To Have and To Hold Onto
by My Kate
Summary: Sara prepares for her wedding day...just not to the man of her dreams. Eventually GSR. Rated M in later chapters. Nick OC. Epilogue added. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I hadn't expected to write another story as my schedule for the month is a nightmare. But this story has been keeping me awake, swimming around in my head since I read a story a while back from _Mouth2mouth_ entitled _You Look So Beautiful_. It is my total inspiration for this story. Reminder that it is GSR all the way, so don't let the first chapter or two get you downhearted. It's sure to run only a few chapters, but unless I get it written it will continue to haunt my dreams. Hope it pleases. Reviews are always welcomed, but thanks to all who take the time to read. Updates will probably be weekly. –Kathy

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She was definitely out of her element.

While the lilting strains of an Allegro drifted softly from the state-of-the-art sound system, the bustling activity coupled with the excited screech of a few delighted shoppers made Sara cringe.

Hiding behind some dresses hanging from decorative ceiling hooks, she thought about an old Saturday morning cartoon character that used to carry a "portable hole" in his pocket.

She sighed to herself as she imagined how she would give her right arm to own such a ridiculous item at this very moment.

Her ironic smile morphed back into a tight-lipped attempt to regain the practiced expression that strangers would mistake for happiness.

Glancing around at the designer creations encroaching on her airspace, Sara wondered if a portable hole was really all that outlandish of an idea.

"Breathe in, breathe out," she murmured to herself absently, a forlorn twist of her pink-glossed lips mirroring her memory of Grissom repeating that exact mantra as he stroked her back to soothe her when she became so emotionally caught up in the murder of a young boy by his mother.

Shaking herself from the unbidden walk down memory lane, Sara stopped to lean against the tri-fold mirror refusing to allow a single tear to fall.

Briskly rubbing her hands over her face, she wished there was a backdoor to exit from this nightmare of "the feminine dream".

Continuing down the sea of white, she could hear her name being called impatiently.

She glanced at her watch. The tiny rosebuds on the minute hand mocked her.

She had been AWOL for almost half an hour.

Realizing they might have been seeking her for some time, Sara grabbed the first see-through plastic garment bag that beckoned from a lower rack, and moved towards the gaggle of people creating the commotion.

Turning the corner, she found the four sisters practically overdosing on giddiness, babbling on about the merits of satin vs. lace, clambering about long trains vs. princess tiaras – all speaking at once until Sara thought she might pass out just for some peace and quiet.

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She had secretly always wanted to belong to someone, always wanted to be welcomed into the comfort and security of someone's really big, noisy family.

She had secretly always wanted to sit around the fireplace with someone, drinking hot cocoa with marshmallows, listening and laughing about "remember when" trilogies.

She had secretly always wanted to spend holidays with someone, opening Christmas presents from them that were full of funny trinkets and baubles laced with sentimental tidings.

She had secretly always wanted someone to tuck an engagement ring within the confines of a stuffed teddy or a box-within-a-box-within-a-box.

She had found that someone.

She had been so overwhelmed that she simply nodded her downcast head before being enveloped in the tightest bear hug she had ever experience.

She was sure he had never seen the flash of regret that had quickly been masked by smiling lips, hiding eyes mirroring a heart's quiet resignation.

She would be grateful to marry someone who really loved her – and whom she…cared about deeply.

Before they could kiss to seal their betrothal however, she found herself standing on the sidelines of the complete chaos that had erupted before her.

His family had whisked him away – his father proudly shaking his hand and slapping him on the back, his sisters all huddled around him hugging him like he was leaving for the battlefront – and then, there was his mother.

She began kissing him tearfully and going on – and on – and on – with reassurances that they were _never_ going to lose him, that they would be happy to welcome Sara into the family _if that's what he really wanted._

Sara continued to stand alone on the outside of this family celebration.

_Was this what _she_ really wanted?_

At that moment, Sara stood remembering feeling this lonely only one other time in her life.

That was six months ago, when she had watched _him_ from the safe cocoon of the observation room.

He hadn't known she was there.

He had looked so tired.

He had seemed so - haunted.

"_I couldn't do it_."

Those words spoken, her heart had seized. She stood there, in shock, as her entire existence up to that point came crashing down around her.

Loneliness overwhelmed her.

Her hope for a _happily-ever-after_ died that day.

The real Sara Sidle had died that day.

By the time she had walked out of that room, she was just an empty shell of herself.

She didn't even mourn. Isn't that funny?

The man she knew would be the only man who would ever _really_ know her, who would ever _really_ see the frightened little girl that still resides deep inside her, who would be the one with whom she could let down the walls and _really_ be herself…he was dead to her now.

And she didn't even mourn.

Six months later, Sara had found herself standing outside the fray as she clutched the platinum band housing what she expected was a 2-carat solitaire diamond.

Her first reaction, as she fingered the shiny smoothness of the ring's surface, (if she were brutally honest), was – _gaudy_.

Her first reaction, as she continued to view the congratulatory scene displayed in front of her, (if she were true to herself), was – _escape._

Her first reaction, as she stared at the dark-haired Texan who was the object of his family's adoring attention, was – _I wish it was Grissom._

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"Sara, dear," Mrs. Stokes intoned a bit harshly for Sara's taste, "we really can't have you taking off like that. My Nicky will worry his sweet heart out if you keep doing things like that."

Nick's sisters shook their heads, agreeing with their mother as the whole family always did.

No one messed with this matriarch.

Mrs. Stokes had run her household with a firm hand. She was not to be trifled with.

She did have her sweet side, however, and was much beloved within the community of friends who continued to remind Sara at every opportunity how lucky she was to have a mother-in-law like Lillian.

Sara decided she would like _that_ Lillian, the one who ran benefit auctions for the Ladies' Guild and volunteered at the local hospital three afternoons a week.

Always the consummate criminalist, Sara was unfortunately very adept at reading between the lines, and observing behaviors when suspects were out of the limelight.

Lillian Stokes was going to be a real thorn in Sara's side.

But Nick loved his mother, and Nick professed his love for Sara at every opportunity.

For his sake, she kept her opinions to herself, quietly acquiescing as the rest of the family modeled.

The least she could do was fake it. For now.

After all, the family ranch in Texas _was _a long way from Vegas. And their work schedules really didn't allow for frequent visits.

Sara sighed inwardly, wishing _everything_ that was hurtful was a long way from Vegas.

Seeing his reaction to Nick's announcement after their return from their Christmas break had almost done her in.

Nick had his arm wrapped so tightly around her, Sara found herself unable to breathe.

She couldn't bring herself to look directly at her supervisor, preferring instead to keep her eyes on the chair in front of where he stood.

She had watched his fingers tense, gripping the crimson leather back so tightly that his nails creased and then cracked through the tightly wrapped covering, releasing some white strands of stuffing to coat his work-tempered fingernails.

She was glad Nick held onto her so tightly. Like that chair back, she felt herself coming apart at the seams.

Crashing through the fog of her daydream, she heard the annoying caterwauling continue closer to her.

"Sara, _dear_," Mrs. Stokes intoned again, almost exasperated. "If I can have your attention," and her four daughters immediately stopped talking, "since you can't seem to find what you are looking for, I took the liberty of having the shop's owner take several dresses into the fitting room for you."

She paused, waiting for Sara to express her gratitude for this helpful gesture.

Instead, Sara produced her garment bag, stating blandly, "Actually, I thought –"

She paused as the bag was unceremoniously taken from her grasp and laid across a nearby settee.

"I'm sure you will love _these_ better," Lillian drawled, placing her hand on Sara's elbow pushing her forward to meet with the waiting dressing room assistants.

"We'll be waiting right here, that's a good girl now," she finished in a tone that would brook no arguments.

It hadn't taken Sara long to rid herself of the over-eager "assistants" who suddenly remembered some vital chores that they needed to attend to. They apparently were not used to clients who could silence whole rooms of LVPD officers with a single glare.

Alone in the queen sized dressing room, smartly outfitted in trendy interior design, Sara slumped down on the overstuffed easy chair.

She fingered the exquisite beading of the satin train that hung before her, absently imagining walking down the aisle, excitement sending her heart into arrhythmia as she sauntered closer to the end of her lonely life, closer to being cherished by someone who would love her forever, closer to becoming the next Mrs.-

She closed her eyes, her heart controlling her thoughts.

_Mrs. Grissom._

She found herself unable to breathe, panic setting in.

_What was she doing?_

_Nick had saved her from drowning in her sorrow after Grissom's pronouncement._

_He had professed his love for her after their third night together._

_She found herself buying into the dream of a new life with someone she cared for._

_Nick had offered her a new life, a home, children, a family._

_Grissom had wanted none of that with her._

_Dammit! She was going to marry Nick and she was going to have the life she always dreamed of._

_Even…if it wasn't with the only man she would ever truly _love_._

Sara forced herself from her padded shelter and called for the assistants to return.

They deftly unzipped the first bag, removing the frivolous garment as Sara beginning to shed her street clothes before slipping inside the cool taffeta underslip.

This wasn't the type of wedding she had always thought she'd have.

"_Arms slide into two sleeves, Miss Sidle."_

She had imagined a twilight ceremony on a desert plateau with intimate friends.

"_Side zipper raised comfortably?"_

Instead, his family had invited half of the Texas judicial system and every shoestring relation that Nick had (and some he didn't even know).

"_Slip your feet into these medium height heels to help get the idea."_

There would be no family on the bride's side, save a few of their coworkers.

"_Turn towards the mirror now, dear."_

Will Grissom even attend?

"_Stunning! You're going to make some man very happy, my dear!"_

…oh, Gil…


	2. Chapter 2

He had been sitting at this desk for over an hour

He had been sitting at this desk for over an hour. Shades drawn, door locked to keep out any distractions, he sat there gazing at the elaborately printed invitation.

**The honor of your presence is requested…**

_I have no one to blame but myself…_

Six months.

It had been six months since the Debbie Marlin murder case.

Six months.

It had been six months since he admitted his true feelings to a man who had gotten away with murder.

Six months.

It had been six months since he finally admitted to himself the simple truth – he loved Sara Sidle.

Six months.

In those days after the Marlin case was closed, he took long drives to the desert. He remembered sitting there under the stars wondering what it would be like to allow Sara into his life.

After all, she had already captured his heart.

Six months.

It had been six months since he had drawn a painless breath.

Six months.

It had been six months since Sara suddenly decided to return Nick's affections.

He had always known Nick was in love with Sara.

The little ways he would hover close to her when she was stressing about an abuse case.

How he would engage her in "private talk" around the others, their "private jokes" that always made her laugh.

He loved to see her laugh.

Grissom sighed deeply.

_I never made her laugh._

He knew Sara had feelings for him, but he never felt like he could act on them.

He was most afraid that she would leave him for a younger man.

And now she had.

Mentally he berated himself.

Gil Grissom had lived in fear of taking a chance on the only woman he truly ever loved.

Now she was gone, with no happy memories to sustain him.

He had been a fool.

And now it _was _too late.

The sound of knocking jarred him from his daydream.

Glancing at his wristwatch, he jerked his chair towards his desktop and stood hastily, almost spilling the assignment sheets over the floor.

Grabbing the doorknob, he thrust it open to find – Nick.

Oblivious to the turmoil he was causing his supervisor, Nick flashed a smile towards Grissom and indicated he wished to enter the office.

"I…I'm running a bit late, Nick, so…" Grissom began.

"This should only take a sec –" interrupted Nick, as if waiting might prevent him from getting out what he wanted to say.

"Oh…alright…I guess," Grissom muttered the last part of his response, figuring Nick would not hear him as he was already implanted in the center of Gil's spacious office.

"What is it, Nick?" the supervisor now in active work mode.

"Trouble with your 419?"

"No…this is more…personal," Nick beamed.

_You decided to call off the wedding?_

"See, Griss, it's like this…I want Sara to be happy…"

_You decided you don't want to marry her after all?_

"Now, I know you two were very friendly when she came to Vegas…"

_Friendly? She loved me! I loved her! Wait…she still might love me…because I still love her…_

"See, Griss," Nick started as he sat forward in the chair in front of Gil's desk.

"Sara…doesn't have any family. Her parents died in a car crash when she was young and she was raised by an aunt who is deceased now."

_Sara was…WHAT?? She didn't tell you about her mother…her father…the foster homes?? Sara – what kind of games are you playing at?_

"Now, I know that this may be a lot to ask, knowing your past relationship with Sara, but…"

_PAST relationship?_

"I know it would mean a lot to her if you would…."

_PAST relationship? Oh my word…I really HAVE lost her!_

"…be the one to give her away."

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Sara and Nick had returned from their homestead vacation earlier in the week.

He had tried to convince her to move into his apartment, "because I can't stand to say goodbye to you anymore."

She had remained adamant.

"We've waited this long, we can wait a little more."

The truth of the matter was that no matter what the rest of the team thought they knew, Nick and Sara had not consummated their relationship.

That was not for lack of trying on Nick's part.

But their schedules made it easy for Sara to stall that part of their relationship.

She even had herself convinced that, although she had been 'involved' with two previous boyfriends – one in college, and , well, there was that lapse of judgment with Hank – her total romantic encounters could be added up on one hand, and with some digits to spare.

Sara liked to consider herself virtually a virgin.

All three times, she had been heavily under the influence – of a depressing state of loneliness.

Craving human contact, she had allowed herself to be sweet-talked into a roll in the hay.

Afterwards, she had felt numb.

So now, with Nick, she wanted to stave off that feeling as long as possible.

He loved her, told her every chance he got.

He loved her, showed her with kindnesses and thoughtful gestures that would make any other woman drool.

But Sara Sidle was not just another woman.

And so they cuddled and kissed, but at the end of the night she drove off leaving him frustrated but willing to do anything to demonstrate his real commitment to her.

She often cried all the way home.

Sara walked heavily into her apartment, slinging her backpack over a chair back while moving to the fridge to grab a water bottle.

She spied the six-pack Nick had gotten to go with that pizza he brought over.

They had gotten called out so they took the unfinished pizza to the breakroom and left the beer forgotten in Sara's fridge.

Sara slammed the door to remove the temptation from sight.

She had enough common sense to not drink when she felt empty like this.

It had always created a problem before.

The closed door mocked her with the large calendar Nick's sister had made.

Grimacing at the cutesy hearts and flowers drawn all over it, Sara removed the top card and mentally shuddered.

21 more days.

In three weeks she would be Mrs. Nick Stokes.

He would be a good husband, faithful friend, and she suspected from their brief encounters a wonderful lover.

She just wished it mattered to her.

_Mrs. Nick Stokes._

She heard the clunk of the aluminum cans as she removed one icy can from its secured spot in the beer holder.

_Mrs. Sara Stokes._

Sara rolled her eyes and upended the cold can until it was empty.

_Mrs. Lillian Stokes._

How she was getting to hate that woman.

Her arm still raised as she emptied her frosty draft, Sara caught sight of the wristwatch her mother-in-law had chosen for her.

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"_Really, Sara dear…a _man'_s watch?"_

Biting back a comment, Sara had smiled and offered that this watch came equipped with a waterproof alarm, stopwatch, time zone notification, and other perks that made it a wiser choice when she was out in the field or in the lab.

She hesitated to mention that Grissom had lent her this watch and decided it would be better for her to keep it as he already had a spare.

It became a staple of her wardrobe.

That was what made the last few days of their visit so difficult.

One morning she had felt a presence in her room, but before she could force her eyes open, Lillian was gone.

Sara thought she had imagined the visitor until she raised herself on her elbows.

That was when she spotted it.

_A platinum band with a dainty face. Tiny rosebuds on the minute hand? _

The entire timepiece seemed so delicate that Sara was afraid to stretch it onto her wrist for fear of breaking it.

And where was Grissom's watch?

Heart racing, she stormed through the hallway in search of Lillian.

Seeing her pour Nick another cup of coffee, Sara paused in the dining room doorway.

Noticing her, he smiled at Sara lovingly before pulling her into a passionate kiss.

Definitely aroused, Nick muttered into her hair, "'Mornin', darlin'"

Sara pulled away on the guise of getting herself some much needed caffeine.

She glared daggers at Lillian's back before asking her in a strained voice, "Lillian –"

"Sara, dear," Nick's mother interrupted harshly, "I prefer you can me Mother, dear. Lillian seems so…" she dismissed Sara with a wave of her hand.

The watery makeup of the human body can alter states by the application of human emotion.

In other words, Sara was now steaming.

"About my watch –" she continued, not giving into Lillian's demand for the use of a proper appellation.

"Oh, that old thing," she trivialized Sara's comment as if she were a toddler.

"Your new watch is just so much more …feminine, don't you think?" Lillian continued without looking in Sara's direction.

"Sara?" inquired Nick absently. "Did Mom get you a new watch?"

Again, before she could respond, Nick grabbed her hand and glanced at the new piece on her wrist before raising it to his lips for a quick peck.

"Fabulous!" Nick directed towards his Mom, thinking how great it was to have the two most important women in his life standing in front of him.

Clueless to Sara's emotional state, he released her hand and went back to enjoying the Sports Section of the Texas Star newspaper.

"What..." Sara could barely eek out a civil note. "What happened to my old watch? I will need it when we get back…"

"That old thing? Sorry, dear, but even in its decrepit state I was able to make a fabulous trade-in for this one. I'm sure you will get much more use out of the new one….after all, there are just so many places that tired old thing would be appropriate to wear…"

And with that, Lillian swept out of the room leaving an oblivious Nick and a speechless Sara in her wake.

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By her third beer, Sara had admitted that she had lost control of her life.

Her thoughts were mired, as they had been during the entire shift, on those brief moments in the break room where Nick had followed Grissom as they all waited for their assignments.

As had been his practice these last six months, Nick and Sara were partnered together. However, as the others filed out, Nick put his arm around Sara and grinned.

"Sunshine, I have a real surprise for you!"

_You've changed your mind about marrying me? _

"I know this is going to be your special day, and I want everything to be just perfect for you, darlin'"

Although purposefully keeping her gaze away from his direction, Sara cringed under Grissom's tight-lipped silence as Nick continued. She couldn't look at Gil, couldn't stop wondering if he felt _anything_ about the way Nick was embracing her.

"So…I have asked someone – special - in your life to give you away at our wedding!"

Being lead CSI on a federal case could not have made Nick any more excited.

"Sara, I have asked Griss to be the one to give you away…and he is more than happy to do it!"

She turned in shock to have Gil react to her attitude with a scowl.

"Unless…you have some objections…" Gil had spoken evenly, trying to reign in his anxiety at being the one Nick chose.

"No…uh…no, that….that's great, thank you Nick…" she said before the silence loomed any longer.

After that Grissom had simply turned and left her alone, with Nick continuing on so excitedly about their impending nuptials.

The event brought a sullen cast to Sara's now tipsy features.

She cracked open beer number 5.

As she had only been home about 30 minutes, Sara's rapid consumption of her liquid pain reliever found her currently sliding from her original standing position to her new temporary residence on the floor.

Sara mumbled Gil's name, something about waiting for her down the aisle, she'd be right there.

Closing her eyes, she could see his face staring disapprovingly at her current state.

But this image morphed as she looked deep into the heart-stopping blue of his eyes.

He loved her.

She could see it in all the things he had done to hide that fact, even from himself.

She forced her eyes open.

She wouldn't look at him anymore.

She didn't need to be reminded of her heartbreak again.

Even these beers weren't enough to force him out of her thoughts.

She wished she could stop being reminded of how, for a brief moment, he had admitted he loved her just as she always suspected.

She knew deep down, most especially after moments like the one in which he had given her his watch.

_That stupid watch. _

_Stupid Nick's mother._

_Stupid bitch._

_That_ thought made Sara laugh so hard she burst into tears.

Now, she was chugging her beer, flashbacks of happy Saturday nights with roommates from college days bringing smiles and more tears simultaneously to Sara's face.

She could drink them all under the table, but she had avoided getting too friendly with any of them because they had asked too many questions.

Here and now, she didn't have to worry about anybody's opinions about her past.

She had lied to Nick about her past.

That thought made her uncomfortable, as Nick had never been anything but totally consumed by pleasing her.

But she would never be able to bring herself to share such an intimate secret with him.

No, there was ever only person she could trust enough to share such an intimate secret with.

Besides, Nick's perfect family would just about freak if they knew.

Imagine, a state appellate judge whose son married "the girl whose father was stabbed to death".

_Yeah, ole Lillian would have a cow._

Sara let out a drunken hoot before leaning over far enough to rest her weary head on the uncomfortably cold tile of her kitchen floor.

_Yep, ole Lil was really going to be a pain in her ass._

Her eyes now focused on the countdown calendar taunting her with its proximity, for the first time Sara embraced the thought of her wedding day actually being three weeks away.

_They would be man and wife for a lifetime._

_Lillian would be interfering in their lives for a lifetime._

Sara bristled at that thought, though truth be known at this moment all her thoughts were getting fuzzy.

_You marry the man, you marry the family._

She couldn't focus on anything except her burgeoning dislike for Lillian.

Sara hated being "handled".

With monumental effort, Sara pulled her wrist closer to eyelevel, inspecting the timepiece adorning her wrist.

_Screw her! I hate this watch…_

Finally allowing her pent up emotions some release, the platinum missile slammed forcefully into the makeshift calendar target, impressively disassembling upon impact. The rose petals became disengaged from the minute hand, the force of the blow effectively rendering the entire delicate piece useless.

_Take THAT, Lil-baby!_

With some effort, Sara pulled herself back into a sitting position and popped the ring tab on the final can. She perched the can to her lips as her eyes fell again on the calendar looming menacingly before her.

Sipping slowly, Sara spoke though no one was there to listen.

"ThreewEEks! Then Grissssommm willll be waiting and Nickeee willll _walk_ me down the aisle…." her confusion belying her weakening conscious state, she almost whispered as the final drops hit her tongue.

Clutching the last of the six-pack in her hand, Sara's head moved full back then swiveled almost completely sideways before she reached for him in her dreams and fell forward causing her to land heavily on the aluminum rim, the can crushing under her weight baring the sharp edge of the opening. As she continued her downward motion, the sharp edge grazed her face and she suffered a cut to her forehead that caused her to wince briefly before passing out on the cold, lonely tiles of her kitchen floor.

Before she slid into the welcomed darkness, she breathed out, "…oh, Gil…"


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Okay, I know I said a weekly update, but I am as anxious as you all seem to be to start them on their journey towards each other……thanks for the outrageously terrific reviews and for all those supporting this story…jenstog – here's the quick update you've been asking for…you people are amazing! – Kathy

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Nick sat in his Denali across from Sara's apartment building.

Though she consistently refused to stay the night with him, Nick inevitably followed her home each night.

In the beginning he told himself that he just wanted to assure himself that she got home safely. He did, after all, love her deeply.

But over the weeks, Nick found himself _needing _to follow Sara home to be sure that she _went_ home.

As his attachment to Sara grew, so did his anxiety over the possibility of her deciding to put an end to their relationship.

That was the reason he surprised her with that engagement ring even though they had only dated a few months, and the impetus behind allowing his family to create a perfect wedding day within a two-month's time frame.

And now, he smiled; it would be only three more weeks.

Then no one could take Sara away from him.

He would spend the entire rest of his life making her happy.

And she would remain faithful to him.

Oh, he realized that he loved _her_ far more than she could ever love _him_. After all, he had been falling in love slowly while they had been steadfast friends for the last five years. He prided himself on the fact that he knew what she needed more than she knew herself.

He had stepped back and allowed her to date that bastard Hank. He knew that one day Hank would screw up, and then he would be there waiting to console her – and make her see that he was the only real man out there who would love her enough to make her the center of his universe.

And she _would_ love him. And then no one would be able to take his Sara away from him.

He sighed and shook his head, staring blankly out at the heavens…but then, there had been the roadblock called Grissom.

His hands gripped the steering wheel tighter, remembering all the times Sara had taken it on the chin, let it roll of her back, looked the other way – god, he could _kill_ Grissom for the pain he had put her through.

But Sara didn't notice Grissom anymore. And their supervisor had been careful not to team her with him once Nick was in the picture.

Nick smiled. Yes, the entire lab understood that Sara was with _Nicky_ now.

Nick frowned. But he still wondered about Grissom's true feelings for Sara.

That was the reason he asked Griss to be the one to give Sara away.

Nick reasoned that if physically gave her away, placing her hands in the hands of another, that there would be no room for discussion – Grissom would see that he _was_ too late.

Nick smiled. He remembered Sara's stunned look when he told her the news that evening in the breakroom.

She reacted much as she had in the past, trying hard to make it seem like things were fine when she couldn't wait to get as far away from Grissom as possible.

Yes, Sara loved _him_ and only _him_. They were going to have a very happy life.

Nick turned his eyes back to Sara's apartment. She still had the drapes open in her living room.

_Must have fallen asleep on the couch_, Nick reasoned.

In the euphoria that engulfed him, he blew Sara a kiss good night.

_Sweet dreams, pumpkin. We'll be together soon._

And with that, Nick turned the key in the ignition and with one final glance around to ensure no danger lurked near the object of his obsession, he pulled out and turned on the car's blinker in the direction of his home.

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Sara was stirred from her deep sleep by the sound of her cell phone, which blared a bit too loudly for someone with a medium-sized hangover.

She attempted to straighten herself to a sitting position, moaning loudly as her taut muscles protested their previous sleeping position.

Pulling her cell phone to her ear, she rasped distractedly, "Sidle".

After a moment's hesitation, Grissom inquired with surprisingly gentle concern, "Are you alright?"

Sara attempted to move the thatch of hair that had covered her face when the blood-soaked tresses pulled painfully on the slightly-opened forehead wound.

"Ow!" she reacted painfully, her voice belied her hurt and surprise, as the matted hair demanded to stay in place.

"Sara!" he cried into the phone, already on his feet and intending to find her.

"Sara! Talk to me, honey! What's wrong?"

Sara's heart lurched at the endearment she was sure he didn't even know he uttered.

"Sorry, I..I must have bumped myself harder than I thought I did last night."

Reacting to his poorly-disguised sigh of relief, she added, "Really…I'm fine."

Grissom sat a moment waiting for heart to start beating normally again.

"Uh…we have a body with bugs out in Schooner Caverns…I was calling to have you go out with me seeing as Nick and Warrick have court in the morning and we might not be done processing and honestly if there was anyone else I could bother but there is no one because Cath has this school thing with Lindsey, and –"

Gil stopped his babbling at the sound emitting from the receiver.

Was she laughing at him?

Before he could begin again, Sara chuckled and said, "It's ok, Griss…you are _still_ my supervisor…you can _still_ call me…it's what you do…you call and I say 'where should I meet you' and then we process a scene."

After a pause Sara continued, "So where do you want me?"

Grissom closed his eyes. _Was she being flip…or was she – _flirting _– with him?_

As soon as those words were uttered, Sara almost dropped the phone. _What the hell are you doing, Sidle? You're getting married in three weeks!_

Gil regrouped quickly and simply said he's be by in ten minutes to pick her up at the apartment so they could head out to the scene together.

Sara replied that if she wasn't out front, he should come up to her place and wait.

He asked how he'd gain entrance.

She said she'd leave the door unlocked.

He went into a mini-tirade, reminding her about being more responsible, worried about her safety.

She snickered when he finished and said she was just kidding.

He coughed loudly and said he knew that.

She told him the combination for her building and her private code to enter her apartment.

But, she warned, that's if she was not outside waiting for him.

Gil had already put that information into his cell phone notepad page.

She said she was hanging up now because she was going to grab a quick shower.

He smiled and said she had _nine_ minutes left before he got there.

She hung up the phone, and then enjoyed a happy moment before glancing down at the blood-smeared beer can before spotting the broken watch on the kitchen floor.

_That watch…I'll just tell them it broke…after all, who could possibly read the time on it in the field? And it didn't even have a stopwatch…stopwatch…_

_Tick tock, Sara._

Sara realized she had just wasted some of her nine minutes and raced, albeit a bit unsteadily, towards the rejuvenating power of a cold shower.

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Arriving at her apartment, he was smirking wildly when he saw her racing to her front stoop, only to slow down and saunter in a more subdued tone towards his Denali.

_That is the first time, Ms. Sidle, that I have ever seen anyone "saunter" while their chest is heaving like they have just run a marathon._

_And what exactly am _I_ doing looking at your chest, anyway?_ Gil shook his head –hard- as if to banish those thoughts.

But his eyes had other ideas.

He continued to observe her as Sara slid into the passenger seat and flashed him a Sidle grin _par excellence_. That was when Gil noticed the bruising and slight ooze of blood around her forehead cut.

Before he could inquire, she attempted to ease his mind about her injury.

Assuring him it was minor, Sara pulled down the visor mirror and applied some first aid cream on the one inch cut. The action caused her to make a quick intake of breath, causing him to wince while keeping his eyes only half on the road.

Finishing with a flourish, she smiled a bit broader than she felt, but – with the forgetfulness that comes from a hope-filled heart, Sara told herself that any time she had ridden with Grissom alone had always been a happy time and this time was not going to be an exception.

Realizing she was not going to divulge any more details about her mishap, Gil began with an update on the particulars of the case.

As they approached their destination about 45 minutes later, miles from the desert main road and out of cell phone reception, Gil finished his update with these thoughts:

"I'll take the body, and you take the perimeter."

Bringing the Denali to a halt, he pocketed the keys and they both exited through their own door.

The afternoon sun was making bug-collection difficult.

Gil had been talking the case through, giving Sara's insightful responses the greatest of consideration. They held considerable enjoyment for him, as he had missed working with her for the last six months.

"So…what are your thoughts about the possibility of a body dump?

When she was about to respond, Gil had his back to her and missed the tell tale sign that the edge of the cliff was about to give way.

Before she knew it, Sara had the ground literally swept out from under her.

With no warning, she didn't even have time to call out, as she was bent on preventing herself from falling to the bottom of the rocky abyss.

So there she hung, slender and bloodied fingers gripping as if her life depended on it, to a small edge of a large boulder protruding out from the Cliffside, about four or five feet from the edge where she had been standing.

Grissom, not receiving an answer to his recent query, glanced over his shoulder casually, then resumed a quick scan of the area before bouncing up and moving haphazardly around the sandy area between his position and the cliff.

He was frantic now, bellowing out in anxious tones, "Sara!...Sara!...honey, where are you?..._Answer me_!...Sara!"

She tried to respond, but every time she opened her mouth, falling dirt threatened to make breathing difficult and so she hung there, praying his training would not let him overlook this area.

_And did he even realize he had just called her 'honey' for the second time this afternoon?_

Moving towards the last place he had seen her, his heart seized in his chest.

Leaping to the ground, he crawled across the hot sand on his stomach until he reached the crumbling edge.

Until his dying day, he would remember the scene before him.

"Sara! Don't let go! I'm coming, sweetheart!"

His mind already totally engaged, racing towards a solution to her dilemma. Although he was unconsciously babbling, he was unaware that it was his heart that was doing the talking.

Gil backed up quickly, scraping his forearms on the rocky debris of the desert sand near this cliff.

Racing towards his Denali, he spun it around and floored the gas pedal until the moment he would release it and depress both feet onto the brake pedal.

Jumping out of the vehicle, he clicked on the hoist mechanism and watched the chained hook begin to unwind from under the front fender as he began pulling it towards Sara's desperate situation.

Not finding anything on his person to secure the hook to, the hoist continued to release the lifesaving mechanism.

Not willing to take time to think of a better solution, Gil wrapped the chain and hook around his chest, under his armpits and began to scale the crumbling cliff parallel to Sara's location.

The chain and hook were pressing painfully into his well-developed chest muscles, but Gil was so focused on Sara's plight he didn't notice.

Pulling alongside her, his repelling movements had loosened more soil and Sara was now facing the real danger of becoming part of the landslide.

Her terrified eyes locked with his.

For a nanosecond, the earth stopped revolving.

Suddenly, her face went slack – and she gave him a weary, heartfelt smile.

His heartbeat thundered in his ears.

_No! You are _not_ saying goodbye!_

"NO, Sara!" he shouted angrily, expecting that their silent communication skills were still viable enough for her to understand the meaning behind his words.

With that, Gil pushed at the mountainside with his powerful legs, swinging far out from the falling debris.

As his motion became reversed, he held out both hands and scooped Sara up into his outstretched arms, capturing her and holding her tightly to his chest – just as the entire hillside crumbled loudly.

Gil pushed off the boulder that had been Sara's lifeline, repelling them out farther, away from the danger of being struck by debris.

By the time his feet hit the mountainside again, the area had stabilized. The level of soil loosened by the recent heavy desert rain was now crashing downwards upon the rocky valley floor. The mountainside was again stable.

His upper extremities were becoming numb from the combination of the chain's pressure and Sara's position against his chest.

"Sara," he choked out, still weakened from the fear of losing her.

"Sara, can you climb?"

Sara lifted her head from the security of his shoulder. She stared deeply into his eyes for a moment before nodding numbly.

Although concerned that she might be in shock, he knew she needed to help if they were to get back onto firmer ground.

He kept his knees pressed painfully into the mountainside as he hoisted Sara higher in his grasp. Her feet planted on his bent legs, her long frame twisted until she faced away from him.

Using her thin but well-developed upper arms, she hoisted herself back onto the desert floor. Not stopping to catch her breath, she ran clumsily to the Denali and reversed the switch for the hoist, watching as it easily pulled Gil back to safety.

Once he was on flat ground, she shut off the hoist and ran to help him disengage himself from the chain.

She gasped as she saw his shirt was bloodied under both arms.

Without hesitation, she grabbed his shirt and pulled it towards his head before crying out in disbelief at the price her safety had cost him.

He pulled his shirt from her hands and began to inspect _her_ in a similar manner, checking out her scraped arms and torn jeans.

They stood there in the hot Nevada sun, pawing each other while trying to dissuade the tears of relief from falling from each other's eyes.

Reasonably assured she had suffered no life-threatening injury, he stopped to really look at her dusty countenance, now muddied by a few unstoppable tears escaping from her bewildered gaze.

When she raised her eyes to meet his, all his willpower towards this woman evaporated.

He grabbed her, holding her so close he was sure she had been absorbed into the very fiber of his existence.

She clung to him, still disoriented by all that had just transpired in the last ten minutes.

They stood there for a heartbeat of eternity, when they were distracted by the sound of a large vehicle moving quickly in their direction.

Sara was feeling a bit faint now, and started swaying a bit as she tried to move away from him.

Gil refused to let her go. "Sara –" he began, wanting to prevent her from leaving the security of his embrace.

Focusing totally on her, he didn't at first pay attention to an angry-looking Nick Stokes slamming the door and pacing furiously towards them.

"Dammit, Grissom-" he began, but stopped as the criminalist in him began to take in the scene before him.

- The hoist not fully returned to its fender location

- The dust cloud coming from the ridge directly behind them

- The dirt that covered both Grissom and Sara

- The blood caked shirt Grissom was wearing

- The shaky stance that Sara maintained

- The way he was holding her, to stop her from falling

"Sara! What the hell happened?" he cried, racing to grasp her unceremoniously from Gil's protective grasp.

"Nick, she needs medical attention…" was all Grissom could utter before sinking slowly to sit on the ground.

He needed to regroup after the ordeal.

He needed to change his shirt and get some medication for his own bruises.

He needed to be sure Sara would be alright.

He needed…to hold Sara again.

Without another word, Nick scooped Sara up into his strong arms and carried her limp form towards his Denali.

Before he reached the passenger door to deposit Sara into the passenger seat, she raised her head to look over his shoulder at Gil.

He was sitting on the ground, just staring at them.

He was hurt, because he had saved her.

He was hurting…because she had left him.

Nick placed a soft kiss on her lips as he fastened her seatbelt, closing the door to run around to the driver's side.

Before he jumped into his bucket seat and raised a dust storm leaving the scene, Sara glanced once more in Gil's direction.

He was still sitting there, watching Nick leave with the love of his life.

And all Sara could mutter softly to herself was, "…oh, Gil…"


	4. Chapter 4

Working late into the early hours yesterday, I finished this chapter tonight as a reward to all those readers who took the time to review, and for all those who are supporting this story by reading each chapter, but most especially for my GSR friend jenstog who is just _so_ demanding … : ) …graduations this weekend, so I am sure there won't be an update until next Monday or so…that is one reason I made sure this chapter was long and meaty, and left our duo in a happier place than last…Happy Mother's Day to all who have children and to those who open their hearts to care for God's little ones… I am having a great time writing this story, hope it pleases…-Kathy

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While Sara was having some X-rays taken, the ER doctor approached the waiting room paging "Family of Sara Sidle". Nick was immediately on his feet.

"Dr. Grissom?" asked the physician. Nick's face flushed with emotion – anger?

Even Nick wasn't sure where that was coming from.

"Nick Stokes. Sara is my fiancée," he replied tersely, his chest unconsciously puffing a bit as he did when he felt like he needed to remain in control of a personal encounter.

"Oh…I see," the doctor replied absently, flipping through a chart and glancing curiously at Nick.

Before they could continue, Brass and Grissom appeared at the ER check-in desk. Brass was doing the talking, while Grissom did not appear too happy to be there.

Recognizing the detective from their past dealings at the hospital, Dr. Craig looked at Nick pointedly to say that Sara was doing fine, but there were some additional tests that were needed before Nick could see her. With that, the doctor left before Nick could ask any questions.

Moving quickly towards Brass, the doctor called out to gain his attention. Seeing Grissom's condition, the doctor set aside his motive for seeking the detective, and motioned to them to follow him into an exam area.

Once inside, Brass introduced Dr. Craig to Grissom.

"Dr. _Gil_ Grissom?"

"One and the same," Grissom replied before shaking hands with the doctor, "and I am _not_ in need of medical care."

The doctor smiled. He had seen these work-intensive types before from his dealings with the LVPD.

"Well, then, humor an old man, will you Gil?" he asked in his best bedside manner.

"Besides, I was just about to look for you." This comment had Grissom's head snapping to attention.

"Seems we have a Sara Sidle here to be treated for injuries, and you-"

"are her emergency contact. How is she doctor?" Gil interrupted with the type of intensity that Craig was used to from close-knit families of loved ones.

"Well…" the doctor stammered. He really should be talking to Brass alone before broaching this subject with Grissom.

Sensing his hesitation, Brass simply stated, "Gil and I are Sara's family, doc. She has no one else. Please be confident to speak freely."

With that, Dr. Craig divulged the information about the old fractures and scarring that Sara's X-rays had uncovered.

"Of course, in cases like this the LVPD is usually notified, but since she was one of your own, I thought perhaps you could talk with her…privately…perhaps question her about her current relationship," Craig ended.

Grissom sighed.

"There'd be no need for that," Grissom began, ignoring the intensity of Brass' shocked gaze.

With that, he gave the doctor an abbreviated medical history for Sara, including case file contact numbers, and pertinent information concerning which hospitals in Tamales Bay would retain verifiable records to corroborate his story.

"But…there can't be any official investigation on this, doctor. Sara's history is just that. She has rallied over impossible odds and has a good life here.

I am the only person to date that she has confided in. That is the reason I became her emergency contact.

Just as you uncovered her secret, she wanted to be sure the rest of her coworkers remained in the dark. I'd expect you to honor her wishes."

Slightly confused, the doctor asked about Nick. "She hasn't even told her fiancé?" he asked almost unbelieving.

A flash of pain crossed Grissom's face at the mention of Sara's fiancé. He quickly regrouped and responded, "It is her story to tell."

"I see," said Dr. Craig, although Grissom did not fully realize the depth of the physician's understanding of this situation. Working as he did with the public can give you an uncanny sense about truth in relationships.

The doctor could see there was more to Grissom's relationship with Sara, but let it go for now.

Turning to Brass, the doctor agreed there would be no need to file a state-mandated report in this case, as proper documentation was already done on the old wounds and no new abuse could be corroborated due to the extent of Sara's injuries.

For now, he would not broach Sara on the subject of his experience with victims of domestic violence being abused by their current partners.

However, from what he had seen in Nick's reactions upon their initial meeting, he realized he would like to get some more information about this fiancé before his mind could be fully at rest.

Thanking the doctor for his discretion, Brass turned his attention to Grissom. Extremely aggravated, Grissom sat quietly nursing the pain under his arms while he listened to Brass as he started to relate to the physician details of the incident that caused the major bruising now requiring attention.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was agreed that Sara would stay a day or two for observation, as some of her ribs were bruised severely. With the surrounding area badly swollen, it was always possible she actually had an undetected fracture which might jeopardize her breathing. They'd know more when the swelling subsided a bit.

So, against her wishes, Sara was moved to a private room.

She was so tired, her eyes would not remain open although her hearing created a mini-movie marathon, playing on the insides of her eyelids, concerning the events happening around her.

A bit earlier, Nick had been shown in, and he instinctively pulled her into a painful hug. Even when she whimpered a bit at the jolts of pain moving through her chest, Nick would not release her. It wasn't until the nurse insisted that he let go of her.

She sunk into the pillow, eyes closed, trying to fight back a tear. Sara didn't want Nick to feel badly, he just was showing her again how much she meant to him.

While Sara rested, Nick couldn't take his eyes from her pseudo-sleeping form.

_Grissom._

_Grissom is your emergency contact._

_Why hadn't you ever mentioned that?_

_Exactly what _other_ items did you fail to mention about your relationship with Grissom, Sara?_

Nick bolted angrily out of his seat and paced towards the window. Sara was oblivious to his movements as her pain medication had taken effect.

_This is crazy._

_Sara loves me._

_NOT Grissom._

_Sara is going to be my wife._

_I have to trust her._

_I have to get this jealousy under control._

Nick took a deep breath and returned to his chair, pulling it closer to Sara's bed before taking her hand in his.

That was when his beeper went off.

Sighing, he kissed her lightly on the lips. She never stirred.

Nick went into the waiting room to take the call. Arguing for a moment, he realized Catherine was right.

With Grissom and Sara out on emergency sick leave, they were short-handed.

And it wasn't like Sara was going to do much more than sleep.

Nick stopped in for one more quick kiss, professed his love, and left his sleeping beauty to rest.

He made one more stop at the nurses' station, leaving his contact information should they need to call him about any change in Sara's condition.

About to reach the exit of the ER, he spotted Brass sitting in the waiting room.

He had been there a while waiting on Gil while he was being examined and X-rayed. Nick did not realize Grissom was in the hospital building.

"Brass! Great that I ran into you! Sara's upstairs asleep, but I got called out on a case. Before you leave, perhaps you could sit with her for a while, in case she wakes up and needs something."

Brass had been sitting in contemplation over the conversation with Dr. Craig and the whole wedding situation.

He smiled as he realized he would now finally have a chance to talk to Sara alone, something Nick seemed to always interrupt since they got back from their Christmas holiday in Texas.

Brass promised Nick he would go to see Sara straight away. With that, Nick left but continued to feel uneasy about leaving Sara alone. Rushing out of the revolving door, he pulled out his cell phone and hit speed dial.

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After speaking to Grissom's ER nurse, Brass decided not to wait for Gil to get back from X-ray. Instead, he waited in line and was the last person to enter the crowded elevator before capacity was reached.

The door finally opened to the floor in which Sara's room was located and Brass was glad to step out into an open space where he could stop and flex his arms easily.

Before moving towards her room, he observed several people in scrubs moving towards the Recovery Room wing, a well-appointed woman with severely-high heels approaching the nurses' station, and an orderly bringing an empty wheelchair to the storage room nearby.

Pausing before Sara's closed door, Brass ran his hand over his face. He was still a bit stunned by Grissom's discussion with the ER doctor.

_Man. To think of all she went through in her life, and what a success she had made of herself._

_Experiencing all that heartache, and developing into such a caring person._

_No wonder they all loved her so._

_If anyone needed a happily-ever-after, it was Sara. _

Brass smiled, but it soon faded.

She _was_ going to have that happy ending, wasn't she?

He thought back to the phone call she made to him on her way to the ER. It sounded to him that Sara was phoning over Nick's rather loud protest.

_Brass had been working at his desk when his cell rang._

_Upon answering, he immediately stood and wondered what was wrong with Sara._

_He had never heard her sobbing before._

_He could hear the end of Nick's rant about her needing to calm herself and relax enough to rest._

_Brass was already on the move when he bellowed into the receiver, "Sara! Calm down, honey...where are you? Are you alright?"_

_His heart was beating as she sketchily described the accident scene._

_Her biggest concern, however, was that Grissom was injured, needed help, and had been left all alone at the scene._

Brass vaguely recalled storming out to his unit, firing the lights and sirens as he sped off towards the coordinates Sara had given.

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Now standing still in her doorway, he observed her resting peacefully, albeit a bit banged up.

His thoughts ran back to her pleading, _"Please...don't leave him alone, Jim...he's all alone..."_

_There was something in the way she spoke..._

Just then, a woman's voice from behind him startled him, making him stand away from the doorway, with the door closing softly behind him.

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Grissom was adamant he was not going to be admitted.

His argument with the nurse merged with his testy argument with the intern on call which merged with his boisterous argument with the intern's supervising doctor which finally ended when Dr. Craig entered the room.

Grissom was pleased when the entire entourage was dismissed with a death glare and a wave of a hand.

His smug grin disappeared when he became the sole recipient of the physician's attention.

Tersely, the doctor began, "What IS it with you CSI's? You think you have indestructible bodies that will magically heal themselves? You think that we poor peons in the health care profession aren't capable of making decisions about the recuperative powers of supervised rest?"

Neither man blinked.

"Even you, Dr. Grissom, put lab specimens in incubators and wait a day or two for your experiments to yield some information. You obviously get the concept of _some things take time."_

Grissom averted his eyes and thought: _Yes, sadly I do, doctor…and lately I am aware that, in some matters, I am out of time…_

After a few more rounds, Gil reluctantly agreed to a compromise of sorts. He would not be admitted immediately, but would remain in the hospital building pending the outcome of his latest round of CT-scans and a follow-up examination to be conducted personally by Dr. Craig.

Having conceded these points, Grissom reluctantly agreed that the final decision on admission would be entirely in Dr. Craig's hands.

Satisfied that he had all the concessions he would likely get, Dr. Craig sat back a bit more relaxed.

"Now that we have that settled," he smiled a bit at Grissom, "Let me tell you that Sara's condition is stable. I have her on bed rest for the next day or two. After that, she can be released, but no work for a week."

Grissom was pleased she was doing well, yet his chest hurt when he responded, "Well, she was scheduled to have a month's leave starting at the end of next week, anyway…"

He gulped harshly, willing his emotions to retreat as he added, "She and Nick will be getting married in less than three weeks."

Dr. Craig remained silent for a moment.

He thought about his first meeting with Nick.

He thought about all his impressions of this work-weary gentleman before him.

He thought about Nick's heated reaction.

He thought about Grissom's obviously conflicting emotions about Sara's upcoming nuptials.

Was Grissom as concerned about Sara's safety, or…wait…there _was_ something more.

In an uncharacteristic move, he sat forward and looked into the eyes of a man he considered his peer in age, education, intelligence...and marital status.

Yes, he loved where his career had taken him, remembering all those whom he had been able to help.

Yes, he understood most poignantly how men like them could keep others at arm's length, especially that one person whom they could really care about.

He placed his hand on Grissom's arm, looked him square in the eye, and said softly,

"Well, you know what they say: "It's really not over 'til the fat lady sings'."

With that, he turned and left a stunned Grissom alone to ponder his next move.

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A little while later, Sara was awakened by the gentle touch of Brass' hand on hers.

"Hey, doll, "he whispered, "Can you wake up now? There's someone here who wants to see you."

Unable to open her eyes, Sara smiled softly.

_Oh, I'm so glad he's finally here. There's so much we have to talk about. Like..._

Those thoughts went up in smoke as Sara's eyes flew open at the sound of a woman's voice:

"Sara, dear. Oh my _heavens_!...what _have_ you done?...and with _less than three weeks_ before the wedding!"

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When Gil finally reached Sara's doorway, he stepped back so as not to be seen.

He smiled inwardly as he watched this unknown woman fussing over Sara – straightening her blankets, tidying her bed stand table, fidgeting with her pillows.

_This woman is definitely somebody's mother. Being raised in so many foster homes, I recall Sara telling me how she'd always envied people who had such loving parents to care for them. How Sara must be enjoying having someone to fuss over her!_

His smile soon vanished, however, as his proximity gave him an opportunity to hear a bit more of Lillian's "lecture".

"And imagine my _shock_ upon arriving at the airport to find my Nicky desperately informing me that you had been injured on the job…._again_! I guess we can't very well finish shopping for your honeymoon trousseau as we planned, now, can we?, what with you in this condition. And the honeymoon less than three weeks away!"

Sara closed her eyes. Whenever her future mother-in-law talked like this, it made things sound like a death sentence had just been handed down.

Lillian huffed on about Sara's need to stop taking foolish chances and to remember that she now had a responsibility towards Nick – one which included making _his_ happiness _her_ priority.

Grissom stood glued to the spot, knuckles whitening further as he observed Sara's mute posture.

_Why was Sara letting her get away with chastising her like that? Didn't the stupid woman realize I could have lost her today? I…I mean, _we_ could have lost her today?_

While the focus of his worry continued to lie quietly under the continued waves of stinging assaults, Grissom had decided _he_ had had quite enough.

Without a sideways glance, Grissom barreled into the room like a man on a mission. If Lillian Stokes didn't have such great reflexes, in retrospect Grissom would have realized she would have been knocked on her rear as he sped by.

Reaching her bedside, Gil leaned over until they were face-to-face, effectively blockading Lillian momentarily from getting anywhere near Sara.

He was so close, his soft breath warmed Sara's cheek which itself was on fire from trying to maintain her outward calm while once again reacting mentally to Lillian's never-ending tirade.

He smiled encouragingly before he whispered close enough for only Sara to hear, "Are you alright?"

Gil was surprised when Sara let go of her hold on the hospital blanket and grasped his hand softly.

"I am now…" she returned, her voice barely above a whisper.

She turned her weary gaze towards his concerned face, and when their eyes locked, something sparked inside Grissom.

Now, the protective side of Grissom is a marvel to behold. This usually unflappable personality becomes a warrior bent on taking on all comers, a valiant knight poised to do battle with those who would inflict harm, an immovable force willing to take the slings and arrows destined to bring down those needing sanctuary from abuse.

Ignited by Sara's trusting touch, Grissom whipped around and glared at the shocked woman who stood mere inches before him.

Gil Grissom was now in protective mode.

Glaring and still not speaking, Grissom continued to block this tyrant from maintaining eye contact with Sara.

Lillian Stokes was having a rare moment. She was speechless.

As Grissom continued to glare at her without making a sound, Lillian took, what was for those who knew her well, an unprecedented step.

She moved backwards, as if wishing to avoid antagonizing this madman, until she found herself near the doorway, a good distance away from Grissom and Sara.

Nick's mom was never known as a person who backed down from a confrontation.

But that was before she met her match in Gil Grissom.

As his icy blue eyes continued to maintain his death-glare on her immaculately groomed frame, Grissom maintained his watch near Sara's bed.

Attempting to regain some control of this escalating situation, Lillian began to stammer a bit.

"Um…Sara, dear…perhaps you could…introduce…this…gentleman…?"

If Sara were not so sore from her ordeal, she would have hooted and hollered at the site of Mrs. Lillian Stokes fumbling for control of a situation.

"Lillian Stokes, meet Gil Grissom, CSI graveshift supervisor."

Observing intently as Nick's mother ran the implications of this man's actions towards her son's fiancé, Sara boldly added, "And my friend."

If Gil were not so focused on bidding Mrs. Stokes the most perfunctory of acknowledgements while maintaining his guard over Sara, he might have smiled.

"Well, then," Lillian frowned in a way that made Sara sure Nick was going to hear all about this little tête-à-tête, "I guess I should be leaving you two _friends_ to enjoy your little visit."

"Perhaps an idea whose time has come," countered Grissom, and to make his point, he turned to the visitor's chair that Lillian had moved to the corner when she laid her purse and sweater on it.

Sweeping the chair in dramatic fashion towards Sara's bedside caused considerable pain in his bruised condition, but Grissom refused to let his facial features betray the discomfort.

Having moved as close to Sara as possible, he winked at her as he repositioned it as close to the raised head of Sara's bed while offering Lillian her belongings in a dismissal gesture of his outstretched hands.

Demurring only slightly, Lillian moved forward to accept her things as Grissom almost allowed them to drop to be sure she hurried over.

"Well, then," Lillian began again, eyes narrowly focused on Grissom who now had moved the chair so that he was seated with his back to the door thereby totally focused on Sara, "I guess I will see you later, Sara dear."

With one final attempt to regain some smattering of control of this situation, Lillian smiled and asked a bit too cheerily, "Is there anything I can get you _before I return_, dear?"

The intent of her final words laid bare the promise that the little matter of _Grissom vs. Stokes_ was far from settled.

Sara sighed imperceptibly as she looked at the manner in which Gil now held her bruised fingers within the shelter of his larger hands. "I have everything I need for now…thank you….Lillian."

Her eyebrows shot upward and her mouth was poised to reprimand Sara again for the use of her first name, when Gil cast her a warning glance over his shoulder.

Lillian thought better of that action, simply nodded, and let the door close softly behind her.

Grissom had just turned his gaze back to Sara when the door burst open again, with Lillian smilingly triumphantly. "I'll just let this open to allow for some fresh air in here, Sara, dear."

And with that final word, she was gone.

For a millisecond, there wasn't a sound in the room.

Then, with their characteristic mind-meld, both Sara and Grissom together burst forth into a fit of laughter.

Gil found himself standing stiffly and moving towards the door.

Sara was holding her sides to brace herself against the discomfort of her belly laughs.

"Do you…do you really think we should keep that closed? After all…we should allow for some fresh air in here," Sara mocked, still chuckling a bit at the memory of a flustered Lillian.

"You, Sara Sidle, are the _only_ breath of fresh air _anyone_ needs."

With that, Sara blushed and said quietly, "Oh, Gil…"


	5. Chapter 5

Psst...another late night, but your reviews were so wonderful, and the support for this story so terrific, I just didn't want you to wait until Monday...hope it pleases... -Kathy

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They sat content in each other's company, with Sara's eyes trained on Grissom's smiling face.

Try as she might, the pull of her need to sleep was winning the battle with her desire to bask in his proximity, as he rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand in soothing circles.

He recognized her dilemma and leaned forward into her personal space until she became practically cross-eyed when her eyelids reopened heavily.

He smiled _that_ smile, at once reassuring – and as Sara had always thought, incredibly sexy – and whispered softly, "Sleep, Sara. I promise you, I'm not going anywhere."

Sara started to protest, but Gil lifted his finger to her lips, allowing them to graze in a downward motion as his whole being riveted its attention on their inviting texture.

He steeled himself, removing his finger, and smiled weakly while continuing, "Shh…you need some sleep, Sara. Please, close your eyes for me and rest. It's what you need, honey."

_You….Grissom…you are what I need…have always needed…you… _Sara's thoughts carried her away from the pain of her injuries into a darker world where the silence brought healing.

Grissom sighed when he realized she was finally asleep. Though she no longer was aware of his comforting gesture, he nevertheless continued to rub the circles on the back of her hand – unwilling even now to break contact with this intriguing woman.

_But,_ he thought, _very soon I will have no choice_…

The lights of the city were just dimming when Grissom was stirred from his light slumber by the entrance of Dr. Craig. As he skimmed through Sara's chart, pleased that she had slept through most of the night, he glanced over at Gil.

He smiled to himself as he noticed their joined hands, and wondered if that might not have been the magical touch that allowed Sara such curative sleep.

" 'morning, Gil," he began and swung his stethoscope out to examine Gil's chest.

"Verdict?" Gil asked calmly, waiting for a final decision on whether he would be admitted.

"Leaning towards house arrest," grinned the doctor playfully. "One week off, at least…no heavy lifting…but," he sounded more authoritatively, "still waiting on one final test result. Yet," he placed a hand on Gil's shoulder, "it is looking promising."

Gil would be relieved to be out from under the doctor's care, so he could focus on Sara's recovery.

Suddenly, the door flew open and there stood Nick with an unreadable expression upon seeing Grissom seated so intimately with Sara.

Behind him appeared the smug countenance of Lillian Stokes.

Dr. Craig went into professional mode, greeting Nick and his mother with an admonishment to be as quiet as possible to allow Sara to continue her much needed rest.

"How long has she been asleep?" Nick asked, his reasons for the questions seemed double-edged.

With Nick waiting for his answer, Gil rubbed his free hand over his eyes before responding, "Since about eleven last night," knowing Lillian was already running back the mental tape to pinpoint the time of her departure.

Nick glanced quizzically over his shoulder at his mother who sighed and nodded.

He made a move towards Gil and Sara, fully expecting him to relinquish his seat, allowing Nick to get closer to Sara.

With one yard left to his destination, Grissom had not as yet budged out of his chair.

"_Ni_-cky?" queried his mother impatiently, ignoring the shushing gestures of the physician. She wanted him to kick Gil out in the same undignified manner he had suffered upon her.

Before she could say more, Sara stirred slightly and moaned softly.

All three men leaned towards her, with Dr. Craig muttering angrily under his breath at this stupid woman who had disturbed Sara's peaceful state.

Grissom stood, wanting nothing more than to ban them all from her room, to scoop her up giddily and run away together. _To live happily ever after_.

With every ounce of self-control, he instead squeezed her hand softly and backed away from her bedside, allowing Nick unlimited access.

Nick ran to her side, planting soft kisses on her forehead, cheek, lips, and neck while leaning over her and running his hands gently through her hair as Gil turned to look out at the new day dawning outside Sara's window.

In truth, he was unable to bear the sight, knowing what could have been his, remembering sadly how he had simply pushed away the only woman he would ever love.

Nick's touches were beginning to bother a disoriented Sara. Dr. Craig noticed how she tried to roll away from Nick, only to be held in place by Nick's strong arms.

When she whimpered and tried to speak, Nick kissed her soundly. He didn't care who was present in this room. Sara was going to be his wife, and he could love her anywhere, anytime as he saw fit.

Dr. Craig continued to watch Grissom. He could totally relate the pain this whole situation was causing him. _And they were so peaceful together…_

Brusquely interrupting Nick's little love fest, Dr. Craig extracted Sara from Nick's grasp after reminding him, _again_, that Sara's condition right now was very fragile and Nick needed to soften up his physical encounters with Sara's lithe frame.

Nick scowled at the doctor wordlessly. Where Sara was concerned, he wasn't really interested in listening to _anyone's _advice.

Using his exam as a cover to hastily formulate a plan, the doctor swallowed a grin as he stood up from his examination.

"She's still breathing alright, however I _am_ going to keep her for another night or two," the doctor spoke in a tone that refused attempts at debate.

"Ok, sure, whatever she needs," said Nick sincerely, and the physician could see there was worry mixed in with this young man's emotions.

"And I'll be _right here_ to be sure Sara gets back on her feet soon," Lillian postured, glancing at Grissom to be sure he got the message.

"Well…that _may _present some problems…" Doctor Craig began as a nurse entered the room with a chart marked with a STAT tag.

Perusing the contents, the doctor closed it and thanked the nurse. She was almost to the door when the doctor added,"Oh, and would you please take Mrs. Stokes to get some coffee in the lounge while we sort out some things?"

Lillian glared at all three men before twisting haughtily around and marching right past the poor nurse who had been on shift for all of fifteen minutes. " 'Gonna be a long day," she muttered as she closed the door to Sara's room.

Dr. Craig moved past Nick now seated at Sara's bedside and stood in front of Grissom.

"You remember about our…little agreement?" Craig started, in full blown doctor mode.

Gil's shoulders slumped. _Guess that's why I'm not a betting man._

With that, the doctor rang for the nurse, conferring privately with her as she came to doorway. Closing it behind her, he motioned for Grissom to follow him.

_It was time to say goodbye to Sara._

He knew things would be ok, as Dr. Craig was personally involved in her case.

He knew _she_ would be ok, as Nick would probably not leave her side.

But he knew _he_ would _not_ be ok, as he realized his heart was breaking with every step towards the door.

Not allowed even a final word in private, Gil glanced quickly in Sara's direction before steeling himself to follow the doctor out the door and into the first morning of his new life without even the fantasy of being with Sara.

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Grissom followed the silent Dr. Craig into the hallway, bristling when the doctor stopped at a storage closet to retrieve a wheelchair.

The two men stared challengingly across the device, but the physician was not to be deterred.

After a moment, Gil sighed and sat, agitated at the fact that on some level he was relieved to be seated; he had really been hurting as he walked down the corridor.

Being pushed towards the nurses' station, Grissom's mind was on overdrive. Shoulders slumped, he entertained himself by counting doorways as they wheeled by.

"One doorway farther, two doorways farther, three doorways farther, four doorways – farther away from…my Sara."

Dr. Craig was now preparing a chart and instructing nurses out of Grissom's earshot. Sitting alone gave him time to stoke the fire of concern about Sara.

Gil was glad she was so close to the nursing station. He knew they were giving her excellent care, but he worried because he also knew Sara would not let on if she were in pain.

Nick would be with her, however Gil couldn't help but notice that Nick worried more about what _he_ wanted rather than what Sara seemed to need. And he still worried about leaving her alone with Lillian.

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt his wheelchair being spun around and the momentum of the large wheels increase as Dr. Craig picked up the pace back down the corridor. The large elevator doors loomed in the distance.

Heart pounding, Gil was absently counting the doorways as they moved down the hall. He hoped they would slow a bit past the fourth doorway on his right, just enough for one final glimpse of her, just enough to assure himself that she was alright.

Just enough to say goodbye.

Doorway number three behind them, Grissom trained his gaze on Sara's doorway on his right.

He wished he could just be a fly on the wall, just be able to keep his eye on her even if _she_ couldn't see _him_.

Imagine his surprise when the doctor suddenly braked and turned the wheelchair expertly, entering the fourth doorway on his left.

Gil shook his head, wondering if he had just traveled through an alternate universe, where his thoughts became reality.

As the doctor moved them into the room, he spun the chair around before locking the brakes.

Gil stood shakily, his senses betraying a truth that his heart was having trouble accepting.

_He was going to get a bit more time before he had to say goodbye._

He now turned fully, staring at the doctor, experiencing a bond of friendship forming.

"My tests?" Gil asked, already suspecting the answer.

Dr. Craig shrugged. "Bed rest is bed rest. Besides, with your injuries, 24-hour observation is technically my prerogative," he winked.

Taking a more serious tone, he cautioned, "Don't overdo it, Gil. Take advantage of these visitors' hours to catch some sleep."

He winked again as he added, "You never know who might need some company later on."

For the first time, Gil realized that Craig was pulling for him and Sara.

Encouraged by his support, Gil slipped off his shoes and slid under the covers. A smile graced his face as his eyes closed, thinking of how good he had felt when he was holding Sara in his arms.

He was asleep in a heartbeat.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He hadn't realized how long he slept.

Forgetting momentarily where he was, the dark of his room was in stark contrast to the overhead fluorescents in the quiet hospital corridor.

His door was halfway open, and in the darkness a passerby might think the room was empty.

His bed had been shifted slightly, he noticed, so that he had a bird's eye view of Sara's open doorway.

Her room was dimly lit, but there was enough illumination to help him easily view her sleeping form.

He detected no movement.

_They had left her alone_, he thought angrily.

_I'm here, sweetheart…_

She was fast asleep, looking more peaceful than when he left her.

_Nick. It must a great comfort to her, having him here. _

_He's not afraid to show her exactly how he feels about her._

_I couldn't do it…and now…it really is too late._

Checking the time, he was surprised that it was almost 11:30. He had slept for over 12 hours.

He suspected that had to do as much with his pain medication as it did with his despair at losing any hope of living out the rest of his years in happiness…with Sara.

Gil wondered if Sara had slept the whole day away as well. He found himself wishing they could be cuddled together on some cushioned couch, snuggled happily, not talking, just – being together.

He sighed. The calming quiet settled around him.

The criminalist in him heard it first.

Begun as just a whimper, the sound soon escalated into arguing, then pleading, but…always a single voice.

He looked over to see Sara beginning to kick at her blankets.

_Nightmare._

Without conscious thought, Gil raised himself a bit painfully from his resting place and moved quickly towards her, never taking his eyes from her.

All the while willing her pain to disappear, he finally reached her bedside. Noticing the tears streaking down from closed eyelids, her face was wrinkled in unspoken screams.

Not wasting a moment, Gil was already clutching her hand, stroking her hair, and whispering into her ear.

Somewhere deep within her turmoil, Sara realized he was there.

He continued to soothe and mollify her fears; she reacted noticeably.

He moved to sit on the side of her bed; she instinctively rolled towards him.

He boldly raised his legs to recline totally next to her; she reached out in her turmoil to mold herself into the safety of his embrace.

He closed his eyes slowly at the warmth of her body in his arms and whispered, "Sara…"

She opened her eyes slowly as she realized he _was_ really there and whispered, "Oh, Gil…"


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: This chapter is much shorter than the last two, but it is being posted hastily for two reasons. 1) Those of you who are reading, or reviewing, or both, are so wonderfully supportive, I wanted to post one more chapter this weekend, (as jenstog hinted, it is hard to refuse you when you all ask so nicely), and 2) as this story is just getting off the ground and I felt the plot needed to move forward now. Hope it pleases. You remain great –Kathy

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They snuggled close together, a restful slumber reclaiming both of them.

Gil became aware of a soft hand gripping his shoulder delicately. Without moving a muscle, his eyes flung open and glared into the concerned face of the night nurse supervisor.

"Is she doing alright?" she asked almost silently. She didn't want to wake Sara who obviously needed her rest, but was concerned that Gil was holding her in such a protective embrace, while the covers had obviously been thrashed about.

"Nightmare," he mouthed, and she shook her head sympathetically.

"Dr. Craig wanted me to redress your chest wounds during the night. Shift is over in an hour or two. Do you think you can slip out to your room for a while and let me tend to it?"

Gil nodded cooperatively, knowing he owed Dr. Craig a great deal for this extra time with Sara.

He shushed her almost imperceptible moans as he slid her away from him with the nurse's help.

The two managed to get to the door before Gil stopped and turned once more to be sure Sara was alright.

_Wish I had a man who loved me like that_, the nurse thought.

Slipping across the hall, he was surprised at the number of workers, nurses, and doctors who were roaming the nurses' station, hallways, and elevators in these predawn hours. The activity created little noise, and Grissom was somehow comforted that the staff had remembered to check on Sara.

It took under a half hour to finish redressing Gil's wounds which were now less bloody and more painful to the touch.

Initially, he refused the pain medication. The nursing supervisor reminded him that if he ingested a low dose at regular intervals, overall he would require a lower dose for a shorter amount of time.

Seeing the truth in her statement, Gil agreed to the lower dose. While the nurse went to fetch his medication, he decided to lay back on his pillow for just a moment while he waited for her to return.

Two hours later, he startled himself awake as his ribs told him he had failed to take the medication. He sat up and saw the medicine cup containing one pill and a glass of water on his bedside table.

Gil abruptly stood up cursing. He had left her all alone, selfishly resting while Sara may have needed him.

Gil rolled out of bed, sitting on the edge to make short work of swallowing the medication. His sore legs propelled him towards his doorway when the scene in front of him caused him to halt in horror.

There, just inside the shadows of Sara's dimly lit room, was the shadow of a tall man edging himself closer to the front of Sara's bed.

This intruder wore an overcoat, and his hands were covered in gloves.

Gil watched, unable to move, trying to make sense of it all.

When the stranger moved to the side of her bed and started to reach for her covers, Gil no longer felt immobile.

"HEY!" he yelled from across the hall, causing the stranger to stop and dart his eyes around the area, searching for the disembodied voice.

Instantaneously, the voice and the body appeared.

The sight of a swiftly moving, angry Grissom is powerful enough to bring grown men to their knees.

But the tiny sound of an almost alert Sara carried even more power, enough to bring a steamrolling Grissom to a halt.

"Dad?"

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Grissom froze in his tracks, forgetting the unknown figure and concentrating on Sara.

Had she gone into shock?

She had told him that her mother had killed her father.

_What is going on here?_

Gil was about to ask this question when Sara spoke a bit stronger to the now-smiling gentleman.

"Dad? Is that really you?"

The tall man moved forward to grab Sara's blankets. Pulling and smoothing them out like any father would do to their young child, Judge Stokes finished tucking Sara in before leaning in to place a small peck on her forehead.

"Well, you wouldn't expect me to just stay at home while my favorite girl was in hospital, now, would you?"

Grissom watched as Sara melted under the adoring gaze of Nick's father.

In Judge Stokes' world, all his five children were his "favorites". Now, mind you, none were "favored" over the other, but if you were to ask them, each would tell you they were their father's "favorite".

When Sara had agreed to marry Nick, she became another of his "favorite girls".

Watching as they spoke little, but with great feeling, Grissom began to feel an uncomfortable pressure in his chest, in the vicinity of his heart.

"_Look at her. Lapping up the attention from her future father-in-law. This is part of the family Sara never had." _He sighed.

"_This man….really loves her…and who wouldn't...she is everything to me…but what do I have to offer her?"_

"_Nick can offer her a loving home…a family who will adore her…and she would be…happy…"_

These thoughts made him pause.

"_Do I take her away from everything she has ever wanted for my own selfish needs?"_

Gil's heart was shattering so loudly that he initially failed to hear Sara introduce Nick's dad.

Realizing the man had his hand extended towards him, he recouped and gripped it firmly before lying outright, saying "It's good to meet you, Judge."

"It's Logan, please, Dr. Grissom," the man asked amiably.

"Oh, please…_Logan_, Gil is fine," replied Grissom, immediately taken by the man's easygoing manner.

_No wonder Sara appeared so at ease with him. She can spot a phony a mile away. But this guy seems genuine…_

"Now, young lady," Logan began in earnest, pulling up the chair closer to her head and taking her by the hand.

"Start at the beginning and tell me every detail of how you wound up in this nasty place," he continued, recalling Sara's comment from an earlier conversation on illness and hospitals.

Sara complied, proudly reporting on Gil's lifesaving decisions, and subsequent injuries.

Logan Stokes sat silently for a moment. When he rose, Sara's eyes followed him as he approached the area where Gil was standing.

Grissom was taken a bit aback as he looked the judge squarely in the eye – and found that eye thick with emotion.

"I shall never forget this, sir. Sara is now a most important member of this family. You have saved one of our own. We are forever in your debt."

Confused, Grissom could only nod and watch as the judge reclaimed his seat, and laced his fingers through her tired ones.

"Sleep now, darlin'" the judge spoke, sounding eerily like Nick.

Just then, Dr. Craig appeared in the doorway. Taking in the scene, he raised his eyebrows at Gil, hoping to find an answer there on his somewhat shocked expression.

After introductions and a cursory exam, Dr. Craig forced Gil to return to his room for a thorough exam, leaving a smiling Sara to visit with this obviously beloved man.

Concluding his exam, Craig sat down in a nearby chair and asked to hear the story.

A brief summation made, silence followed.

Each man lost in his own thoughts, yet sharing identical thoughts. _Is it really too late?_

Craig asked hesitantly, "So, what are you going to do, Gil?"

Gil responded immediately, "Nothing. I am going to do nothing."

The doctor snapped his head up to glare at Gil, "And...that's that?"

Gil did not answer right away. He slid off the bed to his feet, resignation oozing from every pore.

The doctor pressed on. "Did you…at least…tell her how you feel…let _her _make the choice?"

Grissom stood up facing the doctor.

"_What _choice?" he said heatedly. "What do I have to offer her? A life with a workaholic, self-centered bastard of a boss who has hurt her because he couldn't get his head out of the sand? Who hurt her time and time again when he pushed her away because he was too much of a coward to admit he loves her?"

When no response was forthcoming, Gil continued almost as if he couldn't stop the pain from rolling off him in waves.

"Sara has a chance at being part of a _real _family, who will adore her, and _real _parents who make her the center of their universe."

"Nick is young and vibrant, like her. They will have a load of kids together and they will laugh and be happy and…" he couldn't continue.

Sighing deeply to regain control, he finished quietly, "And as much as I love her…I have to let her go…no matter how much I love her…"

He raised his eyes to meet the concern in the eyes of his physician friend.

"…because I love her that much…I want her to be happy…even if it isn't with me…"

Another silent pause was ended with the polite cough coming from the doorway.

Both men twisted wildly towards the unexpected confusion.

Logan Stokes just stood there, unspeaking for a moment. He couldn't seem to take his eyes off Grissom.

After a full moment, he spoke softly to simply state, "Gil, Sara's looking for you."

_No! Had he heard everything? _Gil worried. _Please…don't say anything to Sara._

Things began changing slowly.

Logan moved back into Sara's room, choosing this time to stand by his carryon hastily discarded by the closet door.

This action left the chair alongside Sara's pillow empty and waiting for a hesitant Grissom.

As she lifted her eyes to meet his, he became lost in her.

This scene prompted the judge to inquire about an update on Sara's condition "…_outside, please, doctor_."

Once she made him promise not to be long, Sara watched Logan leave before turning her loving gaze back to Grissom.

Only she was met with a look that told her Gil had replaced his openness and sincerity with a familiar, and unwelcome, mask of indifference.

She reached for his hand, but he failed to produce it.

She searched for the right words to bring him back to her, but her mind wouldn't cooperate.

She watched her true love fade away from her, right before her eyes.

She was powerless to do anything to stop him, anything at all.

The only thing she could do was shut her eyes against the familiar pain of his rejection, and inwardly wail, "Oh, Gil…"


	7. Chapter 7

Just a short, but I feel important, chapter as a Happy Mother's Day gift to all those who support this story. A longer update by midweek. Hope it pleases! You remain great! -Kathy

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Sara found herself moving quickly from the height of her joy, plummeting headfirst into the depths of despair.

When Logan reappeared, it was obvious to him that the dynamics in this room had altered considerably.

Years on the bench had made Judge Stokes somewhat of an expert reader of body language.

And these two were telling a heart wrenching story.

Deciding the tension was not good for Sara's emotional state, the judge was just about to speak from his corner when the activity in the doorway demanded everyone's attention.

"I believe you're in my seat," Nick began as way of introduction, glaring at Grissom and wondering what he was still doing here at this early hour.

"I believe you are no longer needed here," Lillian dripped sarcastically, venom oozing from every pore.

"I…I _was_ just leaving," Grissom said tersely as he ignored Nick's approach and sent death glares towards Lillian.

"And _that_ would be for the best…for _all_ concerned," a triumphant Mrs. Stokes countered. "Sara _obviously_ won't be needing _your_ help any longer, _Doctor_ Grissom -"

"Ah, Lil – but sometimes what you will _need _and what you will _have_ are _definitely _two different things, my dear," spoke a bemused Judge Stokes.

His entry into the conversation caused Nick to spin around and Lillian to almost sprain her violently twisted neck muscles.

"L-Logan…when?…how?..."

The judge laughed aloud at the sight of his usually over-talkative wife at a loss for words.

"Dad –" Nick sputtered, a bit ashamed that his father caught him treating Grissom in such a fashion.

"As I said, I was just on my way," Gil spoke as he moved towards the doorway. He found Logan Stokes' tall frame running interference.

"Oh, Gil, stay a while, set a spell," the father issued in such a way as they all next expected to hear a bailiff's cry and a gavel's pound.

Motioning for Gil to return to his previous position, the CSI supervisor found himself obeying without thought.

_He's just always in charge, without raising a hand…in all our time in their company, I have seen Lillian go red-faced but Dad has never _once_ raised his voice. He's such a great father…_Sara mused, trying to take in what was transpiring in front of her.

It was not the first time she had thoughts comparing Logan to her own abusive father.

Nick moved to the other side of Sara's bed, as she now lay facing slightly in that direction, her back almost turned from Gil's position.

Somehow, Nick found that comforting.

He kissed Sara lightly and held her hand, but downplayed his actions of the previous day, not wanting to face the glare of his father who disapproved of messy public displays of affection.

Lillian, however, had not moved from the spot where she stood, dumbfounded.

Chuckling lightly, her husband moved towards her and lay a benign kiss on her temple.

"Sorry for the fright, Lil. I was able to catch up with Charlie Dean, who loaned me his Cessna and pilot. I didn't want to wake you, as we left after midnight. I arrived only a short time ago," he continued, answering her unspoken questions.

He turned his attention towards Sara and grinned, bringing out that special smile Gil had previously felt was for him alone.

"Sorry for not letting you in on my impromptu plans," he spoke to Lillian but kept is eyes locked on Sara, "but I just had to see with my own eyes that this one was alright."

Without moving his head an inch, his gaze whipped around to Grissom, "And I found out that she was in excellent hands."

Gil didn't know quite what to make of that comment. _Had_ the judge overheard his conversation with Craig?

_If he had, wouldn't he have made ever effort to keep him and Sara apart?_

_If he hadn't, wouldn't he have wondered why Gil was so attentive to her?_

Before he could ponder these questions further, the judge continued to speak to this incredulous group.

"Well, since no one seems to need the floor, I have an announcement for all of you," Logan spoke as he moved directly in front of Lillian, suppressing the desire to lift his hand to her face and close her still drop-jawed mouth.

"In speaking with Dr. Craig, I have come to understand that Gil and Sara are in need of supervised convalescence for the next week or so," he began.

Still getting no reaction, he smiled at their rapt attention and continued, "…with that in mind, I am personally taking charge of their little vacation. I have asked Dr. Craig to write out his orders and we will all be returning to the ranch by evening."

Still getting no reaction, Logan sighed and spoke a bit more evenly, "With the wedding less than three weeks away, I think the ranch will be a perfect place for Sara and Gil to relax before the big day."

It was not lost on Grissom that if anyone was walking by this room, they would think that Sara was preparing to marry _him_.

"Nick and Sara had planned to come down at the end of the week anyway, so Nick can stay here and finish up as planned, while Sara can return and be waited on like our little duchess," Logan said.

His use of that endearment forced Lillian out of her stupor. She glared at Logan.

Sara noted that for a heartbeat, Dad looked crestfallen – or maybe he looked as if he were angry with himself for letting his private thoughts become public - but just as quickly averted his eyes from his fuming wife's intense gaze and regrouped.

"Gil would be traveling down soon with the rest of the wedding party anyway, so I see no need for him to recuperate alone," he continued, refusing to acknowledge his awareness of the intensity of his wife's glare.

"_That man_ would best be left to lick his wounds in private," she snarled as her heated glare moved from her husband to the target of her anger.

"_That_ will be _enough_, Lillian!" Logan shouted, moving into her personal space.

Nick just stared open-mouthed. He had never heard his father speak so harshly in answer to one of his mother's usual tirades.

Logan closed his eyes and turned away from this woman who could try the patience of a saint.

He moved towards Gil and directed his next comments to both Grissom and Sara.

They both looked at him as he spoke authoritatively. "This matter is settled. We will leave from the airport this evening, at your convenience." Finishing his statement, he smiled at them, but the emotion his lips portrayed did not quite reach his eyes.

Turning abruptly, he moved towards the door and snagged Lillian's elbow on the way.

Without missing a step, he ushered them both out of the room.

At the doorstep, he spoke to Nick without turning his head, "Nicholas, please bring my bag."

And, as his upbringing has programmed him, Nick turned without comment and followed them out the door, his father's carry-on in hand.

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Alone again, Gil was still in shock at what had just transpired before him.

Coming out of his musings, he turned hesitantly towards Sara, his heart hurting to see her turning away from him, clutching herself protectively while trying to hide her silent tears.

Without thought, he rose and wrapped her securely in his arms. "Sara?"

The sound of this man caressing her with the sound of her name, spoken so reverently, was her undoing.

She turned and clung to him as if he would disappear if she released him, refusing to look at him but quietly sobbing, "Oh, Gil…"


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I can only say that this chapter was _not _the one I intended to write tonight. These characters just started opening up to me and I found their story intriguing. Thanks for your support of this story, particularly to those who take the time to review. Hope this pleases. –Kathy

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He sat there in the shadows of the departing daylight, just watching her sleep.

In no apparent hurry, Logan sat there fighting off the demons of his past.

Every once in a while, Sara would stir and release him from the dungeon of his memories.

The medication Dr. Craig had prescribed had a slight sedative effect, causing Sara to lose her battle with consciousness.

Logan couldn't help but smile again at the sight of her curly locks splayed across her hospital pillow.

_So peaceful…but it is not more than a small respite from all she's dealing with now._

This thought made him grimace. After all, it had been his lapse in self-control that caused her to break down, requiring additional medication to calm her.

At first, Sara had refused – arguing with the doctor that she was _fine_ and just needed to get out of this hospital bed.

But Gil had insisted that she listen to Craig, all the while clutching her hand as if she were an angel who might simply choose to float away from this painful encounter.

Logan recalled stepping back into this room after ridding himself of Lillian's annoying presence, having directed Nick to accompany his mother back to her hotel ostensibly to help her pack up and check out.

In reality, he just needed a bit of space from the woman to whom he had reluctantly pledged his troth those many years ago.

He closed his eyes and the drama played out before his tired eyes, the events as fresh as if they were occurring here and now.

_Logan had met the true love of his life in high school. Being from an affluent family, he attended the best private schools in the area._

_He met Anna the first day the Russian exchange student entered the high school cafeteria, and he became totally smitten with her instantly._

_Her long, sienna brown tresses curled softly, despite her apparent attempts to straighten them to fit into the American style so prevalent in the early 60's._

_When she laughed, the depths of her large brown eyes could trap you into their beautiful pools until you thought surely you would drown._

_Logan could think of no better way to go._

_A popular senior track star, honor student, as well as a school ambassador, he called in some favors and soon was assigned the coveted post of being Anna's in-school guide._

_They took all their classes together, and soon became inseparable. Logan's large group of friends welcomed Anna with open arms. _

_She was a caring, selfless, and truly gentle soul, and their friends noticed that she had brought Logan out of his self-imposed social isolation. They noticed a change in Logan, in his relationships with others, which made them happy for their friend._

_After an English class field trip to see a special showing of the film "Anastasia" starring Ingrid Bergman, their friends began to refer to Anna as "The Duchess", with Logan's friends insisting that "Duke" was too regal for a simple guy like him. Instead, he was given the moniker "Dutch"; hence they became the "Dutch and Duchess"._

_It wasn't long before Logan spent all his available free time with Anna. His family enjoyed Anna's company and soon treated her like one of the Stokes clan._

_The night of the Senior Prom, Logan nervously had professed his love for Anna, and delighted in the fact that she returned the sentiment._

_With youthful exuberance, they talked for hours while making plans for their picture perfect future. Although they wanted to marry right away, Logan knew his family would have sound objections due to their age._

_Anna had laughed and told him not to cancel any of his family's plans for his college and his career._

_  
"We have all the time in the world," she had smiled, adding, "I'm not going anywhere…"_

_But the truth is, their time was running out._

_Anna had applied to extend her student visa, hoping to join Logan at college, but was denied._

_The political situation in Russia was reaching critical, and exchange students were being ordered to return for their "own safety"._

_Graduation Day was a bittersweet experience for both of these star-crossed lovers, as they knew their days together would soon end._

_Two weeks before her departure, they had strolled down to the stables enjoying each other's company under the brilliant staging of a Blue Moon. _

_With promises of undying devotion, they lay together that clear June night and consummated their love._

_Anna's departure was a nightmare of despairing looks and physically painful separation._

_As he watched her plane ascend, Logan felt as if his heart had been torn from his chest._

_43 years later, a hot tear trickles down a tired old man's cheek at the memory._

_And then, there was the matter of _Lillian_._

_Her family had arranged their introduction, and while they attended the same undergraduate college and spent time in the company of mutual friends, Logan had never particularly felt more than a deep friendship with Lillian._

_His correspondence with Anna had continued faithfully until his junior year of college, with Logan making frantic efforts to contact her even after the news that her village was quarantined in the political upheaval of the 1970's._

_Communication became more erratic, his patience strained until finally some of his letters were beginning to be returned._

_His sadness overwhelmed him, and in a moment of weakness (caused in part by Lillian's "arranging" for them to party alone at her family's summer house that night) Logan sought comfort in Lillian's arms._

_She reveled in the fact that he had made love to her. For the times, this was as good as a pledge of pre-engagement. She publicly touted them as a couple, and soon their families made assumptions about their nuptials._

_An honorable man, he continued to play along with her charade. _

_After all, he had once held the one true love of his life. _

_Perhaps, that was enough for one lifetime._

_And now, he was without her, an empty shell where a lover's heart had once beat._

_Lillian Smythe was a real looker, or so his friends continued to whisper as she walked by._

_She had been a good friend, was head-over-heels in love with him, was very well connected, and was definitely an asset to any man with political aspirations._

_As his graduation from law school loomed in the near future, his family had pushed the issue._

_So that Christmas, he proposed under the mistletoe – and hugged her tightly when she accepted, so as to hide the errant tear which threatened to fall from his eyes despite his squeezing them tightly shut. When he reopened his eyes to look at his fiancée, the mask of resignation was fitted permanently in place._

_Alone in the wee hours of that morning, it was the last time he had thought about Anna, packaging the memories of their love and storing them away until the next lifetime, when he was hopeful they would have another chance at happiness._

_What Logan did not know at that time was that for the last year, Anna _had_ been attempting to contact him. Her correspondences had been secreted away by Logan's older sister who had been Lillian's best friend._

_Lillian was aware of the letters, yet hoped to snag Logan in marriage before Anna made an unexpected entrance. She had thought of everything._

_Everything except the phone call._

Logan opened his eyes as he heard Sara's soft voice whisper, "Dad?"

He looked over at this young woman, who could easily have been their love child. She resembled Anna in many physical respects, but also in other ways - not the least of which was her caring spirit, her determination, and …her vulnerability.

"Hey, duch-…Sara," he smiled, deepening his breath trying to regain the sinus rhythm of a troubled heart.

Sara looked away before continuing, "I…I…am…_so_ sorry…" she began but needed to pause. She didn't want him to see her tears.

Logan looked at Sara in amazement.

_One of the perks of being on the bench is that unlimited resources are available to you that are not at the disposal of the general public._

_  
So, when Nick began dating this CSI, Logan did what any normal father with an FBI database password would do._

_He did a background check._

_Logan Stokes knew all about Sara's past._

_Requesting a transcript of Laura Sidle's trial, he remembered his initial dismay – then outrage – at viewing the photographs taken of a nine-year-old Sara._

_He read with disgust the social worker's file documenting the physical abuse she had suffered at the hands of this madman._

_Logan was overcome with nausea at the findings that she had probably been sexually molested since she turned six._

_He recalled flinging the report on the floor and bolting out of his chair to pace in front of his chamber's bookcase. He had needed to remind himself that sometimes the law fails to protect its most innocent ones._

_The judge returned to his desk to read the rest of the file. He remembered his amazement at what this spunky foster child had subsequently done with her life to channel her hurt, resentment, and anger._

_So weeks later, during their visit, when Sara told them her parents had died and she had been raised by a now-deceased aunt, Logan kept his knowledge to himself._

__

_Yes, this was a person he could welcome into his son's life. Here was someone who would embrace the concept of family – which Anna had shown Logan was _the _most important thing in life._

Again, Sara spoke, "I am really so sorry, judge…I didn't mean for you to get so angry at Mrs…Lillian…on my account."

_All she is dealing with, and she is more worried about that often-insensitive wife of mine._

Logan smiled his most reassuring smile and took Sara's hand.

"No, darlin', I am the one who lost my temper…let's just chalk it up to jetlag…after all, I did red-eye the flight to get to you _as fast as I could_, "he emphasized as he would if talking to an insecure teen.

Sara smiled at this. No one had ever taken the time to make her feel like she was the center of their world.

She had missed out on so much, not having a loving family.

Sara sighed as she realized that, while she might be giving up on her dream of marrying her knight in shining armor, she would be saying yes to a real, functioning, loving, caring family.

And Logan Stokes would be her "Dad".

The thought warmed her, even though her heart fought with her mind over whether the price was too high.

"Tell you what, princess, let's see about getting you out of here so we can head back to the ranch."

She flashed him a tired, but hearty smile and shifted herself to sit up in bed.

Within the half-hour, Sara was inspected head-to-toe one final time by Dr. Craig before he reluctantly released her to Logan's care.

One final discharge instruction brought Logan to type in Dr. Craig's direct cell phone number, with instructions for him to use it any time if there were concerns about Gil's or Sara's condition.

Dr. Craig moved towards Sara as she stood in the doorway, anxious to leave the confines of this hospital building.

Taking her hands in his, she looked into his eyes as he wished her the best of luck in finding her heart's "true" desire.

With that he left, leaving a slightly puzzled Sara to stare after him for a long moment before following Logan to their waiting car.

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Once at the airport, Gil had to wait with Nick and Lillian in the departure lounge. It was not as much awkward as it was – well – okay, it was _very _awkward.

Grissom busied himself with his crossword puzzle, aware at each moment that Lillian intended to just sit and glare at him from across the small room.

Nick was speaking on his cell phone, trying unsuccessfully to broker some additional leave before the wedding, only to be told again that shift was short-handed and he would be lucky if they didn't cancel his scheduled time-off altogether.

Ending the call civilly, Nick slammed the lid and jammed the device into his pocket.

_Ten days_. He was going to be stuck in Vegas…without Sara…while she was in Texas…on the family ranch…with Grissom…for _ten days_…

Nick had to be strong, not to alarm his mother. He had been distracted by the parental argument that had occurred earlier and didn't want to fan those flames.

He just needed to get out of there, to regroup before he met up with Sara one last time before she flew an hour away from him. _For ten days_…

As he left, Gil became uncomfortably aware that he was alone…with Lillian.

He buried himself deeper into the crossword puzzle.

Set to pounce on him, Lillian stood and moved closer to the door. Her intention had been to lock it so she could have a "private word" with Grissom.

Looking through the mini-blinds on the small window, however, she spotted Logan's car drive up and stop short of the sidewalk.

Shrugging her shoulders to regain her composure, Lillian was still a little shell-shocked from her encounter with Logan.

_All these years…and I have only one memory of him losing his temper with me to _that_ degree…_

She shrugged her shoulders again and mentally prepared herself to present a totally conciliatory posture.

It would take a while, but she _would_ regain the upper hand in this relationship.

For the next few days, she would promise Logan to retreat from any confrontations with Grissom.

The thought made her smile.

_However_, she _was_ the lady of the house. The servants were used to doing her bidding while Logan was at work.

There were, after all, plenty of strategies she could employ to keep Gil far away from Sara until after she and Nicky were married.

As her hand reached for the doorknob, Lillian's smirk blossomed into a full-blown smile.

_After all…The Plan worked before…_


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Nick arrives in ten days. The countdown begins! I am having fun with this story. Those reviewers who want some GSR action will be rewarded for their patience in just another day or two. But as much as I am loving playing with these characters, I promise you this plot is moving with some twists and turns ahead. Thanks to all the faithful reviewers and those who just support the story by reading. I laughed right along with Sara at the end. Hope you will too! –Kathy

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Upon hearing his father's car slowing in front of the hangar, Nick ended his phone call and was alongside the car before Sara's door even opened.

He pulled her out of the car and up into his crushing embrace before she even had a chance to stabilize her feet on the ground. She found herself off-balance, falling clumsily into his embrace.

Nick interpreted that to mean she was clinging to him in desperation over their impending separation.

"Now, now, darlin', it'll be alright," he cooed, and action that found Sara inwardly rolling her eyes.

Having been raised in the system, Sara had definite ideas of what constituted _romance_ and what emptily demonstrated itself as _schmaltz_.

And Nicky was becoming very _schmaltzy_ lately.

_What am I thinking? We're being married in less than three weeks! Perhaps getting away from each other for these ten days will actually be a good thing, will help me get this relationship back into perspective…because right now he is really starting to _irritate_ me._

Not being a mind reader, however, Nick continued with his cooing and wooing until finally Sara wanted to scream.

Instead, she looked over Nick's shoulder and locked eyes with Grissom.

To the casual observer, he was doing nothing more than standing there taking in the scene.

But Sara was not a casual observer.

She could spot the longing in his eyes, not predatory longing but the kind of emotion you express when you see a balloon wrenched from your grasp – you know it once belonged to you but you are unable to hold onto it.

So you find yourself forced to watch it departing slowly until it is finally and totally out of your reach.

And as she was being cuddled and romanced by her fiancé, Sara's gaze and concern both centered on this enigma of a man who had stolen her heart years ago.

Unfortunately Sara was not the only less-than-casual observer in the room.

Lillian's blood boiled as she witnessed this otherwise unnoticed exchange. She was fuming.

_He may have to be underfoot, but I am going to make damned sure he is kept away from my Nicky's wife-to-be!_

Logan, unaware that all that had taken place in a heartbeat, coughed roughly in a manner to relate to Nick that he needed to release Sara.

Stating that the pilot wanted to get ahead of the next storm system, he enjoined the travelers to board the plane.

Shaking Grissom's hand a bit tighter than necessary, Nick reminded him to take it easy, "…because we don't want ya too tired to be giving Sara away."

He smiled inwardly as he caught a moment of emotion pass through Grissom's eyes.

Kissing his mother, Nick reminded her conspiratorially to "…take care of things until I get home."

Turning to Sara, he was confused to find her already on board. During his farewell conversation with his mother, Logan had led Sara into the aircraft and was gesturing to Grissom to sit next to her.

"Just in case she needs something," smiled Logan innocently.

Nick took the stairs two at a time. Once inside the plane, he found his access to Sara's seat- belted form blocked by the narrow aisles – and the impenetrable barrier of Gil Grissom's protective stance.

Gil knew he was being childish, but soon Nick would have her all to himself – so he claimed the right to be a little territorial…even if it was for the last time.

About to speak, Nick was cut off by a large hand on his shoulder. Still seething from his inability to get anywhere near Sara, his body relaxed immediately as he stared into the smiling eyes of his father.

"Sorry, son, but it's time to go," Logan said, calling quickly, "Sara, dear…wave goodbye to Nick now, will you?"

"Bye, Nick! I'll call you when we land," Sara said, unintentionally forgetting what would have been an extremely appropriate time to say I LOVE YOU.

This point was not unnoticed by Nick …or Grissom.

Their eyes met, dueled, and then…Nick went to the mats.

Round one – match point, Grissom.

As the plane lifted off from the tarmac, Nick couldn't help but sit there and worry that Sara would be alright for the next ten days.

As the plane cleared the runway, Logan couldn't help but sit there and reminisce about the day Anna left.

His father's heart ached for how Nick must be feeling now, mentally reviewing the picture of his son staring out as their plane departed.

As the plane cleared the runway, Sara absently grasped for her seat handle. Take-offs always made her feel disoriented. Gil covered her white knuckles with his gentle touch, leaning his head sideways to chide her teasingly in what could only be described as loving tones.

As the plane cleared the runway, Lillian turned her attention from her Nicky left all alone. She trained her eye on the back of Grissom's head, and intended to keep an eye on this troublemaker until they landed.

Logan caught this action, shook his head imperceptibly as he sighed softly, and then diverted his eyes to the tops of the clouds lingering nearby.

For the first time in years, he allowed himself a moment to wonder what Anna was doing today.

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COUNTDOWN: DAY 10

Settled into the large hacienda on the ranch, Lillian was in her element, barking orders and generally making the house staff's lives slightly insane.

Sara had been shown to Nick's room in the south wing of the expansive home. Lillian told her this room was better than the guest room she had stayed in before because Sara would be "surrounded by Nick's things, to help make their separation easier."

Grissom's things had been shown to his airy guest room – on the _north_ side of the home. Lillian had sequestered him there in an attempt to keep him as far away from Sara as possible. However, she told Gil that the location was "perfect for convalescence, quiet and private."

Both Gil and Sara had the same reactions when they had spoken separately to Lillian as she led them to their rooms.

Not for the first time, she wondered if they had some kind of mind meld, as they had used the same body postures and essentially the same response – a sort of flippant double-entrendre response.

Sara had been exhausted from her travel, and slept through dinner.

Gil had done the same.

Much later, Sara awoke and realized she was shivering.

Alone under the covers, she wished she could talk to Grissom; just the sound of his voice always made her feel _safe_ somehow.

How _was_ she feeling, exactly?

For the first time in a while, Sara admitted to herself that she was unnerved from the bad dreams that had plagued her rest.

Not nightmares, exactly, but more like those terrors filled with frantic, fruitless searches for something she had misplaced.

She could only remember her empty arms, straining for …what was it?...that was just out of reach.

She could only remember pleading…begging…don't go…don't…wait!...

She was slightly panicked at realizing her heart now was pounding in her ears.

Sara was whispering to herself slightly, trying to calm herself using all the self-calming techniques that had worked in the past.

She panicked more when she realized they weren't working.

Trying to avert a full-blown panic attack, she tried to fling her long legs out of bed and move to the connecting bathroom.

Forgetting her injuries had weakened her, Sara felt dizzy and slumped painfully to the floor. A slight shriek emitted from her clenched teeth. She had badly grazed her severely bruised areas as she hit the hardwood floors.

In what seemed like an instant, Lillian and one of her servants were bounding into Sara's room to assist her.

_Well, if nothing else, ole Lil has great timing!_ she thought, unaware that there was a very practical reason Lillian knew Sara was hurt.

Helping her up, Sara brushed off their fussing, insisting that she was fine and only in need of some refreshment.

Lillian absolutely refused to allow Sara to leave the room, ordering her servant to get Sara back in bed while she would see to having a tray brought up for her.

Sara, although furious at being held a prisoner in these spacious quarters, had to concede that she was too tired to take on ole Lil tonight.

Emma Anne plumped Sara's pillows and did her best to secure her comfortably in bed, without raising her eyes.

Sara noted the girl's posture. She was not much younger than Sara, but obviously knew her _place_, a line she would not cross if she expected to remain in Lillian's employ.

Sara, however, had other ideas.

Speaking softly, Sara asked, "How long do I have before ole Lil returns?"

The servant's eyes twisted around in horror, worried that Lillian would have overheard.

"Don't worry, Emma Anne, she can't hear us!" Sara smiled, but the look on Emma's face caused her confident smile to lose some of its luster.

"She can't…can she?" Sara asked, less confidently.

Before she could gain an answer, Sara's phone rang. Emma Anne's eyes widened, and she just glared at Sara.

Sara continued to be eye locked with her as she answered her cell.

In response to the other party, Sara smiled and said in a very personal tone, "Hey…I was just sitting here wondering what you were up to right about now!"

Before she had a chance to respond to the next statement out of her caller's mouth, Lillian was standing in her partially closed doorway.

The best Sara can remember is Lillian flinging open the door with a curious expression on her face.

Almost red-faced, she pounded over to Sara's side and demanded, "And just WHO are you speaking to? You know, Sara dear, that you need to conserve your strength. Perhaps _I _should be the one to explain this to your gentleman caller?"

Emma Anne grimaced. She had witnessed this scene played out in other venues over the last ten years. Lillian always kept tight tabs on her daughter's callers. She always told them she did not expect any of her daughters to shame her by becoming an unwed mother.

Emma Anne looked away, remembering how the four girls had joined together to find various ways to sneak out after hours without Lillian knowing.

Emma Anne liked this Sara girl. She had spunk, and wasn't afraid to stand up to Lillian. Yes, she could see why Mr. Stokes adored her.

_Perhaps I might just have to have a private chat with her._

By this time, Sara was so angry her hair hurt.

And if Lillian didn't back off soon, that wouldn't be the only thing that would hurt around here….

However, Sara decided to take the high road and simply cooed into her cell phone, "Nick, I think your mother wants to talk to you…" as she handed the phone over, accompanied by a Sidle death glare.

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After a few sputtered phrases, Lillian had retreated from Sara's room without apology _or_ further comment.

Emma Anne motioned to Sara to follow her, all the while saying aloud, "Miss Sara, you should see this beautiful evening sky!"

Once outside, Emma Anne closed the French doors leading to the patio. Sara waited patiently for her to speak.

Slowly, looking over her shoulder several times, Emma Anne began to speak.

She told Sara about Lillian's obsession with eavesdropping on the lives of her daughters, and so she suspected that Lillian was eavesdropping on Sara also.

"You mean…she has my room _bugged_?" Sara spurted incredulously.

"That's how she knew I had fallen! And about the phone call!"

Emma backed away from Sara as her eyes lit up in anger.

An angry Sidle is a fearsome sight.

Suddenly, her countenance became peaceful, but Sara's eyes continued to light up dangerously.

She stared at Emma and said pointedly, "There are bugs in my room!"

Emma rethought her original impression of Sara. She now wondered if she _was_ totally rational.

Sara laughed out loud and repeated, "There are _bugs_ in my room!"

She smiled broadly, reaching out and hugging a startled Emma, who became more worried when Sara stated, "And _I _happen to know a _terrific_ bug man!"

Whipping out her cell phone from her pocket, Sara started texting a message while she muttered to no one in particular, "And I believe he makes house calls…"

Reading the response to her message printed boldly on her cell phone monitor, Sara chuckled and sighed, "_Oh, Gil_!"


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: These two…they really get to you…here's a Saturday morning smile for you, jenstog, and all the many, many faithful reviewers and readers…hope it pleases…you remain great…-Kathy

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COUNTDOWN: DAY 9 (daybreak)

Gil lay in his four-poster bed, bathed in the streaming brilliance of a rising sun.

He was very worn out, he was very sore, he was very…happy.

Gil Grissom had spent the entire night with Sara.

He chuckled as he could imagine her wrath if he had uttered such a phrase in her presence.

TECHNICALLY spent the entire night, he thought, smiling warmly as he clarified this point to no one in particular.

Actually, following Sara's text message, he had hurried surreptitiously through the empty corridors leading towards Sara's room, hoping not to encounter anyone to whom he might have to explain his suspicious activity.

He turned a corner, and bumped right into Emma Anne.

Before he could speak, she silenced him with a finger to her lips, then dragged him into the nearby study.

Once inside, she closed the door and simply said, "Follow me."

Moving towards the fireplace, Emma Anne pulled a decorative latch and opened a paneled door, hidden from view as it was designed to be.

They entered a lighted corridor, a long avenue that provided servants with easy access to several main rooms as well as a pathway from the kitchen.

Already intrigued by the layout of the century old homestead, Gil decided he would need to speak to Logan about its rich history.

_If these walls could speak…_Gil smiled as he continued to follow a swift-moving Emma Anne who was obviously practiced in maneuvering through this passageway.

The next thing he knew, she was pushing on a handle and he soon found himself in Sara's room.

She was delighted to see him, but mimicked Emma Anne's motion to refrain from speaking.

The maid smiled as the two CSI's worked the room, noting how they worked seamlessly, mirroring their movements in a fascinating sort of symmetry.

She was more shocked when they each whipped around simultaneously and together mouthed, "Here!"

Emma Anne watched as Gil's smile broadened at this. _Did his eyes linger just a bit longer than needed?_

She gazed at Sara whose grin was a bit brighter than she had noted before. _Did her eyes focus on him just a bit more intently?_

Gil and Sara traded places to view what had been uncovered.

They turned to each other incredulously. _Baby monitors?_

Leaving the listening devices where they had been discovered and motioning for them to retreat to the balcony, Sara led the way and the other two followed.

Emma Anne asked Sara to please ring for her if she needed anything else, but that Lillian would be looking for her if she stayed much longer.

She was surprised with Sara hugged her tightly in thanks.

_Yes, she could really get to like this girl._

Alone finally, Gil relaxed against the trellis enclosure. "How are you, Sara? I missed supper…didn't have the chance to see you."

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Gil Grissom had actually spent his dinner hour restlessly combating his demons.

_Ten days. These are my last ten days with Sara before…before Nick comes to… take her away from me._

_Why did I agree that I would give her away?_

_I can't give her away!_

_It will be like giving my heart away._

_You don't give away things you love._

_He had sat straight up as he thought about what he had just revealed._

"…_things you love…"_

_Gil Grissom loved Sara Sidle._

_He had always felt it._

_He just never had acknowledged it._

_But he was too late………………wasn't he?_

_Gil had pulled himself painfully to his feet and began pacing wildly._

_Ten days._

_You have ten days to get your head out of the sand, Grissom._

_His smile faded as he abruptly stopped before the mirror._

_Could he break his pattern of avoiding the truth about her, could he lower the protective shield he had built around his once-broken heart…………could he let her see that he loved her?_

_What if she really loved Nick? What if she really wanted to be part of this ridiculous family?_

_Gil sighed. Now that Sara was with Nick, he was not longer sure how she felt about _him_._

_--What if she didn't _want_ to be with him anymore (seven years I pushed her away),_

_--What if she didn't _care _for him as she did before (she's with Nick now, and he's younger and able to give her the world)…………_

_--What if she didn't _need_ him anymore (what could he possibly be able to give her that she couldn't get more and better from Nick)?_

_It was hopeless, he sighed as the melancholy claimed his being._

_Nicky could run rings around him in every category: he was younger, more virile, easy going, popular, good looking…_

_There was nothing unique about Gil Grissom…_

_Why indeed would someone like Sara Sidle ever want a frumpy old misanthrope like him in her bed?_

_At that exact moment, Gil's phone chimed that he had a new message._

_Stunned, he had to reread Sara's text message twice before a large, incredulous grin plastered over his face._

"Bug Man – I need you in my bedroom"

_Gil gazed into the setting sun and mouthed "Thank you" to his guardian angel who was obviously pointing out the truth to him –he still had a chance…_

_If he still wanted Sara, he had ten days to make his move._

_What had Dr. Craig said?_ "It's really not over 'til the fat lady sings'."

_Gil suddenly developed a real aversion to the opera…_

_Smiling back at his cell phone, knowing his Sara was waiting for his reply; he thought for a moment and then smilingly typed,_

"Why then tonight let us assay our plot"

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Sara had stood alone as the setting sun bathed her in gorgeous hues.

Her heart was racing.

She wondered if he understood the implications of what he had typed in response.

She stood with goose bumps as she turned away from Emma Anne, faced with the hopefilled knowledge that Gil Grissom _always_ said what he meant.

Sara couldn't help but smile as she recalled an animated conversation they had engaged in during those early days of their friendship.

They would sit for hours in that little campus coffee shop, talking about his love of opera, her joy in an open-air philharmonic performance, and their shared love of Shakespeare.

His choice to quote from _All's Well That Ends Well_ was not lost on her.

After all, they had spent one entire afternoon laughing and flirting after realizing they had separately attended the drama department's Spring production of that comedy.

Their discussion had centered on the use of the **bed trick,** a plot device in traditional literature that involves a substitution of one partner into bed with someone "whom you mistake for someone else".

In the Shakespearean use of the bed trick, a man goes to a sexual assignation with a certain woman, and without his knowledge that woman's place is taken by a substitute.

The parallels to Sara's current marital status were too obvious to ignore: _If a woman plans to go to bed with her fiance and that man's place is taken by a substitute…_

This caused her to respond, "Oh, Gil!"

_If only he could really mean it…_

Sara was so caught up in the debate between her head and her heart that she hadn't noticed Emma Anne leave the balcony in search of Gil.

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Replying that she had also missed dinner, their eyes locked again for a moment.

Sara was beginning to feel hunger of a different sort.

She was unaware that Gil was totally sharing her appetite.

He moved towards her instinctively, and placed a large hand softly on her cheek.

_She is so beautiful_, keeping his thoughts locked away as he always did.

_BUT_, his heart screamed, _you have only _ten more days_…the time for keeping your feelings locked inside are over…tell her…tell her now!_

And for once, Gil listened to his heart.

"Sara…you are so beautiful," the words almost a whisper, baring his heart to her.

She closed her eyes, willing him closer.

He moved slowly towards her, lips so close she could feel his breath on her cheek, until suddenly the lights in her bedroom turned on.

Moving to the shadows swiftly to avoid detection, his shape was blocked from view by the curtained French door that was swung open hastily.

"Oh…Sara, dear…I…I was worried about you…I didn't hear…know…if you were alright."

Sara turned her body towards the now star-dotted horizon, failing to remove the lovestruck grin from her face. She didn't want Lillian to become any more suspicious, but she needed Gil to know.

"I am better than alright."

Lillian took that statement at face value, and announced that she was turning in for the night, strongly suggesting that Sara do the same.

Sara walked over to the stereo and turned on the radio, searching until she was pleased to find the DELILAH radio show carried on a local station.

Escorting Lillian to the door, she bid her goodnight.

Lillian was satisfied that Sara meant to stay in her room listening to that sentimental nonsense, so she simply continued on through the doorway while calling over her shoulder, "Sweet dreams, Sara dear!"

Sara's eyes glanced towards the open French door. "Sweet, indeed, Lil-baby," she muttered as she closed and locked her bedroom door, moving swiftly back to the balcony.

Still on graveyard shift body clocks, Sara and Gil spent the rest of the night together while the rest of the Stokes' household slept peacefully.

They had used the servant's corridor to travel to the kitchen, where they spent several hours chatting with Emma Anne, Bruce, and Jeremy. Gil prepared a small cold supper for them with cook Jeremy's supervision, the older man impressed with Gil's expertise in the kitchen.

Sara beamed proudly as Jeremy continued to compliment Grissom on his buffet's presentation.

Gil smiled happily as he saw Sara eat slowly, but continuously throughout their time in the kitchen. He knew she had always neglected to eat when she was stressed, and he knew also that he had usually been a major cause of that stress.

Tonight, though, tonight his Sara was laughing and eating…and so beautiful.

Around 1 a.m. they decided to take a stroll around the ranch, heading first towards the stables.

Sara had a secret love of these beautiful animals, although she also feared them.

It was difficult for her to admit to anyone her unreasonable fear of such lovely creatures, so Gil was not the only one surprised when she looked at him and confessed her concerns.

Gil stood there a moment, his heart urging him to speak.

"_I know how hard it is for someone strong like you, Sara, to admit that there is something you are afraid of._

_We all have our fears, Sara."_

He took a breath before looking away as he continued to rub his large hand smoothly over the back of the chestnut stallion before them.

"_Shall I tell you my biggest fear?"_

Her body froze. Only her eyes moved to his. His head turned back to hold her prisoner to his gaze.

"_You."_

She opened her mouth in a soft gasp.

Gil Grissom was here.

Gil Grissom was standing right here.

Gil Grissom was standing right here, telling her…he was afraid of her?

She moved closer, placing her small hand over his, stilling his movements.

She whispered, "_Why? Why would you be afraid of me, Gil?"_

His eyes closed at the sound of his first name falling from her lips. She made it sound so..intimate.

_Why_ indeed?

The last seven years flashed before him, and he realized…he had been a fool.

He had placed an empty career ahead of his heart.

He could have left the lab and had the same amount of success anywhere else in the country.

He could have had Sara's love and support during all those years.

He had been so stupid.

He had betrayed his heart.

He had pushed her away.

But now…perhaps he was not too late…

"_Because I love you so much, I can't think straight._

_And it scares me, Sara._

_And I do all the wrong things, say all the wrong things, want all the –"_

His heart cut him short.

_Wanting her is NOT the wrong thing!_

Before he could think, his large hand slid from the beast to grasp Sara by the waist, pulling her off-balance until she was pressing against him.

Had he been a thinking man, he would have noticed that she didn't struggle.

But he wasn't thinking, as his heart had totally taken control of the situation.

"_I want it all, Sara…I want it all…__I want to be with _you_, Sara-"_

His heart, being in charge of the situation, told him to just shut up and kiss the girl.

Gil Grissom was not one to argue with those who were in charge of the situation.

After a passion-filled kiss, one which allowed him to prove he meant all he had told her, they broke apart for some much-needed air, as Sara looked up with heavily-lidded eyes and whispered, "Oh, Gil!"


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Please consider this the end of the storyline from last chapter…I didn't have time to bring Sara back to reality in the last chapter. From now on, there will be one chapter only for each countdown day…sigh…this story is going to start taking some twists and turns…fasten your seatbelts…I am loving these characters…hope it pleases…you remain great! Thanks for the reviews and the reader support of this story! –Kathy

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COUNTDOWN DAY 9 (breakfast time)

As it was the weekend, Logan and Lillian sat on the veranda finishing their breakfast coffee.

"Plans for today, Lil?" Logan asked distractedly, glancing towards the stables.

"Oh my, yes," she sat more erect in her high back patio chair.

"I need to take Sara to town…there's a million little details to be finalized before the wedding!"

Logan groaned inwardly, wondering _whose_ wedding this was turning into.

"Do you think that's wise? I mean, shouldn't Sara still be resting up from her injuries? They've only been here a day. You remember what Dr. Craig –" he started before being cut off tersely by Lillian.

"Don't mention that man's name in my house!" she countered huffily.

"That quack…imagine, the way he treated poor Nicky, shoving him around like he had no business-"

It was Logan's turn to interrupt. "Lillian,_ dear_, we will have to agree to disagree on this point. Whatever your personal feelings are about the situation, you can't overlook the fact that Sara needs time to recuperate."

His stern tone surprised Lillian again. Since they had left Vegas, Logan Stokes had contradicted her more times, and spoken to her more harshly than he had in all the years they had been married. _What was going on with him?_

The debate ended when Emma Anne appeared to clear the tables.

"Emma Anne," Lillian began, glaring across the table at her husband, "please go wake Sara and ask her to join us for breakfast. It's past nine already and she hasn't stirred."

Emma Anne left them before the fireworks, as she had also noticed the changes in her now less patient employer.

Logan sat staring at Lillian, making her extremely uncomfortable. He wondered how she knew that Sara "hadn't stirred". Such an odd phrase made him suspicious to say the least.

As a judge who listened to presented testimony daily, he was quick to weed out meaning from the most innocuous phrases.

Realization hit him as he recalled Lillian's methods of raising teenage daughters.

His eyes widened. She failed to meet his gaze.

Logan stood and leaned over the table almost menacingly.

This silent action commanded Lillian's undivided attention.

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes to retain his composure.

It didn't work.

"You have until noon today to remove any and all listening devices from that bedroom suite, Lillian Stokes," he muttered through clenched teeth before slapping his napkin forcefully onto the oblong glass patio table.

"I will _do_ what I see fit, _in my own home_, to protect my son!" she returned the tone in kind, as she stood opposite him in defiance.

"_By noon_ today, Lillian," Logan snapped, "or you will be finding yourself a _new _home!"

Stunned by this ultimatum, Lillian sputtered, snapped her mouth closed, and bounced back down into her seat, dumbfounded.

"_BY NOON_!" Logan bellowed, retreating heatedly into the confines of the house.

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Sara had been sitting on the balcony, staring at the stables.

Eight hours ago, he had held her in his arms and professed the feelings she always wanted to hear fall from his beautiful lips.

_Those lips._

They had parted hers and their tongues had dueled. He had kissed her neck, her shoulders, and murmured sweet nothings as he tugged her shirt off her shoulders and a bit lower to allow himself more access to her trembling body.

Then, he had stopped.

Butting his forehead into hers, he had closed his eyes to regain some control.

"Sara," he began, lifting her chin to make her look into his eyes.

"I know…you gave a promise to Nick…" he spoke softly.

_NICK! How could she have forgotten she was getting married in a little over two weeks! _

Gil had stepped away from her, only their hands joined as they stared at each other.

"I love you, Sara. I always will. And I want you to be happy. _Truly_ happy. That's why…"

_Please, don't say this was a mistake, Gil, I couldn't bear it!_

"That's why I don't want you to say anything now. We have nine more days together. Please just say you will give me a chance to show you how much I love you. Just give me a chance, Sara.

If …after these nine days you still…love…Nick, I will give you away at your wedding and wish you the best.

If …after these nine days you decide you could accept my faults and all and…love..._me_, than I will go with you to talk to Nick.

And then, honey," he paused bringing her slowly back into his embrace and kissing her lovingly, "and then _we_ can get married as soon as we leave here."

There was a long pause as Gil just held her tightly, afraid to look into her eyes for fear he had bared his soul in vain.

He knew he would never recover if she rejected him without even a chance to prove his love.

Instead, when he finally pulled away, he saw tears glistening in her eyes.

He pulled her back into a protective hug, whispering, "Sara?"

Sara kept her eyes closed for fear of unleashing a torrent of tears.

"You…you'd _do_ that…for _me_?" she asked softly.

In her whole life, no one had loved her enough to sacrifice what they wanted so that she would be happy.

Sara thought she could never love him more.

She raised her arms to link them behind his head with the intention of pulling him back into a mind-blowing kiss.

That's when the light bounced off the diamond engagement ring, sparkling in the dim lamplight of the stables.

Sara thought she would faint under the crushing weight of her situation.

She loved Gil, she always had.

But she and Nick had been friends for years, and he had been there for her, helping her pick up the pieces when Gil had pushed her away for the last time.

Nick had never hurt her like Gil had done in the past. How could she hurt _him_ this way?

Nick offered her family, stability, openly professed his love for her in a million ways. Would Gil be able to handle the pressures of a relationship with her, with her past always rearing its ugly head to haunt her?

And when she had said _yes_, Nick was the happiest man on earth_._

_And if I have to tell Gil _no_, I don't think _I_ will ever recover. The thought of him giving me away, standing before all those people, most of whom I don't even know…having to say goodbye forever…_

Gil grasped her close to himself as he heard her gasping for breath.

The stark understanding of her dilemma suddenly overwhelmed her.

No matter what, _someone_ was going to be hurt. And it would be _her_ fault.

Sara suddenly felt the desire to run away.

Sensing her mood, Gil rubbed her back soothingly and said, "Sara…we have nine days…nine days, sweetheart…you don't have to decide anything tonight…"

He pulled away and smiled though his heart was breaking.

"_Whatever_ you decide, I will be alright with…I _promise_ you…I only ever wanted you to be happy…with no regrets…and I _will _be alright with your decision, no matter _what_ it is...do you really believe that?"

Something in his eyes made her stop and really listen to his message.

In the soft stable-light, under a cloudless night sky, Sara whispered, "I do."

The magic of that moment was not lost on either of them.

They turned and strolled with arms wrapped around each other, leaving the stables and just ambling across the meadows until the early streaks of the Texas morning painted the sky above them.

Later, as they parted unwillingly, Sara had returned to her room, shutting off the radio she had left playing softly in her absence.

Suddenly, her phone chirped and she smiled.

_That Grissom is so adorable, wanting to be sure I'm alright._

Her face fell as she read the screen. She froze for a second before clearing her suddenly dry throat and answered, "Nick! Hey, what's going on?"

Sara looked up from her balcony seat, recalling how lost Nick sounded without her.

He spoke of the caseload and how affected he was by having to tell a husband that his wife was killed by a driveby gang shooter.

He was barely holding back tears as he told her how _he_ could never survive if anything ever happened to her.

He wished he could hold her, and he hoped she felt as lonely for him.

Sara couldn't breathe.

She did the best she could to comfort him, as she had comforted her best friend every other time he was so brokenhearted about dealing with the death they saw every shift.

But this time was different. She felt as if she had betrayed him tonight.

Nick wanted to talk about how he kept imagining her asleep in his bed, and soon it would be _their_ bed.

Nick continued, but Sara suddenly felt nauseous. _Their bed._

Her mind screamed at her to remember the feel, the scent, the power of Gil's arms around her.

Nick never made her feel _that_ way.

She was becoming ill at the thought of another man besides Gil kissing her, touching her, removing her clothing, taking her on their wedding night…

"Nick!" Sara suddenly had stopped him in mid-sentence.

"Sara, honey…are you okay? Talk to me, darlin'" Nick spoke in a concerned tone.

"Nick…I think…I think I am not feeling well…I think I better go back to bed…" she began.

"Oh, darlin'…I woke you up…completely forgot about the early hour…and you…still recuperating…oh, buttercup, I am so sorry," he rattled on, and she felt terrible as once again as he was hurting because of her.

"Nick, really, it's okay…you can call anytime…it's just…I should go now…" she said softly.

And so she found herself on the balcony, wishing somehow she could just disappear instead of having to make a choice that would cause one man she truly cared for to endure a painfully broken heart because of her.

That's how Emma Anne found her, relating that Lillian requested her presence at breakfast before dealing with the "million things" left to do before the wedding.

The maid noticed a change in Sara since the previous evening, leaving her to wonder what that nice Dr. Grissom might have done to create such sadness in this young woman.

As Sara was left alone again to change for a busy day with her future mother-in-law, she took one last look over her shoulder towards the stables. She turned suddenly and moved slowly towards the banister.

Lonely tears rolled down her cheek from her very tired eyes, as she hugged herself tightly, remembering that only a few hours ago, she had felt very safe and very loved.

Standing alone on the balcony, glancing down at her cell phone still bearing the imprint of the name of her last caller, Sara now felt only very confused and very afraid.

Yet, even in the midst of her dilemma, she cried out to the one person who she instinctively ran towards in times of need. She shuddered as the sobs overtook her body, whispering, "Oh, Gil…"


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Sorry for the delay, there was a problem with uploading this chapter onto the server on Monday night. My own dessert piece from our weekend takeout order figures prominently in the latter part of this piece…inspiration is all around, I guess…have a bad cough, so since I can't sleep, I figured I would give my GSR friend jenstog another reason to take a break from vacuuming today LOL…thanks for all the amazing reading support of this story, including all you incredible reviewers…hope this pleases…more in a day or two…you remain amazing… -Kathy

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COUNTDOWN: DAY 8 (daybreak)

Gil was awakened suddenly by a slight movement to his right.

Without moving, he slid his eyes opened to find Sara quivering slightly, as if wrestling against a restraining force.

He noticed her eyebrows scrunched and her mouth pouting, as if ready to call out for help.

Instinctively, he held her closer while whispering softly into her hair, "Shh..it's alright, sweetheart. You're ok. You're ok. I'm right here…shh…"

Gil smiled as Sara seemed to relax into peaceful slumber, snuggling deeper into his arms before her breathing evened off to indicate a return to deep sleep.

He lay there while the early dawn intruded into their hideaway, trying to make sense of the previous day's events.

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He had slept through until midday, awaking anxiously to see Sara after their rendezvous at the stable.

Paging her cell, he was not at first alarmed that she did not answer. _Must still be asleep after our late night._

He smiled at the recollection of his pronouncement – and of her response.

_She didn't push me away. Nine days. I have nine days left to prove my love to her._

Reaching the living area of the house, he spotted Emma Anne who smiled briefly upon catching his gaze.

"Good afternoon, Emma Anne. Has Sara stirred from her beauty sleep?" he quipped.

"Oh, Dr. Grissom, Sara has been gone since early this morning. Gone to see about more wedding arrangements," she said, realizing this news was not going to be received well.

Her perceptions were right on the money.

"She's gone out? But she was supposed to be resting! Whose fool idea was it for her to leave anyway?"

Emma Anne refused to acknowledge his glare. That was answer enough for him.

Before he could speak again, a booming voice from behind him said, "Ah, Gil…I'd give you three guesses on that one!"

He turned to find Logan coming out of his study.

"Now, now…you aren't going to get me to argue with you," he started again, placing his hands up defensively so Gil would let him continue.

"I tried to tell Lillian she was pushing Sara, but I'm sure you know what it is like to try to talk sense to someone as stubborn as my wife," he half-smiled.

Gil could sense Logan and Lillian had words about this topic.

"I suspect Lillian is wearing out Sara as we speak. I tried to phone them a while ago, but only got the driver to say they were out on The Drive, still shopping."

Gil was getting red-faced.

_Dammit. If I only had a car, I'd find this place and rescue Sara from Lillian's clutches._

Sensing Gil's distress, Logan invited him to go out for lunch in the nearby town.

Hoping that they might somehow run into Sara by chance, he willingly agreed and the two men hopped into Logan's jeep and sped off towards the Dew Drop Inn.

Inside, Gil felt much more relaxed. This place had a welcoming vibe that felt like home.

The staff all greeted Logan warmly, with a waitress coming to their table immediately.

Seeing how personable he was with the young girl, Gil decided he really liked this man who left his prestigious title in his judge's chambers at the end of the day. Today, he was just plain Logan Stokes who was out for a beer and a sandwich with a friend.

Orders being delivered, Logan sat back in the chair and looked at Gil a while before speaking.

"I am just as concerned about Sara as you are, Gil," he began.

"Lillian managed to override my opinions today, " he added leaning forward onto the large oak table between them, "but I realize that Sara might need more rest before dealing with all this marriage _nonsense_."

His use of the term was not lost on Gil.

Gulping deeply from his frosty mug, Logan stared at Gil before continuing.

"I won't let anything…or _anyone_…hurt Sara. She is very…special…to me, Gil. Just like any of my other daughters, I mean to protect her from _anything_ that will cause her pain. She's been through enough of that –" he paused dramatically to capture Gil's attention.

A mutual understanding passed between them - that they both held information about Sara's past that very few others suspected.

"-don't you think, Gil?"

All Gil could do was nod, dumbfounded that Logan not only knew about Sara's family history but also that he realized Gil had been entrusted with her secret.

"And Nick?" he needed to know.

Logan shook his head vigorously, smiling slightly. "Ignorance is bliss, I'm afraid."

Gil sighed slightly and muttered _Thank God_ under his breath.

Logan eyed this gentleman across from him, acknowledging more and more that Sara was certainly a priority with him – on many levels.

"Perhaps we should get back," Gil started anxiously as their meal trays were being removed from their booth table.

"Before we go, there's one more thing, "Logan intoned seriously.

Tossing a leather keycase across the table and watching Gil catch it effortlessly, he said, "This is a spare set to my Jeep. I don't usually use it except for coming here into town. Keep them and feel free to use it whenever. I've already alerted Fred at the Exxon station that you might be filling it up on my charge."

Gil smiled in thanks. His smile widened as he looked away, thinking about taking Sara for a midnight drive around the ranch.

As if to read his mind, Logan glanced away. His own thoughts ran back to that summer in the weeks before Anna left, how she would love to ride out into the back pasture under the harvest moon.

Perhaps Sara and Gil would enjoy making those memories…even if things didn't work out as Logan hoped for them…

Logan knew the saving power of memories.

Returning in late afternoon to the ranch, Gil was fuming that Sara had still not returned.

_She's had almost no sleep…what the hell is Lillian trying to do?_ he fussed.

An hour later, just as he was ready to jump into Logan's Jeep and try to find her, the weary party returned.

Lillian bustled into the house followed by her driver, overloaded with bags and boxes.

Behind them trudged a very exhausted Sara.

She had tried to explain her fatigue to Lillian several times during the day, but her future mother-in-law made noises about her needing to "tough it out" a bit longer.

"After all," Lillian would always add, "isn't Nicky's happiness worth a little inconvenience, dear?"

Dead on her feet, Sara at first didn't notice Gil approaching her.

His anger increased as he listened to Lillian rattle on about all the things they had left to do this evening, while it was obvious to anyone who looked upon her that Sara was near collapse.

She startled as he came up behind her and whispered softly so as not to disturb Lillian's diatribe, "Hey…you okay?"

Sara felt his warmth soaking into her tired being. All she wanted was to lean into him, letting herself ooze into his person, allowing him to absorb her weary body and soothe her aching heart.

This thought was so inviting, that Sara closed her eyes momentarily – and found herself almost collapsing against his broad chest.

Swiftly, he grabbed her swaying form, pausing only to swing her to the side and to lift her off her feet.

Moving to the nearby couch, he lay her gently onto the cushions before kneeling alongside her, smoothing her hair as she looked at him tiredly.

"Gil…I'm okay, really…I'm fine…" she said with a conviction that did not meet her eyes.

"Just rest, honey. You did too much today," Gil answered, glaring at a furious Lillian.

Before she could speak, Logan entered the room. Quickly sizing up the situation, he hurried his angry wife from the room to allow Sara and Gil some privacy.

Sara realized Lillian was going to be a bear about her "acting frail", and decided not to fuel any discord between them for Nick's sake.

Gil, however, did not have those concerns.

Pushing her back down, he reached for a coverlet on a nearby chair and covered Sara with it, imploring her to take a minute to just relax.

Continuing to smile at her and smooth her hair, Sara succumbed to his attentions and soon found her body relaxing.

Gil moved to remove her shoes, when Emma Anne appeared to light the gas fireplace. Dimming the lights before she left, she inquired about their needs before leaving them alone near the roaring fire.

Sara was asleep in minutes, with Gil massaging her tired feet, thrilling to the intimacy of this setting.

An hour later, Logan ordered Chinese for the family. Gil resisted leaving Sara, but his exchange woke her enough to make her realize she needed to join the family for their mealtime.

Gil grimaced at her decision, but joined her at the table sitting right next to her – and right across from Lillian.

He ate very little, being too busy exchanging death glares with his nemesis.

As the family chatted animatedly about the wedding and all that was left to do for the reception, only Gil and Logan noted that Sara was eating very little.

A concerned glance was exchanged, but if Gil wasn't pressing the issue then Logan figured he would stay quiet and allow Gil to address their concern in private when he and Sara finally were alone.

As the meal was essentially finished, Logan passed Sara a plate that held a rather large fortune cookie.

"I saved this one for my favorite girl, " he winked and was pleased at the genuine smile Sara presented him with while accepting this small wrapped token.

Sara pocketed it for later, as Lillian began, "Now, Sara dear, tonight will be very busy. First we-"

She was cut off by Gil standing and pulling out Sara's chair.

"Sara is going to retire now, Lillian. She is supposed to be resting to recuperate from her injuries. And that is exactly what she is going to do for the rest of the night. If you will excuse us…" Gil said in his best supervisor's voice.

Lillian started to rise in protest, but Logan's hand on her shoulder quickly nixed that idea.

"Good idea, Gil. It's been a big day. Good night, darlin'. Get a good rest. Then," he smiled at both Gil and Sara, "have a _good night_."

Sara flinched slightly as she said good night to the family. _Did Logan seem like he knew something?_

Five minutes later, Sara was once again under the covers and almost fast asleep.

Worried that Lillian would visit her shortly, she had declined Gil's offer to stay with her and look after her.

He had kissed her sweetly and then disappeared through the passageway, reminding her that his cell was on if she needed him.

_You may never know how much I need you, Gil, _Sara thought wearily.

An hour later, Sara was still tossing and turning. As tired as she was, she simply couldn't fall asleep.

Rising tiredly, her ribs hurting and her head spinning, Sara didn't want to take any pain medication. But two days without any prescription medication in her system, her injuries were throbbing.

Sara decided to take half the dose, but needed something to nibble with it to prevent stomach upset.

That's when she remembered the fortune cookie.

Breaking it open, she popped a broken piece into her mouth and couldn't resist reading the fortune.

She sputtered, almost choking on the piece in her mouth as she read:

"_**A phone call to a good friend will ease your mind and lift your spirits."**_

She took her medication, noting it was almost 11 pm as she swallowed the welcomed relief.

Climbing back into bed, she stared at the fortune for a long time. Feeling the small rush of comfort as the medication began working, Sara had drifted off to sleep.

Nightmares plagued her almost immediately, with Lillian and Nick surreally dragging Sara from the lights of a busy city street towards a dark cliff. Sara was frightened of the menacing abyss. She cried out for help, escaping from their clutches only to be dragged further back. Thrashing about in her bed irritated her wounds so painfully that Sara woke up drenched in perspiration, frightened, but happy to be awake.

She lay there as her breathing slowed. Rolling her head to the side, she noticed the thin white paper reassuring her:

"_**A phone call to a good friend will ease your mind and lift your spirits."**_

Picking up her phone, she hit SEND after typing the message, "Gil, I need you."

With a quick text response, Gil moved swiftly from his seat by his open bedroom window.

In no time, he was entering her room from the passageway. Seeing her state, he immediately realized she had suffered another nightmare.

He kicked off his shoes and climbed in beside her. Without a word, he clicked off the light and soothed her into his embrace. She was asleep in minutes. He sighed happily and joined her soon after.

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And that is how he found himself here with her this morning.

Wondering if she'd want him in her bed upon waking, or if she'd even remember calling for him, Gil slipped out from under the covers. The passageway door had just closed as she stirred.

Reaching for him, Sara wasn't sure if it had all been a dream. _Had he really been here?_

Picking up her phone, Sara hit the MESSAGES history button and found that, indeed, she had called and he had come to her.

Sara sunk back into the pillows and smiled. Closing her eyes, she could still feel the warmth of his body on his pillows. Pulling them into a tight embrace, Sara drifted off for additional sleep – she had a little more dreaming she wanted to do.

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By noon, Sara had surfaced wondering why everyone let her sleep so late.

She was unaware of Logan's new dictate to _every_ member of his household that Sara was not to be disturbed _under any circumstances_ until she herself was ready to join them for the day.

Emma Anne greeted her happily as she entered the kitchen from the passageway. She was glad to see Sara looking so much better than the day before.

Excusing herself, Emma Anne secreted herself up the back steps until she found herself outside of Gil's room. Knocking softly, she waited for him to open the door before smiling and saying, "You wanted to know when Sara was awake. She's in the kitchen, sir."

Gil spoke his thanks and followed her wordlessly back down the winding corridor.

Sara smiled lovingly at Gil. "Hi," she spoke softly.

"You look beautiful," was all he could respond, failing to squelch the desire to lean down and press a soft kiss onto her soft lips.

"Mmm, you taste like oranges," he said, making Sara blush.

They spent the next half hour chatting happily in their secret hideaway, while Gil cut up some more fruit, and prepared a cheese and cracker tray for her.

Emma Anne hated to interrupt them, but Lillian was on the warpath wondering where Sara and Gil had taken off to.

"If you plan to avoid the missus, you'd better hurry," their friendly maid whispered, looking over her shoulder to be sure she wasn't overheard.

"Well, where could _we_ go, anyway?" Sara sighed dejectedly, wishing she could spend some time alone with Gil in the beautiful Texas afternoon.

"Anywhere you _wish_ to go, my lady, " Gil smiled, holding up the leather key case Logan had gifted him with the previous afternoon.

"We couldn't…" Sara began. Then, hearing Lillian's voice in the distance, she panicked and grabbed Gil's hand, "…COULD we?"

Like the wind, they were up and out the side door, laughing as they ran with Gil's arm protectively around her waist, pulling her to him as he helped her into the Jeep and ran around to hop in the driver's side.

Yanking on their seatbelts, Gil turned the key and they sped off towards the hills, Gil saying he was feeling a bit like Bonnie and Clyde making their getaway from Ma Barker.

Looking ahead at the beauty around them, Sara refused to look back or to even consider what a nightmare she would be returning to later.

Right now, she was with him and he wanted to be with her and the whole world seemed to be welcoming them.

He glanced over, happy to see Sara grinning in that special way that melted his heart. He hadn't seen her so happy in quite a while.

The Jeep left the road and headed towards the hills in the distance. The ride was a bit bumpy, but Gil was careful not to jar Sara's injuries too much.

The breeze blew her hair back like an angel's wings in flight.

At this sight, his heart swelled with emotion for this woman.

Gil grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips.

Sara stared at his action, and blinked hard when he glanced over at her and said, "I love you, Sara."

Speech eluded her.

She found herself blushing hard, the only phrase that her scrambling brain could conceive was a very shy, "Oh, Gil…"


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Chapter number 13...how fitting for these events!...okay…don't shoot the messenger…but these two are taking us on the beginning of a wild ride…and I found myself with a tear or two at the end…your reviews continue to amaze me, as well as the others who support this story by reading…you remain terrific…fasten your seatbelts... –Kathy

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COUNTDOWN: DAY 7 (daybreak)

Sara reached over sleepily and pulled her tired form closer to him as he slept beside her.

She kept her eyes closed, listening to the early morning symphony of a band of skylarks nesting in the shade trees nearby the balcony.

She refused to let her mind wander to the turmoil she was sure to become embroiled in upon waking.

Lillian was going to have her head for sure.

After escaping into the brilliant sunshine of the Texas afternoon, she and Gil had stayed away, riding around until midnight.

They had stopped to watch a herd of wild horses streak across the lower acreage of the ranch. Sara continued to express her irrational love/fear concerning these beautiful animals.

Watching her eyes spark with wonder as she admired their sleek bodies and delicate elegance, an idea had spawned in his head.

Smiling, he promised himself to speak to Logan after dinner tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Lillian was fuming that Gil had the audacity to remove Sara from under her watchful eye.

_He better not try any funny stuff. My Nicky could take him out in a heartbeat. And if Nicky wouldn't, _I_ certainly would have no problem._

Although Lillian was stewing over her next confrontation with Grissom, that was not the least of Sara's worries.

Emma Anne had left a note on her pillow stating that Nick had phoned the house while Sara and Gil were out because he was unable to reach Sara by cell.

The maid mentioned that Mr. Stokes had taken the call into his study, where most of the household had heard raised voices. The clarity was not such as to comprehend what was being said, but whatever it was decidedly unpleasant.

For now, however, Sara just wanted to bask in the warmth of Gil's embrace.

When they had returned a little after midnight, she had wanted to hightail it into the house, but Gil had other ideas.

He had pouted sweetly until she laughed and allowed him to take her hand and pull her towards the stables.

Sara did indeed love that place. She moved quickly to Buttercup's stall. The chestnut mare moved towards her, apparently happy to see Sara again.

Stroking her mane and speaking softly to her, Sara felt …happy. She had spent a wonderful day with Gil who had continued to overwhelm her with his caring and attentions.

_If only we could have gotten together before –_

The reality of her engagement could often be pushed to her subconscious for a while, yet when it reemerged it always hit her like a slap in the face.

Sara tightened her lips and shuddered slightly.

Gil was behind her in a heartbeat, enveloping her in his arms, cooing, "A little cold, honey?"

She was lost in him.

Sara turned slowly and Gil pulled her into a tighter embrace as his lips claimed hers in a gently urgent kiss.

They stood there in their private ecstasy, while in the silence of the stables they were both aware of a very large internal clock ticking off the seconds until Nick returned to the picture.

Pulling away from her slightly, Sara had pleaded with him, "Don't let go…not yet…"

Gil hugged her lovingly, noticing she was shivering again.

Protectively, he led her out of the stables with his arm around her, placing kisses frequently into her hair as their walked up the knoll to the house.

Inside, they had chosen to take the passageway for fear of meeting up with Lillian.

Once inside Sara's room, he pulled her into a more deliberate hug.

He was on fire for her, yet he knew he needed to be patient until she made her decision.

_Please, Sara. Please don't send me back to my room tonight. I want to stay with you…I …_need _to be with you, _he thought.

Again his inner voices were urging him on, as his time to prove himself was passing by quickly.

_If that's how you feel…then tell her…tell her _now!

Like a man with nothing left to lose, Gil did just exactly that.

For the second time since arriving, Gil looked Sara straight in the eyes…and told her _exactly _what was in his heart and on his mind.

_He actually said it…to my face.. out loud…Gil Grissom _needs_ me!_

Gil let out a deep sigh when Sara moved forward into his embrace, and smiled as she continued to move their joined bodies backwards until they had collapsed together onto her bed.

She started to pull at his shirt when Gil stayed her hands.

"_Sara,"_ he gasped, afraid to open his eyes lest his resolve slip away, "_please, honey. Just let me lie here with you."_

Afraid she had misread his signals, Sara started to turn away from him when he pulled her back to him. Pulling her closer, so close though he now lay behind her, he whispered in her ear, "_Sara…I want you…you don't know how much…but until …until you …_choose_…to be with _me _forever, I…_can't._"_

Sara refused to be turned to look at him, upset because she felt the memories of his earlier rejections moving painfully through her conscious mind.

"_Can't …or _won't_?"_ she asked bitterly, wondering for the millionth time why being in love had to hurt so much.

Gil continued to force her to remain in front of him as he spoke gently to her ear.

"Can't_. I _can't_ Sara,"_ he tried to explain, but her anger was exponentially rising.

"_Yes, Dr. Grissom…I am well aware of your capabilities. You explained them once before, as I recall."_

She struggled to rid herself of his clutches, but he held firm.

"_SA-RA!" _Gil gasped, exasperated_. "That isn't what I meant at all. Honey…"_

He gently used his powerful arms and turned her to face him, but she refused to look at him.

He continued, "_Sara, _one night_ with you would be my undoing…I'm in this forever, honey…please, understand that…but if you were to change your mind…and …_not_ choose to be with me…I couldn't go on, Sara…I love you…"_

She gazed into his eyes, searching for truth.

Instead she found the burning passion of a heart's true love.

"_I…I couldn't bear it, Sara… I _need _you…I -" _was all Gil managed to get out before she stopped him with a kiss.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

And so she found herself sleeping next to him for a second night, fully clothed, but immensely happy to have this man holding her as he slept, guarding over her to keep those frightening nightmares at bay.

This morning, although they had not consummated their love, Sara found herself dreaming about where, when, and how their physical coupling would take place.

Just then, there was a knock from the passageway.

Emma Anne peeked her head into the room, her cheeks rosy from racing upstair.

Panting slightly, she only had enough air to spill out, "The missus-"

Sara sat bolt upright causing Grissom to stir.

He reached out for her concerned about what had caused her to waken so abruptly.

Emma repeated her message, with a bit more air in her system, "The missus is on her way!"

Sara snapped her head at Gil, who seemed initially to be ready to take on this battle.

Her eyes pleading, he looked down, refusing to meet her gaze as he hurried to the door to brush by Emma Anne without comment.

_I hurt him…he only wanted to be with me…and I am too much of a coward to face Lillian…but he wouldn't be afraid…perhaps I shouldn't have sent him away…he loves me…and I hurt him…_

Guilt surging through her, Sara glanced gratefully at the young woman whom she was beginning to regard as a friend, then she bounced back on her pillows with a heavy sigh.

A simultaneous opening and closing sound, as two doors moved with opposite actions, caused Sara to roll towards the now-opened door, her reaction to Lillian's presence mimicking that of someone awakened from a deep sleep.

Glancing furtively around Sara's room, Lillian breathed out a bit heavily. Inwardly glad not to have surprised Sara while finding Gil in the room, nonetheless there was the matter of their disappearance yesterday afternoon.

Seeking to head her off at the pass, Sara pasted a sickeningly sweet smile on her face and said, "Oh, Lillian, I am so glad you are here! I was just laying here thinking of all the shower favors that we need to complete today"

Taken aback by this sudden interest in the wedding, Lillian momentarily forgot all about the problem that was Gil Grissom, and began a nonstop rant about the lateness of the hour and the need to put someone's nose to someone's grindstone…

Sara was, after all, only half-listening. She started to wonder what would have happened if ole Lil _had_ found her with Gil.

_And what __had __happened between Nick and his father last night?_

Sara was extremely curious, but she knew better than to bring up the matter with Lillian.

Once she was alone again, Sara wondered if she should just call Nick herself, and decided she better do just that before she did anything else.

After all, if he was furious with her, perhaps he was thinking of calling off the wedding...

Instead of a sinking feeling that idea should have created, the only thought that crossed Sara's mind at this point was: _if indeed Nick was going to change his mind at least she should find out before wasting all her time wrapping netting around fourteen pounds of Jordan almonds..._

His phone was ringing as Nick was scrambling out from under the impound car, frustrated at finding nothing to indicate foul play.

He snapped his cell open without looking at the caller ID.

"Stokes," he barked, annoyed at the interruption.

After a pause, he pulled the phone away and narrowed his eyes after reading the name.

"So…I see you made it back in one piece. Have fun with Gris, did ya, _Sar_?" Nick spoke with a sarcastic tone.

"Nick! We _only_ went for a drive. It was a beautiful day to-"

"To _what_, Sara? Make out under the stars until all hours of the night?" he interrupted angrily.

Sara was speechless.

_How dare he! How dare he stand there and accuse me of something like that!_

In a flash, the memory of Gil's arms around her made her feel a tad bit guiltier than she would have liked.

_I mean, well, he's __right__ in that regard...but that doesn't give him the right to accuse me without tangible_ _proof!_

She was all set to hang up when she realized this argument might just be the venue she was searching for to help Nick see that perhaps she was not the right girl for him.

In response to his question, Sara simply sighed and said bluntly, "If that's what you want to think, Nick, be my guest. I promised myself a long time ago there'd be no room for _that_ kind of _us_, Nick, if you expect me to give up spending time with my friends just because you say so."

_There, that should do it._

_Even if he doesn't get it at first, plant the seed, Sara...plant the seed._

Nick was beyond furious.

"What...do you and my dad have a prepared script you're reading from? 'Cause I gotta tell ya right up front, _my little_ _buttercup_, there's no way in _hell_ that I going to let you end this engagement to run away with Grissom!"

His words made her gasp and drop the phone.

_He is so angry...I don't know how to talk to him when he is like this..._

She heard him angrily screaming her name, demanding that she pick up the receiver, but instead of complying she closed up her cell, effectively ending the call.

Within seconds the phone rang again...and again she ignored it.

Nick did not stop phoning; he simply hung up and repeated his attempts as Sara could feel his temper rising with each ring.

Finally, ditching the idea of sailing the cell into the balcony trees, Sara took a deep breath and opened the line.

Furious, Sara stated, "Save it, Nick! This was the last straw for me. And _if_ _I were _to decide to "run off" with Griss, Doc, or a stranger in a bar, for that matter, it would no longer be your business!" she said hotly, slamming the cell case closed angrily.

It chirped again in her hand, and she almost didn't answer.

But laying in his bed, surrounded by the minutiae that earmarked their Christmas here together just a few short weeks ago, Sara sighed and decided Nick deserved at least the opportunity to speak and have her listen what he had to say.

Her heart, however, felt this matter was a done deal.

She expected he would be sorry for being so emotional.

She expected him to grovel a bit, begging her for a chance to calmly talk through his frustrations.

She was not prepared for Nick's words - angry, deliberate…and frightening.

"I will _bury_ him, Sara," Nick said coldly.

"If you leave me for _him_, I will go to the Sheriff personally. He'll be immediately placed under suspicion of sexual harassment.

I mean it, Sara. If you leave me for him, I will go to the Public Defender's Office. I won't rest until every case you two have ever worked on together is called into suspicion.

Grissom's career will be _so_ over, Sara…and he'll have no one to blame but _you_," Nick said emphatically as he laughed as a man who felt he held all the cards.

She thought back to Gil's interview with Debbie Marlin's killer and the words that still haunted her dreams,

_"But we'd have to risk everything we've worked for just to have her...I couldn't do it..."_

Tears threatened, but Sara kept the strain from reaching her voice.

"Nick...you wouldn't..."

"Oh...but wouldn't I..." Nick sneered before continuing.

"You _haunt_ me, Sara.

I can't breathe without imagining your scent invading my body.

I can't move my arms without imagining holding you, pressing you tightly against my body.

I can't lay down without imagining you lying on top of me, making love to me just the way I like it.

I can't dream without undressing you and having you beg me for more when we're done.

I can't live with the thought of some other man taking what is _mine_, Sara."

She sat on the edge of the bed, now, trembling.

Sara shuddered as she remembered a thousand seemingly innocuous comments, touches, reactions...she thought Nick was just acting like a man "in love" should.

After all, he had been so wonderfully attentive while they dated - something Sara had never experienced in a relationship.

In the past few days with Gil, however, Sara had experienced attention of a different type.

Now able to compare the attentions of these men who professed their love for her, Sara's eyes were suddenly, and painfully, opened.

Gil's willingness to sacrifice what he desired so that the focus was solely for _her_ happiness, contrasted starkly to Nick's obsessive desire to claim Sara as his - to the _exclusion _of what would make _her_ happy.

Now she had a painful decision to make.

Would _she _have to sacrifice what _she_ desired so that Grissom would be able to keep the successful career and stellar reputation he had worked so hard to achieve?

"Nick...I think we both need to calm down, here..._honey_ " she winced at the ending, as she forced herself to use a markedly softer tone.

_If his ego needs stroking, I can do that...I will do that...do _anything_...to protect my Grissom..._

Nick was quiet, and Sara could see that he was forcing himself to take shallow breaths.

Now, he surprised her again, with a loving tone replacing his caustic outburst.

"I _need_ you, Sara," Nick began, using the same inflections he had on their last night of holiday vacation.

"I can't live without you, darlin'...I wouldn't ever want to try...you gotta understand..." he pleaded.

Sara stifled a sob, and simply whimpered, "mmm hmmm," in assent.

Nick continued, "Hey, maybe I can swing a day off this weekend and fly down early, what do you think? Would you like that, buttercup?"

All Sara _could_ think was that the countdown of alone time with Grissom was going to be cut short.

The sadness of that prospect pushed her towards the acceptance of a simple fact -

_No matter how much she loved him, she was never going to be able to marry Gil Grissom._

Having responded quietly, Sara was unable to hear anymore of Nick's conversation, as the sound of her heart breaking flooded her ears and filled her being with an inconsolable feeling of loss.

As Nick rambled on about how wonderful their life together was going to be, Sara's daydream focused upon Gil Grissom.

In her mind's eye, she saw his handsome figure slide behind the wheel of Logan's Jeep, packed to the hilt with all his belongings.

Gil was smiling and waving at her, as she stood on the balcony frantically calling and waving for him to come back, desperate for him to stay with her.

In her mind's eye, she saw him continue to wave and send her a look that always told her how much she was adored.

In her mind's eye, he drove farther and farther away, until he passed the far off mountains...and was gone from her sight.

Gil had left her, had moved on without her.

Ending his conversation as he needed to return to his investigation of the impound car, Nick was obviously feeling better after his discussion with Sara.

Nick wanted Sara to know what he was thinking about right now.

He was wishing he could be there to hold her.

He was wishing she would just forget their little "misunderstanding".

He was wishing he would be able to secure that early start to their "honeymoon vacation".

He was wishing they were getting married tomorrow.

He was wishing she would talk to his mother and smooth over any ruffled feathers caused by Sara's inconsiderate behavior towards her.

He was wishing Sara would relax and accept that, after all, Mom _was_ just trying to help.

Sara found herself wishing something herself.

She wished she could disappear.

Sending her a silly barrage of mini-kisses into the receiver, Nick's amorous intentions were really rubbing Sara the wrong way.

But not willing to upset him any further, Sara remained silent as to her true feelings.

She just wanted Nick to hang up.

She just had one thing on her mind: to find Grissom.

She just needed to find a way to tell Gil there was no hope for _them, _without having to tell him _why_.

She just wanted to run away from the reality that she had to say goodbye to their chance at happiness.

Agreeing to talk to Nick later, the call hadn't totally disconnected before a distraught Sara sought refuge in his pillow which lay alongside her, burying her face to surround herself with Gil's scent as from her aching depths, she whispered, "Oh, Gil..."


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: As this holiday weekend will find me away from my computer most days, I couldn't rest until I posted this update so that my longtime, faithful reviewers, especially jenstog and Meliara45678, as well as all of you who support this story by reading and especially reviewing, could sleep a bit better and so be able to enjoy this holiday weekend. Look for the next posting after the holiday. So, from the early morning hours, I hope this pleases…you remain terrific!

COUNTDOWN: DAY 6 (daybreak)

Sara lay there, unable to sleep, recalling the events of the previous day.

The arrival of the dawn was heralded with a soaking cloudburst.

She listened to the rain tapping heavily on the wooden clapboards of the balcony, the large eaves protecting the room from an intrusion of moisture.

"I used to love the early morning," she thought bitterly, as she eyed the clock listlessly.

This room was a perfect resting place for those who love to nestle down under cozy covers while being entertained by the dance of raindrops on a nearby balcony.

Today, however, this room contained a different sort of "perfect resting place".

Rolling to her side slightly, she watched as the pressure of her head on his chest caused a slight puffing motion of each exhale Gil made.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A sad smile crossed her face as she realized there were only six days until Nick returned to the ranch.

Only six days of life as she would never know it again.

She recalled her attempts yesterday to put some distance between them. She avoided the passageway and kept to the main staircase.

She had spent the longest afternoon of her life tying lengths of tulle with white bows to create a continuous banner that would run down the length of the country club driveway to mark the "happy occasion".

"What do you think?" asked Nick's oldest sister and she unfurled the finished creation through the double doors of the adjoining room.

Sara could only think about how wanted to run to Grissom.

But she steeled herself to the task at hand, confident that all her years of waiting in silence for him had given her enough willpower to overcome this latest hurdle.

Only now she knew for sure this was a battle she would not overcome.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Gil, on the other hand, blamed himself totally for Sara's planned avoidance.

He had just left without a word, angry that she wouldn't let him stand up to Lillian, disappointed that she seemed to dismiss the most obvious chance to put an end to the whole engagement charade.

Yes, Nick would be hurt. Gil understood the hole in your heart that occurred when Sara stepped out of your life.

But she loved _him_.

She had said it.

And Sara wouldn't lie. Not about that. Not to him.

So he wandered patiently around the ranch house, steering clear of the henfest in the main den area.

Moving towards the stables, Gil smirked slightly in remembrance of the last few times he and Sara had visited there, under cover of moonlight.

In the daylight, the stables were even more impressive.

Watching the horses, he was reminded of his idea.

He wanted a trainer to give Sara riding lessons.

While this was by no means a unique gift, on many levels he knew she would be impressed.

She loved horses so much, but her fear of them seemed deep-seated and irrational.

Gil knew enough about horses to realize they were gentle if treated correctly.

He also knew that if you just spent enough time around them, you would get to know their rhythm, their pace, and you effectively would bond with their _heart_.

Once they let you in, you would know just how to handle them to keep them happy and contented.

Reaching the fencepost, leaning forward to watch a trainer teach a one-year-old to trot, Gil breathed out gruffly and silently wondered if that maxim applied to people, too.

"Thinkin' of ridin?" asked a figure decked out in chaps and a Stetson.

"Actually, I was looking for someone to give a riding lesson to a friend of mine," Gil responded, amazed again at how coincidence (Sara would call it kismet) always brought him what he needed most at the time.

Again, he took a minute to wonder if "kismet" would bring Sara to him – after all, he reasoned, he needed _her_ more than anything in his life.

He spoke to Billy about the reason he wanted Sara to have lessons. Gil knew she loved horses, they made her happy, Buttercup in particular.

Billy told him to bring Sara around after dinner any night and he would see what he could do.

Figuring this as an excellent conversation starter, Gil went back to the main house determined to find Sara.

Looking around, he noticed that Nick's sisters were packing away material and clearing the workstation.

Not finding Sara, Gil ducked into the kitchen to find Emma Anne.

They had not spoken a word since her intervention in the morning.

Emma Anne responded sweetly as Gil thanked her for saving Sara from what surely would have been a nightmare of a showdown.

He had to admit to himself that, while taking down the old battle-ax, Sara would have been put in the middle of a confrontation she just may not be ready to handle.

He asked Emma Anne if she had time to check in on Sara, as he was concerned enough about her to worry after not seeing her all day.

While dinner wouldn't be served for about an hour, Emma Anne had time to expertly guide through the passageway and knock again on Sara's door.

Not wanting to pressure Sara into seeing him, Gil motioned to Emma Anne not to let Sara know he was standing outside.

Not being able to see her, he was surprised when he heard their friendly maid gasp and hurry forward into the room.

Sara had wearily deposited herself on the floor by the balcony, curled up into the tightest ball she could manage.

At first, Emma Anne reacted as she suspected Sara had injured herself.

Pulling her new friend to a sitting position, she allowed Sara to lean against her shoulder, stroking her hair softly.

"What is it, Sara?" she asked, looking around feeling guilty but proud to use her name just in private.

Wearing her heart on to sleeve, Sara found herself sputtering, "I ..am losing.. the only.. man I have every _loved_."

Gil stood outside, somewhat shocked. _Did she mean Nick? or Me?_

He didn't move from his clandestine vantage point, needing to hear Sara's story without prejudicing the truth because she knew he was listening.

"I don't think I can do this…" she sobbed, as Emma Anne stroked her hair to calm her.

"Do what, Sara?" the maid asked, confused but patient enough to wait until Sara was ready to explain.

Sara as babbling almost incoherently: "I have to hurt him…he won't understand…he won't under_stand_…he'll hate me…I'll hate myself…there's no way out…no way out…no way out!"

By now Sara had righted herself angrily and was first pounding her fist on her knees before beginning to pull on her hair so violently that Emma Anne was afraid she'd yank a large section out by its roots.

By now the maid was desperate to help Sara, but didn't know where to begin.

Her eyes frantically searched the doorway for any signs of Gil.

In that split second of watching Sara fall apart before his eyes, two major truths revealed themselves to a crestfallen Grissom.

1. Sara loved him.

2. Sara seemed to be saying she loved him enough to say a painful goodbye.

Slightly in shock, he stood paralyzed as his overly-analytical brain was taking in this sudden, dramatic change of fortune.

His scientist's mind formed one hypothesis: _Something or someone was so threatening to Sara that she would sacrifice her happiness to protect herself or someone else._

_Who was threatening Sara?_

_And who was Sara protecting? _

_Herself? That seemed quite out of character for her to destroy another person to save herself._

_Me?_

Gil looked upon Sara's pain while her previous ranting played again and again in his memory.

"_My lord…Sara thinks that by ending our relationship she's protecting _me!_...I can take care of myself!…why does she think I need protection?...and just _who _is threatening her?"_

That train of thought ended when his eyes met Emma Anne's frantic glance.

Gil moved swiftly into the room from the quiet passageway and was at Sara's side within a few paces.

"Sara!...honey, what's wrong?...Sara!...SARA, STOP THAT!" his voice rising as he spoke, realizing she was so deep in despair she may not have heard him enter.

At the sound of his bellowing, Sara halted her pulling motions but refused to look at him.

Gil gently pulled the rest of the hair from the entangling edges of her grasp, then grabbed her into a tight embrace.

Emma Anne was in tears at this point, and simply left the two of them to sort it all out while closing the door gently behind her.

Feeling his body quiver as he tried to keep his emotions under control, Sara reveled in his proximity before the truth of their situation came crashing down upon her again.

She tried unsuccessfully to pull herself away, sobbing, "No, Gil…you don't understand…I can't do this anymore…we can't…"

"Sara! Calm down, honey…I know…I know all about it…" Gil spoke quietly, hoping his low tones would help her relax.

_He knew? What the hell does he think he knows?_

"No…you don't understand -" she began again only to be interrupted a second time.

"I do, Sara…I honestly do, honey…" Gil spoke as he stroked her back and pressed her closer to perhaps glean some of his strength through their embrace.

She looked at him with wide eyes, and he marveled that he could fall in love with her all over again.

Pressing her palms against his chest, she swallowed the lump in her throat that threatened to strangle the release of any sound.

Refusing to look into those icy blue eyes that adored her with every glance, Sara took a deep breath and stated simply, "I _am_ going to marry Nick."

She waited for the protests.

She waited for him to thrust her away into a painful loneliness.

She didn't expect his response.

As Sara had been rambling, Gil's heart was breaking and ordering him to release Sara and let his own grieving begin.

His mind was telling him to examine the evidence more closely and devise a plan to overcome whatever obstacles were in the way of them being together.

In an uncharacteristic move, however, Gil Grissom ignored both his mind and his heart.

Gil was now faced with two facts.

1. Sara was going to marry Nick.

2. Nick was not going to arrive here for seven more days.

He had no strategy to overcome these facts.

He had no desire to browbeat Sara with pleading and cajoling.

He had only seven more days…

While he spoke, he released her enough to allow him to settle onto the floor propped up against the closed French doors leading to the balcony.

Properly supported, his strong arms gently pulled Sara's lithe frame squarely onto his lap, then tucked her head lovingly under his chin.

She could hear his heartbeat racing.

_Something monumental is happening…_

"Sara…please…just listen to me."

He hugged her tighter as he began.

"I lied to you."

At that Sara stiffened. _He doesn't really love me?_

Gil continued, "I know you are going to go ahead with the wedding. I told you I would accept your decision. But…"

_No, Gil…please don't ask me to change my mind…I might really lose it if you do that…_

He lifted her face to meet his, waiting until she looked into his saddened eyes.

"But?" she whispered anxiously.

Gil took a deep breath. His heart was screaming at him to stop. His brain was on overload wanting him to reconsider this emotional suicide.

Gil ignored their warnings and continued, "But…Nick isn't due to be back here for seven more days."

She waited, wondering where he was going with this.

He reached down and kissed her lovingly and then rocked her world with his next statement.

"Until her gets here, you are all mine."

Spellbound, all she could do was watch him as he continued.

Smiling tenderly at her, he continued, "I will assist you all I can with any daytime preparations you will do for the wedding. We can spend all day together with Lillian and the girls if you wish. But…" this is where his plan unfolded,

"From midnight until dawn each night, you are mine, " and he kissed her a bit harder before she could protest.

"We'll spend our time going to the stable, out riding in the pasture-"

"In bed?" Sara shocked him as she came on board with the plan.

He kissed her with wild abandon and they did not speak for several minutes.

Coming up for air, he placed his forehead against hers. Suddenly his remarks were heavily laden with resignation.

"Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we may die," Grissom quoted with a sigh.

"Sara, when I look back on my life, I don't want to regret that I had seven days to rejoice in my love for you, _with_ you, and wasted that time running away to lick my wounds."

She was shocked as she listened, guaranteed she continued to fall deeper in love with this man ever moment she spent in his company.

He took her face in his hands and kissed her softly on the forehead, the tip of her nose, and lingered over her lips.

"When I die, I want to be able to look back on the time that, for seven days, you were mine…"

Her resolve shattered and she flung herself into his arms,

wanting to bury herself inside of him,

wanting to tell him how she wished they could be together forever,

wanting to tell him…

she _hated_ Nick for what he was doing to her.

But Sara couldn't speak, she just held onto him as if releasing him would somehow end her existence.

And, in many ways, when the time came – it would.

However, for this moment, as the dinner hour loomed over them, these two stayed locked in their embrace that masked the ugly truth that this plan threatened to make their parting even more heart-shattering than either could imagine.

For now, it was enough that in a few short hours, she would be his.

The magic of the midnight hour would find her transformed:

from a shell of a person preparing for a life of loneliness,

to a woman who was adored and cherished – until the light of a new day separated her from a man who loved her to such a degree that he would make her peace of mind a priority.

Eventually, they pulled themselves from their seated positions and headed for the passageway.

Nearing the kitchen, to avoid detection Gil turned to head towards his room to regroup before joining the family for dinner.

Before they parted, however, Gil pulled her closer for one last kiss.

Releasing her, he kissed her on the tip of her nose and whispered, "Until midnight, my dear?"

"Until midnight, my love," Sara whispered, hardly able to contain her giddy smile.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Now, as the rain pelted the windowpanes and the sun had unequivocally risen behind the threatening storm clouds, Sara mentally placed the first notch in her mental countdown calendar.

After their midnight meeting in the passageway, they had walked to the stables, and continued down to the lower 40 before Gil noticed Sara shivered lightly and he insisted that they return to the warmth of her bedroom.

She had laid her head on his chest as she lay perpendicular to him on the queen size bed.

They had talked for hours, moving from one topic to another, reveling in their nearness.

Interspersed with these conversations were half hours spent in heavy necking sessions, Gil being careful not to leave any marks…in places noticeable to the eyes of the general public.

Sara sent herself a mental reminder to button her shirts all the way to the top button…

Around 5 a.m. Sara had been talking about how she loved the aria they were listening to on the PBS radio station, when she noticed Gil had drifted off.

That is how she found herself watching him sleep for over an hour.

But the irreversible truth was that their "magic hours" were over, leaving her with wonderful memories of his touches, his words…his romantic rounding of "third base"…

Sighing, she kissed her way from his chest, to this neck, to his wonderful lips…she could get lost in those lips…

Focusing on the painful task at hand, she forced a smile before kissing him again and whispering, "Wake up, sleepyhead…sun's out…somewhere…"

The sound of the rain made this comfy bed almost too alluring to leave.

But leave he must, because he had promised himself never to make their parting harder on her.

So Gil squeezed his eyes to hide his pain, then opened them to find her invading his personal space.

He was a willing prisoner.

Recalling their pact, however, he placed his legs and hands into a martial arts position that gave him the ease to flip her onto her back, making her giggle hysterically.

There was a crushing kiss that probably lasted a bit longer than he expected, thanks to Sara yanking his curls to keep him situated there

And then…it was time for goodbyes…

She kept her tears from falling as they walked hand in hand to the entry door of the passageway.

Giving her one final hug, he kissed her again, speaking with the strain showing in his voice, "Until midnight, my dear?"

"Until midnight, my love," Sara whispered as he quickly turned and raced down the passageway, not wanting her to see his distress.

Her palms fully opened and firmly pressed against the varnished wood, Sara closed the door just as her cell phone chirped from its resting place by her bedside table.

Her initial instinct was to fling the door open and rush after him.

As she could visualize Nick's impatience with every unanswered ring, Sara's mind raced and her heart cried out for him.

Finding herself glued to the spot, she leaned into the door, resting her head on the back of her outstretched palms as in her despair she cried softly, "Oh, Gil…"


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Happy Memorial Day! Thanks to all of you who left remarkable reviews and have supported this story by reading. As a holiday present to jenstog, I have included one of her ideas at the end of the story. : ) Hope this pleases. (Someday I will tell you about my inspiration for this chapter…)…You remain terrific. Next update by midweek. –Kathy

Sorry I don't have time to reread and check for errors…all mistakes are mine…

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COUNTDOWN: DAY 5 (daybreak)

They lay facing each other, sharing one of the king sized pillows on Gil's bed.

Their hands intertwined between their nearly-touching faces, Sara's eyes twinkled brightly before Gil heard the lilting sound of her laughter.

Smiling, he joined in with a soft chuckle. The afterglow of their lovemaking was even better now than earlier in the day…

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Having finished her conversation with Nick at dawn, Sara had settled herself uncomfortably into the cottony comfort of Nick's bed.

Her discomfort was more emotional than physical.

She missed him already.

He had been gone less than an hour.

Sara wondered what her life with Nick would be like – without the comfort of her midnight getaways with Grissom.

Sighing, she shut her eyes against the loneliness of these thoughts. She never did reopen them.

Tiredly, she had drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

The nightmares came, distorted images of Nick and Lillian dragging her away from city lights…away from her life with Gil.

Waking in a sweat, Sara found her body overtaken by the shivers she had experienced earlier that evening.

Truth be told, she was not feeling as well as she hoped after these few days of rest.

_Rest._

_I remember resting. Sleeping even. But those days seem to be gone. It all seems to be gone…_

If asked, Sara probably could trace her last full night of rest to the Christmas evening of her engagement.

_How had this gotten so screwed up? I do have feelings for Nick. I do._

_But after being here, spending time with Grissom…I realize I don't love Nick…not that way…_

_but he will hurt Grissom…I can't let my selfish desires ruin everything he has worked for…he'd hate me…_

_I'd hate myself…_

With her rest time consisting of less than two hours of disturbing dreams, Sara began her second day of limited restorative sleep.

She rose, showered, dressed, and went down to dining room for some hot tea.

Meanwhile, Grissom wasn't faring much better.

His departure from Sara was much more difficult than he imagined.

_Could I really do this? Was I being fair to Sara? If I find it difficult to _breathe_ just saying goodbye to her for the day, can I really believe I can say goodbye to her_ for good?

He struggled with that idea, lying on top of the covers of his king-sized bed.

He closed his eyes, seeking refuge from the thoughts that plagued him, but found himself overwhelmed by the images of her smile, the memories of her light scent, the burning joy of stroking her lily white skin…

Too tired to struggle against them, these thoughts morphed into dreams so painful he found himself sitting bolt upright an hour later with cheeks wet, arms achingly empty, and a heart racing in despair.

Shaking himself mentally, Gil rose, showered, dressed, and found himself on his way to the family dining room for a hot cup of coffee to soothe his troubled heart.

He found her sitting in the high back chair closest to the fireplace, which Emma Anne had lighted in an attempt to help warm Sara a bit. This was not the first time in days that the maid had seen that involuntary shiver.

She wondered if Sara was feeling alright. Knowing better than to ask her directly, Emma Anne decided to talk to Logan about her concern.

When Gil wandered closer towards her, he noticed how drawn she looked and secretly wondered if she was sharing in his symptoms of withdrawal.

Pausing briefly to snatch up the teapot from the well appointed serving cart, he stood behind her and began to refill her almost empty herringbone china teacup.

"Uh…thanks," Sara acknowledged the gesture quietly, her gaze absently focused on the rising tide inside her cup.

Looking around and noting they were alone, Gil leaned forward until he was right behind her ear.

"You're welcome," he sighed as he inhaled her freshly showered scent.

He knew he would carry that scent in his memories forever. Somehow he felt uplifted by that thought - that somehow a part of Sara would be with him no matter how short these few days would be.

She reacted immediately to the sound of his voice.

Sara was out of her chair, whipping her body around to face him.

They stood so close, and yet so far away.

She only wanted to crawl up inside him, feeling him loving her, protecting her from the reality that soon she would be committed to an unwise marriage.

He only wanted to wrap his arms around her, protecting her from the hurt he feared he had inflicted upon her by his selfish needs.

It was fourteen and a half hours until midnight.

It was going to be a _long_ day. But…

right now, Gil couldn't break her gaze.

right now, he couldn't think about anything but kissing her.

right now, he couldn't care less who saw them.

Without further thought, he stepped forward and grasped her weary frame into a bone-crushing hug.

Feeling him pressed so close to her, instead of robbing her of breath, actually helped her breathe easier than she had since their earlier goodbye.

He kissed her fully, delighting at the feel of her lips on his.

Wisely, however, he did not increase the pressure of his lips. He had been down that path before.

And here in the family dining room was not the place to lose his way going down that path.

He squeezed her lightly once more, and then with a kiss on the forehead, stepped back to pull out her chair for her to reseat herself.

Smiling over her shoulder, she just shook her head and let out a heartfelt, happy chuckle.

This was the scene when Logan and Lillian entered the room: Gil pulling out the chair for Sara as she looked over her shoulder in a grateful, happy gesture.

Logan, having spoken with Emma Anne, focused on Sara with a critical, concerned eye.

Lillian, having other motives, did the same.

"Sleep well, sweetheart?" Logan began, dropping a kiss on the top of Sara's head before turning to pour a cup of coffee for himself and Lillian.

"Uh…" Sara began. She loved this man. In the short time she had known him, Logan Stokes had become more of a father to her than she had known in her lifetime.

She didn't want to lie to him.

Logan placed his wife's coffee in front of her and then turned to seat himself next to Sara.

"You look tired, darlin'. Feelin' okay?" he asked, moving the back of his hand gently over her forehead and cheek.

"The rain…it always makes me tired," Sara said guardedly, knowing this was a truth that didn't necessarily have bearing on his query.

Logan's hand rested a moment on her shoulder. Sara expected a royal reprimand about not taking adequate care of herself before the "big day". She had heard it all before during her stinted conversation with Nick.

Logan's continued silence caused Sara to turn and look at him.

Their eyes locked for what seemed like a forever moment.

_She's hurting…but I don't think it's all physical…_

The raising of his eyebrow was met by Sara's famous "I'm fine" smile.

Knowing he had arranged his time off for the next week that would culminate in the wedding, Logan was immediately sorry he had a full docket today.

He realized Lillian may be driving Sara too hard to complete the nonsensical trivial details for this "perfect wedding day" she wanted for her only son. And his wife.

Glancing at Sara who seemed desperate to have the spotlight off her, Logan coughed slightly and stood ostensibly to refresh his coffee.

By the time he turned around he was smiling in satisfaction as the answer came to him.

Moving to sit next to Lillian, Logan surprised Gil as he asked, "So, Gil, do you have any plans for today?"

"Uh…not really, just relaxing some, perhaps a walk to the stables," Gil answered, looking at Logan first, his gaze moving to Sara as he mentioned the stables.

"GREAT!" Logan shocked the table's occupants and he brought his hand down heavily onto the linen-covered tabletop.

"Gil…your job, should you choose to accept it –" at this reference to the old TV show _Mission: Impossible,_ Gil smiled, Lillian's eyes rolled, and Sara laughed aloud – a sound pleasing to both men at the table –

"is to be sure my lovely wife here doesn't run Sara too hard today. I want you to keep Sara company today, and promise me you will _force_ her to take a nap this afternoon..." he continued.

Rushing to cut off Sara's protests, Logan leaned forward in her direction before ending in a smiling, emphatic message, "…_using…any…means…you…feel…necessary_!"

Sara's jaw dropped. No one had ever issued such a caring ultimatum, not towards her, not ever.

Her gaze dropped as she fought for control. She _was_ tired.

She gulped her tea before snapping her head in mock-irritation and teasingly glaring at Logan spit out, "Fine!..._dad_…"

Logan sat back, appeased. Gil looked at both of them as if he had entered an alternate universe.

Sara would be his and his alone from midnight until dawn.

And now…

Now…he had a job to babysit his love during the entire _day_?

And make her take a nap "using any means necessary"?

In a debate at that moment, Gil would have given an atheist a real run for his money.

Lillian began to protest in earnest.

As usual when it came to Sara, her protests were heard and dismissed.

And that is how Gil and Sara had found themselves seated in the back of Logan's Buick LeSabre headed to shop with Lillian for Sara's trousseau.

Nick's oldest sister Julianne joined them on the Avenue after they dropped off Logan at the courthouse.

Gil guided the car into the valet parking and left the keys in the ignition as he stood to open Sara's door for her.

Lillian pulled Sara ahead on the sidewalk to walk with her. Gil sighed. _This was going to be a fun day._

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In actuality, it _was_ a fun day.

Gil hated shopping.

But he loved mind games.

And he was determined to win this game against Lillian.

So he found subtle ways to catch her glance, to brush his hand against hers while insisting on carrying her purchases, to stand next to her in the elevator.

Lillian fumed, but Gil looked innocent the entire time.

Once he turned and spoke to Lillian directly, asking about a monument they had passed on their way to their fifth stop of the afternoon.

Lillian stuttered before answering. Gil looked intently into her eyes, hanging on her every word.

In full investigative mode, Gil was using all the body language techniques that were effective in getting even the most reluctant witness to speak.

Sara sped up slightly, before she was overcome with a fit of giggles.

Seeing Lillian on Gil's "hot seat" was a bit more enjoyable than it should be.

He was unrelenting, pelting her with continuous inquiring comments.

_Oh, he's enjoying this far too much_, Sara grinned and actually felt a little sorry for Lillian.

Sara slowed her pace and finding herself alongside Gil again, she narrowed her eyes a bit before saying pointedly, "Could we perhaps find somewhere to grab a water bottle, or something?"

Lillian, grateful for the reprieve, lunged Julianne forward towards a corner restaurant insisting she needed a break as well from the shopping trip.

Staring ahead as they walked behind, Sara felt his hand on the small of her back as he leaned and said, "Message received, dear. I'll give her a break…for now."

Her only response was to slow slightly and move back a bit into his embrace.

He opened the door for the ladies, and felt Sara's hand full on his as she passed before she entered the air conditioned establishment.

Now, they were headed for their first argument of the day.

He insisted she needed to eat.

She insisted that she was old enough to know when she was hungry.

He insisted that she needed to order something to eat, or he was going to call Logan about her stubbornness.

She insisted _that _was blackmail, and attempted to level him with her icy glare.

Lillian was delighting in this exchange, wondering if she had been wrong to worry about this man's intentions. He certainly didn't act like a lovestruck interloper.

Julianne observed that they sounded like an old married couple.

As three sets of eyes heatedly wiped the smile right off Julianne's face, she went back to examining her menu, using the tall, leather-bound sheets to hide her from their displeasure.

Lillian joined her, raising hers to completely cut off her view of the two arguing adults across from her.

Her motherly instincts knew Gil was right.

She wanted to find out how to handle this snip of a woman who could argue a dog off a meat wagon.

But as she listened for the "magic words" that would make Sara concede the point, Lillian could not see Gil using his real "secret weapon".

Sara was still glaring at him, when he simply looked up at her.

Never releasing her gaze, he reached under the table and took her hand.

"Please," he mouthed, his concern for her written in his expressive eyes.

Despite herself, she found herself smiling back at him.

He squeezed her hand before releasing it, then calmly added, "Please, Sara. Just something to keep your energy up. Besides," Gil raised his eyebrow wickedly and calmly added with an evil wink,"We can't know what Lillian has up her sleeve for us for the rest of the afternoon."

_You are unbelievable, mister!_ Sara's headshake spoke loudly just as Lillian lowered her menu and glowered at an innocent looking Grissom.

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It really wasn't planned.

But a Sara Sidle pushed a bit too hard was bound to create a backlash worthy of memory.

And so it happened with Sara and Lil.

They had been shopping for negligees, nightwear that would be functional (Sara insisted) as well as _breathtakingly_ _beautiful_ (Lil insisted).

Gil was uncomfortable in this department for two reasons.

1. It was hard not to imagine Sara in his bed wearing any of these amazingly sexy outfits.

2. It was harder for him not to imagine Sara wearing them in someone else's bed.

That is why he didn't look at her when she told him she was heading off to the dressing lounges.

This multi-leveled boutique offered these larger rooms, equipped with stereo system, plush upholstered lounger, mirrored walls, bottles of Evian, and a shoe closet stocked with various styles and heel heights. They had locking doors for total customer privacy if you wanted to imagine how you'd look in different scenarios.

Rolling her eyes, Sara's eyes searched for Lillian and Julianne. Not spotting them in her field of vision she reached where Gil was standing with his back to her.

He almost yelped in surprised as Sara grabbed him by the upper arm and secreted them away together into the hallway of the dressing lounges.

Slamming the door behind her, she turned and faced a speechless Grissom.

_I can't believe I just did that. I just wanted a moment with him away from _her_ prying eyes._

Wanting to follow her lead, Gil just stood there, his deer in the headlights look replaced with something more …intimate.

Suddenly shy, Sara turned and closed her eyes before speaking softly.

"Gil…I.-"

A sharp rapping on the door caused them to snap their heads to exchange a panicked look.

_What have I done?_

"Sara, dear," cooed Lillian as a saleswoman smilingly strode by.

"I thought perhaps you might need some help, dear."

By now, Grissom knew the gig was up.

He tried desperately to find some kind of spin to put on this situation that would not make it so awkward for Sara.

When her glance went from the door back to Gil, Sara was speechless.

He shrugged slightly, and mouthed, "I'm sorry, honey," as his eyebrows scrunched in agony at their plight.

Here was the man she loved, who was more worried about _her _right now than about the embarrassment _he_ would have to endure.

_And all because of that stupid cow, Lillian._

Gil felt the transformation before he actually saw it.

The decadent surroundings took on an airless state, much like the calm before an explosive storm system devastates an area.

Watching Sara set her jaw, he put out his hands to prevent her from doing something she might regret.

But Sara would only have good memories of this moment.

His outstretched arms soon found themselves catching the catapulted sweater and bra Sara had until that moment been wearing…_rather nicely, actually_.

Unable to move, he watched in horror as Sara marched the five paces to the door.

Flinging it open with some ceremony, Sara's face did not reflect the immense satisfaction she had at making Lillian Stokes speechless for one of the few times in her life.

Standing naked from the waist up, Sara placed both hands on her hips and stated loudly, "Lillian, I have been dressing myself since I was four. Do I honestly _look_ like I need help?"

Watching the color drain from Lillian's face, Sara just smiled, and closed the door loudly, the lock unceremoniously pounding itself into place – leaving the shell-shocked woman to turn and exit the hallway quietly in search of the first available armchair.

Gil could only shake his head at Sara as she moved towards the stereo system and cranked up the volume to a salsa tune.

Feeling immensely satisfied at finally getting the upperhand in one skirmish with ole Lil, she turned towards Gil.

His arms still outstretched and draped with her previously worn garments, Sara started to sway seductively towards him.

She suddenly saw her clothes dropped to the plush carpeted surface and found herself being whisked off her feet, a trail of kisses from her neck to her mouth and back as Gil laid her softly onto the soft surface of the lounger.

As the beat of the music increased in volume and intensity, so did the pattern of their lovemaking.

Careful to shed the rest of their clothing as they needed to join the others soon, Sara thought she would perish under his loving gaze.

There was not much time for foreplay, nor was any needed.

_She was here. She was beautiful. And lord help me, I love her._

_I just want her to know that I love her, no matter what …and no matter what will happen…_

He hadn't planned to make love to her, for the first time, in a dressing lounge.

But today made him realize these extra minutes with Sara were a gift…and you didn't look a gift horse in the mouth.

It was perhaps the most beautiful expression of that everlasting kind of love that was ever created.

Every kiss, every touch, every sensation of limbs and skin desiring to become like one flesh…

They rode the wave of ecstasy together, with Sara clinging to him willing him not to release her just yet.

They lay on the indulgently sized lounger, watching as the large clock on the mantle- reflected in the mirrored walls- mocked them.

It seemed to Gil that they had now slipped into the world on the opposite side of the Looking Glass.

And it was now time to return to the Real World, because if Lillian discovered he was there with Sara, she would be screaming, "Off with his head!"

The thought made him chuckle, yet no amount of pouting would make him disclose his thought to Sara.

He wanted nothing to cause that happy look to leave her eyes.

Even though, in a remote corner of _his_ heart, a small pain was starting to grow.

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Everyone was tired from their shopping as Gil drove home in silence, listening to Lillian making a list of what was left to be done before "her Nicky" came home in a few days.

He glanced unnoticed frequently at Sara, who just sat with her eyes closed in the backseat.

He knew she was awake by the tiny furrow in her brow, the one that always worried him a bit more than he liked to admit.

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This is how they found themselves facing each other at half past the magic midnight hour.

Sara continued to bask in the enjoyment of that encounter with Lillian.

And then, with her encounter with Gil.

Neither of them will ever forget what they did, where they were, what she was wearing…

Sara's smile hesitated for a moment, and Gil picked up on it instantly.

But Sara used her widely successful trick of distracting the conversation away from her.

Since this afternoon, she had some _new_ ideas on what would successfully distract the man lying her with her.

Locked in their heated embrace, one thought crossed Sara's mind.

She was going to throw away that shirt.

She didn't think she could live with the memory of the joy that bit of clothing brought her today.

Not if the memory couldn't include him.

Soon enough, their time would be ending.

But tonight, in this magic time together, Sara would make a special kind of memory.

The memory of his hands, lovingly petting and stroking her.

The memory of his lips, kissing her roughly, passionately, longingly…lovingly.

The memory of their intimate union, their movements in sync with their increasing depth of love for each other, causing her to cry out softly in perfect bliss, "Oh…Gil…"


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Saturday storms prevented me from sending this earlier, so I worked on it a bit and made it extra long. Hope it pleases. Thanks so much for the many reviews and continued support of all those reading. Next update soon. You remain great! -Kathy

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COUNTDOWN: DAY 4 (late afternoon)

Knowing they would spend the entire day together again, Gil had returned to his room that morning at dawn with the promise to meet Sara for a late brunch.

While he wanted nothing more than to keep her wrapped soundly in his protective embrace, Gil could not ignore the signs that Sara was overtired and in need of sleep.

After all, she _was_ here to recuperate.

His body ached to hold her, and his thoughts were consumed by her touch, her scent, the memory of their whispered longings.

But as he threw back the covers and slid inside the comforting coolness of his bedtime lair Gil heard an internal sigh escaping from his still-healing bruises. He had fallen asleep almost on contact with his down-filled pillows.

Sara, however, was finding sleep a bit more elusive.

She paced around Nick's bedroom, peering through the French doors leading out to the balcony without really seeing the splendor of the ranch in early morning.

A sizable shiver racked her body, and Sara turned to grab a blanket to wrap around her.

Instead, she spotted the LVPD sweatshirt Gil had discarded after their middle-of- the-night stroll to the stables, which had become their clandestine ritual.

Smiling, she donned the oversized sweatshirt.

It made her feel warm, happy, and…loved.

She loosed her arms from their domains and, sneaking them out from the oversized opening below, finagled the cotton blend arms until they were knotted tightly around her body.

Slipping her arms back inside the warmth of the garment, Sara sighed happily.

_It feels just like when he wraps his arms around me._

Moving wearily towards her own sleeping chamber, Sara eased herself down under the blankets which were stilled mussed from their lovemaking which had ended only a short time ago.

With some doing, she replaced the covers over her and plopped her head onto her own down filled pillows.

The comfort of the bedding, coupled with the feeling of safety found through his imagined embrace, made Sara relax and fall quickly into a healing sleep.

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Gil had sent Emma Anne to check on her after Sara had not appeared for brunch, but their friend returned smilingly to report Sara was still dozing.

Actually, "snoring softly" was the actual phrase she had used.

To this, Gil smiled -

first, for the private knowledge that he personally had caught that sound several times throughout the years and, though Sara would kill him for speaking it out loud, never failed to find it one of the most endearing secrets he kept about her …

but more seriously, for the knowledge that she had seemed a bit frail the last few days and was now getting the sleep her healing body needed.

Logan will be pleased, Gil thought, his heart lifting a bit at the memory of the older man's protective streak when it came to Sara.

_He loves her, he worries about her…but…there is something else…_

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Gil let Sara sleep undisturbed that day, which is how a furious Sara Sidle came stalking up to him on the veranda at a half-past four.

Her hair was tossed into a sloppy ponytail, her clothes were newly unfolded, her face was angelic – her eyes were lethal weapons.

She seemed so angry, she could hardly speak.

She seemed so irritated, her presence exuded frustration.

_And yet, she is still so beautiful…_

Gil looked up calmly from his crossword.

He had been sending Emma Anne to check on her periodically so he knew she was getting the rest her body required for recovering from her ordeal.

He had been anticipating her arrival from the last report he had received, expecting her to storm in and shout, "WHY did you let me waste the entire day, Gil?"

He did not expect the spectacular display of emotions suddenly overwhelming those chocolate depths.

Failing in her attempt to keep her feelings in check, Sara's voice betrayed her resolved as it quivered,

"WHY did you let me _waste_ the entire day that I could have spent _with you_, Gil?"

He found he had no response.

It never occurred to him that he had let an opportunity to be with her just slip through his fingers.

His head had simply blocked out the truth that the countdown clock was ticking.

His heart had simply decided some eleventh hour miracle would help them be together forever.

Reality now intruded harshly, stomping heavily on his head and his heart.

A moment later, he was enveloping her in a soothing embrace, running his hands lightly up and down her spine, totally uncaring as to who might see them.

"You needed sleep, Sara. Don't look at it like a lost day, honey. You needed _sleep_…"

Sara burrowed herself deeper into him, accepting the soothing gesture as she fought to regain control over her emotions.

"No…I needed _you_…to be with _you,_" she whispered so low Gil could barely hear her, although she was directly in front of him.

"And I see you finally _got _some sleep," a voice from the doorway interrupted.

Sara froze in Gil's embrace.

But Gil surprised both her and himself as he found his grip on Sara tighten instead of self-consciously releasing her as he would have in the past.

Gil looked Logan squarely in the eye before speaking.

"Sara seems to think that sleeping for an entire day is a waste of good vacation time," Gil responded as he continued to run a soothing finger up and down her spine.

Logan moved towards Sara, his hands joining Gil's in a reassuring motion on the opposite side of Sara's back.

Waiting to catch her gaze, Logan smiled into Sara's slightly embarrassed eyes and said, "Don't be angry with Gil, darlin'…he's just taking care of you the way you _deserve_ to be cared for."

And that is how Lillian found them, Sara cradled securely in Gil's arms with Logan also massaging her back gently and speaking so softly.

Déjà vu overwhelmed Lillian and she found herself in need of a seat.

Perplexed, Logan moved towards his wife and reached out his hand to envelope hers.

"You alright, Lil?" he asked in a concerned manner.

Lillian Stokes looked at this man whom she had loved since her college days.

He had been the only person she had really ever loved.

And she had been determined to make _him_ love _her_.

In this nanosecond Lillian recalled all the ways Logan _had_ honored his married commitment to her.

However, as the painful memory was now unexpectedly recalled, Lillian realized once again that Logan had never looked upon her with eyes filled with a love like she had seen him express to another on that night.

Not with the barest hint of the storehouse of love he kept locked away and buried below the surface…

Not with the unmistakable tenderness _that_ kind of love demanded of his every word, his every touch…

Logan Stokes had been a good husband, good provider, perhaps even a good friend, but…

…he had never looked at her with eyes filled with a love like that…

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Nick sat in the locker room, his head in his hands.

His hand throbbed a bit from having collided angrily with his locker door earlier.

_How could she have done that? How could a mother do that to her own children? They were just babies!_

Nick had worked the case solo at the start, but had been joined by Sofia as the details seemed to coalesce on their own to weave a tale so diabolical it had stunned even the most jaded of veterans.

Now the mother had confessed to him about the murders, and was on her way to lock-up.

Nick's already troubled psyche had unraveled a tad more.

_Was it too early to call Sara?_ He needed to hear her voice, wanted to share the details of this horrific case, ached to hear the comfort she always managed to provide after cases like these.

They had always been best friends.

He knew they always would be.

And now, she was going to be his best friend and wife _forever_.

Ten days.

Four more days until he would leave for home, and six days until their wedding day.

The thought did not bring the expected release from his current morose state.

Instead, Nick was slumped forward, soul searching.

Had he rushed Sara into this?

He knew if he chanced proposing alone, she might have said she needed more time.

He knew that by giving her the ring with everyone else around, she would have felt the pressure to accept.

He had played the odds and won his prize.

But Nick Stokes was not a stupid man.

In the deep recesses of his mind, Nick knew Sara even now was not 100 sold on the idea of _being_ married, let alone secure in the notion of marrying _him_.

But _he_ loved _her_.

And he was sure once they were married he could _make_ her love _him_.

That thought brought a smile to his face.

He would let nothing stand in the way of their happiness together..

A slight cloud passed over him, as the thought of Grissom's reaction to Sara's accident brought a slight furrow to Nick's brow.

He sat a bit straighter.

He set his jaw determinedly…he would let _nothing_ stand in their way…

"Going in for Round Two?" a sultry voice asked from behind, yanking him out of his thoughts.

"Sofia! I – I didn't hear you come in…"

Patiently waiting for him to continue, Sofia tossed her blonde lengths over her shoulder without comment.

Looking down at his now-slightly bruised knuckles, Nick just sighed and merely offered, "This case…."

Sofia slinked over and settled herself a bit haughtily next to Nick on the department issued bench.

"You just have to let it go, Nick. She did what she did. You just have to let it go," Sofia stated in an efficient tone.

She was infamous in the department for her detachment to the cases she worked on.

Most high-profile cases saw her assigned for just that reason.

Calm, cool intellect kept her focused on the goal without the "annoying" emotional attachment that plagued most of her colleagues.

Sofia had been raised by two veteran police persons. She understood detachment.

Her childhood had been about expediency, not dependence.

Her upbringing had been more about working to "perfect a project" than about "raising a daughter".

She had not known the kind of family life Nick had, instead she had all the glamour and glitz and not very much of the "heart".

So now as an adult, she was not about emotional attachment.

Her relationships were about the conquest, not the feelings.

If Sofia wanted something…or someone…they were her primary goal.

But as what always happened, once she was victorious in her pursuit, the personal sense of adventure diminished.

Then she would set her sights on the next goal.

Sofia was good at getting what she wanted – by any means.

She just wasn't good at knowing what to do with it when she got it.

Right now, Sofia was between "goals".

In her eyes, Nick looked like he could use some comforting right about now...

And so it was that Sofia and Nick found themselves seated across from each other in a small Italian restaurant just off the strip…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Meanwhile, having finished supper together, Lillian had retired with a small headache and Logan left the table a few minutes later to check on her.

Alone at last, Gil smiled at Sara from across the table and remembered the surprise he had arranged a few days before.

"Sara," he breathed as he stood, coming around to pull out her chair, "grab a jacket and come with me!"

Sara moved towards the knotty pine coat rack near the front entrance and had just finished slipping on the outerwear before grabbing Gil's outstretched hand.

She could see he was excited about something, and Sara felt her own curiosity peaking.

Moving swiftly down the well-worn path to the stables, Sara looked inquisitively at Gil who only shook his head, remaining silent.

Reaching the corral, Gil stopped abruptly – a movement which caused Sara to sway like a pendulum in motion around to the front of his body.

Catching her in his arms, they shared a brief moment as he leaned forward and pecked her lips. Keeping his eyes glued to hers, she was taken aback as he startled her by yelling, "Billy!"

Billy smiled as he hustled out of the stables. He wondered if today was the day Gil needed those riding lessons "for a friend".

Sara's mouth locked into open position as Billy spoke.

_Riding lessons? Gil asked him to give me riding lessons? Just for _me_? _

Gil beamed as Sara hugged him, then nervously turned to Billy to express her deepest fear.

Billy would have none of it.

He continued to speak to her as he backed up into the stable, his booming voice echoing through the stable door.

"…and there's nothing to worry about a beauty like this one!"

Sara smiled into Buttercup's eyes. Both men were certain the horse smiled back.

Glancing towards Gil nervously once more, she moved towards Billy to accept the training helmet and padded vest he offered.

Not usually part of a new rider's gear, Gil had quietly insisted to Billy beforehand that Sara needed to wear some protection to pad her injuries should she suffer a fall.

Now, Grissom moved towards her to help her don the safety gear. He smiled as he snapped the helmet's flaps under her chin.

Billy smiled as a casual Gil moved forward and pecked Sara's upturned, smiling lips without reserve or embarrassment.

Helping her mount the horse, Gil admired Sara's practiced ability to remain calm on the outside while her previous proximity caused him to feel her heart thundering in her chest.

Billy led Sara around the pen, and for the next half hour he watched her follow Billy's directions with the same attention to detail that made her so valuable to him in the lab.

Gil couldn't help but release a small laugh upon hearing her scream for him as she faltered once or twice, while he calmly assured her he was right there if she needed him.

His smile dimmed upon reflecting on her action.

_She calls for me when she's scared or worried…but what about after Nick comes…_

_Will he be the one she calls for? _

_Will he be the one she will trust enough to know she _can _call for? _

_What if Nick isn't the kind of husband Sara needs?_

_What if Nick won't love her like she deserves to be loved, won't support her to use all her amazing gifts, won't encourage her to become all she can be, not just some stereotype of who he wants her to be?_

"Gil Grissom!"

He was startled out of his worry by Sara's laughing voice located mere centimeters from him on the other side of the corral.

"Welcome back!" Sara teased as Buttercup moved her mouth to lean on smoothed plank supporting Gil's crossed arms.

"Sorry, I –I got carried away…" he simply stated and inhaled deeply.

Sara was thoughtful for a moment, as if she could see right through him.

"Hey," she said softly and smiled at him lovingly.

Gil returned her smile fully and he found her eyes teasing him as she asked, "Wanna race?"

"Sara! You aren't ready to-" Gil began but was interrupted with Billy's admonishment.

"She's a natural there, Gil…" Billy began and placed both palms up facing Gil before he had a chance to be interrupted.

"If you go with her, I'm sure you'll find Sara here can handle herself just fine. Besides," he gave Sara's horse several pats on the hindquarters, "Ole Buttercup here will take good care of our girl."

_Our girl._

Sara blushed and Gil smiled broadly.

_She just doesn't understand how men instantly are so taken with her. _

_She's just so sincere, so humble, so…wonderful… _

…_Nick doesn't know how lucky-_

Gil turned away quickly to help Billy saddle up his horse. Right now, looking at Sara was not an option, not until he could silence the sound of his breaking heart.

Sara had spent the time talking with Buttercup, and by the time Gil had mounted his steed even he had to laugh at her relaxed posture.

_She is so amazing…and I love her…_

Gil took a deep breath. If they only had a few more days, then he wouldn't spend them mourning their situation.

Like a condemned man, he chose to concentrate on enjoying these last few days of his life instead of dreading their inevitable end.

Billy stood in the middle of the stable's entryway, waving goodbye to a happy Sara as she called her thanks and turned to ride down the path leading to the lower forty, Gil keeping a close eye on her handling of the reins.

From behind him, a voice sounded quietly as it left the confines of the shadowy stables.

"Will she be alright going so far on her first time, Billy?"

Without removing his eyes from her retreating form, Billy answered, "She'll be fine, Logan. Besides," he turned to face his boss and longtime friend, "Gil's with her. And he'll make damn sure nothing happens to her."

With that, Billy returned to the stables leaving Logan smiling wistfully at the pair as they ascended the knoll that led towards the pastures.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

An hour later, Sara was still maneuvering Buttercup expertly, even managing a small gallop downhill which caused Gil to inhale sharply before matching her horse's stride to reclaim his protective stance alongside her.

He knew she would love horseback riding, but had underestimated the depth of her joy.

She had not stopped talking since they embarked, almost giddy in her range of topics.

_She's happy…I made her happy…I have been such a fool…If only…what I wouldn't give for the chance to make her happy for a lifetime…_

His musings had left him distracted for several minutes. Gil was startled back to reality as he suddenly realized he was riding alone.

Whipping around frantically, Gil reared the horse and called for it to hurry as he began to retrace his steps.

Outside a less-traveled entrance through the thicket that lined the riding trail, Gil could hear Sara's soothings to Buttercup.

His heart calming, Gil steered his horse through the overgrown path and discovered the reason Sara had chosen to take a break.

The scene was breathtaking, like something out of an artist's canvas.

The pond was foamy with algae, large lily pads floating gracefully on the turbid water.

The water surface shimmered with rays of the approaching sunset, and the ripples of fish swimming just beneath the surface made for lovely, interconnecting rings dancing in a lazy rhythm.

Except for their breathing, silence filled the air.

"Wow," Gil exclaimed softly at the scene, causing Sara to turn and flash him her 100 megawatt smile.

"I wondered what happened to you, _mister_! Didn't you hear me calling you?" she teased.

Gil dismounted and moved to embrace her. He tried to dismiss his earlier thoughts. He just needed more time…

Urgently, he pulled her to him.

No, it wasn't the midnight hour – it wasn't _their_ time.

But here, in the midst of this serenity, he was_ making_ it their time.

He had played by the rules his whole life.

Now, the rules were killing him.

_Perhaps ignorance really _was_ bliss._

His hands sliding down her back were tugging upwards at her shirt.

Surprised but delighted, Sara began working on his shirt as she wondered if this were all some wonderful dream.

Tomorrow would come soon enough; she loved the way she was totally desired by him.

She loved the way he was becoming more aggressive in wanting to spend time with her.

She loved…him…_totally_.

Divested of enough clothing, Gil quickly undid the bedroll that was still attached to his saddle.

He lay it expertly on the ground with one shake, then deftly grabbed a shrieking Sara and tossed her lovingly upon it.

She laughed as he went to work kissing every inch of her from her head to her toes.

"If I get a mosquito bite on my butt, mister, there'll be hell to pay!" she professed in mock-distress, only to be silenced by his lips pressing firmly into hers.

"If anything is going to touch that lovely butt, Miss Sidle, it will be these lips," he answered before grinding himself into her legs, causing them to spread invitingly.

"Gil," Sara whispered as she sought more contact.

Hearing her sigh was his undoing.

After a brief period of rolling, stroking, and joining together in a forceful union, they relaxed against each other.

Gil rolled her over him and continued to kiss her cheeks, her hair, her eyes, and her lips softly until pulling her close.

As the sun was setting overhead, they both wished this moment would never end.

That was when Sara first heard Buttercup whinny deeply. Concerned, she looked at the horse and wondered why it had begun acting afraid.

Gil also noticed his horse backing up as if it wanted to leave the area now.

That was when they felt it.

First a drop or two, sounding in the thicket more than being felt on their skin.

Suddenly, a Spring rain storm was upon them, pelting them with buckets of rain.

Gil looked to the sky, and while there were still streaks of starlit patches, there definitely was a swift moving front over them now.

Panicked for a second, Gil relaxed as he noted Sara losing the battle with her clothes, simply putting her underwear in her pockets. Her protective gear was soaked and of little use to her now.

Mostly, Gil watched in amazement to see that she was laughing.

Dripping wet, water pouring over her curls making them thick and tight, twisting with arms stretched out to catch the falling raindrops, Sara looked adorable.

He helped her mount Buttercup, then heaved himself into the saddle before taking her reins and leading them out into the open pasture.

They would have continued to enjoy this showery ride back to the ranch if it had not been for the thunder.

Horses are spooked by thunder, and Sara glanced worriedly over to Gil the first time Buttercup tried to bolt.

If Gil had not been holding her reins, surely Sara would have found herself toppled off her saddle.

He said nothing to her, concentrating instead on keeping both horses calm.

Up ahead near the next patch of uncut forest the family used to log for timber, Gil spotted their salvation.

A small hunter's cabin, probably used for refuge from a storm similar to this one, loomed ahead.

There was even a covered mini-stable attached to the one room shack, complete with posts to tie the horses away from the elements.

Securing the horses, Gil and Sara moved quickly inside just as a lightning flash hit the ground in the middle of the pasture. They had arrived here just in time.

Once inside, Sara looked for and found matches to light the twin oil lamps on the table.

Gil was already checking the fireplace flue and loading some kindling to make a small fire to chase away the dampness.

He turned to notice her hands were shivering as she tried to move the match flame to the wick.

He was alongside her in a heartbeat.

"Hey, let me help," he said steadying her shaking hand.

"Thanks," she said, trying to pull away so he wouldn't worry about her now uncontrolled shivering.

Gil was smarter than that.

He pulled her close for a minute and then led her to the oversized chair near the fireplace.

He helped her sit, and went back to work on the fire. Within minutes, Gil had a roaring fire going, bigger than originally planned but Sara was in need of warming so he put on some extra kindling.

Next, he helped her stand and remove her wet clothing, placing them on hooks built into the hearth.

He removed a new blanket from its shrink wrap, one he had located on the shelf nearby.

Gil swiftly rummaged through the kitchen area, finding two dish towels which he now used to attempt to wring some of the water from her curls.

The combination of the roaring fire, the snuggly warmth of the new blanket, and Gil's soothing attempts to dry her hair was too much for Sara, and she found her eyelids getting heavy.

He worked without speaking, worriedly squeezing and separating her hair until after a few minutes he felt the curls were starting to dry.

It wasn't until a soft sound issued from her that Gil stopped and realized she had fallen asleep.

He looked around the cabin with a more detailed eye, and decided to pull the small couch closer to the fire from its place near the only window.

Having arranged it to his satisfaction, he reached under her knees and behind her back to gently lift her and move her the few yards to the reclining comfort of the couch.

He stood over her, placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

Outside, the storm raged on with no signs of stopping for the next several hours.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Back at the ranch, Logan stood looking towards the stables from his vantage point of the large bay window of his top floor study.

The power to the ranch had been cut by the storm, causing only the lights from the emergency generator to illumine the stables.

He could see Billy pacing near the doorway.

Logan sighed and prayed that Gil was taking good care of Sara.

With a heavy heart, Logan poured himself a scotch and sat down in the overstuffed leather chair near the bay window.

Closing his eyes, he could see Anna dancing and twirling with arms stretched out as the cloudburst threatened to drown them both.

_Her hair was wet and her curls were so saturated they hung tightly to frame her beautiful face._

_We found the cabin and started a fire…we almost made love that night, but she had thought it too soon._

"_We have all the time in the world, my darling," Anna had said, "I'm not going anywhere…"_

One tear escaped from the tightly closed eyelids as he tried unsuccessfully to rid himself of these memories he had for years suppressed.

Not a word escaped his throat, but his mind was crying out, "Oh, Anna…"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

At about that same time, Gil was shushing and attempting to wake up a clearly frightened Sara who was combating the demons of her nightmare.

"Shh…Sara…wake up, honey…it's okay…I'm right here…shh…you're okay, honey…I'm right here…I have you, honey…please, wake up…Sara…it's okay…I'm here…I'm right here…"

Sara continued to fight against the two forms that threatened to drag her away from the city lights, away from her home...away from Gil.

He continued to hold her and soothe her until her eyes suddenly startled awake.

A desperate sob overtook her whole body, as she clung to him, shakily whispering, "Oh, Gil…"


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: PROFOUND apologies for the delay…SINCERE promises to continue to update often until the story is finished…HEARTFELT thanks for all who review and support by reading…you remain great…hope this pleases… -Kathy

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COUNTDOWN: DAY 3 ( 5:30 a.m.)

Sara stared off into oblivion from her resting place as she curled up at the bottom of the bed.

_What had happened? How had her life gotten so…out of control?_

Her mind replayed the events from time they first noticed the storm had ended, around 4 a.m….

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Awakening from her nightmare, Gil had soothed her with his attention – holding her tightly while rubbing her back in comforting touches.

Whispering softly, Sara relaxed and found his lilting tones easing her back to sleep.

After about an hour, she remembers him calling lovingly to her to wake up, but she resisted. She knew two things: 1) she never wanted to lose this sense of total protection she felt in his arms; and 2) she was so tired, she just wanted him to continue to hold her while she slept, here, in their undisturbed retreat.

Gil smiled at her, his joy in their proximity causing his heart to swell with happiness one minute – then break again when the reality of their situation closed in on him.

Three more days.

He started to disavow his belief that miracles still happen.

Leaving a trail of feather soft kisses across her closed eyelids, Gil couldn't help but chuckle at Sara's adorably pouting mouth.

Couldn't help but be mesmerized by her endearing pucker as she silently fought with his attempts to pull her out of her now-peaceful slumber.

Couldn't help but wanting to kiss those lips…as a starting point…

He shook off his amorous thoughts as he realized the clock was ticking. If he wanted to spare her from Lillian's wrath, he needed to get them back to the ranchhouse before the family stirred from their rest.

Yet, he allowed her a few more minutes to shake the sandman's booty from her sleepy eyes.

In fact, he allowed himself a few more minutes to imagine…to imagine what it would be like to awaken her like this …everyday…for the rest of his life…

He was so far into his thoughts that he was not aware of Sara's gaze on his troubled countenance.

She took this moment to study this man whom she adored.

He had always been such an enigma to her.

A man who had spent his entire life weaving a persona of guarded disinterest in those around him, a man who was incapable of relating to others on anything more than a basic, stilted level of engagement.

He had carefully crafted this façade of being an uncaring, unfeeling misanthrope who reveled in relating to insects instead of humans.

But now she knew the real Gil Grissom. He _did_ feel. _Deeply_.

And he could be _hurt_ because of these feelings. _Deeply_.

She would do anything to spare him the pain that was drawing nearer with every tick of the clock.

Three more days.

Sara's time in foster care has taught her an important lesson: _No matter how hard she believed in the fantasy, there was no such thing as a miracle._

Still, as she lay here in his arms, gazing at his handsome profile locked into a thoughtful glance, Sara found herself wishing she still believed.

Somehow her hand found its way to his face, causing him to shudder before locking his eyes onto hers.

And this is how they sat, he combing his fingers lazily through her hair while she gently stroked her fingertips along the line of his beard.

After what seemed like forever, Sara gulped back an emotional cry as he cupped her face and sighed, "We better be heading back."

Had a jailor come to begin her final steps towards the electric chair, the adrenal rush through her body would not have been greater.

"Please," she began as she leaned up to protest his rising, only to be silenced by a kiss.

His eyes would not meet hers, as he tried to be strong for both of them.

"We still have three more days, sweetheart," he whispered with emotion as he now was standing and pulling her to her feet.

Having straightened up any mess they had made while she had slept, Gil now squared his shoulders and forced himself to the doorway, opening it and standing in wait for her to exit their hideaway.

He squeezed his eyes closed as he felt her approach from behind, slipping the mask on before she stood in front of him.

She smiled meekly in acquiescence, and he kissed her forehead without looking directly into her eyes.

He avoided her glance, knowing that he could be resolute only if he did not succumb to the power of her gaze.

He had lost himself in her.

He would soon be lost without her.

But he steeled himself in certain knowledge that he had three more nights to create the memories that would have to last him a lifetime.

He helped her mount her horse, more out of necessity to touch her than from her actual need, and reached out to grip her hand.

Holding onto each other's hands as a lifeline, they simultaneously glanced over their shoulders at the cabin before disappearing through the canopy of overgrowth that led them back to the trail, to the stables, to their impending heartbreak.

xxxxxxx

Meanwhile, Logan had showered and dressed in jeans, boots, and flannel shirt before heading down to the stables.

He found Billy dozing on a rocker that had been placed just inside the entrance, positioned to reveal a perfect view of the trail Gil and Sara had used before the storm assailed them.

Not wanting to disturb the slumber of his longtime friend, propped up his shoulder on the weathered planks of the doorway, Logan stood with his arms crossed protectively against his chest.

Try as he might, he couldn't protect himself from the memories.

These days, everything reminded him of Anna.

The pain he had hidden away for years had resurfaced with a vengeance. He worried it might consume him this time, as it had threatened to do in those painful days after his marriage to Lillian.

Happily, his thoughts were distracted as he heard the hoofs pounding up the trail before he could actually see them.

Gil and Logan locked eyes for a moment as he refused to release Sara's hand until the horses had made their way into the warmth of the stable.

"Thank goodness you are alright, darlin'," Logan began moving instinctively towards her to help her dismount.

"I'm fine, really, Dad," Sara said, still delighting in being able to use the title towards this man whom she loved.

"We stayed in the cabin until the storm left," was all Gil would offer as he, too, made his way towards Sara.

"I'm so glad you found it. I was worried the path would be overgrown and you might miss it," Logan replied while keeping his arm around Sara, needing to reassured she was alright.

Gil knew he was being unreasonably emotional, but a jealous streak surged inside him as he watched Logan hugging Sara to himself as she reacted with a genuine smile.

_I want to be the one to comfort you, hold you, protect you, _Gil raged mentally.

He felt a bit ashamed at his reaction.

_Sara deserves to be loved, deserves to know how much people care for her…deserves to have the love of a family…_

He felt his eyes close purposefully for a long second.

…_all the things that I can't give her…_

His musings were interrupted by the sound of Billy's voice behind him.

"Hey! Dammit, but you had me worried!" the horse trainer spoke excitedly.

"See there, Logan? I told ya Gil'd take good care of her!"

"And he did, Billy," Sara began, then turning to Logan said, "He took good care of me, honestly, Dad."

Logan was silent for a moment, causing Gil to wonder if the expected chastisement was about to begin.

Instead, he realized Logan had all but forgotten he was standing there, as his body was totally focused on Sara.

Squeezing her a bit as his arm rested across her shoulders, Logan smiled into Sara's adoring eyes and said, "Just as I knew he would, darlin'…just as I know you deserve…" he ended, pressing a kiss into her hair.

Straightening a bit, but not removing his contact from Sara, Logan looked at the two men across from him and said, "But there's another hour or so 'til sunup, why don't we get some sleep before we have to deal with what today brings?"

Billy shouted his goodbye and Logan, Sara, and Gil headed towards the house.

They went only a few yards before Logan heard Billy call for him. He smiled at Sara and turned back towards the stables.

That is how Sara and Gil found themselves alone as they entered the kitchen of the ranchhouse.

As the heavy oak door swung quietly into the dim light of the room, they could hear the soft chiming of the mantle clock in the family room announcing that it was 5 a.m.

Expecting to be alone, Sara was giggling softly as Gil was reminding her quietly about the possible reasons she would have an itchy mosquito bite on her backside when both of them halted their motions and their speech.

Having stepped into the doorway, Sara instinctively pressed her back into Gil's chest as they came face to face with a blustering Lillian Stokes.

Gil placed a protective hand on Sara's shoulder as Lillian practically screamed at her, "EXPLAIN YOURSELF, YOUNG LADY!"

Angered that she was using this tone towards Sara, Gil went to speak before he was rudely dealt with by an obviously angry Lillian.

"JUST SAVE IT! I WILL LET NICKY DEAL WITH _YOU_ WHEN HE GETS HERE!"

That thought made both Sara and Gil freeze. Just what was Lillian saying?

"That's _right_!" she glowered at Sara. "I called him. Told him you probably ran off somewhere together," Lillian smirked wickedly, knowing by Nick's reaction that Sara was indeed _in trouble_.

Sara opened her mouth to protest, but couldn't bring herself to speak.

Lillian didn't relinquish the floor, as she was enjoying her "outing" of Sara's scandalous activities.

"Stop it, Lillian!" an angry Grissom spoke, feeling the tension in Sara's shoulders and knowing her reaction to previous confrontations with this woman.

"Sara is not to blame here," he seethed, but was cut off with a wicked laugh from Lillian.

"Oh, I'm sure you are nothing BUT to blame here," she replied, her obvious disdain for Grissom apparent in her words and mannerisms.

"Blame for what, Lil?" asked a seemingly unaware Logan as he stepped around Grissom and came fully into the kitchen before stopping in front of a stunned Lillian.

"Logan?" she gasped, trying to comprehend what was happening before her.

"Lil?" Logan asked innocently, not letting on that he had overheard most of his nosy wife's tirade as he had stood for several minutes in the darkness just outside the kitchen's screen door before finding the perfect time to enter the room and deflate Lillian's tirade.

He turned to Gil, his eyes widening a bit in signal to him before he spoke. "What is happening around here?"

Before waiting for Gil to respond, Logan reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of women's leather gloves, handing them to Sara.

"Oh, and sweetheart, Billy said you forgot them in Buttercup's saddlebag."

Still mute, Sara accepted the gloves without comment.

Logan turned back to Lillian who by now was lowering herself into a kitchen chair.

He had no intention of lying to his wife, having made that promise so many years before, but he also had no intention of offering information either.

Turning back to Gil he said, "Well, I know that storm took a lot out of me. You two did a good job of taking care of the horses. Better turn in now, get a shower and some sleep. I look forward to seeing at dinner tonight!"

Gil and Sara had not moved since Logan entered the room. _What had just happened here?_

Wanting to get them as far from Lillian as possible before she could ask them any more questions, Logan moved forward to pull on Sara's hand as he led her to the main stairway.

"Get some rest, darlin'." he said in a fatherly tone. Leaning to embrace her, he whispered in her ear, "Don't worry. I'll take care of everything." With a kiss on her forehead, Logan moved her up to begin her walk to her room.

Meanwhile, Gil had stood glaring back at Lillian for whom he almost mustered some pity. Almost.

The woman looked as shell-shocked as most crime scene survivors he had encountered.

But he was loathed to forgive her attack on Sara. And what price would Sara have to pay now that Lillian had phoned Nick?

Gil's pulse raced as emotions surged throughout his being. He hated this woman for ruining what was indeed, up until that point, a night to remember. But Lillian's outburst had changed that category into a night he would never forget.

Realizing it was just a little past five o'clock, an angry Grissom was now determined that he would indeed claim the last hour of what he selfishly termed "their time".

No longer caring if Lillian was or wasn't watching, Gil decided he _was_ going to be with _his_ Sara until their magic time was officially over. He wasn't going to let _anyone_ stop him.

He took one step towards the back stairs that everyone agreed was the shortcut to his bedroom, but his anger made him pause.

Glancing at a confused but still speechless Lillian, Gil swerved his shoulders away from the staircase that led to his bedroom and swiveled his body so he was now headed towards the large spiral staircase that led to the bedrooms of the main house.

That led to Sara's bedroom.

Lillian was sitting there, unable to answer a single question that was torturing her reason.

_Where had they been?_

_Had they been alone together?_

_  
Why had Logan and Billy been there?_

_Had they indeed been nothing more than friends helping in the stables because of the power failure?_

_Something felt off._

_But Logan…he was there…how could she have been that wrong?_

_This was much easier when Nick had dated their friends' daughters…_

Logan had reappeared into the kitchen to fetch a cup of tea for himself and Lil.

If nothing else, Lil had always been a good mother. While he hadn't always agreed with her methods, there was no denying that her children were devoted to her.

She continued to try and protect them, as she had since their birth.

Over the years, Logan had often laughed at the "threats" Lillian had perceived against Nick and his sisters, but somehow…this was different.

Logan thought as he sat across from her, watching his tea bag steep in the steaming water, _"But was there _really_ something to protect Nick from this time?"_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Nick, please…no, Nick…" Sara was pleading as Nick was venting on the other end of the phone.

Gil was about to knock when he heard Sara release a shuddering sob. Angry that Nick was doing this to Sara, on "their" time, he twisted the doorknob and moved to enter before her words stopped him dead in his tracks.

"She's got it all wrong, Nick. I _don't_ love him…I don't _CARE_ what she said, dammit!...I don't _love_ him…Nick, listen to me please…I don't love _him_…fine, I will shout it from the rooftops…I. LOVE. _YOU_. ..._ONLY _YOU….NOW DO YOU GET IT?"

Sara was shuddering at the lies her mouth was professing.

Every time she had one of these encounters with Nick, she was feeling less and less like she would be able to go through with this "marriage".

When she first called him, he picked up on the first ring and she knew he had been drinking alone.

Nick didn't do that much, but when he found the need to drink in private, it was _always_ a sign that a storm was about to be released – and god help those who got in his way until he calmed down.

When he answered the phone on the first ring with his sarcastic remark, she knew he was _far _from being calmed down.

"You little whore! You think I wouldn't find out that you and Grissom have been playing footsies in the woods, sneaking off somewhere where you think no one would find out?"

"I've just been sitting here feeling like shit, Sara. And you know what else I have been doin'?" he asked as he downed another shot before refilling the glass clumsily with his free hand.

"I've been enjoying the slide show in my mind. Did you know that I can close my eyes and see Grissom in front of the judge, trying to squirm his fat ass out of the charges of sexual harassment against a female employee?" he laughed mirthlessly.

"That's what happens when someone takes what's mine," he added bitterly, downing another shot.

That was when Sara replied with the first words Grissom had overheard: "Nick, please…no, Nick…"

Had he overheard what Nick had been threatening, Gil would have realized that Sara was shuddering for the harm that was impending to the illustrious career that Grissom had worked so hard to forge.

She couldn't be the reason he lost his good name, his reputation, and most importantly his standing in the academic community because of his misunderstood actions.

She _couldn't_ be the reason, she _wouldn't_ let that happen to him…she _shouldn't _have to stay with Nick to prevent the damage from occurring.

However, Sara's childhood had led her through several hellish years and one inescapable conclusion: It doesn't matter what _shouldn't_ happen, you needto deal with the _reality_ in front of you.

That is why when Nick asked her to give him one good reason why he shouldn't dial the D.A. right now, Sara's mind was set.

She loved Gil Grissom enough to sacrifice her happiness so that his reputation would be secure.

That is why Gil heard her so forcefully state, "... I _don't_ love him…I don't _love_ him…Nick, listen to me please…I don't love _him_…fine, I will shout it from the rooftops…I. LOVE. _YOU_. ...ONLY YOU….NOW DO YOU GET IT?"

While she thought her heart could not break any further, Sara almost doubled over as she finished her animated profession into the receiver, only to be standing to find Gil staring at her from the doorway – mouth gaping, eyes staring.

She almost dropped the receiver as she watched Gil pull down the mask that had hidden him from her for all these years.

Without losing her gaze, he backed out of the room, allowing the door to close on him without ever removing his eyes from her shocked form.

There was silence on both ends of the receiver.

Sara heard a soft intake of breath before she heard the sound of the receiver hitting a padded surface. In the background, there was the sound of Nick's soft snore.

Tears flooded her cheeks as she ended the call and shut off her cell phone.

She threw the offending object across the room and watched it land softly onto the padded surface of the settee in the corner by the French doors.

Sara stared off into oblivion from her resting place as she curled up at the bottom of the bed.

_What had happened? How had her life gotten so…out of control?_

In the distance, Sara could hear the start of an engine. She raised herself from the bed and threw open the doors, racing out the balcony.

Like a scene from her recent nightmare, she stood on the balcony. Sara saw Gil behind the wheel of Logan's Jeep.

Now, as in her dream, she was frantically calling and waving for him to come back, desperate for him to stay with her.

However, Gil could not hear her over the angry roar of the engine as he slammed the gearshift to increase his speed. He needed to get away right now, clear his head.

_She loved Nick. She said it. He heard it._

_He always said he was not good at relationships; he was terrible at reading other people._

_But _this _message he had finally gotten loud and clear._

_She was so convincing, no one could lie with that much emotion._

_He had been deluding himself._

_His dreams had never been more than just that._

_His dreams were lost to him now._

_And so, apparently, was the only woman he would ever love._

_He _was_ too late._

Sara wanted the look he had given her in the dream. She wanted him to send her that look that always told her how much she was adored.

However now, as in her dream, Gil only drove farther and farther away, until he passed the far off mountains...and was gone from her sight.

Recalling the happiness of the previous evening, the pain of knowing he had overheard her forced admission to Nick overwhelmed her now.

Feeling as if she had no power in her legs, Sara collapsed to the balcony floor.

The clouds chose that time to resume their release of the cold Spring rain.

Clad in only sleeping shorts and a t-shirt, Sara lay exposed to the elements, her mind fogged by the emotional chaos that threatened to consume her.

She was only slightly aware of the shivering shudders that wracked her body, as she lay unnoticed on the cold stone of the bedroom's covered balcony, softly crying out, "Oh, Gil…"


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: I hope you can understand that the events of this Countdown: Day 3 needed their own chapters…Yesterday's posting was really part A, regrettably necessitating what some called a "cliffhanger"... Actually, today's posting is really part B of that story…It was the more difficult chapter to write, I found myself overcome once or twice at the imagery (I cry easily over angst, in movies and in fiction)…your reviews are amazing and those who support by reading are so appreciated…these two really get to me…but today, it isn't _their _story they wanted to share…hope it pleases…you are really terrific! –Kathy

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COUNTDOWN: DAY 3 ( 5:30 a.m.)

Sara was not the only person who had heard the Jeep's engine signaling Gil's hasty departure.

Having every intention of following Lillian's lead in returning to their bedroom, Logan was just finishing clearing away the last remnants of their early morning tea when the sound of the vehicle's roar made him furrow his brow and race to the window.

As the Jeep was housed in the covered parking patio right outside the kitchen's bay window, Logan managed to look directly into the top-down vehicle, catching a glimpse of Gil before he zoomed off into the hills.

Witnessing the sight before him made it seem no less surreal.

_Had he not just left Gil and Sara less than half an hour ago?_

_Why would Gil rush off wearing _that_ expression?_

Logan recognized that look. He himself had donned the expression that night so many years ago.

That look of hurt.

That look of betrayal.

That look of…hopelessness.

His heart lurched and his first thoughts turned towards Lillian and what role she might have played in this current drama.

His anger flared at the memory of the many devious ideas Lillian had employed in their past to get what she wanted.

Logan shook off the memories and tried to focus on Gil's plight.

_What had happened to Gil?_

He was faced with two courses of action, and at the moment worried about which would give him the best answers - talk to Sara or go after Gil.

Dammit! If only he didn't have to leave for court in the next two hours! He knew his docket was full, what with the arranged vacation next week for the wedding.

Decisively, he glanced upwards in the direction of Sara's bedroom before sighing and grabbing his coat as he rushed out the oak door towards the ranch hand's garage.

--

Tracing Gil's path was actually made easier by the rain. The rich soil made for excellent grazing for the ranch's cattle. The deep roots of the pasture grass supported the lush greenery even when pounded by the hooves of trail riders.

Over time, a slight demarcation occurred on the paths most widely used, making a picturesque backdrop for lazy Sunday treks on horseback.

Being new to the ranch, Logan was sure Gil would have followed the paths. Any deviation would have resulted in wet grass depressions which would leave an easy trail to follow.

As the rain continued to fall, Logan would simply follow the new tire tracks, indicated by the rivulets of rushing groundwater burrowing into the newly created crevices.

Coming to the crest of the third large hill, Logan smiled at the site of the Jeep parked outside the overgrown trail leading to the cabin.

All indications pointed to Gil's failed attempt at hooking the canvas covering over the roll bars of the Jeep. He smiled as he realized his failure to mention that the aged material had some problems with the snaps, rendering the covering useless which necessitated its housing on the covered patio.

Today, Logan was grateful for the oversight in mentioning this fact. If Gil had not failed in his task, he might be long gone by now.

Entering the cabin, he noticed first the look of surprise on Gil's face before that same mask of despair claimed him.

He sat on the couch where Sara had napped, staring unseeing at the fireplace, some residual warmth barely emanating from the embers.

Logan pulled up a tall backed cherry wood kitchen chair, swinging it around deftly so that it landed as he plunked himself down sitting backwards on it, leaning his arms across the top of the crafted rungs.

Impatiently waiting for Gil to speak, Logan was aware he did not have much time to get to the bottom of this mystery.

"She needs you," he plunged headfirst into the dangerous waters of this discussion.

"She needs Nick," Gil answered bitterly, jumping to his feet to pace the area away from Logan, afraid of being emotional in front of this man.

Logan did not reply. As he looked at this broken man in front of him, his physical features morphed and Logan found himself numbly watching and listening to …Anna.

As Gil rambled disjointedly, his words seemed familiar – almost scripted.

Their familiar timbre brought back the chest tightness that took Logan's breath away.

And while they were words coming from Gil's grieving, Logan realized it was Anna's voice that crashed through the barriers of time…reaching out to him from their last, brief encounter.

_- "This is the chance for a real life, a real family…marriage will make everything fall into place…"_

_-"My own feelings…they shouldn't be considered here…it's what's best…it's what's should be…it's what – _is_ done."_

_-"I'm…not needed here any longer…I'm going away …to start a new life somewhere far from –"_

"NO!" Logan almost screamed, rising so quickly that the chair upon which he had been seated knocked over loudly to the floor.

Gil looked perplexed at this crazed behavior.

Looking around to be sure the outburst had been directed at him, he moved worriedly towards Logan and queried anxiously, "Logan…are you alright?"

Logan moved breathlessly towards the couch and sank down heavily, holding his head in his hands.

Gil moved to sit next to him, waiting patiently for the judge to speak.

Without looking at Gil, he heaved a sigh and began speaking so quietly that Gil had to strain to hear him at first.

He told Gil the entire story about Anna, how they met, how they fell in love, the plans they made, the pain of her departure, the agony of losing contact, the circumstances that led to wedding to Lil, his resignation to his losing the only woman he would ever _truly_ love, and his efforts to honor his wedding vows.

Gil's head bowed in silence. _He really does understand what I am going through._

Acknowledging Gil's silence, Logan shot him a brief glance through his watery eyes before glancing heavenward and shaking his head, laughing mirthlessly, "Married all these years. Thought I'd put it all behind me."

"But," he looked again at Gil, "seeing you, and Sara, the way she looks at you…the way you look at her…" Logan shook his head, "it's like seeing Anna and me all over again."

Gil sat straighter, shocked at this revelation.

"Surprised?" Logan asked him blue eyes locking onto blue eyes.

The judge chuckled half-heartedly, "Sara…lord, I think I've loved that girl from the moment I laid eyes on her," he smiled.

Logan leaned back onto the overstuffed couch back. "I sometimes look at her and think, 'If Anna and I had ever had a daughter…" he paused, swallowing hard.

"Anna was so beautiful, and she never realized it."

"Sounds like Sara alright," Gil added softly.

Logan continued, almost unaware of the comment, "Anna was incredibly smart, could discuss any topic knowledgably, had a wide range of interests. The kind of person you could never tire of being around. The kind of person you just couldn't help…" his voice broke off suddenly.

"Couldn't help but love," Gil spoke softly, completing the thought.

He looked up without meeting Gil's eyes. "Sara is so much like her."

After a pause to allow both men to breathe through the tide of emotion that threatened to engulf them, Logan continued.

"Don't get me wrong, Gil. I love my son. I _want_ him to be happy."

Logan sucked in a painful breath. "But he's…well, he doesn't make her _happy_, doesn't make her _glow_, doesn't make her –" he looked at Gil, "_smile_…not the way she does whenever she talks to you."

He slapped his hands loudly on his thighs, snapping his head in Gil's direction.

"It isn't for me to interfere. You, Sara, Nick – you're all adults. You all must make decisions that are right for _you_. However –"

Gil cut him off abruptly, "I'm going away. She loves Nick. I heard her tell him so over the phone. She didn't know I was there. When she noticed, she did nothing to prove she felt otherwise."

He couldn't continue speaking for a moment. The pain of overhearing that conversation made him momentarily wish he hadn't opted for the successful surgery to repair his hearing.

Looking over at Logan who was patiently waiting for him to continue, Gil found himself needing to know, "_How_ did you say goodbye?"

The grief-stricken look on Logan's face actually brought a tear to Gil's eye.

In that brief moment, a bond was forged between these two men, much like the bond created between survivors of the worst disasters. _You have to have been there to understand._

Surprising even himself, Logan related the story that up to this point he had never told a living soul, not even Lillian.

"_We were married here on the ranch. That day there was so much hubbub, telegrams arriving almost hourly, caterers setting up tents, orchestra members scurrying out from under the June sun, and the phone! Ringing incessantly. My brother dealt with the door, my mother dealt with the caterers, my older sister I remember parking herself on the phone bench – it was bedlam._

_I remember going off into the study and trying to get my thoughts off Anna._

_Here I was, on the day I was to marry Lil…and I was sitting for hours thinking about Anna._

_At one point, I even thought I heard people in the distance mentioning her name – I was _totally_ obsessed._

_Oh, the whole week before the wedding was a blur of outings, last minute details, dinner parties…all with my thoughts centered on Anna._

_To the outside world I was an anxious groom-to-be. My parents had a keener sense of my longing._

_My mother reminded me daily that week that there was 'no sense crying over spilt milk', that Lillian would help me achieve great things in my career, and I needed to 'get over it'._

'_Get over it'…like Anna was some sort of disease I could get over by taking a stiff drink!" _Logan spat bitterly. Gil sat patiently without comment as Logan replayed the encounter with his mother over again in him mind before continuing in a tight voice, which Gil recognized as his own when he was trying to suppress a wave of strong emotion.

"_My father, ever aware of our social standing in the community, had spent those last days reminding me I was an 'honorable' man. I knew my duty. I was resigned to my destiny._

_After the vows, the band, the cake, Lil and I drove off towards the airport to await our noon flight to our two-week Hawaiian honeymoon."_

Logan paused, wringing his hands tightly while taking a deep breath before continuing.

"_I was actually glad to be getting away from here. I needed to concentrate on my new life._

_A life without Anna."_

Logan paused to wipe away a stray tear that had meandered past his defenses.

_We stayed at the hotel adjoining the airport on our wedding night._

"_In the wee hours of that morning, I left Lil sleeping contentedly in our marriage bed – isn't that sad?_

_The first morning as a married man, and I leave my wife to take one more stroll to say goodbye to my memories of Anna._

_I walked for about a half hour until the airport began bustling with early morning travelers. Strolling around the coffee shop corridor, one couldn't help but hear the heated tones of an argument between a couple seated near the edge of the open-air café._

_My heart skipped a beat and my feet screeched to a halt._

_There they sat. My best man, Henry, in a heated debate with…Anna!"_

Gil could not contain his shock at this revelation. His whole body turned towards Logan as he sucked in a short breath. This caused Logan to smile wryly.

"_Great timing, huh?_

_Of course, I couldn't think of anything except holding her in my arms again._

_I raced towards her, shouting her name._

_But my heart stopped when she stood and gave me a look that halted my move towards her._

_My whole world reeled before me. That look…"_

"Love?" Gil asked hopefully, although on some level he already knew the answer.

"_Fear!" _Logan paused, the pain of that revelation being as sharp as it had been upon their initial encounter.

Taking a second to regain his composure, he looked despairingly at Gil as he let out a bit of a laugh.

"_My Anna was actually frightened of me!"_

His speech was breathless now, hurried, as if trying not to dwell on any one aspect lest he be consumed by the pain.

"_Henry started to speak, but we both hushed him and he took a seat._

_Anna asked what I was doing here, and where was my wife._

_My _wife? _"HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY WIFE?" I had asked her, brokenly._

_She rallied herself, squared off her shoulders, stood defiantly before me, but refused to look me directly in the eye."_

Gil sat there, listening enraptured, thinking how he had seen Sara engaging in those exact behaviors when she was trying to evade one of his direct questions.

"_She spoke, hesitantly it seemed to me, 'Look, Logan…I …hadn't expected to run into you here…I was just on my way…Henry seemed to have a sixth sense about finding me here…'_

_Anna had stopped talking then, as if she were afraid to say anymore._

_That was when I saw her turn to Henry for help._

_He stood and took her in his arms, running his hands lightly up and down her spine._

'_Logan, perhaps you better go,' Henry started but I angrily cut him off and lurched towards Anna._

_All I wanted to do was to hold her in my arms, profess my love, run away together. _

_I couldn't think, couldn't make myself believe, that I would never _be_ with her again._

_I didn't want to frighten her, she was trying so hard to put on a brave front._

_But I could see she was trembling, fighting back the tears._

_I remember I moved towards Anna, my hands joining Henry's in what I wanted to be a reassuring motion on the opposite side of Anna's back._

_After a moment, all my hopes were dashed when the announcement came over the loudspeaker that the plane bound for New York City was boarding._

_Anna had whispered to Henry. I remember he started to fight with her again, but there was something final in her stance – we all felt it._

_Henry grimaced and pulled her into a final hug, whispering snippets of something I could only think sounded like '…I promise...'_

_Wiping a tear from his face, Anna kissed Henry goodbye and clung onto his hand for an added second before he left without a word to me, stomping swiftly towards the men's room, and disappearing behind the door that had opened forcefully under the pounding of both his clenched fists._

_Anna wouldn't look at me as she gathered her small flight bag, almost as if she wanted to delay our parting but resigned as she always was to doing what she thought was for the best._

_Only I couldn't let her go this time._

_I snatched her bag and threw it down forcefully before pulling her towards me and kissing her as I had dreamed of doing these many years._

_For a moment I felt her respond, and my heart started to beat again."_

Logan paused, but was unable to regain his composure. Gil stood and walked towards the small window looking out at the pond that held a special memory of his night spent with Sara.

Listening to Logan, Gil began to feel a resolve forming in his gut.

He knew more clearly now that he never wanted to endure a heartache such as the likes of these events that have haunted Logan, sitting and recalling the painful events of a love that he let slip away.

Before he could dwell on the impact of that decision, Logan began to speak again.

"_The moment was cut short as the boarding call reverberated through the halls._

_Anna looked at me once more, as if memorizing my every detail - for the final time."_

He stood and walked over to speak to Gil directly.

"_Your words from before, Gil," Logan spoke quietly. "Almost exactly what Anna said to me that day."_

"_I need you," I said to her._

"_Your wife needs you now," she spoke through her tears._

_She wouldn't let me speak, placing the softness of her fingers against my protesting lips._

"_This is _her_ chance for a real life, a real family…marriage will make everything fall into place…you'll see!" she smiled weakly at me, as if willing me to believe it would be true._

"_My own feelings…they shouldn't be considered here…it's how it should be…it's _done_."_

"_I'm…I don't belong here anymore…you have a new life now…I'm going away …to start a new life somewhere far from –" Logan broke off his recitation of the words spoken so long ago, etched permanently into his heavy heart._

"Far away from you," Gil spoke almost airily, imagining himself trying to muster the courage to walk Sara down the aisle where Nick waited to marry her.

Gil's frustration boiled over, and before he knew it, he had angrily cleared the nearest end table of the few books that had been housed on it, sending them careening across the room and landing with a noisy thud.

The action brought Logan out of his reverie. He looked at Gil and they stood like that for a full moment before his face softened.

"_The biggest regret of my life is that I didn't go with her, Gil._

_I held her in my arms and begged her to go with me, but she didn't listen._

_She clung to me for another second, pushed me away, and just walked out of my life – without ever looking back."_

"What did you do next?" Gil whispered, overcome by his own emotional investment in the tale.

"_I was overcome with grief. I had just watched my life disappear around the bend in that corridor. _

_I sat alone for a few moments, glad that there was no one in the café. After a while, I didn't know what to do next. _

_I wanted to die. _

_But I knew deep down that Anna would blame herself if she ever found out I had been so reckless._

_And I loved her enough that I didn't want my overreaction to be the cause of a lifelong regret for the woman I loved._

_I sat there, slumped over in a polished chrome seat in an airport café._

_I was so lost._

_I hurt so badly, I almost forgot how to breathe._

_So I said a silent prayer, asking for guidance. _

_The next minute, I felt Lillian's hands running up my back and surrounding me in a bear hug._

_I was glad she didn't know what had transpired._

_I realized it was just as Anna had said. I had a new life now._

_So I stood and hugged Lillian, keeping the tears inside, and we walked wordlessly back to our suite._

_At noon that day, we got on our plane, and we began down the road to the life we have today."_

Gil shuddered at the thought of having to "begin down a new road". Suddenly, he needed to hold Sara in his arms. _Desperately_ needed to hold her close to him.

Logan, however, seemed oblivious to the change in Gil's mood. He began the final part of the story.

"_Two weeks later, we returned home to this ranch. No one ever spoke about Anna from that day on…except," Logan suddenly remembered with a weak smile, _

"_except on the last day I visited with my older sister in the hospital – heart attack at 65, lasted only a few days…_

_I remember being so surprised that she used her failing strength to grasp my hand and whisper, 'I'm sorry about Anna'."_

"And Henry?" Gil had to know.

_After that day, Henry never spoke to me again. Weeks later, I heard he moved to California and our friendship kinda died off._

Logan placed his hands on Gil's shoulders.

"I'm not one for interfering in people's lives, god knows Lillian does enough of that," he grimaced.

"I just want you to be sure to take advantage of these last few days to be sure both of you are on the same page with your relationship, Gil. I often wondered if I had just had more time to talk to Anna that day –" Logan stopped, knowing Gil understood the message.

_Time_, Gil thought, his body clock suddenly frighteningly aware that in less than 72 hours Nick would be arriving.

Snapping his eyes at Logan, his hand grabbed Logan's upper arm as he simply said, "Thanks."

With that Logan watched as Gil practically bounced out the door.

Sitting back down heavily on the couch, Logan could only smile as he heard the roar of the starting engine and the divots being displaced as the Jeep's tires dug heavily into the wet grass of the trail.

Logan sat back for a moment, closing his eyes briefly, his hand reaching out to bring the throw pillow up to his chest.

A second later, the silent room was witness to his smile disappearing as he moved to bury his head in the pillow, his body racked with heartwrenching sobs.

--

Gil had blazed a new time record for returning from the cabin. Almost not pausing to shut off the vehicle, he barged through the door into the kitchen where Jeremy and Emma Anne were beginning to prepare breakfast.

The greetings barely off their lips, both employees looked curiously at each other after watching Gil race up the back stairway, taking the steps two and three at a time.

Forcing the door into Sara's room wide open, Gil had not fully entered before he was calling her name.

He stood in the middle of the empty room. He froze.

_Sara, I need you. Where are you? What have I done? Please, help me find you! _ his mind screamed internally.

His attention was drawn to the slight breeze coming from the one French door that was slightly ajar.

Looking through the panes of glass, his heart stopped.

Sara's body was lying on the ground, unmoving. She obviously had been caught in the storm.

"Oh, lord, SARA!" his volume increased as his anxiety over the truth of her situation became clear.

Moving swiftly, he knelt next to her soggy frame, pushing the saturated curls away from her face.

Rolling her over as a single unit, Gil instinctively surveyed her still form for injuries.

Sighing upon finding no visible wounds, he leaned towards her, kissing her cheeks, her eyes, her forehead, whispering between puckers, "Sara…sweetheart…please come back to me…please come back to me…"

Within a moment, Sara began to stir. Without opening her eyes, her semi-conscious state created a confusion within her and she began to repeat his mantra, softly breathing, "…please…Gil…come back to me…please…Gil…"

He lifted her from the cold ground and moved swiftly into her bedroom.

Instead of pausing to place her on her own bed, he moved deftly through the passageway, hearing the door slam behind them as he carried her towards his room.

She was shivering as he carried her, as Gil continued whispering assurances that she would be alright and that he was there to take care of her.

Although his wounds from their initial adventure at the cliff had healed somewhat, his chest was beginning to pain him considerably by the time he reached the entryway to his room.

By this time, Sara had awakened enough to bring his face into focus.

He moved them quickly into his large bathroom, setting Sara down on the covered seat of the commode.

Within seconds, the hot water jets were pouring the liquid relief into the large Jacuzzi tub.

Sara watched him almost as if she were dreaming, seeing him remove her wet clothing from her shivering body with a bit of difficulty.

Moving out of the room for a moment, Gil strode to the bedroom door to close and lock it securely.

He did the same as he paused at the bathroom door.

Disrobing swiftly, he checked the temperature of the water before hoisting up Sara into his muscular arms and depositing her, a bit painfully for him, slowly into the hot tub.

Once he was sure she was seated and comfortable, he climbed in behind her, crouching so that he could place one leg on either side of her slender body.

He winced at the comfort the hot water sent to his injuries, and he grinned joyfully at the feel of her skin against him as he pulled Sara's body back with his strong arms entwined around her.

It wasn't really until he reached over to shut off the jets as the desired water level had been reached, that Sara fully understood that this was no dream.

Despite his attempts to keep her back against him, Sara squirmed sideways to turn her now-teary eyes to stare at his.

Noticing his eyes were brimming with emotion also, she waited for him to speak first.

Gil smiled weakly at her and managed to whisper only, "I will love you forever, Sara. No matter what."

That was Sara's undoing. She laid her head across his chest, weeping as he held her tightly.

After several minutes as she calmed somewhat, Gil proceeded to kiss her hair, her forehead, and finally to pull her sopping wet face towards him in an kiss that was so passionate, it left both their faces soaked with Sara's tears.

He splashed some warm water on his hand and washed her cheeks, continuing to dip and soothe until her face no longer bore a trace of tears.

They didn't speak, just lounged in the revitalizing waters, Gil stroking her back as he thought about Logan and how that broken man would give anything to be just like this with Anna now.

He knew their time was running out.

He knew he needed to talk with Sara.

But now, he was just content with the fact that it was still just the beginning of the day, a day they would spend together before their special "magic hours" would begin.

Sara thoughts mirrored her own.

She needed to talk to Gil.

She knew their time was running out.

But all she could think of was that he had come back to her.

He said he needed her.

He said he loved her.

And for now, the only response she could make, as he snuggled her closer to her special area where she "just fit" in the space under his chin, was a contented, "Oh, Gil…"


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: It is really early on Sat. morning. My family is asleep as we are heading out of town today for the Father's Day weekend. I am so enjoying writing this story, and I couldn't wait to continue with this chapter, as we are preparing to turn another corner in this story. Sorry I don't have time to reread, I will fix any errors when we get back. I know there won't be another update for another day or two, but this one is a bit longer. Thanks for your patience, your reviews, and your support of this story. Hope it pleases. You guys continue to be terrific! –Kathy

--

Countdown: Day 2 (daybreak)

Sara dozed happily in Gil's embrace. Sleep eluded him, however, as he struggled with the memory of the last two conversations he had with Logan. There had been the one at the cabin yesterday. And then, there had been their late hour discussion the previous night…

--

Yesterday, they had never parted, spending practically every second together.

As their first hour in the warming paradise ended, Sara had pleaded to stay a bit longer, her shivering still noticeable.

Gil complied with her wishes, concerned a bit about her continued tremors.

After partially emptying and refilling the Jacuzzi with hot water, they had just held each other and talked very little.

Near the end of the second hour, Gil noticed Sara having trouble staying awake. He kissed her soundly, rose from the tub and fitted his after-bath wrap around his waist, and then moved to retrieve his large cotton terry robe.

Helping her out of the tub, he draped the mountain of cotton fabric over her arms and body, securing the warmth with the tie belt before reaching over for a towel to wrap around her hair.

They had taken advantage of the fact that Logan had spoken in front of Lillian that he did not expect to see them until dinner.

Knowing Emma Anne would run interference for them, Gil pulled the king size, hand embroidered coverlet over them, tucking Sara in firmly as he could still feel her shivering slightly.

He implored her to rest, knowing she was still badly shaken from the events of the previous evening.

She had fallen asleep almost immediately, having asked him to keep talking to her so she could hear the sound of his voice and know he was truly there with her.

He spoke of his love for her, of incidents in the lab where he found himself in awe of her brains as well as her beauty.

When he was sure she was asleep, he found himself in need of continuing his monologue, secure in the fact that he would never be able to speak these troubled words directly to her.

He told her how important she was to him, how he had been hurt when he overheard her conversation with Nick.

He told her how she was _the_ most important thing in his life, more important than his job, even.

This fact, spoken aloud, made him stop and think about returning to Vegas.

How could he face her every day knowing they would never be together, that she would always go home with Nick…that she would _belong_ to Nick - _forever_?

Gil felt as if he was losing his mind in sorrow.

In that noontime hour, things were becoming clear.

There was _no way_ he could stay in Vegas.

There was no way he could _survive _returning to the lab if she married Nick.

And in eight more days, she _was_ going to marry Nick.

Gil was faced with what Catherine would call the "handwriting on the wall".

In that noontime hour, Gil wrapped his arms tighter around his love and drifted into a troubled sleep.

--

After dinner last night, Logan suggested that Gil and Sara accompany him on a trek into the timberland on the ranch.

Lillian had protested that Sara needed to sit with her and discuss hairstyles, manicures, and the bridesmaids' gifts.

For the umpteenth time this week, Sara realized she had pushed aside the reality of the wedding, having concentrated so much on being with Gil. This thought made her shiver slightly.

They began only spending the midnight hours together, and now were in each other's company almost continuously. And this made her happy.

The wedding arrangements should have been the highlight of a young woman's life, but now all Sara could do was endure them. And this made her troubled.

Gil took the matter in hand and announced to Logan that he appreciated the offer, but had no plans to go anywhere without Sara.

This comment made Logan smile, Sara blush, and left Lillian fuming.

So the men retired to the family room, enjoying each other's company by the fireplace while Sara endured Lillian's endless droning on and on until all matters were to her satisfaction.

Just as Sara was about to join Gil after a very long two-hour marathon with the mother-in-law from hell, the house phone rang with Emma Anne calling for Sara to take the call.

Perplexed, Sara went to the phone bench and stood, taking the phone from the maid who kept her eyes downcast.

Before she could speak, her heart seized as she heard the voice from the other end.

"WHY have you not been answering your phone all day, Sara? Having too much fun _without_ me? What the _hell _have you been up to that you can't take my calls?" seethed an unpleasant Nick.

Knowing that he was implying something crude about her and Grissom, Sara worded her next

statement without emotion.

"Your mother has a list of things left to do for the wedding, and I have also been helping your dad down at the stables," she said matter-of-factly.

"And I am sorry I missed your calls _today_," reminding him of his mini-tantrum she had been made to endure the previous night.

"Sara…sweetheart…I…I'm so sorry…"

"Nick…" was all she managed to get out, trying to keep her emotions in check as this conversation was less than private.

Sara almost dropped the phone as her hand began to tremble uncontrollably. _What is happening to me?_ her mind raced as she leaned against the wall.

"Darlin'…I don't know how you can forgive me for the terrible things I said to you last night…I don't know what comes over me, buttercup…" he pleaded, sounding beside himself with worry.

Sara thought about the early time of her relationship with Nick. He had always been there for her, and they had forged a friendship that had been so meaningful. She always felt she could talk to him about anything. But now…

"Nick…I don't-"

"Sara!...please, darlin'…I am missing you so much…everyone here has been counting down the days until I am free to be with you…I miss you so much…I know…I know you keep saying you want to wait until we're married…"

Sara closed her eyes, praying Nick was not going to say what she feared he was about to.

…but I am telling you, Sara, all I can think about is getting there in two more days, honey, and then sweeping you off your feet and carrying you directly to our bed…_our_ bed, Sara…and showing you how much I truly love you…" Nick rushed, his emotions running so high he felt his heart would burst.

A shiver ran through Sara's body, strong enough to cause her to sit down on the bench, closing her mind to the image of making love to someone other than Gil.

"No…Nick…we _can't_…" she started, but he interrupted her.

"Sara…I can't wait…I _won't_ wait…I need to be with you…to _show_ you how much I need you…" Nick's tone was subtly darkening as his surprise at her continued resistance to his idea was setting off warning bells in his head.

Sara closed her eyes and tried to remain calm. For a moment, she even thought about just running away, only to realize what would happen when Nick would use the many resources available to him and easily track her down.

"Nick…we can talk about it…when you get here…I want you to know that in the past few weeks you _have_ shown me exactly how you feel…" Sara said truthfully, although she was sure the message she had received loud and clear may not have been the one Nick wanted her to acknowledge.

There was a short lull in the conversation before Nick resumed again in a tight voice, "So…how's _Grissom_?"

The tone he used spoke volumes. Sara tried to skirt the issue by saying, "I really don't know…he's been spending a lot of time with your dad, actually," hoping that would placate him.

To her relief, Lillian was calling for her loud enough that even Nick could hear. Sara took advantage of the distraction to end the call.

"Listen, Nick, I have to go and finish up some things with your mom. I…I'll talk to you tomorrow night," she said, adding, "take care of yourself."

She had always ended their friendly phone calls that way, and for a moment neither of them could speak in remembering what had been happier calls.

"Alright, darlin'. I love you. You take care, too. Talk to you tomorrow."

Although Nick waited for another sentiment from Sara, he was met with a click and a dial tone.

His jaw tightened slightly as he tapped his cell phone thoughtfully against his chin.

Suddenly, he bolted from his seat, causing it to momentarily teeter on its rear legs before crashing to the tile floor while Nick headed out in search of what he felt might be the answer to his dilemma.

--

Sara had been so shaken by the call that even Lillian had to wonder aloud if she were well enough to continue with their discussion.

Taking the reprieve offered, Sara decided to head off to her room for the night, knowing that Gil would visit as soon as possible without attracting attention.

Sara clung to the thoughts of Gil just holding her close. Without them as a lifeline, she felt that she might just unravel under the pressure of this impossible situation.

Logan seemed concerned about Sara's appearance and decided to walk her to her room to be sure she was alright.

He noticed her slight shivering, as well as her attempts to hide it from him, and questioned her about it.

As always, Sara dismissed his concerns but this time Logan was not taking any chances.

Without her knowing, he kissed her forehead goodnight and went directly to his study and found the contact information from Dr. Craig.

As luck would have it, the doctor was in his office between rounds and sat up immediately upon recognizing the caller.

His own thoughts having centered on Gil and Sara several times over the last week, Dr. Craig realized that Logan would not be phoning unless he had legitimate concerns.

Without preamble, he tapped his pen over his desk blotter and stated simply, "Tell me everything."

After a lengthy discussion, the doctor offered several possible causes for the shivering that increasingly presented itself.

Dr. Craig seemed to feel the most likely cause in Sara's case was extreme stress.

"Now, Logan, this may seem like a casual diagnosis, but I assure you that is not the case.

You need to understand that stress is your body's reaction to how you respond to certain situations, especially when you feel you have no control over the events.

When stress persists, however, the body begins to break down and problems like tremors can occur or become worse. Coping with stress requires identifying stressors and learning ways to reduce them.

Stress can be caused by anything that requires you to adjust to a change in your environment. Your body reacts to these changes with physical, mental, and emotional responses.

Sara's body has been through a recent traumatic event.

Sara's mental health may be taxed by some unresolved conflicts she may be facing.

Sara's emotional health has been compromised by, shall we just say, past events that can be amplified by her recent accident."

Logan found himself nodding to physician's information. Knowing the situation with Sara, Gil, and Nick, he was beginning to see that the pressures of the wedding may directly be affecting Sara's health.

"What can we do, Dr. Craig?" Logan asked worriedly. "What if these tremors increase in intensity or in frequency?"

The physician sighed. He understood that Sara was feeling the stress on many different levels.

Reading between the lines, he felt sure that Gil had made his feelings known to Sara.

He grimaced when he realized that part of the reason her symptoms seemed aggravated was that she might actually be thinking about changing her mind about the wedding.

While that news would please him on a personal level, he frowned again as his professional side worried about the effects of this heightened stress level on his patient.

"Logan, when you give me the contact information for your local pharmacy, I will plan to call them in the morning to prescribe a mild sedative for Sara."

Hearing the protests before they could be made, Craig added quickly, "This is mild enough that she should not be bedridden or be incapacitated in any way. Just something to see if we can give her some help in reducing the stress on her system."

Continuing, he added, "Has she been sleeping well? Getting some naps in, eating well? In general, finding time to recuperate properly?"

Logan flinched in realizing Sara had really been doing just the opposite.

"Well, doc, I am away most of the day, but starting in two more days I will be home full time. However," the resolution in his voice was clear, "it won't take two more days for me to make sure she does just what you prescribe."

"Fine, fine," Dr. Craig smiled. "Listen, Logan, let me jot down that pharmacy information, and then I must get back to my rounds."

Before ending the call, he added, "Logan, I want you to know you did the right thing to phone me. And I expect you to call, anytime, if something else seems not right, understand?"

The two men ended the call jovially. Closing up his phone, Logan went first in search of Sara, knowing full well he would need to have a frank discussion with Gil afterwards.

--

As Sara stirred now in the light of the new day, Gil shushed her softly until she fell back into a restful state.

He kissed her forehead, wanting to beg forgiveness for complicating her life to such a degree that she physically manifested her turmoil.

He loved her, there was no doubt about that.

But did he love her enough to let her go?

He thought about his horrible performance, closing his eyes against the memories of her anguish as she realized he had overheard her conversation with Nick.

He thought about how abandoned she must have felt hearing him tearing away in the Jeep.

Was that how she found herself on the balcony? Had she fallen, or had the weight of her grief caused her to collapse under the onslaught of the mourning rain?

Gil held her closer. He never wanted her to feel that kind of pain again.

Fighting back the liquid that began to accumulate behind his closed eyelids, Gil took a few deep breaths and, once calm, released Sara from his hold and proceeded to wake her with a myriad of butterfly kisses over every beautiful part of her face.

This action caused Sara to waken with a smile, only to have it kissed away.

His hands ran over her silky skin from her lanky arms to her bending knees.

Her body invited an even closed inspection, and Gil lovingly provided it.

Kissing every inch of her, he lingered over spots that he remembered gave her pleasure.

Her sighs and moans spurred him on until he heard his name spoken so reverently, he thought his heart would burst with love for this woman.

He rose and met her mouth again, nipping and pecking, darting his tongue to press onto hers, until she broke the duel and begged him to join them together.

She needed him. He wouldn't dwell another second on that ticking clock.

She wanted him. He wouldn't waste any time in making yet another intimate memory.

He claimed her with a gentle ferociousness that caused her to sigh and roll her eyes until they shut at the moment of their climax.

She was breathless; he was professing his love again and again until she silenced him with a kiss.

They slept until midafternoon, stretched out for the second night in his bed….their paradise.

After lazing around in the family room the rest of the afternoon – the two happily reading on separate chairs, occasionally glancing up at each other happily – Logan returned home early intent on speaking with Sara.

He closed the large doors to the family room, sliding them from their resting places inside the thick, paneled walls.

Logan glanced at Gil, who remembered their in-depth discussion when the judge had pulled him aside for a frank revelation of the physician's concerns about Sara.

Now, Logan sat by Sara, reaching for her hand as he began quickly to relate his concerns about the increasing occurrences of shivering and tremors that she had been experiencing.

Before she could protest, he began to relate that he had spoken the previous evening to Dr. Craig.

At this, Gil became fully alert knowing Sara was going to need his support, leaning forward in his leather armchair, his eyes darting from Logan to Sara, whom he noticed was not happy at the judge's actions.

"Now, hear me out!" Logan said, refusing to relinquish Sara's hands from his tightening grip.

He pulled the prescription bottle out of his pocket and before he could continue, Sara was already shaking her head.

She stopped her protests as she heard Gil simply state, "Sara – please, honey…"

Her eyes locked onto his and he read the fear in hers.

"Sara – just relax and listen to what the doctor had to say."

Her eyes remained on his as he continued to speak.

"Logan is just as worried as I am about the shivering…even you know it has been happening more…"

He noticed her eyes widening as all three of the room's occupants turned their gazes towards her interlocked hands.

Her arms, palms, and fingers were practically convulsing.

Looking up in horror, her eyes flew to Gil's as her panic was apparent. "What…what's _happening_ to me? _What's happening to me?_ Oh….Gil!..."

Before Logan could react, Gil was already slipping his arms around her, pulling her shaking extremities from Logan's failing grip.

"I have you, Sara. You're okay. Relax, honey. Breathe. In. And. Out. In. And. Out. That's right…" Gil spoke in his supervisor's tone, recalling another time he had spoken those words to help her overreaction at a crime scene.

Sara was remembering as well, and the momentary spin down memory lane was enough to relax her anxiety and cause the tremor to cease.

Logan sat mere inches from Sara, and was eternally grateful that Gil had been able to effect such a quick reversal of her worsening symptoms.

Once she had calmed down, Logan had expected Gil to sit back and finish listening to the rest of their conversation.

Instead, Gil surprised him when he bent down to put one arm under Sara's legs and the other around her back and lifted her off the couch and marched towards the door.

Logan watched as Sara clung to Gil while he deftly forced open the sliding door and headed straight to the staircase leading to Sara's room.

A while later, Lillian found Logan still seated with the prescription bottle in his hand.

Inquiring after Sara's whereabouts, Logan stood abruptly and glared at Lillian, almost shouting, "Oh, for heaven's sake, Lil, leave the poor girl _ALONE_!"

He marched swiftly out of the room, tracing Gil's path of a few moment's ago, leaving a stunned Lillian to sink into the leather chair and to wonder not for the first time if this girl was truly worth all the trouble she caused in the Stoke's family.

Logan knocked quietly before entering, finding Gil stretched out on Sara's bed with her head almost hidden in the recesses of his embrace.

Gil did not speak, merely watching Logan approach Sara's bed before perching on the edge.

Logan reached over and stroked Sara's back softly before clearing his throat and continuing.

He spoke from the beginning about his concerns and his talk with Dr. Craig.

He rattled off the information he had received, and about the doctor's request that Sara take this low dose medication.

He discussed his own worry about her worsening condition, and about his hope that she would agree to try the prescription.

He looked into her now upturned gaze and promised her that he would defend her right to stop taking this medication and prevent anyone from imposing _anything_ on her against her will.

This last point made Sara take notice.

She was so tired. She bent her neck to look at Gil.

He smiled reassuringly and spoke softly after a time.

"Honey…I love you…we are just worried about you…I think…I think you can trust Dr. Craig."

It was _exactly_ the right thing to say.

_No one_ was going to make Sara do something she didn't want.

Gil understood that, and wasn't going to _force _her to do anything.

He was giving her an opinion, recognizing that it was _her_ that needed to make the choice.

Slowly, Sara reached out a hand and opened her now-steady palm.

Logan smiled and popped open the pill bottle, placing one capsule in her hand.

Reaching for a bottled water on the bedside stand, Gil cracked open the seal and handed it to Sara.

Hesitantly, she looked at Gil for reassurance. His smile was all the answer she needed.

She leaned forward and expertly swallowed the medication, needing a minimal amount of water. She tried to return the bottle, but Gil urged her to drink a bit more.

Finishing almost half the container, she handed it back to Gil before weakly returning to his embrace.

The trio relaxed a bit as Gil recapped the bottle and kissed the top of her head.

Sara reached for Logan's hand. He took it and kissed her palm before encasing it in both of his.

"I think tonight we should celebrate!"

Gil looked at him with a frown. _Hadn't Craig said Sara needed to rest?_

Sara, however, seemed to perk up with the idea.

"What did you have in mind, Dad?"

_He loved when she called him that._

_--_

Within an hour, Gil and Sara found themselves seated in the Jeep, smiling as they followed Logan's car into town.

They spent the remainder of the evening listening to a jazz trio, Gil joining Sara in imbibing lemonade iced tea while the others ordered from the bar. Everyone shared trays of pizza and a huge bowl of Caesar salad.

Logan and Lillian danced a few numbers, leaving Gil and Sara to stare into each other's eyes without scrutiny. When the parents would return, Gil would guide Sara onto the dance floor.

Even in keeping a respectable distance apart, dancing with Gil was wonderful.

She didn't know if she could attribute it to the medication or to Gil's attentiveness. Sara only knew that for the first time in a long time, she was deliriously happy.

She never wanted the night to end.

That is what made it so difficult when they returned home slightly ahead of Logan's car to find a rental car parked in the drive.

Putting the Jeep in park, Gil looked at Sara who was sitting tight-lipped and apprehensive.

She was spun to tightly that she recoiled harshly upon feeling Gil's soft touch on her trembling arm.

Eyes open widely, Sara couldn't find the words to express the fear surging through her.

Gil cursed silently the situation before them.

_Couldn't she have had _one_ happy night without worrying about _something_?_

Putting on a calm exterior, Gil opened her door, smiled reassuringly, and took her hand securely in his.

Placing his hand on the small of her back, he had to push her softly to get her feet started towards the walkway.

Opening the front door, the lights of the foyer caused them to squint as they moved from the cool darkness of the Texas night into the brightly lit unknown awaiting them.

No sooner had Gil turned to close the door, that a familiar voice intoned from the family room doorway, "So…and just _where_ have you two been all night, might I ask?"

Sara turned nervously towards the man who now had his hands on her shoulders in a supportive gesture, and whispered, "Oh, Gil..."


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Hope your Father's Day weekend went well... I promised a shout out to GSRFAN27 whose review reminded me that in my haste to post the last chapter in the wee hours, I had forgotten to end with the signature line of each chapter of this piece!...(I told you, the reviewers are just amazing people!)…thanks, addy, for the help…you're great!...Once again, I am posting in the wee hours of the morning…we had gotten home late Sunday and I find I have an unexpected opportunity to visit family for another out of town overnight leaving Monday at noon… I am sorry I cannot finish this chapter now, so again the last day of the countdown will have to be in two sections…However, I did want to post this part, or I will have an angry jenstog to deal with! : ) ….seriously, I did want to move the plot ahead, setting the scene for the next day when Nick finally arrives…thanks for your patience and support…hope this pleases…a nice long update by midweek!...you are terrific! -Kathy

--

Countdown: Day 1 (daybreak)

Gil watched the sunrise spread a myriad of colors into the early morning sky.

He watched in awe at this spectacle of nature's splendor as his first thoughts questioned whether he had ever seen anything more beautiful.

His smile answered that query as he turned his gaze towards the woman who lay draped over him in a peaceful slumber.

His smile faded however when he noticed her breathing becoming slightly labored, a deep furrow forming in her forehead.

He planted a soft kiss in her hair, and started sending a lilting refrain of endearments towards her ear, hoping they would soothe her without fully awakening her.

_I wonder if she's dreaming about last night?_ Gil sighed, recalling how the events had unfolded.

--

"What are you doing here, Sofia?" Gil asked gruffly, his thoughts distracted by his overwhelming need to keep Sara from overreacting to this intrusion on their upcoming, last day together.

"_Gil Grissom_," Sofia moved forward a bit provocatively.

"I must say I was hoping for a bit _friendlier_ greeting," she cooed, never taking her eyes off him – in turn, ignoring Sara's tensing posture.

"We weren't expecting anyone from the team until next week," Gil replied, tightening his grip on Sara's shoulders in what he hoped was a clandestine message that things would be alright.

"Well," Sofia spoke in a flirtatious tone, "let's just say that I had the opportunity to come ahead of the group, and I thought I might spend a few days with _you_ before the rest of the team descended."

Sofia attempted to move closer to Gil, before realizing that Sara stood in her way.

Mentally frowning at Sara's interference, she continued pointedly, "It can get _so_ crowded with everyone around."

She noticed the way Sara instinctively pulled herself backwards into Gil's protective stance, and made a mental note of the behavior before adding, "And, I'm sure _Sara_ could use all the help she can get in preparing for _Nick'_s arrival day after tomorrow."

Sofia couldn't help but notice the involuntary shudder that engulfed the bride-to-be, although Sara seemed otherwise passive.

Deciding to pursue that line of conversation, Sofia began speaking directly to Sara, almost goading her with comments about, and innuendos about, Nick. It pleased the blonde intruder that each statement seemed to cut into Sara's composure like a knife into butter.

After another moment of Sofia's babbling, Sara's pallor began to bear witness to her heightened anxiety.

Sofia was positively gleeful.

Grissom had ceased listening to Sofia as he concentrated on the effect she was having on Sara.

Worried that she looked pale enough to faint dead away before him, he was considering just sweeping her off her feet to head towards his bedroom when a voice from behind him illustrated that he was not alone in his concern for Sara's current state.

"What the _hell_ is going on here?" Logan intoned sharply.

He was moving swiftly from his place in the doorway to Sara's side as Lillian was already donning her hostess demeanor and began what she perceived as needed damage control.

Heading towards Sofia, Lillian was scolding, "Logan Stokes! Is that any way to treat one of Nicky's friends?"

Ignoring his wife, Logan glared his silent response towards Gil as he was now removing Sara from Gil's grasp and moving her towards the overstuffed leather couch in the family room.

"It's Sofia, isn't it?" Lillian smiled sweetly towards this lovely creature.

"Yes, Mrs. Stokes. Didn't…didn't Nick phone you that he was - that I was coming ahead of the rest of the team?" Sofia asked in a pseudo-nervous tone.

"Oh, my dear, our Nicky was never very good with remembering details, but his friends are always welcome here," Lillian answered as the consummate hostess.

"We will just get you settled in right away. As a matter of fact, we will put you in the guest wing next to Dr. Grissom, "she continued happily, knowing that Sofia's proximity would put an end to her worry about what her nemesis did in the overnight hours.

"It's nice and quiet on that side of the house, dear, so you'll have plenty of privacy…you'll have the whole wing to yourselves," Lillian stressed as Sofia picked up on the suggestion.

Sofia turned towards Gil who, while he was concentrating on Sara was still in earshot, "I can't think of a better way to ensure _sweet dreams_."

Lillian decided right then that Sofia's early arrival was an answer to a prayer.

Sofia moved towards the doorway of the family room, inquiring in a saccharine tone, "Oh, my, is Sara feeling alright?"

Ignoring the comment he wanted to make, Logan was speaking loudly as if to ignore Sofia's remark, "Sara, darlin', you need to get to bed. I am going to stay down and help Lil get Sofia all settled in.

Gil –"he stood and relinquished his hold on Sara's hands by placing them in Gil's gentle care, "please help Sara get to her room.

Oh," he added, almost as an afterthought, "and please stay with her until I get a chance to check on her before bedtime."

Lillian felt a neck bone adjust itself as she snapped her head in reaction to Logan's request.

Her cheeks were flushed with anger, yet she didn't want to air her displeasure in front of Sofia.

Gil turned away from the two women who were now eyeing him suspiciously and gave in to the moment, displaying a full faced grin before suppressing it as he stood with Sara tucked into his side.

_That Logan sure has been pushing his luck with Lillian lately._

Without additional fanfare, he began speaking softly to Sara who had once again begun trembling slightly. and was making a conscious effort to hold herself together until she was out of Sofia's eyesight.

Meanwhile, Sofia was fuming at the obvious connection Gil and Sara had forged in the few days they had been "recuperating" at the ranch.

_Nick is going to be very interested in my report tonight, _Sofia mused.

--

Indeed, Nick had become very concerned about the possibility that Gil was trying to confuse Sara.

He couldn't think of any other reason to explain her sudden aloofness in their phone conversations.

He had become increasingly concerned about Sara's lack of enthusiasm about consummating their relationship.

If she didn't want to be with _him_, there could only be one _other _explanation…

His obsession with Sara was growing exponentially each day they were apart.

The fact that she was there with Grissom continued to gnaw away at him.

That is why Nick had pleaded with Sofia to take some vacation time and arrive early to survey the situation and give Nick a really good idea of what he should expect to find when he arrived on the weekend.

Sofia had jumped at the chance to spend some vacation time in Grissom's company.

She had set her sights on him that first night they had separately arrived on the crime scene in formal wear, having been called from a LVPD dinner function.

Sofia thought he looked so sexy in his tuxedo. She had begun that night to make her play for him.

She would tell you Grissom hadn't seemed all that aloof as she took the opportunity to change into a CSI-issued jumpsuit without using a dressing room.

Her "little trick" as she called it, innuendo dripping from her label, was to place the new garment under the formfitting designer gown and wriggling her body out of its "old skin" while placing her body inside its "new skin".

Sofia added a few extra bumps and grinds to the performance, soaking in the admiring glances of several other officers on the scene.

She had been unaware that, out of earshot of her demonstration, Grissom had commented aloud to no one in particular that snakes did essentially the same thing.

And so began the dichotomy of Sofia's and Gil's working relationship.

She – secure in her belief that Gil was working up the courage to pursue a romantic relationship with her.

He – inherently clueless as to her growing infatuation with him, and her determination to get him into her bed despite his workaholic nature.

--

Sofia had always heard rumors about the attraction between Gil and Sara, but it wasn't until she observed his behavior tonight that she entertained the thought that there may be some truth to those rumors.

And - while Gil may have a chivalrous streak- having seen the state of _poor_ _Sara _tonight, Sofia had decided she was not really competition at all.

Sofia would have Grissom eating out of her hand by the time Nick and Sara's nuptials were spoken.

She pondered all these things in the back of her mind as she went through the motions of gushing over Lillian's hospitality, leaving Nick's mother to once again wonder why Nicky couldn't have decided on marrying someone so genuinely sweet as this nice young blonde.

As Logan set Sofia's luggage on the nylon straps of the cart used for that purpose, he surveyed this woman as she fawned all over Lil.

Considering himself somewhat of an expert in first impressions, he found himself totally wary of this woman.

She was going to be trouble.

And because he still placed Sara's well-being as a priority, keeping Sofia away from Sara was going to become his focus for the next few days.

--

Try as Gil might to reassure her, Sara had been pacing since she had arrived in her room.

"She's here, Gil. She's going to want to spend all her time together…with _you_…" Sara sputtered.

For the first time, she realized a totally unrecognized consequence of what her impending marriage meant.

Up to this point, she had only thought about the fact that she would never be with the man she had always loved.

Until tonight, Sara had not been forced to face the fact that Gil would naturally move on to find happiness somewhere else, and she would have to endure seeing him with another woman.

That thought sent her completely over the edge.

Gil watched worriedly as Sara pulled deeper inside herself, shivers accentuating the verbal rants that were becoming mumbling personal debates.

He was briefly mesmerized by her worsening condition. _How had things changed so drastically in the last hour?_

The answer, of course, was Sofia.

_She's never liked Sara. I think she's always been jealous of her. Sofia likes the limelight – craves it._

_Sara is content to work in the background, slow and steady – yet always manages to pull out a solution, outshining Sofia even when she isn't trying._

_Sofia has to work hard for everything that comes naturally to Sara._

_Yet, Sofia waves her attributes in front of every male, including Ecklie and the Sheriff, and she thinks I don't realize that much of her highly touted solve rate can really be attributed to Sara's behind the scene efforts._

_Something just doesn't add up, though, with this early arrival._

_I worry about her affect on Sara – this initial reaction worries me so…_

Gil was pulled out of his internal reflections as a blast of cool air hit him, shocking him back to the present.

Looking up, he noticed the French doors were opened, and Sara was no longer in the room.

"Sara?" Gil asked softly while rushing to the doorway, not wanting to stress her any more tonight.

She stood with her back to the door so he could not see her tears.

Looking out at the trail that was now bathed in the moonlight, Sara reverted to an old standby behavior that had helped her through many upsetting nights in foster care.

Pulling up all her defenses, Sara would shut out the world, hunkering down within herself.

She would imagine her knight riding in bareback on a horse with ebony hair.

Perfectly groomed, its tail would sway forcefully and it would whinny breathlessly as her prince would charge to her side, and sweep her from the ground with one hand while pulling her up to sit sidesaddle.

While there were shouts of protest all around, his arms would encircle her protectively, and they would ride off at a fast pace, their galloping rate matching the beating of her heart.

Tonight, she reveled in this alternate reality, as she needed to escape the hurtful reality which was closing in on her.

So as she stood on the balcony, Sara pulled into herself and for the first time in over 15 years, she revisited this redemptive daydream.

Her gaze was so fixed, and with his attempts to reach her essentially ignored, a sense of panic had overcome him.

Gil twisted her around violently, forcing her head upwards to look at him.

The absent look in her gaze caused him to worry that she was teetering on a full emotional breakdown.

He kissed her cheeks and hugged her closely, trying to get her to refocus on him.

He pleaded with her not to leave him this way, begging her to come back to him.

After a few minutes, something inside her began to respond to his distress.

Blinking rapidly, Sara initially was concerned at the sight in front of her.

Gil was still holding her as she felt his attempt to squelch his despairing sobs which threatened to escape.

Yet he had turned his head away, fighting the tears that were beginning to escape from his eyes.

He startled when her hand softly wiped away the dampness on one of his cheeks.

Brown eyes held blue eyes captive as Sara whispered with concern, "Oh, Gil…"

TBC…


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: Thanks for your patience... My overnight trip went a bit longer and was loads of fun… I had limited computer access so I could read a bit, but not post…this is not beta'd, I just wanted to get it posted…I will go in and fix mistakes later…This chapter ends the countdown days…only six more days until the wedding…and Nick arrives tomorrow…there will be a posting for each of Sara and Gil's next six days…then, the wedding...hope to post in a day or two…thanks for all your great reviews and for those who support by reading (and sometimes re-reading)… : ) …Hope this pleases….you are absolutely terrific!...-Kathy

--

Countdown: Day 1 ( 9 a.m.)

Sofia had left the main door to the guest room flung wide open, while she lounged in the hot tub.

The scented bubble bath liquid she had added while the jets worked to fill the tub had created a fragrant oasis which she had more than once this morning dreamed of sharing with Grissom – hence her ploy of leaving this bathroom's door wide open as well.

But she was clearly disappointed when she did not hear the opening of the door belonging to the only other occupant of this wing of the ranchhouse.

Sighing, she was about to exit the bubbled bliss when she thought she heard a doorknob quietly close.

Smirking widely, Sofia used the swivel sprayer to remove the bubbles that clung to her perfect body.

Wrapping a silken sarong around her still moist curves, she tiptoed towards Grissom's door.

Manicured nails were reaching for the doorknob when it was thrust open to the sound of echoed shrieks.

Immediately, Sofia's eyes were blazing towards a stunned Emma Anne, who was clearly not expecting to find another person on the outside of Gil's room.

She was so taken aback, the maid almost dropped the small laundry basket from her capable hands.

Sofia barged right past Emma Anne, not really expecting to find Grissom in there with the maid, but curious nonetheless to collect some visual evidence to slow her rapidly beating heart.

"What are you doing in here?" Sofia eyed the other woman suspiciously.

Emma Anne noticed the drops of bath water slipping onto the hardwood floor.

Taking another second to give Sofia the once over, she replied coolly, "I could ask you the same thing, ma'am."

Ignoring the entitlement usually reserved for the elderly, Sofia was not to be daunted.

"Where is Grissom?"

Looking at his bed which should no sign of use last night, Sofia whipped her blonde hair heatedly at Emma Anne, who showed no reaction to the inference of the question.

"Dr. Grissom always rises early. As a matter of fact, he has been up and out for quite a while now."

Knowing Grissom's work ethic, Sofia seemed at peace with this new information.

Internally, Emma Anne grimaced as she actually had a good idea where he ACTUALLY was at the moment.

She closed her eyes for an extra moment, trying to dismiss the picture of what he was actually DOING at the moment.

When she reopened them, she was relieved to note that Sofia's gaze had not been fixed on her.

Instead, she was looking for any evidence that Sara had been in this room.

Sofia was unaware that each morning, Emma Anne thoroughly cleaned and straightened this room with just that search in mind, knowing how suspicious Lillian was about Gil.

She chuckled inwardly, for if this "great CSI" before her was really worth her salt, she would see that the small basket in Emma Anne's hands contained the complete change of clothing which she had thought to gather so Grissom could shower in Sara's bath to avoid a suspicious encounter on his way back to his own room.

Emma Anne worried that this last day would be more difficult as Sofia would obviously join Lillian in sneaking around to spy on Gil and Sara.

The maid had secretly been hoping those lovebirds would find a way to be together in the end.

But just this morning, Jeremy had to console her when she shed one tear that these two people, whom she had come to adore, were finding themselves facing their last day before Nick returned.

Sofia had obviously not found what she wanted and stormed out of the room past a relieved maid.

Once the blonde had slammed her door shut, Emma Anne made a hasty retreat towards Sara's room using the servant's corridor.

--

Meanwhile, the sun was shining through the open French doors as the two lovers slept wrapped around each other.

Last night, Sara had consoled Gil after her outburst, assuring him that she would be fine.

He had not replied, only scooped her into his arms and carried her to the bed.

They had spent the hours of their magic time creating the magic that can only be experience by those deeply in love.

Despite his earlier attempt to watch over her at dawn, Sara's steady breathing and close proximity lulled Gil into a dreamless sleep next to her.

When Emma Anne appeared in the doorway off the hidden corridor, she hesitated briefly before knocking loudly, whispering, "Sara!"

Gil was immediately awake. He started when he heard the voice, for a moment kicking himself for not taking Sara into the safety of his guest room with its double locks.

Sara was awake now also, but she seemed much more relaxed about the fact that Gil was still in her bed at this hour.

Emma Anne entered, moving first to lock Sara's door.

"I brought you these, Dr. Grissom. I thought you might like to change for the day without having to return to your room," she said, suddenly shy, hoping she had not overstepped her bounds.

Gil smiled his thanks, making this wonderful friend blush slightly.

"Oh, and Sara, perhaps you should make an appearance at breakfast soon," Emma said hastily.

"Lillian and the Viper are an evil mix to be sure, especially if you leave them alone too long," she finished, speaking conspiratorially and looking over her shoulder.

"Viper?" Gil smirked, throwing an amused gaze at Sara.

Emma Anne was thunderstruck.

_PLEASE tell me I did not just say that out loud!_

Seeing her friend's discomfort, Sara sat up a bit straighter and said, "It's fine, Emma Anne. It's actually a pretty descriptive label for that blonde _snake_ _in the grass_!"

Her comment seemed to diffuse the tension in the room.

The maid excused herself to give these two a few more minutes of privacy before their day in the limelight needed to begin.

"Mornin'" Gil said softly, leaning in for a kiss.

"Good morning, Gil," Sara responded verbally, then physically as she deepened their kiss.

Knowing he needed to be strong for them, Gil pulled away to laugh softly at her pouting lips.

"Behave, Miss Sidle. I'm going for a quick shower then I'll be down. You should dress and get yourself to breakfast before Lillian comes looking for you."

He hated to push her away. It was their last day and night together before Nick came.

Gil had plans for today. But he needed some time away from Sara to make them work.

--

Appearing at breakfast a short time later, Gil moved towards the coffee cart before Sofia's hand on his arm caused him to stop abruptly.

She smelled wonderful and her almost buttoned silk shirt accented her assets in just the right places.

If his mind had not been on Sara's surprise, as a man he would by nature have been aroused.

But Gil's mind _had_ been on Sara's surprise.

Sofia noticed her efforts were not yielding the results she had become accustomed to.

Turning up the charm a bit, Sofia sidled up closer and said quietly in a suggestive tone, "You go sit down, Gil. I know what you want."

She licked her lips as her eyes glinted dangerously, and then she turned sweetly and poured him a coffee.

Leaning in a bit farther than necessary as she set down his aromatic brew, she kept her hand on the back of his chair as she twisted and inquired, "Lillian, can I get you a refill?"

Overjoyed that she was the center of someone's attention, Lillian smiled sweetly and nodded.

She glanced at Sara as if to say _you could learn something from this wonderful girl._

Sara, however, was not paying attention to Lillian's body language as she was staring a hole through Grissom's proximity to Sofia.

Those feelings of abandonment were overshadowing her again.

Gulping back the desire to burst into tears, Sara reminded herself that she was stronger than this.

_I hate feeling so weak. I have kept my emotions in check my whole life. I don't want to feel this upset anymore._

Lost in those thoughts, Sara could not tear her eyes from Grissom's space being invaded by that blonde hussy.

She was so shaken that she let out a small shriek when she felt the weight of a kiss on her cheek.

Recoiling noticeably, she turned to stare at the person hovering worriedly over her.

Logan smiled unsurely and straightened a bit before speaking softly, "Sorry if I startled you, darlin'"

A speck of hurt was displayed in his eyes and Sara immediately took steps to correct her impression of his overture.

Standing, she leaned into him and hugged him before turning a wide smile upwards.

_There._ That's _the happy smile I want to see dancing in this darling man's eyes_, Sara said to herself.

Still smiling, she rose to peck him on the cheek and tease, "You should know not to sneak up on a girl before she's had her first cup of coffee for the day!"

Logan grinned helped her back into her seat before moving to retrieve his own cup of coffee.

In a moment he would leave for his last day of work until after the wedding.

In his heart, he had never tried to stall the beginning of vacation time as he did for this event.

He remained standing close to Sara's chair as he asked Gil about his plans for the day.

"Oh, I thought I'd like to spend a good part of the day down at the stables," Gil replied without looking at Sara.

_The stables. Our special place._ Sara mused, smiling secretly to herself.

_He wants to spend our final afternoon alone in our special place._

While these thoughts raced through her mind, imagine how shocked Sara was to hear the next statement coming from Grissom.

"Actually," he leaned forward a bit and took hold of Sofia's hand.

"I was hoping Sofia might want to come and help out as well."

Turning to the blonde, he smiled and continued, "There's no place to rival it."

Sofia grinned smugly as she agreed.

Logan, still stunned by the pronouncement, turned towards Sara to ask about her plans.

The pain hidden in that controlled countenance caused him to rethink that behavior.

Instead, he turned to Lillian and asked.

And, as expected, the verbal litany of odds and ends to finish was unrelenting.

Logan couldn't help but smile. Lillian _did _enjoy her martyr complex…

Before Sara could input into the conversation, Gil was standing and looking towards Sofia.

"Shall we say 15 minutes?" he asked smoothly, watching as Sofia poured herself out of her seat.

Agreeing to meet by the front door, Sofia moved towards the stairs as Gil diverged from that path and headed towards the kitchen.

Logan glanced concernedly at Sara, who had replaced the indifference mask over her truthful one.

She stood, but Lillian halted her retreat.

"Now, Sara dear, remember we need to head off into town soon…there is an _incredible_ amount of details that need our attention!"

Sara attempted to respond but suddenly felt her hand and arm quake slightly at her side.

Worried, Sara decided she would take that prescription medication after all, despite her earlier protests to Gil that she was fine and didn't need it.

Sara replied she would be join Lil in a short time, leaving the room before Logan had a chance to give her a proper goodbye which heightened his worry that something was wrong with her.

--

Gil had taken the Jeep to the stables, allowing Sofia to sit up front. Emma Anne had sat in the back seat, having come along ostensibly to confer with Billy before returning the Jeep to the covered patio.

Gil was talking animatedly about the horses, and Sofia had maintained a full, sexy grin at his ramblings – until she saw the stable door open fully.

Inside, Billy had been stoking a fire and was brandishing a hot poker in her direction.

"Wha-What is that?" Sofia asked shakily.

"Oh, this little thing?" Billy thundered, chuckling.

"It's shoe-ing time, honey!" he said, returning the poker to the open-faced anvil as he began pounding the heated iron into the nail holes of the horseshoes.

"SHOE-ing?" asked Sofia, softly.

"Sure!" beemed Grissom, handing a folded apron towards Sofia.

"Probably will take more of the day, but hey, we haven't anything better to do!"

Sofia was already shaking her head, backing up.

"Perhaps you may not, but I didn't come here a day early to sit around smelling like wet horses!" she protested.

Smoothly, Gil looked down before nailing her with his eyes, 'Then…why _did_ you come here a day earlier that planned?"

Sofia sputtered for a moment before gaining control.

"Billy," she said without looking at Gil, "thanks for the invitation. Perhaps later you might give me some pointers at riding one of these characters."

"See ya 'round, then!" Billy said, knowing she would never have the insight into taming these beauties to the degree that Sara had.

Gil stood and watched as Sofia strode up the hill towards the ranchhouse, pausing to chuckle at Billy who also stood enjoying the view, her backside sashaying softly once she reached the top.

"Everything set, Billy?" Gil responded as he placed Billy's cowboy hat on his.

"All set. Take the stallion out the back and meander around the stable trail that leads towards the corral. It meets up with the main trail just past the grassy knoll.

"Thanks for everything, Billy."

"Take care of yourself – and take care of my favorite girl!" he was shouting as Gil donned the hat to hide his identity if someone was watching.

Someone _was_ watching.

Due to her medication, Sara missed Sofia's retreat. She mistakenly thought Sofia was still down there enjoying Gil's company.

Seeing a person Sara was convinced had been a cowhand leaving the corral area, the scene was more disturbing that Sara expected it to be.

Willing her shaking to stop, Sara laid on her bed for a moment, not at all concerned that Lillian was waiting for her.

And Lillian was _very impatiently_ waiting for Sara.

That is how she came to be standing inside the door as Sofia returned to the ranchhouse.

"Oh," Sofia said, genuinely surprised to see Lillian still at home. "I thought you'd be gone by now."

The look on Lillian's face told the story. Sofia sighed supportively, "Sara still not ready?"

"Ugh! That girl can try the patience of a saint!" the woman fumed.

"Well," spoke Lillian determinedly, "I, for one, have no intention of waiting on her all morning. Things to do! Things to do!"

She closed her eyes briefly and switched to endearing-mode as she spoke sweetly to Sofia, "Dear, why don't _you_ join me in running errands in town? We could stop for lunch at this delightful little bistro and you could fill me in on what's been happening with my Nicky."

Weighing the options of waiting for a muck-covered Grissom or fine dining with Nick's mom, the choice seemed obvious.

"After you, Mrs. Stokes," smiled Sofia, only to have the woman insist, "Oh, please, it's _Lillian_, dear."

Turning to the side closet, Lillian reached down to retrieve several handled bags filled with assorted guest name cards, token gifts, and mini picture frames – all the items that needed to be alphabetized and sorted to be displayed during the reception.

Calling haughtily for Emma Anne, Lillian began as soon as she entered the room.

"Sara will not be joining Sofia and myself in town today. Please be sure to give these to her and help her set up a work area in the family room."

"_And_," Lillian grabbed the maid's arm for emphasis, "don't let her out of your sight until she has completed all this work!"

"No, ma'am. I won't let these out of my sight until they are completely done," answered a calm Emma Anne.

"Well, then, my dear," Lillian cooed in her best hostess manner, "let's be off then, shall we?"

Enjoying her "preferred guest" status, Sofia smiled and followed Lillian to their waiting car.

Emma Anne also smiled as she hoisted the heavy bags of wearying work into the grasp of both hands, and headed for the kitchen where she, Jeremy, and cook would make short work of the assignment, leaving Sara to enjoy Gil's afternoon surprise.

--

After about a half hour, Sara sat up and realized she had left Lillian waiting for her to return.

_She's going to be a maniac_, thought Sara worriedly as she practically flew down the stairs barefooted.

Not finding any signs of life, Sara moved towards the kitchen where she had to chuckle at a well built cook covered in white curly ribbon.

"Need any help?" she smiled, and cook returned a smile warmly in her direction.

"Lillian gone?" Sara questioned Emma Anne who was finishing with the first bag of wedding guest items.

"Sorry, ma'am," the maid responded in her best stage voice. "You'll have to entertain yourself at home today."

This made Sara's shoulders sag, but she continued to smile at the trio as she rolled up her shirt cuffs and said, "Well, then, let's get started."

Sara reacted as all three of servants barked, "NO!"

"What we mean, Sara," Emma Anne spoke slowly as she approached the stunned bride-to-be, "is that we have this all under control. Besides," she added as they were now at the back door, " Billy called and asked if you could..uh..come down to check on Buttercup."

Sara grew immediately concerned, "Is she sick?"

Emma Anne forged bravely ahead, saying only that Billy said, "…as soon as possible."

Sara started out the door, but Emma Anne stopped her. Eyeing her from head to toe, she said, "Perhaps you will want to shower and change…into something nice…after all, " she added as Sara's eyes went up suspiciously, "it _is _a nice day for a trail ride."

That is how, a half hour later, Sara found herself showered and dressed, even having added a touch of perfume and some eye makeup.

_With Sofia around, it doesn't hurt to look _human_ at least, _she thought, wondering again if Gil would be there with Sofia.

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't notice the Jeep was not in its usual parking spot on the covered patio.

Once inside the stables, Sara was surprised at the quiet. _Gil must have taken Sofia for a trail ride_ she mused sadly.

Billy's voice returned her to the present.

"What's up with Buttercup, Billy?" Sara smiled, although the horse trainer could see the worry in her eyes.

"Nothing that a good long ride won't cure," Billy said sincerely, already moving to saddle up Sara's favorite horse.

"Sounds like we have a lot in common with that today, Billy," Sara spoke softly.

"Well then, I suggest you take the trail out by the pond. It's a great place to relax on a day like today and Buttercup loves to graze on the clover there."

Helping hoist her up into the saddle, Billy patted the horse's hind quarters to set her in motion.

"Have a nice long ride! See ya before sunset!" Billy smiled to himself as he watched Sara move expertly down the trail.

"Yessir…a great place on a day like today, " he whistled as he happily returned to his work.

About twenty minutes later, Sara was lost in thought as she came to the crest of the hill.

She was startled at the sight before her, causing her to pull on the reins and bring the trotting horse to a standstill.

Ahead on the trail, just outside the overgrown path to the cabin, sat the Jeep parked under a shady branch.

_Who can be here? Gil and Sofia _were_ at the stables somewhere, _weren't_ they? and the Jeep _had_ been parked at the kitchen patio, _hadn't_ it?_

As curiosity _was_ a Sidle trademark, Sara maneuvered Buttercup around the Jeep and headed down the path towards the cabin.

Dismounting, she left her trusty steed tied to a branch near the trickling inlet into the pond which encompassed a half-mile of the thicket which bordered the cabin.

She hesitantly climbed the three steps to the covered porch and raised her hand to knock on the door.

It swung forward instantly, as if someone had been expecting her arrival.

Confused, she tucked her head inside as she chanted in a timid voice, "Hello?"

From across the shaded distance came a familiar voice, "Hello, sweetheart."

Sara blinked. "Gil?"

Immediately, Sara's heart fluttered in her chest. If Gil was here, then – of god – he's here with Sofia!

Before she could flee, Gil had already joined her and backed into the open door, shutting it and turning to secure the large lock.

"No, Sara…Sofia's long gone…she's with Lillian…"Gil began, reaching around the still stunned Sara and pulling her into his strong embrace.

He looked amusedly into her shocked expression, before adding, "…and you're with me…"

His smile disappeared as he took her hand and placed it over his heart.

"You're _always_ with me."

Sara still could not speak, so Gil continued hoping to help her come to terms with his little surprise.

He sat her down on the couch and walked towards the spot he was at when she entered.

"I was not quite ready for you to arrive, there are still a few candles I wanted to light," he spoke softly.

He made his way around the room to the individual tapers adorned with fresh field daisies that Gil had placed inside each of two dozen tall crystal bud vases, scattering a soft light around the room.

Sara started violently at the sound of the Jeep's engine coming to life.

Gil soothed her, saying, "Ah, that would be Jeremy come to take back the Jeep and leaving me his horse for the return trip."

Laughing at her puzzled expression, he continued his explanation.

"Well, we had to be sure you would stop here and not be wandering all over creation on our last afternoon alone!"

Sara just shook her head slightly, as if to clear it.

"But…you wanted Sofia-"

Gil strode quickly to her and knelt in front of her downcast eyes.

"Look at me, Sara," he commanded and she looked up to find herself lost in his gaze.

"I. Never. Wanted. Sofia." He let that message sit a second before continuing.

"Billy helped me work out the details of this little surprise. It was all just a ruse to get me out from under Lil's radar for the afternoon."

It was all coming together in her brain.

"And Jeremy? Emma Anne?" she asked incredulously, a small smile beginning in the corner of her lips.

"Don't forget Cook! Why, the man even delivered!"

Her eyes not adjusted to the dimmer light of the cabin, Sara brought her hands to her mouth.

There before her was a satiny king-sized quilt spread on the ground with place settings for two arranged closely together in one corner.

Propped up against a large wicker picnic basket was an ice bucket filled with heart shaped ice cubes, a bottle of chilled champagne, and two inverted champagne flutes chilling in the icy bath.

"For me?" Sara whispered, barely able to produce a sound.

"For us." Gil replied softly, smoothing his hand over her curls, and watching as she leaned into his touch.

"I love you, Sara. Let me show you how much…please?"

He looked with longing into the depth of her eyes.

Sara was so happy, she thought her heart would burst – surely no human organ could contain such happiness.

Gil leaned in and kissed her softly as he stood to his full height, taking her lips with him and willing her body to follow.

And her body did follow.

He led them to their king-sized oasis where they loved, laughed, flirted, loved, and enjoyed the afternoon that at one time they had dreaded.

But for now, it was the best of times – the best memory yet.

Even as the candles burned down to nibs, the joy of this time together made them whole, made them one.

In this final hour, words were not needed, and they did not spend much time in speaking.

Although, one robin that decided to perch on one of the cabin's silent windowsills _was_ startled into flight as he heard a sudden cry break the stillness, sounding something like, "Oh!...Gil!"


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: Okay, I gotta warn you…this chapter's ending had me shedding a tear of two…It even had me questioning _myself_ if this was indeed a GSR story…these two have been whispering to me nonstop and have solemnly promised it is…and they haven't lied to us yet…reviewers, you are amazing people!...to all you readers out there, thank you also for your support of this story…here's where I say "Hope it pleases"…although today, I don't feel all that pleased…you are terrific for staying with this story…-Kathy

**--**

**"You are cordially invited to Nick and Sara's Wedding in _SIX_ days**"

--

Sara entered the busy dining room, where Logan, Lillian, and Nick's two younger sisters had already arrived and were sharing a laugh over their breakfast.

"Mornin', darlin'!" Logan greeted her happily. Sara knew how much he relished the times when all the family were gathered around the table.

She sent him one of her full faced happy smiles, although in truth, tears would have expressed her real feelings more adequately.

Although the mantel clock was only chiming nine, Sara had been awake since daybreak.

--

That was when she had woken up alone in her bed.

She was really not sure how she wound up there, for she remembered falling asleep in Gil's embrace somewhere around 5 a.m.

She had been talking with him about how she would always remember their special times together.

And that they would stay with her forever.

That was about the time Gil sat up and pulled her to himself tightly, and started the conversation Sara had been dreading since their decision to enjoy their time together before Nick arrived.

"And I want you to be with me forever, sweetheart. I don't understand. You say you love me, you say –"

Sara recalled interrupting him with a passionate kiss.

How could she tell him that marrying Nick was the only way to keep him safe from the professional suicide Nick had threatened to instigate if she _didn't_ marry him?

How could she tell him that she refused to be the reason he gave up his illustrious career at the crime lab?

How could she tell him that she understood, better than perhaps anyone, how important his job was to him? That she understood it was not just a job – it was part of how he defined himself?

No, she would never be able to muster enough courage to tell him that.

So she would suffer the burden of making this decision to secure the happiness of the only man she would ever truly love.

Instead of telling him the real reason, Sara just looked into his sorrowing eyes and said, "Remember your promise, Gil."

He hung his head in defeat, unable to bear the thought of arguing with her in these last few hours of their magic time.

Instead, he pulled her close, placing kisses all over her face as he whispered again and again, "I love you, Sara…forever…forever…forever…"

After a long while, he just pulled her to rest her head on his chest and she must have drifted off listening to the beat of his breaking heart.

Next thing she remembered, she was under the covers of her own bed, alone.

She refused to permit the tears to flow.

Today was the first day of the rest of her life.

She was determined to meet it head-on, as she had faced all the traumatically difficult days in her life.

--

Now seated at the table with only a cup of coffee, Sara sat silently as she took a long look at her future in-laws.

Lillian was engrossed in a story the girls were recounting merrily. _They are so lucky to have a mother that loves them so._

Sara turned to glance at Logan, surprised to find his worried eyes were already upon her. _Having Logan for a father-in-law will be the best advantage of being in this family._

She gazed at him fondly, releasing a tentative smile from his lips.

His eyes looked away, trying not to make it look like he was doing exactly what he was doing: searching for Gil.

When his gaze returned to her, Sara only mildly shrugged and looked away.

This was not the topic of conversation she was going to be comfortable with today.

After breakfast, Lillian began the list of the "million things to do today", halting her recitation only when Sofia entered the room.

She had endeared herself to Lillian yesterday, both of them realizing their distrust over Sara's true feelings for Nick, Lillian even going so far as to voice her concern that Sara might not be enough of a woman to make Nick a proper wife.

Sofia had agreed sympathetically. She had Lillian eating out of her hand.

So after waiting for Sofia to be seated next to Gil's empty chair, Lillian began assigning tasks to be completed before Nick arrived.

Sara was given more tedious tasks for the guest table. Logan was going to protest the boring chore on her behalf, but Sara was already out of her seat to begin her tasks.

She would be happy to work alone today.

_Alone…_

She had accepted that she _would _be alone – without Gil – for the rest of her life.

_Alone…_

A state where she wasn't surrounded by prying minds wanting to know "how she felt".

_How she felt?_

Right now, Sara felt angry. She felt like hitting something. She felt like throwing something.

She felt…like she was dying inside.

_Alone?_

Yeah, she could handle that.

As she poured the contents of the bags and boxes onto the work surface, Sara smiled.

She welcomed the activity. It calmed her nerves and helped distract her from becoming engulfed in an emotional goodbye to "what might have been".

--

Hours later, everyone was bustling around the downstairs completing tasks and comparing notes.

The bustling sounds of activity drowned out the sound of a car parking outside the front door.

The handle creaked slightly as the large hand repeated the move it had performed countless times before.

"Hey! Anybody home?"

With the sound of Nick's voice echoing down the foyer, it seemed that all activity stopped simultaneously.

There was an eerie calm for about five seconds before Lillian cried out, "_Nicky_!", her action releasing the onslaught of shrieks and running feet all aimed at welcoming Nick home.

Everyone was shouting hellos and hugging Nick. Lillian hovered a bit possessively, insisting on being nearby as everyone lined up to deliver their welcoming hug.

Everyone was crowding around – except for one worker.

In the other room, out of sight of the front door, Sara stood motionless with her back to the doorway.

She found herself unable to take in a breath.

White spots were beginning to invade her field of vision, as she forced herself to release the breath she was only vaguely aware of taking.

She closed her eyes against the bile rising in her throat.

Sara was not usually plagued with nausea. Even at the most horrific crime scenes, she had mastered the breathing technique Doc Robbins had taught her. Sights and smells never made her sick.

This only happened whenever she felt threatened.

For now, however, she breathed herself out of it and stood to face the music.

The time had come.

_Curtain going up_, rang through her mind as she slapped on a smile and went to join the others.

As often happened over the last few months, just as Sara stepped into the room and was approaching Nick, she was cut off dramatically as Sofia glided pertly into the area.

Parting the sea of bodies deftly, Sofia sidled up to Nick and pulled him into a tight and prolonged welcoming hug.

Sara might have turned to leave had she not spotted the little furrow in Logan's brow as he watched the performance.

Somehow, Sara didn't feel quite so alone in this moment.

That feeling was to be short-lived, however, as through the doorway of Sofia's grand entrance now came a smiling Emma Anne – followed by an unreadable Gil Grissom.

Trying not to observe the dramatic scene Sofia was making in front of him, Gil had glanced to the side – Sara's gaze locking onto his.

Their eyes met, and suddenly they were oblivious to the din of the welcoming crowd mere inches from them.

She was the first to break the stare, turning in time to see Lillian moving away to dry her tears of happiness – and Nick's sudden realization that Sara was standing at the back of the crowd.

She couldn't move. The bile was rising again.

Her mind flitted from flight to fancy, placing images of that cartoon hero and his portable black hole.

She wished again such a thing really existed. She would grab Gil and jump through until they were a million miles from this place.

That thought placed a small smile on her face. Nick assumed the smile was meant for him.

He moved fluidly to wrap his arms around her, swinging her wildly, laughing while peppering her face with kisses, crying out happily, "Sara! God, I missed you so much!"

When he placed a lover's kiss a bit too forcefully on her lips, her hands moved instinctively to ward him off, but he overpowered her.

All the women in the room mistook her arm movements for attempts to draw closer.

But the two men in the room saw the action for what it was worth.

Logan frowned and turned his gaze, but Gil looked on with the fascination of witnesses at a train wreck.

Ending his lip assault for now, Nick released Sara somewhat, keeping her in his grasp.

It was impossible for him to miss the shivers that shook her body ever so slightly.

This awareness caused Nick to bend over and whisper in her ear, "I feel you trembling, honey. Tremblin' in anticipation. Well, you won't have to wait that much longer, I promise."

Sara closed her eyes at the meaning of his words.

Lillian was shooing everyone into the family room, instructing Emma Anne to start the fireplace.

Nick sat in the chair next to the fireplace, pulling Sara onto his lap.

He was laughing and talking with the family, his fingers now under Sara's loose fitting shirt, scalding her skin as they traveled up and down her spine suggestively.

However, this was all she was feeling.

Sara's mind was racing, her heart was fluttering, and she had to hold her hands to prevent them from shaking.

As if aware somehow that her skin was turning a chalky white, she wondered if she was going into shock.

Logan had not removed his worried eyes from her since her initial meeting with Nick. However, he was not alone in noticing the changes in Sara's demeanor.

Interrupting one of Lillian's explanations to Sofia, Logan sat down next to Nick and tried to take Sara's hand in his.

Imagine the father's surprise when the son moved his head behind Sara's body to give him a clandestine glare.

Not to be daunted, Logan forcefully reached for Sara's hand, asking quietly, "Feelin' okay, darlin'?"

Nick shot his father a "Back off!" look, but the judge would not be silenced.

Logan was angry with Nick for his reaction, but was more concerned about

Sara, stating in his fatherly tone, "Maybe you should go lie down for a spell."

Sara shook her head, which made her a tad off balance, as she tried to summon a smile.

Failing miserably, she simply looked into Logan's eyes and whispered, "I'm fine."

Not to be deterred, Logan took her hand and said, "This excitement is probably a bit much for you, darlin'. Come on. I'll take you upstairs."

Logan narrowed his eyes at Nick's bravado in standing up suddenly with Sara in his arms, stating, "NO! It's _my _job now."

With that, of course, every eye on the room was suddenly fixed on Sara.

Sara began protesting that she was _fine_, causing even Lillian to drop her smile and move her gaze curiously from father to son.

Attempting to get the attention off Sara, Sofia stood and walked over to Nick who was still holding onto a struggling Sara.

Placing a hand on his forearm, Sofia cooed, "Maybe I can help. I can take Sara-"

"YOU aren't _taking Sara_ anywhere!" Sara exploded, hitting Nick in the chest now until he released her with a somewhat startled look.

Sara was losing the fight to stay in control. Words continued to flow, chastising everyone for her lack of privacy, treating her like an invalid, butting into her private business.

She could hear the words spewing forth from her angry mouth without an idea of how to calm them.

Logan exchanged a glance with Nick unveiling his worry about her rising hysteria and the increased tremors in her hands.

Nick stood still, unsure of what to do with this Sara, who certainly was not acting herself.

Sara's voice was echoing off the walls of the now-silent room, her rant halted with a single word.

"Sara."

From the doorway, Gil's soft plea had broken through Sara's defenses.

At the sound of her name, Sara turned her eyes to meet his concerned ones.

The sound of her name off his lips was preventing her from continuing her hysterical outburst.

It was calming her to tears.

Her shaking hand went to cover her mouth, as Nick moved into her line of vision, blocking Gil from her sight.

"Hey…relax, darlin'" Nick continued to speak soothingly.

The tension of the last minute taking its toll, Sara started to shudder noticeably.

Nick pulled her close, placing her shaking hands around his neck, glancing worriedly at Logan as he continued to soothe her, "Sar – it's ok…"

Drawing his attention back to the room, Logan placed his hand behind Sofia as he led her towards Gil's spot in the doorway, calling behind him, "Perhaps we should give Nick and Sara a minute alone."

The family filed out of the room behind Logan and Sofia. Gil found himself the last one left to close the door.

Looking over her shoulder, for one final moment, Sara locked eyes with Gil.

His were flooded with worry.

Hers were flooded with emotion.

Gil gave her a small smile and turned to leave.

Unexpectedly, he stopped.

Turning, he locked eyes with her again, and blew her a small kiss.

His hands still raised, he began to sign "Forever…my…love…".

He wasn't sure why he did it.

He didn't think she could possibly remember any of the crash course she had goaded him into teaching her immediately after the case they worked on that involved the student at the school for the deaf.

Before he could turn away to slide close the heavy wooden doors, he was glued to his spot as he saw her hands begin to sign a response.

Gil's heart rose to a new height of love for this woman, followed by feeling the weight of reality careening him to the depths of despair.

He watched her fingerspell, "F…O…R…E…V...E…R…"

Gil forced a smile as he turned and closed the doors, leaving her alone with her future husband.

Alone at last, Nick continued to hold her and speak softly as he breathed into her ear.

She could feel him pressing her closer to his arousal, as he breathed a bit heavier in her ear.

Sara closed her eyes as her head pounded with the turmoil of her conflicting emotions.

Nick's desire was fueling Sara's memories of holding onto Gil after he had made love to her just over twelve hours ago.

Her arms ached to run her fingers through the curly locks that adorned his rugged face that held those blue eyes which had always mirrored her delight in just being together.

Sara began to tremble more noticeably, and for once she was glad someone had noticed.

Nick released her, but only after kissing her soundly, and took her hand as he led her towards the door.

"I bet I know just what you need, darlin'!" Nick said sweetly.

Sara looked at him unspeaking.

"How about a nice cup of hot tea?" he continued as he led them to the kitchen.

"That…that would be nice….thank you…" Sara said weakly, all the while thinking about the thing she _really_ needed most.

She thought about sitting across from him at this very table in the wee hours of the morning.

She thought about talking about everything and nothing.

She thought about how she would give anything if it could be him sitting next to her now.

As Nick was sitting next to her crunching on a chocolate chip cookie, she looked at his profile, wondering if their friendship would be enough to sustain her in a marriage that would last "until death do us part."

Until the end of our days.

From now until forever.

Forever.

Her hands moved slowly under the table.

F…O…R…E…V...E…R…

_Oh, Gil…._


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: This chapter contains language depicting a sexual assault. **This chapter is rated M**. Please read responsibly. If this subject matter is upsetting to you, please wait and read the next chapter which will be posted in a day or two.

Believe it or not, I have a chance to go out of town again (that will be 4 trips within 3 weeks!) So I am posting again in the early hours, and will not post again until next week... This chapter was difficult to write because it is SO out of character for Nick as we have come to know and love him… Still…_this_ character's actions are important to the story...Reviewers and readers – you are terrific! GSR lovers – please hang in there…I predict there are about 10 chapters or so left in this tale, so true love _will _prevail…but as far as the angst…well, you will just have to wait and see…thanks for the wonderful comments. -Kathy

--

**"You are cordially invited to Nick and Sara's Wedding in **_**FIVE **_**days"**

--

Entering the kitchen to begin another workday, Emma found Gil and Logan sitting around the kitchen table.

Although the sun was shining brightly through the bay window, if the truth be known, they had been sitting there since the wee hours of the morning.

Several occupants of the house had been unable to sleep after the events surrounding Nick's arrival yesterday.

Not wanting to pace in his room for fear of keeping Sofia awake or worse having her misconstrue his Gil had silently left his room around 2 a.m. and headed down for a cup of hot tea.

The night dragged on for him. This was the first night in over a week he had not spent these magic hours with Sara.

He missed her beyond description.

Just having settled himself into the thick wooden bench near the kitchen hearth, he was unnerved to hear the soft steps padding towards his location.

Gil sat silently, watching Sara wiping the moisture from her cheeks as she straightened her shoulders and moved to make a cup of the hot tea for herself.

Not wanting to startle her, he clinked his spoon roughly against his cup.

She started, whipping her eyes worriedly around whispering, "Nick?"

His heart froze for a moment, then he replied, "No, honey….I …didn't want to scare you."

Following his voice, her eyes locked on his.

She hesitated as to her next move.

Sara wanted so much to just be near him.

But she worried about Nick's reaction if he found them together here at this time of night.

The decision was taken out of her hands, however, when a voice from behind her intoned, "Can't sleep, darlin'?"

Sara's head whipped around, but then her body relaxed as Logan approached her.

"Looks like the last Musketeer has arrived," Gil drawled mirthlessly, taking a sip from his mug.

Logan placed a hand softly on Sara's shoulder.

"Relax, darlin'…go sit down and I'll get you some tea."

He pushed her towards Gil's location.

He moved over from his spot on the bench, hoping she would sit next to him.

Not meeting his eyes, Sara slid into the bench on the other side of the table, with Logan joining her a moment later.

Thanking him for the tea, Sara fell quiet.

Logan leaned back and stretched weakly. "Helluva day…" he sighed then looked at Sara and queried, "How are you feeling now, Sara?"

The use of her name instead of his pet nickname caught her attention. Logan stared at her, willing to wait for the answer that evaded him and was partially to blame for his insomnia.

Gil was a bit more impatient, prodding her roughly, "Sara??"

_Sitting in the corner was a bad move_, she thought, _no escape…no escape_…

She felt the bile rising and closed her eyes to get her emotions under control.

The soft warmth of Logan's arm around her shoulder made her wince in relief, the gesture being what she hadn't realized she was missing this long night.

"I'm fine," she began, but her words made Grissom chortle in disbelief.

She glared at him, but Logan interrupted before she took out her misplaced anger on this man who would be her lover in an alternate timeline.

"No one's here to judge, sweetheart," he said, glaring at Gil to keep his emotions under control.

Sara closed her eyes for a long moment, before opening them and looking at Gil and then Logan.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I don't know _what_ is wrong with me."

Logan leaned in and increased the pressure of his hug a bit.

"You are still recuperating, darlin'. These things take time. You've been through a lot. Is the medicine helping at all? Should I call Dr. Craig?"

At that suggestion, Sara released herself from his grasp, almost begging, "Please…don't …don't do that. I'm fine. The medicine is just fine."

Worry crossed Gil's face, but he said nothing to irritate Sara even more.

"And you've been taking it as prescribed?" asked Logan, a bit suspicious that something wasn't adding up.

"Yes," said Sara firmly, but there did seem to be more to the story.

Dropping the subject, Logan decided to take Sara's mind off all her worries by telling tales of Buttercup and Billy's attempts to shoe the smart mare.

Story after story fell from his lips, and soon Sara was smiling and giggling over Billy's antics.

Seeing her attempt to stifle a yawn, Logan leaned over and said, "It's late, why not try again to get some sleep."

When Sara nodded tiredly, Logan stood and took her hand, insisting on tucking her in.

Before she left, Sara removed her hand from Logan's gentle grip and moved towards Gil.

He looked up into her eyes as Sara smiled down at him.

She covered his hand with her fragile grip and whispered "Goodnight, Gil."

He responded with twinkling eyes and a huge grin, taking her hand and kissing her palm before saying, "Goodnight, sweetheart."

Logan returned to the kitchen a short time later, engaging Gil in a conversation about his concerns over Sara's health.

The two men continued to chat about many things and were surprised that the night had slipped away from them as they welcomed Emma Anne on her arrival.

--

The maid had gone about her early morning routine, checking rooms for needed items, or straightening beds as the family rose at different times.

Logan and Gil parted, agreeing to spend some time at the stables this morning after breakfast.

That is how Emma Anne found them in the dining room, alone again as the earliest risers.

Looking over her shoulder, she felt this was adequately private enough to discuss her discovery.

Moving with her back to the door, she quickly told Logan that in her early morning check of the bedrooms, she had uncovered something which disturbed her.

From her pocket, she pulled out a prescription bottled labeled "Sara Sidle".

"Yes, Emma? This is Sara's prescription. I picked it up myself not a few days ago."

"That's what's so strange," Emma Anne leaned forward, "I found this in Nick's bathroom garbage."

Both men locked eyes on the bottle, then on each other.

Gil held his hand out, asking her to relinquish her hold on it.

Once in hand, Gil gently cracked open the lid, spilling the capsules in his hand.

After a quick count, Gil's face was turning red with an unreadable emotion.

"There's only four missing…which means she did _not_ take any last evening as she was supposed to!"

"And I wonder who is responsible for _that_?" he added heatedly.

"Responsible for what?" Nick asked as he entered the room.

Logan eyed Emma Anne and inclined his head indicating she should leave them.

Rising, Logan slid closed the doors leaving Nick standing while he returned to his seat opposite Gil at the far end of the table.

"Nick…while you were gone, Dr. Craig prescribed some medication for Sara, and-"

"And _I_ threw it away!" Nick interrupted, almost challenging his father to disagree with his actions.

"Nick, they were prescribed as a temporary help for her recuperation," Logan tried again to make Nick understand.

He didn't want to go into the full story about Sara's reaction to the stress of the upcoming marriage; Nick didn't seem amenable to that conversation at present.

"_You_ saw her yesterday, she wasn't at all herself," Nick countered heatedly.

He turned to glare at Grissom, "_Something's_ happened to my future wife, and I believe those pills are partially responsible."

His body swiveled towards Gil. With a look of indignation, he spat out, "Couldn't seduce her unless she was drugged, eh Gil?"

Gil was out of his seat in a heartbeat. He really wanted to hurt Nick_. _

_How could he think that I would ever do something like that to Sara?_

Logan's hand landed swiftly on Nick's arm, whipping him around violently.

"_That_ man saved Sara's life. You _will _be civil to him in my home, is that clear, Nicholas?"

Nick shrugged off his father's hand and stood tall as he moved to confront Grissom.

Neither man blinked.

Again, Logan swung Nick around as he chastised Nick for not putting Sara's well being ahead of his petty jealousy.

Nick was having none of it.

"She doesn't need to take that crap! If she needs something to make her feel better, _that's what I am here for_!"

Gil spoke, betraying his agitation, "No, Nick. She needs to listen to her doctor. This isn't about you. If you really loved her-"

Nick was losing control. "IF I loved her? What would _you_ know about loving Sara? Oh, wait," he was in Gil's face again.

"I forgot, you _do _know, don't you? Well, _too late_, pal," he hissed.

"Now, if you gentlemen will excuse me, "Nick said, "I need to go find Sara."

Before he slid open the door, his temper got the better of him and he turned to warn, "And Grissom! Just stay the hell away from _my wife_!"

With that, Nick stormed out of the room and angrily stalked up the steps towards Sara's room.

Logan made to follow, but Gil stopped him.

"We all need time to cool down. I don't want Sara upset," Gil said.

The two resumed their places at the table, neither much interested in eating as they were consumed with solving the problems of Sara's medication and Nick's escalating temper.

--

Sara, oblivious to the confrontation that had just taken place, was stepping from the shower she hoped would give her some energy after her sleepless night.

She had also been worried about the tremors that seemed to be increasing in intensity.

Her pill bottle missing since yesterday, Sara was sure Nick had taken it and was not looking forward to asking him about it, fearing another repeat of yesterday's incident.

Opening the door to her room, her movements stopped as she found she was not alone.

Reclining on her bed was Nick, obviously furious about something.

Sara hoped it wasn't something she had done.

"Nick," she spoke tentatively, "what…what are you doing here?"

The look her gave her made her blood cold.

"Come here, Sara," he voiced, more of a command than a request.

Sara could not bring herself to move.

Angrily, Nick swept towards her in a blinding motion, grabbing her towards him as he tried to propel them towards her bed.

"Nick," Sara tried to remain calm as she attempted to move away from him, "Nick, please, I…I'm not dressed…I-"

The smile Nick sent her way created terror in her heart.

"For what we are going to do, honey, I'd say you're dressed _just fine_."

Sara flinched as she felt his lips assault her neck and his tongue plunge down her cleavage.

She wriggled, and he laughed wickedly as he pushed her down onto her bed, pinning her with his body.

"Did you miss me, Sara? Cause I told you how much I missed you, honey" Nick drawled as his hands fought with hers to remove the towel that covered her moist skin.

Trembling uncontrollably, Sara felt the bile rising quickly in her throat.

"Nick, I am going to be sick…please…let me go…"

"Go? Oh, _no ma'am_," he whispered heatedly as he covered her backside with roving hands as he pressed them further into her mattress.

"We're going to stay right here, Sara…just you and me…"

Sara found she couldn't breathe as Nick covered her mouth in a punishing kiss.

"See, honey…you're trembling with anticipation again," he said as he pressed her closer to his arousal.

"But, your wait is over, darlin'…time for us to hook up proper like," he whispered into her hair as his hands moved to lock both her wrists up over her head.

"Nick…no…please…not like this….Nick!...NO!" Sara was shaking her head trying unsuccessfully to move away from his advances.

Nick began to undo his belt buckle while his tongue flipped over her taut lips.

The sound of his zipper sliding made Sara increase her wriggling to free herself from his grip.

"No!...Nick, please...stop!...please…" she forced out softly, terror preventing her from projecting her voice any louder.

"Don't fight it, honey…you know you're going to like it…" Nick smiled as he pinned her legs and moved to release himself from the constraints of his clothing.

Sara closed her eyes, willing herself not to relive this nightmare from her childhood.

Suddenly, as she suddenly felt the pressure on her hands and wrists released, she looked up in horror to find Nick being propelled backwards in midair.

"_WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING_?" Logan's angry voice cutting through the haze of distorted passion that had threatened Sara's safety.

Nick glared at his father, spouting, "This does not concern you! This is between me and _my wife_!"

Logan ignored him for a moment, turning towards Sara who was grabbing her towel and running into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it forcefully.

The judge moved to the door, asking as calmly as he could muster, "Darlin', are you alright?"

Meekly from inside, Sara took a deep breath as she rose from her position over the commode where seconds before she had vomited the bile that refused to stay down.

Hand pressed to the inside of the door, she mustered a strong enough voice to convince Logan, "I'm fine, Dad. Honestly…it…I…you don't understand…it wasn't what it must have looked like."

Unconvinced, Logan spun around, eyes ablaze.

"Sara is your fiancée, _NOT_ your wife…and certainly _not_ your property! YOU, sir, do NOT have the right to say what she will or will not allow!"

Having had enough time to rearrange his clothing, Nick just glared at his father.

Pinning Nick with an icy glare, his father barked, "_DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!"_

Unnerved by the intensity of his father's wrath, Nick recoiled a bit from his father's location, but spat, "Just stay out of this, Dad," before charging to and slamming open the door and pounding down the stairs and out the front door.

Logan closed his eyes and willed his heart to stop pounding.

_If that had been Gil who found them…_he shuddered at what might have occurred.

Concerned about Sara, Logan was going to knock on the bathroom door but changed his mind as he heard the shower being used.

He placed his hand gently on the door, worried about the effect of this episode on Sara's already precarious emotional state.

Sadly, Logan moved towards the bed, looking down at the quilt laying tangled and displaying a reminder of the struggle Sara must have put up against Nick's advances.

Fury raging inside him, Logan found himself removing the comforter and balling it up angrily before taking it out the French doors and throwing it over the railing.

He stood there for a while staring blankly at the heavens before he heard Emma Anne behind him, questioning, "Sir?"

Logan closed his eyes, turning a weak smile to her, as he instructed her to remake Sara's bed with brand new bedding.

He planned to find that comforter and burn it down at the stables first thing this afternoon.

Logan stormed out of the room and Emma Anne left by the servant's corridor to get the fresh bedding.

Hearing no sound on the other side of the door, Sara peeked out.

Seeing she was alone, she raced to gather an outfit and scurried back into the safety of the bathroom to change.

Feeling slightly off kilter, Sara was hoping to get out of the house for awhile and try to make sense of what had happened to Nick this morning.

She had to get away – the impulse to run into the safety of Gil's arms as too overpowering.

She was going to make this marriage work.

She would do anything to protect Gil.

Nick was really obsessed with her, she understood that clearly now.

But more that her fears for her own safety, she feared for what he would do to punish Grissom if she jilted him this close to their wedding day.

That is how Sara found herself stealing out the front door undetected, heading towards the stables where she was sure Billy would keep her destination a secret.

--

After taking a hot shower to calm himself, Logan dressed and joined the family for breakfast.

The girls were chatting away with Lillian and Sofia was doing her best to bring Gil out of his thoughts.

Logan's eyes fixed on Gil's and immediately he knew something had happened.

Moving to join Logan at the coffee pot, Gil merely nodded his head when Logan whispered, "Stables in fifteen minutes."

Excusing himself with the promise to join Sofia for lunch, Gil strode confidently towards the kitchen, then used the back path to the stables.

Noticing Buttercup was not in his stall, Gil searched for Billy to see if the mare was available for an outing.

The way Billy hemmed and hawed, Gil knew immediately that Sara had been here.

"Billy, do you know where Sara is?" Gil pleaded.

About to deny any knowledge, Billy changed his mind as Logan's voice added, "It's important, Bill."

Logan only called him Bill when the stakes were high and time was of the essence.

He turned towards the worried pair and said, "Don't know for sure. She seemed – I don't know – upset? Said she needed to go somewhere beautiful for a while. Didn't make sense to me. I just figured she was in one of those "women's moods". You know, like when they finish them damn romance novels and want to "commune with nature" for a while?"

Logan placed his hand on Billy's shoulders and said, "I can assure you, it was not like that."

Turning towards Gil, he spoke softly, "I think you should go, Gil. I need to stick around and see if I can reach that thick-headed son of mine."

Torn between finding out what had transpired and finding out where Sara was, Gil merely nodded and followed Billy who helped him saddle his stallion quickly.

Soon, Gil's horse was trotting down the path that led towards the cabin and the pond.

He was sure that Sara would go there to regain her inner peace.

Logan had not disclosed what had happened, but Gil was sure she was upset and needed a shoulder to lean on right now.

A short time later, Gil passed the cabin where they had spent their final afternoon together, and smiled when he heard Buttercup whinny softly in the thicket that surrounded the pond.

Reaching the opening that led towards the pond, he first noticed Sara kneeling down distractedly to pick another daisy to add to her already full bouquet.

At the sound of the stallion breathing some ways behind her, Sara startled and dropped her flowers in a terrified motion.

"What's wrong, Sara?" Gil asked as he quickly dismounted and moved towards her.

"Just stay where you are!" Sara spoke angrily.

"Can't a person just be alone for a while?" she muttered so heatedly the proverbial steam was practically pouring from her ears.

Agitated, Gil tried to remain calm as he spoke. "Sara, we were just worried about you."

She moved swiftly before him, eyes blazing, hands on her hips. "Well, then you can just UN-worry about me!"

She turned to leave but he caught her upper arm and swung her around.

He glared at her with eyes that were lighted with fury, anger, and…passion.

"_You_ are the most _exasperating_ woman I have ever known!"

Working out her anger at the morning's events, Sara just glared at him, moving closer and shouting, "IS THAT RIGHT?"

"Yes! It is!" he countered, face reddening with emotion.

"Then just leave me alone!" she shouted, and turned again towards pond only to find herself whipped around again – into his strong embrace.

He kissed her passionately, and she found herself clinging to him, her lifeline.

But after a moment, as they broke away for a much needed breath, Sara looked away before smiling up into her adoring gaze and backed away from him.

"Sara?" he croaked, but she just shook her head.

"You can't stay here, Gil," she gulped before continuing in a defeated tone, "our time is….over."

He stood there unable to speak as he watched her return to the pond, picking up her fallen flowers and tossing them in tandem out into the water depths, watching them sink below the water's edge.

"Your flowers," Gil protested, but Sara just smiled sadly.

"I have never been much of a dreamer, Gil."

"Everyone has dreams, Sara," Gil spoke reassuringly as he moved closer to her.

She sighed and continued, "I used to dream of waking happily and finding myself in a field of daisies."

His chest hurt as the gentle smile dropped from her face.

"These flowers," she said watching them fade from sight below the murky depths, "are like the rest of my dreams. They're all…_gone_."

Her tone is so matter-of-fact that it takes his breath away.

"I'm going back now," Sara sighed, simply ignoring his outstretched hand, mounting Buttercup with little fanfare and steering the mare through the thicket.

_She left without so much as a goodbye._

Gil stood there for a long time just looking at the remnants of Sara's daisies descending to the bottom of the silent pond.

--

Logan was glad to see Sara ride into the stables, but was taken aback as she refused his help to dismount.

"Sara," he began, wanting to talk about her terrible ordeal, but she just waved her hand in his direction, yelled out a thank you to Billy, and strode determinedly towards the ranchhouse.

Gil rode up about fifteen minutes later with a blanket strewn across his saddle bag. Dismounting, he was joined by Logan and Billy, who voiced their concerns about Sara's emotional state.

All Gil could offer was that he would speak to Sara at his earlier opportunity.

Then, retrieving the saddle bag from his horse, Gil left the stable like a man on a mission.

--

Some time later, Sara was still sitting in the corner of her shower, clutching her hands around her knees.

Deep in thought, she chose to escape the bad memories of today while replaying the events of a week ago – when she had been happy.

She was at a loss as to what to say to Nick when she saw him again, and shuddered to think that it would be sooner than later.

Realizing the water was getting cold, she did not want to risk Lillian's wrath for wasting all the hot water. She just couldn't bear an angry Lillian today.

Sara gasped at the clock-radio imbedded in the bathroom wall.

_Surely it hasn't been an hour since I came in here!_

Ignoring the slight shake in her hand, Sara reached for the doorknob with two hands and opened it securely.

Upon stepping into her room, Sara's jaw dropped and she stood in shock.

There, upon her new silken quilt lay almost five dozen freshly picked daisies scattered all over the surface.

As she moved forward, hand pressed in awe over her gaping mouth, she noticed a note folded with neatly scrawled letters that read "SARA"

Hand shaking even more, she reached out to pluck it from its resting place.

Tears filled Sara's eyes as she read,

"Thyself away are present still with me; For thou not farther than my thoughts canst move,

And I am still with them, and they with me. (Shakespeare sonnet 47)

_Keep your memories close, Sara. It's where true love lives on."_

-G

Sara gave into the urge to spring herself onto the bed.

Displaying the first true smile in two days, Sara closed her eyes taking in the fragrance of the gift.

She opened the card and reread the sentiment.

Dropping it down beside her, she nervously picked up a daisy and thought of Nick.

From her childhood she plucked the petals in order, singing softly, "He loves me, he loves me not…." Sara stared at the naked stem after ending with a negative.

Smiling, she picked up another flower, thought of Gil and began to sing softly again,

This time, she smiled as the naked stem had pronounced that indeed Grissom was in love with Sara Sidle.

Stretching and scooping up a large amount of daisies into her hands, Sara kicked her legs and threw the daisies upward with some force.

As they rained down upon her full faced smile, Sara closed her eyes happily and sighed, "Oh, Gil!"


	24. Chapter 24

--"You are

A/N: **This chapter is rated M just in case for mild intimate behaviors. Please read responsibly. **I just don't want anyone to be offended by language. Anyway, another late night post, because the summer job has started. I found I had to split this chapter into two parts…there is just SO much going on in Nick's house!...but at 1a.m. I just had to stop, and I wanted to get you an update so the wait wasn't so long…so hopeful to publish again tomorrow…thanks for the reviews and support…no time to reread for mistakes, so be forgiving as you read until I have time to fix any errors…this story is such a joy to write (because "I" know what's going to happen : P )…more soon…you people are amazingly terrific!...hope it pleases! -Kathy

--**"You are cordially invited to Nick and Sara's Wedding in **_**four**_**days"**

--

Stretching lazily, Sofia nestled her head softly against the mound of pillows stacked against her rattan headboard.

She smiled as she wondered if this morning was going to be as surprising as yesterday…

--

After Gil and Logan had exited the dining room hastily, obviously disturbed by something, Sofia made her way to her bedroom – to find Nick perched on her bed.

"Well, it took you long enough!" Nick muttered so as not to be overheard by anyone else in the hallway.

Sofia had quickly shut her door and sashayed over to stand between Nick's outstretched legs.

He pulled her to him harshly, making Sofia whip her blonde hair back suggestively.

"My, my, my, Mr. Stokes," she breathed, stroking his lips slowly, "but you are an impatient young man!"

Nick kissed her powerfully, as Sofia raked her fingernails in a downward motion, beginning with his belt loop.

Releasing herself from his kiss, she breathed, "Trouble with little miss goody-two-shoes?"

Nick picked Sofia up angrily and tossed her onto the mattress, making them bounce slightly until the mattress returned to its solid state.

"Don't!" Nick warned. He smacked her lips with a punishing kiss.

Sofia was unaffected, churning his anger with her taunting.

"Perhaps, Nicky, she just doesn't know what to do with a stud like _you_…" she continued, slipping her hands into his back pockets and yanking him forward as she wriggled under his arousal.

Nick had not calmed down since his attempt at engaging in intimate relations with Sara had been interrupted less than a half hour before.

Instead, he had stomped around outside, kicking at the ground, uprooting some of the toughest weeds that insisted on growing along the cement walkway.

Finally, he knew he could not approach Sara until he had vented his passionate anger somehow.

It didn't take him long to remember that Sofia was just upstairs.

Using the back stairway through the kitchen, Nick had scaled the stairs and sat in wait for Sofia to return.

Nick had almost ripped the clothes off Sofia, who in turn popped a few buttons as she helped Nick disrobe.

Their union was hot and sweaty, and Nick was discovering that he was becoming addicted to the sensation of overpowering his partner – as Sofia had encouraged and allowed.

They had met five times in the days Sara was gone.

Sofia knew how to prey on lonely men.

Especially men who, as Sofia would confide, were "well endowed".

Once they had satisfied each other, however, there was no lazy period of basking in the glow of making love.

No, this was about sexual gratification only.

Within minutes, they were separating and redressing.

Sofia always finished donning her new outfit first, then she would turn to her partner, aiding with a helpful hand in re-buttoning shirts or re-looping belts into their original position.

Always with a few French kisses thrown in as a parting gift…

--

But today, Sofia wasn't sure _how_ Nick was feeling or if he would be interested in finding some "special attention" before joining Sara for the day.

If Nick didn't arrive soon, she would shower and change and head down to breakfast, perhaps testing the waters to see if Gil was ready yet for her take a "dip".

That thought would have to wait, though, as she heard more than saw the handle on her bedroom door turn.

Her sultry smile beckoned him to enter, as she pulled off the teddy she had worn to sleep and ran a hand through her long hair, crooking a finger in his direction as she whispered, " 'Morning, Nicky…"

--

A bit later, Sara was also forcing herself out of bed.

She had spent a restless night, the bedside clock taunting her into reliving memories of the magic hours spent with Gil…

In addition, Sara was having difficulty dealing with the countdown towards the wedding…

And then…there was her encounter with Nick…

Swinging her legs over the side, she sat a bit trying to control the tremor that was already starting in her right hand.

A sad smile played over lips as she looked at the huge bouquet of daisies that adorned her nightstand in the old hollow ceramic oversized mug that served as a makeshift vase.

Next to them was the letter from Nick Sara found slipped under her door.

Having risen from collecting the "field of daisies" Gil had left for her, Sara immediately saw the small folder sheet of paper almost clearing the door jam.

Smiling, she expected it to be another note from Gil.

Fingers almost touching it, her hand recoiled in shock as she noticed the handwriting.

Hastily scrawled, it had simply read:

"_Sara, Come to the stables after dinner. I will be waiting. –Nick"_

--

Sara had been too anxious to eat, opting instead to steer her glances anywhere but at Nick's empty place at the table.

"_I will be waiting…"_

Logan and Lillian were completing plans to spend tomorrow running errands and meeting with their friend who would be officiating at the wedding on Saturday.

Lillian was trying to get Logan to agree to an early rising, and his daughters were enjoying watching their dad protest just to get a rise out of their mother; their dad always gave in to her demands in the end. He just liked the dance, much to his girls' giggling delight.

_He's just such an amazing father, _Sara started to muse, when her internal clock began ringing to urge her not to be late.

Using the kitchen door to leave unseen by the family, Sara had wrapped her arms around herself and had wish she could do anything except come face to face with Nick.

He noted her apprehension.

Sighing, Nick leaned against one of the support beams while Sara stood across and leaned on an opposite pole, keeping one foot ready to bolt if he initiated a move towards her.

Nick did not move near her. He said he simply wanted to talk.

He hated that look in her eyes. What was it? Fear? Worry? Contempt?

Nick began by saying he had a few things to say to her.

He had thought long and hard about it, and had finally understood what happened.

Nick was going to tell her why things had escalated as they did.

Sara shifted nervously, but was ready to endure his rationalization of the events – anything to restore the calm between Nick and his father.

So Nick began talking – and Sara was more than a bit taken aback by the next things he said.

In a nutshell, _she_ was to blame for everything that had happened.

_She_ had withheld sex from their relationship in a bid to control him, to make him beg for what was his entitlement as her future husband.

_She_ had flirted and thrown her attraction to Grissom in his face constantly, making him wonder if she would be faithful to him after their marriage.

_She _had wormed her way into his father's affections, knowing he would be all cavalier and run to her rescue, making him turn against his own son to please her.

Nick moved closer to a speechless Sara now, his breath heavy on her face.

"I don't want to fight with you, Sara. Just…let's stop the games, okay…we have only a few days and then we will have all the time in the world to sort the rest of it out."

She stiffened as he held her, rubbing his hands lightly over her back in what was supposed to be a romantic gesture.

Sara had summoned the courage to speak, "And…if I have changed my mind about the wedding?"

She was surprised at the sudden change in his mood.

Nick stood away from her saying nothing.

For a heartbeat, his eyes did the talking.

When he spoke it was low, and menacing.

"YOU are going to marry _me_ at the end of this week, Sara. Or Grissom WILL suffer the consequences."

Closing his eyes for a moment, and upon reopening them he practically sneered at her as he continued.

"And he is just going to _love_ you for that, isn't he? The great Dr. Gil Grissom – his face splashed on every front page as the Public Defender's office calls into question every conviction made by evidence that was possibly biased by your illicit relationship with him."

"Nick, please…stop," Sara whispered, shivering slightly.

"Oh, and he is going to love you so much, Sara, that he will take you away from Vegas…oh?...but where will you go, Sara?" he taunted her with a fury in his eyes.

He grinned evilly as he placed his hands on her upper arms.

"_Who _is going to hire _him_, especially bringing his _baggage_ with him?"

Sara flinched, as she heard the words "his baggage" – she had always feared she would be an albatross around Gil's neck.

She knew what little she had to offer him, that's why even when he couldn't bring himself to make a move, Sara always felt Gil was somehow justified in refusing to enter a relationship with her.

"Think about it, Sara…Who's going to hire him with _you_ hanging on to him?"

"Please…Nick…" she moaned, as the bile threatened to gag her.

Nick shook her a bit violently as he forced her eyes to meet his.

"Are you _worth_ it, Sara? Are you worth _ruining a great career_ over?"

She closed her eyes as she fought unsuccessfully to subdue the tremors.

That was when Nick enveloped her in a bear hug.

She was repulsed by the loving gesture, but remained silent.

Sara knew that the wrong word would be the beginning of the end for Gil. She loved him enough to maintain her silence.

"Don't worry, buttercup," Nick sweetly soothed into her hair, planting tiny kisses above her ear.

"We are going to be very happy together, you'll see."

He released her slightly, still keeping her possessively in his grip.

"You are going to make _me_ a very happy man, Sara. I love you."

He stood there a moment, and it wasn't until she noticed a small furrow in his brow, and his impatient stance that she understood and dutifully pronounced, "I …love you, too…Nicky."

Feeling like that was all behind them now, Nick jovially wrapped his arm around Sara and began to walk back together towards the ranchhouse where they had joined the family around the fireplace for the rest of the evening.

As soon as they had exited the main doors of the horse barn, Nick and Sara were too far away to see the shadowy figure emerge from the dark corner of the stable.

--

Having showered and dressed, Sara descended the polished wooden staircase and entered the dining room.

Logan smiled in greeting, but Sara kept her eyes diverted from his side of the room.

Moving to pour a cup of hot tea, she shuddered partially because it was now the second day without taking the prescribed medication, and partially because Logan had moved swiftly to now stand behind her.

"Only tea, Sara? You didn't eat much at dinner last night, and now – no breakfast?"

Glancing in his direction and noting his concern, Sara gave him a perfunctory smile and said she'd grab something later on.

Eavesdropping on their conversation, Nick moved forward and stood by Sara.

Ignoring his father, he spoke to Sara, "You need to eat something, Sara! There's a lot to do today and you need to be able to keep up!"

Logan glared protectively at Nick and spat, "She needs to eat to recuperate, not to be run ragged doing silly chores for this reception, Nick!"

Not wanting to be the cause of another argument, Sara picked up a plate and said, "It's alright…Nick is right…I…I need to eat…"

At that moment, the strain of holding in her emotions started a new wave of tremors and the dish fell from her hands and hit the floor at an angle that smashed the china into chunks and shards of colored rubble.

"Sara!" Logan startled, pulling her away protectively from the debris area.

"Darlin', did you take your medication?" knowing she hadn't and wanting Nick to understand how her condition was being affected without it.

"She doesn't need to take that crap, I told you already!" Nick blistered, pulling Sara out of Logan's reach.

"Nick…" Logan tried to remain calm, for he could see the devastating effect that this division with Nick was causing her.

"Just give it up, dad…NO PILLS!" Nick said hotly, pulling Sara gruffly to sit at the table.

Emma Anne rushed in at that moment, and seeing the floor left quickly to grab a broom and dustpan.

She noticed the tension in the air as she reentered, so she kept her eyes down while she worked.

It wasn't until she finished that she glanced at Sara who looked pale and was obviously fighting tears.

The maid left the silent room, closing the sliding doors on her way, and deposited the broken china in the garbage.

Washing her hands quickly, she dried them on her apron as she raced up the steps to the servant's corridor and found herself rapping lightly on Gil's door.

Meanwhile, Logan had seated himself across from Sara after handing her a fresh cup of hot tea.

Not wanting to upset her further, he refrained from speaking and just continued to watch her withdraw within herself.

Nick, meanwhile, was filling a plate with scrambled eggs, warm mini bagels, apple streudel danish, and fresh fruit salad.

It was his usual breakfast plate, yet far more than Sara's small stomach would ever hold.

Placing it in front of Sara, Nick yanked a chair next to her, and in a friendly voice that seemed a bit forced, said, "Now, eat Sara. We can't have you destroying things everytime you decide to go on a hunger strike!"

Logan's brows were furled, and Sara was about to protest when the dining room doors slid open to reveal Gil's presence in the doorway.

Taking in the body language of the individuals in the room, Gil deduced that Emma Anne had reason to be concerned about Sara.

Raising one eyebrow, he merely greeted everyone civilly and then moved towards the coffee tray to pour a cup.

Nick was about to resume his obnoxious treatment of Sara when Jeremy appeared at the doorway, informing Nick that he had a phone call.

Sending dagger glances towards his father, he turned his chair outward to "mark his spot" and leaned over to give Sara a tender kiss on the forehead before claiming Grissom's eyes and leaving the room smiling.

Sara sat looking at her hands, not wanting to have one more person ask how she was feeling.

She was feeling like a bug under one of Grissom's microscopes.

So she sat patiently, waiting for the fighting to begin.

She was surprised, though, when her downward glance caught Gil's hand removing her plate and placing it near his place setting at the end of the table.

Still standing, Gil returned to the buffet and filled a bowl with a half dozen pieces of assorted berries, laying a mini bagel on top.

He took the liberty of laying his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it a little as he leaned in to say, "Hey, do you think you could eat just a little of this, to keep your strength up?"

Sara couldn't help but turn her head and smile in reply. "I'll try. I'm just not that hungry."

"I understand, sweet-" Gil caught himself and stopped in mid-sentence, squeezing Sara's shoulder once more before returning to his seat.

By the time Nick returned the plates had been cleared away, with Nick following Emma Anne to ask if there had been any food left on the plates.

She smiled and answered that all plates had been cleared.

Nick felt vindicated and swaggered a bit as he returned to the dining room.

Until that time, Logan had been engaged in a pleasant conversation about his trip to town with Lillian, outlining their agenda that would keep them away from the ranch until late this evening.

Now that Nick had returned, Logan was standing to leave when an impatient Lillian came flying through the door.

"Hurry, Logan dear, the driver's waiting and we have such a huge amount of details to see to," she cried as she moved towards the judge in an attempt to plead her case more earnestly.

"Have a good day…dad…" Sara spoke with a true smile on her face.

"Judge," Emma Anne came rushing in, slightly upset that she couldn't get him alone to deliver the message.

"Yes, Emmie?" the judge teased.

"Oh, are you leaving right now? Um…well, you see sir, Billy came in early today and he called and said he needed to speak with you as soon as you could."

"Well," the judge began, but Lillian was having none of it.

"Oh no you don't Logan Stokes! That cowboy can just wait until tomorrow to waste your time about those infernal horses. Today I demand your total attention on these wedding details!" Lillian huffed and stood before him, defying him to disagree with her.

"Perhaps I can call him from the car phone…" Logan thought aloud, but Lillian continued to protest.

"Total attention on these wedding details!" Lillian repeated.

Logan sighed and turned towards Emma Anne.

"Emmie, please call Billy and leave the message that he's my first priority _tomorrow_," his emphasis clearly for his wife's benefit.

Logan was puzzled at the worried look on her face, as he watched the maid depart to deliver his reply.

Placing a quick kiss on the top of Sara's head, Logan wished them a good day.

Pausing at the door, Logan spoke lightly but nailed Nick's attention as he spoke.

"And perhaps it would be good for Sara to get out and off the ranch today, Nick. Maybe go into town for a movie, lunch, some shopping."

Just as Nick was considering it, Logan turned once more and charmingly added, "And perhaps Gil and Sofia would like to join you…"

With that, Mr. and Mrs. Stokes disappeared out the ornate main doors.

"Actually, Sar, that's not a bad idea…" Nick began, but was cut off by a sultry voice at the doorway.

"You always do have _great_ ideas, "Sofia swooned as she reached for the delicate china cup to hold her morning coffee…

The geek mind meld fully operational, Gil and Sara locked eyes for a brief moment.

The thoughts of having to listen to Sofia as she flirted with Nick caused Gil to mentally sigh, "Oh, brother…"

The thoughts of having to spend the day enduring Sofia as she flirted with both men caused Sara to mentally sigh, "Oh, Gil…"

…Day Four To Be Continued…


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: DO NOT ASK ME WHERE THIS CHAPTER CAME FROM…as you can see at the beginning, it was starting out in a COMPLETELY different direction…but these two always get the story told in their own good time…I can't promise an update for a day or two, but as soon as possible I promise…I am going to end the "double date" here, much to my personal disappointment…Instead, I will wait until the Las Vegas gang arrives _tomorrow_ before we see another "off the ranch" excursion…thanks so much for the amazing reviews and reader support…you can thank jenstog for the idea of finding time to post by not needing to sleep, as I post this again upon completion at close to 2a.m. (she's scary, so I usually try to keep her happy)… : ) … seriously, there's no time to reread, all mistakes are mine…you people are terrific…love being part of this fan fiction community…more soon, promise… -Kathy

--

"**You are cordially invited to Nick and Sara's Wedding in **_**four**_**days"**

--

Within the hour, the four CSIs found themselves on the way into town.

Nick had decided to take the family's 1965 Ford Mustang Convertible, putting the top down before the others had even reached the three-car garage.

Grissom had been the first to exit from the ranchhouse. Upon seeing Nick fiddling with the fabric top, he turned and went back into the home.

Sofia and Sara exited simultaneously but from separate doorways.

Sofia practically shrieked at the sight of the classic car, practically running Sara over on the walkway that led to where Nick was just adjusting the last snap over the compressed car top.

"Nick! Ooooh…a classic car! A convertible nonetheless! Now _that_ takes me back to my college days!"

Sofia continued her reminiscences while Sara slowly made her way down the path.

She knew Logan just wanted her to enjoy a nice day, but she wished he had just stayed out of it.

The idea of an entire afternoon spent with Sofia and her bouncy breasts was just more than she bargained for today.

_And she would be paired off with Gil_, Sara thought sadly, bringing her shoulders down a bit more_._

She saw Nick looking in her direction, so she straightened up a bit and started to call out to him, only to discover him speaking to Gil who was walking directly behind her.

"Ready to show Sofia a good time, there, Grissom?" he smirked condescendingly, suddenly feeling a small slap of Sofia's hand on his arm.

"Nick Stokes! You are incorrigible!" Sofia laughed a bit too loud for Sara's liking.

As Nick and Sofia were trading barbs, Gil had caught up with Sara and propelled her forward gently by the press of his opened hand on the back of her shirt.

Her skin burned at this touch. Neither could bear to look at each other.

Sofia had almost jumped into the car without opening the door, as Nick helped her swing her long legs inside the car without pretense of modesty.

Sara turned her head away from the scene, as she tried to squelch the idea that Nick and Sofia were exhibiting behaviors that spoke of more than a platonic relationship.

Watching her avert her eyes, Gil fumed at the worry Nick was leaving Sara to deal with.

He needed to get her alone. He needed to hold her and try to make this whole crazy situation _better_ for her somehow.

Gil realized more than ever that he needed to make another effort to get Sara to abandon this idea of marrying Nick.

_Look at him. He has the best of everything, and he appreciates nothing. If it were _I_ who was going to marry Sara in four days-_

The thought resurfaced for the hundredth time this week that Gil _had_ once been given a chance, and he elected to throw himself in to his work instead of choosing Sara – a choice he would regret until his dying day.

Walking around the car to open the door for Sara, Nick moved swiftly and brushed Gil aside, as if to say, _I can take over from here_.

While Sara buckled herself in and listened to Nick close the door behind her, Gil moved to the open side door and readied himself for the drive.

Sofia was still sitting on the back of the driver's seat, observing that once Gil was seated he took his balled up coat and placed it securely in the middle seat.

She frowned inwardly as she thought that this trip to town was not going to be as much fun as she originally had planned.

Moving to belt herself in, Sofia lazed her long legs diagonally on the seat, her heels lightly grazing Gil's thigh. Staring ahead through his sunglasses, Grissom did not react.

Sara sat introspectively in the front seat, as Nick raced up to the house for "just one more thing…"

Sara was going to call out to him, wanting to ask him to retrieve her sunglasses as she was not prepared for the beating of the sun on her body, causing her a great deal of discomfort.

Before Sara could speak, however, her peripheral vision noted Gil's outstretched arm coming towards her.

"Sara – did you want to take your sunglasses today?" he asked softly, and Sara's heart hurt at the joy she couldn't reveal caused by his loving gesture.

"Thank you, yes," she replied, her eyes much more comfortable wearing the shades.

At that, Nick hopped into the car and took off, a bit too speedily, just confirming again to Sara that she should have stayed at home.

For the half hour trip to the outskirts of town, Sofia serenaded the car's occupants with sing-along selections from the oldie's station.

Nick kept throwing his glance back through the rear view mirror at Sofia's blonde hair blown around in the wind tunnel of the convertible's motion.

These glances were supposed to be nonchalant turns of his head, but one time he caught Gil's sunglasses scowling in his direction, and the driver quickly discontinued the practice.

Unbeknownst to Nick, Gil had actually _not _been paying any attention to Nick's actions.

He was too busy concentrating on the back of Sara's head, nodding uncomfortably in the force of the wind that shot over her closed window.

It seemed as if she had been nodding off to sleep, which concerned Gil as they had only been on the road for a short time.

"Sa-ra!" Nick whined when he realized she had shut her window. "Your window is ruining the overall effect of riding in this baby!" he pouted.

"Nick," Sara said so softly Gil still couldn't hear her reply even though he strained to hear it.

"I'm…cold," she shrugged seemingly unaffected by Nick's rolling eyes.

Actually, Sara was getting concerned herself as being covered by the warm wind blowing over her should not have given her the chills.

Glancing over to see Nick's silent grimace, Sara just sighed and started to roll down her window.

Her arm's motion was halted by the presence of a warm hand on her shoulder.

"Leave it up, Sara," Gil said simply, while reaching into the ball of coat sitting next to him.

Uncurling the garment, he produced Sara's white knit sweater, the one he knew she liked because she once said it "felt like wearing a cloud."

Gil had gone back into the house to retrieve Sara's sweater as soon as he realized Nick was going to keep the top down. He had also grabbed his own to make it look less suspicious.

Recalling that she was no longer taking her medication, he was sure the shivers would be enhanced by the rushing of the wind as the car moved swiftly to their destination.

"Maybe putting this on will help with those shivers," Gil added matter-of-factly before removing his hand from her right shoulder with a tender squeeze.

_All that I have done to him, pushing him away, allowing him to think I _prefer_ to marry Nick over him…and he still does such caring things for me…_Sara thought, so overwhelmed by the intimate gesture that she was glad to be wearing sunglasses as she turned toward the side to get a grip on her emotions.

Nick was silent about the matter, making Sara wonder if he realized all that went down over the loud volume of the radio. She would be happy for little miracles.

But today was not the day for complete miracles.

Sofia had decided to sit back and watch the entire interaction with interest. Yes, she would have lots to discuss with Nick later.

--

In the meantime, Logan sat next to Lillian in the town car. The driver was making good time and they would be at their next stop in the next twenty minutes.

Logan was glad that Lillian was so caught up in her planning. This reprieve gave him time to wonder about Billy's phone call.

In all their years as friends, Billy had phone him exactly three times, preferring to find Logan himself if there was a problem.

Billy had once told Logan that he should be busy worrying about being the boss, and that it would always be Billy's job to seek _him_ out, not the other way around.

And Bill had been good to his word.

Which is why the message Emmie gave him was so puzzling. And maddening.

Maddening because he was stuck here doing mindless minutiae all day today, with Lillian.

He glanced over at Lillian as he suddenly realized she had been silent for too long.

Logan's eyebrows raised as Lillian looked a hundred miles away.

Rarely had he seen her so thought filled, and he decided to leave her to her thoughts for a bit longer.

In fact, Lillian would have welcomed the interruption to her memories.

Having recently left their brunch with some of their oldest friends from school days, the ladies' conversation had gotten around to reminiscing about their own wedding days.

Lillian had usually refrained from such an exercise, but had no recourse but to oblige them.

The women were smiling and laughing, regaling each other with stories from "behind the scenes", which caused Lillian to shake off some latent memories that were beginning to assault her.

She would have been okay, but someone mentioned Henry.

They all shook their heads, and started gossiping about what would have caused him to leave their circle of friends and just take off like he had.

Despite their attempts, Henry had simply severed any ties to them once he left town.

Several women looked at Lillian as one spoke, saying it was the oddest thing that Henry had decided to leave soon after she married Logan.

"And wasn't it odd, because he and Logan had been friends forever," was the final comment before the husbands started teasing from their end of the table that "whispered conversations" were a sign that husbands would soon be dealing with large expenditures of cash.

Glad for the reprieve, Lillian had stood and announced their busy agenda, taking her leave of the group.

Now, alone with an unsuspecting Logan, Lillian couldn't help but to acknowledge her joyfilled recollections, yet to drown in her miserable memories linked to what was supposed to be the "happiest day of her life".

_The week before the wedding, the entire bridal party was sequestered at the Stokes' ranch house. There had been activities every day: a bridal shower, a backyard barbecue, a trail ride with picnic, a bonfire – oh, it had been glorious._

_Lillian had relished being the center of attention, and having Logan's _total_ attention._

_The only thing that marred the pleasantries was the persistent phone calling from Anna._

_Realizing that none of her letters over the last few months had gotten a response from Logan, Anna contacted her host family who had made some inquiries and had to tell Anna the upsetting news that Lillian and Logan were getting married._

_Stunned, Anna had arranged a flight to return to town and meet with Logan personally._

_She had clung to the final letters that had been delivered to her before the communications blackout. They were tattered from rereading._

_She knew he loved her. She knew it was the forever kind of love._

_Anna loved Logan so much that she was willing to let go if indeed he had moved on – but she insisted on hearing it from his own lips._

_Now, Logan's oldest sister had been a friend to Lillian, and had been secreting away any correspondence from Anna after they had started arriving over the last six or seven months before the wedding._

_Had his sister read even one, she would have been overcome by the simple fact that Anna was in love with Logan, and they had made a pledge to each other many years before._

_Instead, she had burned them so as not to hinder the marriage between her brother and her best friend._

_So when his sister happened to answer the phone during the week leading up to the wedding, she had slammed down the receiver hastily, unsure of what to do now that Anna had the ability to phone Logan._

He'll hate me for keeping her letters from him. Besides, _she had rationalized_, Lillian is so much better for him and for his career.

_When her attempts to contact him by phone were not successful, telegrams began to arrive._

_Lillian happened to answer the door midweek before the wedding to accept a telegram. Upon reading it with instructions on how to contact Anna, Lillian had thrown a fit and proceeded to enlist her future in-law siblings to keep news of Anna away from Logan "so it won't upset him" this close to their wedding day._

_Spurred on by a misplaced trust in Lillian, and as they loved their brother, Logan's sisters and brother had agreed._

_In the day before and the day of the wedding, the phone rang incessantly with Anna insisting on speaking to Logan, vowing not to stop her attempts until she did speak to him._

_Logan's sister had just repeated her message that Logan was marrying Lillian and had no desire to "dredge up some past mistake"._

_Lillian winced a bit when recalling that message, for she knew Anna would be hurt by hearing it…and because she knew nothing could have been farther from the truth._

_Logan's brother kept intercepting the telegrams Anna was sending in the midst of the congratulatory ones that flowed from relatives and friends unable to make the ceremony._

_He gave all those to his sister, who destroyed them without the busy family even taking notice._

_Everyone, that is, except Henry._

_About an hour away from the beginning of the ceremony, a jubilant Lillian had just donned her headpiece and was alone in her guest suite, preparing to go down for some pre-wedding candid shots._

_With a knock on the door, she had turned expecting to find anyone but Henry standing there._

_Her face fell as she watched with horror at the daggers leaving his eyes._

"Why _did you do such a thing, Lillian?" he moved forward, grabbing her upper arms and shaking her soundly._

"_I'm…not sure…" she had started but Henry silenced her with a kiss._

"_All this time, you _knew_ how I felt about you, and yet you led me to believe that _my best friend_ had you alone in his sight."_

_Fear gripped her heart at that moment. "How?..." was all she could say before Henry brandished a crushed telegram in his fist._

_Ever poised, Lillian had stepped back and composed herself._

_In truth, she knew Henry loved her, over their college years he had professed it every chance he had, "hoping for a miracle" he would say._

_But he kept his peace once their engagement had been announced._

_Henry had tried to tell Lillian a million times that Logan cared for her, but that he was only truly in love with Anna, Logan having confessed that much to a heartsick Henry after a few too many beers._

_But Henry had never revealed his feelings for Lillian to anyone except to her._

_Now he stood here, begging her for one last chance._

"_Lil, darling…let Logan see Anna…let them be happy…let _us_ be happy…" Henry had paused as he looked into Lillian's angry glare._

_In truth, Lillian might have considered backing out of the engagement except for the fact that she was bound by her standing in the community and would never let herself be caught up in this kind of scandal._

_In addition, the thought of giving up a promising future with a member of one of the town's leading families just so some little _import_ could take it all away was more than Lillian could bear._

_Disgusted with the whole charade, Henry announced quietly, "I'm going to see Logan."_

_His steps were halted by Lillian's impassioned, "Please-"_

_Henry was torn. He loved Lillian, but Logan was his best friend._

_His loyalty to his friend was in direct conflict to his need to be true to his heart._

"_If you love me…if you _really_ love me, Henry…then…make me happy…"_

_For a moment, Henry's heart mistakenly thought he would find his happy ending._

_In turning to her, however, the ugly truth lay between them like a festering lake of deceit._

_His emotions took over and he stalked over to the window at the scene below._

_Violins were playing softly, lace and taffeta surrounded guests at every turn – and Logan was standing talking with the judge. He seemed …happy._

_Gulping back a tear, Henry moved to the door._

"_Henry…please…" _

_He stopped and without another word, let the tattered telegram slip from between his fingers, falling to the ground moving, like Henry, without a sound._

_Alone again, Lillian bent down to retrieve the telegram as another knock came on her closed door._

_Logan's smiling sister entered, only to stop dead in her tracks at the sight of this final telegram._

_Lillian handed it over to her, took a deep breath, and plastered a triumphant smile on her face as she said a bit too happily, "Dispose of this trash, will you, dear?"_

_The bride was beautiful, the groom was attentive, the best man was…focused anywhere but on the happy couple._

_  
The reception was wonderful, and soon it was time for the happy couple to prepare for their departure._

_Lillian leaned in for a kiss from her new husband, and as her hand slid from his, Lillian couldn't help but admire the wedding ring that matched her engagement ring so beautifully._

_Practically floating through the house, Lillian had reached the bottom of the stairs heading alone to her room to change for their trip when she was somewhat startled by a loud banging on the front door._

_Without thought, Lillian opened it – to come face to face with a determined Anna._

_The two women stood staring for a long moment, with Lillian unsure of Logan's reaction should he uncover her subterfuge._

_Bringing her hand to her mouth was an action that caused Lillian's rings to sparkle in the light from the large chandelier hanging overhead._

_The brilliance caught Anna's eye and caused her to gasp._

_A single tear traced a lonely path down Anna's cheek._

"_When?" she whispered, the most sound that could escape the tightness in her chest._

"_This afternoon, actually," Lillian regrouped, standing taller and realizing she had nothing to fear from this wisp of a woman._

"_And…he got all my telegrams?" she asked weakly._

_Lillian smiled and said, "I can tell you honestly, they were all delivered," _although not to Logan_ she added mentally._

"_I…" Anna began, but had to brace herself against the doorjam to stop her overwhelming emotions from causing a scene, "I…hope you will be very happy together."_

"_Oh, that is something _you_ can count on," she said, almost wickedly, knowing the pain her statement was causing._

"_Tell him-" was the last thing Anna said before her shuddering sobs overtook her body. Without another word, she turned and stumbled hastily away from the new bride._

_Pleased with herself, Lillian turned to face eyes so angry she stepped back, afraid._

_Henry's fists were clenched as he spoke quietly through his teeth, "How…could…you…do…such… a…" he was at a loss for words._

"_Lil, she _loves_ him. He loves _her_. They should be together. You have no right-"_

"_NO RIGHT!" Lillian's shout was muffled by the merriment outside. _

_She raised her ring finger even with his gaze, "I…have…EVERY…right…"_

_Henry stood looking at this woman whom he hardly recognized._

"_And to think…I loved you for so long…but…I never REALLY knew you…" Henry said quietly, moving towards the door._

_His hand poised on the doorknob, he turned a final time and sneered disgustedly, "…until now…"_

_With that, Henry left the party and never spoke with either Lillian or Logan again._

Lillian was oblivious to the driver alerting them that with traffic they would reach their destination in five more minutes.

_Never spoke with them again, except for that one last time at the airport…_

_Lillian had realized Logan was not in their marriage bed that morning._

_Panicked that somehow Henry had brought Anna and Logan together, she dressed quickly and tried to retrace Logan's steps._

_Her heart stopped as she turned the corner leading to the little café – and saw Logan, Anna, and Henry standing there._

_He moved towards Anna, his hands joining Henry's in what he wanted to be a reassuring motion on the opposite side of Anna's back._

_The simple movement was so – intimate – and Logan's gaze was so loving that Lillian felt her heart sink._

In all the time I've known him, even yesterday as he recited his vows, I _never_ saw him look at me with such …love… _she despaired._

_Lillian could see Anna whispering to Henry, whose frustrated eyes belied his anger even at her distance from the scene._

_Suddenly, Henry just stalked away, entering the men's room but not until he had pounded the door open with his fists._

_Knowing Logan was wrapped up in talking with Anna, Lillian was furious as she headed towards Henry's location._

_She had been so angry, she barged right into the men's room, startling Henry who had been washing away the tears from his eyes._

"_You _just_ couldn't leave it alone! You just _had _to make me the most miserable person in the world, didn't you?  
NOW what am I supposed to do? I'll be the laughing stock of the town! _

_Well, if he thinks he can just run away with his "duchess", he can think again – the little conniving bitch-"_

_Her tirade ended as Henry's open palm slapped Lillian squarely across the face._

"_SHUT UP!" he growled. "If anyone's been the bitch here, it's been you, Lil."_

_He moved away from her, raking his hands through his hair._

"_My god, I spent half the night tracking her down and the rest of the time sitting here, trying to convince her to let me help her find Logan, waiting with her after she refused time and time again, insisting that she was going to leave quietly, so he would never know..._

ANNA_ is the one with no future here, Lil. And believe me, that is HER doing – NOT mine," he said through clenched teeth._

"_She _loves_ Logan so much, she refused to believe anything that I told her – about the phone calls, the telegrams, and would you believe she sent letters-" he paused, taking in her calm._

"_Oh…of course, you would…" shaking his head and turning his back on her to compose himself._

"_She loves him so much…" Henry was having difficulty dealing with Anna's strong resolve to do what was "right"._

_Lillian was feeling calmer about the perceived threat to her marriage, but was now just coming to realize this fragile friendship with Henry was decimated beyond repair._

_She reached out to touch his arm, but he recoiled as if she had stabbed him._

"_Henry, please," she said in her softest tone, the one that usually worked her magic around him._

_But her wickedness had brought him squarely out from under her spell._

"_Save it for someone who cares, Lil," he said as he stormed out of the room – and out of her life forever._

_Composing herself, Lillian now realized she was standing there alone._

_Alone…LOGAN!_

_She raced out of the room and back to the corridor leading to the café._

_At first, her heart sank as she saw no people standing._

He left me…for her…_Lillian thought, the pain almost bringing her to her knees._

_Despite the fame, fortune, and future attached to her marriage, Lillian actually did _love_ Logan._

_She once thought aloud that she loved him enough for _both_ of them._

_For the first time in a long while, Lillian prayed for guidance._

_She remembered standing there, wishing she could have a chance to show Logan a wonderful married life._

_She promised to be a good wife and mother to him._

_If only she could have a chance…_

_It was at that moment that she spied him bent over as he sat in a polished chrome seat._

_Tears of joy springing from her eyes, she quickly dried them and decided never to let Logan know that she was aware of what had transpired in this airport with Anna._

_She recalled the tingling in her fingers as she rubbed them over his back, clutching him to herself._

_Then, as if in a dream, he turned and embraced her before slinging his arm over her shoulders and leading them to the beginning of their wonderful life together._

Logan looked concerned as he realized Lillian did not even notice the car had stopped and they were directly in front of their next stop.

He reached over, taking her hand in his.

"Lil?"

She startled, and Logan leaned in to wipe a tear that escaped from her now blinking eyes.

He smiled and said, "Thinking about the wedding day causing a little anxiety, Lil?" realizing she had been working almost too hard to make Sara and Nick's wedding day perfect.

"You have no idea, dear," she responded softly.

Then, in a complete uncharacteristic gesture considering their surroundings, "I love you, Logan Stokes."

Chuckling, Logan's response was lighthearted.

"Okay, Lil, that usually means you want something. What is it this time?"

Still in her reflective state, Lil leaned forward and brushed his lips with a kiss.

"Only you, Logan…only _ever_ you."


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: Please trust me when I say I am posting this on the fly…consider it part 1 of at least 2 sections of the countdown Day 3…but this was an important event and deserved its own chapter…not beta'd, so please overlook any errors, I'll fix them when I reread this weekend…hoping to post again really soon…wish I had a secretary (not to type THIS, but to finish the other mound of paperwork I have to deal with so I COULD type this… : )…this is intense, I had to take a walk when I first finished it…thanks for the support in reading and reviewing…you are amazingly terrific, thanks…more soon…-Kathy

--

"**You are cordially invited to Nick and Sara's Wedding in **_**three **_**days"**

--

The next morning, Logan had arisen early and had showered and dressed without disturbing Lillian.

He had made it down to the kitchen before the breakfast buffet was even complete.

"Sorry, sir, I didn't expect you to be up so soon…may I make an omelet or-" Cook began talking quickly as Logan entered his work area.

"Don't worry…I…have an appointment early so just coffee will do for now," Logan assured his master chef.

Truth be told, the hairs were standing up on the back of his neck in worry.

Logan almost gulped down his cup of eye opener before deciding it wasn't really that early to head to the stables and wait for Billy.

Wishing the staff a good morning, Logan headed out through the opened kitchen door.

No sooner had the screen door finished vibrating upon Logan's release than there were footsteps on the stairway leading to the servant's corridor.

A freshly showered Grissom emerged from the shadows, wishing everyone a good morning.

"Can't sleep, Gil?" Jeremy questioned as he began pouring his new friend a cup of brew.

"Thanks," Gil replied, taking a swig before answering.

"The team is arriving this afternoon, and I have a lot to talk about to one member," he summarized, thinking about updating Brass about the current situation involving Sara.

"Breakfast won't be up for a while, but I can make you something, Gil, " Cook offered.

"No, thanks…I'll just wait for Sara…"

"and the others," he added quickly.

The staff turned away from him at that moment, their smiles evident in their thoughts about the fairytale romance. Each of the trio was pulling for Gil to pull a miracle out of his hat.

"Where was Logan off too so early this morning?" Gil inquired.

"To the stables, I imagine. He only mentioned he had a meeting this morning, and then left in somewhat of a hurry."

Gil thought about the stables and wondered if he should follow Logan and take a trail ride before breakfast.

And he might have just done that if it weren't for the footsteps once again echoing down the back staircase.

Out of the shadows stepped a tired-looking Sara, dressed in comfy jeans and a simple silk fitted tee shirt.

Gil rose and approached her. "Mornin', beautiful," he said softly for her ears.

A smile immediately took over her face, while she glanced over her shoulder to be sure Nick wasn't eavesdropping.

They exchanged a look, and then Sara noticed Emma Anne just smiling at them which made her move quickly away from Gil to make herself some tea.

Gil couldn't explain why her movements saddened him.

_Would we never again be comfortable enough in a group of people to even _stand_ close to one another? Not even as friends?_

He turned away from the others, pretending to look out towards the stables.

_Who am I kidding? We can never go back now…and we can't go forward…_

He sighed softly, his pain audible.

_This is so hard…I never dreamed how hard it would be for me to accept the situation…_

As he swung his gaze towards her again, he noted the house lights playing off the dark circles in her eyes, the slightest tremor in her hand as it placed the decorative china cup against her lips.

_how hard it would be for her…_

These thoughts would have consumed him totally if it weren't for the movement outside of the stables that was now catching his attention.

Logan was storming out of the horse barn, _was he angry?_

Billy was running to stop his forward movement, _was he actually physically knocking his boss up against the weathered slats of the stable's entryway?_

Sara caught the furrow of Gil's forehead as he lowered his cup, obviously debating something.

_Something's very wrong here. Should I see if they can settle this among themselves, or go now and find out if I can mediate this problem?_

Gil's indecisiveness was forgotten as, in a blink of an eye, Sara had followed his gaze and was now slamming into the screen door which hadn't closed properly before she found herself halfway down the path to the stables.

"Logan! You're not thinking, man! Just calm down and think a spell…_think _before you act, _think_ before you speak, dammit…it's_ important_-" Billy was sputtering as he just managed to keep an irate Logan from storming the house in search of his despicable son.

Logan had cut him off angrily, barking, "Let go of me, Bill! I'm going to kill him! He has no right, _he has no right_!"

Incensed by Nick's obviously blackmailing Sara into marrying him, Logan's emotions were out of control for another reason.

He was thinking about Anna.

He had often wondered about their final conversation.

_Some things she said, some things she knew, Henry's anger, his promise to her…there were questions she would never answer…_

_Someone or something kept me apart from my Anna…and now, the same thing was happening to my Sara…_

"NO!" Logan bellowed as his muscular form, aided by the surging adrenalin, easily removed Billy as an obstacle to his flight.

His friend matched him almost identically in stature and height, yet could not restrain him as effectively as the soft concern of an almost whispered, "Dad?"

The first sight of Sara's worried countenance brought the brakes on to Logan's frantic behavior.

Billy dusted himself off as he attempted to straighten himself up from almost being knocked flat by an angry Logan.

Sara moved towards Billy without removing her gaze from Logan, speaking only to ask gently, "Billy, are you alright?"

The horse trainer slapped his open hands on his jeans to free the dust away from his knees and calves.

Glaring at Logan, Billy's eyes softened as he reached to touch Sara's cheek paternally, speaking gently, "I'm fine, darlin'…don't you worry none about me…"

Billy took a step towards Logan, eyes blazing. "It's _important,_ Logan…"

And without a backwards glance, Billy walked hurriedly through the entrance to the stables, slapping his Stetson a bit too harshly against the back of his legs.

Sara stood shellshocked…the scene that greeted her had made no sense. She needed answers.

Although she would not normally have initiated a movement into the stable, recalling that her last conversation with Nick took place there, Sara needed a private place for Logan to regain his control without prying eyes.

That is one reason her eyes closed worriedly before she could speak a word, as she heard hurried steps now coming down the trail.

"Sara!" Gil breathed a bit heavily, having followed her in worry that she would be hurt if these two strapping men were going to come to blows over who-knows-what.

Logan looked from Sara to Gil and back again.

_I need to speak to them about what I know. But who do I speak to first?_

_I don't want to upset Sara, yet I have to talk to her and tell her what it is like to live everyday in a _good_ life, just not the life you were _meant_ to live, with the only person you were _meant to love_?_

_I don't want to tell Gil, who knows what kind of scene he will make when he finds out that Nick is blackmailing Sara and that she is agreeing to this wedding to protect _him_?_

Observing Gil watching Sara, who herself was focused totally on Logan for the moment, Logan sighed and decided to keep Gil out of this…for now.

"Gil," Logan began, feeling more like a convicted felon headed for the gallows, wishing to be doing anything else in the world other than what he was about to do, " I ….need to speak to Sara…alone…"

Gil was shaking his head, moving to grasp Sara's elbow as she suddenly moved away from him and encircled Logan's arm with hers.

"Gil…I'm fine…please…I want to talk to Logan alone…" she said while staring into Logan's eyes, as if trying to discern what placed the sadness there before she found out the whole story.

When no answer was forthcoming, she returned Gil's worried look with a soft smile.

"Gil…I'll be _fine_…really…"

A look passed between the two men.

For the first time, Logan knew what it was like to be pinned by Gil's enigmatic gaze.

Without removing his eyes from Logan, Gil spoke commandingly, "Sara…just call if you need me…"

Logan placed his hand in a comforting gesture on top of Sara's which was still gripping his lower arm.

Another moment passed between the men before Gil turned and went back up the path to the house.

They were alone.

Sara pulled lightly on Logan's arm, moving them both towards hay bales that welcomed them to set a spell inside barn doors.

Stopping to seat herself, Sara was surprised when Logan placed his open palm on her back and led her to Buttercup's stable.

Moving to saddle up her horse, Logan said nothing and Sara knew whatever this news was could not compare with the anxiety building inside her.

_Had someone died? Did something happen with Lillian? _

Having experience dealing with Grissom, Sara had learned the value of patience, of giving him enough space where Gil can talk out the problem and find a solution.

She sighed as she again realized that not every problem _can _be fixed.

_I'm getting married in three days, am I not?_ Sara thought sadly.

Their horses cantered a bit until developing a full out run towards the cabin.

Soon they found themselves settling in for a chat, Sara wondered how to broach the unspoken topic without upsetting Logan further. She could see he was barely containing his emotions, thinking not for the first time this morning that she was uncomfortably afraid of innocently incurring his wrath – in that, it would be a paraphrase of "like son-like father".

So it would be most apt to describe her as incredulous when, at the same time those thoughts came to her, Logan bellowed, "_You can't marry Nick_!"

Sara shivered and stood to put some distance between her and the man who until now had never shown the slightest tendency to become violent.

His impassioned outburst made her rethink the possibility Nick's latent hurtful tendencies may be genetic.

Wincing as he approached her, Sara drew her hands up in front of her defensively, causing Logan to stop dead in his tracks.

_My god…she's afraid…she's afraid of me…_

The thought that he had added to Sara's stress chilled him to the bone, tamping out the fire of rage as quickly as Billy's story had incited it.

Logan slumped down onto the coach, burying his face in his hands.

Sara stood unmoving, waiting to see if indeed this was just a calm before the storm.

After a moment, though, she noticed something that caused her to lunge forward towards his seated form.

Logan's shoulders were moving in time with his yet unreleased sobs.

Sara knelt before him, placing both hands on his, releasing them to stroke his hair as she soothed him with her concern.

"Dad?...Dad?...it's alright…whatever it is…it's going to be alright…please…tell me what has you so upset….Dad?...please…hey, it's alright…it's going to be alright…"

"NO!" Logan startled her a bit, but she never stopped stroking his hair and his shoulder, seeing that whatever was troubling him was tearing him apart.

"NO, Sara!...It's _not_ going to be alright….you don't love him…you love Gil…"

Logan grabbed Sara's hands and pulled enough to bring her face directly in front of him as if he were talking to a young child who was being bullied in school.

"Why are you letting him threaten you?...

Why are you letting Nick treat you this way?...

_Why _are you …"

Logan had to stop for a minute, the tears starting to fall down his flushed cheeks, scaring her for how intense his feelings were.

He was no calmer as he continued.

"For the love of god, Sara…look at what happened to you in your past!

You of _all_ people should know what it's like to live in a house built on mistrust and abuse!"

She felt as if she had been slapped in the face.

As if to protect herself, Sara took a step backwards as she wrapped her arms around herself tightly.

"In my _past_? In my _PAST_? Just what the _hell _do _you_ know about "_my past_"?" she spit hotly, her glare so intense Logan found himself at a temporary loss for words.

Sara used his silence as a springboard.

"My _past_ has nothing to do with you, is _no _concern of yours," she began but felt the tears welling up.

She was angry at herself for being so weak now.

She had always been strong enough to suppress her feelings, keep the pain clothed in indifference.

Sara had spent her whole adult life keeping others in the dark about her past.

She had only ever opened up to Grissom, and even then she had only told him a few details about that night, and he…

_Grissom!_

Her thoughts were blurring now as she felt the punch of betrayal land a knock out blow.

_Grissom!_

She was grasping at disjointed thoughts and had now rearranged them into a grotesque conclusion.

Grissom had promised her.

He promised to tell no one.

But Logan knew.

She had not even told Nick about her past.

But Logan knew.

Gil _alone _knew the truth, and he had promised her.

But Logan knew.

_Gil had broken that promise._

He is the only one who could have told Logan about her past.

He had _promised_ to keep her secret.

He had lied to her.

Grissom had lied to her.

Grissom is the only one who could have told Logan.

Grissom lied to her about keeping her secret.

_What else had Grissom lied about?_

A bizarre reality formed in Sara's troubled mind.

Grissom had lied…about…_everything_.

He was just like all the others.

Sara closed her eyes against the loneliness that consumed her at the thought.

…_like all the others…_

"Darlin'," Logan began as he moved to take her hands and steer her towards the couch.

Sara jerked her hands away from him, and Logan found his heart breaking at the wall she had quickly erected between them.

"How long have you known?" she asked coolly, not waiting for an answer.

"Darlin'-" he was cut off handily with Sara's angry "DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

Sara was now moving towards him with such an anger eminating from her slender form that Logan fell backwards into the soft cushions behind him.

She laughed brokenheartedly, shaking her head before continuing, "How could I have been so _stupid_?"

Logan looked at her questioningly, as Sara just continuing her raving.

A half-chuckle underplayed her words, "All this time…feeling like it was _me_, that you were seeing _me_, that although it seemed i_mpossible..._for the first time in my life, someone treated me like a dad, like you were caring for _me_…"

"_Darlin'_," Logan reached out, but Sara was almost hysterical by this time.

"DON'T! It's _over...it's all over_…you're just like the rest of them…just like everybody else..."

He showed his confusion, but remained silent.

"Never seeing me…it was always "the girl whose father was stabbed to death", or the "foster kid"…but never me!…_NEVER ME_!"

Logan understood that Sara's past was now affecting her outlook on his behavior.

She was reacting defensively, her anger growing out of the stress of what she viewed as a betrayal of trust.

When people are overwhelmed by anger, they experience what psychologists call "flooding," a physiological response that leaves their hearts pounding, causing them to lash out unreasonably, making it impossible to see a situation clearly.

Logan's lengthy experience as a judge had made him empathetic to others in this regard.

While the accusations stung, Logan kept quiet as he let Sara work out her pent up emotions.

He had raised children for enough years to know that if they felt secure in your commitment to loving them, they could relax and take the risk of showing their deepest wounds.

They could lash out because they didn't fear your withdrawal.

In the past, his children would calm down and return to talk about their fears calmly.

But Sara was _not _one of his biological children, though in some ways her resemblance to Anna made Logan feel more protective of her than the children he fathered.

He prayed that the rules covering relating to your children would apply to dealing with Sara, who had formed _no_ nurturing parental relationships in her unhappy life.

No matter what she would feel for him from this day forward, Logan could only continue to love the little lonely girl he saw imbedded in this amazing powerhouse of a woman.

So, Logan bit his tongue, kept his mouth closed, and waited for her tirade to continue.

But Sara's only concern now was getting away from all this pain.

Reacting when he realized her intentions, Sara was moving towards the door when she was surprised to find Logan's hand abruptly slamming it before it fully opened.

"No, Sara! You have to listen! What Nick is doing-"Logan stopped as he realized Sara was not listening to him.

_Nick. In all of this, he has been the only one to really lay his cards on the table. He wants me. I know his rules. With Nick, what you see is what you get. I've had it with waiting for my knight to rescue me. _

_I__'ll marry Nick. _

_I'll let him ravish me day in and day out if he wants. _

_What am I saving myself for? True love? _

_Well, I loved Grissom - with my heart and soul...and see where that has gotten me! _

_I'll marry Nick. _

_I just really don't care anymore. _

_He'll love me in his own way. _

_And that...that's all I will ever really deserve..._

"Sara!" Logan was shouting at her to get her to look at him.

"Save it!" Sara spoke rudely, prying at his hand to release the door.

"No, Sara! You have to listen! Gil-"

She flew at him in a rage, slamming her fists wildly at his chest.

"Don't!..Don't mention that bastard to me ever again!" she sobbed, but fought him handily as he tried to envelope her in a hug.

"Sara, you don't mean that," Logan said calmly, now extremely sorry he had not heeded Billy's advice.

This had gone badly, very badly…and he had no one but himself to blame.

"I. Am. Going. To. Marry. Nick." she sputtered angrily.

"Just _either_ of you try to stop me!" she warned before slamming Logan's heartbroken form out of her way and exiting the cabin heatedly.

Logan just sank to his knees, his head in his hands, moaning softly, "What have I done?"

In her fury, Sara mounted Buttercup and debated for a second as to which direction she should head before turning her back on the ranchhouse and heading towards the stretch of trail leading to the mountain lake, cursing her fate and swearing at the top of her lungs, "OOOOh!…._G-I-L_!..."


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: First off, a thanks to the many reviewers for that last chapter…especially KATERI BEAR who spotted my goof saying Sara's dad was shot instead of stabbed (that mistake is taken care of now)…Another chapter was needed today…I couldn't let that standoff remain where it was…I thought about this story all night…If you stay with it a bit longer, I promise some relief IS on its way…posting again on the fly…thanks for bearing with the mistakes, I promise to proofread this weekend…reviewers and readers, thanks for your terrific support…Hope this pleases (although I already know what you're going to say…) -Kathy

--

"**You are cordially invited to Nick and Sara's Wedding in **_**three **_**days"**

--

Tired of standing at the kitchen's bay window, and needing to do something to relieve the anxiety of waiting for their return, Gil left the now empty kitchen and strolled down the path to the stables.

Reaching the entryway, Billy was just coming out of one of the stables, leading a mare to the corral.

Hope surged in his chest as he pulled a bit tighter on the horse's bit, keeping the animal's focus on clomping straight but missing the figure moving towards them.

Upon seeing it was Gil, however, his shoulders slumped a bit involuntarily while Billy immediately brought his attention to steering the horse rather than looking directly at Gil.

The action was not unnoticed, and Gil's brow furrowed a bit before relaxing.

Gil went unconsciously into work mode.

He needed answers, and did not stop his stride before he stood directly in front of Billy, blocking his retreat.

"Hey," Gil said smoothly, his heart racing.

His "Sara radar" was fully operational, and the hairs on the back of his neck were standing at attention.

"Gil," Billy said courteously, while attempting to steer the horse out of the stable.

Blocking his path, Gil swiftly raised his hand and pulled on the opposite side of the bit to force a stop to Billy's forward motion.

"So…" Gil began, hoping that the interruption would force Billy to react.

"Hey, it's a nice day, gotta get this one through the hoops before the sun gets too hot for her," Billy spoke without eye contact while hoping Gil would just get the hint.

But Gil was stubborn like that, especially where Sara was concerned.

"Billy," Gil began but his next words died on his lips as both men turned distractedly by the sound of a horse entering the rear of the stables.

Relief washed over Gil at the site of Logan's shadowed figure moving into the stable area, expecting Sara's horse to trot in right behind him.

Gil's experiences in the field should have taught him to expect the unexpected.

Watching him dismount, Gil realized for the first time that Sara was not behind him.

Shooting a glance at Billy, Gil's feet began to move towards Logan, their pace increasing with each meeting of sole and soil.

The shadows were retreating as the light from outside the shaded stable began to illuminate this strapping figure of a man as Gil's feet propelled him closer.

His heart began thumping wildly as he first eyed Logan's defeated form.

_Total grief. I've seen it a hundred times on the job. The suspect unable to handle the grief over the loss of a loved one._

_SARA!_

Logan's head reared back as instinctively Gil grabbed both edges of the collar of the shirt he was wearing, the warmth of the material that had been scalded by the sun's heat in sharp contrast to the cold, clammy texture of the skin that had nestled against it.

_That look in his eyes, unseeing. His skin temp, his pallor…signs of shock…my god, WHERE'S SARA??_

"WHERE. IS. SHE?" Gil exclaimed worriedly, his voice booming as he shook the collar violently, watching the unresponsive man's head bob precariously back and forth.

"WHAT did you DO? WHAT DID YO U DO TO SARA??" Gil was roaring now, his fingers painfully fighting with a third set of hands detaching his fingers from Logan's collar.

"Gil! STOP!" Billy yelled, succeeding in separating the two and placing himself as a barrier between them.

Pushing against Gil's chest a second time, Billy kept his open palmed hand on his chest for good measure while turning towards Logan.

His first real gaze at the man led him to gasp and release his hold on Gil.

"Logan…what happened to Sara?" Billy questioned quietly as he had now turned to stand centimeters before his unseeing friend.

"Logan, please tell me…does she know?" Billy continued, spiking Gil's ire.

"Know WHAT? What the _HELL_ is going on here? _Where IS Sara_?" Gil spoke emotionally, not knowing whether to move to kick Logan's ass or to fall to his knees begging him to answer.

Hearing the pain in Gil's voice, Logan snapped out of his thoughts, almost disbelieving that he had actually made it back to the stables.

Looking around as if awaking from a dream, Logan remembered harshly that the nightmare he had experienced less than thirty minutes ago had unfortunately been a pain filled reality.

Logan looked directly into Billy's eyes as he spoke softly, "I should have listened, Bill…should have listened to you."

The pain imbedded in that admission had Billy wincing. "My lord, Logan…"

After a pause fraught with the horror of awakening understanding, Billy almost whispered, "Sara…"

Now Gil's anger was raging.

Pushing Billy aside, he was directly into Logan's face demanding, "What the hell is going on here, Logan?

_WHERE. IS. MY. SARA_?"

"_Your_ Sara, Grissom?" came a voice from the other end of the stable.

Three men turned simultaneously to send death glares towards Nick as he strode cockily towards them.

Logan made the first move, only to find Billy's open palm now restraining _his_ chest.

Nick's smirk was ripe for being wiped right off his worry free face. After all, Sofia had just recently finished giving him something to smile about.

But as he approached the trio, there were no smiles greeting him from this end of the horse barn.

Billy could feel Logan's heart thumping wildly in his chest, and not for the first time this morning he worried about Logan's initial reaction to being face-to-face with his son after he had found out the truth.

Gil was sending daggers to this contemptible bastard who enjoyed treating him with such undisguised innuendo.

Though their thoughts may have begun on different avenues, these men were now facing Nick as with a single thought: _Nick Stokes is a lying, cheating bastard and I am going to do everything in my power to keep him from hurting Sara_ anymore!

But before they could speak, the object of their worry was riding into the stables entering the door that Nick just arrived through.

All eyes were on Sara, three in worry and one is possessive obsession.

The three men startled as Nick stood with his hands on his hips as he barked, "And where the hell were _you_ all this time?"

Poised to beat the crap out of Nick for speaking to Sara in such a tone, Gil was speechless as Sara dismounted and ran to Nick's figure, hugging him tightly to herself.

"Sorry, Nick…I…just needed time to myself…I'm sorry…so sorry…" Sara muttered against his neck.

To say that her behavior surprised Nick was an understatement, but it had been a pleasant surprise.

Almost forgetting that they had an audience, Nick ran his hands up and down Sara's back and reflexively closed his eyes as the memories of their happy times together flooded over him.

"_Sara,"_ he whispered in her hair then pulled away slightly to plant a kiss on her forehead.

"I was just worried about you darlin'. I was looking everywhere for you," he lied, but his profession of concern did stir the first feelings of guilt about his relationship with Sofia.

"Sorry, Nick. It won't happen again," Sara faked a smile, fooling him with her sincerity.

"Hey, it's almost time to get to the airport. You up for a trip to pick up the gang?" Nick smiled broadly using the smile that had broken hundreds of hearts in his lifetime.

"Definitely," Sara breathed honestly, keeping her arms wrapped around Nick as he leaned in for a kiss which he was again surprised that Sara returned heartily.

His smile broke their liplock, and Sara leaned tiredly against him as Nick turned her towards the exit.

Turning his head towards Buttercup, Nick glanced over his shoulder triumphantly at the shocked trio as he spoke haughtily, "Ah, Billy, would you take care of _my_ Sara's horse for her? Thanks, buddy!"

_What the hell just happened here?_

Logan stood immobile, pained at the interaction he had just witnessed.

Billy was turning angrily towards Logan before stomping off to attend to a tired Buttercup.

Gil finally closed his mouth as he hung his head for a moment, trying to make sense of what he had just seen.

_She never even acknowledged me…us…_

_My god…she's really going to do this!_

Looking up to see Logan's face still glancing at the spot where Sara had just been standing, Gil frowned suddenly and in heartbeat, he was clutching at Logan's collar angrily.

"Now, Logan! Right _now_! What the hell happened out there?"

Broken, Logan finally brought Gil's face into focus.

Sighing, he turned towards the hay bales near the entrance and strode over to seat himself wearily.

Gil already on his heels, he moved to sit facing Logan, who was just staring out towards the rolling hills of the lower forty.

"How do I begin?" his voice was low as he spoke followed by a cleansing breath.

"Gil…there are things you need to know," Logan said, dragging his gaze to meet Gil's worried eyes.

"Tell me," Gil spoke in soft tone, bracing himself against this latest onslaught to his already broken heart.

--

The heated sprays from the overhead shower did nothing to warm Sara, who was shivering almost uncontrollably in the privacy of her shower.

_I can do this. _

_I can do this._

She finished rinsing and stepped out of the shower, pausing to retrieve the towel she had clumsily knocked off its hook as her movements became a bit more erratic.

She dried herself off and wiped the mirror mechanically, stopping with her hand poised as she caught sight of her face in the mirror.

Her eyes widened as she imagined herself with a veil…upswept hair in ringlets surrounding her perfectly groomed makeup…eyes so sad…so sad…

Sara flung the towel at the mirror and stomped towards her dresser, flinging clothes haphazardly in a fit of temper.

_I can do this. _

_I can do this._

Dressing quickly, Sara faced the cheval mirror and posed as if she were standing in front of Nick.

Her fingers moved to unbutton another two buttons, letting a bit more cleavage visible than she usually did.

Her clear-polished fingernails slid under the placket, pulling the V-shaped opening apart even further.

Her fingers slid down the opening, and her eyes closed for a moment at the memory of touches not her own that had sparked a passionate encounter in this very room.

Faced with an onslaught of memories of happy times spent here with Gil that were haunting her at every turn, Sara almost screamed in frustration.

Whipping around, she caught site of the vase of daisies…"_…he loves me not…he loves me…"_

In a heartbeat, Sara had scooped up the vase and was already yanking on the handle of the French doors.

Without looking, she hauled back and pitched the vase full of the reminders of what she now considered Gil's mocking attempts at deceit.

Hearing it land with a sickening thud, Sara suddenly was horrified to think that she had actually tossed away the last remnants of happiness, tossed away her feelings for Gil.

She stood motionless for another second, then panicked and flew to the banister…brown eyes meeting concerned blue ones.

"Sara?" Gil asked as he was straightening from retrieving one lonely daisy from its resting place amid the rubble.

Anger returning as she thought about the revelations of that morning, Sara backed away as she shouted, "Leave me alone, Grissom!"

Tears were falling, the pain unbearable, escape under any pretense necessary for survival.

Her retreat was halted, however, by the broken sound of his pleading, "Sara…please-" then a deafening silence.

Gil wasn't even sure she was there, but he forced himself to continue.

"It isn't true…what you think…you don't understand….sweetheart, you don't understand…"

After a pause, the only sound was of the French doors closing behind her.

--

The gang was rowdy and intensely happy to be reunited at the gates to the arrival lounge.

Squeals from Catherine for Sara and Nick, hugs from a beaming Greg, were followed by Warrick picking up Sara gently and swinging her in his arms.

Then…Sara found herself staring into the questioning eyes of Jim Brass.

She tried to brighten her smile, only it didn't quite make it to her eyes.

"Hi, Jim," Sara said softly as she leaned in for a hug.

Brass, however, surprised her by not letting go, offering, "Ride with me, ok?"

Sara, in turn, surprised him as she forced a smile to say, "Not right now…I'm…going with Nick."

Before he could speak, Sara rushed over to latch herself to Nick's waist, causing Catherine to comment about them being "joined at the hip, now?"

They moved towards the ranch's "comfy van" as Lillian like to call it, a large vehicle with all the comforts of home.

Nick reached across the console to grab Sara's hand as she swiveled in her upholstered passenger's captain's chair.

The group laughed and traded questions and answers…most of them joining in happily.

Except for Brass.

Speaking only when spoken to, he feigned interest in the sound system imbedded in the console, actually locking his gaze on Sara – who was refusing to meet his eyes.

Himself an accomplished investigator, Jim was taking in her overall appearance, noting the small tremors she was adept at disguising under the sweater she was holding, the small shivers despite the raging heat of the early summer day.

He noted the bags under her eyes, the loss of sparkle that was always present in those large chocolate brown eyes when she was truly happy about something.

Oh, Brass had noticed the lack of real happiness in this woman he loved like a daughter.

He knew the signs, because he had seen them so frequently…

_Gil, what the hell have you done now?_

--

Meanwhile, Logan had sequestered himself to his study, telling Lillian he had important legal matters to attend to, and could not be disturbed no matter what "emergency" she felt required his attention today.

Although she wanted to protest, Lillian regarded him for a moment before placing a kiss on his cheek and moving to inform the staff that Judge Stokes was not to be disturbed under any circumstances today.

Logan was finally alone, and became irritated at the knock on the door.

Expecting to take off the head of the interloper, he swung open the door angrily to find himself face to face with Emma Anne, carrying a covered tray.

His expression softened immediately at her worried eyes.

Evenly, she offered the tray, simply stating, "I…I remembered you hadn't eaten. It's just some sandwiches and coffee. I thought if you were going to be undisturbed all day-"

The maid was shocked as Logan not only took the tray but leaned in to place a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Thank you, Emmie….I don't know what I'd do without you," he spoke softly, his sincerity bringing a smile to her face.

"Call me...if you need anything," she offered and he realized she was not just talking about a coffee refill.

"There is one thing," Logan began, leaning again towards her ear.

"Keep your eye out…" he whispered, Emma Anne nodding as she understood he was worried about Sara for some reason.

"Always," she responded with a shy smile, complete understanding between them.

With that she left, Logan set down the tray and moved back to lock the door.

Pouring himself a quick cup of coffee, choosing to ignore the banquet of pastries and finger sandwiches that were arranged enticingly on the tray, Logan booted up his computer and stood to search his library for a particular volume…

--

Meanwhile, Gil and Sofia had formed a welcoming committee for the gang's arrival.

The silent foyer had turned into a welcoming area for hugs, handshakes, and humor.

Sara stayed close to Nick, moving with him as he steered them through the crowd, totally ignoring Gil's expressionless eyes focused solely on Sara – a behavior not lost on Jim Brass.

The gang having left the entryway to get settled in their rooms, with Sara leading the way – partly to make sure Catherine was comfortable, and partly to ensure she would not find herself left alone with Gil under any circumstances.

Taking her leave of the redhead, they agreed to meet downstairs at 5 o'clock for cocktails on the deck, leaving the travelers a few hours to rest and relax.

Sara moved tiredly through her doorway, locking it behind her so that she would not be disturbed.

She needed time to rest.

She needed time to relax.

She needed to not think about the state of her life.

She needed to not think about Gil, and how her body was betraying her by aching for the touch of his hand whenever she looked at him.

She needed to not think about how he betrayed her.

She needed to not think…

Sara opened the French doors to the sounds of the early summer afternoon.

Setting her cell phone for one hour, Sara settled herself on top of her silken bedcovers, pulling off her clothes and covering herself with her full length terry cloth robe in an attempt to ward off the shivers that had begun again.

She closed her eyes to the sounds of the horses training in the distance, to the sounds of the birds bringing sustenance to the young mouths in their nests outside in the balcony's thicket, to the hint of a sound made by a door closing…

That last sound registered just as there was a dip in the mattress beside her.

She felt a large hand over her mouth as her heart began pounding furiously in her ear almost drowning out the sound of a voice in her ear whispering in a heated breath, "Sara…"

Squeezing her eyes shut in terror as she recalled this exact scene played out a million times in the theater of her most horrific nightmares, her thoughts focused on the one man she instinctively turned to in her time of need.

Before the intruder could continue, Sara's mind was screaming for help, calling out silently the words her lips would not release, "OH!..._GIL_!!"


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: Finally we are at the end of wedding countdown day three...I must confess that your reviews about the angst being oppressive have been read, but remember that these two tell their story in their own time, and their pledge to GSR is firm and not to be doubted!...thanks for the reviewers' and readers' support...having some problems with the server sending my review alerts to my mailbox, so I have to keep logging on to receive them, and it is a delight each time I see another one posted!...you remain terrific...I have to say that this chapter ended with a sniffle...Hope it pleases!...more as soon as I can...-Kathy

--

You are invited to Nick and Sara's wedding in _three_ days

--

Logan swung anxiously in his sleek black leather desk chair, bringing his long legs to stand abruptly, moving in long strides towards the tray containing the coffee carafe.

He moved briskly, as if willing the phone to ring with the return call from his law clerk.

Pastries and sandwiches laying all but ignored on the tray, Logan poured himself the last cup of liquid energy.

Pacing, he found himself at his balloon-shaded window, staring towards the stables.

_How had it gone so wrong?...it had just spiraled out of control…_

Guilt-ridden at causing such a rift between Gil, Sara, and himself, Logan had relied on his instincts and buried himself in his efforts to construct a viable solution to his dilemma.

Staring unseeing towards the horse barn, he recalled his earlier conversation with Gil – the reason he was now locked in his study for news from his research staff.

Glancing at the mantle clock, Logan raised an eyebrow at the hour. It seemed like mere minutes since Nick and Sara had left the stables…

_Gil had been most anxious to hear why Sara had done such a turnaround in her actions towards Nick._

_Logan couldn't deal with the look of Sara's disdain that had been directed at him._

"_Gil…I may have said something inadvertently to Sara-" he began with great effort, as Logan was still having trouble dealing with the turmoil of his now damaged relationship with Sara._

_Gil interrupted violently, "_What did you say_ to upset her so?" he demanded._

_Logan sighed and continued to relate how he disclosed his personal knowledge of Sara's past._

_Gil looked confused._ Surely this could not be the whole problem!

_Logan let the silence dominate the air for a moment, letting the meaning of his words sink in._

_He knew the exact moment that Gil realized the implications of what he had disclosed, seeing Gil take in a sharp breath as he worriedly started pacing._

"_And…she thinks "I" told you!" he said, calmly at first still pacing in small circles before slowing to look towards the stable door through which Sara had departed._

_Before Logan could continue the story, before he could tell Gil how Sara had reacted at the cabin, before he could finish telling him the reasons for _why_ he had blurted out his awareness of her past, Gil was already storming towards the ranchhouse to seek out Sara._

_But he arrived too late, Nick was already pulling out onto the main road by the time Gil reached the front driveway._

_Dejected, Gil rambled about on the lower forty desperately trying to formulate a plan to get his rambling thoughts into a cohesive, effective argument. But finding the right words to make her believe him was not as important as finding a way to make Sara _listen_ to them… _

_--_

The team's arrival in the house distracted him slightly from his original plans, but their resolve to take a much needed rest spurred him to take a walk and clear his head before making his move to get Sara alone…and make her listen.

Having walked around for ten minutes or so, he finally worked up enough courage to proceed with his plan.

Heading back from the grassy meadow below the expansive, multi-leveled deck, it was as Gil was almost at the kitchen door that his peripheral vision noted something from the balcony area seemed to careen to the ground.

Panic set in as Gil remembered Sara's disposition the last he saw her, and he found himself racing towards the area praying he would not find her lifeless body sprawled across the fieldstone terrace below her balcony.

Relieved to find no human remains before him, it stung to encounter the discarded daisies and the cracked ceramic container.

Gil thought for a moment that the current state of the vase mirrored the shattered trust of their relationship.

He had called out to her, hoping that she was still within earshot, and he was relieved to see her figure hovering over the banister.

His relief was not longstanding, however, as she dismissed him angrily.

Realizing she probably would not stand to hear him out, his need to begin the process of healing her hurt caused him to blurt out their need to talk.

When he realized she would not voluntarily allow him an audience, his heart overruled his logic and he decided he would _make_ her listen.

He would wait until the hallways were quiet, and then use the servant's corridor to bring them face-to-face without interruption.

Adrenaline power his steps, slightly out of breath from bounding up the stairs, Gil had stood for moment with only the paneled wall awaiting his decision.

Knock first or just enter which would give her no room to deny his visit?

Disregarding his anxiety over just barging in, he realized he would give Sara _no_ opportunity to stop him from telling her what he needed to say, what _she_ needed to _hear_.

That is how he found himself silently entering her room as she appeared to be dozing uneasily above her silken covers.

--

Shuddering in fear, Sara tried to move but found her limbs ignoring her demand for flight.

Panic setting in, she could feel her heart pounding at such a rate that surely she was heading for a massive coronary.

Had she not been sent into sheer panic by the intruder's hand on her mouth, she might have realized that the touch was not punishing, the hands were familiar, the voice was trying to soothe…

Somewhere in the hidden recesses of her brain, synapses were making those connections that were being ignored by the explosion of adrenaline flooding through her sympathetic nervous system.

The chaos of her internal network caused by the overwhelming fear of imminent sexual attack was halted abruptly by the repetition of her name by a suddenly-familiar voice, "Sara! Please, just _listen_ to me!"

Her eyes flung open cautiously as she was allowed to turn her body to face the owner of the large hand still blanketing her mouth, preventing her from uttering a sound that could be heard outside the room.

It would be apparent to an observer that the tension flowed swiftly from her body as she stared into the blue eyes of the person she had seconds before been praying to help her.

Before removing his hand, Gil moved his face closer to hers keeping her focus as he soothed her hair with his free hand.

"Shh, honey…I'm so sorry to have scared you…but I –I needed to talk to you…and I didn't want your screaming to summon the "troops"," Gil began, inwardly wincing at how much pleasure Lillian would have enjoyed to find him in such a compromising position.

He slowly removed his hand, but not before languishing a finger in a slow rub down her luscious lips.

Sitting up a bit from Sara's prone figure, he realized her robe was the only barrier to seeing her bare before him.

Immediately, he stood off the bed, willing his heart and other appendages on his body to calm down.

Not for the first time was Gil painfully aware of the power Sara had over him, which was one of the reasons he had kept her at arms length all those years.

Sara had not moved since he had released her, her limbs feeling like lead weights as the adrenaline levels decreased.

Having gotten this far, Gil found himself a bit tongue-tied as how to begin.

Deciding to just 'pull off the band-aid quickly', he moved towards her slowly as he blurted out, "_I don't know_ how Logan found out about your …family!"

Angered by the protest, Sara sat up quickly, almost forgetting to cover herself with her robe.

The action distracted Gil, who closed his eyes to will himself to concentrate on anything but the site of her lily white skin exposed dangerously low beneath her neckline.

"Get out!" she seethed quietly, for although she was angry Sara shared Gil's fear of discovery by Lillian.

"No, Sara," he said smoothly although in truth his heart was racing he knew his pulse must be well over 90.

"You _lied_ to me, Grissom…you _promised_ me…and you LIED!" she spat as she looked around for something to throw at this deceiver.

"Sara…think about it…I don't know how he found out, but he's a judge for heaven's sake!...don't you think he has access to information that is off limits to the public?"

Although his argument made perfect sense, an angry Sara was having none of it.

In her mind, it was ludicrous to think that an important man like Logan would find someone like Sara Sidle interesting enough to investigate.

No, it was easier to stick to the concept that Gil had told Logan about her, as she recalled that over the last several days the two had been seen privately conversing freely, always stopping when she entered the room.

By now, Sara had wrapped herself in the width of the cottony softness and was heading for the bathroom.

Gil reached out to grab hold of her arm, but she ducked expertly and managed to gain sanctuary before he could stop her, locking the door behind her.

"Sara!" Gil pleaded, his open palmed hands running over the length of the barrier that prevented him from continuing his attempt to heal this rift.

"Sara, please!"

"_Go away_, Gil! It's over," she laughed mirthlessly, "…over…"

She hung her head and Gil could hear the sounds of muffled sobs on the other side of the door.

"Sara –" he began, but she had shut him out.

He couldn't tell how long he stood there, defeat causing his head to spin.

It was over.

Sara was going to marry Nick.

He had lost her.

Moving to leave, he turned and pressed a kiss softly to his palm, laying it lovingly on the door to the room that held his sorrowing love.

With that, Gil Grissom retreated to the sunny solitude of his guest suite.

But for him, the sunshine had gone out of his miserable existence.

--

Logan jerked the phone from its cradle and his simple, "Tell me," began a recitation of file names, docket numbers, and email addresses that Logan quickly jotted down in his personal shorthand.

Thanking the caller curtly, he hung up and immediately went flipping through the law books that lay open on his desks, shelves, and high back chairs.

His face brightened with each checkmark he made beside the next listed item he was able to locate.

Bookmarked pages were now forgotten as he posted the email list over the computer screen and started typing furiously.

_So far so good…_this_ will have to make Sara sit up and notice…_

_--_

She had spent her rest time huddled on the floor of the shower, unsure as to whether her shivering was caused by her lack of clothing, her lack of sleep, or her refusal to listen to what Gil had come to say.

The five o'clock hour found Sara the first to arrive on the resplendent screened-in deck room.

The covered patio featured a full bar with Jeremy crushing ice to replenish the bin which had been emptied to chill the shrimp, oysters, and finger foods against the warmth of the early summer evening.

Patio chairs were covered in damask, with large bows tied behind them to hold the decorative fabric in place.

Intimate tables were spread here and there, draped in fabric that matched the chairs.

Candles illuminated the space in anticipation of twilight.

It was like walking into a dream.

Sara glided over to the bar, her slender fingers snatching a champagne flute that had just been chilled and now was filled with Nick's favorite bubbly.

She glanced at this dreamlike setting, but could not shake the reality of the nightmare of Gil's visit.

"…_Sara!...think about it…"_

She took a large gulp of the semi-sweet liquid, wincing at the burn as her tongue released its hold on it to allow it to flow down the back of her throat.

Gil's pleas continued their onslaught, resonating through her conscious thought.

"_Think about it…"_

Sara shook her head.

She was done with _thinking_.

She emptied the glass, shakily returning it to the high counter only to reach for another.

She was done with _feeling_.

Sara tipped the glass until half the champagne was gulped.

She felt ready to face the rest of her miserable life.

Walking towards the end of the room, admiring the spread and the decorations, Sara began feeling the effects of the alcohol rush through her body which had not had nourishment yet this day, with precious little nourishment the previous two anxious days.

She was a bit giddy, moving her free hand to the tip of nose, missing the mark slightly, to cover what she was sure to be a goofy grin.

_It won't be so bad, _she thought, grazing her finger along the top of a linen covered chair.

_This will all be mine one day. _

_All this will be mine._

_Nicky will be mine. _

_I'll finally what I've always wanted._

_A home, a husband, a family-_

That thought made her rear her thoughtfully downcast head back as if she'd been slapped.

_A dad._

Sara gulped the remainder of the contents in one large mouthful.

The action caused her to wince, but aided in her keeping her tears in check.

"…_Don't you think he has access to information…?"_ Gil's words continued their assault on her subconscious.

Her feelings of betrayal were becoming fused with questions as to motive.

_But why would Logan _do_ that? _

_Why would he do that to _me_?_

_Didn't he _know_ how much it would hurt me to have everyone learn about my past, to have to face the pitying looks in their eyes?_

_Didn't he _know_?_

It was at that moment that the crushing reality forced its way to the front of Sara's fuzzy consciousness.

_But he _didn't_ know…_

Try as she might to dismiss those thoughts, she could _not_ escape the fact that it _would_ be in character for Logan, a loving father as he was, to find out a little about someone who would have _such_ an impact on the happiness of his only son.

_It would be in character…_

_It would be possible… _

_As a judge, he did have access…_

_Of course he could have search…he just didn't know how it would hurt her…he didn't know…_

Stunned by this realization, Sara missed falling to the floor by the good fortune of Jeremy having approached her at that moment to see if she was alright.

"Sara!" Jeremy moved swiftly from behind her, helping her land squarely on the seat in front of him.

Kneeling swiftly, he took the stemware from her hand and raised her chin to look at him.

Expecting many different things when he looked fully at her face, Jeremy was unprepared to find – a smile.

It was small, but it was growing, and unlike all the others he had viewed over the last two weeks, this one reached her eyes.

"He _didn't_ know," she stated matter-of-factly, causing Jeremy to look closer into Sara's eyes for any signs that medical attention was needed.

His proximity made him the likely target of an unanticipated hug.

"He didn't _know!_" she shreiked.

Pulling away anxiously, Jeremy was about to ask but Sara interrupted him chuckling lightly, "He _didn't_ know, Jeremy! How _could_ he know? That's _why_ he knew!"

"Uh," was all Jeremy could say to Sara's ramblings as he found his attention turning to the oohs and aahs of their guests entering the patio.

"Where's the happy bride-to-be?" called Catherine, clearly impressed with the décor.

"I'm _here_!" Sara said standing a bit too quickly, reaching for Jeremy to steady herself.

"And I _am_ happy!" Sara intoned with a huge smile on her face.

"Wow, Sara! Looks like luck is on your side! If I knew Nick came from all this, _I_ might have tried to snag him myself!" she laughed as Sara giggled.

Catherine moved closer to Sara and said seriously, "But honey, I am so happy for you. You deserve to not be alone anymore. You deserve to be part of this, to be part of a real family."

Her thoughts immediately centered on Logan: memories of the twinkle in his eye as he called her "darlin'", the kiss on the forehead as he went off to work, laughing in the wee hours of the morning as they sat cozily at the kitchen table.

With a huge smile, Sara grabbed Catherine's arm and pulled her to the open bar.

"I'll drink to that," she said as Jeremy decided to keep a mental tab on Sara's alcohol intake.

--

Brass stood outside Gil's room, the investigator in him listening to the hushed tones of an obviously heated phone conversation.

Hearing the thud of a cell phone hitting the mattress, Jim took this as his cue to knock.

A brief second later, the doorknob was unceremoniously ripped from his hand by a flustered Grissom.

The two old friends stood looking at each other for a full second before Gil relaxed a bit and moved back, allowing Brass access to the room.

"Tiff with the old girlfriend?" Jim asked, nodding to the cell phone buried in the quilted cover.

He was not prepared for the angry reaction from Gil.

"What the hell do you want from me, Jim?" he spat angrily as he tried to stack some clothing from its place in his open drawer before needing a release and slamming both the shirts and the drawer in frustration.

"Whoa, partner…" Brass said without reaction, although he had a rough idea as to the root cause of this behavior.

"Tell me."

Silence ensued, and Brass seated himself allowing Gil time to collect his thoughts.

The internal debate was never _if_ he would tell Jim what had been happening, but _how much_ to disclose.

Gil felt Sara had been hurt enough, he wanted to protect her from any additional confrontations by even this most trusted and well-meaning friend.

But once the floodgates opened, it was hard to hold back the tiniest detail.

His recitation over, Brass stood as his upset was genuine and he felt deeply affected by the pain his two friends were experiencing.

A deep breath and a wish to be holding a Jack Daniels in his hand at the moment, Brass asked simply, "And now?"

Gil shrugged and turned away momentarily, hoping to get a rein on his emotions.

So Brass asked again, "And the phone call?"

This time, Gil turned and smiled ruefully. "Sheriff."

His eyebrows raised inquisitively, Jim stood silent, fearing the words he knew were coming.

"I'm leaving, Jim."

Brass turned towards Gil, and after eyeing him for a moment asked, "Do you have any wheels?"

Gil raised his eyebrows before nodding.

"Then, let's get out of here."

--

By this time, the cocktail party had moved into its third hour with the gang enjoying the comforts of good food, good wine, and good friends.

Sara was radiant, but the blush in her cheek could be attributed in large part to the great amount of alcohol she had placed in her system

She hadn't moved from her spot, Nick often leaning on the comfortable armrests of her chair, Greg sometimes taking up residence when Nick strolled over to Sofia's spot on the cushioned window sill seats.

Sara realized she hadn't laughed this hard in …well…forever…

But as the team decided to go into town for the night, Sara stood for the first time and found herself splat on Warrick's lap.

Despite Nick's chiding about not being one to hold her liquor, Catherine's maternal instinct caused her to make a suggestion that perhaps Sara needed some rest instead of a fun night out on the town, seeing as she still was in her recuperation period.

Sofia's head and chest position perked up at this idea, and she cooed that rest seemed to be "just what the doctor ordered".

It went unnoticed when Nick glared at Sofia for a heartbeat before releasing a smirk and an incredulous shake of his head before moving towards Sara to give a helping hand.

Unnoticed, that is, by almost everyone.

"I'll look after her."

It was really more a command than a suggestion, and the entire team stood as Logan Stokes moved slowly towards the gathering.

"You go ahead now, enjoy yourselves," he began in his most hospitable tone, avoiding looking in Nick's direction.

"Sara needs to sleep now. I'll take her up now," he said gently.

Not for the first time did the team understand the extent of his paternal feelings for Sara.

The friends looked at each other in agreement and one by one moved to hug or kiss Sara goodnight, as her lids were already slightly closed.

When Nick finally reached her as the tail end of the parade, he locked eyes with his father.  
A curious sense of dread filled him, and he flashbacked to being a youngster who had just "crossed" his father's immovable "line".

Moving his head to avoid his father's glare, Nick squatted down alongside Sara and kissed her gently on the forehead.

Friends first, Nick had always completed this gesture when he knew she was dealing with some difficult issues.

For the second time today, a pang of guilt resonated through his being at the way he had been acting towards this wonderful woman who would be his wife.

He was shaken out of his reflective moment by Sofia's comment that was fraught with innuendo, "Coming, Nick?"

One more kiss and Nick departed without a word to his father.

Once the party had left through the front entrance, Logan looked at Jeremy who was shaking his head.

"Seven, sir. She wouldn't stop, no matter how hard I tried…"

"Did she eat anything?"

Jeremy paused to be sure he answered correctly.

Shaking his head, he said, "No…and I offered, really, sir…"

Logan put his palm up in the air in the direction of the bar.

"It's fine, son…not your fault."

He leaned in to scoop up his sleeping beauty as he repeated sullenly, "…not your fault."

Climbing the stairs easily as he noted again her lack of substantial body weight, Sara snuggled into the crook of Logan's neck.

He felt more than saw her body tremors, his concern over her alcohol consumption and lack of food causing him to debate calling Dr. Craig again.

Pausing to move the quilted covers aside, Logan placed Sara lovingly on her bed.

Moving to stand erect, he was startled by two weary eyes forcing themselves open.

"Dad?" sleep slurring her the only word she could tiredly release, although her mind raced with so many more she wanted to say..

That one word created such a sense of joy in him, he stood there as happy as when he stood before each of his children when they were first born.

"Darlin'…" he smiled. "…sshh…go to sleep now, darlin'…"

"Stay with me?" she mumbled before her exhaustion and her drinking took hold of her.

He closed his eyes in thanksgiving for this miracle of second chance with this little girl who had stolen his heart.

Moving towards the bed, Logan kicked off his shoes and sat against the polished headboard.

Placing a pillow behind his head, he leaned forward to bring Sara close to him.

Sighing, she placed her head on his chest and was immediately slipping into a restful sleep, knowing her dad was there to chase away the demons from her nightmares.

And her dream was pleasant:

_She was a younger version of herself, sitting on a ribbon festooned wooden swing draped from the most perfect oak tree._

_The day was warm and birds were flying next to a squad of paper airplanes being buffeted by the wind._

_Behind her was Logan, in rolled up sleeves as if he were just coming home from a hard day at work._

_He was pushing her higher with each thrust, helping her feet almost touch the sky._

_Suddenly, he grabbed her swing as it neared him, stopping her in mid air._

"_You're ready, darlin'" he smiled._

_Suddenly anxious, Sara looked back into his eyes as they were now face to face._

"_I don't know what to do, dad," she said as a tear started to form in her eye._

"_Just let go when it's time, Sara, and trust your heart. Trust your heart, darlin'."_

_With that he kissed her on the cheek and with the full force of his weight, he poised to release her before whispering, "I love you, Sara."_

_She smiled trustingly at him and said, "I love you too, Dad."_

_Suddenly there was a rush of wind and Sara released her hold on the safety of the swing._

_She realized her now grown up self was being propelled through the sky, birds mocking her flight, paper airplanes celebrating her descent as she landed forcefully into the secure grip of strong arms._

_Feeling a kiss that warmed her from head to toe, Sara soon found her brown eyes gazing into happy blue ones, as she laughed and cried, "Oh, Gil!" _


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: Please consider this the first of two parts of the wedding countdown day 2…forgive any typos or errors, as I am again posting on the fly…these two are taking us on quite a rollercoaster ride emotionally, and the cars are just leaving the station…your reviews and reader support have just been phenomenal…you are _so_ terrific!...hope this one pleases...I'd just keep in mind that what goes up, must come down…but for now…I'll take all the high road I can get…more as soon as I can…-Kathy

--

"**You are cordially invited to Nick and Sara's Wedding in **_**two **_**days"**

--

Brass lounged in bed, debating whether to join the others for breakfast, after spending so little time with them last evening.

He smirked at the recollection, only to sigh at the implications of the evening.

_He had followed Gil to the Jeep and found himself headed towards the Dew Drop Inn along a silent, contemplative Grissom._

_Having been greeted warmly by the bartender who remembered the last time Gil had visited his establishment with Logan, Gil and Brass found a corner booth farthest away from the swing band that was setting up as the evening's entertainment._

_Downing a large gulp of his drink, Brass had pushed Gil for details._

"So_…you're leaving…as in…leaving before the wedding?...leaving for Vegas?..." he shuddered at the next prospect,"…leaving the lab?"_

_Gil took a deep drink before wincing and replying, "Going…from the lab. Sheriff doesn't want to accept my two week notice over the phone. I told him I simply wouldn't be back. Dammit! He can't stop me! I have more vacation time on the books than most of the team put together, except Sara-"_

_Brass noted the pain in Gil's expression as he broke off his tirade and brought the glass to his lips again._

_Jim had raised his hand to stop the glass from hitting its target._

_Angry eyes were met with sympathetic, knowing ones._

"_Take it from me, buddy…it won't help matters…"_

_Pulling his hand away, Gil contemplated the glass before completing the action, emptying the drink in one gulp._

"_Won't hurt matters, either," he reasoned with the logic of man with nothing left to lose._

_They sat for a while, before Jim had explored the topic again._

"_So…you leave…what _then_?"_

_Gil ran a hand through his hair, agitated._

"_Move on…" he said tiredly._

_Brass spoke without hesitation._

"_You can do that?"_

_A long pause as Gil was participating in a mental debate, both men brought out of their conversation as the doors to the Inn swung open to the raucous sound out laughter as the team filed in obviously set on a night on the town._

_Brass waved and the friends moved towards some of the empty tables near their booth._

_Before he knew what exactly was happening, Gil's seat was empty in a heartbeat and Brass found himself chasing an angry Grissom through the doorway._

_No way his friend was getting behind the wheel in his condition…_

Brass sighed and sat up on the corner of the bed.

He shook his head and took a deep breath, pondering just what was making him feel so…uneasy.

Always finding Sara more like a daughter than a co-worker, Brass had been on the ranch long enough to realize that, as much as he wanted to see Sara happy, he was beginning to get strong vibes that Nick was not meant to be Sara's "happily ever after"…

Memories of last night resurfaced, causing a wry smile to form on Brass' face.

_Well, buddy…you've got two days left to make this right…just don't blow it, pal…_

--

Gil lay in his bed, unsure of whether his body hurting was the result of his overindulgence last evening, or the pain of the events leading up to his weary body's collapse into a dreamless sleep…

_He recalled sitting at the Inn with Brass, his insides screaming at the question before him:_

"_You can do that?"_

_Gil had refused to answer. _

_He wanted to scream_ No! Dammit, no! I can't move on…not without her…without Sara, I'm just a nobody, going nowhere…

All those years…she reached out to me all those years…I have no one to blame but myself…

And _Nick_…

The thought of that bastard made Gil want to _end_ him…

_Just then the doors of the Inn had opened, and he groaned when realizing the party he had been avoiding had followed him._

_And he was going to be forced to watch Sara and Nick together._

_Gil poured another half glass and downed it in one gulp to steel himself against the heartbreak._

_His gaze was now locked on the entryway as Brass just had to make their presence known._

_Gil haphazardly tallied them as they came through the door, seeing Nick pause to hold the door open for the next in line._

_He could see Nick pause and give that smile to the next person, and his heart sank as he realized how much he wished it would be him to share such a suggestive look with Sara –_

_except that it wasn't Sara who filed in a bit too closely behind Nick._

Sofia!

_Gil was on his feet before Brass could stop him._

_He was fed up with Nick's flaunting of his relationship with Sara, and now…he's flirting with Sofia?_

_And where the _hell _was Sara?_

_That thought had stoked the fire of his rage as he barreled out of the booth and confronted Nick with an angry, "And where the hell is Sara?"_

_Nick seemed…guilty?...as he retreated a step, moving into Sofia's half-embrace while she averted her eyes._

"_She's…she's had too much to drink…she was too drunk to come…she-"_

"_And you _left her_?_

_All she's been through, and you _left her alone_?"_

"_Hey! She's okay!" Nick said loudly, his defenses rising._

"_She's with my dad! She's got someone watching out for her!"_

_Gil seethed as he clutched Nick's collar angrily._

"_She's supposed to have YOU, dammit! She deserves to have someone she's going to _spend the. rest. of. her. life. with. watching _over her!" he spat angrily, releasing him with a push that landed him almost on top of Sofia as she teetered on the edge of an empty table._

_Catherine muttered a "Bravo!" to Warrick's agreeing nod._

_The problem with befriending trained investigators was that they could pick up on details that were often overlooked by casual observers._

_And not for the first time this evening did both Catherine and Warrick exchange raised eyebrows over Nick's behavior – towards Sara and towards Sofia._

_Greg remained oblivious to the row as he stood at the bar to order the first round of drinks._

_By the time he had returned to their table, tray in hand, Greg was extremely puzzled by Sofia's softly speaking to Nick away from the others, as the others just sat in silent conversation with their looks speaking volumes._

"_What'd I miss?...and where the heck is Grissom?" Greg asked, as Catherine and Warrick responded by swiping their drinks from the tray and clinking them in a toast before sipping and smiling towards each other._

_Gil closed his eyes as the memory of his desperation to get back to Sara plunged him into the same state as had overcome him on his long journey back to the ranch._

_He had been glad Brass had insisted on driving, his semi-drunken state made his likely destination a ditch rather than the driveway, and he pounded his fist on the windowsill as he wished the Jeep to move faster._

_Not waiting for the vehicle to come to an adequate stop, Gil had almost fallen over before righting himself on the support beam of the covered roof and stepping more surely into the kitchen._

_Only Cook was there, and he stood in stunned silence as Gil flew by him up the back stairwell._

_Moments later, without knocking, Gil stumbled into Sara's room to find her fast asleep –_

_in the arms of a clearly puzzled Logan._

_Placing a finger to his lips to demand silence from the intruder, Logan deftly moved Sara off her comfortable resting position._

_Only after ensuring that she was supported and still sleeping soundly, Logan approached Gil and led him out the door into the servant's corridor._

_Latching the door quietly, Gil's resolve melted as he barked intensely, "What the hell happened to her?"_

_Logan took in the state of Gil's appearance and smiled._

He looks like he has been through the wringer_, Logan smiled again, wondering for the first time why Gil had not made a play for Sara long before this whole wedding business, considering the obvious depth of feeling he had for her._

Gil lay now in his bed, recalling the unsatisfactory answers Logan had given him about Sara drinking too much and needing to be taken to bed to help her sleep it off.

_But Sara doesn't drink like that…what reason would she have to drink like that..._

_unless she was so depressed that she feels her back is against the wall…_

Gil swung himself forcefully out of bed.

His impatience was growing, he needed to see Sara.

Perhaps she would go with him to meet with Logan.

_Before they parted last night, Logan had taken inventory of Gil's actions and decided that getting to the bottom of Nick's activities would best be an activity for a more rational Grissom._

_That is how Gil wound up promising to meet with Logan in the morning, and promising that he would get some sleep before then._

But meeting with Logan was not his first priority today.

He needed to get to Sara's room and see with his own eyes that she was alright.

--

Dressing quickly in the late morning sun, Sara had showered and found the cool water had hastened the effect of the Tylenol maximum strengths tablets that Emma Anne had brought her earlier _at the request of Judge Stokes_.

The maid was happy when Sara accepted them, but frowned slightly as she agreed to the leave the tray containing finger foods Logan was hopeful she would eat, knowing Sara had skipped several meals in the last few days.

Feeling slightly more like herself, she contemplated joining the others for breakfast.

But the thought of facing Nick just yet, pretending to be happy that only two days separated her current pain from the nightmare of "until death do us part"…

Sara paced desperately in the confines of her room, every item of décor in the room oppressing her with Nick's presence that she fled to the open air of the balcony for some relief.

It was unclear how long she stood gazing out towards the trail that led to the pond, to the cabin…

Memories flooded her weary soul as a sad smile pasted itself across her troubled countenance.

She thought of the last time she was out at the pond, throwing daisies, being interrupted by Gil, stalking off, coming out of the shower to find her bed strewn with daisies,_ "…he loves me…", _then angrily tossing them away_…tossing her dreams away…_

At this moment she would give anything to take back that action.

She wanted more than anything to hold them once more, to bask in the fragrance of their blooms one last time, to rest surrounded by the reminders that once, she was loved…

Sara leaned forward weakly onto the banister that prevented anything from falling off the edge of the balcony to the stone terrace below.

Rather than being comforted by the security of the decorative railing, Sara's already muddled thoughts began viewing the painted wood as a barrier, just another tangible keeping her imprisoned here in a place she didn't want to be, preparing for a wedding she didn't want to happen, to a man whose proximity made her shudder without provocation.

Looking out past the smooth rim of the banister, Sara's downcast eyes spotted something caught in the vines growing green against the brick of the exterior wall of the home.

Could it be?

She leaned further to discover to her delight that one daisy had snagged itself into the vine below, never having made it to the terrace below during Sara's violent outburst.

Only slightly wilted, the happy flower beckoned in welcome, and she suddenly felt irrationally filled with desire to hold in her trembling hand that small token of a happier time.

Leaning over the banister, Sara realized the tiny bloom was down too far to reach it from her position.

Obsessed with retrieving it, as if somehow her life could not go on without it, Sara pulled off her shoes and climbed up onto the flat rim of the barrier.

Kneeling precariously, she wished her hand to still itself enough to keep her grip on the banister.

Her intent had been to kneel up, lay prone across the banister top, then twist her body while leaning headfirst as she gripped the outside of the decorative spokes with one hand, allowing her to reach the flower with the other..

She reasoned that if she slipped, her feet would still grip the banister rim, helping to support her weight as she would reverse her twist and gain enough leverage to pull herself back up onto the balcony.

It sounded surprisingly easy.

But Murphy's Law seemed to govern Sara's life, and, as expected, "What can go wrong, will go wrong."…

Sara knew the instant the plan started to go wrong.

She had been kneeling upright, about ready to lower her body to lay prone on the top rail, when she made the mistake of looking down.

Often faced with working at dangerous heights on the job, if Grissom had warned her once, he had warned her a dozen times, "Just don't look down, Sara!"

Suddenly plagued with a bout of dizziness, she started to panic as she felt herself leaning forward, a sensation of shivers delivering their warning of her precarious perch.

She reached outward on either side but she was too far away from the winding green growth on either side to grasp onto them.

From afar, one might think she had flexed her arms and was ready to jump, attempting to sail away into the humid late morning air.

The calm overtook her thoughts as her body struggled for control of the situation.

They say when you are faced with your own imminent death, your life flashes in front of your eyes.

Sara's lips curved into an unconscious smile as her life flashbacks consisted solely of Grissom: snapshots of him calling her to come to Vegas, working side by side at crime scenes, him looking a bit too closely over her shoulders at the computer readouts, his smile as she stopped by his door to say goodnight, his concern as he saved her from that landslide, him signing _forever…_

Her body swayed back and forth to maintain its equilibrium, her hands pressed farther out in an effort to steady herself.

And suddenly, she was falling.

A skydiver would have applauded her form.

Her heart beating wildly in her ears, Sara couldn't make a sound.

She was going to die….here…and he would never know how sorry she was to have accused him wrongly of betraying her trust…

She felt the pressure of the banister lessen as her legs followed her falling form.

Closing her eyes, she waited for the pain…and hoped then to finally feel the peace…

Pain indeed filled her chest as strong arms gripped her furiously, reversing her direction.

"Sara! What the _hell_ do you think you're _doing_??"

By this time, Gil had grabbed her from the banister onto the balcony, and into the safety of his tightened embrace.

"Sara! My lord….Sara!" he choked, unable to articulate the raw emotion that threatened to immobilize him now as he thought of what another second's delay might have brought.

He held her and she clung to him as her lifeline, too weak to explain, too content to just be in his arms again.

Once his heart rate decreased after a few moments, he released her enough to bring her face towards his.

She could only anticipate his kiss, her body yearning for the contact that had been denied them these last few days.

Instead, her eyes focused on his – and she gasped at the intensity of the emotion found there.

"How could you even think about doing something so stupid?!"

Gil was shaking as his voice intensity continued to grow as he released his pent up fears.

"If you are so unhappy, Sara, I WILL leave you alone.

You could go somewhere…talk to someone…

But jumping off-" he hung his head as his voice broke.

He was feeling responsible for the entire affair.

_If I just hadn't pushed her._

_If I just had kept to my promise to leave her alone once Nick arrived…_

His angered returned as despair was increasing.

"You have so many people who love you, Sara…and you were willing to do something so hurtful…_so hurtful_…"

Gil continued to berate her actions, but she was no longer listening.

Sara looked at this man whose present fury seemed based on the unmasked depths of his love for her.

His fiery expression was meant to convey his outrage over her misunderstood actions.

However, his presence and actions here had only served to demonstrate the opposite.

_He still loves me!_

She suddenly felt aflame with hope that somehow, by some miracle, they would find a way to be together.

In a nanosecond, Sara teetering and again felt herself diving back into the dark abyss of reality.

She had this overwhelming need to protect him, that's why she continued to submit to Nick's demand.

However...face-to-face with him now, like this…after all this…

Sara had this sudden, consuming desire to tell him everything:

about Nick's threats,

about her anguish in choosing to proceed with the wedding, a choice made out of love for him, about her hunger for them to be together...

"…_Trust your heart, darlin'…"_

She stayed tuned out to Gil's continuing tirade, concentrating instead on her love for this man.

_His angry posture making the blue in his eyes even more hypnotic._

_His jaw clenched as he spewed forth his diatribe born from his helplessness to protect her._

_His fists clenched tightly as he struggled to rein in his desire to touch her._

She watched as Gil snapped his head to the side, closing his eyes in an attempt to calm himself before he finally said something he'd later regret.

Sara observed it all.

And at that moment…

…she decided to trust her heart.

She felt him shudder in surprise as her gentle touch reached his cheek, turning his head as she assailed his mouth with an explosive kiss that left them both shuddering.

They were groping each other almost painfully:

-he willing to enfold her within the recesses of his heart, never to let go,

-she desiring to lose herself in him until they were one.

Their desire, denied them for several long days, left them weak-kneed, and it took all the strength that Gil possessed to break away from the binding spell of her lips.

Locking their foreheads together breathlessly, his eyes remained closed as he struggled to regain his speech.

"SSSara…"

It was soft.

It was his heart on a whisper.

It was a declaration of his love.

It was a gentle plea.

And it touched her soul in such a way that she felt she could die happy at this moment, having experienced such a perfect love.

He opened his eyes tentatively, fearing her reaction.

She could send him away, denying him because of her mistrust over the situation with Logan.

She could forgive him, but remind him of her commitment to marry Nick – and his promise that he would abide by her wishes.

She could deny her desire for him, making him realize once again that his memories of their short, magic time together would be all he would ever have of Sara.

But in the recesses of his heart, he still held out hope that by some miracle, she _could_ want _him_ to be her one and only, as Gil realized that, short of this miracle, he would never feel whole again.

As he focused on her eyes, he saw a tear trail down her flawless cheek as she whispered, "Love me, Gil."

Her wish was his command.

They came together as if a strong magnetic force had hurled them forth.

They clung to each other with hands raking through each other's hair, willing their lips to merge into a single unit.

Pulling them apart abruptly, Sara stared into his eyes.

_No, Sara…don't say this is a mistake..._

She released her grip on him purposefully, causing him to do the same.

As Sara moved and walked away from him, Gil stood shellshocked, unable to focus his mind at the sudden loss of her touch.

"Sara…" he moaned, wondering what he was supposed to do next.

The next second he heard the click of the bedroom door locking.

Shaking his head to make sense of what was happening, he mustered enough courage to turn and watch as she had moved towards the servant's corridor and locked that door as well.

Now standing a room apart, Sara suddenly felt unsure of her next step.

She knew protecting Gil was her paramount desire.

But she also was feeling the overwhelming power of another type of desire.

He looked so vulnerable.

She would never want to hurt him.

But this ache of her empty arms wasn't going to go away.

She needed him.

They needed each other.

And she loved him.

"…_Trust your heart, darlin'…"_

At that moment, she realized she could no more deny him than she could refuse to breathe.

Gil watched disbelieving as Sara moved slowly towards him.

Now standing inches apart, she was silently gazing into his eyes.

Was she searching for an answer?

Without conscious thought, he spoke the bard's words softly as if baring his own soul, raising his hand to cup her cheek and delighting as she closed her eyes at his touch.

_Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,  
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.  
If this be error and upon me proved  
I never writ, nor no man ever loved._

He'd accept tomorrow.

He'd accept the possibility of life without her.

But for now, for right now, they were together.

For now, for right now, they had their love.

He scooped her up easily as she nestled her head in the crook of his neck.

He firmed his grip so as not to drop her as her kisses made him weak all over.

He was putty in her hands.

He was totally surrendered to his love for this woman.

They undressed each other but refused to lose contact with each other for even a moment.

Lips kissed and licked and arms regained their hold desperately after the briefest loss of touch.

He loomed over her and she wriggled under him.

He planted kisses feverishly over her cheeks, chin, neck, but always returning to the safe harbor of those lips.

Those lips for which he had thirsted in the desert of his exile.

She stroked her slender fingers over his muscular form, grazing his back downward, skimming his sides upwards, blazing a trail through his graying curls to deepen the pleasure of his kisses.

She needed him in her life, there was no denying that fact any longer.

She was unsure of what would happen to them in the next few days.

But she was sure of this.

She _was_ going to trust her heart.

Because her self-imposed agony had brought her nothing but despair, loneliness, and heart ache.

And her surrender now was bringing her everything she had ever desired in those painful years leading up to this moment.

_True love._

The intangible emotion made corporal in the presence of this man, who had been willing to sacrifice his need and desire for them to be together simply because she had asked him to.

Had been willing to sacrifice it all. For _her_.

As she had been willing to sacrifice it all. For _him._

Their coupling was becoming intense, and she was only now vaguely aware that he was continuing to profess his love more urgently as he steered them both towards the slope of the climax of their union.

Tears slid from below her lashes as she closed her mind to any thoughts other than the depth of her love for this man who forever would be her one and only.

He buried himself for a moment in the warmth of her neck, wanting her to understand.

If this were to be their final time together, he wanted her to understand that he loved her.

Loved her so much, the words from Browning pouring forth breathlessly from his lips:

"I love you, Sara… to the depth and breadth…and height my soul can reach…"

Kissing away her tears, his pace quickened as his head raised and his hand smoothed her hair, causing her to look with love into his eyes.

They stayed that way as the world disappeared around them, their final defenses crumbling between them, the freefall of their climax causing them to become speechless, freeing them from all thought - with the exception of Sara's sighing, "Oh….Gil…"


	30. Chapter 30

A/N: This chapter is too short, but I wanted to post another section on the fly…consider this part two of three for countdown day 2…reviewers and readers remain great…their ride continues…sigh…don't kill the messenger…more as soon as I can…-Kathy

--

"**You are cordially invited to Nick and Sara's Wedding in **_**two **_**days"**

--

Lillian had risen early, but stayed in their four poster bed alone. She knew Logan had come to bed after she had fallen asleep and she was more than a bit surprised that he was gone before she awakened.

Deciding to rest today before the "day before" whirlwind began, Lillian thought about her only son marrying in just two days.

She recalled the parties and get togethers she and Logan had attended in these days prior to their marriage and not for the first time did she frown at the simplicity Sara had insisted upon when they first laid out the schedule.

Lillian wondered just what kind of life Nick was going to have with someone like Sara holding him back. Nick had so much potential. Sara seemed to relish the obscurity of her unaccomplished life.

Lillian couldn't imagine what life must have been like being raised by family after the loss of her parents, and once again a huff escaped Lil's downcast eyes and she wondered if Nick just felt sorry for the poor girl. Nick was so empathetic, always bringing home strays when he was a boy.

But, she shrugged, Nick was totally in love with Sara and she was going to be so lucky to have a man like that control her life. Nick was going to make Sara very happy, even if conversely she herself fell short in that department.

Deciding to head down to breakfast at this late morning hour, she wondered if Nick and his friends had enjoyed their time in town. She looked forward to spending time with them at the bonfire this evening.

A Stokes family tradition, the bonfire replaced the traditional bachelor and bachelorette parties.

More of a "Jack and Jill" event, both men and women were invited for live music, gag gifts, and a blazing bonfire for cooking hot dogs, marshmallows, and other more gourmet menu items suitable for the venue.

Lillian was always in demand for hosting these events, as her knack for decorating and menu planning was well known throughout the area.

Showering and dressing quickly, Lillian soon found herself moving towards the guest wing to see if Sofia was ready to join her for a late brunch.

--

Having left Sara to return to his room, Gil peppered her with kisses that had her giggling happily before he moved through the doorway to the corridor.

Sara needed to speak to Gil, but decided to wait until they met with Logan as she felt in need of the moral support, unsure as she was of Gil's immediate reaction.

Gil was just about to turn down his hallway when he heard a man's voice huskily bidding an amorous goodbye to Sofia.

The sound brought Gil to a halt, job training causing him to instinctively press himself against the wall.

Footsteps were just about ready to clear the barrier and place him in Gil's view, when he heard another disembodied voice up ahead of him cry, "Nicky! What are you doing up here, dear?"

"Mom!" a startled voice replied. "I-I'm surprised to see you up here."

_I'll bet you are, Nicky-boy!,_ thought a smug Grissom.

"I-I was just looking for Grissom, but he's not in his room," Nick thought quickly, making Gil grimace angrily.

_You've been with Sofia, haven't you? How long has _this_ been going on behind Sara's back?_

For a brief moment, Gil wondered if this knowledge would be enough to break whatever strings were binding Sara into agreeing to this sham of a marriage.

Gil held his breath as now Nick was moving towards his mother's position.

Fortunately, he was so concentrated on keeping Lillian away from Sofia's door that he failed to notice Grissom pressed against the wall in the shadows of the connecting corridor.

When the sounds of their conversation dwindled to nothingness, Gil strode over to Sofia's door.

Banging loudly, Gil was a bit shocked when Sofia began, "Forget something, lover-" before stopping to gaze into Grissom's eyes.

Instead of being taken aback, Sofia's attraction to Grissom led her to move seductively towards him.

"Well," she began, "to what to I owe the pleasure of this little visit? Did you…._miss _me?" Sofia began gliding her fingers boldly over the placket front of his shirt.

Gil had intended to pull away, to let Sofia know he had uncovered her tryst with Nick when the object of his disdain grasped his shirt roughly with both hands and covered his mouth with hers.

At that exact moment, Emma Anne appeared behind him, at first curiously and then horrified. Her mouth gaping open , she dropped her gaze and dropped the bed linens from her hands.

Pulling away sharply, Gil's sudden movement caused Sofia to become off balance and she fell hard onto the carpeted bedroom surface.

This caused Emma Anne to gasp in air sharply, almost unbelieving as it seemed that Gil had thrown the poor woman to the floor!

She just stared at him thinking, _you think you know a person…_

Now Gil was flustered and Sofia looked pleased with herself at Emma Anne's reaction, having kissed him in that fashion as she had seen the maid's shadow approaching behind him.

Focusing on Emma Anne as a reliable alibi, Sofia pouted towards Gil, "I'm sorry…please, Gil…don't-"

He stared horrified at Sofia, then at Emma Anne, and just turned abruptly to leave the scene and return to his room, shaken by what had just transpired.

Emma Anne retrieved the fallen bed linens and laid them on the unmade bed.

Tears were barely being restrained, and the maid simply turned and left.

Closing her door and now alone, Sofia stood handily and plopped on to her bed, laughing at how fate had smiled on her today.

_Take that, Grissom!_

_--_

Logan was pacing in his office, deciding to give Gil and Sara just one half hour more before he came to find them.

Lillian knocked and entered his office happily, inquiring if Logan would like to share a late brunch.

He was about to agree when his wife entered the room completely followed by Nick.

The two locked gazes, and Logan did not release his son's eyes as he said, "No…I lost my appetite."

Nick was about to give a snappy retort, when he noticed the change in Logan's countenance.

Whirling around to follow his gaze, Nick now was looking at a clearly shaken Emma Anne carrying in a tray of coffee and biscuits.

"My dear, are you alright?" Logan asked concerned, taking the tray from his favorite maid's shaking hands.

"Oh…fine, sir," she lied, wishing she had found her employer alone.

"Emma ANNE!" Lillian huffed, irritated. "You are clearly NOT focused on your work. What in the world are you going on with now?"

Logan frowned and moved past Lillian to usher the maid into the room.

"I think we need to talk," said Logan and he noticed an aggravated Lillian moving towards a seat.

"ALONE, if you don't mind," he spoke pointedly at Lillian, remaining unaffected by her scowl.

With that, Lillian and Nick left Logan's office as he escorted Emma Anne to a more comfortable chair nearer to his desk, an area designed for maximum privacy from prying ears.

Once seated, Emma Anne's lip quivered as she recalled the details of her recent discovery of Gil and Sofia.

--

Sara was staring at herself in the mirror, realizing the toll her lack of normal meals had taken on her face and figure.

Looking almost gaunt, Sara vowed to march right down to the kitchen and have Cook make her one of his special omelets.

Then she would make her way down to meet with Logan.

She had her hand on the doorknob when she heard a knock on the door and found Sofia standing there in front of her.

Asking for permission to enter, Sofia immediately began her "traumatized innocent" routine, begging for Sara's indulgence as she just had to tell "someone" about Gil's predatory attack on her person.

At first, Sara stood speechless. Nothing Sofia was saying made any sense to her.

If they had not been in Nick's home, she would have thought herself on a reality TV show.

But when Sofia turned on the waterworks, Sara unleashed her anger.

"HOW DARE YOU!" Sara fumed, moving threateningly towards her.

"Gil Grissom is a good and gentle man. How _dare_ you impugn his integrity?"  
"Well, Sara…" Sofia sniffed softly, "he _is_ a man, and , well, I am not _that_ uncomfortable to look at…"

"He would never _touch_ you, Sofia! You've thrown yourself at him for years, and now-"  
"_Oh_?" Sofia said, wishing to reel her in, now that Sara had taken the bait.  
"Is _that_ what he's told you?"

--

Gil stood looking out over the beautiful countryside that lay before his view from his bay window.

However, the lush green of the ranch paled in his focus.

Furious, Gil had barely calmed down before he realized that spending one more day here would certainly be his downfall.

He wanted to take Sara and run, moving to Europe if need be to get as far away from this emotional quicksand as possible.

Why didn't he?

The thought stopped his next breath.

_Why didn't they?_

He knew she didn't love Nick, why hadn't he just scooped her up in his protective embrace and stolen away with her?

He tried recalling the reasons she had given him for continuing with this charade, but he realized Sara had never told him _why_…only that she _was_…

His anger fueled his actions as he turned on his heel and grabbed his suitcase.

He had come here with very little…but he would leave here with the rest of his life tucked inside the safety of his embrace…

In under five minutes, Gil surveyed the room and happily stashed the suitcase in the closet to veil it from prying eyes.

He would keep his meeting with Logan and then be off to whisk Sara away towards their "happily ever after"…

--

At that moment, Sara was at the bottom of the staircase, turning hurriedly down the hall leading to Logan's study.

She needed to talk to Gil, hoping he was already meeting with Logan.

Sara tried to get Sofia's words from resonating in her mind, shaking her head fiercely as she steeled herself to hold onto the thoughts of their last touch, their last kiss...and as she worriedly trudged closer to the closed wooden entryway which would open not just a path into the study but also a path to the truth, Sara sighed, "Oh, Gil..."


	31. Chapter 31

_**This chapter is rated M for content of attempted sexual assault. If reading this type of material offends you, please wait and read the next chapter.**_

_A/N: As a few wonderful reviewers pointed out, in my haste to post the last chapter, I left out a few final lines…I have since added them to the last chapter, but I include them now so you won't have to backtrack:_

--from the end of chapter 30:

At that moment, Sara was at the bottom of the staircase, turning hurriedly down the hall leading to Logan's study.

She needed to talk to Gil, hoping he was already meeting with Logan.

Sara tried to get Sofia's words from resonating in her mind, shaking her head fiercely as she steeled herself to hold onto the thoughts of their last touch, their last kiss...and as she worriedly trudged closer to the closed wooden entryway which would open not just a path into the study but also a path to the truth, Sara sighed, "Oh, Gil..."

--

A/N: And now on to the last section of wedding countdown day 2…only one more day until wedding bells ring! (and I promise you they WILL be ringing…)…thanks to reviewers and readers alike…this chapter had me pacing for an hour before I posted it…reminders that these two are committed to GSR…however, this ride has plenty of wild turns…a note to Kateri Bear to get out that box of tissues…going to be away from my computer for the long weekend, so I'm staying up late tonight to post before the weekend preparation begins tomorrow…next post as soon as I can next week…good luck to jenstog as she moves into her new home…you people are amazing…Happy 4th…we have lots to be grateful for…enjoy this weekend…and hope you can hang on with this story a bit longer…see you next week…-Kathy

--

"**You are cordially invited to Nick and Sara's Wedding in **_**two **_**days"**

--

Sara knocked softly and Logan appeared at the door.

His expression was unreadable…but he looked at her anxiously and almost pulled her into his study.

"Dad?" she asked before turning around to see Emma Anne's tear-streaked face focused on her from the polished leather seat across the room.

"Emma-…what?"

Sara's gazed flipped from her friend to Logan and back again.

Her emotions raw after her confrontation with Sofia, she angrily asked, "_Someone_ tell me what is going on here? _Where's Gil_?"

Sara became more unnerved at Emma Anne's reaction to his name being spoken.

Now whirling around towards Logan as she stepped uncertainly into the middle of the room, she suddenly was feeling a bit claustrophobic, and noticed that her hands were quite numb and the air in the room was becoming hard to inhale.

"Someone…tell me…" was all she blurted out before finding herself escaping down a narrow tunnel of increasing blackness until she reveled in the blessed relief of unconsciousness.

Raised voices.

A set of hands under her.

The softness of cushions under her raised feet.

More hands stroking her hair.

Unidentifiable words and phrases.

_Leave me alone. Let me stay here, where it's dark and peaceful. No more heartbreak._

_No more pain._

Through the fog of her stupor, a single word floated through the haze and touched her deeply, making her fight with the shadows that would keep her imprisoned, making her desperate to open her eyes,

"_Sara_."

"I think you should leave, Gil. She's been through enough these last few days. She doesn't need to be dealing with…_this_…right now, poor thing."

_Poor thing?_

_POOR THING?_

_Grissom…are you just going to stand there and let them call me THAT?_

_Grissom?_

_GRISSOM!_

Sara struggled and managed to open her eyes wide enough to see a terrified Logan holding her hand, stroking her hair.

She tried to turn but he was trying to stop her.

Sara angrily batted at his hand a bit incoherently, searching the room for Gil.

He was gone.

Now more awake, Sara tried to sit up.

At first Logan protested, but relented and helped her to a sitting position.

"Let me get you some-" he started, hovering over her, but was cut off by Sara's impatient, "Where's Gil?"

There was a silence as Logan refused to meet her gaze and Emma Anne looked like she wanted to escape.

Sara had been knocked out for a few minutes, and when Gil arrived he was so frantic that Emma Anne began to doubt seriously her conclusions from their earlier meeting.

_Gil loves her…I can see that…I have always seen that…but what about Sofia?...what happened upstairs before…could I have been mistaken?...she seemed truly terrified…but…I've seen her do a good impression of being Miss Goody Two Shoes…perhaps I need to investigate a bit more…_

The maid was brought back to the present by a now angry Sara fighting with Logan, ending with,"…and I'd like to hear that from Emma Anne myself…"

Before she could speak, Gil reappeared in Logan's doorway with a tray containing a cup of vegetable broth, hot tea, and a small biscuit.

Moving into the room, he was aware of Emma Anne backing off to keep her distance from him.

The move was hurtful, but he brushed it off as he concentrated solely on Sara.

"Sara-" he began but was cut off as Logan pulled the tray from him and set it down on a small end table near where Sara sat.

"This is not a good time, Gil. I need to speak to Sara alone, if you don't mind," Logan rose and place himself squarely between Gil and Sara.

"Actually, Logan, I DO mind," Gil said heatedly. He didn't lose his temper often, but this situation had gotten way out of control.

He moved to walk around Logan, who blocked his path and repeated a bit more formally, "I need to speak to her ALONE."

"Well, too bad, Logan…I'M NOT LEAVING WITHOUT SARA!" Gil barked, standing toe-to-toe with this man who towered over him.

"What is this about, Logan?" he continued, furious that even the merest glimpse of Sara was being hidden from him.

"It's about…a few things you need to explain to us…to Sara…" Logan heaved out, wondering how he could ever have trusted this betrayer with Sara's happiness.

Words failed him.

He knew now why Emma Anne was still present.

He knew she had told Logan and he now considered Gil a threat to Sara's peace of mind.

He was no longer trusted by the judge.

But what about by Sara?

Fed up with the blockade, Gil pushed Logan squarely on the shoulders, causing him to back up enough for Gil to look at Sara who had said nothing since he entered the room.

They locked eyes.

In the second before Logan reciprocated the action, Gil's heart stopped.

He was looking for support and love, but instead found doubt and insecurity.

Now having been hurled backwards by Logan's shove, Gil unleashed his fury over the entire situation.

He and Logan wrestled, he to move forward to get to Sara, and Logan to move backwards to keep him away from her.

Gil was no match for Logan who had caused him to retreat to the doorway before releasing him with a thud against the wall.

"Better take some time, Gil, to decide what it is you _really_ want," Logan puffed heavily.

Gil refused to take his eyes off Sara, his silence causing her to glance up at him worriedly.

"You, Sara…you're all I've _ever_ wanted."

Defeated, Gil sneered at Logan before brushing himself off the wall and pulling the door open to leave, slamming it loudly as he stomped down the hall and back to his room.

Sara sagged tiredly against the comfort of the sofa for a few seconds.

Suddenly, Logan was aware of Sara attempting to stand, to run after Gil.

He stopped her by pulling her into a tight embrace.

She fought, but was currently no match for his overpowering restraint.

They stood there for several long moments.

Emma Anne, deep in thought, silently left them to return to the kitchen.

Pulling herself angrily out of his embrace, Sara turned her back on this man whom she loved more than any parent she had ever known.

Swiping at a tear, she asked nastily, "Just what was it you wanted to talk to me about this morning?"

Sighing, Logan thought about the information he had uncovered that was supposed to help relieve some of the pain and distress that had blanketed her the last week.

Feeling it was now a moot point, Logan moved to place comforting hands on her shoulders and merely replied, "It can keep."

--

Later that afternoon, the team had gathered in the family room chatting about the fun they had at the Dew Drop Inn.

Nick, Warrick, Catherine, and Greg were howling at Greg's impersonation of the bar tender.

As the laughter died down, Warrick asked,"So…where's Sara today?"

A bit too quickly, Nick replied, "Doin' wedding stuff, I suppose."

Catherine was still trying to piece together this puzzle. Something was off here, and she was not being given enough parts to make a satisfactory whole.

Adding to her suspicion was the fact that Nick didn't seem concerned that he had not seen Sara since the previous evening, even though she was under the same roof.

"Hey…and have you seen Grissom today?" asked a clueless Greg.

Warrick, however, was not so clueless.

He saw the set of Nick's jaw as he feigned a smile that didn't reach his eyes while he responded, "Grissom does his own thing," adding mentally, _and it better not be MY "thing", if Sara knows what's good for her._

Realizing these trained investigators were sniffing blood in these waters, Nick excused himself and made his way to the kitchen's phone, dialing a familiar number.

Meanwhile, Sara had emerged from Logan's study and at first glance Catherine's concerns about Sara were confirmed.

Rising almost immediately, the blonde scooped her arm inside Sara's, pulling her out from under the glare of the other men in the room.

"Come on, girlfriend…it's time for us to hit the hot tub…"

A half hour later, an inquisitive Catherine and non-responsive Sara were basking in the sheltered luxury of the in-ground hot tub located out the back of the ranch house.

It overlooked some of the most luscious green pastureland on the ranch, and just happened to be in direct eyesight of Gil's room.

He hadn't meant to stare at them, bikini clad, as they rested in the crystal clear warmth near the cabana.

But once he realized it was Sara, he couldn't pull his eyes away from her.

_She didn't even want to know what I had to say…that she could believe I would do something…ANYTHING…with Sofia…doesn't she know me at all?_

_Doesn't she love me enough to fight for us?_

_Doesn't she love me enough?_

_Doesn't she…love me…?_

He shut down his thoughts to steel himself against his emotions, and continued to stand there and love her from afar, moving away only when he noticed the change in the breeze, signaling time steering them towards evening – and the start of the bonfire.

--

That evening, Sara dressed to kill.

Her arms ached as she donned her butterfly necklace that Gil had sent her for a birthday right after they met in San Francisco.

It was a beautiful piece, not ostentatious like some of Lillian's pieces.

But it meant a lot to her, she thought as she closed the clasp.

He _means a lot to me…._

Passing up the proffered canapés and hors d'oeuvers, Sara walked around with a champagne flute idly seeking Nick's location so she could steer clear of him for a while.

She needed to speak to Gil.

Suddenly, there was applause and Sara turned to see a beaming Nick carrying a rather lavish bouquet of three dozen American Beauty roses that he had ordered earlier from the local florist.

He approached a stunned Sara, presented the roses while pulling her towards him.

Aloud he said, "Roses are red, speak the love in my head," making everyone "aw" and laugh.

Leaning in more, Sara wasn't sure if the thorns pressing into her abdomen were more painful than the lustful tone of his whispered comment, "before I get you in bed…"

Aware of her audience, Sara smiled weakly, becoming completely repulsed as Nick took her lips possessively to the cheers of the crowd.

Finally released from his grasp, Sara placed the back of her hand to her mouth, as Nick clutched her to his side and began to move them around to visit with their guests.

Nick chuckled and laughed, and Sara smiled but remained silent, feeling like stomping on the obscene floral display she was forced to cart around, feeling like a circus sideshow.

Sara's discomfort was not lost on Warrick.

Perhaps the only partier who really looked at Sara, he moved towards Nick and gently removed Sara from his embrace.

"Mind if I steal your girl for a while, man? We really haven't talked much since I got here."

Knowing that 'Ric and Sara were specially close friends, Nick eyed him cautiously before leaning over and kissing Sara's hair cooing, "Don't be too long, darlin'"

'Ric could feel Sara tense below his hand resting on her lower back.

As soon as they were inside the empty kitchen, Warrick watched Sara throw down the huge bouquet onto the empty table.

"Hey, hey…" he moved towards her, expecting an onslaught of tears.

But by now, Sara had no tears left.

She moved away from 'Ric, shutting him out as she was beginning to shut out everyone.

Moving over the liquor reserve in the pantry, Sara pulled out a bottle of vodka and began emptying it into a short, thin stemware until it was almost brimming with fluid.

She placed a hand on either side of the glass and Warrick expected her to sip a bit so that it wouldn't spill as she turned.

Instead, he was horrified to watch her grasp the glass and down it in one long gulp.

When she moved to repeat the effort, 'Ric was there in a heartbeat, grabbing both glass and bottle out of her hands.

"Hey! Sara! C'mon, girl. That's not going to help."

He moved towards her and took her hands.

"Talk to me, girl."

When she remained silent, "Sara…."

She refused to meet his concerned gaze as suddenly a short breeze engulfed them and Nick stood inside the open doorway.

"Everything alright, darlin'?" he asked, a bit too superficially for Warrick's taste.

"Yeah…yeah, we're cool," Warrick answered, picking up the glass and the vodka and placing them near the sink.

"I was just in the mood for something not champagne," he said lightly, wishing Sara to follow his lead.

"C'mon, Sara…we should be getting back to our guests," Nick said pointedly, and 'Ric had no choice but to leave them alone in the kitchen.

Walking outside, 'Ric shrugged and inhaled deeply.

_What's going on with you, girl? And where the hell is Grissom?_

Inside, Nick moved forward almost menacingly towards Sara who was backing up slowing away from him.

When her back hit something hard, for the first time she realized she had backed herself into the corner of the shadowy pantry.

"Nick," she said uncomfortably, the dizzying effects of the vodka rushing to her head as she had gulped it on an empty stomach.

"Now, darlin', just relax," Nick swooned as he claimed her lips again more forcefully than outside.

When his tongue demanded entrance, Sara wanted to scream.

In fact, in her tipsy state, she actually opened to her mouth to release a sound.

Instead, Nick probed her further, grazing his hands threateningly under her skirt while fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

"Hmmm…silk…" he breathed heavily, as Sara winced at the contact.

"Leave me alone, Nick! I mean it!"

"OOOhhh, feisty," he almost moaned as he slammed his lower body into hers, "just how I like you."

"Stop it, Nick!" Sara hissed as she pushed herself in vain off his chest.

"No can do, buttercup…besides…" he grinned evilly before possessing her mouth roughly.

"I guarantee you're gonna like it.."

He bent to kiss her again and this time when she turned away his lips hit her ear and his anger returned.

He let her keep her face turned as he increased the pressure of his embrace and his body pinning her to the wall.

"Alright, darlin'…I waited this long…I can wait one more day…"

He released his hold on her and forced her face roughly to face her.

"One more day…and then I _promise_ you, Sara…you won't refuse me _anymore_…"

With that, he pushed off her angrily and stormed out of the kitchen towards the family room.

--

Sara sat in the shadows of the pantry for a long while, regaining her composure.

Straightening herself as best she could without a mirror, Sara listened to the sounds of people enjoying themselves at a great party.

Knowing she had no choice but to return to the party, she moved out of the pantry to find the flowers mocking her from the kitchen table.

Feeling as if there was little left in her life that she could control, Sara smiled resignedly as she thought of one rebellious act that no one could prevent her from completing.

Sara moved towards the kitchen door that led outside and closed and locked it.

Moving swiftly to the doorway Nick had just exited, she closed and locked that door also.

Moving towards the table, Sara stopped at Cook's station and picked up a very large knife.

She felt a pang of guilt at the repercussions of her next actions, but she stood defiantly as she moved the blade flat out in front of her and then raised it over her head, making it come down in a crashing motion.

A tear fell from her eyes as she repeated the motion again and again.

Dropping the blade covered in red, Sara felt weak at her destructive behavior.

After a moment, she regained enough strength to lean over and scoop up a large armful of destroyed roses, swinging in halting movements until she stopped at the sink and released the fragrant mangled mess of thorns, petals, and leaves.

Sara turned on the water first before removing the trap and turning on the sink's garbage disposal, feeling some satisfaction at destroying this gaudy tribute from her bastard fiancé.

When the deed was completed, Sara smiled distractedly and moved towards the outside door as the sounds of the bonfire being lighted beckoned her eerily.

Catherine, who had been enjoying the free-flowing champagne way too much, saw Sara approach and pulled her towards the inferno.

Standing there with Catherine's arm around hers, Sara listened to the instruments, the people singing, and laughing.

The sounds of life.

But Sara was overcome by the feeling that life as she knew it was ending.

She had fought her whole childhood to escape from that hell.

And now, she was walking willingly back into it.

Suddenly, she needed to see Gil.

She needed to tell him everything.

She needed him to hold her, to love her, to protect her.

She didn't care about anything else right now.

She needed Gil…before Nick returned.

Looking around blankly, it suddenly struck her….where _was_ Nick?

--

While Sara was becoming aware that Nick was not at the bonfire, Emma Anne had been keeping herself occupied with keeping the dessert bar stocked.

This mindless activity caused her to again question all that her vision had taken in that morning.

Now, with more than twelve hours passed, she decided she couldn't wait.

She needed to speak to Gil.

The maid realized that in all she had heard today, Gil was never given an adequate chance to explain himself.

It had all been Sofia.

At that moment, as if waking from a long nap, Emma Anne looked around wondering…where _was_ Sofia?

Deciding to go check on the guest, to be sure she had not sustained any serious injury in her fall since the last time Emma Anne had seen her, the maid found herself slipping away into the kitchen.

The locked door leading towards the main hall caught Emma Anne's attention immediately, as did the knife with moist red rose petals covering it.

She moved the knife, and placed it in the sink which held a few leaves and some baby's breath blooms.

Wondering about this mystery, she shook her head and decided to unlock the door and make her way to the guest wing in a hurry.

--

Meanwhile, Gil had stood in his dimly lit room, watching the merriment outside.

He had stood motionless for over two hours, so deep in thought that initially he had not heard the noises coming from the next room.

Nick had stormed away from Sara and took the main stairs two at a time, until he wound his way through the shadowed labyrinth of hardwood floors and found himself in Sofia's hallway.

Without knocking, he had thrust the door open to find a half dressed Sofia preparing her dramatic late arrival at the party.

After twenty minutes or so of foreplay, Nick and Sofia were really going at it heatedly.

Sofia was moaning loudly, goading Nick to repeat movements that brought her pleasure.

There was smacking noises, grunts, and groans of ecstasy becoming louder and louder from her room.

Both inhabitants wrongly assumed they were alone in this wing.

Hearing Sofia's bedside clock smash into the floor during one acrobatic maneuver, Gil turned from the window, his CSI instincts coming to bear on his conclusion that Sofia was "entertaining a friend"…and he had a pretty good idea of who the friend was….

Livid, Gil paced furiously from his position at the bay window towards the door….

At the same time, Emma Anne could hear the moaning coming from Sofia's room as soon as she had reached the landing.

Almost embarrassed by the sound, this gentle soul moved closer to the doorway.

_Yes, someone is with her_, Emma Anne admitted.

_And…by the sounds of it…she's not that frightened, either…_her thoughts continued.

_I wonder…could it be that Sofia is in there with…_Dr. Grissom_?_

At that moment the door to Gil's room burst open and Emma Anne's surprised intake of breath would have easily been heard by Sofia if she herself was not making such an amazing amount of noise.

Gil slapped his hand over the maid's mouth and pulled her into his room, closing the door quietly.

They stood looking at each other for only a nanosecond, before Emma Anne could not bear to look at him any longer.

"Oh, sir…" she began, a tear slipping down her face.

Gil moved his hand to lift her chin.

Gazing into his waiting eyes, all Emma Anne could say again and again was, "I'm so sorry…"

He shook his head kindly as if to say, _it's alright…_

Listening to Nick's moaning, Emma Anne's eyes got larger as she now looked from the wall behind him then into Gil's eyes.

"It….it wasn't YOU, was it?"

Gil remained motionless, the same stance he used when he worked with rookie investigators and wanted them to piece together the puzzle for themselves.  
"It…it was NICK?"

"Sofia and NICK?"

Gil shrugged his shoulders in agreement, still silent.

"She…she said it was YOU…but…she just wanted to hurt you…NO!"

Horror struck the maid and she almost lost her balance as the truth assailed her roughly.

After a moment, she was shaking her head sadly, saying," No…she wanted to hurt you AND Sara…"

Gil's hands settled softly on her shaking shoulders as she looked so sorrowfully into his eyes.

"Gil," she said almost inaudibly, "what have I done? What have I done?"

"It's okay, Emma Anne," Gil said kindly, removing his hand and rubbing his hand over his eyes.

The relief of someone knowing the truth was always a welcomed breakthrough in case.

Truth, once uncorked, could never fully be restrained.

Now, however, Gil had some painful decisions to make.

He smiled again at Emma Anne as he moved towards the door in a move designed to ask her to leave.

She stood her ground a second more, than moved directly in front of him as he placed his hand on the doorknob.

"Gil…please…what can I do?" she asked mournfully.

"Take care of her…just…take care of her."

His cryptic message bothered her but his demeanor was asking her to leave, and she could find no reason to extend her presence.

Turning the handle silently, she was relieved that any sound of her departure would be muffled by the activity in the next room.

Glancing once more into his eyes as she hesitated at his door, Gil just smiled sadly and repeated his plea, "Just take care of her…for me…"

With that he silently closed the door.

She heard movement coming from Sofia's room and Emma Anne hightailed it out of the hallway, racing without sound down the hallway and down the stairs – not stopping until she was standing on the covered terrace outside the kitchen door.

Placing her hand over her erratically thumping heart, Emma Anne caught her breath and breathed a sigh of relief for not getting caught.

Several minutes later, she moved from the kitchen area and started making her way towards the bonfire intent on checking on Sara.

Before her lay the the sights and sounds of another successful Stokes Bonfire.

As she moved towards the happy crowd encircling the blaze, the cacophony of laughter, merriment, and crackling flames drowned out the sound of one lonely vehicle's engine starting in the darkness behind her.

--

When Emma Anne finally located Sara, she was standing off to the side of her friends, staring intently into the hypnotic flames.

As if sensing her approach, Sara turned in the maid's direction and her heart began beating wildly.

Without a word, Emma Anne had almost reached Sara when she lurched forward staring intently into the eyes of this maid who would be her friend.

"Sara…" she began, but the words failed her.

Suddenly overcome with nightmarish vibes, Sara darted past her racing towards the house.

She scaled the stairs leading towards the now-silent hallway and, reaching the door to Gil's room, didn't hesitate to push it open hoping to defeat the nagging dread that filled her.

She stood silently, her eyes scouring every inch of the now-empty room.

Moving swiftly towards this closet door setting slightly ajar, she flung it wide open to reveal an empty space.

Looking down, all that remained of his suitcase was a small depression in the soft dust settling from the open window nearby.

Stunned, Sara backed up in disbelief until her legs made contact with the fluffy comforter of his bed.

In shock, she sat down and stared at the empty closet until Emma Anne appeared at the door.

Taking in Sara's expression, the maid took in the clues before her guilt clarified the situation before her.

He was gone.

And Sara was left behind.

Not knowing the words to provide comfort, Emma Anne just backed out of the room, unsure of her next step.

Her glance fell downwards, and when she lifted her eyes they locked on the closed door of Sofia's room where this entire nightmare had begun.

Steeling herself in her resolve not to let Gil down a second time today, Emma Anne rushed downstairs, intent on finding Logan.

Meanwhile, Sara had smoothed her hands upwards towards his pillow and found herself resting her head just below, as if he were still there to comfort her.

Breathing in his scent, she slowly closed her eyes before the depths of her grief exploded, causing her to grip onto the pillow as if onto a lifeline as she sobbed, "Oh, Gil…"


	32. Chapter 32

A/N: Thanks for the wonderful reviews and reader support of the last chapter…this week marks the beginning of the second summer job going into effect and I find fewer hours to enjoy summer and update this story that I'll tell you is a labor of love…as I'm posting again on the fly, please note any errors are mine, bear with me and I'll fix them when there's time… Please consider this the first of two parts of the last countdown day… I hope to post the next chapter really soon…and then, on to the wedding day!...some reviewers continue to be concerned about the GSR…the two tell their story in their own time…but are faithful to the concept…hang in there…some major twists and turns ahead!...but for now…the clock is ticking….you all remain terrific!...hope this pleases!...-Kathy

--

"**You are cordially invited to Nick and Sara's Wedding in **_**one **_**day"**

--

Lillian opened her eyes right after dawn, already feeling the surge of her excitement over the dawning day's events.

She promised herself to relax and enjoy this final day before her favorite child's wedding.

Lillian had arranged for Nick and herself to head into town for a leisurely luncheon before picking up the tuxedoes and heading back for the late afternoon rehearsal with the minister.

She had left her daughters in charge of the phone calls, overseeing the caterers and florists who would come today to begin setting up for tomorrow's noontime nuptials, tracking the incoming onslaught of gift packages, cards, and well wisher's telegrams, and generally attending to their houseguests to get them to their appointments today with the hairdressers for discussions on tomorrow's coifs, seamstresses for final gown fittings, and florists for appraisals on their bouquets.

She closed her eyes and sighed, it was good to know that everyone was in position to allow herself to relax a bit and enjoy the festivities.

Her euphoria was short-lived, however as she began reaching over towards Logan's sleeping form – to find that he was not there.

Panicking slightly, she realized that there were no signs that Logan had even come to bed after the bonfire last night.

Flinging the covers haphazardly off her legs, Lillian donned her robe hastily and sped off towards Logan's study.

_If he thinks he is just going to lose himself in whatever this new project of his…_

She slowed as she realized his door was ajar, indicating that someone was indeed inside.

Lillian knocked quietly and swung the door to reveal Logan sitting behind his desk wearing the same outfit he had worn last night, sans the sport coat which was draped carelessly over the guest chair in the corner near the curtained bay window.

Logan at first did not acknowledge her presence, so involved in his own thoughts of the heated exchange with a houseguest just a few hours before…

--

After Emma Anne had informed Logan of Gil's departure and Sara's condition, he had immediately gone to Gil's room in search of her, but she was already gone.

Worried, he had called for Emma Anne to help him locate Sara, but she was not easily found.

Not wishing to alarm their guests, and privately hoping to find her before Lillian needed to become involved, Logan decided to circulate the party in search of any members of the CSI team.

Finding Warrick standing talking to Catherine, he approached them with what he hoped was a noncommittal tone, "Excuse me, but I wonder if you had seen Sara recently?"

Catherine woozily spun around, knowing she had been with Sara about three drinks ago.

But the question sent all the hairs on the back of Warrick's neck to stand on end.

He moved closer to Logan and almost whispered, "What's going on, judge?"

Looking him in the eye for the first time, he registered the concern and, _was that empathy?_, in 'Ric's glare.

Logan sighed and simply stated, "I wish I knew, son…I wish I knew…"

Turning a smiling gaze towards Catherine, Warrick excused himself and took Logan by the elbow, rushing him towards the house as inconspicuously as possible.

"We need to find Brass, _now_!" was all he said as he released Logan from his grip and fell into pace beside him.

Searching for Brass proved the correct route to find their treasure.

As the duo approached his room on the second floor guest suite, they found the detective exiting through the threshold, quietly closing his door, and turning towards the sound of their footsteps.

He motioned for them to remain on the landing. Warrick was first to notice the fire in his eyes.

"Have you seen Sara?" Logan anxiously began only to be stung by Brass' reply.

"_Seen_ her? I've just spent the last half hour trying to calm her down enough to finally get some rest! What the _hell_ were you thinking?" Brass ended angrily, his attempts to restrain himself becoming more obvious.

Warrick looked on, confused, but Logan understood and replied earnestly, "I was just thinking about Sara…the need to protect her was so-"

"_Protect _her? From _Grissom_?" Brass interrupted heatedly.

"Jim, you don't understand…when I heard-" Logan began again only to hear Brass' rising voice interrupt a second time.

"I don't give a _crap_ about what you heard…_you've_ been in the business long enough to know you go with the _evidence_, Logan…and _that man_ would lay down his _life_ before he would _ever _betray her that way!" Jim finished, his anger fueling his breathlessness.

Warrick remained silent as he tried to absorb the backstory to this little drama. He wasn't sure what exactly happened, but he sensed it had something to do with Nick and Grissom.

"How is she, Jim?" Logan inquired, worried that his lapse in judgment had hurt the young woman he was trying to protect.

"She's a mess…she's withdrawing again…man, I thought we were finally past seeing her hurt so much she climbed into herself, shutting out the pain…I thought he was going to make her happy…"

Logan wasn't sure which "he" Brass was referring to, but it was a moot point now.

"Geez, Logan…how the hell did things get so screwed up?"

Logan had been wondering the same thing.

He wanted to fix this.

No, he needed to fix things…for Sara …and for Gil….

He just hoped it wasn't too late.

Standing there confronted by Brass, Logan steeled his resolve.

Unless Sara could give him a really good reason for submitting to Nick's blackmail plot, he planned to expose the whole rotten business today and put an end to this sham of a marriage.

The three chatted for a while, deciding on their next course of action.

Warrick was going to return to the party to keep an eye out for Nick, to tell him that Sara had just retired for the evening if the question should arise.

Logan was going to begin making some calls gently inquiring if anyone had seen Gil since he left the ranch.

Brass was going to return to Sara's side, allowing her to sleep in his room tonight away from any disturbance.

--

Now Logan was face to face with a curious Lillian, who was trying valiantly to silence the voices of worry that were swelling around her.

"Is everything alright, dear?"

Logan smiled weakly and diverted her attention by replying, "Fine…what's your plan for today, Lil?"

Calmed by the fact that Logan had not disappeared, and happily back onto her favorite topic, she mentioned how she and Nick would be making the half hour drive to town, disclosing their plans for lunch and the formal wear pickup.

Glad to know he'd have a few hours to himself this afternoon, Logan pointedly ended the visit by rising and coming around to place a kiss on his happy wife's head.

Escorting her towards the dining room, he parted from her company at the bottom of the stairs stating his plans for a quick shower to start the day.

Having reached the second floor landing, however, he headed in the direction of the guest suites instead of his own bedroom.

Walking around the corner, he was surprised to come face-to-face with a startled Nick.

Once the surprise escaped his features, Nick's eyes slanted ominously.  
"Checking up on me, now, dad?" he said insolently, smiling as the judge's features hardened.

"What are you doing _here_, Nick?" Logan seethed, looking over his shoulder towards the hall that lead to Brass' room.

He worried that Nick had gone to visit Sara and had upset her further.

Following his father's gaze, the star criminalist put the pieces together handily, and cockily remarked, "I was just on my way to visit Brass."

In truth, if he had arrived just seconds earlier, Logan would have seen Sofia giving Nick a rather animated farewell before closing the door to her guest room.

Turning to head in Sara's direction, Nick body jerked as he was suddenly spun around and backed up into the wall painfully.

"_Leave her alone_, Nick. I'm _warning_ you!"

Shrugging off the restraining hands, Nick went toe-to-toe with his father as he spat angrily, "_You _are warning _me_?

Let me tell you something, _dad_, spend the rest of today enjoying your little macho protective act!

After tomorrow, you won't be seeing as much as a _hair _on _my wife's_ head!"

Before Logan could muster a reply, Nick pushed past him and headed towards the staircase that led into the dining room.

Not knowing how long he stood there, the judge could hear Lillian's happy welcoming of Nick "before his big day".

Logan stood there wondering how what should have been a happy event had turned so wrong.

Turning now, he continued towards Brass' door and knocked softly.

Brass stirred from his armchair resting place and met Logan's eyes as he entered the room.

Turning instinctively towards the bed where Sara had been sleeping, both men lurched forward as they realized she was no longer in the room.

In tandem, they turned and swiftly maneuvered the hallways until they reached her door.

--

Sara found herself sitting on the floor of her shower stall, her mind barely acknowledging the warming sprays cascading over her still form. Rivulets of water washing over open eyes, blending with the tears cascading unbidden over her cheeks.

He was gone.

He had left her.

_He hadn't even said goodbye…_

She tried to rationalize his actions.

He knew there was no way he could walk her down the aisle…_I wouldn't be able to bear it…._

He knew she would break under the strain of having to leave him, forever, in front of all those people… _My heart would physically break in two…._

He knew the shadow of the accusations against him had cast a pall over relationship…_But he knew I didn't believe the lies…didn't he??_

It was this last thought that ate away at Sara's stability.

_Had he left because…he thought…he thought I believed that story about him being with…Sofia?..._

Even the thought of the woman made Sara nauseous.

After all those years of flirting with Gil, of her suggestive innuendoes concerning their "relationship" whenever she was alone with Sara, after all the questionable conduct since she had arrived here…this was the final blow.

Sara Sidle was conceding defeat.

If Sofia's aim was to undermine Gil's burgeoning relationship with Sara, she could claim victory.

The water was turning cold as Sara's tears stopped falling.

Numb from the cold that was coating her skin as well as the cold that was forming around her heart, Sara stood shakily and turned the knobs to stop the water from assaulting her on the outside.

But she could do nothing to prevent the thoughts and memories from assaulting her on the inside.

Weakened from two days of little nourishment, Sara had to steady herself until her equilibrium returned and she could safely move from the confines of the en suite bathroom.

Moving slowly towards the dresser, she became alarmed by the pounding on her bedroom door.

Reacting in fear, she almost screamed, "_Leave me alone, Nick_! _Go away, leave me alone!_"

Now she was cowering in the corner of the room near the French doors, willing to escape onto the balcony even though she was barely covered, clad only in a bath towel she was gripping to her chest.

"Sara, honey," Logan called, realizing by her tone that they had frightened her.

"Hey, doll, it's just us. Please let us in, okay?" Brass joined in worriedly.

"Just- just a minute," Sara spoke, willing her heart to calm down.

She grabbed her long terrycloth robe and managed to secure it as she stood before the door.

For the first time, Sara was unsure whether she really wanted to admit these two men who had been so much more like fathers than she had ever known from her biological parent.

"I'm okay, really," she began, her hand gripping the doorknob.

"We know, honey, but we'd still like to talk to you," Logan added pointedly, wondering about her reluctance to admit them.

"Well, I'm just finished showering and I'm trying to be ready on time for our first appointment."

_Well, it's not a lie…Nick's sister _is _supposed to take Catherine and me to town later this morning for our appointments…_

"Sara, please…" Brass started, concern over her unwillingness to talk with them.

"Really, I- I need to finish getting ready. How about I talk with you in a little while...over some breakfast?" Sara spoke loudly, pulling away from the door.

She really had no idea if food would even stay down if she ate, her stomach was in knots, and her anxiety level was so high she felt as if she would fall into convulsions if failed to steel herself against her emotions.

Staring at each other, Logan placed a hand softly onto her door while debating what to do.

It was Brass' commanding voice that took control of the situation.

"Alright, doll. We'll be downstairs. Waiting for you. Please don't be too long."

With that, he gave Logan a glare and both men walked worriedly away from her doorstep.

Alone again, Sara moved towards the balcony.

She stepped near the edge where the wilting daisy still remained locked in the tenuous grip of the ivy encroaching upwards on the brick.

No emotion played across her face.

She stood remembering the last time she had been here, how Gil had saved her from falling to her sure and sudden death…

She remembered there had been no fear, no panic…just acceptance of her fate…

"…waiting for the pain…then the peace of release…" Sara whispered as she returned her gaze to the stone terrace below.

--

Gil sat glumly on a pressure formed plastic seat in the rural Texas airport.

After having left yesterday, he had driven to the Dew Drop Inn.

Downing several drinks in succession, Gil had to pry himself from his seat in the corner booth before exiting the tavern.

He had placed Logan's keys in an envelope with a note he had hastily penned.

Gil moved towards the Jeep and jerked slightly backwards as he removed his luggage which fell heavily onto the pavement at his feet.

With a slight hand tremor the only indication of his mood, he slipped the note under the driver's seat, and slammed the door with gusto.

Pausing to give a fleeting glance towards the vehicle and the Inn, Gil Grissom straightened himself and began wheeling his case downhill behind him as he headed towards the main street to hail a taxi.

Transportation to the airport cost him a pretty penny, but he was willing to spend a king's ransom to get him away from the source of his heartache.

_Why didn't she love me enough to fight for us?_

_Why didn't she love me enough?_

_Why didn't she…love me…?_

The sorrowful thoughts consumed him so completely, the driver had to shout his second announcement that they had arrived at the airport.

Lugging his heavy suitcase with an equally heavy heart, Gil proceeded through the brightly illumined walkway that led towards the ticket counters.

_This night just continues to get better and better_, he sighed as he positioned himself in a well-padded double seat in the corner of the waiting area.

Flights in and out of Vegas were grounded due to heavy fog conditions.

The return to a regular schedule depended on the duration of the inclement weather there, with heavy rains pelting the desert area, as was normal for this time of year.

Gil unpacked his CSI jacket and balled it up as a makeshift pillow behind him, closing his eyes tiredly.

Between the effects of the scotch and the trauma of the events of the last 24 hours, Gil fell quickly into a troubled slumber, unaware of the number of calls that Brass was leaving for him.

--

Brass had gone to the dining room to wait for Sara, but Logan had glanced at the clock and moved towards his office instead.

The day shift would now be on duty at the Sheriff's office, and his old and trusted friend Sheriff Charlie Dean would be in a position to help him search for Gil.

His position as judge always opened pathways for him, and almost immediately he was connected with Charlie who braced himself for something important as Logan began, "Charlie…I need your help…'

Sheriff Dean knew that Logan Stokes was the "go to" man when anyone needed a favor.

To have Logan call, well, Charlie knew "family" _must_ be involved.

"What do you need, Logan?" his friend said as he was closing the door to his office and began to jot down notes as soon as he was seated again.

In the meantime, Sara had surfaced in the dining room, grateful that so many of Nick's sisters were there to keep the conversation on the endless lists of "to do today", and not on her shaky hands.

Her tremors had returned, Sara hoping against hope to keep them out of the line of sight of the team of investigators all gathered around the table.

Her hopes were dashed when Warrick appeared suddenly alongside of her and asked, "Can I help you with that?"

Without looking, Sara nodded as Warrick removed the tea bag from Sara's grasp, allowing it to fall softly into the rose-adorned china cup.

Picking up the tea pot, he allowed the steaming water to pour into the cup, hitting its target and beginning the release of the tea leaves' flavorful secret.

Steeping the bag without speaking, Warrick squeezed it onto the back of the spoon and removed it from the cup before placing it onto the saucer.

Picking up the hot refreshment at the same time as grasping Sara's elbow, he moved them towards the table.

Warrick thought about all the times over the years that he had seen Grissom grasp Sara's elbow in similar fashion and lead her out of a room or away from a crime scene.

He wondered if she would remember, and worried slightly that the memory would be painful.

Actually, Sara was remembering Gil's caring gesture at this exact moment, and found a bit of comfort at the memory.

Sitting down now, Warrick placed the cup in front of Sara and moved the vacant chair closer to her before facing towards the rest of the group.

No one but Brass had kept an eye on the entire exchange, and when Warrick looked in his direction, he was taken aback by the wistful nod of gratitude Brass was sending his way.

_Something is definitely up here…I am going to have to corner Jim and demand the whole story…_

Warrick's plan would just have to wait as suddenly an excited Logan burst into the room.

Almost all eyes were on his tall figure looming in the doorway, all except Sara who had kept her eyes on her hands resting shakily in her lap.

"Brass…we have to go….into town for a while," Logan added quickly, noticing that his untimely interruption had caused great interest in his morning plans.

"Dad? Logan?" the voices were rivaling each other to be heard.

Only Nick glared at this father through narrowed eyes. _What is he up to?..._

Brass moved to leave and then suddenly turned his stride until he was standing next to Sara.

She moved her expressionless face towards him as he bent and kissed her on the forehead.

"I'll be back in a while. Warrick," he added pointedly ignoring an inquisitive Nick sitting at the opposite end of the table, "take care of Sara today, okay?"

Ric placed his hand on the back of Sara's chair in response, and Brass straightened and strode out of the room behind an impatient Logan.

Hearing the door slam, Catherine sighed and quipped that was their signal to get moving on the day.

Lillian and Nick moved around the table towards the main door to head towards town, and after they left Warrick grimaced that Nick had not even stopped to speak to Sara before he left.

The others had not noticed the omission as they rallied themselves into their respective tasks, leaving Catherine to shoot Sara a happy smile before leaving to gather her things to meet them their driver out front.

Sara rose silently to leave, before feeling the weight of Ric's hand on her arm.

"You haven't even touched your tea, Sara. You have time," he said gently.

Shaking her head, she replied softly, "Thanks, but I guess I'm just –"

Continuing to shake her head, she rose as he released his grasp and watched her leave, his concern mounting.

At the last minute, he decided maybe he would go with him.

Hurrying towards the door, Warrick was stopped by Greg's call to him.

By the time he let Greg in on his change of plans, he opened to the front door and found his shoulders slumping in disappointment.

Sara and Catherine's driver had already gone.

--

In town, the girls' first stop was for the final fitting of their gowns.

Catherine swooped down from the dressing suite in a glorious emerald silk sheath, bare shoulders enhancing her sweetheart neckline, fitted bodice trailing down to a princess gathered skirt overlaid with layers of feather light silk that swayed softly in the breeze even when standing completely still.

The seamstress was delighted at the way this model showed off her most recent creation, and told Catherine over and over again how she wished all her models were as perfectly proportioned as she was.

Catherine blushed at the complements. She was used to hearing about her "pleasing" body form, but mostly from men.

To have praise from a talented fashion designer was humbling, and gratifying.

Once Catherine was released as needing no alterations, it was Sara's turn.

The seamstress paced after the first five minutes of waiting, and truth be told, she was getting a bit impatient with this bride, who really didn't seemed all that enthused about the onset of her big day.

In the dressing room, Sara had refused the help of the dressers and assistants.

Locked away, she stood in front of the mirror in disbelief.

She had never thought anyone would want to marry her.

Now here she was with two men who were fighting over the right to claim her as their bride.

Sara fingered the delicate beading of the simple bodice which flowed down to a point bedecked with more jewels and lace…lace…and more lace…

She stared at herself now as if for the first time.

She saw the effects of her ordeal played out plainly in her face.

Uncaring, she had tossed her hair back in a loose ponytail and had worn no makeup.

Only her engagement ring adorned her unpainted fingers.

Sara continued to stare at this pitiful reflection of how miserably she had failed to live up to the "standard" of what a "happy bride' should be.

_Perhaps if I really fail to meet Nick's expectations, he will spit me out and refuse to marry me…_

That thought put the first small smile in two days on Sara's face.

The knocking on the dressing suite door brought Sara out of her reverie and she sighed as her dress moved her towards the door.

The attendant's initial reaction upon seeing Sara caused her to turn away, and Sara swallowed another sigh as she moved down the corridor towards the disapproving glare of the designer.

"What is the world-_WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY DRESS_!?" cried an agitated seamstress, the measuring tape around her neck being pulled tightly to express her disbelief.

" Dear girl, six weeks should not make that much difference in your body composition…see how it hangs, and the neckline…ugh, what is to be done?...it is almost an entire remake!-" she continued to speak, with employee's heads nodding in agreement around the room.

Catherine, herself just entering the hallway after exiting her suite, had been amused at the hubbub surrounding Sara's appearance, thinking how great it was that everyone was oooh-ing and aaah-ing over her.

Her forehead creased with concern as she neared and could finally hear what was being said.

Her hand flew to her mouth as she first gazed at Sara, who looked almost gaunt in a dress that by now was two sizes too big for her.

Catherine looked into Sara's eyes, and was aghast at the lack of emotional response to this crazy designer's barrage of insults.

"Stuff it, honey!" Catherine shouted as she strode purposefully towards Sara.

The room fell quiet as Sara felt herself buoyed by her friend's presence on the small fitting room stage.

"Listen, Sara has survived a lot in these last six weeks, so if your "precious design" needs to be refitted, I _strongly_ suggest you zip your lips and get to work…ALL of you!...start threading your needles _instead_ _of_ needling this bride!"

The effect was instantaneous.

Although unknown to them, this group of sewers knew when someone was in charge.

And an angry Catherine was _definitely_ now in charge of this outing!

The only sound in the room was quiet whispers of needing more pins or suggestions for placing more darts, etc.

The soft music of the stereo lulled them all into a calmer state, and Sara locked eyes on Catherine as she sent her a grateful smile in thanks.

Although Catherine was glad to see the workers concentrating on something other than chastising Sara, she was overcome by the unhealthy state of this soon-to-be-bride.

_What has happened to you, Sara?_ she mused as she decided to get some answers over lunch before they headed back to the ranch.

After Catherine had left the room to call for the driver to return for them, the seamstress stunned Sara by pulling her arm and smirking wickedly.

Face-to-face, she was determined to get the last word in, stating bluntly, "I will have this dress delivered to you by 8 a.m. tomorrow morning," and with a sneer added, "do you think you can keep from losing any more weight before then?"

Releasing her grip, the woman haughtily paraded out of the room with her entire entourage following, but not before raising their chins defiantly towards Sara.

Left alone in the large room, Sara turned towards the three-way mirror and glanced at her reflections in several directions before the nightmare of this fitting began to close in on her.

Running unseen down the hallway, she hurried into the dressing suite and managed to lock the door before falling into a heap, her hands over her eyes in an attempt to block out the hurt and humiliation.

Rocking herself slowly as she did when she was a child, Sara attempted to draw back into herself – her protective mode.

But there was nothing left of her shield, her armor.

She felt there was nothing left.

Her Harvard degree had helped her answer some seemingly unsolvable puzzles.

But the questions confronting her now really had _no_ solution.

_How could she marry Nick?_ … _How could she not?_

_Save herself? …or save Grissom?._

_Regretting a life without love?..._

_or winding up regretting a love without the life he was destined to live._

In the end, the choice remained irrefutably unchanged.

Sara rocked herself harder, no more tears left to fall, closing her eyes, imagining his arms protectively around her, soothing away her fears….as she tilted her head as if snuggled warmly against him, whispering, "Oh, Gil…"


	33. Chapter 33

A/N: Well, finally, here it is…the end of the countdown days…your patience is appreciated as once again I post on the fly…please bear with any typos and/or continuity problems…I promise to fix them later…just wanted to get this chapter posted, as it was burning a hole in my psyche the last few days…your reviews and reader support has been amazing, and I thank you humbly for them…a quick "welcome back" shout out to jenstog, who I hope will have gotten her Internet back in time to read both chapters for countdown day one…the wedding day is next…thrills and chills all around…hope this pleases…these two tell an amazing tale…more as soon as I can…you're terrific, all of you!...-Kathy

--

"**You are cordially invited to Nick and Sara's Wedding in **_**one **_**day"**

--

His eyelids were closed, and his mind was focused on the vision playing out behind them.

As clearly as if she stood before him, Gil watched helplessly as Sara ran frantically through the densely wooded area, her entire venue smothered with the hovering haze of an early morning fog.

She was calling for him as she moved haphazardly from maple to oak.

As often happens in nightmarish dreams, Gil tried to answer but found himself mute despite his Herculean efforts to call out to the person who owned his heart.

Horrified, he watched her frenzied search cease abruptly as she stumbled painfully over a labyrinth of exposed tree roots.

She made no effort to regain her footing, but remained on her knees, hugging herself tightly for consolation, but her efforts were in vain.

Gil tried again and again to reach for her, trying to shout her name – both efforts failing him in his present state.

His eyes shed unbidden tears, watching as she pressed her arms tighter around herself for comfort, as she tilted her head as if snuggled warmly against him, whispering, "Oh, Gil…please, Gil…"

Gil wrestled with the bonds of inaction within which sleep had ensnared him as he tried again and again to call for her, "Sara!.._Sara_!..._SARA_!"

"SARA!" he heard himself exclaim as he flung his eyes open and came face to face with the badge on the police officer's shirt that now hovered over him.

Jerking himself to a sitting position, Gil quickly sat up from his reclining position and covered his face with shaking hands, moving them first in a brisk motion to clear his tear stained cheeks and then to rake through his disheveled curls.

All the while, he was becoming aware that the officer was speaking to him.

"Dr. Grissom? Sir?"

Gil became aware that the officer was now waiting for a reply to his spoken question.

"I-I'm sorry…officer…uh…could you please…uh…" he stammered as he continued to stare off into space, somehow knowing he looked like a complete idiot, but he continued having problems shaking off the dreamy image of a brokenhearted Sara.

The office looked around as if to see what had caught Gil's gaze, then scrunched his eyebrows slightly before asking, "You _are_ Dr. Gil Grissom, are you not?"

At this moment, he wished he could answer in the negative, as he began to take better notice of his surroundings which had changed dramatically since he had fallen into a disturbed sleep several hours ago.

How long _had_ he been asleep?

Gil had noted the time after the taxi driver's impatience with this distracted passenger caused him to snap a glance at his watch to see it was almost 4 a.m. He left the driver in better spirits, noting that the obscenely large amount he added to his fare seemed to do the trick.

Recalling that the 6 a.m. flight to Vegas had been cancelled due to the foggy and rainy conditions there, Gil estimated his rest period began around 5 a.m.

It startled him to see the large digital clock over the ticket counter currently read 1 p.m.

He sat pensively, trying to imagine what could have made him sleep through the now frenetic hustle and bustle of passengers arriving to meet loved ones, to argue with ticket agents about the delays…and now to stare at this gray haired night supervisor who had become the target of a police officer's attentions.

That thought brought him squarely back to reality as he jumped to his feet to move his back towards the interested patrons.

"Ah….yes…yes, officer, I am Gil Grissom. H-How may I help you?"

The tone and body language of the younger man spoke of his experience on the job – and they brokered no room for argument.

"Come with me, please, sir."

Moving towards the side, the policeman pulled himself to his full height, and waited patiently for Gil to react. When his confusion left him immobile, the officer moved towards him slowly but with clear intent, "_Now_, Dr. Grissom."

Trying to imagine what harm sleeping in an airport had done, Gil wracked his brain to recall seeing any postings that would have discouraged resting in a public place.

_Perhaps I should have bought a ticket…in some respects, resting without one _could_ be interpreted as trespassing…_his mind rambled while his feet followed the officer's lead.

Had he been fully awake, he might have questioned how the officer knew his full name.

But as he was just beginning to pull himself together, Gil continued to dwell on the fact that he was following this policeman because he had slept so long in the terminal.

He was just starting to get a grip on this reality when his escort stopped before the marked "Homeland Security Office".

The officer opened the door and stepped back to allow Gil to enter. There was a simple wooden table with a chair on one side and two on the other. The room had nondescript wooden paneling on two full walls and on the half wall that had the doorway carved into it, along with a large mirrored surface covering more than half of the remaining wall.

It reminded him of the interrogation room back at the lab, and at first Gil relaxed in this familiar setting.

--

Although he was a man with many contacts, Logan Stokes was not in the habit of calling on the many favors owed him.

Today, he had pulled in a great many favors.

Having traveled with Brass to police headquarters in town, it took the Sheriff a matter of three calls to set up surveillance at the local bus depots and airports to locate Grissom.

The airport's security officer was instructed to keep his eye on the napping runaway until a uniformed officer would arrive to take him to interrogation.

The security office had offered the Homeland Security room, complete with intercom and two-way mirrored wall, so that the questioning could be monitored in private.

Logan had decided to observe Brass as he talked with Gil.

Though he had listened to Emma Anne's reasons for changing her interpretation of the events she had witnessed, his questioning nature needing more conclusive proof that indeed Gil had not betrayed Sara, that his leaving was meant to spare her and not hurt her.

As Brass left to play out the prearranged scenario, Logan prayed silently that Gil _was_ the man that would prove himself worthy of his darling Sara's love.

--

Once Gil had been seated, the officer closed the door and Grissom could see him standing guard outside of it.

This action made Gil sit up and take in his surroundings with the careful attention he lavished on his experiments.

Knowing the glass could possibly function as a two-way mirror, Gil forced himself to remain calm and leaned back slightly as he acknowledged the possibility someone was already watching him.

But for the life of him, he couldn't imagine what he could have done to warrant detention in such a facility, under armed guard no less.

His answer came in the form of two slight raps on the door before it opened to reveal a sullen Brass.

"Jim," Gil started as he moved to stand, startled to find Brass involved in this situation,

"…wha- …how?..._why?_"

"How'd I find you? Well, that's the easy part."

Brass flashed his LVPD badge and smiled mirthlessly.

"Yeah," he added with a small chuckle, "when you have one of these, it opens doors around the country. _Don't leave home without it!"_ he finished with his hands creating imaginary quotation marks in space.

Gil started to fume, "What the hell-", but he was cut off as Brass continued speaking.

"The _why_… now that's _another_ easy one."

Jim kept talking, all the while making intimidating steps towards a now flustered Grissom whose only outward indication he was listening was that he sat down fully as Brass now hovered over him.

Gil remained quiet and stared at his hands that were clenched in a nonchalant fashion, not looking at Brass who had begun pacing behind him, stopping to emphasize his point by pushing his face directly in front of Gil's.

"I came to kick your _butt!_"

When he received no response from his attempts to rile his friend, Brass tried a different tactic.

He pushed himself off the table in a disgusted manner and raked his hands through his hair while muttering loudly,

"Geez, Gil…_SOFIA?_"

Before Brass could continue, he was shocked into silence by Gil's actions.

Upon realizing that his best friend had joined the ranks of those who would believe the insinuations that ultimately caused him to leave the ranch without even the chance to say goodbye to the woman he loved more than life, something inside him just snapped.

He left to _protect _her, even though his efforts to do what was right for Sara had cost him everything.

_He left_ because he didn't want to bring Sara additional pain.

_He left_ because he didn't want to give Sofia more ammunition with which to hurt Sara any further.

_He left_ because he didn't want to see that look in Sara's eyes ever again…the one that said his betrayal had hurt her, deeply.

Now, faced with enduring the eternal heartache his decision to leave had caused him, Gil had no stomach left to endure the slander Brass was about to throw in his face.

"You don't know _anything_ about it, Jim! Everyone _assumes _they know the _truth_, and they _DON'T!_"

As if to add proper emphasis to that final word, Gil picked up the chair he had been sitting in and tossed it angrily towards the mirrored wall, watching the wooden seat splinter and fall broken to the floor below.

Brass was speechless, watching the explosive temper he had always suspected rested below Gil's calm exterior.

He watched his friend release his anguish and could only stand by silently, feeling helpless to end his grief.

Glaring at the fragments of wood piled haphazardly in front of him, Gil's anger left him as quickly as it had forced itself upon him.

He stood immobile, commenting internally how the shattered chair so aptly mirrored his shattered life.

Gil moved in front of Brass and not for the first time today felt himself breathing deep to keep back the tears he felt stabbing behind his eyelids.

"What about what Emma-" Brass began, backpedaling a bit so as not to incur Grissom's wrath on his own person.

"Emma Anne is not to blame here!" Gil spat out, spinning around and putting both hands over his tired face.

Brass waited for Gil to continue, and after a moment he spoke softly.

"She was behind me, curious as to why I was in Sofia's doorway. That little…" he closed his eyes softly and inhaled deeply,"…let's just say Sofia is a good actress."

"And the kiss?" Brass asked in full investigator tone, moving so that his back was to the mirrored wall, knowing he had a reason for risking Gil's anger.

But there was no fight left in Grissom.

He turned towards his friend and shook his head with downcast eyes.

"She kissed _me_, Jim. I-I pushed at her arms, to get her off me…she was not stable on her feet after she lunged at me. She fell backwards. Must have seen Emma there. Went into her act."

He shuddered visibly before he continued softly.

"It's like a nightmare. Logan…of _course_ he believed Emma Anne. He trusts her. He just wanted to protect Sara."

Gil smiled wryly. "And I can so relate to that feeling."

Moving towards the other chair, he sat down wearily before continuing.

Refusing to look at Brass, Gil lowered his head and flexed his hands while adding, "That's why I left, Jim."

"Sara feels I betrayed her. I can't even get near her to explain."

He hung his head as he added in an unbelieving tone, "She actually thinks that I could _do _that to her..."

He looked up mournfully into the blank countenance of his friend.

"How could she think I would do that to her? I _love_ her."

Gil gulped strongly, holding in the emotional response that threatened to erupt.

Directing his glance past Brass' shoulder, he added thoughtfully, "I'd give _my life_ for her."

He put his head in his hands and whispered, "And that's what I _have_ done.

I've given up any chance to convince her that _I _need to be with her, so she can go through with this wedding without the worry about dealing with me, and _this situation_, any longer."

There was an uncomfortable silence in the room that lasted a few more seconds before Gil let out a deep breath through his puckered lips.

Brass began to speak without having moved from his spot near the mirrored wall.

"Don't you think you should give Sara the chance to at least tell you goodbye?"

Gil chuckled softly, before gathering himself up on feet and leaning over the table angrily.

"What the hell do I have to do, Brass? Use words of one syllable to get you to understand this?

SARA DOES NOT _WANT ME_!!"

He choked on the last two words, but defiantly refused to relinquish the hold his gaze had on Brass.

In a quieter tone, he added, "She _wants_ to marry _Nick_. It's her _choice_, free and clear."

At that, the door flung open and Logan's presence filled the room as he spoke calmly.

"Well, Gil, I'm going to have to disagree with you there…"

--

The florists were putting the finishing touches on the large open-air canopy where their vows would be exchanged..

There was a rolled carpet of heavily embroidered white lace in a line leading from the under breezeway that was flanked with twin trellises covered with pink and red roses.

Nick stood next to Warrick, chatting amiably with his friend as the organist was setting up the order of music for the pre-nuptial entertainment.

Catherine was talking to Greg who would serve as usher/ring bearer, therefore not needing to escort a bridesmaid down the aisle.

Sofia pouted slightly in the corner, enjoying the attention that brought her from Nick's youngest sister who had been left in charge of securing the guest's happiness during the rehearsal.

Brass and Logan were noticeably absent, but an emotional plea to Lillian had hit home and she made sincere efforts to not be upset with her husband as he had _promised_ to be home for their family supper which would be served around the fireplace in the family room around seven.

After all, life as a judge's wife had taught her that Logan often faced duties that required him to sacrifice family time.

She also knew he was fiercely loyal to his family and had always made them a priority.

Therefore, whatever it was that took him away from this rehearsal _must _have been of _major_ importance… and she would just have to relax and deal with the rehearsal on her own.

No one had noticed Sara's absence from the terrace. While everyone had gathered around, the actual late afternoon rehearsal was not scheduled to start until the minister's arrival.

Emma Anne had promised to fetch her when that occurred.

They had sat on the edge of her bed earlier, Emma trying again to convince Sara to forgive her for making such a wrong assumption about Gil's involvement with Sofia.

She couldn't bring herself to divulge Nick's suspected indiscretions with Sofia.

No, she had made a wrong assumption once, and did not fancy doing it again.

Still, the maid wondered if Sara would call off this wedding if she knew what Emma Anne suspected.

Sara had surprised Emma by giving her a spontaneous hug, reminding her that there was nothing to forgive.

She had told her she understood and she was fine.

But Emma Anne had joined the throng of close knit friends and family who understood that when Sara said "fine" she was anything _but_.

Now, Sara stood alone on the balcony on the opposite side of the ranchhouse.

She did not move a muscle, concentrating on the vast greenery that created the hills and valleys of this beautiful landscape.

She hurt.

Somehow, Sara had managed to pull so far into herself that even the shards of her protective walls were now enough to keep her from falling apart.

_Less than 24 hours…one more day…_

"_One more day…and then I _promise_ you, Sara…you won't refuse me anymore…"_

Sara's hand flew to her mouth, the bile forcing its way upward.  
She moved rapidly towards the bathroom when the sharp rapping on her door stopped her forward movement to a halt.

She was trembling uncontrollably at the thought of Nick on the other side of the door.

Silently she stood there until the rapping continued again, and she relaxed visibly as she heard Emma Anne calling her to say the minister had arrived.

She answered briefly and finished racing to the bathroom.

Having cleaned up a bit from being sick, Sara made herself look presentable and moved quietly down the large staircase and out of the house onto the terrace where everyone was anxiously awaiting the beginning of the rehearsal.

Sara stood alone, and not for the first time today did she miss Gil's presence.

She had not spoken to him since their brief encounter in Logan's office yesterday.

Her head spun at the vivid memory of seeing his abandoned bedroom.

_Abandoned…_

Yes, she was.

And now, she was left here alone. With Nick.

_Look at him. Standing there as jovial as can be. He said once he loved me. Perhaps he does. _

_But it's a selfish type of love. It's the kind that hurts others to gain what you selfishly desire. _

_It isn't the type of "happily ever after" love._

_No, that kind of love only happens once in a lifetime._

_And some people never get to experience that kind of love._

_But I did. _

_And now it's gone._

_But that kind of love lives on even when distance and circumstance try to decimate it._

_Yes, that kind of love lives on…in your heart… forever…… … forever…_

"What is_ that_?" Catherine asked a stunned Sara, who hadn't realized her matron of honor was approaching.

"What is what?" Sara asked blankly, unsure of whether Catherine had figured out what Sara was thinking about.

"What you were doing there with your hands," Catherine said, looking deeply into Sara's eyes to see if she was really as alright as she insisted after this morning's hasty retreat from the bridal shop.

Sara realized to her horror that she had been signing the word "forever" just as she had that night Gil saw Nick hugging her in the family room.

Sara shook her hands as if her fingers were on fire.

"Oh, uh, nothing. Just a nervous habit."

Catherine nodded and looked away, thinking that is must be a new habit as she had never seen Sara flex her fingers like that before.

Nick had stood twirling the end of a canopy ribbon around his fingers, watching the girls chatting together, focusing on Sara as she fidgeted under Catherine's scrutiny.

He sighed quietly realizing that in less than 24 hours, she would belong to him.

And only him.

Nick thought about the change in their relationship since Sara's accident.

He knew if the stress of the event had been a lot for her to handle.

He smiled as he thought of the way they used to cuddle under the blankets at his apartment, kissing heatedly while popping corn in the fireplace and then Sara's screech of laughter as they realized it was burning.

Nick realized he was still burning for the return of that girl who wanted only him.

He thought about what their life was going to be like.

Once he slipped that ring onto her finger, he knew things would only get better.

That her funny smirk, the one she donned when she was teasing or being facetious, the one that made him want to pull her close and kiss her until there were no tomorrows, that funny smirk would forever belong _only to him_.

And every guy at the lab would know she was his.

And he would take on any and all who would try to gain her attentions.

_Nick Stokes knew how to protect what was his._

The tingling in his index finger made Nick realize he had clenched the ribbon so tightly that it had pulled completely off the decorative display and was wound so tightly around his hand that he had temporarily cut off circulation to his fingertips.

Releasing the offending item and dashing it to the ground, he looked around a bit sheepishly, glad to discover that no one had paid attention to his actions.

_24 hours, Sara…_

The minister called them all to order, and everyone settled in place.

Sara covered her nervousness by clasping her hands tightly.

She knew Nick was trying to catch her attention, but right then she was unable to look in his direction.

Her trembling was increasing as the minister was questioning who would give the bride away.

All eyes were on her: Catherine giving her a sad look, Warrick narrowing his eyes as he frowned a bit at Nick's almost gleeful look, Lillian rolling her eyes as she realized that Gil had once again created problems for this event, even Emma Anne's doleful expression caused Sara to hide her hands behind her back as they shook uncontrollably.

Sara spoke softly, "I-I intend to give myself away."

There was a sad irony in this admission. She _was_, in fact, giving herself away – to protect the man she loved.

Nick began to protest sweetly, "Oh, buttercup, that's not necessary! I'll just get-"

He was shocked into silence by Sara's fitful interruption.

"NO, Nick!"

He fumed internally as he let no emotion cross his face.

Smiling to relieve the tension, he turned towards the minister and uttered a perfunctory explanation about Sara being high strung.

The ministered smiled in reply.

_Yes, he had seen young women like this before._

_This young lady was lucky to be marrying such an understanding young man._

Nick made a mental note to get Sara alone as soon as possible to deal with his embarrassment about her outburst.

The rehearsal proceeded without further incident.

Warrick thought Catherine was absolutely glowing as she walked ahead of Sara down the aisle.

Sara looked forward almost unseeing as her mind supplied images of Gil waiting at the altar for her.

The minister was happy to see that faraway smile on Sara's face as she approached.

_She must love him very much_, he thought_._

Instructions were given and Sara went through the motions on autopilot.

When it came to rehearsing the giving of the rings, Greg handed his package to Nick but kept his gaze on Sara.

_She must be very nervous. She's doing that thing with her eyes…_

Greg had watched Sara work on several horrific crime scenes, and had learned many different coping techniques from her.

He had asked her about the "eye thing", and Sara had told him when the situation she is in is too unbearable, she puts herself mentally in a calmer, better place.

"_It helps me endure things I otherwise wouldn't be able to handle,"_ he remembered her saying in her matter-of-fact tone.

Nick was watching Sara the whole time, even though he knew she was keeping to herself throughout the rehearsal.

He admitted to himself at that moment that perhaps he had handled some situations poorly, and perhaps even could admit that he should have been content to wait until their wedding night instead of pressuring her for the intimacy she obviously hadn't wanted at the time.

But on many levels, Nick really did love Sara, as much as he could love anyone.

There had been many girls, especially during senior year in college when he was a BMOC.

But none of the girls, then or in the years since, had captured his heart and his imagination like Sara.

His heart would yearn to reach out to her during her struggles to win Grissom's affections all those years.

But when she finally gave up, he made sure he was there to pick up the pieces.

And he'd be _damned _if he was now going to let Grissom have even one piece of _his _Sara.

He shook his head to clear it as he realized the minister was waiting for a reply to his question.

Nick laughed and pulled Sara into a tight embrace before turning them towards the minister to say he had been so swept up in this vision of his future wife that he completely forgot the question.

The minister laughed and Lillian and his sisters swooned.

Sara remained stoic, while Warrick kept his eye on her reaction and worried.

--

Gil looked out the window of the town car.

Logan kept his eye on him while Brass took a deep breath and wished this limo came equipped with an open bar.

The revelation hadn't been pretty.

Logan almost shuddered at the violent reaction Gil had upon hearing the details of Nick's ultimatum to Sara.

Brass had never seen Gil so angry, and he himself was shocked beyond belief that one individual would do that to someone they professed to love.

_Just when you think you've heard it all._

Initially, Logan had asked Gil to sit down, but he was having none of it.

"Something is going on here. Tell me. NOW!" he barked and Logan steeled himself before plunging right into the truth.

Gil's silence threatened both Brass and Logan.

They had seen this mild-mannered intellectual handle many situations – but when it came to Sara, Gil became a canister of TNT with the world's shortest fuse.

He had turned away from them, willing his heartbeat to settle from its galloping pace.

But the more he tried to calm himself, the more irate he became.

_He threatened her. She tried to save me. She only wanted to save…me._

Without thinking, Gil had picked up his current seat and sailed it across the room until it also landed in the wooden burial ground.

Brass reached him before he moved to grab the final chair, grabbing him gruffly by the shirt, and yelling, "Gil…not like this…GIL!"

His final call went unheeded as Gil marched menacingly towards Logan.

"You _KNEW_! You _KNEW_ she was going through this alone…and you said _NOTHING_!"

By now, Gil had Logan by the lapels and was threatening to lift him up and dash him against the wall, half wishing that, like the chairs, Logan himself would disintegrate before his seething glare.

To his credit, Logan stood there unmoving.

When he finally could speak, Logan looked straight into Gil's eyes and said, "I'm sorry, Gil. I'm so sorry."

Something in the sorrowing tone caused Gil to snap out of his angry tantrum.

He immediately released Logan, turning away self-consciously that they had seen him so out of control.

It wasn't until Logan placed his hand on Gil's shoulder that he turned to acknowledge that there was more that needed to be said.

"Have a sit, Gil, please…" Logan began and waited until he was seated before perching himself on the far edge of the table.

Suddenly, Gil was on his feet.

He needed to see Sara. _Now_.

As if reading his mind, Logan shook his head sadly.

"Gil, she won't see you."

His blue eyes flashed angrily in response, but Logan was not to be deterred.

"Believe me. We've tried. She won't talk to either of us," he continued, staring at Brass to bring him into the conversation.

Brass nodded quickly, adding, "Believe me, buddy, I was with her all last night. She's strung tighter than a kite."

Logan nodded, "Even this morning, she's completely withdrawn."

Within the silence that followed that remark, the judge added softly, "She has me worried."

Brass nodded as Gil's eyes snapped to Logan as he forced out, "What's to be done?"

He wasn't giving up.

He would never give up.

He didn't give a damn about his job, it wasn't his life.

Not any more.

He was tired of coming home to an empty bed where the only time he felt love, and made love to the only love of his life was in his dreams.

He needed to live.

He needed to love.

He needed Sara.

And he wasn't going to stop until he made her his wife.

…_forever…_

At the memory of her signing that solitary word, Gil firmed his resolve and asked his question again with a boldness that caught both Brass and Logan by surprise.

"What's to be done?"

While Brass could only look from one man to the other, Gil spread his hands on the table to steady himself as Logan smiled and started with a gleam in his eye, "Gentlemen, there is _much_ to be done…"

--

The caterer's were busy setting up for the family dinner as family and the wedding party were chatting over drinks on the patio.

Lillian had insisted on Nick going to the stables to personally invite Billy to dine with the family. She had been surprised at his lack of interest in the entire wedding idea, after all he had known Nicky since he was a baby and had always seemed so fond of him.

With Nick occupied, Sara took advantage of the break from his scrutinizing her every move and wandered away from the gaiety to move out into the terrace area where most of the preliminary work had been completed.

Indeed, the scenic area had been transformed into what Lillian had described as "every bride's dreamscape".

But there would be no dream wedding for this bride.

Sara sat in the last row of comfortable high backed guest chairs as her gaze fell onto the canopy under which "from this day forward" she would profess her vows.

Steeling herself from the panic that was rising inside her, several times Sara repeated her mantra that "she loved him enough to do anything"...before hiding her head in her hands as she moaned painfully, "Oh, Gil..."


	34. Chapter 34

A/N: Shout out to sunshine43 for the quick reminder that saved the signature ending of the last chapter…as I have said many times, you people are just terrific!...Please accept this unbeta'd offering as a short installment on the rest of the chapter which I hope to publish by tomorrow morning…(welcome back to jenstog, who is going to kill me for this cliffhanger…:)…I considered waiting, but I am too anxious to move on with this story, so I will ask you to consider this the first of two sections of the wedding day…and not to shoot the messenger…remember, you are all veteran CSI-fans …the evidence doesn't lie…so keep your eyes open, and DON'T PANIC…to my dear reviewers and readers, you are amazingly terrific…more just as soon as I can…thanks for the support of this story…- Kathy

--

"**You are cordially invited to Nick and Sara's Wedding Day"**

"**Nuptials begin at Noon"**

--

Sara had been standing on her balcony since the wee hours of the morning.

The fragrant scent of yesterday's newly-mowed grass blended with the honeysuckle bursting to life on the vines encircling her veranda.

The brilliant blanket of celestial lights had dimmed to morph into a warm cascade of multiple hues that heralded the arrival of the gift of a new day.

But Sara was oblivious to the changing face of the heavens.

She was deep in thought, her body merely a hiding place for the swirling sea of her emotions.

--

Last night's family dinner left her feeling empty, and unsure of how she would cope with the reality of this marriage to Nick.

With the majority of the family and friends enjoying drinks on the terrace, he had cornered her in the family room to lodge his "displeasure" over the "tone" with which she had spoken to him during rehearsal in front of the others.

Sara had closed her eyes, not having the strength to endure his nasty barrage, and had moved to walk away.

It was then that it happened.

Nick had grabbed her by the upper shoulder, shaking her violently, and gripping her so forcefully that despite her best attempts to remain calm she had whimpered in pain.

At that, he released her but kept her fixed in his gaze.

"Now…we understand each other, hmm?" he spoke menacingly, before moving to take her elbow and pushing her along to join the others.

Grabbing a champagne flute for both of them, Nick had just smiled and handed her the drink as lovingly as could be, clandestinely sending her a glare that meant "Act like nothing happened."

Sara had donned a weak smile and followed Nick obediently around until dinner was called.

Logan had returned too late to join the family for cocktails, but had arrived just as they were moving towards the resplendent dinner area.

When asked, he told Lillian that Brass was a bit worn out from their "business" and had chosen to go directly to turn in for the night, bidding them all a good evening and with excited expectations for tomorrow's festivities.

His genuine smile seemed to ward off any further questions, and Logan was glad when Lillian turned and engaged Nick in conversation.

Logan was desperate to get Sara alone, but when he finally laid his eyes on her smiling, sociable, well dressed form, he winced at the emptiness of her eyes.

Moving towards her, Sara turned purposefully and sprinted towards Warrick to engage him in conversation, placing her back towards Logan.

Sara was determined to keep her distance from this man she adored so as to steel herself against anyone's attempt to change her mind about this marriage.

She loved Gil.

She loved him more than life itself…even her future life…even if it meant living without him.

Logan was surprised by her actions, but decided this was not the time or place anyway to discuss the important matters that needed to be brought out in private conversation with her.

So while the family chatted with each other, and the team chatted amongst themselves merrily, everyone was too preoccupied to notice the interplay of glances that were volleying around them. From his seat at the head of the extended table, Logan kept his attention riveted on Sara, who kept her eyes diverted except for an occasional exchange of looks with Nick who was seated across from her, as he monitored the amount of time and the content of her conversations with Catherine and Greg seated beside her.

All too soon, dessert dishes were being cleared and Sara finally had a chance to break away from the group, declining coffee and wishing to "retire early".

With the others agreeing to have tea or brandy on the terrace before retiring, Logan felt this would be a perfect time to get Sara alone.

But Nick had other ideas.

As Sara began to ascend the stairs, Nick grabbed her from behind and spun her around to place a passionate kiss on her trembling lips.

He had intended to take this private time to the next step, and so was again angered by Logan's voice coming from the nearby doorway.  
"I'm sorry, Nick…but I wish to speak to Sara, if you don't mind…"

Fuming, Nick ignored his father's overture and pointedly took Sara's hand to lead her upwards, one step at a time.

When he felt a little resistance, he clandestinely squeezed her hand harshly as if to remind her of their earlier confrontation.

Fearing Nick was on the verge of another outburst, and worried about Logan's reaction to it, Sara began to follow her fiancé without comment.

"Nick!" his father said as he darted towards them.

Sara looked towards Logan and saw a man conflicted with worry, anger, and …_was that guilt?_

She stopped and with some difficulty reclaimed her hand from Nick's grasp.

Moving down a step towards him, Logan and Sara were now standing eye to eye.

"It's okay…really, dad," she smiled at him, the contentment not reaching her eyes.

"Sara," Logan breathed out and moved to place his hand on the seam where the sleeveless armhole was covered with a short, opaque cap sleeve.

Without moving a muscle to disclose her discomfort to Nick's burning glaze, Sara did wince slightly as Logan placed his hand reassuringly over the already formed black and blue mark, now hidden by fabric, which had been created by Nick's actions.

Logan did not at first understand the nature of her discomfort, after all his hand had barely made contact.

Stealthily, he grazed his pinky to dislodge the cap sleeve momentarily as his arm returned to his size, his gaze now burning with disgust over the hand print bruising already darkening on her person.

Refusing to meet his gaze, she suddenly was reminded of a comment she had made to a CSI lab tech bringing her files containing photos of domestic abuse victims. The tech had commented on the dramatic reduction in numbers of these files in recent years.

Sara had retorted that "new laws governing reporting of abuse have just made men hit smarter".

She knew that Nick was aware of this trend also, and had to hand it to him that the bruising he caused would not show under the cap sleeved bodice of her wedding gown.

Sara turned away from Logan and followed Nick up the stairs, not caring that he was angered when she refused to take his hand.

Logan's first impulse was to follow them and pull Sara away from Nick, but he tempered his urge with the knowledge that, if all went well, he would lose this battle but win the war…

--

With the morning sun now firmly settled into place amide a cloudless early summer sky, Sara remained deep in thought as she kept reliving Nick's tirade upon arriving at her room…

_He had opened the door for her and then moved to enter, but Sara flatly refused to admit him._

_She could see his temper rising, but kept her ground._

_When he refused to leave, she ducked expertly and wound up clear of him standing in the middle of the hallway._

"_One of us is not going into that room tonight, Nick," Sara spoke evenly._

_Nick knew she had him over a barrel._

_If he lunged for her, she would scream and he would find himself faced with an angry father and a curious mob of family._

_Gritting his teeth, Nick pounded her doorframe before shaking his head and moving backwards down the hallway._

"_Remember, darlin' what I told you before," he began pointed his finger at her more powerfully with each syllable._

"_I can wait one more night…and then there'll be NO denying me what's mine!"_

_With that, he strode forward and past her, heading down the hall towards the corridor that led to the guest suites…_

The memories engulfed her and an unbidden sob escaped from her opened mouth.

She hadn't realized a lone tear had fallen from her unseeing eyes, trailing down to her hands which were now placed protectively over her heart.

"Oh, Gil…" she thought. She missed him so.

_Did he miss her?  
Did he forgive her reaction to the story about him and Sofia?_

_Did he still… love her… anymore?_

Damp hands signed the letters that spoke of their eternal bond.

Sara heard the signs of life returning to the household as the caterer's, florists, and musicians were already arriving to prepare for the onslaught of guests.

She could hear Lillian's voice already barking orders to the newly arrived staff.

An expert wedding planner, Lillian believed in details and timetables.

Panic surged inside her as the morning still was suddenly sent into chaos by her shrill admonition, "Ladies and gentlemen, please, let's get things moving along. Our guests will be arriving about an hour before the wedding. We have only three hours to get this setting completed!"

_Three hours?_

Sara rushed into her bedroom to discover that the small clock by her pristine bed did indeed read 8:00 a.m.

She barely made it to the bathroom in time.

Just finishing rinsing her mouth to remove the rancid taste of the bile she had spit out, Sara was leaving the bathroom when she was frightened by a loud rapping at the door.

Standing there looking at the offending item, she did not plan on answering, hoping they would just leave her in peace.

A sharp rap returned and Emma Anne's concerned voice called out, "Sara? Are you alright?"

Taking a deep breath, Sara scrubbed her tired face with her hands and reached out with a trembling hand to open the door.

Instead of being greeting by her smiling friend, instead she was face-to-face with a wall of beaded white lace.

"The seamstress just delivered it, as promised," the maid spoke cheerily, slightly worried at how Sara might be feeling this morning.

She moved to hang it on the solitary hook attached high on the closet door. Smoothing out the ruffled edges of the clear plastic softly protecting the lovely creation, Emma Anne continued to speak.

"She said she had a hell of a time getting it all done, and that she was sure you'd look fabulous in it," she spoke without looking directly at Sara, secretly knowing she had not revealed their entire conversation and that she had added the last part in an attempt to take the sting out of that nasty woman's actual comments.

When she turned to finally face Sara, however, words failed her.

She had expected perhaps to find Sara to be anxious.

She had expected perhaps to find her angry.

She had expected perhaps to find tears.

But she had never expected the image before her.

Before her now stood a shell of a person.

Deep sorrow had hollowed out the brown orbs that greeted her.

Her pallor was that of the dead, and Emma Anne couldn't help but shudder at the sight of her.

But before she could speak, Sara approached her and laid a soft hand on her arm before saying, "I'm fine. Really. Don't worry about me."

It was the tone in which she spoke that caused the maid's flesh to flush with goosebumps.

"Sara!" Emma Anne spit out as she raced to close the door.

She took Sara's hand and led her to the edge of the bed.

"Sara, don't do this….don't go through with this…I-I'll go get Logan…he'll protect you….he'll support you, we all will-" she began to rant before being interrupted by the soft shake of Sara's head.

"No."

Frantic, her friend tried again, "But, you aren't thinking, Sara. What about Gil? Aren't you even thinking about _him?…_and what this _marriage_ to Nick means to _his_ future_?_"

Sara stood and pulled her mouth into a sad half-grin.

"I think about nothing else, Emma Anne," she answered so softly the maid resorted to reading her lips.

"But-" she started again, however this time Sara was firm.

"Please, Emma Anne, I …I have less than three hours…I need to shower and start getting ready…._please_…"

Tears welled up in her eyes, but Emma Anne sniffed them back and stood defiantly in front of Sara.

"It may not be my place, and it may cost me my position here.

But if no one else will say it, then I will. I think Nick has been carrying on with Sofia right here under everyone's noses."

She stood tall, expecting a barrage of questions, of denials, of…_some_ reaction.

"I already know that," Sara spoke evenly, surprising Emma Anne into silence.

Sara actually chuckled a bit at the startled maid.

Taking pity on her, she moved them towards the door and said soothingly, "I'm a CSI, remember? I know how to connect the dots."

Smiling ruefully, she hugged a perplexed Emma Anne before pushing her shocked form out through the doorway as Sara began closing and locking the door behind her friend.

Emma Anne walked dazedly down the stairwell instead of using the servant's corridor, moving directly into the kitchen where she never stopped walking until she had deposited herself within Jeremy's shocked embrace.

Only when she felt his supportive arms close around her and his attempt to soothe her with his hands rubbing circular motions did she release her silent sobs into the crook of his neck.

--

Sara moved towards the balcony for a breath of fresh air.

Faced with the reality of the passing hours, her mind was screaming for a way to reformulate this puzzle by connecting the dots in another manner.

_My life vs. Gil's future._

_This marriage needs to happen._

_Nick wasn't so bad..._

_We'll strike an even keel…_

_He'll settle down once the pressures of the wedding are off…_

_He says he loves me…_

_He'll change back to the way he was…._

_Things will be okay…_

Sara shuddered as she raised her tearless eyes to the heavens.

_I sound just like my mother…_

Lowering her glance, she stared at the now sun scorched remains of the daisy.

_Its life was choked out of it because it was left alone…_

_Alone, it didn't have what it needed to live and flourish…_

_I'll marry Nick…but I'll be alone…I won't have Gil…I won't have what I _need_…_

"Oh…" she couldn't even form his name on her lips.

She pressed her raised hand over her silent mouth and closed her eyes tightly.

She could feel Nick's hand on her shoulder.

She could taste his unwanted kisses pressing too hard on her lips.

She could hear him breathing his passionate wants into her ears.

Sara's hands slammed on the balcony railing to still the memories.

She glanced down at the wilted reminder that once, she was loved. _But now, he was gone_.

She remembered again the moments before his dramatic rescue…and how he had saved her in more ways than one that day.

_But now, he was gone._

She remembered the feeling of closing her eyes _as she waited for the pain…and hoped then to finally feel the peace…_

Now, she simply turned and found herself standing before the ornate wooden writing desk.

Opening the top drawer she found an empty tablet and an ink pen housed in one section.

Scribbling the words, "I'm sorry", Sara moved towards the larger piece of bedroom furniture.

Sara laid the paper across the barren dresser top and jimmied her engagement ring off her finger.

Placing it squarely in the middle of her goodbye note, she moved to don a pair of sweat pants and a top, grabbing her slip-on sneakers from under her bed.

Steeling herself, Sara moved through the French doors…

Feeling the sunshine from this balcony for the last time, she closed her eyes and breathed, "Oh, Gil..."

--


	35. Chapter 35

A/N: Thanks to GSRluvr92 and Kateri Bear who reminded me that I forgot (again) about the signature ending of the last chapter. If you missed it, the last lines now read:

_Placing it squarely in the middle of her goodbye note, she moved to don a pair of sweat pants and a top, grabbing her slip-on sneakers from under her bed._

_Steeling herself, Sara moved through the French doors…_

_Feeling the sunshine from this balcony for the last time, she closed her eyes and breathed, "Oh, Gil..."_

As for the amazing reviews and reader support THANK YOU again for the encouragement to keep at this tale….I am again publishing on the fly, so this chapter unfortunately has to be considered part 2 of 3 for the wedding day, but I am promising to update as soon as I can…all mistakes are mine and I will fix them as soon as possible…I just couldn't leave you hanging for the resolution of the last cliffhanger (and SO MANY of you really showed your CSI skills are excellently honed!)… : ) …you are amazingly terrific…these two are spinning a great tale…hope this pleases (although I can hear jenstog groaning as I type the end of this chapter)… : ) …-Kathy

--

"**You are cordially invited to Nick and Sara's Wedding Day"**

"**Nuptials begin at Noon"**

--

Billy had been moving the horses through their paces since sunup, as he wanted to keep them corralled, happy, and out of sight during the wedding and reception time.

It was during his second trip out of the stables that he happened to glance up and barely make out the form of someone he assumed to be Sara standing on the balcony.

When the rush of vans, workers, and the flood of food, flowers, and drinks descended on the ranchhouse, breaking the peace of the breakfast hour, Billy was surprised to see the figure in the exact spot it had occupied two hours earlier.

Knowing the backstory of events, Billy immediately became aware of a nagging feeling that grew with each passing glance at the balcony.

Finally, cutting short Buttercup's run for the day, the horse trainer led the mare swiftly into the stables and picked up his cell phone, uncaring as to the early hour.

Logan had his phone silenced during the night so as keep the line of communication with Brass open without disturbing Lillian.

Unfortunately, when he went to shower he forgot to take it in with him.

Lillian happened to be near his coat jacket draped on a nearby chair in the kitchen when she felt it vibrate.

Annoyed that whatever business had called his attention away from the wedding on the previous days may be beckoning to him again, she reached in and shut off the offending device without looking at the caller ID.

Frustrated about the lack of contact with Logan, Billy had kept his eye on the balcony area until he spotted the microscopic vision of a person he perceived to be Sara just bending over the railing several times and just remaining there as if lost in thought, before moving into the bedroom out of view.

An uncomfortable feeling had overtaken this older man, and Billy knew better than to ignore those little rumblings when they gained his attentions.

Already having stabled Buttercup, he moved swiftly to Champion's stall. Logan's prized white horse was groomed, fed, and anxious for a little romp in the warmth of the early morning.

Saddling him quickly, Billy jumped onto the saddle expertly, and digging in his heels steered the horse towards the main house.

Emma Anne was the first to spot the horse and rider approaching the covered kitchen terrace.

"What in the world-" she started, causing Jeremy and the Cook near the stove, and Logan standing near the table, to look up from their respective spots curiously.

Hearing a muted whinny as the horse approached the empty carport, Logan dropped his cup and saucer on the table and moved quickly to the door.

Upon seeing Champion's long white mane bobbing as the reins were being pulled, Logan slammed his open palm onto the screen door before forcing his way through the doorway.

Worry settled in at the odd arrival, and was compounded when his eyes met Billy's.

Without preamble, Logan breathed out, "Tell me," as he was already grabbing the reins from Billy's hands as he dismounted the stallion.

"I've been watching the terrace, Logan," he began.

Logan's head snapped towards that area, even though it was on the other side of the house, hidden from view.

"Sara!" he whispered anxiously, his firm tug on the bit causing Champion to rear his head and spin around only to feel Logan's heels digging into his sleek sides causing him to gallop towards the manicured lawn in front of the ranchhouse.

Billy turned to answer the questioning gazes of the kitchen staff, moving through the door Emma Anne had held invitingly for him.

Inside, Billy just heaved a heavy sigh and sat at the table, clearing a small area to accommodate the cup Emma Anne had placed there for the coffee pot Jeremy was carrying towards him.

Before he could even speak, Lillian came into the room to chastise them for being "behind schedule" when her voice froze at the sight of Billy at the table.

After a second, her face contorted into a hellish scowl as she placed her hands on her hips and shouted, "Logan Stokes!"

Stomping from the room in search of her errant husband, Billy just smiled to himself and thought _"Next time, Lil, let the man answer his own phone…"_

_--_

Sara had moved through the French doors and felt the sun on her tired features.

Moving towards the banister, she stood for a moment to steel herself for the final action here at the Stoke's residence.

She thought about how glad she would be to rid herself of Lillian's annoying presence, and how happy Lillian was going to be that she did not have to pretend to endure any longer Sara's intrusion into her perfect family.

_With these thoughts, she pulled herself onto the top of the banister and knelt down, feeling a bit light headed and slightly woozy._

She thought about how glad she would be to rid herself of Nick's recently abusive ways, and how she was sure that he would turn to Sofia for comfort, which no doubt she would be glad to provide – and how ole Lil would think they were certainly a match made in heaven…_or hell_…

_With these thoughts, Sara pulled herself up to a standing position, arms balanced to the side to keep her in an upright position._

She thought about how glad she would be to finally rid herself from Grissom's radar, and how she was sure that after a period of grieving, he would move on – if not personally, which she selfishly refused to imagine him with another woman, than at least professionally, with no threat to his career or reputation.

_With these thoughts, Sara had to reach over and pull on the this trellis for support, her grief spurred by thoughts of how much she loved Gil…enough to put an end to this disastrous charade._

She thought about Logan – and her heart stopped beating for a moment.

She knew he would not understand her leaving this way, taking the coward's way out.

But the realization that she was going down the same path as her mother, enduring abuse and then unrealistically thinking that everything would be alright once the wedding was over, had sent alarms ringing in her brain.

She couldn't go through with this wedding to Nick or her life would be over, and she couldn't back out because Nick's vendetta against Grissom would end his career.

No, for as much as Logan would grieve for her departure, she loved him enough to spare him from the witness of her loveless marriage to Nick.

_Perhaps, when I'm gone, they can mend their fences and get back to being a real family again._

_Like they were before I entered the picture…oh…what have I done?_

Sara glanced upwards quietly speaking, "I love you, Dad. I'm so sorry."

With that, Sara spun herself 180 degrees so that she was facing the French doors. She could still see the designer gown mocking her from inside Nick's room.

With a small smirk, she bid her old life _goodbye._

She released her grip on the trellis and forced her feet backwards off the banister…

--

Logan at this time was rounding the corner and was horrified at the scene before him.

Before he could speak, he saw Sara's form twisting angrily in the rungs of the wires that supported the ivy and vines growing upwards along the face of the wall under the balcony's banister.

Sara had jumped to the ledge on the other side of the banister, hanging onto the railing as she began to lower herself down the face of the vine-covered wall.

She had always enjoyed rock climbing, and was a regular at her gym's Saturday sessions.

Sara's thin frame made her a great candidate for the sport, and ordinarily her sneakers' rubber soles gave her great traction and an easy descent from the height of the wall.

Unfortunately for Sara, if she had taken the time to view this particular wall from the ground, she would have immediately noticed the thin steel wiring that had been implanted in the cement to control the direction of the vine cover.

Now, that omission found her hanging precariously eight feet off the ground, her foot trapped inside a wire that her heel had displaced causing wire and vine to wrap itself painfully around her ankle cutting the exposed skin.

She couldn't move downwards and she couldn't find the strength to crawl back upwards.

Her face was pale as she struggled not to faint under the anxiety of being found in this circumstance.

"SARA!" Logan called out as he dug in his heels and ordered Champion to race towards this woman whom he loved as if she were his own flesh and blood.

"Dad?"

Sara felt herself losing touch with reality as she was sure he was nothing more than a conjured up hallucination.

"Sara, darlin', _Don't move!_"

The irony of that statement reached through her anxiety, and somehow Sara began to reach out for the hope that she might possibly succeed in getting away from this nightmare unnoticed…but not unaided.

"Dad?" She spoke softly, gravity pulling on her body, contorting her ankle with more painful pressure from the broken metal.

"Just a minute, darlin'. Just stay still another minute," Logan called as he was dismounting and grabbing the extension ladder which lay next to the fire extinguisher in a hidden alcove carved out of the side wall of the brick balcony.

In seconds, Logan had opened the life saving device, crawled up and untwisted Sara's injured ankle, and was now helping to poise her both legs on the wide top step of the ladder, guiding her slowly to safety.

Once she reached the ground but before she could apply pressure to her injury, Sara was startled happily by Logan sweeping her off her feet and heading towards his horse.

Setting her down carefully, he masterfully mounted the steed and placed both hands out to ask her to join him.

They stood there, gazes locked, and Logan held his breath that she would trust him enough to let him help her.

Sara looked deep into his gaze, amazed that after all that had occurred, there was no agenda, no reprimand, nothing but concern in his fatherly gaze.

When she suddenly smiled towards him, Logan broke into a heartfelt chuckle and leaned further to help her up onto Champion's wide back.

Placing her good foot in the stirrups, Logan sat forward and easily yanked her thin frame up and onto the saddle behind him.

Sara hugged him tightly in thanks, and kept her arms around him as he pulled the reins and the horse sped off in the direction of the stables.

Looking back over her shoulders as the balcony seemed farther away, Sara realized that her dream of her knight in shining armor had come true.

She had been saved…by the man who forever would be known as "Dad", no matter how the next few hours played out.

As they headed past the stables, Sara finally took in a deep breath, feeling Logan's hand occasionally patting hers reassuringly.

Her smile fell when she realized that he had moved his fingers over her left hand, and halted momentarily when he realized she was not wearing her engagement ring.

She couldn't tell what he was feeling, and because she was behind him, she could not detect the relieved smile that now resided across his happy face.

Her worry intensified as she realized they were heading to the cabin.

_It would be the first place Nick will look for me_, Sara thought in full CSI mode.

_He knows I don't have a car and even if I walked, we're too far out of town…_

Sara didn't know if the pain of her botched escape was getting to her…but…was it possible?

The front grill of the Jeep seemed to smile in welcome from its hidden parking spot under the shady maple tree near the front steps.

_And…what?...Brass?_

At the sound of the horse moving up the tree canopied entryway, Brass had swung open the door with a wave and a smile – that fell when he noticed the swelling on Sara's shoeless left foot.

He reached them just as Logan dismounted, a million questions boiled down into," Sara! Doll-"

"She's alright," dismissed Logan without turning to him, placing his full attention on lowering a wincing Sara from her perch on Champion's back.

She started to hobble forward, but again Logan swept her off her feet and headed to the door, this time looking over his shoulder.

That action caused Sara to follow his gaze, biting her lip nervously.

_This did not go as I planned. They are too involved now. I just wanted to get away, to stop hurting them..._

As if reading her mind, Logan's lips brushed her forehead and he smiled saying, "We've got you now, Sara. Everything's going to be alright, honey."

Too anxious to relax fully, Sara leaned against Logan's shoulder and tried to concentrate on how to escape with a wounded foot.

Brass held the door as Logan entered the room which looked much more lived in than the last time she had visited there with Gil.

_Gil…wonder where he is now…how he is feeling…I hurt him so…he'll never know about Nick's threats, though, and after a while he'll get over this…move on…_

Sara sighed as Logan set her down on the couch, Brass already pulling out the ice and first aid kit.

_Who am I kidding…we'll never move on…that kind of love…the happily ever after kind…_

She yelped in pain as Logan lifted her leg to elevate her foot. A tear slipped down her cheek, and Logan tried to comfort her as he fumed about how he had hurt her.

But the tear was only partly in reaction to her physical pain.

Her heart was hurting for the loss of her _one and only_….

Brass was silent as Logan filled him in on the basics of Sara's escape attempt.

He finished applying the ace bandage and ice packs wordlessly.

Sara couldn't tell if he was upset about the injury…or upset with her.

She leaned back against the pillows Logan placed behind her.

If she weren't so afraid of being discovered her by Nick, she would be able to sleep in this quiet place.

Her heavy eyelids remained fixed on the main door across from her, scanning the distance for dust trails or other signs of approaching unwelcome visitors.

Both Brass and Logan had been standing off to the side near the open doorway of the single bedroom in this cabin.

She was fighting to keep her eyes open, not paying attention to the constant buzz of their very private conversation.

Without looking at her, Brass crossed the room and slammed the screen door open with both fists as he stomped down the steps and disappeared in the direction of the parked Jeep.

Puzzled and more than a little worried, Sara pulled herself up on her elbows to stare from the empty doorway to Logan's looming frame moving swiftly towards her, blocking out her view of the rest of the room.

Standing before her, he eased her back onto her pillows and smiled.

She thought he was going to say something, but instead he just fussed with her pillows, trying to hide the pained expression in his eyes.

"Dad?" she croaked out dryly, and instantly Logan was reaching for the bottled water Brass had placed on the end table next to the Tylenol from the first aid kit.

"Take this, darlin'," Logan said softly as he handed her the water first, followed by two tablets in her shaking palms.

When she finished, she lay her head back tiredly fighting with her tired eyelids to remain focused on the door.

"I-I need to leave here, Dad. Nick-" she blurted out, trying to raise herself on her elbows again, this time jarring her now swelling ankle so painfully that the combination of the stress, injury, lack of sleep, and inadequate diet over the last few days caused her to briefly lose consciousness.

Before she drifted away from the scene, she was sure she could hear Gil's worried voice call, "Sara!"

As the last shred of light left her field of vision, Sara's heart was yearning for the touch of the one man who could make this better_…"Oh, Gil_…_"_


	36. Chapter 36

A/N: These two insisted on supplying us with such detail that this wedding day chapter will _now_ have to be considered part 3 out of 4…the reviews are so appreciated and reader support remains outstanding…this post is late night, so all mistakes are mine, and will be fixed as soon as I can…hope this pleases, and that you accept, on face value, the "legalese" from a person who doesn't watch _Law and Order_ enough to contrive a better explanation… : ) …it's late, but you are so terrific, you make it all worth it… more soon as I can… -Kathy

--

"**You are cordially invited to Nick and Sara's Wedding Day"**

"**Nuptials begin at Noon"**

--

_**8:30 a.m.**_

Their plan was in shambles and now they were divided as to a new course of action.

Logan could barely rest the night before, lying restlessly next to Lillian until finally changing and heading down to the kitchen to calm his nerves without waking his sleeping wife.

Around midnight, knowing the rest of the household slept, Logan had taken the Jeep out to the cabin as they had discussed.

The plan was simple, really –

…Logan would cajole Sara into taking an early morning ride out to the pond, where he would insist they stop by the cabin.

…Brass would join him in explaining to Sara that they knew about Nick's threats.

…At that point, Grissom would emerge from the bedroom. It was decided that he not show his face immediately, as in Sara's current physical and emotional condition his abrupt appearance might send her fully into shock.

Logan had not disclosed to Brass and Gil that there was an additional part to his plan.

After Gil's return was made known, Logan would disclose, to all assembled, the information he had planned to impart to them before he stupidly was sidetracked with the uproar over the accusations about Gil and Sofia.

Then Billy was to come to the cabin and lead them to the back road leading to the main highway that would lead them to the airport.

His good friend the sheriff had offered the use of his private plane, willing to help Logan by flying Gil and Sara back to Vegas before Nick knew Sara was missing.

It had seemed like a perfect plan.

But Murphy's Law apparently was still in control.

Brass had been standing near the door anxiously awaiting Logan's arrival with Sara, not noticing Gil's absence as he stood at the bay window overlooking the pond.

_Will she still want me?...after I just left her?... I just wanted to make it easy for her…just only ever wanted her to be happy…I died a little that night…I still feel dead inside…and I will – until I feel her in my arms…she's my life…but will she still love me?... she thinks I abandoned her…_

Gil frowned at the sound of Logan's arrival…something was wrong.

He peered around the corner and moved stealthily into the middle of the large room, out of sight from those outside.

His heart froze as he saw Brass' worry and Logan picking her up…where was her shoe?

Was her leg bleeding?

Sara!

Brass opened the door for Logan, turning to glare at Gil to hide himself from view.

Reluctantly, he did move inside the bedroom, refusing to close the door fully so he could hear what was happening to his only love.

Her painful cry had him slamming closed his eyes and counting to ten – anything to avoid rushing to her side to soothe her.

She didn't need the shock of his sudden appearance, not now.

He would make himself wait, because he loved her enough to make this easy on her.

…_but will she still love me?..._

Soon Brass and Logan were standing in the doorway, moving to block him from Sara's view.

"This changes everything…we need to get her out of her now..." Logan began, turning to an angry Brass.

"You're damn straight this changes everything! What the hell is wrong with you, Logan?" Brass seethed in hushed tones so Sara wouldn't overhear.

"How can you sit there and look at the bruises _your son_ inflicted on her…and that's what we are able to see!"

He shut his eyes in an attempt to ward off the images of crimes scenes with the many dead women who had brutalized by their violent husbands.

Upon opening them, he immediately switched his concerns to understanding the curious expression dominating Grissom's flushed countenance.

"Gil?" Logan asked, almost afraid of his reply.

"I'll kill him," Grissom stated softly, in a manner so matter-of-fact that it sent chills down the judge's spine.

"Gil, that won't solve anything-" he began, but was cut off by Gil's unseeing glare as he spoke in a tone so calm it totally belied the rage swelling inside him.

"He hurt her, Logan…" his pause was deliberate, and both men knew his next statement would give them the direction of their next actions.

"…but I…I wasn't there to stop him…"

"Hey! Don't do this, Gil!" Brass hissed stepped forward, pulling him deeper into the privacy of the small bedroom, away from Sara's hearing.

"YOU, my friend, may be guilty of a lot of things concerning Sara. But you would NEVER hurt her the way that bastard has been doing. She _was _hurt by that maniac, and you aren't going to take the blame for that monster. You got that?" he finished, face flushed with red.

"This isn't addressing the situation, gentlemen," Logan began, worried that their window of opportunity was growing shorter.

"Oh? And just what situation is that, may I ask?" Brass quipped angrily.

"We need to get Sara out of here-"

"We need to get Nick in handcuffs and in jail for assault and battery!" Jim almost yelled, catching himself immediately and lowering his volume – but not the venom in his words.

Logan sighed, knowing if it had been anyone else…

Shaking himself to clear his head, Gil interrupted both men from continuing down their tangents.  
"Sara needs medical attention."

"Well, Logan, this is your show…what's it gonna be?" Brass stood toe to toe with the taller man, whose shoulders were slumping in worry.

Pulling himself up to his full height, Logan inhaled deeply and looked at Gil.

"You're right. Let me make her comfortable before we go to talk with her. Jim, can you empty the backseat of the car so Sara can lay down for the trip? Gil's suitcase can go in the trunk."

Brass, however, did not move.

Staring at Logan, he gritted his teeth as he spoke, "And Nick?"

The judge moved closer to Brass and said, "Let's just concentrate on Sara for now, alright?"

His eyes darting angrily from Logan to Gil, Brass expected some protest to come from the man who had remained awake all last evening professing, in word and deed, his love for Sara.

Gil moved towards the doorway as he shrugged his shoulders at Brass and simply stated, "He's right, Jim."

He became furious at the prospect that the person who had hurt this woman he loved like a daughter would somehow escape the consequences for his actions.

That is how Brass strode purposefully out of the room and towards the screen door, opening it harshly with clenched fists, heading to prepare the Jeep for their departure.

Logan continued with his plan, moving to offer Sara some Tylenol while making her comfortable.

He hoped that by blocking her view of the room, she would not see Gil hovering in worry around the doorway.

Logan wanted time to prepare her for Gil's appearance, allowing him to disclose his information and get them on the way to the airport as soon as possible.

Something inside of him groaned as Sara's intense pain caused her to lose consciousness briefly, _will he _ever_ get to tell her the truth?_

Hearing Sara's anguished cry was too much for Gil, and he rushed forward calling out worriedly, "Sara!"

He reached her side just as her head flopped to the side of her pillow.

"Sara!" Gil whispered into her ear as his trembling hands reached under her back and pulled her to himself.

The joy of experiencing her warmth next to him was offset by the worry over her unconscious state.

At that exact second, the screen door slammed open to see an angry Brass with his weapon drawn.

"Put that thing away!" Logan shouted angrily, moving towards Brass.

Brass saw Gil clutching Sara and realized what had caused her to cry out.

His reaction had been visceral at hearing first Sara then Gil's cry penetrate the stillness of the cabin's exterior.

_I thought Nick had rushed the place, wanting to hurt her again…he hurt her…my Sara…_

Holstering his weapon, Logan glared but remained speechless as Brass made no apologies for wearing his sidearm to protect Sara.

And that was the scene that etched itself on Sara's returning vision: Logan and Brass at a silent standoff, Brass -_ was he wearing his weapon?_ – and Gil holding me tightly, whispering how he loves me, to please come back to him.

_I will…I miss you…please don't leave me again…I never want to wake up from this dream…_

It was only the persistence of his strong arms caressing her in loving strokes up and down her back,

the tender whispers of _I love you, Sara…I'm so sorry…please, Sara…_,

and finally the broad smile of Logan looking over Gil's shoulder saying, "Looks like she's coming around,"

that finally convinced Sara it was not a dream.

Gil was here!

He was holding her… _here…_ speaking words of love… _right here_…

"_Gil_!" Sara moaned, and he leaned back enough to cover her lips with kisses so tender they prevented any other words from escaping.

"Don't move, darlin'" Logan said as Brass moved over to investigate for himself that she was looking a bit better.

"Don't move that leg again, Sara. We need to get you to a doctor," Brass began but Sara was making a feeble attempt to dislodge herself from Gil's arms.

"No! I-I need to get out of here. Myself. Nick will find me! I won't have you hurt because of me!"

Gil refused to loosen his hold on her, yet worried that in her struggles she would reinjure her leg and ankle.

"Sara! _Stop_!" Gil almost shouted, giving Logan a pang of regret that they needed to use that tone to calm down her actions.

Sara did pause for a moment, attempting to rein in the tears that threatened to fall.

He loved her. She knew that now. She could survive knowing that.

But Grissom would never survive the fallout from being with her, especially now that her actions would surely fan the flames of Nick's rage.

"No! I can't-…you can't be with…Gil, please let me go…it's what needs to happen…it will be okay-"

"HOW will it be okay, Sara? Explain to me how it will be okay if we aren't together!" his voice raised.

The whole issue of Sara keeping Nick's threats a secret was raising its ugly head.

_She could have told me._

_I would have left the job behind in a heartbeat._

_If Sara would have me, we could have faced this together._

_But she took it all on her own shoulders, wanting to spare me._

_And I left, wanting to spare her._

_What a pair we are!_

In that moment, however, Logan was becoming more agitated over the passing of time.

"Sara-" he began earnestly, but she began fighting for Gil to release her.

"No! Just get me into the car. Let me go. Please," she turned her face to look them each in the eye.

"Please…just let me go…"

Brass and Logan were moved to silence, but Gil was fully responsive.

He smoothed her hair and forced her to look at him,

"Never."

She shook her head.

_If he only knew the truth…I can't compete with his life's work…I'm not enough…I love him…but he has to let me go…_

She started to speak, but he overrode her words,

"Never again…I love you, Sara."

_He doesn't know the truth…I'm not worth throwing away everything that's important to him…  
_"I love you, Sara Sidle."

She stilled in his arms, trying to find the words to make it easier on him when she left.

"Sara _– I. Love. You._ –" Gil said directly into her sorrowing eyes,

"And I know all about how Nick's been blackmailing you into marrying him."

He felt her pull away as her body lost the energy to fight.

She leaned back against the pillows, closing her eyes, and shaking her head softly.

"No-"

"Yes, honey." "Yes, darlin', it's true." "Yes, doll, we all know." They answered at once.

She pressed herself further into the pillows, wishing to crawl away from their intense gazes.

"But…how?"

Logan moved forward as Gil slipped to the floor at her head, grasping her hands as his lifeline.

Sitting on the table before her, he moved a strand of hair from her disbelieving eyes and began his explanation.

"Darlin', I've known for a few days now, " he started, feeling like those days had lasted a lifetime.

She stared unbelieving as she could only utter in confusion, "…how?..."

Logan stroked her cheek while adding, "Billy. He overheard Nick the last time you were in the stables."

Her confusion was increasing and her eyes kept darting between the three men she loved more than her life.

Logan turned slightly towards Gil and Brass.

"Look, here's the bottom line, darlin'.

We all know, and we are determined to keep you away from Nick and safely with Gil.

We need to get you to a doctor's and then the sheriff will fly you and Gil to Vegas this afternoon.

And time is running out. I need to get back before Lillian misses me and Nick becomes suspicious."

Brass was moving idly onto the balls of his feet and slightly back, anxiety crushing his ability to stand still due to his worry of Nick's arrival and the subsequent situation which would only cause Sara more grief.

_There was more_, she could see it in Logan's eyes.

"What else, dad? There's something else you want to tell me."

Gil looked to Logan as he remembered that there _had_ been a discussion that never took place which Logan had cited as "very important". Could this have something to do with Sara?

The judge stood and was now kneeling in front of Sara.

"Darlin', after I found out about Nick's despicable threats, I had my law clerks research Nevada law, federal statutes, and the proprietary ethics –"

"You did _what?_" chimed in a stunned duo, with Brass and Gil gaping at him.

"Dad, I don't understand."

A smile began to spread across Gil's face. Logan smiled back.

"Sara, according to the research of litigation documented in our law journals, Nick's threats were meaningless."

"But…but the lab policy…Ecklie…" Sara began to protest excitedly, her whole world now definitely standing on its ear.

Logan shook his head before glancing at a speechless Grissom and Sara.

"I spoke with your DA _officially off the record_, and called a few friends on the circuit court bench for their off the cuff opinions," he added.

"Basically, any lawyer who would call your evidence into question because of an implied conflict of interest would have to show that you and Gil conspired to doctor your findings – and that can't happen logically because of the amount of evidence processing done by the lab techs."

Gil thought about this for a moment.

He said aloud to anyone listening, "It's true."

He looked at Sara and said, "Most of our evidence is done on a double blind. As a rule, we give them samples and they tell us what the substance is, and they run the results through CODIS for verification. Even if we tried to tamper with the evidence, the way we document our submissions, it would be difficult to cover-up such deception without leaving some kind of paper trail. "

"Besides," he added more quickly, his heart racing at averting a major career tragedy over a lack of legal perspective, "There is documentation enough to prove that while we may be primaries on the case, there is still team involvement in solving critical cases."

He looked at Brass and simply said, "That reduces fraternization to an internal issue, with implications for Sara concerning "promotions for favors received".

Brass winced at the idea of that gossip spreading with Sara's name attached to it.

"So what does this all boil down to?" Jim asked, still confused.

"Well, our joint cases would be safe - basically the courts would be forced to go with the evidence."

He turned and smiled at a still stunned Sara.

"And the rest would be Ecklie's domain…" he added, squeezing her hands supportively.

_He was bluffing! Nick made it sound like the end of the world for us, and now Logan had just wrapped up our worries and has replaced them with a real beginning for us…_

"Gil," Sara choked out, overcome by the drama her relationship with Nick had fostered, worry suddenly reappearing.

_It really couldn't be that simple, could it?_.

"But, Gil…your reputation…" she knew she was grasping at straws, but she wanted to be sure that he was thinking about himself, and all he had to lose if he continued to pursue her.

He silenced her with a kiss.

"Don't worry, honey. Besides," he turned and looked at Logan before turning to wink at her.

"We know a great lawyer."

Next thing she knew he had wrapped his arms around her happily one minute, the next moment he had lifted her off the couch and turned towards the door.

Brass was still shaking his head, trying to figure out what it all meant.

He knew one thing for certain.

Logan had pulled in more favors to help Sara and Gil in the last week than he probably had done in his time on the bench.

_That kind of debt will take a lifetime to repay,_ Brass swore an oath to that effect.

Gil was moving swiftly towards the door as Brass turned to hold the screen door at bay.

Logan text messaged Billy and moved quickly outdoors.

He had rushed ahead to open the front seat door of the Jeep, helping to steady Sara as Gil moved into the middle of the backseat, reaching over to Logan to assist her into settling herself next to him.

Sara reached up to hold Logan close, tears streaming at leaving this man whom she adored like a father.

"Dad – " she whispered, sadness engulfing her at the lack of time for a proper goodbye.

"I'll see you soon, darlin'" he whispered in her ear, not trusting his voice at this time.

When she looked startled, suspicious that he was just saying it to make her feel better, Logan laughed and said, "Give me a day or two to straighten out this mess Nick made. I promise I'll give Gil's phone a ring and make my way to Vegas to sort it all out."

Pleased that this was not going to be a permanent separation, Sara smiled a full Sidle smile at this man she would forever call her "dad".

And the love in that smile warmed his heart so unexpectedly that Logan's thoughts immediately ran to another time, another smile, when Anna…

He shook himself visibly.

There would be time for remembering later.

_Now_ was time for _making _a memory.

He kissed her forehead and then glanced into Gil's eyes.

"Please watch over her, Gil."

Blue eyes pledged an oath as he rasped a reply, "With my life…"

Stepping away from the Jeep, Logan turned to acknowledge the hoofs of the approaching horse.

Billy appeared riding Buttercup, making Sara smile widely as he dismounted and moved towards her.

Billy was taken aback at Sara's glow of happiness after observing her days of misery, and was even more astonished as she reached out to him and whispered, "Thank you, Billy, for _everything_."

Pulling out his kerchief, Billy dried his moist eyes and cheeks with a gruff rub of the cloth before turning away from this little lady who had stolen his heart, brusquely replying, "Dang sun!"

Now Logan found himself facing Brass who had already started the Jeep in preparation for following Billy to the airport.

The two men stared at each other, Brass' eyes flicking uncontrollably in the rearview mirror at the bruised shoulder skin visible under Sara's tank top.

Returning back to his gaze, Brass sighed and lifted a hand towards Logan.

The judge gratefully accepted this handshake, both men expressing their truce for Sara's sake – but silently acknowledging this matter of abuse was far from over.

Giving Billy his altered instructions to now ride _with_ them and ensure they got to the clinic before the airport, Logan himself mounted Buttercup as Billy agreeably buckled his seatbelt in the front passenger seat of the Jeep.

Another moment and Sara was leaning into Gil's embrace as she lowered her hand from their final goodbye.

Logan sat on horseback for a few moments, allowing the silence to envelope him in the peace of a well-done deed.

He watched their vehicle retreat up over the mountain, and Logan sighed.

Saying goodbye to Sara was hard enough.

Now, however, he was faced with the harder task of the day.

He kicked his heels and pulled hard on the reins, galloping towards the ranchhouse.

_It was time to confront Nick._

Before disappearing from view, Gil could be seen closing the short distance between them and lavishing Sara with a gentle hug and kisses.

She laughed at his persistence, it was as if she were an oasis that he had just discovered after a desert exile.

He was intoxicating, and although her leg ached painfully, his kisses provided a euphoria that released endorphins on a magnified scale.

Pulling back slightly to catch her breath, giving in to the urgency of his desperation to feel her close to him gave her only enough time to sigh and say, "Oh, Gil…"


	37. Chapter 37

A/N: Although many readers felt this might be the end of the tale, I must remind you that these two tell their story in their own time…thanks to the amazing reviews and reader response to the last chapter…your positive comments are the reason I once again am burning the midnight oil to publish this chapter, as this weekend was a marathon of summer fun and this week will not provide too many opportunities to write…absolutely unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine…more as soon as I can…you are all so terrific! -Kathy

--

"**You are cordially invited to Nick and Sara's Wedding Day"**

"**Nuptials begin at Noon"**

--

_**10:00 a.m.**_

Logan had stabled Champion and made his way with determined steps towards the kitchen area.

The household was abuzz with caterer's carts whizzing through open portals to the terrace room bedecked in tasteful swags of taffeta and lace swirling above the ornate tables adorned with fresh flowers and candles.

Logan spied his daughters attending the main door whose bell toned frequently with telegrams, gift deliveries, and a contingent of early arrivals. He sighed as he spotted some of Lillian's cousins who had traveled from a great distance to share in this special occasion.

_Too bad they made the long trek only to be disappointed._

Not for the first time since he left the cabin did Logan consider how devastated Lillian was going to be_._

He knew how hard she had been working on making this day special for Nick and Sara…

His anger resurfaced as he thought of Nick's treatment of Sara.

In some aspect, Logan blamed himself for allowing himself to get sidetracked with Sofia's accusations.

_If I had just spoken with them earlier, this eleventh hour intervention could have been avoided…_

He was about to heave a heavy-hearted sigh as Lillian's shrill tone reverberated through the open doorway, "_Logan Stokes!_"

Before he had a chance to speak, Lillian was already berating him from a distance.

"I was _extremely_ clear that you were to focus on this wedding, today! I _certainly_ did not expect you to disappoint your son on his special day!

But, of course, _Billy_ shows up and you go running off to god knows where to handle some insignificant little matter –"

Logan was in no mood to deal with this tirade right now. As Lillian had begun releasing her displeasure at his disappearance, he had noted the time and realized he needed to find Nick as quickly as possible.

He interrupted her speech by growling, "It was not 'insignificant', Lil!"

She paid no attention and continued to berate him even louder.

"YOUR SON needs to be the focus of your attention today, sir!" she argued with a protective tone.

"Trust me on this, Lillian," Logan moved towards the main staircase as he began to speak, pausing in the doorway, his knuckles white as they gripped the decorative moulding around the doorway, "Nick is going to get my _total_ attention!"

Lillian fumed as she watched him ascend the staircase two steps at a time before whipping around to discreetly chastise a waiter for his choice of buffet table centerpiece placement.

--

Nick's room was empty, causing Logan to utter an oath and race down the hallway towards the guest suites. If his intuition was correct, he knew where he might find his wayward son…

Reaching the intersection of the servant's corridor and the guest suites' hallway, Logan slowed as he heard voices.

Well, not so much voices as low pitches followed by occasional squeals.

Before he could move from his observation point, the door to Sofia's room swung open to reveal her pressed suggestively against Nick as they were liplocked, his hands roaming over the length of the back of her body.

He was whispering something about 'the next time' and she was giggling into his mouth as he ended his kiss with a passionate pull of her waist towards his body.

Ending the kiss, Sofia backed into the room and shut the door – unknowing that her performance had been observed by an angry Logan.

Nick stood a second facing the closed doorway as he began to rub his fingers over his mouth and turned – his motion halted as he understood his father had caught him exiting Sofia's room.

Instead of being remorseful, Nick pulled himself to his full height and shot his father a lascivious grin.

"Dad," he acknowledged the furious gaze directed towards him.

His pompous stroll down the hall indicated that he was unconcerned about his father's discovery of his tryst with Sofia.

As he approached his father, Nick expected to just saunter past him to head towards his bedroom to prepare for the exchange of vows.

Logan reached out to block Nick's retreat, an action which only elicited a moan from the groom-to-be.

"Oh, what? Are we going to have a "little talk" now?" he baited his father condescendingly.

Nick was unprepared for his father's action as the older man grabbed his son's shirt by the back collar and practically threw his startled body on the floor ahead of him.

Reaching down immediately to reclaim his grasp on his son's shirt and belt buckle, he sped them down the hallway towards Nick's room.

A stunned Nick had regained his presence of mind just as they reached his doorway as Logan bodyslammed his son onto the door, causing it to smack open effortlessly.

Nick found himself hurtling towards his bed, but missing it by several feet.

Having landed on his knees, Nick regrouped and spun around furiously, his position reminiscent of his favorite childhood game of crab walking.

Knowing his son intended to lunge towards him, Logan moved forward and placed his large foot squarely on his son's chest, causing Nick to fall flat on the ground under the pressure of his father's shoe.

"Don't move, Nicholas. I have a lot to say to you."

Somehow, being back in the family home and confronted by his father in a manner Nick had never experienced before, he found himself obeying his father's directives.

Removing his foot as he fought with the urge to injure this person who could inflict such emotional pain to a woman he claimed to love, Logan reached down and pulled Nick up by the collar.

Coming eye-to-eye with his son, Logan looked into his eyes.

"I don't even know who you are anymore, Nick.

I see how you carry on behind Sara's back, and it sickens me."

Nick interrupted, "What I do or don't do behind Sara's back is none of your business."

Logan continued as if Nick had not spoken.

"I listen to how you treat her verbally, dismissive and hurtful. What kind of life is that for any woman, especially one like Sara?"

Nick began to offer a rebuttal, but his father's next remark brought him up cold,

"I know about your threats against Gil."

For the first time, something akin to panic began to reside in Nick's upper chest.

"Wha-" he stuttered but could not find enough breath to continue, shock constricting his upper airway.

Logan moved forward forcefully before adding, "Did you really think I was just going to stand by and watch you ruin her life this way?"

Concerned about what his father was implying by using the past tense, Nick tested the waters by saying, "I need to speak to Sara."

He moved two steps away from his father before hearing the words he dreaded, "She's gone."

--

At the clinic, Dr. Evans was returning to the exam room with the films of Sara's X-ray.

He observed the three men, one of whom he had known and respected for years, the other a law enforcement office, and then…this older man who seemed to have a romantic interest in his patient.

The doctor wondered if her obvious return of his attentions was heartfelt or conditioned…

Conditioned by the obvious abusive fractures and bone injuries indicative of abuse.

In his meager clinic, it was hard to date the earlier damage, but their presence supplied the source of her current leg pain.

All three men looked up, and Gil immediately understood that the doctor had suspicions about Sara's injury.

Realizing the doctor would want to speak to Sara alone, Billy just smiled at Sara and said he'd wait outside.

The doctor expected the other two men to leave so he could speak to the patient alone, but was surprised when Gil moved forward and took Sara's hand before meeting the doctor's gaze.

"Dr. Evan, before you speak to Sara-" he paused taking out his cell phone and placing it in the hands of the physician, "perhaps it would be best if you spoke to Sara's physician – Dr. Craig at Desert Palms Hospital in Las Vegas."

Surprise showed momentarily in the doctor's eyes, to be replaced by curiosity as he reached mechanically for the phone.

Looking at Sara pointedly, his gaze fell again on Grissom as he spoke, "If you will excuse me a moment…"

Alone again, Gil reached down to smooth some errant curls from Sara's tired eyes.

"Think you can sleep, honey? That call might take awhile."

Sara shook her head absentmindedly, trying with all her effort not to let Gil see how much pain she was enduring after the doctor's manipulation of her bruised and bleeding ankle.

He smiled at her reassuringly, fury raging that their departure was being delayed because of her traumatic childhood injuries.

Keeping her hand in his, Gil pulled over the empty stool and perched atop the smooth surface before leaning in towards her.

She was fighting to keep her eyes open, glancing towards the door with eyes full of worry.

"Sara-" Gil spoke softly trying to ease her obvious stress.

"I just wish he'd hurry and we could leave, Gil…I…I wish we never came here, I told you I was fine, I just wanted to get on that plane-"

"Shhh, honey….don't get yourself upset now…" he pressed his other hand reassuringly over their already interwined fingers.

"You are hurt, my dear, and you need medical attention."

His brows furrowed slightly at her continued worry.

"Sara…you're safe now.."

Her gaze shot in his direction.

Gil smiled and spoke softly, "I've got you now…and I'm never letting you go again…_never_!…"

Meanwhile in his office, Dr. Evans was finishing his consult.

"Thank you for clearing up that matter, Dr. Craig," the physician spoke as he grimaced at the amount of damage he was viewing on the X-ray clipped to the lighted viewer in his office.

"Now, what medications have you already prescribed?" Dr. Evans asked as he pulled up her chart.

"Hmm…doesn't seem as if she is taking them, though…she indicated no medications currently being taken."

Dr. Craig was concerned. _Why wouldn't she have taken the medication? Were they kept from her, or did she herself decided against taking them?_

His worry caused him to request a new prescription filled immediately with enough samples to last her a few days in case her return trip was postponed.

After agreeing to give Sara a prescription, Dr. Evans ended his call before turning once more to study the films displayed before him.

He reached over to unlock him medicine cabinet, snapping open a small, opaque drawstring bag and filling it with a week's worth of Valium samples.

Clicking his pen to write a prescription as he feared Sara might lose the samples in her travels, he strode back to the exam room with bag, script, and phone in hand.

Upon hearing the door open, Sara practically jumped off the table as she was startled awake.

The fear in her eyes was evident, and the doctor again glanced from Sara to Gil, trying to make himself believe the incredible report he had just received from Dr. Craig.

Not one to dismiss his intuition, Dr. Evans bluntly stated that he needed to speak to Sara alone and turned to swing open the door with a glare towards the two men.

Knowing that arguing would merely delay the inevitable, Gil leaned over to kiss Sara lightly on the forehead before saying, "We'll be right outside, honey, then we'll leave when you finish up with the doctor."

Again, the physician was startled at the look of absolute adoration Sara sent in Gil's direction.

When they were alone, Sara replaced her guard as she prepared to do battle with this physician over her release.

Noting her posture, Dr. Evans moved to reassure her that he just wanted to be sure she felt safe, and to be absolutely certain that Sara did not consider herself threatened by either of the men who brought her to the clinic.

At this, Sara almost burst out laughing, much to the consternation of the straight-laced doctor.

Moving towards her, Sara brought a hand out to stop his movements.

"I trust these gentlemen with my life…and as soon as I leave her, I am going to be married to one of them….today…in Vegas…"

Surprised, the doctor queried, "Today? Do you think that's wise? Perhaps you can wait a day or two, surely if you've waited this long-"

Sara laughed again to the doctor's puzzlement.

"THAT's the irony, is it not?" she said as she thought about how long she had waited to finally get to this moment.

Sighing in defeat, Dr. Evans concluded Sara's condition may not be totally stabilized, but he could firm up no real objections to her leaving.

Ten minutes later, the happy couple was armed with discharge instructions to keep her leg completely immobile, and samples of Valium to act as a pain reliever and muscle relaxant.

Billy chuckled as his happy smile widened with every turn of the Jeep's tires as the four friends sped out of the parking lot and down the highway towards the nearby airport.

--

Nick looked as if he had been slapped in the face.

"What do you mean, _gone_?" he spat furiously, moving towards his father menacingly.

"Just that, Nick," his father smiled, enjoying his son's squirming as he wrestled to comprehend that his hold over Sara had disintegrated into nothingness.

"Where. Is. Sara.?" Nick was almost screaming as he stood directly in front his father, contemplating how to remove that smug look of triumph crossing the older man's face.

Before his demand could be satisfied, a flustered Lillian bounded into the room.

"Logan! What is going on here?"

She turned sympathetically towards Nick and said, "Dear, tell me what is going on here, please."

Nick fumed in his father's direction and said angrily, "Why don't you ask him, mother? He seems to have all the answers today!"

Again, an angry Lillian encroached on her husband's private space as she barked, "Well??"

Logan looked from Lillian to Nick and for the first time noticed that they actually were very similar in stature, disposition, and – character.

Glaring at them both with disdain, he looked right into Lillian's eyes and smiled wickedly.

"It's over, Lillian."

"Over? Wha-" she sputtered, only to be interrupted by Logan's crushing verbal blow:

"_The wedding is off_."

Lillian felt faint.

_All those people…all the preparations…how could that ungrateful little-_

"Where is she?" demanded Lillian, bent on dragging that little bitch to her room and dressing her in that gown herself if need be.

_NO ONE does this to my Nicky and gets away with it while I am alive!_

"She is gone, Lillian. Back to Vegas. Out of Nick's life _forever, _thank god."

His wife turned angrily towards him after that final remark.

"How can you be so uncaring of Nick's feelings?"

"NICK'S feelings? What about Sara? All that she-"

But Lillian was not hearing any of it.

She continued to call Sara's character and family background into question, keeping Logan preoccupied with the argument…

…causing him to drop his gaze momentarily from Nick's face.

If he had been watching, he would have seen the maniacal twist of his lips and the deep seated anger set itself in his eyes.

_She thinks she's gotten away from me…to be with Grissom?_

_Sara is _mine!_…_no_ one else is going to have her_!_…_

_I've waited to take her to my bed, and I'll be damned if I'm going to lose _that_ sweet taste to another man's bed…_

_Especially to a tired old man like Grissom…_

His thoughts fueled his rage and Nick bounded out of the room towards Sara's suite.

Finding the door locked, Nick used his training to knock the door wide open under his powerful kick.

Sweeping through the room, his eyes immediately went to the dresser top, bare except for the note and the shimmer of the engagement ring laying on the smoothed sheet of paper.

The sight of the ring sent Nick over the edge.

He grabbed the ring and jammed it into this pocket.

Spinning around to leave, he spotted Sara's dress on her closet door.

The sight of it made him pause…followed by a small grin playing across his lips.

In one fell swoop, he yanked the hanger off the hook as he began to fold the plastic covered garment in his arms, his feet hurrying into the servant's corridor.

Within a minute, Nick had grabbed his tuxedo and flung that on top of the dress.

Pausing only to pull open his top dresser drawer, Nick pulled the small velvet box from its resting place.

Digging into his pocket, he now placed her engagement ring next to the wedding band Greg was to carry for him.

Placing both rings together, Nick snapped the box closed and shoved it deep into this jean's pocket before racing down the back steps to the kitchen.

As his luck was holding, there was no one in the room as he sped out the door and down the hill.

Praying to remain unnoticed by the group of people now assembled on the front and side lawns, Nick escaped to the nearby grove of trees without being detected.

In the shaded privacy of the grove, Nick yanked open the door of this car that was owned by an old high school pal of his who insisted that this groom needed a "honeymoon getaway" car that would not be easily recognizable by his family and friends.

Nick himself had been an active participant in past wedding stunts involving decorating the honeymoon vehicle, inside and out, with cans, signs, balloons, shaving cream, etc.

So, unbeknownst to anyone including Sara, Nick had set his alarm for the middle of the night yesterday and had brought his and Sara's packed suitcase to this friend's vehicle which the guy had hidden in this exact clandestine location.

Throwing their bridal attire haphazardly in the backseat, Nick fished out the ring box and threw it into the glove compartment.

With narrowed eyes that made no attempt to conceal his disgust over the entire situation, Nick bade the entire wedding scene goodbye as he cranked the engine and head off unseen towards the main highway.

His father's words had burned into his hardened heart:

"_She is gone, Lillian. Back to Vegas. Out of Nick's life _forever_, thank god."_

As he slammed the stick shift into fourth gear, Nick sneered aloud,

"_We'll just see about _that_, dad_…."

--

Having stowed Gil's bag into the cargo hold of the Cessna , the sheriff handed Sara's crutches to her as she settled herself into as comfortable a position as she could find.

"No luggage for your lady?" asked the sheriff, making Gil smile broadly.

_My lady…_

Shaking his head, he replied that she was leaving behind some things and that she would get clothes from her apartment when they returned.

The noise from the propellers had drowned out much of his response, but the sheriff nodded as if he were satisfied with the answer.

Waving to Brass and Billy, Sara blew them both a kiss before being pulled back into Grissom's chest by two strong arms embracing her lovingly.

Leaning back into his embrace, the sheriff motioned that they were about to taxi out.

As he radioed the tower for takeoff instructions, Brass and Billy hopped into the Jeep and drove off a way to safely watch their takeoff.

Inside the plane, Gil hugged Sara softly, kissing her hair and trailing pecks down to her ear as he whispered loudly enough for her alone to hear,

"In a few hours, you will be Sara Grissom…forever…"

He hugged her again and whispered, "I can't wait, honey…I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you the happiest woman in the world."

Sara turned her head over the warmth of his lips, unspeakable joy making speech almost impossible except on a single breath as she exhaled softly near his ear, "Oh, Gil…"


	38. Chapter 38

A/N: Maps at Yahoo helped me find a spot of Texas that was in the same time zone as Vegas, so all times are synchronized…I wrote this between making dinner and cleaning up afterwards…no time to even reread, but you will understand why I needed to get this out tonight…these two have been pestering me all day (they are SO pushy!)…your reviews and reader support remain the true joy of sharing this work…consider this a transition chapter, but hope it pleases…and I am thinking jenstog is going to have sweet dreams tonight, and Meliara will swoon, but that Kateri Bear better grab that box of tissues just in case…remember, there are such things as happy tears…more as soon as I can…bear with any mistakes…you really are terrific!... -Kathy

--

He watched as her sleeping form pressed solidly against his chest. The steady rise and fall of her chest soothed him as his mind drifted back to that day – _was it really just a few weeks ago?_ – when the eroding mountainside threatened to take her away from him.

His joy at escaping from that situation was tempered by the reality of Sara's injuries and narrow escape from being forced down the aisle.

Glancing at his watch, his eyes widened as he noted the time emblazoned on the clock face.

_**12:30 p.m**__._

_Wonder how hard it was for Logan to break the news to the family._

He struggled to suppress the grin that threatened his deliberative state.

_I'd give anything to see ole Lil's face right about now…_

_Not only did the bride run away…she ran away with _me_, Lil's _favorite_ person…_

He might have enjoyed a laugh out loud if he were alone, but he stifled his urge so as not to disturb the rest Sara so desperately needed.

Gil closed his eyes to shield the memories from overtaking his contentment at his present surrounding.

The memories kept advancing.

_I almost lost her twice these last few weeks…once to that muddy landslide…and once to that—_

_-_

He closed his eyes, forcing himself to regain control over his anger towards Nick.

_How could he do something like that to Sara? _

He looked down at his sleeping love.

His eyebrows raised as he moved her hair to inspect the bruising on her shoulders, evidencing the pressure of the distinct handprint that abused her delicate skin.

_I'll kill him. _

He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath. Confronting his raw emotions towards the man who hurt his Sara was dangerous.

The usually passive gentleman became a lion when his protective side reigned over his reason.

_If he ever comes near him again, I'll kill him._

As much as it pained him to admit, Gil was now coming to grips with the fact that he actually would do it…would do anything to protect his Sara.

She stirred slightly and her head flipped to the other side of his chest, causing him to tighten his grip slightly to lull her back into a deep sleep.

After Sara's breathing became deeper, Gil looked out the small window next to his headrest and began to think again.

_When we get back, the first thing I'm going to do is call Cavallo for an emergency meeting._

_Either he ships Nick off to another precinct with a lab, hopefully on the East Coast, or…_

_Maybe we'll move._

_Sara has always loved San Francisco…we had some pleasant memories there…or Boston…_

_I'll follow her anywhere, I'll go _anywhere_, I just want her to be happy…happy with _me_._

He glanced down and pressed a kiss lightly on the top of her disheveled mop of curly hair.

"You make me happy, Sara," he whispered and tightened his grip again, reveling in the feel of her warmth against his chest.

Gil's frown returned when he contemplated how their chance for happiness was almost ruined by Nick's subterfuge.

He shook his head, knowing that he could only press Sara just so far with his desire to nail Nick to the wall.

_Sara will not press charges against him. He lied to her, hurt her physically, and still she will probably find something about him to redeem him…_

Shifting her slightly to keep her head from bobbing forward as she started to wrestle with her nightmarish demons, Gil pressed a kiss to her ear and continued to whisper, "It's alright honey, you're safe with me…I have you…you're safe…"

Within moments, she settled a bit before suddenly sitting up abruptly, her leg throbbing painfully as she was beginning to hyperventilate.

Her eyes wide, she all but screamed, "No! GIL!" before beginning to strain against the arms that held her tightly.

He continued to repeat his whispered refrain, lulling her into a calmer state before she whirled her head around to see his soft smile looking down at her with great concern.

"You are okay, Sara…you're safe…I'm right here…right here," he cooed as she sank back wearily against him and closed her eyes before breathing out, "Gil…".

She bit her lip as she attempted to raise her injured leg back onto the bench seat which Brass had nested with pillows and soft blankets.

What she wouldn't give to stand up and take a stretch.

"Your leg-" he began. "Is fine," she replied.

"Your pain meds-" "Not time for them yet."

"If you're thirsty-" "I'm good for now."

"Do you need anything-""Only you."

They smiled at each other and he helped her rearranged herself before leaning back into his waiting arms, the propeller noise and medication soon pulling her back down into a restorative sleep.

Her nightmare didn't surprise him, but did worry him some.

_No wonder she hasn't slept well this last week…her tremors are still slightly visible, but the shaking has gotten better, I think…_

She was wrinkling her nose in her sleep, causing a huge grin to cross his features, recalling their daisy discussion at the pond.

Even that memory of creating a "bed of daisies" for her was marred by the events of the last few days.

He sighed.

Would his love be enough to help her recover from this traumatic event?

_I need to help her find a way to put this whole ordeal behind her. _

_Maybe a counselor…she wouldn't go…maybe…maybe we could both go…together…_

Hard as it was to admit, Gil was going to need some help handling this overwhelming desire to hurt Nick the way he hurt Sara.

He held her tightly to calm the residual ache inside that he had experienced when he made the difficult decision to leave…

_How could I have left her that way?_

He shook his head bitterly.

_To leave her there…with _him_…_

He turned to look out the window then, trying to still the festering anger that was eating at his soul.

_I know now I could never bear it if something happened to take her away from me…_

_She's my life…_

Gil was glad for the soothing sound of the droning engines. Just as they had helped Sara relax, Gil found his heartbeat slowing and his own eyes drooping.

Holding onto to Sara as if his life depended upon it, he shook his head briskly and readjusted his seat to maintain his vigil.

_There'll be plenty of time to rest after I take care of Sara…_

Gil caught the sheriff/pilot's eye as the man turned and smilingly shouted "Half hour to Vegas!"

_Half hour to Vegas…_

He kissed the top of her curls and smiled.

_Half hour until we begin the rest of our life…together…_

_--_

It was just about half past noon, as Brass and Billy pulled their car into the driveway leading to the ranchhouse.

Jim raised his eyebrows at the cars expertly parked over almost half an acre of green meadow.

The air was filled with the strains of the big band 's repertoire, and guests were milling around the terrace around the back of the house.

Looking at Billy, Jim stage whispered, "I wonder if anyone told them the wedding is _off_?"

Billy just smiled and said, "Well, a party is a party!"

Leaning towards Brass as he walked, he added, "And I for one, am damn _glad_ the wedding is off!"

As they reached the ranchhouse and headed towards the kitchen door, Billy was reaching for the handle when from behind him screeched a frustrated Lillian, "_BILLY_!"

Brass gave no indication that he had noticed the tension in Billy's arm muscles as he slowly retracted his hand and turned to face the angry lady of the house.

"Lil," Billy nodded.

"Don't play games with me, Billy, we've known each other too long for that!"

Neither man made a move as the horse trainer was waiting for Lillian to continue.

"Where is he?"

Billy stood unmoving for a moment, then his eyebrows scrunched up and asked, "Lil, we're just getting back –"

Lillian closed the space between them and glared into his eyes before continuing almost unbelievingly, "And you don't have _any idea_ where he is, is that it?" she waived her hand in "magic wand" motions before finishing.

Brass hadn't been a detective all these years for nothing.

Stepping in front of Billy he looked into these eyes that had brought so much frustration into play the last few days, and found himself wondering now if her agitation was not due to the wedding cancellation alone.

Jim smiled, he hoped not condescendingly, and uttered, "_Who_'s missing, Lillian?"

Perhaps it was because Jim was still wearing his badge, which he donned to fend off any problems at the clinic or the airport.

Perhaps it was because for the first time today, someone was asking for her input instead of overloading her with their information.

Perhaps, it was because in her heart she knew that Brass watched out for all the CSI's in a fatherly capacity, she'd seen Sara's and Catherine's reactions when he spoke.

Perhaps, it was her mother's intuition that was crying out for someone to help her.

Uneasily, she answered in a voice full of false bravado, "No one seems to know what's happened to him…"then her voice broke and she gulped to regain her control.

"Lil," Brass said softly, "it's alright."

"Is it?" she asked coldly, not with a malicious intent, but rather with a spirit of broken dreams.

Jim found his hand on her arm, directing her to look at him as he asked again, "Who's missing, Lil?"

She glanced at his hand and then into his eyes, blankly replying, "Nicky."

The hairs on Jim's head stood straight and he squared his shoulders and said, "Are you sure he's not here? Perhaps he just needed some time alone…"

"No, no he's not here. We've looked everywhere-" Lil began, but was distracted by Brass' interruption.

"His car-"

"Oh, his car is still here. Oh, no…." she started to explain.

"We don't think he's gone away, off the ranch, or anything…"she added quickly.

"Did you check the horses?" Brass inquired in full investigator mode.

He glanced at Billy who was already making tracks towards the stable.

"Oh, I think Logan did, but I assured him Nicky's car was there. I'm sure he's here, but I want to find him…" Lillian added in a motherly tone.

"He must be devastated after being left like that. Can't even imagine-" she turned away as her voice broke again, and although Jim was glad Sara was safe he regretted the pain Lillian was enduring because he himself had felt that pain whenever Ellie got into trouble.

His empathy fell short, however, when Lillian turned back to him and began her tirade about that "miserable girl".

Before Brass felt the need to defend Sara on principle, even without knowing all that Logan had disclosed to him about the situation, Lillian's angry speech was stilled by the presence of her husband's loud proclamation from the kitchen doorway, "Save it for the soapbox, Lillian!"

The look she sent his way could have felled a lumberjack.

Glaring at him, she stomped away without speaking, leaving Brass sending Logan a perplexed look.

"Nick is missing?" was all Jim would say, hoping to dismiss the nagging feeling in his gut – the one, Sara would tease him, that meant they should "call out the troops".

Logan looked over his shoulder towards the empty kitchen before closing the screen door quietly and moving towards the stables, motioning Brass to follow.

When he was sure they were sufficiently out of earshot, he answered.

"The last time I saw Nick we were in his room and I broke the news about Sara being gone."

In full detective mode, Brass saw Logan's expression tighten and decided to let him continue without making a comment.

"Next thing I know, Lillian is in hysterics, guests are arriving, doorbell is ringing –"

"And Nick is missing," finished Brass.

"We've checked everywhere. His car is still parked, the horses are all here. Honestly, I know he has to be here but I wish I could find him."

"To be sure he hasn't done anything…stupid…because Sara called the wedding."

Logan was searching for words as they neared the stables, and they wound up walking through the open archway without further comment.

Billy was shaking his head, anticipating Logan's question.

"Nothing's missing. Every horse, wagon, even the bikes – all here."

Logan sighed in relief.

"At least I know she's alright for now."

Brass looked at Billy in amazement, understanding for the first time that Logan feared Nick had gone off to find Sara, and was not worried that Nick might be so morose as to injure himself intentionally as he mourned the loss of his future plans.

Logan looked at the two men with narrowed eyes.

"I don't care what you think about me…I have to concern myself with Sara right now.

Nick…god I don't even know who he is anymore…"

Moving towards them animatedly, Logan was flailing his hands in aggravation.

"It's supposed to be his wedding day, and he's spending the morning with Sofia in her room for god knows how many hours!"

At this, Brass felt the red flush of anger creeping up his neck.

"Sofia, huh? Well, don't worry…I'll take care of her-" Brass began but was cut off by Logan.

"Oh…sorry…but I had the joy of dealing with that little tramp immediately after tell the guests that there wouldn't be a wedding today…" Logan smiled, in spite of himself.

Brass grinned.

"That, my friend, will be a story to share over a bottle of scotch," and Logan smiled and nodded towards Billy.

"We'll be sure to make that bottle for three," and Billy laughed.

Matters turned serious again as Logan asked Jim, "So how do we proceed?"

Brass smiled slightly and said to both men, "Luckily for you, you are currently housing part of the best team of forensic criminalists in the state of Nevada…"

--

His watch read 12:30 p.m.

Having just crossed the border into New Mexico, Nick had stopped for gas and a to-go order before slipping behind the wheel.

His experience in driving home estimated he had about 11 hours left of a journey that in total would take about 12 hours.

Nick finished the last part of his deli sandwich and gulped the rest of his first bottled water.

He would need to remain hydrated, well nourished on small meals, and drive safely to remain under the radar of any state policemen.

He would not do anything to attract attention to himself, assured that his friend Tim would not think to tell anyone about lending Nick his car, as it was a second vehicle that his friend used mostly for highway trips as he preferred his old rebuilt Mustang for day-to-day driving.

_Tim will keep quiet. He'll feel sorry for me, after dad tells everyone how_ _Sara_ ditched _me_, Nick thought not realizing he was gripping the wheel so tightly the veins in his lower arm were bulging.

_She's with Grissom. He played all his little games, and she went crawling back to him – again!_

_Who was there to pick up the pieces when he broke her heart? ME!_

_She should be with ME!_

_He thinks he can just smile that enigmatic smile and she will just drop everything to be with him._

_Well, sorry Grissom, but it isn't going to happen this time!_

_What's that my mother used to say? "It's all about choices…"_

_Well, choices have been made!_

_You made your choice a long time ago, so you can just go back to your little experiments and your little fetal pig!_

_Sara made choices, too, and I am going to be sure she stays with them._

"_Til death do us part, Sara, til death do us part…"_

His obsession with Sara was overwhelming all other thought.

He wasn't sure exactly _how _he was going to execute his plan.

But he had 11 hours left to figure it out.

--

Having landed safely on a side tarmac used for private planes, the sheriff had radioed ahead and an ambulance was waiting outside the hangar for transport to Desert Palms.

As Sara was being helped from the plane, she noticed the EMTs and stretcher coming towards her, and shot a panicked glance towards Grissom.

"It's okay, honey. They're going to take us to see Dr. Craig. You need to have him check you over," he said in his supervisor's tone.

She began to protest but before she could speak, Gil had hoisted her from her position on the ladder and placed her on the stretcher before leaning in and cutting off her protests with a solid kiss on the lips.

The amused onlookers observed Sara's response to his actions.

"Grissom!" she began with a scowl but was silenced again in a similar manner.

"Gil!" she whined with puppy dog eyes but was silenced again in a similar manner as to the first two attempts to complain.

"Hmmph!" she muttered and surprised him by reaching up to his open collar and pulling Grissom down for a searing kiss before releasing her grip on him.

The lovers smiled into each other's eyes as Sara slumped her shoulders and said, "But please…come with me for the ride over? You know how I hate hospitals."

Gil kissed her forehead and smiled before turning to retrieve her crutches and his bag.

Sara's gurney was moving towards the waiting ambulance as Gil firmly shook the sheriff's hand.

"I'll never forget this, Charlie. Thanks for all you've done to help us."

"Pleasure's been all mine, Gil, really. Logan Stokes has been the go-to guy whenever anyone, including me, has needed a helping hand. Feels good to return the favor."

Gil moved to rush towards Sara who was nervously looking over her shoulder despite the nagging ache in her leg, but his movement was slowed by the sheriff's final message.

"And hey! Good luck to you two! See you in a few weeks, Logan said he's going to take a run up to check on you. Guess I'll see you then!"

"You will!" smiled a very happy Grissom.

_And when Logan comes, we'll already be married…_

That thought made him bubble over with anticipation, and Gil used that adrenaline surge to move even faster to reach Sara's side before the ambulance doors closed behind them.

As they sped away without sirens, the nearby tower clock chimed one.

--

At the same time, on this beautiful ranch outside of El Paso, the mantel clock in Logan's study was displaying 1:00 p.m.

Brass had convened a meeting with Warrick and Catherine, both of whom were very concerned about the cancellation of the ceremony as well as the absences of Gil, Sara, and Sofia.

Getting immediately to the point, Jim told them a very abbreviated version of the tale, highlighting that Sara had chosen to leave the ranch, and Gil accompanied her home to Vegas so Dr. Craig could care for her.

Brass did not elaborate about Sofia, who did not even cross Catherine's radar but conversely was zeroed in on Warrick's screen.

Skimming over the facts, Jim told them the current situation with an AWOL Nick.

Catherine didn't seem to concerned about this either, citing her feeling that he was held up somewhere on this beautiful expanse of a ranch, hiding to lick his wounds in private.

The look that passed between 'Ric and Brass determined that a private conversation would follow, but for now Catherine needed to be impressed by the need to find Nick.

Shaking her head in disagreement, Brass changed tactics.

He played the "parent" card as he explained how Lillian had been searching without success and needed to be sure her only son was alright.

That seemed to strike a chord with Catherine, who now willing agreed to join the search.

Brass split the two story home into search areas, and the three agreed to page the others if they uncovered anything.

As Catherine started up the stairs towards Sara's room, Brass motioned to Warrick to join him back in the judge's study.

The door was closing as Brass looked attentively at Warrick and said, "Now, tell me…"

--

They had been at the hospital for over an hour, Sara being sent for another round of X-rays and then being subjected to a rigorous examination and consult by the head of orthopedics.

When they found themselves finally alone, Gil sat close by Sara's agitated form as she lounged on the cot in the ER examination room.

"Gil –" she startled him by speaking after laying there without speaking for awhile.

"I need to get out of here."

He stood and was concerned about the panic attack he could see forming under the façade of her calm exterior.

"Honey, how long has it been since you took the medication at the clinic," he asked conferring with his watch and noting that it was almost three.

When she didn't immediately answer, Gil flicked his gaze without moving his head.

"Sara?"

She didn't answer.

He sighed and sat down, trying to quell his mounting frustration.

"You didn't take it, did you?"

When she didn't answer again, Gil hung his head before raising it to pin her with his stare.

He looked deep into her brown eyes – and couldn't continue.

Sara was taken aback when he reached over to grab her from behind her neck and kissed her so passionately that she felt her heart stop for a moment in sheer relief.

"You're not angry?" she asked in a small voice.

"Sara," he sighed.

"Honey, I respect how you feel about taking medication. But if you take the medication you will feel better, _faster_," he hoped she would agree.

Sara reached out for him and he leaned into her embrace before seeking to grind his lips into hers.

Gil was lost again in the overwhelming realization that they were now going to be able to do this whenever they wanted…_forever_.

He'd give her the world if she asked for it. _Anything to make her happy_.

_Anything_.

So when Dr. Craig came to discuss how her current injury had created new cracks on several bones and joints that had remained susceptible to injury due to the abuse Sara had suffered during her growing years, Gil wanted Sara to agree to stay for observation and rest after her ordeal.

Seeing her frustration at being outnumbered, and remembering that part of the scarring under Nick's emotional abuse had been inflicted by her lack of control over her fate, Gil made a difficult decision.

_Anything to make her happy._

Gil found himself standing next to Sara, taking her hand in his.

She looked away, not willing to allow him to see the hurt in her eyes as she knew he was going to insist she follow doctor's orders.

Imagine her surprise when he inhaled deeply and told Dr. Craig that Sara would need to recuperate at home and that he would be personally responsible for overseeing her recuperative care.

Initially, the good physician did a double take, expecting as Sara did that he would be supportive of his treatment plan for Sara.

Looking upon Sara's complete change of disposition, however, as she whipped her head around to look adoringly- if not somewhat disbelieving – as Gil smiled down at her, Dr. Craig realized that perhaps Gil's idea would bolster Sara's recovery.

After all, physically there was nothing they could do that outpatient visits couldn't accomplish.

Emotionally, being cared for at home would obviously outweigh the benefits of her being available for impromptu exams if she were admitted to his floor.

The physician smiled as he also realized that Sara would not be out of Gil's sight, and Grissom would be even more fastidious in his observations of her condition than he could possibly be.

Yes, he could release her into such good hands.

Leaving to prepare her release papers, these two found themselves alone again.

This time, as Gil turned towards her, he noticed happy tears forming behind those long lashes as she spoke softly, "Thank you."

He leaned forward to face her directly as he responded in an equally soft tone, "I'd do anything to make you happy, Sara."

Gil kissed her softly, took a deep breath, and grabbed her hand lovingly as he spoke.

"Sara – can you do something for me?"

_Here it comes_, she thought_, a list of Do's andDon'ts that will make me feel like a prisoner in my own home…in his home…in _our _home??_

The thought made her grin and Gil took that as permission to continue.

"Sara, would you do something to make _me_ happy?"

If she had been talking to any other man, she would have expected that question to be followed by a request to engage in something involving leather – or worse.

But looking at this wonderful man, she knew he rarely expressed his inmost thoughts or desires.

_If he wants something that I can give him, how can he even think I might refuse? _

"If it's important to you, all you need do is ask. That's what loving someone means, Gil," she replied sincerely and took his trembling hand in hers.

"Sara," Gil took another deep breath and then realized his nervousness disappeared as he looked into her expectant eyes.

"Sara, will you marry me? Today?"

_There! I did it! All in one sentence! Now…will she say yes?_

As his hand steadied, he realized hers were beginning to tremble.

They sat there looking like a museum statue of the two lovers…staring into each other's eyes as they waited for Sara to recover from the shock long enough to speak her answer.

But her shock of him, wanting to MARRY her, TODAY – well, it would leave any girl speechless.

Worry began to creep into his brow, and suddenly Sara stopped being zoned out long enough to realize his grip was slipping from her hands and he was sitting back into his chair slowly.

"Sara," Gil tried to recoup from the huge disappointment he felt.

_I should have waited…this wasn't the right time…I've made a mess of-_

Now it was Gil whose brain stopped working as his eyes were drawn to his wonderful Sara who was now sitting up from the pillows, tears streaming down her face, smiling as she nodded slowly and deliberately her decisive "Yes".

"Yes?" smiled Gil, hesitantly.

"Yes," she choked out on a breath.

Somehow, they came together in a crushing hug, Gil kissing every inch of her face as his thumbs wiped away the tracks of her tears, as Sara cried and smiled and hugged him again as she whispered in his ear an ecstatic, "Oh, Gil…"


	39. Chapter 39

A/N: Apologies for the delay, and for not having time to reread for errors…you've been so gracious about that…also, I am leaving Wednesday for an unreal anniversary surprise from my wonderful husband…he is taking the entire family to Disney World and we leave Wednesday night…so I will try hard to put up one more chapter before we leave, and then you won't see another until the following Thursday (but it will be a priority)...the story pace is quickening a bit, these two have more in store for us…hope this pleases…they made me smile…thanks to my very wonderful reviewers and loyal readers…you simply remain terrific…more as soon as I can…- Kathy

--

Their departure from the hospital was delayed a bit as Gil wanted to fill Sara's Valium prescription at the hospital pharmacy before they left.

He was leaving no stone unturned in his desire to provide Sara with the best care possible in order to speed her recovery.

As he began wheeling Sara towards the exit doors in her hospital-required wheelchair, Sara snatched the small bottle of medication and threw it haphazardly into the same compartment of her small backpack style purse that safely housed the rest of the Valium samples from the Texas clinic.

His watched beamed 4 p.m. as his smile beamed at Sara while he gently raised her to the passenger seat in his Denali.

Having been driven to the hospital from the scene of his and Sara's near-demise a while back, Gil's vehicle had been brought to this structure and had remained parked in the parking garage adjacent to the site since the day of the accident.

He had been driven to his townhouse and then to the airport to join Logan, Lillian, and Sara for the plane ride to the ranchhouse.

He silently thanked whatever spirit inspired him to keep his key ring on his person when he left for that trip.

_That was a life time ago._

His smile deepened as he turned the key and heard the roar of the engine, comparing its rough and ready tone to that of Logan's Jeep which Gil had used the last few weeks.

_And now, it's time for a new life…with Sara as my wife…_

"Sara?"

Her name flowed from his lips as an endearment as well as an inquiry about her physical condition. Her whole demeanor since leaving the hospital seemed a bit – _off_.

"I'm fine…" she smiled in reply, then added briskly, "…_really_!"

_How could I be anything other than fine? He wants to marry me. TODAY!_

Sara twisted her head away from him, a bit surprised at the bobbing of her head as she turned her neck muscles, to stare unseeing out the window.

_How can I marry him today? TODAY??_

She felt her fatigue was beginning to cloud her judgment, making her worry more pronounced.

_This was to be Nick's wedding day…I don't want to share our special date with anyone else._

_I wonder…will Gil be upset if I ask him to wait?...I need to talk to him…_

Their mind meld proving intact, at that exact moment Gil reached over and gently grabbed Sara's hand until their intermingled fingers rested on the console between the rich grained leather bucket seats.

"Honey…talk to me."

Sara turned her head that bobbed again a bit tiredly, taking in his profile as he kept his attention to the road.

_How I love this man._

_If I know nothing else, I know I will never love another man this way._

_He's such a gift to me….how could I have been so stupid…with Nick-_

And for the first time today, Sara actually _realized_ she had been rescued, pondering in detail instead of just reacting to the fact that she was no longer in danger of suffering Nick's out-of-control behavior.

As flashes of the changes in Nick continued to bombard her thoughts, Sara began feeling a bit…strange…finding herself trapped in a downward spiral of memories, choices, and consequences.

She was so involved in the flashbacks of the last few weeks, she did not notice when Gil pulled into an empty parking spot near an intersection with a busy side street and had shut off the engine.

"Sara?"

Now, Gil had begun to move slowly towards her, unsure of what was causing the furrow to deepen in her brow.

She had not responded when he tried to speak to her, and now in glancing over her silent form, she seemed to be a bit – disoriented? – almost unaware that he was speaking to her.

Not wanting to startle her, he began to lightly massage a circular pattern gently up her arm with no reaction until he touched the tip of her still tender shoulder joint.

This action caused Sara to shudder in pain before hissing loudly in panic, pulling as far away as she could from his touch.

"No, Nick!"

Her response caused his heart to seize. _What is happening to her?_

"Honey! I didn't mean to -…I'm so sorry!" Gil tried to speak calmly as he moved closer to reassure her with his hand rubbing soothingly on her back.

When Sara moved, Gil had the first head-on look of her angry, darkening bruises – and determinedly squelched the anger that boiled within him before speaking again, "Sara…"

She recuperated quickly from the surprise of his attempt to gain her attention.

"Oh!...Gil –… I'm..you're not…hahaha"

It was Sara's turn to startle Gil with her laughter.

He watched her failed attempt at pointing her finger as she spoke, realizing her gaze did not perfectly match up with his eyes.

Gil didn't know exactly how she was feeling, but he knew something was terribly wrong here.

Actually, Sara was feeling _very much _better as Dr. Craig had insisted she take the Valium in his presence.

Her lack of sleep and poor nutrition these last few days had not provided a body-friendly resting place for such a strong medication.

As her body was beginning to absorb the full measure of the digested pill, Sara was experiencing, in exaggerated terms, the disorientation and reduced mental ability that often accompanied the use of this drug in high doses.

She was surprised how disembodied her mind felt.

Sara opened her mouth to speak but was having trouble stringing the sentences together.

Her mind was foggy and her movements a bit disjointed.

When she reached over to him, she lost her balance and would have crashed into the dashboard if her seatbelt had not been fastened.

"Sara!" Gil was calling as she began a descent into a kaleidoscope world, aware of her surroundings, able to hear his words but not fully comprehending them.

Immediately, Gil was dialing Dr. Craig's number.

Luckily, he answered on the second ring, having just reentered his office to return his messages.

Gil condensed her behaviors, and was now waiting for traffic to thin so they could head back to the ER where Sara could be examined by her anxious physician.

But the rush hour was jamming the street and Gil twisted and turned in his seat, his indicator light trying to get them out into the flow of traffic.

Sara was slumped back into the comfort of the padded leather, staring into the dress shop across the sidewalk from where she sat.

And that is when she spotted it.

Like something out of a dream.

It wasn't an ornate, lacy, storybook dress.

Nothing like that horror which Lillian had called "every girl's dream wedding gown".

No.

This was a dress that had lurked in the subconscious realm of two people: the designer who had created this work of art from her imagination - and a young Sara Sidle.

Truth be told, in her whole life, she had never really fantasized about her wedding day.

But throughout her childhood ordeals, Sara would escape the horrors of her situation by retreating into her books.  
Now, looking through the scrubbed and polished display windows, one mannequin caught her eye.

Almost hidden from view, poised just inside the window but dwarfed by larger display forms and racks of clothing, she saw the long brown tresses adorned with a ring of Shasta daisies.

That mannequin was wearing the dress she'd almost exactly envisioned many a damsel wearing in her dreams.

The dress was simplistic, but hardly simple.

An empire waist, basic A-line dress reminiscent of the most beautiful ballerinas…

Covered with an almost transparent layer, tightly gathered from the bodice, creating a courtly appearance, made out of the thinnest, most lustrous fabric- probably silk which allowed it to dance ever so gently with the slightest movement…

The color was the palest white, the shade you find in wispy clouds on a bright and sunny May morning…

The cap sleeves barely covered the shoulders, but were inlaid with the merest hint of mother-of-pearl beading…

_The dress would flutter over her knees and down almost to her ankles as she strolled barefoot through the patch of daisies…_

Sara thought about the daisies Gil had laid out on her bed, recalling how wonderful it felt to…

…_lay wrapped up in their scent…wrapped up in his arms…_

The medication was blurring past from present, thoughts from reality.

In her dreamy state she could imagine herself standing there in this creation which she had envisioned all her heroines wearing as they were rescued from their captivity.

_Rescued…the way Gil had rescued me…from Nick…I was so scared…but he was there…_

_he didn't leave me…he's going to marry me…and take me away someplace safe…I just want to feel safe…_

_he said he loved me…and we'd be married…and I'll wear that dress…I'll wear that dress…_

"I'll wear that dress…" she uttered softly, causing Gil to turn and give her his full attention.

"Sara?" he asked softly, worry inflected in his tone.

When she didn't answer, he followed her gaze, constantly checking between the store and her stare, until he, too, spotted the object of her attention.

He smiled despite himself.

_He could see that dress on Sara, barefoot, as she walked towards him holding an overflowing bouquet of daisies, one or two adorning her curly hair…_

A loud beep caused him to turn away and whip his left hand out his open window in thanks for the kindness of the driver who was letting him finally exit the parking space.

After he extricated them from the spot, he glanced once more towards Sara who had fallen back into a shallow slumber, muttering, "…that dress."

Gil checked his mirrors and began to speed towards the ER.

--

Midway through New Mexico, Nick was pulling into a rest area on the interstate as he checked his watch for the hundredth time.

4:00.

Seven hours left until I get to Vegas.

He sloughed off his fatigue, ruthlessly focusing on the harm that Grissom had inflicted in his relationship with Sara – the memory of which was becoming more distorted as the mile markers taunted him with reminders of the great distance that still lay between them.

Downing the last drops of his coffee, Nick drove the seemingly endless straightaway impatiently, the lack of other vehicles allowing him to pay more attention to his muddled thinking.

Crushing the cup easily in his large hand, he tossed it angrily across the empty passenger seat as it bounced off the closed window and was deflected by the dashboard before landing unceremoniously on the floor before rolling under the seat.

The tension of this angry outburst was visible by the taut muscles of his face.

"Don't worry, darlin'," Nick almost whispered, "he's taken you away from where I know you always wanted to be."

"I'm coming, Sara," he continued as he adjusted himself higher in his seat and stepped on the accelerator to increase the speed currently monitored by his cruise control.

"I'm coming for you, buttercup," he said with more force.

With disdain written all over his features, Nick added, "And then…I'm going to make him pay…."

--

For over three hours the team headed by Brass had searched every nook and cranny of the ranch without luck.

Reconvening at the appointed hour, the mantel clock was just chiming four when Logan finally joined them as he shut the door.

"Anything?" he asked, knowing the answer already.

Brass shook his head. It was becoming apparent that Nick did not want to be discovered.

"Well," Brass began. "We know he's here somewhere. The horses, his car, the guests – all here. There's simply no way for him to have escaped."

Logan flinched at the use of that word to describe Nick's activity.

Warrick looked surprised, wondering aloud about the rest of the story that had been kept from him and Catherine.

Catherine, however, had been spurred into thought.

"Think outside the box" she had heard Gil and Sara say to each other a million times.

"Outside the box…"Catherine mused aloud, causing Brass to explain what she was thinking.

Instead, she stood and left three confused males behind in her quest to get back to Sara's room.

Although she had spent a good deal of time in all the bedrooms over the last few hours, Catherine had been puzzled by the lack of evidence contained within these bedroom walls.

She had spent over an hour between both rooms, spending time just sitting and trying to get into the minds of these coworkers, hoping their separate havens would speak about what had gone so wrong between them.

Perhaps it was the lack of evidence that bothered her most.

She now entered Sara's room hurriedly, swinging open the French doors and moving to the banister.

Yes, she had viewed the ladder before, possibly Sara had prearranged her escape with outside help.

But the disturbed vines and wire had confused her.

_Perhaps Nick had climbed the trellis and had actually abducted Sara, hidden her away somewhere safe, and now had fled to that spot and had spirited her away?_

The other three had joined her on the balcony and she told them her theory.

Logan and Brass shook their head and assured her that they had personally helped in her escape to the airport.

"I helped her down this trellis, and we rode on horseback out to the cabin."

Catherine started to pace. Something was off. It was right here, she could feel it.

What was missing?

She shook her head and surveyed the beautifully appointed room before her.

Nothing seemed out of place. The same in Nick's room.

_Nothing seemed out of place._

"Nothing seems out of place!" Catherine mused aloud angrily, as she stomped towards Sara's bed and plopped down heatedly on the edge of the bedcovering.

The other three nodded.

"I mean, the bed is made, the room is totally in order, the dresser is empty –"

At that, Catheine froze.

Watching her pause, everyone in turn glanced around as if really seeing the room for the first time.

"Nothing is out of place…" Catherine said slowly as she stood in the middle of the room before rushing to the closet to find empty hangars.

"They were going on a honeymoon…she would have packed all her clothing…so…where's her suitcase?"

Logan spun around searching unbelievingly, realizing Sara had nothing with her as she scaled down the balcony wall.

_What is happening here??_

Receiving nothing in way of reply, Catherine closed her eyes and chastised herself mentally for her omission that was so blatantly obvious now.

_There is no suitcase…and, oh lord…  
_Logan raced towards the dresser, the vanity, the bedside table, flinging doors open hopefully.

_There is no ring…I remember she wasn't wearing it…I rubbed her hands as she wrapped them around me on the horse…oh, Nick…what have you done, son?…what is happening here?_

Brass caught Logan's panicked expression but his attention was immediately brought back to Catherine.

She stalked back to the closet doors and threw them open only to be met again with empty hangars and shelves.

"Today there was supposed to be a wedding…" she swung around to meet their eyes as a similar conclusion was forming behind their glances.

"…so…where's the wedding gown?"

--

Dr. Craig had met them at the ER doors, having impatiently called Gil to ascertain their arrival time.

He confirmed that Sara was having an unusually intense reaction to the Valium, and would have to wait for it to wear off, estimating about six hours before it was sufficiently out of her system to take another medication safely.

Gil now understood why Sara was so adamant about not taking any type of pills, preferring to endure a physical pain than seek relief in a bottle.

"You better destroy those pills when you get home, Gil," the doctor warned.

"No telling just how deeply disoriented Sara might become if she were to consume this medication on any type of regular basis."

Dr. Craig gave Gil instructions for motrin use, as he was sure that the entomologist before him was not going to fight Sara if she refused any additional prescription medication.

Gil pocketed the new script, but did not have it filled.

Within fifteen minutes, a very tired Sara was moving towards the car.

Again, Gil hoisted her up into the passenger seat and headed back towards their destination.

Sara was in and out of sleep, closing her tired eyes to rest only to awaken five minutes later with a jolt and a desire to just hear Gil's voice.

She was surprised when she heard that voice saying, "Honey, we're here."

Opening her eyes, her door was being opened by a valet who sported a stunning bellman's suit with the Bellagio logo emblazoned on his pocket.

Still slightly confused, Sara tried to spin her head around to question, "Gil?"

She was startled to hear him on the outside of her door speaking slowly and clearly, "Sara, honey! I'm right here!"

She whipped her head around again as Gil bent in to scoop her out of her seat and place her in his arms.

"Come on, sweetheart. Let's get you inside."

The bellman nodded, puzzled by the demeanor of this beautiful woman who didn't seem – quite right…

Gil set Sara down on a lobby couch near the check in counter.

"Be right back, honey," he smiled and kissed her forehead, happy to be rewarded with a true Sidle smile.

Gil checked them in to the room he reserved as Sara had gone for tests at the hospital, and was pleased to see that Sara was slightly more herself as he scooped her up again to head towards the elevators.

"Gil, your bags!" Sara twisted her head towards the main doors.

"Taken care of honey, relax," he smiled as the elevator doors closed.

Relishing the contact with her in his arms, Gil intended to steal a quick kiss, but Sara reacted so positively that they were still liplocked as the doors dinged to signal they had reached their destination.

Sara's eyes opened wide as the doors opened directly into their honeymoon suite.

"Gil!" she whispered in shock, shaking her head to try in vain to clear it totally from the fog that continued to cloud her thoughts.

"The penthouse suite?"

He smiled as he moved them towards the king-sized bed, gently leaning over to deposit his prize onto the softness of the surface.

"For you, my lady," he kissed her again before retrieving the other pillows to create a soft area for her to recline upon, " only the best."

More seriously, he answered, "Forever."

Sara closed her eyes and smiled. Even in her fog, though, she worried about asking him to wait.

"Gil…" she began, and he immediately sat next to her, trying to read her expression for signs of pain.

"Can we…would you _wait_?" Sara pushed out and then opened her eyes to see his only inches away.

_But I love this man…I don't _want_ to wait…not another moment…to begin our lives together…forever…_

This internal debate was interrupted by Gil's hand squeezing hers tightly as he smoothed her hair away from her tired face.

"Sara? Are you…have you changed your mind about-"

It was his turn to be interrupted by her lips pressing his, preventing further speech.

She looked into the blue depths of his eyes and said, "I love you, Gil. Always have. Always will. Forever."

He sighed and placed his forehead over hers, watching their fingers interlock.

He needed to feel her this way, close and attached to him, knowing she was safe.

His Sara was safe, away from that maniac who almost tricked her to walk down that aisle today.

_Today!_

_Of course, she couldn't get married to me _today_!_

Gil moved back and said earnestly, "You're right, Sara. Today is not OUR day."

She looked up at him then with such love, happy that he understood her conflicting emotions about marrying him today.

Gil thought he could die right now a very happy man to have been loved so well by this woman of his dreams.

Before she could speak, Gil added, "So…how's about _tomorrow_?"

This statement made Sara laugh right out loud, feeling a bit better with each passing hour.

"Fine," she said, mostly to get a rise out of him as she knew how he abhorred listening to her answer using that cryptic word.

Gil gave her a knowing nod of his head, and she laughed again until her lilting tones made his heart swell with love.

"Fine," he returned and plucked his cell phone out of pocket and walked through the gilded doorway leading into the parlor area of the suite.

As he flipped open the phone, he was greeted with a time notation reading "5:00 p.m."

--

Somewhere near the state line leading into Arizona, Nick was slowing to a coast inside the parking lot of a rest area.

Noting the time before he left towards the food court, desperately craving hot coffee to keep him awake, a slow grin spread across his face.

_5:00 p.m….only about six hours left…I'm comin', darlin'_

--

Fifteen minutes later, Gil was signing off with his thanks and moving towards Sara hesitantly as her eyes were closed and he wondered if she had fallen asleep.

"Gil?" she whispered, raising her hand to bid him closer.

"Sleep now, honey. It's going to be a busy night."

"Oh?" she inquired, the mystery spurring her to full consciousness.

"You rest. I want you to feel your best on your wedding day."

"Gil," she wondered as her confusion seemed to be amusing him.

"I thought we were not getting married today. Did you change your mind?" she asked cautiously.

"Nope. I have it all arranged, Judge Williams will be here tonight about 11:30."

"p.m.?" asked a confused Sara?

"That's correct, my dear," Gil spoke, happy to have the first chore on his to-do list complete.

"Wait…so when do we plan to be married, again?" she asked, now totally confused.

Gil laughed and held her gently, barely touching her bruises with his lips.

"We will be married tomorrow…._12:15_ _a.m_. tomorrow…." he added as he continued to nibble on her ear.

"Gil-" Sara started to push him away, panicking slightly in remembering that she had arrived with only the clothes on her back.

"Sara," he soothed and kissed her soundly before continuing, "do you trust me?"

This question stopped her protests and caused her to relax against him before whispering into his shoulder, "You know I do…"

He laid her back upon her pillows and looked into her eyes seriously.

"If you trust me, take a rest, you need it to recuperate. And I have a few things to do."

He pulled the script out of his pocket, but she snatched it before he could speak.

"No! NO more medication!" she spoke as she tucked this deeply into her front pocket.

He sighed.

"Alright, but…,"he sighed," Just rest…and don't worry about anything, _please_, honey," he put on his best pouting face.

She raised her hand and smoothed his cheek as she had done long ago when he was worried about his pulse rising.

"I trust you."

If his heart had not been filled with love for this woman before, it was now overflowing with the simple knowledge that she loved him enough to give him her trust, something Sara Sidle did not do easily.

As Gil began leaning in for another kiss, Sara began to recall all the details that would need attending to.

Her protests were silenced by a lengthy, loving meeting of the lips.

As he pulled away, he was standing and tugging at the coverlet, loosening it enough to cover her comfortably.

"Now, bride – to – be, get some rest. And that's an order!" he said in his supervisor's tone.

Despite herself, Sara laughed and closed her eyes as she snickered, "Oh, Gil…"

--


	40. Chapter 40

A/N: Try as I might, this is the last late night post until I return from vacation to post the next chapter…shorter than I wanted, but time just ran out...Hopefully I have left them in a happy place, for now…tension is building, however, and I was stunned to see just how many readers have anticipated what is to come…you really have used your CSI skills impressively!...thanks to all who continue to review, and to support with reading this labor of love…sigh…came upon my old CD with the soundtrack for How to Lose a Guy in 10 days…before the next chapter, check out Chantal Kreviazuk's song "Feels Like Home" (the movie background for their Take A Shower Together scene at his parents' house)…I thought as I heard it that Gil and Sara would agree that this would be "their song"…thanks for the continued support…hope this pleases…all mistakes are mine...you remain terrific! – Kathy

--

Brass slammed his cell shut with an annoyed gesture, the phone cover mocking _7:00 p.m_. in bright light from its protective window.

"No luck?" Catherine asked already understanding the answer.

"Keeps going to voicemail," he snapped, then closed his eyes only to open them to understanding ones.

"Maybe –" she tried to play devil's advocate, "maybe Nick just got angry and wanted the clothing out of sight…then took off into the woods around the ranch for some privacy…"

Brass continued to keep his eyes fixed on Catherine's.

"That _bastard_ took off after her, I can _feel _it, and now Sara is going to feel the full brunt of Nick's rage!"

He sighed and closed his eyes again, shaking his head dejectedly.

Catherine saw the pained emotions in his gaze as he reopened them and concluded, "And there's no way to alert them to the danger."

"I should have seen this coming…" Brass' shoulders sagged a bit as he exhaled and abruptly turned and stalked out of Nick's room.

In the midst of debating whether to follow after him, Catherine heard Logan's voice quietly asserting, "If anything happens to Sara…"

She turned to see this usual tower of strength collapse into a wing-back chair near the open veranda doors as he added, "…it's all my fault."

She moved compassionately towards this man, beginning to fully realize how much Sara had captured his heart.

Speaking slowly, she said, "Logan…this isn't-"

Logan startled her by jumping to his feet and snarling, "MY FAULT!"

He started to pace furiously, working off his anger with each stride.

"_I_ knew it! Brass knew it! Hell he even _challenged_ me to do something about Nick…but NO!..."

Logan glared at Catherine who by now realized this father needed to vent before his worry consumed him.

"He's my _son_, dammit!...I wanted to protect him…I thought if I confronted him, that I could make him see how he had hurt Sara, how he needed to mend his ways, perhaps help him get counseling…" his voice petered off, strangled by a sob he refused to release.

Limp from the internal chaos, he retreated slowly to the wing-back chair, leaning back in defeat.

"And now…now he is going to find her…my god, I shudder to think what he'll do…when he finds her…"

"IF he-" she began, but was again cut off by Logan's sneer.

"WHEN he finds her…he's obsessed…out of control in his desire to possess her…she's so fragile, yet so determined…she'll resist him…but Nick…he's…so…"

He fought back a tear and turned silently towards the beautiful early evening sky.

From the hallway, Brass' voice intoned, "Gil is with her. He'll guard her with his life."

Without turning towards him, Logan replied, "_That _is what I am most afraid of…"

--

Gil glanced at the bank tower clock across from the red light, reminding him that he had left a sleeping Sara almost two hours ago.

She had fallen asleep almost immediately, the effects of the Valium only slightly dwindling, so Gil had left her a note and placed it by her bedside under his cell phone.

He had remembered to turn it off before leaving, he didn't want the ringing to bother her just in case he got a call…

Who was he kidding?

… _in case Nick tried to contact them, he didn't want Sara confronting him alone.._

That worry had been sent to the back of his mind, but continued to sneak forward when he least expected it.

_But tonight we'll be married, and then…well, then Nick will have to realize Sara will never be with him._

A beep from a car buried in the traffic line behind him brought him back to the reality of the green light shining overhead.

As he pulled forward towards his last destination, Gil smiled at the thought.

_Sara will be with _me_…forever…_

He knew the team would understand their decision for a private ceremony, with Brass staying behind there Gil felt everything in Texas would be under control.

_Sara will feel safe. And I promised her she would be safe with me._

_She will finally have that happy ending she always felt would escape her._

Gil was now second guessing his decision.

When he left the suite, he had decided to leave his phone in case Sara wanted to contact Logan or Brass upon awakening.

Besides, he reasoned, his mental list of things to do was not that long and he hoped to be back in the suite before she awakened.

Almost everything had been procured in under two hours, the benefits of knowing people in important places in Vegas.

But right now, he was wishing he could call just to check on her, making sure she felt safe.

Gil stepped up his efforts to check off the last, most important detail on the list.

_One more stop to make and I'll be heading back – to my Sara._

His feet almost didn't touch the pavement as he ran into the jeweler's showroom.

Immediately recognized, Marvin excused himself from the winning high rollers who had come in to flash their wad of casino winnings around to buy some gaudy, expensive trinket to wow the girls into a night of "fun".

Pawning his clients off to his head sales clerk, Marvin was already moving towards Gil with his hands outstretched.

"Dr. Grissom-" he smiled and received a warm smile in return, "good to see you again!"

Gil looked around and noted the new security system the jeweler had installed at Gil's recommendation after he had investigated the gang-executed robbery.

Pointing upwards, Gil smiled, and Marvin chimed in confidentially, "Yes, and they gave me a good discount, thanks to your referral!"

"SO!" the happy jeweler clapped his hands together, "HOW may I help YOU?"

Gil discussed his need to find a unique but simple wedding band set, Marvin nodding in understanding.

"Here comes the hard part, Marvin," he moved in closer, "I'd like to get them engraved…while I wait…"

Gil expected all kinds of reactions, but Marvin surprised him by whipping out an order blank and moving it towards him, followed by a fountain pen.

"Write out the sentiment," Marvin began, "and I will personally engrave it while you wait."

Happily surprised, again tonight having another success in finding exactly what he wanted, Gil took the pen and wrote out seven capital letters.

Marvin turned the pad back towards him, a bit puzzled.

"That's it?" he looked up to see Gil smile and answer, "Says it all."

It took Marvin 30 seconds to recommend a tray of white gold bands for his inspection.

One set had a narrow width, its edges deceivingly looking a bit darker because of the inlay of butterflies stamped into the gold.

"This is a new line of jewelry, named the Butterfly Effect," Marvin began with Gil nodding in understanding.

"Based on MIT's Edward Lorenz' theory. Quite fascinating actually," Gil continued, getting sidetracked talking about his favorite topic.

"Recently, I read an article from a correspondent from the Boston Globe about Lorenz' theory becoming a metaphor for the existence of seemingly insignificant moments that create threads of cause and effect that appear obvious in retrospect, changing the course of human life."

Gil smiled.

Leaning forward, he raised one of the rings to a closer inspection, adding, "Sounds perfect."

Marvin smiled, "Good, good, and now…the size of the lady's ring?"

Gil produced a small string he had tied around Sara's finger before leaving.

Almost sheepishly, he handed over the chuckling jeweler.

"No need to feel embarrassed, Dr. Grissom. We find many ingenious methods that lovers will go to in order to surprise their mates!"

Within twenty minutes, the rings were engraved, polished, and presented to the waiting groom-to-be.

Grissom found himself whistling along the short distance back to his Denali.

Hopping in and securing his treasure in the glove compartment for safety, Gil turned and surveyed his purchases and his tuxedo that he had retrieved from his 30 second visit to his townhouse.

_Ready or not, _Gil smiled as he pulled out into traffic and headed back towards the Bellagio.

With help from the valet and the doorman, Gil had retrieved a hotel luggage cart and placed the clothing on hangars and the boxes onto the cart.

He began moving towards the opening doors leading to the lobby when he startled the doorman by bolting past him up a length of the driveway, banging on the rear window of the Denali.

When the valet braked, Gil ran up to the passenger side door, flung it open to reach for the glove compartment latch.

Smiling though a bit embarrassed, he shrugged and simply stated, "I won't be doing much without these!"

Gil didn't know if he was flushed from the run or the excitement of the approaching hour.

"I'm getting married in the mornin'- " he crooned under his breath as he retrieved his luggage cart from the smiling doorman, and made his way towards the penthouse elevators.

As the doors slid closed, the antique grandfather's clock in the lobby chimed eight times.

--

Halfway through Arizona, Nick almost threw his pay-as-you-go cell phone out of his open car window.

He had tried to call Sara's cell every hour on the hour for the last few hundred miles, each time going to voicemail.

His paranoia was reaching new levels, and he began to envision Grissom refusing to let Sara answer because he knew it was Nick calling.

Nick became increasingly angered towards Grissom, and without thought, dialed Gil's number to give him a piece of his mind while demanding to talk to _his_ future wife.

When the call went to voicemail, Nick lost it.

After pounding his fist on the wheel, and shouting some epitaphs, Nick could not longer take the confines of the vehicle.

He maintained his control for the next two miles, before careening off into a rest area on the side of the road.

He got out of the car and slammed the door angrily, pacing furiously up and down the nearby walkway.

He was debating what his exact moves should be when he finally arrived back in Vegas, when he was brought out of his thoughts by the older woman who now stood before him.

"Wedding day jitters, eh?" the woman spoke with a smile.

Nick was at first unsure of exactly what was being said to him.

"Excuse me?" he asked warily.

The older woman nodded towards the car.

"Wedding gown, and tuxedo, suitcases…you wearing a ring…I'd say there's a wedding about to happen!"

Nick smiled at the enthusiasm the older woman exhibited.

"I love weddings," she continued, sighing as her Pomeranian tugged at its leash to continue their exercise romp before heading back to their Winnebago.

"Where's the lucky girl right now?" the nosy elder asked.

"Waiting for me…she's…waiting for me back home," Nick spoke, half believing his own lie.

"Aw, well…good luck to you. George and I have been married for over 45 years. Good times and bad."

She laughed as she spoke.

"I remember our honeymoon night. I was so nervous, I actually think George had to get me drunk just so I wouldn't hold up all night in that hotel bathroom!"

Nick smiled as she continued.

Leaning towards him she whispered, "Son, the trick of a long and happy marriage is to not let anything come between you. If you cling to each other _only_, the rest of the nonsense gets sorted out."

She patted Nick on the arm before calling her dog and making her way back up the walkway.

Nick felt like his encounter with the woman was a sign from above.

"Sara…" he spoke softly, as if he believed she could hear him.

His thoughts remained on the old woman as he eased the car back onto the interstate.

"_Cling to each other only_…away from everyone who could influence and contaminate what we have."

Nick settled down into a comfortable position and set the accelerator of the cruise control slightly higher than the speed limit.

With the sun setting, he felt a bit bolder driving under the cover of darkness.

_I'm coming, Sara…I'm coming to get you…hang on, honey…soon, you'll be back in my arms…where you should be…_

_Away from Grissom…and how he's poisoned you against me…_

_Then we'll get married and I'll take you away someplace safe…far away from everyone…_

_And then we will cling to each other only…_

Nick was so deep in thought that he all but dismissed his dashboard clock as the digital tumblers rolled over to announce the eight o'clock hour.

--

Sara had slept through Gil's absence, and he made little noise as he set out the hangars, unpacked the bags and boxes he had bought on his shopping spree.

Moving towards the bed, he was about to lean down and press a kiss to Sara's forehead, before deciding to check his cell phone for messages.

Perched on the edge of the mattress, Gil barely had time to reach for the phone before Sara stirred in the bed next to him.

She opened her eyes enough to see him there, and he released the phone as he leaned forward to kiss her awake, when her grimace made him sit up and take notice.

"Honey, do you have pain?" he asked, his eyes roving over her body as he moved the covers to inspect her injuries.

"No," was the quiet reply.

"Sara-" Gil spoke with a slightly warning tone.  
"A little," she signed, "but it's manageable."

"Maybe you should take-"

"No more pills, I told you, no more!" Sara was now _fully_ awake, and she surprised him with her insistence.  
Gil began the subtle verbal sparring these two had perfected to an art from these last few years back at the lab.

"Sara Sidle! You are the most stubborn, unreasonable-"  
"_I'M_ unreasonable!" she almost shouted, pulling herself up slightly with much effort.

"If you take them when you need them, you won't need to take as much or for that long a time!" he countered, only to be interrupted from continuing.

"Those damn pills made me _out of my mind_! If you think they are so wonderful, YOU take them!" she said heatedly, slinking back into her pillows, eyes blazing with a stare that dared him to blink first.

Gil couldn't help but smile.

_This is the Sara I've known for years. _

_So headstrong, so unwilling to compromise when she feels she's right._

_This is the woman who raised my blood pressure on _more_ than one occasion over the years._

_These last few months, with Nick, she was just so…different…not like this…not her _real_ self._

Gil shrugged off the steam that was rising as he thought of Nick's bullying and abuse.

_But now, I can see the old Sara making a comeback...slowly…but it's there…._

_Only this time, I won't screw up, not this time._

_God, how I love this woman._

Sara had dropped her angry stare, and started to rub the side of his face in concern as she could see he was lost in thought, hoping she had not been too hard on him with her protests.

Gil felt her hand on his face, and turned his attention to her face – and those oh, so inviting lips.

"Yes, dear," he spoke as he moved closer eyeing her lips.

Sara had to smile in spite of herself.

"Damn straight," she protested with a fake pout as she tried to lighten the mood, feeling a bit silly over her previous outburst – after all, he was just concerned about her.

In her heart, she knew Gil would keep his promise to defer to her wishes pertaining to her care.

Gil laughed as he leaned forward and pinned Sara to the downy head rests with a kiss so soft that Sara swooned, despite her efforts to remain in control of the situation.

"Whatever you want, honey," he continued as he kissed her nose, her cheeks, her eyes, her jaw line, and began towards her ears as he whispered, "your wish is my command."

At this, Sara hummed feeling her eyes close as her desire for him built.

For a moment, she couldn't speak, but words were not necessary.

After a need for air became a priority, Gil raised his head to stare into her eyes, speaking honestly:

"I love you, Sara. Forever."

He hugged her to him gently, causing Sara to break out her widest grin as she snuggled close and pulled him tighter, whispering, "Oh, Gil…"


	41. Chapter 41

A/N: The vacation was extended through the weekend, with my husband now really unable to top such a wonderful vacation. This chapter is **rated a strong T** for intimate behaviors, but hey these two are getting ready for their wedding day! Nothing smutty, but sigh…anyway, I am off to work at noon, and I didn't get them to where I wanted them to be. I promise to get them to their wedding in the next chapter, and I hope to publish that either late tonight or tomorrow for sure. Thanks to all who left reviews and to all who support this story by reading. Your patience will be rewarded by frequent updates this week, ON MY HONOR…you remain terrific! No time to reread for errors, I'll fix them soon as possible. Hope this pleases…sigh…if my husband wasn't so great, I'd want to marry Gil myself…-Kathy

--

The steaming water was scented with a hint of vanilla released from the bubble mountain that was all but bursting over the sides of the luxurious whirlpool bath.

Sara lounged peacefully against the small neck pillow that kept her head the only body part that was not engulfed by the watery heaven.

Gil had resisted, albeit only with the greatest restraint, all her attempts to seduce her fiancé when she had fully awakened.

Instead, he had carried her into the mammoth bathroom suite, and had begun to fill the two-person tub with the soothing liquid as he helped shed her travel clothes.

Concerned about her injury, Gil knelt before her to help slide her garments carefully over her ankle.

Focused on tempting him to reconsider her offer, Sara waited until Gil's breath was lightly covering the inside of her thigh as one large hand pulled cloth while his other hand supported her calf off the floor.

Once the clothing was slipped carefully over, Gil began to lift his head intending to stand up when he suddenly found Sara's hands on the back of his curls pulling him towards her.

He growled as her scent overpowered his willpower, instinctively reaching behind her to grab her backside and pull her towards him.

They stood there intimately for a moment, Sara closing her eyes as she relished the feel of his lips on her lower anatomy.

Shaking his head as he pressed his lips more forcefully for a final kiss, Gil slid his hands around to the side of her hips and groaned as he pushed her away from him.

"Oh…no, please don't stop…" Sara pouted a bit as she tried to move forward back into his embrace.

Gil sat back on his haunches, eyes closed for a long second before reaching up to run his open palms on her stomach.

"Honey…let's wait…a few more hours…"

"No…" she pouted, giving him her best puppy dog eyes.

"_Sara-_" his voice warned as the circles he was making on her stomach area deepened in range and in intensity.

She sauntered closer to him, her swinging hips capturing his gaze.

Sara laughed naughtily as she saw his eyes darken and felt his hands dip lower onto her patch of brown curls.

"_Gilbert_-" she spoke seductively, suddenly yelping out loud as his hands swept behind her knees and carefully lowered her to cushiony carpeted surface.

He covered her with his body, her fingers ripping at the hem of his shirt, yanking it higher to feel him against her.

Gil peppered her with hot kisses, his hands roving frantically over her lithe frame, unable to get close enough to her.

His lips continued their assault on her neck and began to glide over to her shoulders when his movements screeched to a halt as he heard a poorly disguised yelp of pain.

Moving quickly off her, Gil cupped her face anxiously, "Sara? How did I hurt you? Please, honey, talk to me!"

Sara opened her eyes which had shut as she tried to cope with the pain that shot through her shoulders when the pressure from Gil's lips depressed the bruises Nick had inflicted earlier.

"You – you didn't…hurt me…" she lied as she looked up into his eyes.

Immediately, Gil looked back onto the ugly darkened areas that seemed to overwhelm her lily white shoulders.

He looked into her eyes and reverently kissed her lightly on the lips, moving to her cheek, her jawline, and continued to her shoulders where his fingers glided over the pattern of bruising only to have his lips cautiously retrace the path.

Sara sighed as he moved back to her lips, ending his kissing trail with the sweetest of touches to her upper and lower lips before his emotions spilled over and he enveloped her with a bone crushing hug.

"You're safe now, honey. I'll keep you safe – with my _life_ I'll keep you safe," he vowed as he kissed her again urgently.

Though her passion was unfulfilled, Sara found the sanctuary of his arms soothing and pleasurable enough – for now.

Looking up into his serious expression, she smiled lovingly before putting the depth of her feelings into the lightest brush of airy kisses that she dotted over the corners of his mouth.

Her actions caused his grim expression to change after a few seconds, and she smiled at a job well done.

"Now," she breathed out against his lips, "if I remember correctly, we were just about to-"

"Wait," he pulled away slightly, kissing her firmly before moving to stand, "we were just about to _wait_ until after I made an honest woman of you," he finished with a smirk.

Before her protests disintegrated his last shred of resolve, Sara found herself hoisted smoothly into the air as Gil headed towards the tub almost overflowing with glistening bubbles.

She groaned as she felt his extended hands gliding a bit tightly over her body as he leaned over to deposit her into the soothing warmth.

He chuckled as he expertly dodged her hands as she reached playfully to tug him forward to join her for a long soak.

"Sorry, my dear, but while the bride-to-be is relaxing, there is still much to be done before _you _can become the most beautiful bride in Vegas," he spoke before leaning in to capture her lips once more.

He knew if he didn't leave right then, they would be late for their own wedding.

"Very well then, sir," Sara pouted.

Leaning forward suggestively as the bubbles created an opaque covering for her cleavage, Sara almost whispered, "But just you wait until our honeymoon! I'll show you a whole new meaning to the words _'I do'_ !"

Gil gulped visibly and Sara let out a laugh as he stumbled backwards missing the doorway and slamming his shoulder into the doorjam in his effort to disappear from the room while his eyes were locked onto the sight of her lounging in the tub.

"Mrs. Gil Grissom," Sara sighed as she relaxed fully into the warmth of the tub.

"Yes, this is going to be _fun_!" she murmured as she closed her eyes.

For the first time since she had found herself gown hunting in that bridal shop with Lillian and the girls did she find herself truly excited about being married.

The soak felt wonderful on her injury and after a few minutes, Sara realized she was almost pain free as the throbbing was eased considerably by the leg and ankle sitting immobile in the hot water.

Her eyes closed, and Sara listened to the hum of the suite's stereo playing a classical etude in the background, drowning out Gil's activities.

_Gil had promised to keep me safe, "…with his life…"_

She knew he would do _everything_ to keep her safe.

Finally, Sara's thoughts moved away from the ranch and all that had transpired there.

_In a few hours, I will become the wife of the only man I ever really loved._

_In a few hours, I will be happy…for the rest of our life together._

_In a few hours, I will finally begin to live a real life "happily ever after"._

For this moment all was peaceful and calm in Sara's life, and as she could vaguely hear his movements in the other room, she realized she was fully relaxed and finally feeling _safe_.

She couldn't help the smile that graced her face as she snuggled down further into the warmth of the bubble bath, all but ignoring the chiming of the mantle clock striking the ninth hour.

--

Speeding past a marker signaling the Nevada border was still more than an hour away, Nick cursed as he realized his car would need refueling before then.

Taking the next exit, he drove the few blocks to the nearest station and glanced at his watch as he plunged the nozzle into his gas tank.

_Nine o'clock._

His nostrils flared on an angry inhale of fresh air and gas fumes.

_We were supposed to be arriving at our hotel about now. At the airport so we could catch an early morning flight._

_I never told her where we were going._

_She would have liked it there, miles away from everyone and everything._

_Just the two of us, spending hours in bed, making love on the beach , lounging on the hammock on the front porch of the log cabin and making love under the stars…_

Nick could feel his body reacting to the mental images that haunted him.

_Half an hour from the nearest little town, we'd be totally on our own…_

Grandma Stokes had taken Nick and his oldest sister with them only once as their grandparents visited this getaway that had been in her family for generations.

Due to the great distance from Texas where she settled with Grandpa Stokes at the turn of the century, she had only been able to return to her family's vacation getaway only twice upon her leaving.

When Nick was about six years old, Lillian had reluctantly agreed to allow him and his older sister to accompany their grandparents for the trip.

Nick had loved the excitement of the two month long road trip, including the drive which had taken almost two weeks one way on the scenic route from Texas to the Oregon border.

_The cabin at Summer Lake…Paisley, Oregon…no one even cared that Grandma Stokes left it to me all those years ago._

He recalled their last night before returning to Texas. She had found him just sitting out on the porch staring at the stars.

"Nicky! You'll catch your death of cold!" Grandma had scolded, placing a blanket over his shoulders as she hugged him to herself.

"Sorry, Grandma, it's just-" he had lowered his head, unable to finish his thoughts as he felt no one would understand.

But Grandma had always shared a special bond with her only grandson.

"Oh, Nicky…but I do understand…" she spoke softly, and he raised his head to look her squarely in the eye.

"If my mother hadn't insisted on city school after I graduated from the here, I never would have met your grandfather."

She smiled in spite of herself at the memory.

"I would surely have lived here happily for the rest of my days."  
"Why did you leave then? HOW could you leave – this?" the young voice had asked, amazed again at the beauty of the starry stillness before him.

"Your grandfather had a chance for a good job in Texas. How could I leave him?"

Nick nodded, almost understanding. He might have been young, but he saw his grandparents were still in love after all those years of marriage.

"He was my life now. My life was wherever he was. Can you understand that, Nicky?"

The young boy leaned towards his grandmother and she hugged him to her.

"But still, Gram-" he moved away again to challenge the evidence before him, a budding criminalist even then.

"Don't you miss _this_?"

They sat silently for a few moments, basking in the natural wonder that spread before them in the unobstructed moonlight.

"Yes," Gram breathed almost silently.

"With almost every beat of my heart."  
As she realized that Nick was looking at her completely befuddled, she laughed and hugged him tightly.

"I guess I just loved your grandfather more than this – with _every _beat of my heart…"

Nick now finished returning the nozzle to its position on the pump.

Getting back into the car, he remembered the lesson his grandmother had taught him that day.

That it is possible to love where you are no matter where your dreams lie.

"As long as you have the right person next to you," he muttered.

Now he found himself merging onto the highway that led him towards the person he claimed as his true love.

He smiled as his thoughts began to lay out a roadmap to happiness for him and for Sara, as the dashboard clock read 9:30 p.m.

--

Meanwhile, Brass and Logan were pacing the airport lounge waiting for the sheriff to return from filing his flight plans.

Slamming shut his cell angrily, Jim cried out in frustration, "Just turn on your damn phone!"

Catherine walked over to him, but he was not in the mood to be calmed.

"First I have no idea where they have gone once they left the airport! Then Gil has his damn phone off and his mailbox is full of our messages!"

Jim sat down only to pull himself up again agitatedly. He glanced at his watch.

"9:30 already! If he flew out of here after them-"

"There is no record of Nick being on any flights out of this airport," Warrick chimed in, hoping to appease some of Jim's anger.

"Listen-" Jim wagged a finger at him menacingly, "that bastard wants to get to Sara, and he _will_!"

"Have you tried Sara's phone?" Catherine asked of a very quiet Logan seated near the open doorway.

"Only once. Her phone went to voicemail, but we agreed not to leave any messages for her yet. I don't want her upset."

He was quiet for another moment before absently adding, "No, she's been upset enough. We need to speak to Gil."

"We _need_ to _get to Vegas_!" Jim shouted, his desire to protect Sara from an angry Nick consuming him on every level.

"Dammit!" he cried, raking his hands through his hair.

"Damn fog! I knew we should have driven!" Jim wailed and turned away from the group, not wanting them to see that his worry was bringing him to the breaking point.

"He won't hurt her, Jim. He's in love with her. He'll-" Logan began but was silenced by the strides of an angry Brass in his direction.

"He _did _hurt her. He _has_ hurt her. He _will_-" Jim's voice broke but he continued to stare down the judge.

Gulping hard, Brass glared at Logan before his anger choked out, "And if Nick touches Sara again, _I_ will end _him_."

The rising confrontation was stalled by the arrival of the pilot, who was curious as to what had transpired in his absence.

Moving away from Brass, Logan strode towards his friend and asked, "Good news?"

Waiving his flight plans before him, Charlie smiled and said, "Twenty minutes and we're good to go!"

"How long until we get to Vegas?" Brass insisted, already moving to gather his jacket.

Glancing at his watch that read 9:30, the sheriff smiled and answered, "With any luck, we should be standing on the Strip by midnight."

--

While Sara soaked, Gil was happily finishing the last minute surprise for Sara.

Knowing that she would be unwilling to walk down the aisle in crutches, and knowing that Jim was really the only person she would want to walk her down the aisle, Gil's imagination had gone into overdrive to solve the problem creatively.

Once Sara was sequestered to the tub, he went to work.

Having removed all the items from the luggage cart, Gil took the cherrywood desk chair and placed it onto the luggage rack.

He removed the top sheet from their king-sized bed and draped the satin softness over the chair, fitting it to drape beautifully over the polished wood, tucking under the edges so that they completely covered the red carpeted surface of the gleaming brass cart.

Stepping back, he was pleased with the result.

_It looks like fluffy clouds on a summer afternoon._

Next, Gil unpacked the large bag of fragrance blooms.

He had visited the floral warehouse off the strip, and bought every daisy that had not been designated for hotel delivery.

As the flower was in short supply, the manager had directed Gil to the silk flower depot in the next block, where he had purchased all the daisy chains they had left in stock.

Between the real and silk blooms, Gil felt he had enough to complete his project.

Taking two lengths of silk chain, he fashioned them to the top of the material covering the chair on both sides, creating the illusion of a tree swing made of daisy vines.

Pleased with the effect, Gil continued to wind the remaining chain over the length of the top bar of the cart, finishing the effect by scattering the eight dozen fresh flowers over the floor of the cart.

Finally, he reached in another bag to pull out the last dozen daisies, which the manager had graciously arranged, tied, and fitted with lace streamers to create a simple but elegant bridal bouquet.

Gil placed the bouquet on the seat of Sara's bridal "swing".

He stepped back to take in the sight of his creation, and became lost in his thoughts as he envisioned Sara holding the bouquet, barefoot among the daisies, her hand extended towards him as he slipped on the rings bearing his promise, his heart…

The mantle clock chimed ten times, shaking Gil out of his reverie.

There was still much to do, and his time was running out.

Checking on Sara, he smiled as she looked so peaceful, almost asleep.

He placed a hand in the water, and noting that it had cooled slightly, he began to run hot water over the diminishing bubbles.

Her silhouette was more visible now, and he was pleased to note that her ankle appeared to be less swollen.

His eyes darkened slightly at the blurry image of her beauty as he raked his eyes towards hers – embarrassed that hers were now open and smirking at his discomfort at being caught staring at her.

"Like anything you see?" she taunted, and shifted slightly at the welcomed heat that engulfed her body – and not just from the tap water.

"You'll find out soon enough, my dear," he whispered as his lips caught hers.

He was quick to pull away before she pulled him to her.

"Soon, my love…and then, forever…" he smiled.

Shutting off the taps, he leaned against the doorway and told her he was heading in for a shower.

Once finished he would retrieve her from her spot and help her dress.

"By then, I'll look like a prune," she lamented, but he cut her off with a husky, "Prunes are my favorite fruit. I like to bite into them first, and then suck out their juice, slowly…very slowly…"

He finished speaking as he disappeared out of sight.

She inhaled deeply.

_No one makes me feel so desired…I love this man…I can't wait until we are together…forever…_

Sara smiled at that last thought.

_Forever..._

Meanwhile, Gil had just made it out of sight before he had to heave himself against the textured wallpaper and exhale slowly.

_No woman fills me with such desire, makes me _want_ her, the way Sara does…I can't wait until we are together…forever…_

Gil smiled at that last thought.

He glanced over at the jeweler's box sitting on the dresser.

_Forever…_

He moved towards the shower, for once not worrying if Sara's tub had consumed all the hot water.

Twenty minutes later, Gil was dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt and heading to retrieve Sara from her watery haven.

She smiled at his handsome carriage freshly showered.

Sara thought he looked as happy as she had ever seen him.

"Lean forward," he commanded softly as he reached for the sprayer attachment and turned on the jets after releasing the tub's stopper.

Gently, he sprayed warm water over her hair as she reached for the shampoo bottle.

He stopped her movements and reached behind him for the plastic storebag behind him.

When he pulled out her favorite shampoo with conditioner, she smiled at his thoughtfulness.

She was surprised, however, when he insisted on keeping the container with him.

Setting down the sprayer, he palmed a large dollop of the liquid and began to gently massage the shampoo into the hair.

He grinned as she closed her eyes in ecstasy, leaning forward to press a kiss quickly onto her pursed lips.

She smiled in return, but kept her eyes closed as he continued the shampoo.

When he finished, he resumed the sprayer and worked until all vestige of the soapy bubbles was gone.

Placing down the sprayer again, he helped Sara stand and sprayed off each section of her body from head to foot, occasionally sneaking a kiss here and there to mark the area as bubble-free.

When he reached her navel, the water sprayed over her and she felt herself breathing in deeply as her eyes closed.

As he continued, he cherished her with his eyes, lingering a bit too long in places as she latched onto the back of his head to encourage him to linger a while, until finally she was completely rinsed – and he was in need on another cold shower.

Wrapping her firmly in the cottony softness of hotel bath sheet, he smiled at her surprised giggle as he scooped her up right out of the tub and moved towards the doorway.

"Miss Sidle," he began formally before giving in to his desire to capture her lips hard in a burning kiss.

"Miss Sidle," he began again as he turned them towards the bedroom, "it's time we start getting ready for our wedding."

She first spotted the luggage cart now transformed into a bridal float, gasping at the wondrous sight before shaking her head in disbelief as she gazed at their outfits spread out side-by-side on the king-sized surface.

Her eyes watered as she turned her face towards him, his sideways smirk portraying his glee at a job well done.

She hugged him tightly as her shoulders heaved, through her tears choking out, "Oh, Gil!"


	42. Chapter 42

A/N: I know…I know…I can only say I hope this pleases…but I can hear jenstog screaming now…more soon, that's a promise…these two begged me, and I just couldn't resist leaving this story here…the reviews have been so amazing, and reader response is humbling…I will try to work on this some more tonight…no time to reread for errors…thanks for understanding…don't kill the messenger…you remain terrific…-Kathy

--

She was afraid to blink, fearing that when she reopened her eyes this perfect dream would disappear.

On their bed lay Gil's tuxedo and shirt, his coat arm extended to barely touch the waist of her wedding dress.

"How did you-?" she stammered as he lowered her onto the edge of the bed, her fingers immediately flying to slip the silky material through her incredulous grasp.

Gil smiled but remained silent.

Sara could no longer utter a sound, her mind in overdrive.

_My dream dress…from that store window…I thought I was dreaming…or hallucinating…but here it is…my dream dress…for my dream wedding…_

Higher on the pillow lay the undergarments the saleswoman had selected as "perfect" for this particular dress.

Sara was still holding it together, until…she spotted the ring of Shasta daisies to be worn in her hair.

Hand stitched and woven onto an expandable ring, these silken flowers would be the ideal headpiece for this dress.

As she reached over to hold them, her hand retracted towards her face and she buried her head in her hands.

Immediately, Gil knelt before her, concerned that he had overstepped his bounds, or somehow created a fatal error.

"Honey," he rushed, "please…if you don't like it…if-if you don't want the dress, the flowers…please…tell me, I …I just thought-"

His frantic rant was stilled as she assaulted him with kisses as the tears continued to fall.

"Please, honey," he pushed her away slightly while reaching to wrap her in his embrace.

Sara shook her head, trying to smile under the weight of her emotions.

"Sara, if you don't-"

She kissed him soundly and met his concerned eyes with a watery gaze.

"No…Gil…it's…perfect…"

Gil shook his head, trying to clear it in order to reprocess what she had just said and done.

His confusion brought a slight chuckle from his future bride, lightening the mood considerably.

She reached up to run her hands through the back of his curls, smiling as he reached up to rub the tears from her cheeks.

"It's just that…in my whole life…no one…no one _ever_ did something SO sweet…just for me…made all my dreams come true…"

Gil pulled his lips into that sideways smirk that she adored, pleased that she was so happy with his efforts.

"Just one thing," she added with a bit of sass as she pulled him closer for a kiss.

"The groom is not supposed to see the bride before the wedding. And, well, I am just not sure with this stupid ankle if I am going to be able to dress myself...so I was wondering just how much of a traditional groom do you plan to be?"

This made Gil laugh right out loud, as he moved to set himself next to her on the bed.

"Well, Miss Sidle, gentleman though I be, I hardly think anyone on this planet would exactly call either of us seriously "traditional"."

They chuckled at this, then he took her hands and looked at her more seriously.

"But I _am_ seriously in love with you, Sara. Please…let me help you make this a perfect night – one that you will remember happily for the rest of your life."

Sara squeezed his hands slightly and said earnestly, "It already is, my dearest love."

They fell into a happy embrace, two hearts pounding in sheer joy.

Releasing her, Gil moved off the bed and began to help Sara prepare for the wedding.

He carried her back into the bathroom, setting her down on the velour settee which accompanied the vanity.

Sara smiled as he unpacked the second plastic storebag containing a brush, a hair pick, a hairspray pump bottle, toothbrush, toothpaste, and the same brands of eye shadow, mascara, and 2-in-1 compact that Gil had remembered seeing in Sara's bedroom at the ranchhouse.

Still clad only in a wraparound bath sheet, Sara was pulling her hands through her still wet hair, her curls twisting prominently in the absence of the straightening comb.

Gil stood now directly behind her and placed his head close to her ear.

She watched him through the mirror as he bent and whispered in her ear, "Please…leave it curly? For me?"

Sara laughed and teased, "Oh? And what's my big incentive?"

He looked at her reflection and smiled, saying "Be right back…"

Within a moment, he had returned and as she continued to stare at his reflection her eyes fell on a small perfumery bag and the long jeweler's box Gil was presenting to her.

He placed the box into her hand, while he pulled out a star shaped perfume atomizer before discarding the bag.

"_Angel_! Oh, Gil, you shouldn't have-" Sara protested, although she always loved the fragrance.

Gil moved her hair aside and spritzed once on both sides of her neck.

Sara closed her eyes to enjoy the fragrance surrounding her.

When she opened her eyes, Gil was pleased to see the spark of excitement lighting up her brown eyes.

Her eyes jumped from the box back to his reflection.

He was smiling broadly and whispered, "Open it, my dear."

Sara gasped as the box opened to reveal seven tiny, perfectly formed pearls into which a small faceted ruby had been inserted. The pearls were secured to the front of a white gold serpentine chain by two white gold spacers shaped like butterflies.

She found herself mute in surprise; her eyes ran again from the necklace to his reflection and back

Gil reached over and placed the necklace at her delicate throat, securing it at the nape of her neck as he spoke.

"These are a slightly rare variety of gem-studded pearls. This necklace is designed to accept additional pearls, a type of 'add on' necklace."

He leaned again next to her ear, admiring how the decorative pearls accented her long neck.

He continued to speak to her reflection.

"I thought I might add on to the necklace for special occasions, such as our first anniversary, our tenth anniversary…" he trailed off, his smile returning as he watched her finger the lustrous pearls in fascination.

"It's …so beautiful…" was all she could squeak out.

"As is my bride," Gil whispered into her ear, placing a trail of kisses from there to a spot near her shoulder.

Sara twisted suddenly until she was facing him directly. Her arms flew out to embrace him.

Again, he felt the soft shudder of her shoulders, and he knew she was trying to keep her tears from him.

"Oh, Gil…thank you…I love you…so much…" she spoke tenderly, and his heart burst open with love for this remarkable woman.

"Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be," he spoke as he pulled away from her and captured her lips in a gentle touch.

Swiping his thumbs across her cheeks, he smiled and said, "Now…no more time for tears…in less than an hour YOU, Sara Sidle, are going to become a married woman!"

She surprised him with another kiss and he smiled as she happily bounced around to face the mirror again.

Her happy smile lit up the room, and his heart, and he retained his smile as he left her to ready herself.

He dressed quickly, shirt, tuxedo pants, socks, shoes…and then he sighed.

_That damn tie…I hate those things…I never seem to be able to get it right…_

As if reading his mind, at that moment Sara appeared at the bathroom door.

"Need any help?" she teased, knowing his reputation for the inability to tie bow ties.

"Sara!" he rushed over to her, scooping her up in his arms and depositing her on the bed.

"You shouldn't be putting any weight on that leg without crutches!" he said worriedly.

"Gil, relax. It's fine. _I'm_ fine," she spoke emphatically, but he was having none of it, raising her leg to inspect her ankle.

"See? The swelling is already much better. Another day or two-"  
"Is _not _today!" he almost yelled, then closed his eyes to count slowly to ten.

"Gil?" Sara's voice drifted over him.

He opened his eyes to find her smiling at him.

"Thank you…for loving me enough to worry. I promise you. I'm _fine_."

Gil smiled sheepishly, willing only to admit that he might be a _tad_ overprotective when it came to Sara.

"Ready to get dressed?" he asked as he stood, and she smiled up at him.

Her hair was a controlled mass of curly ringlets that were parted slightly off-center.  
Gil reached for the daisies and positioned them attractively over her curls.

Sara reached up and slid the attached hair combs in place to secure them into her curls.

Next he reached for the sateen teddy, kneeling on one knee before her and helping her slip her legs into the shimmering material.

Without his bidding, Sara stood as she pulled the teddy effortlessly over her curves.

Gil shook his head, trying to concentrate on getting her _dressed_ and not dwelling on the joy he would later experience in helping her _undress._

As she stood there, Gil lifted the bottom of the lightweight wedding dress over Sara as she extended her arms.

He slid the dress smoothly down her body, and when he finished his eyes fixed on her fully dressed form – and his mouth gaped open.

Sara immediately became concerned. "Gil?" she asked worriedly, trying her best to spin around on one foot to see herself in the dresser mirror.

"You're…beautiful, Sara…" Gil spoke slowly, unable to believe that this beautiful creature really wanted to marry him.

She smiled shyly, then burst into laughter at his stunned expression.

"Sara…I-" Gil stood before her speechless.

"And I'm all yours, mister!" she teased some more, pleased that he liked the dress.

It wasn't until she moved away from him and found herself standing alone across from the cheval mirror that Sara herself became speechless.

The hair, the dress, the necklace – she looked like someone emerging from a medieval forest…it was her childhood fantasy come true.

Her hands fingered the tiny cap sleeves, smoothing her fingertips over the tiny mother of pearl beading before moving to touch the pearl necklace, the sweetheart neckline, the empire waist, and finally smoothing out an individual layer of silky overlay as far as her fingers could reach.

She looked up from the hem to find Gil standing directly behind her, so handsome in his tuxedo.

They stared at their reflection for a long moment, and Sara couldn't help but imagine them as the most perfect topper for a wedding cake.

"This…is the happiest day of my life…" Sara told him, locking eyes with his reflection.

The mantle clock chimed a single tone, indicating the time was half past eleven.

"Are you ready, Miss Sidle?"

"Not quite," Sara answered as Gil furrowed his brow.

"After all, you can't very well wear a tuxedo without a bow tie, now can you?" she teased and began to move towards the bed to retrieve his tie.

"Stay still, I'll get it," he said as his arm wrapped around her to keep her in place.

In truth, she didn't mind, as this gave her another chance to admire her wedding attire.

While Sara was looking into the mirror, Gil retrieved the tie and also slipped the ring box into his inside pocket.

Making quick work of the bow tie, Sara found herself begin whisked off her feet as they headed towards the decorated wedding float.

Sara sat down on the satin covered seat, her arms immediately reaching for the daisy chain.

She leaned back and her feet brushed through the daisies that adorned the area beneath her feet.

Gil was standing directly behind her chair, making sure she was secure as he began to twist the luggage cart to head towards the elevator.

As they waited for the doors to open, Sara leaned backwards and Gil leaned forward and they kissed briefly through their poorly contained smiles.

Then Sara sat upright and Gil grasped her upper arm with one hand as he maneuvered the cart onto the elevator with the other.

_It's Showtime!_

_--_

Nick's dashboard clock read 11:30 as his car passed the _Welcome to Vegas_ road sign.

Now that he was here, where exactly was he to go?

He decided to drive by Grissom's townhouse first, and if he had no indication that Grissom was keeping Sara captive there, he would try her apartment building.

A sneer formed over his lips as he maneuvered his friend's car down the street leading to Gil's house.

_When I find you, Grissom, you are going to pay for kidnapping my Sara._

He pounded his fists onto the steering wheel as the townhouse looked deserted, without even a car parked nearby.

Nick's foot hit the accelerator, mirroring the rise in his pulse as he sped off towards Sara's home.

Finding her designated parking spot deserted, Nick pulled to the curb as he recalled the many nights he had followed Sara home – for her own _protection_.

An odd flush crept over Nick's face as his mania began to overtake any semblance of rational thought.

_I bet he's taken her to a hotel on the strip, where he can keep her prisoner…why he can even use room service and keep her hold up without even needing to leave for meals…_

_And why would he want to leave?_

_He has her there – an unwilling sex slave…keeping her away from the one man she really wants to be with…_

Tires squealed as Nick headed towards the Strip.

He paused briefly at the first red light, reaching over and slamming open the glove compartment to retrieve his ID badge and credentials.

He was glad he remembered to place them in the vehicle that night before the bonfire began, figuring it would be easier for him and Sara to visit the lab as they returned from their honeymoon if he had his identification with him.

Slipping them into his wallet which hung half open on the center console, Nick began to rehearse his opening lines to the hotel management.

He was now convinced that Grissom was holding Sara hostage in one of the major hotels, remembering Gil's past teasing about "the best place for evidence to remain unseen is to hide in clear view of everyone".

Nick decided on three possible venues: the Mandalay Bay, the Bellagio, and the MGM Grand.

His car sped off, swerving through the nightlife traffic, heading straight for the Mandalay Bay Hotel.

--

The elevator chimed as the couple watched the doors open to the hustle and bustle of the Bellagio's lobby.

One might expect a bridal float created from a busboy's brass luggage cart might attract immediate attention, but in Las Vegas Sara and Gil found they simply blended in to the zany backdrop of the premier Las Vegas nightlife.

As Gil pushed Sara to the right and down a less traveled corridor leading to a smaller side balcony, she held on to the daisy chains as if they were part of a rope swing.

Unencumbered by needing shoes, Sara lightly flexed her good foot in and out of the daisy bed encircling her feet.

The flowers felt fresh, almost as if wet by a morning dew, and the warmth of the elevator and lobby began sending wafts of delicious flower scents upward as Gil moved them towards the door.

Pausing only slightly in an attempt to open the stained glass imbedded double door, Gil found it opening suddenly due to the efforts of a rather distinguished looking gentleman, about ten years Gil's senior.

"Judge Williams, thank you," Grissom spoke courteously, taking a peek at Sara to be sure she was safely through the doors.

"My, my, Sara…you are a sight to behold!" the Judge laughed happily as he moved behind Gil to close the doors for privacy from the din of the active hotel lobby.

Gil moved to Sara's side and took her hand.

Sara smiled at the judge bashfully and replied, "Thank you, Judge Williams."

Then she looked right into the older man's eyes as she almost whispered, "…for everything."

The judge harrumphed and took hold of her other hand.

"My dear, in almost 35 years on the bench, I can assure you this is one of my greatest and most pleasurable assignments."

Sara grinned widely as the judge winked at her and moved forward to include Gil in the conversation, moving his hand towards his inside pocket to retrieve the necessary legal paperwork.

"Let's move over here, shall we Gil?" he asked, smiling as Gil leaned down to peck Sara's lips lightly before releasing her hand to move away from her seat.

Sara listened intently as Gil filled out the forms for the license and marriage registry as the judge carefully included her in the entire conversation.

But, truth be known, Sara was only half with the pre-nuptial proceedings.

She was engulfed in a battle to realize this was _not _a dream.

When the next few minutes had transpired, she would be Mrs. Gil Grissom.

And he would love her exclusively.

_Forever._

At this moment, Gil brought the paperwork to Sara for her signature in three places, and he noticed her hand trembling terribly as she reached for the pen.

Refusing to relinquish the writing instrument, he instead placed the paperwork on the table and caught both her hands with his.

She looked directly into his eyes, noticing immediately the concern for her that flashed across his face as his eyes darted from one of her eyes to the other.

His worry touched her deeply, and at that moment, all Sara could do was sigh deeply and lean in to peck his lips softly.

"Sorry," she smiled as her nose nuzzled his, "guess I am a little more nervous than I thought."

Standing outside on this stately terrace, with its Roman columns and manicured bushes, Sara watched as Gil moved towards her to whisper, "Me, too, honey. But I really want to do this, if _you_ still do…"

Treating him with her best Sidle smile, Sara didn't respond immediately.

Instead, she plucked the fountain pen from his chest pocket and crooked an eyebrow, cooing softly, "Where do I sign?"

Just as the judge was moving to carry the papers towards Sara, a light knock on the doors behind them brought all three sets of eyes to full attention.

A bellboy leaned in broadly to say, "Excuse me. Dr. Grissom? There is a gentleman at the front desk looking for you."

Before Sara could say anything, Gil moved to follow the bellboy, pausing briefly to kiss the top of her head.

"I'll be right back, honey."

With that, Sara found herself bewildered and alone with Judge Williams just as the doors closed to the chiming of the hotel's oversized grandfather clock signaling the midnight hour.

--

The Sheriff was just setting the landing gear switch to the descending position as Logan inhaled deeply, trying in vain to keep his patience in check.

Brass who remained sandwiched in the back seat between a concerned Catherine and a worried Warrick was having less luck maintaining a check on his temper.

"It's already midnight! When the hell are we going to land this thing?" Brass barked, raking his hand through his hair for the fifteen time in the last half hour.

"Sorry, detective, but those head winds slowed us a bit. We're lucky we lifted off at all. Right after we left, the airport grounded half the outgoing flights due to this damn fog," the pilot replied evenly.

He was aware of the need to arrive ASAP, and was having his own issues with the deteriorating weather conditions.

As soon as the wheels hit ground, aside from following the usual landing procedure, the sheriff was in communication with the tower, insisting they signal the waiting LVPD cars onto the tarmac without waiting for them to come to a complete shut down.

Brass was the first one out the doors, helping himself to the departure ladder and securing it in place to help Catherine disembark before turning them both towards the approaching squad cars.

"Captain," Officer Michaels greeted him from behind the wheel,"good to see you gain. Where to sir?"

Brass had opened the door for Catherine and jumped in beside her, leaning forward in a gesture meant to indicate the need for immediate departure.

"The other two will ride with Grady. Get me downtown _now_," Jim spoke in his best commander's voice, adding after a pause, "And hit the lights!"

Catherine looked over her shoulder at Warrick who was just emerging from the plane.

She raised her hand to the rear window of the squad car, catching 'Ric's eye before they disappeared from sight.

He nodded, hoping Catherine would understand that he and Logan would be a few minutes behind.

Pulling out with lights blazing a trail through the midnight darkness leading towards the interstate, Michaels leaned back and asked, "Where to, sir?"

At this, Brass seemed to falter for the first time since they realized Nick was gone.

He turned to Catherine, his expression wild with indecision.

Ever the CSI, Catherine spoke evenly, "Well, I doubt he'd take her to either of their homes. If he wanted her out of touch with Nick, he'd go somewhere public, make it hard to find them."

Brass let out a low growl.

"It's Vegas…that could be anywhere."

Catherine smiled.

"But…he would want to take good care of her. Give her the best."

She turned to face Jim fully.

"What would you say would be the top three hotels in Vegas? Ones that would also offer a multitude of distractions and actions that would make it easy to hide?"

Brass thought a moment, then leaned forward and gave the officer instructions to take them directly to Mandalay Bay, the Bellagio, and the MGM Grand.

--

A few moments had passed as the doors opened slowly behind Sara.

The judge had been facing Sara, and now looked over her shoulder, his eyes narrowing a bit as he tried to place the young man who entered so closely behind the groom-to-be.

Having first heard the door open, then seeing the look on the judge's face, Sara twisted herself sideways on her chair to give her a better look at who stood behind her in the doorway.

Her face took on an almost incredulous look as her eyes flitted between Gil and the man who stood behind her.

Sara's hand flew to her mouth, her eyes opening a bit wider, as she now stared unbelieving into the eyes of the only man she would ever love, whispering, "Oh, Gil…."


	43. Chapter 43

A/N: For those of you dying to find out what happens with Nick and Brass, wait it out a bit longer!...There was _no_ way I was going to infringe upon Sara's special day…thanks for the reviews and the reader support…these two were absolutely demanding about the details…You people are terrific!...next update probably with weekend…sorry, not beta'd…but I wasn't going to bed until this chapter was done…enjoy…I did!…-Kathy

--

The elder judge's assessment of this "young" man had been right on the money.

This dapper gentleman, suited fashionably in a newer edition Perry Ellis tuxedo, moved with the slight swagger of a socially confident person. His body, well-toned from a moderate regimen of exercise and proper diet, belied the fact that he was only a year younger than Grissom, making the judge seem much more than twelve years his senior.

Extending a hand in greeting, the judge kept his eyes narrowed and pronounced, "It's…Dr. _Craig_, isn't it?"

"You know each other?" Gil asked, amused.

"This fine physician took great care of the missus when she was involved in a terrible car crash a few years ago," the judge explained, adding, "Gave her wonderful care, helped her heal right as rain!"

"Indeed, Judge Williams, a pleasure to see you again, sir," the physician spoke as he returned the handshake heartily. "And please, it's Daniel."

"And this lovely lady?" the judge queried, smiling at the striking appearance of the woman who held on lightly the doctor's forearm.

"Judge Williams, Cynthia Carter. Cynthia works closely with me in my hospital practice," Dr. Craig introduced her formally.

"So nice to meet you, Judge Williams," Cynthia replied sweetly, blushing at the "closely" comment from the man who had captured her imagination years ago.

If truth be known, Gil and Sara's situation had caused Doctor Daniel Craig to re-evaluate his own life choices – including those that involved his confidante and long-time sidekick Nurse Cynthia Carter.

Though ten years younger, Cynthia had worked almost exclusively on Daniel's service since her arrival at Desert Palms.

When Daniel spoke with Gil during his "confinement" immediately after the accident, he had pressed Gil not to give up on a possible future with Sara:

_The doctor pressed on. "Did you…at least…tell her how you feel…let __her __make the choice?"_

Afterwards, their discussion had been interrupted by Logan seeking Gil. As he had sat in Gil's darkened room after their exit, Daniel watched mesmerized as Gil ministered to Sara.

In particular, he had watched Sara's facial reaction when Gil entered the room.

He knew that look.

He'd seen it so many times after the staff had suffered through the loss of a patient, despite their best efforts.

Walking into the breakroom, he would often find Cynthia alone just staring out at the streetlights, sometimes with a track of tears glistening on her ivory cheeks.

Her pain would be palpable, but he would clear his throat, unsure of how to comfort this person who was daily becoming indispensable to him.

And then she would turn and flash him _that_ look.

That night, Daniel had leaned forward, unbelieving at the powerhouse of emotions that Sara was conveying to Gil with that one look.

When Gil finally returned to his own room to collect his things before waiting for his discharge orders, he was not unduly aware that a different nurse had delivered his paperwork and home care instructions.

Unknown to Gil, and most of the nursing staff, Nurse Carter was no longer on duty for the rest of that shift.

Dr. Craig had altered the on-call roster, and had summoned Nurse Carter to his office…with strict instructions that they were not to be disturbed.

So now, Daniel Craig and Cynthia Carter arrived arm in arm to the Bellagio front desk, where their instructions were to seek the head clerk and ask to be announced to the Grissoms' private wedding arena.

Knowing that Brass and the rest of the team were still in Texas, Grissom had deliberated on their long plane ride back to Vegas on just who would stand up for him and his bride.

He wanted it to be someone who was close to both he and Sara, someone who shared a connection, someone who they might continue to see socially on some level.

When Gil had taken Sara to have her injury evaluated, the situation seemed to naturally resolve itself.

Daniel was more than happy to oblige Gil, and offered Cynthia as his partner, recalling the excellent rapport she had developed with Sara during her hospitalization after the accident.

Turning to Sara, the nurse smiled as her eyes gleamed excitedly. "Sara…you look…amazing!"

Now Gil had moved towards Sara whose mouth continued to hang slightly open as her hand remained pressing into her lower lip.

"Sara, sweetheart," Gil spoke softly, nudging her upper arm in hopes she would say _something_.

But Sara continued to look at the doctor and his date, then back to Gil, and repeat the cycle.

Daniel smiled and moved closer to Sara. He looked closely into her eyes, then straightened and placed his hand on her shoulder while turning to face Cynthia.

"My professional opinion? We better start these proceedings before Sara here receives any more surprises that will leave her catatonic and unable to say, "I do" !"

With that, everyone had to laugh and Sara blushed but joined in the laughter.

"Sweetheart," Gil bent down slightly to speak to Sara face to face, "I've asked Daniel and Cynthia to stand up for us. I didn't want to have just anyone be part of the best day of our lives. Is that-?"

Gil never had the chance to finish, as Sara leaned forward and placed a firm kiss on his lips before capturing his face between her outstretched hands.

"Gil…you just keep making this wedding day more special."

Again, his face morphed into that sideways smirk that she adored.

So with hearts on fire, the happy couple, flanked by their best man and maid of honor, moved to begin the proceedings.

Gil and Daniel strode alongside Sara with Cynthia at the front side of the float, all three moving Sara forward the six feet to where the judge was waiting for them.

Gil stood by Sara's side. In her perch on the bridal float, she sat barefoot and beautiful a mere five inches shorter than Gil.  
Used to being at his eye level, her position left her feeling like the "little woman", a characterization she would balk at under normal circumstances.

However, tonight, in this venue, Sara welcomed the sensation of being "protected", secure in the knowledge that this man standing to her right would lay down his life for her – a reverse of this sentiment she was not entirely sure he would agree to.

But that was Gil for you. _Her_ Gil.

Sara lifted her chin to glance at him while the judge continued to read the somber words with stunning clarity and conviction.

"…_is not to be entered into lightly…"_

Above, the night breezes softly whispered through the ornate columns, the charcoal darkness beyond the flickering torches in stark contrast to the soft glow of the outdoor lanterns adding a luminescence to their wedding site.

At this moment, as Sara and Gil looked into each other's eyes, the rest of the world did not exist.

The judge read dutifully from the age-old script, asking each in turn to repeat the vows that sealed the pact of lovers throughout modern history.

It was when the rings were to be exchanged that Sara paused.

Had Gil decided on a double ring ceremony? She hoped so. She wanted them to share in everything within their marriage.

Theirs was a special bond, one that was created by equals…and she felt he truly saw them that way.

Yes, he seemed to love doting on her, caring for her physical needs, overprotective to a fault.

But when it came right down to it, they shared the same hunger for intimacy on the deepest level.

He had shown her over the years slight cracks in his stern exterior, and she had discerned his need for someone to accept him for who he really was.

It had hurt when he had turned away from her silent offerings to be that person for him.

As he spurned her attempts, she never really thought she'd ever find a suitable substitute for this man – the only man she would ever truly love.

In this instant, as Daniel fussed with the ring box, Sara became filled with regrets over her involvement with Nick, how she had sought the comfort of his advances on the rebound from the latest round of Gil's rejection.

_If only she had been stronger…if only she had been more trusting…if only she had waited…_

Her thoughts were regressing to the horror of the wedding rehearsal at the ranchhouse.

"…_is not to be entered into lightly…"_

…_if only she had waited…they could have avoided so much pain…and poor Nick…no matter what, he had to have been hurt badly by all this…he was hurt badly by me…I never meant to hurt him…_

Her attention was drawn back to the present as she felt a slight pressure as Gil reclaimed her hand.

A flash of something crossed her face, leaving Gil with a momentary pang of anxiety before she favored him with a full Sidle smile.

_She's not changing her mind…she wants this as much as I do…she told me she was just nervous…she seems happy…lord, I just want to make her happy for the rest of our lives…_

Sara gave a quick intake of breath as she looked at the ring Gil was holding, poised at the front of ring finger.

Suddenly, he dropped her hand and reached forward to turn it over, palmside up.

He placed the ring in her hand, requesting softly, "Look inside."

Sara raised the ring to her eye level, twirling it softly to read the seven letters of engraving:

_F-O-R-E-V-E-R_

Gil leaned forward to look directly into her eyes which were now misting slightly.

"Sara, today I give myself to you in marriage.

I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle.  
I promise to love you when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort.

I promise to love _you_, Sara Sidle, _forever_."

As he finished speaking, he claimed the ring from her palm, and placed it on her ring finger.

Sara almost forgot to breathe, the symbolism of the butterflies as depicting a new life rushed over her…_their_ new life…and the engraving….to be together_ forever…_

She would have been able to keep her emotions under control, until she looked up at that moment and saw a tear glistening in his happy eyes as his hand left hers and he signed,

_F-O-R-E-V-E-R_

These two seemed locked in their own time and space, causing Daniel and Cynthia to look at each other with a sense of longing to experience this kind of unique love very few of us ever really find.

Unexpectedly, Daniel leaned forward and kissed a surprised Cynthia who stood with her eyes closed even as Daniel pulled away.

Feeling the doctor's movement to her side, Sara shook her head slightly to rejoin the real world as Daniel now held Gil's ring in his outstretched hand.

Gil noticed the tremor in Sara's hand as she reached for his ring, immediately glancing up at Daniel who retracted his arm.

Before she could react, Gil reached out to take Sara's slightly clammy hands in his which caused her to jerk her head in his direction.

"Hey," he said softly, inches from her lips.

"We can take our time, honey. Take all the time we need. This is our special moment. No need to stress."

With that he kissed her, and with eyes closed, Sara was transported to a glimpse of a future which held barefoot walks hand-in-hand along the low tide's incoming waves, popcorn battles in stocking feet on a rainy Saturday night snuggled on an overstuffed couch, her head nestled in the perfect niche of his shoulder and neck as they lounged in their bedroom after an amorous marathon…

As her eyelids slid open, she found herself staring into the blue depths of his love, and suddenly she was anxious to take the final leap.

Sighing happily, she kissed him again and then turned to smile at Daniel, who immediately returned his hand to its previous position.

Taking hold of Gil's hand, Sara spoke clearly and from the heart:

"Gil, I want this ring to affirm my love for you.

I want you to know that I think you are the most beautiful, smart, and generous person I have ever known.

I want to promise always to respect you.

I want to work by your side with kindness, unselfishness, and trust to create a wonderful life together.

I want you – you're all I've ever wanted…you're all I'll ever need…"

With that, Sara slipped on Gil's matching wedding band and then surprised him when she began to sign ably:

_A-N-D __I W-I-L-L L-O-V-E Y-O-U F-O-R-E-V-E-R_

Their attendants smiled and burst into spontaneous applause before hearing the judge's appeal for attention.

The group laughed lightly as the smiling official teased,

"Please, please…some decorum here…"

The judge straightened his shoulders and in a pseudo-serious tone, spoke:

"We're not done until I get to do my favorite line of the ceremony! Gil Grissom, you may now kiss the bride!"

Not needing further encouragement, Gil pressed Sara into a comfortable embrace and when their lips met, the couple was only vaguely aware that Daniel had brought his IPhone from his breast pocket and had depressed the control for the MP3 player, causing a sudden swell of melodic tones as an operatic voice from a late 40's Broadway revival of Carmen filled the night air.

This caused Sara and Gil to end their liplock, turning amused faces towards their best man, all the while Gil ensuring to maintain his hold on his new bride.

"Daniel, what in the world?" Gil asked, pressing a kiss onto the top of Sara's head.

"Hey, Gil…it's like I told you a long time ago," Daniel answered smugly, leaning in conspiratorially towards the couple.

He winked and whispered, repeating his statement to Gil from their initial meeting, "Well, you know what they say: "It's really not over 'til the fat lady sings'."

Sara closed her eyes as imaginary protection against the silliness, while Gil rolled his eyes before breaking out into a fit of laughter.

They all enjoyed the moment, as the doors swung open and white shirted waiters wheeled trays holding a light repast, at exactly the appointed time.

As the first waiter moved towards the happy couple with a flourish, brandishing tall champagne flutes full of bubbles and a luscious strawberry at the bottom, Sara paused as if wondering whether to chance the alcoholic drink.

Sensing her ambivalence, Daniel leaned forward discreetly and said, "Relax, Sara. I assume you have taken nothing else by mouth since we met earlier today in the ER?"

Shaking her head vehemently with eyebrows raised in assurance, Daniel placed his hand on her forearm and said, "Then drink tonight and enjoy it – doctor's orders!"

His words brought an additional depth to her smile as she accepted the flute from her husband, who was already winding his arm to interlock with hers.

_Like something out of a movie…can this really be happening to me?_

Locking eyes, Sara noticed that Gil's had darkened considerably and was therefore not surprised as he leaned in to capture her lips in a kiss that held promises of things to come.

Pulling away, they kept their gazes glued to each other, causing Cynthia to take the judge's elbow and lead him slowly towards the mini-buffet lavished with mounds of shrimp toast, varied cheese wheels and fruit boats, finger sandwiches, and a Viennese dessert cart.

Eyeing Daniel, Cynthia indicated that perhaps the newlyweds would enjoy a few moments to themselves. They moved towards the buffet, and Daniel called one of the waiters over, speaking in hushed tones as the employee retreated into the hotel lobby.

All too soon, however, the Grissoms' "private" conversation was interrupted by the arrival of the hotel photographer who insisted on "just a few" formal poses of the happy couple, then with the bridal party.

Upon his departure, the doors were just closing as the lobby clock signaled 1:00 a.m.

Daniel's MP3 mode had provided some wonderful classical background music, but now he signaled everyone that there was one final song he wished to play before they called it an evening.

"For you, Gil and Sara, your first dance as man and wife. Now, I know that Sara shouldn't be putting too much pressure on that ankle, so I decided you could improvise…"

And with that, the door opened and waiter returned with Daniel's request – a low-riding, polished leather computer chair with a wide seat and no sidearms.

"I think you ought to be able to swing your bride around the dance floor in this, don't you, Gil?"

And before she knew it, Sara was being lifted from her bridal throne and was now seated comfortably in Gil's lap.

As everyone's chuckles died down, the strains of Etta James' version of _AT LAST_ filled the balcony, resonating its beautiful lyrics into the starry night.

The words were so intimate, it was as if Gil's heart was bearing itself on each syllable.

Sara hugged him, placing her head on his shoulder as he deftly moved them side to side, occasionally spinning them 360 to the violin descant.

_And here we are in heaven  
for you are mine...  
At Last_

At this final refrain, with the accompanying swell of the violin-heavy orchestra, Sara picked up her head and kissed him with such intensity that his entire body reacted.

Lifting her to a standing position, both the wedding party and the waiters burst into spontaneous applause as Sara first smiled then hid her happy tears as she snuggled into her husband's shoulder.

"Well, everyone, on behalf of Gil and Sara, I want to thank you for the best wedding I have every been party to-" Daniel began.

At that moment, he surprised everyone by turning slowly and capturing Cynthia in his arms, dipping her in dramatic fashion before sealing her lips with his.

Standing them upright again, Cynthia needed a moment to regain her bearings as Daniel grabbed her by the waist and finished his thought, "-for now…"

This made Sara laugh aloud, and with Gil kissing her hair and grinning at Daniel, the bride thought she would never be as happy as she was at this moment.

She turned to Gil and spoke those sentiments.

He nuzzled her ear and whispered, "Oh? Is that a gauntlet I just heard being tossed to the ground?"

Sara laughed aloud again, knowing he was referring to their "wedding night".

Looking around quickly to be sure he had not embarrassed them by being overheard, she slapped him lightly on the shoulder, unable to contain her happiness, as she faked her disapproval and cried, "Oh, Gil…"

_Some of the wedding script was inspired by verses found at weddings at about dot com_


	44. Chapter 44

A/N: A promised update…the next post probably not until next week, but as soon as I can…thanks so much for the great reviews and to all that great reader support of the last chapter…hope this pleases…you are all so terrific!... – Kathy

--

The happy couple was now moving through the doors being held open for them by a waiter and their best man.

Sara remained seated happily in her dreamy bridal float, wishing this happiness would never end.

Her new husband steered his new wife's chariot from behind, clutching her hand in a fashion that displayed her new wedding band for the world to see.

The hectic activity of the lobby was ignored by the happy couple as they emerged into the fray, heading towards the private elevator to their penthouse suite.

They were oblivious to the commotion around them, and to the focused strides of a man who entered the main entrance at the exact time they emerged from their wedding site.

The tall, attractive man was at the main check-in desk within seconds, his long strides made even more productive because of his frantic mission.

The clerk noticed him as he entered, noting the emotion – anger? despair? – that filled his gaze.

She unconsciously took a slight step backwards as he approached the desk.

His overall appearance was pleasing, but there was something in his stare that she found…threatening.

As his hands splayed out onto the cool marble counter, the clerk inwardly shook off her worry, smiled a bit timidly, and began, "How may I help you, sir?"

Before the tall Texan could answer his attention was drawn to the applause now swelling in the corner of the lobby.

His jaw set rigidly as he heard the strains of well-wishers forming an impromptu honor guard for the new bride and groom.

Gil was a bit embarrassed by the unexpected attention, but his gaze caught Sara who was looking up at him so lovingly…

Without thought, he leaned over and kissed her soundly before pulling away to return her full-faced grin, squeezing her hand again – a motion that sent the white gold shimmering in the bright light from the oversized lobby chandeliers.

Nick continued to stare at the montage before him: applause, bridal gown, tuxedo, ring……_kisses_.

His internal temperature rose to dangerous heights, and the level of paranoia that had risen dramatically on the long ride here was now overtaking all rational thought.

Outwardly, however, Nick's calm exterior belied the raging anger that now consumed him.

He watched as Gil deftly maneuvered Sara's vehicle towards the private lift, pulling her as he stepped into the small room before pressing the button for the penthouse.

Before the door closed, however, Nick was "treated" to the site of Gil moving to lift Sara upwards into a crushing embrace, the last snapshot of his lips devouring hers.

Without a word, Nick retreated slowly towards the main entrance, backing up to keep his gaze on the last spot he had seen his Sara.

Feeling the waft of warmer air from the now opening doors, Nick shut his eyes for a moment as he paused midstep.

A second later, he opened his eyes which were now totally focused on one goal: rescue Sara while making Grissom pay for his interference in their own 'happily ever after'.

With that, Nick turned swiftly and headed out into the warm Vegas night.

By the time he had reached his set of borrowed wheels, Nick's plan was in place.

His muscles almost painfully taut, Nick placed his elbow on the window rest and fingered his lips in deep concentration, almost cutting off the limousine that now braked suddenly to avoid a collision as Nick's car pulled out without signals, and sped off down the strip.

Behind the limo, Officer Michaels swore as he braked hard to avoid a rear end collision with the luxury vehicle before him.

"Watch it!" Brass barked from the backseat of the cruiser, as his hand went out to steady Catherine from being hurt by her body motion against the restraining belts.

"Sorry, Captain. Some idiot must have cut off the limo. You okay back there?" Michaels queried, to be met by Catherine's quiet, "We're okay, thanks."

Brass looked over at her, confused at first by her quiet response.

He recognized that look of hers, hell, he'd seen it enough over the years when she was consumed with frustration of a solution evading her.

Although those who knew her saw much more, no one would argue that Catherine Willows was an amazing CSI.

Her street smarts and confident manner made her devastating in an interview room and a sure bet in the court room.

Brass had seen her work double shifts until she was happy in the direction of the evidence, only to reappear early for her next shift to follow any leads.

He understood, then, her frustration at not finding any clues as to Gil and Sara's whereabouts at their first stop, the Mandalay Bay hotel.

The detective was brought out of his musings by Michaels' announcement that they had arrived at the Bellagio.

Before the driver finished his sentence, there was a flurry of clicks and the back seat was now empty.

Moving into the lobby, Brass flanked a business-mode Catherine as she approached the main desk.

Their progress was halted by the familiar voice calling out, "Detective Brass!"

The duo spun in unison to now face a rather stunned Dr. Craig and his rather stunning date.

"A little off your beaten path, aren't you doctor?" Brass replied pleasantly, his eyes roving the lobby in the off chance of spotting his best friend.

"Well," Daniel replied, winking and smiling at Cynthia, "there's a first time for everything!"

"Hey, doc, it was great seeing you, but we…uh…we really have to be going…"

"Oh, a case…well, I was sure it had to be _something_ important to keep you from being there," Daniel replied innocently.

Although, Catherine was moving slightly forward she paused as she realized Brass was not done with this conversation.

"Sorry?" a tired Brass asked, thoroughly confused.

"I just mean, well, after all you did to help them, and your timely effort to get Sara to the clinic-"

Daniel never had time to finish his statement as now he found Jim's hands grasping the doctor's upper arms in desperation.

"You've seen them? Sara? You know where Sara is?" Brass pleaded, totally uncaring that his words and his expression were betraying every ounce of worry that had escalated in the last hour.

"Jim," Daniel spoke softly, "she's okay. They're both okay," he added, not fully understanding the reason for worry, but sensing danger lurking nearby for his newfound friends.

Catherine all but collapsed against Brass in relief, Jim's eyes closed for a long second as he let out a long breath.

"They would have waited…I'm sure…if they knew you were arriving so soon," Daniel began, looking at a confused Cynthia who only smiled and squeezed his elbow lightly in support.

"Why don't we all move over to the side here, sit on the couches?" Cynthia spoke sweetly, moving to take Brass's elbow to lead him to the sitting area of the expansive lobby.

Without further comment, the couple aided the arrivals to a private area, shielded from the hubbub of a Las Vegas night.

"Now, from the beginning," Jim began without taking his eyes off a very well-dressed doctor and his well appointed date whom he suddenly recognized as one of the nurses who had treated Sara and Gil at Desert Palms.

Daniel proceeded to explain about Sara's multiple visits to the hospital earlier today, having to reassure an overprotective Brass that she was, indeed, on her way to full recuperation.

Next, he explained how he and Cynthia had been recruited for the wedding party, causing Catherine to tear up at Daniel's explanation.

"Gil said he wanted them to be married as soon as possible, he wasn't going to wait another moment to do what he should have done years ago. His only regret was that he couldn't wait for the rest of the team – his 'family'."

Catherine wiped away a tear, as Cynthia passed a purse pack of tissues towards her, receiving a grateful smile in reply.

Brass couldn't stop smiling, although he always fantasized about giving Sara away.

"Oh!" Cynthia smiled, rummaging through her decorative leather handbag," and we have just a few snapshots!"

She handed over some of the polaroids that the photographer had used to set up the formal shots.

Brass grinned at the happy look of the new bride and the total concentration on that person by the new groom.

Catherine's eyes continued a steady stream as she fingered the pictures.

When her eyes finally met Jim's she smiled and whispered, "…so happy…they're so happy…"

Jim squeezed her shoulders in affirmation, turning to Cynthia. "May I?" he queried, pocketing the two photos at her smile.

"Now…do you know what room they're staying in?" Brass was standing now, going into detective mode.

"Yes, they're in the bridal penthouse suite. Why?" Daniel stood facing him, almost afraid of the detective's next move.

"Why?" Brass asked, confused.

"Well, I mean…they just left us not only ten minutes ago…" Daniel wavered, looking at Cynthia for help.

"Listen, doctor, I have reason to fear for Sara's safety. I'm not leaving until I've talked to them and made sure she's safe!"

"Detective Brass," Cynthia moved forward smiling while taking into account his furrowed brow.

"We just saw them as the elevator doors closed. No one has moved towards that private elevator, and anyway, that particular floor is accessible by key-access only."

Catherine joined the conversation, "And you are absolutely sure you saw them exit into the elevator?"

"Yes, Gil was pulling Sara's "wedding float" into the car. There was barely room for them!"

Catherine looked at Brass. "Well, now we know why his phone has been off all evening," her eyebrows raised reassuringly.

Jim was still not satisfied. He pulled out his phone to call Gil again, only to find Catherine's manicured fingers obscuring the keypad.

"He'll find the messages…in time…he'll phone you."

Brass was still unconvinced.

Catherine was adamant that he leave the newlyweds to their wedding night.

She proposed, "Look. Pitch a uniform to stake out the elevator doors. If they leave their room, they'd come down here to the lobby. It has the only access to the main street, the bar, the parking garage…"

She squeezed Jim's forearm and said, "They're safe…for now…we know where they are…let's concentrate on finding Nick."

Reluctantly, Brass had to agree and spun away from the doctor to rise and begin speed dialing for backup.

Catherine stood also, tired from the day's events but grateful for the happy ending.

"Thanks…for being there…" she said, extending her hand to doctor.

"They were very happy," Cynthia began, surprising Catherine with a hug as she whispered, "I know they missed you, but if you had seen them you wouldn't have wanted them to wait one more day."

Something in Catherine burst forth in sudden joy for these two people who had been her coworkers and friends.

Her grin remained wide as she looked deep into Cynthia's eyes to reply, "Thank you."

To Daniel, Catherine smiled and said, "I think you've got a keeper here, doc."

Cynthia blushed as Daniel wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer.

"Miss Willows, I do believe I agree with your diagnosis."

At that point, Brass returned and everyone said their goodbyes.

Brass and Catherine moved through the front doors, as Daniel smiled charmingly while moving backwards, pulling Cynthia towards the sounds of a Glenn Miller tune emitting from the jazz bar at the far end of the lobby.

"The night's still young, and you are _so_ beautiful. May I have this dance?" the doctor asked as he stopped to pull a smiling Cynthia close before breaking away to lead her to the dance floor.

--

While the drama was unfolding in the lobby so many floors below, the scene in the penthouse had become reminiscent of the aftermath of a large tornado.

Beginning at the entrance to the elevator, a cherrywood desk chair sat on its side next to a stripped bare luggage cart.

There was a trail of discarded single daisies haphazardly tossed along a trail leading into the bedroom in a fashion that would have made Hansel and Gretel blush.

At the end of that trail there were two sets of bridal clothes lying motionless on the bed.

The satin sheet that had covered the bridal float was now draped with care over the top of the king-sized bed, dozens of daisies scattered about its surface.

One long silk daisy chain end remained attached to one headboard poster, the rest snaking into the middle of the tousled makeshift garden.

A bridal bouquet was missing from the flower count, however three daisy heads were found in an almost perfect line leading from the bed to the en suite bathroom, suggesting a struggle had ensued which caused the blooms to break from their stems.

The door was not securely closed, allowing steam rising from the two-seater whirlpool to sneak through the opening.

The hot water continued to pour over the bodies, laying face up one on top of the other.

There was no movement; the only sound that of the forced water jets churning the lightly fragranced water over the stilled forms.

As the water level rose, the second daisy chain that had earlier secured the hands of the male figure began floating higher as the water surface level rose.

The jets were pounding mercilessly against the muscles at the sides of both bodies, the wave action almost mimicking boiling water bubbles dancing below the surface.

The water level had risen almost to the emergency drain opening under the faucet as one silk blossom from the daisy chain lightly kissed the woman's lower lip several times as it was tossed by the whirlpool jets.

This action caused the woman's mouth to react slightly as she emitted a small involuntary sigh through slightly parted lips, the only movement to indicate she was slowly returning to consciousness.

It wasn't until the rising water found this other small void to fill that Sara awoke with a start to find the hot tub water invading her mouth.

She sat up deliberately, pressing hard against her husband's most private parts, causing him to awake gruffly, flailing in vain to prevent himself from slipping under the warm, watery surface.

Despite the drain, their shocked movements sent water spilling over the sides of the tub, as Gil was sputtering from nearly drowning as he tried to reach around his wife to reach the faucet controls that would shut off the water intake.

Meanwhile, Sara was coughing roughly, having ingested some of the heated water and mildly panicking at the situation in her still drowsy state.

With the faucet stilled, both of them stopped moving which stopped the minor spillage onto the carpeted floor near the tub.

Sara was leaning over the edge of the tub and was inhaling deeply, her lungs still slightly reactive from her coughing fit.

Gil settled against the back wall of the tub, closing his eyes to quiet his pounding heartbeat.

When he opened his eyes, his mind registered the sight of Sara now hugging the side of the tub, her head lying on top of the rim as she hugged herself tightly, her shoulders shaking.

In a heartbeat, Gil moved towards her, stopping briefly in annoyance to tug at the remnants around his chained wrists.

"Sara?" he asked worriedly, in his gentlest voice.

_This remarkable woman has been through so much, especially lately._

_I wanted our honeymoon night to be memorable for its beauty, not a near tragedy._

_I should never have dozed off._

_It's just that…everything had been so perfect._

_From the moment we arrived and moved into the penthouse._

_I moved hurriedly, pulling up the edges of the satin sheet towards her as she asked me what in the world I thought I was doing._

_I had answered that I thought I was taking my new bride to bed for the first time._

_She had been startled as I moved to take all the edges of the sheet into my grasp with one hand while reaching behind her with the other to scoop her up off her seat, sheets and all._

_A few steps and I dumped her bouncing onto the bed as I shoved the sheet edges into their corners._

_Her additional bouncing had splayed the daisies over the surface and we had moved enough clothing to consummate our marriage almost fully clothed._

_Yes, it was hurried, but we were both so…ready._

_I never thought that at my age, I could pull it off the second time._

_But then she slowly removed my clothing, setting it properly on the lower edge of the bed._

_She wrapped those chains around my wrists so lovingly._

_And then she had begged me to relax, to let her show me just how much she loved me._

_She had slowly removed her own clothes, returning them to a similar position next to mine, just as she had found them earlier tonight._

_After that amazing interlude, feeling her lips and her body –oh the things she can do with that body…_

_After all that, she was untying one of my hands, not realizing the other hand had come undone as I reacted to her movements._

_That was when I grabbed her as I swung us both out of our bed._

_She was shrieking, laughing as she grabbed her bouquet to dash against my bare chest feigning a struggle as blooms popped off onto the floor._

_I just wanted to snuggle together in the hot tub as I had promised her earlier that we would._

_I never expected to doze off, it's just that it has been a long day…I never should have dozed off._

_She must have swallowed some water. She was so panicked._

_I must have ruined everything._

_I'm sorry, Sara._

"I'm sorry, Sara," he spoke aloud, moving his hands towards her shaking form cautiously.

He wasn't sure what to expect when he reached for her, turning her in his arms to face him.

But the last thing he expected was to see, with the tears still falling from her eyes, an amazing face-splitting grin.

He pulled her towards him, confused, as suddenly the silent cries that occur when someone is laughing so hard that no noise can emerge were replaced with an ear piercing howl of laughter.

Gil looked at her, still somewhat concerned as she was gasping for air, but then he couldn't help but join in as her screams of laughter became contagious.

They sat there, laughing together, for almost a full minute before Sara calmed down enough to utter a single phrase through her hiccups, her hand reaching to cup the side of his face lovingly as her eyes sparkled in merriment while her lips whispered, "Oh, Gil!..."


	45. Chapter 45

A/N: This slightly shorter work has been seeking exit from my thoughts, desperately wanting to be released onto paper… Unfortunately, my work hours for this week were extended, and I found myself able to read some stories on break, but unable to write… Unhappily, I am going out of town, with no computer access, Thursday morning until late Sunday night… My summer job is now complete, but the regular job starts up again on Monday… I am promising another chapter as soon as possible, but wanted you to know about the delays…This chapter is setting up the next stage of storyline, and these two were adamant about letting you in a bit more on the honeymoon night…and as they let us observe, for the most part I have to agree with Jade40, who said in a review, "I don't need the sex (for it) to be sexy"…and I have always loved how these two banter with each other…sigh…thanks for the amazing reviews and reader support…you are all so terrific…hope this pleases… -Kathy

--

About an hour later, the rear service entry doors to the crime lab slid open and closed almost silently.

With most of the night shift on vacation leave to attend the wedding, members of both day shift and swing shift were covering the overnight hours with a skeleton crew.

The labs were humming in overdrive, as the graveyard staff was not in their usual rhythm leaving the substitutes to demand their evidence be processed STAT without regard to their colleagues' cases.

The empty halls and altered work mode provided a perfect backdrop for Nick's arrival.

Bearing his credentials hanging from his belt loop, he was wearing his uniformed cap with brim slightly lowered.

With his head tipped downward, moving with an assurance acquired from years of experience in the lab, Nick moved without notice in measured paces towards the hallway leading to the evidence lockers.

Glancing quickly over his shoulder to be sure his entrance was undetected, Nick grabbed his handkerchief from his back pocket and turned the doorknob.

Once inside, he closed the door and then turned on the light.

He moved with certainty towards a row of boxes near the middle of the first shelving unit.

One of the last cases he had worked on during Sara's absence involved a college senior who had been charged with selling GHB, a synthetic drug sold for use at teen venues such as raves.

As he moved, he thought about the DEA information on the drug he had gleaned in his trace analysis workshops:

- Overdoses usually require emergency room treatment, including intensive care for respiratory depression and coma. As of November 2000, DEA documented 71 GHB-related deaths.

-At higher dosages, unconsciousness, seizures, severe respiratory depression, and coma can occur.

-In lower doses, GHB causes drowsiness, dizziness, nausea, and visual disturbances.

-GHB has been used in the commission of sexual assaults _**because **__**it renders the victim incapable of resisting, and may cause memory problems that could complicate case prosecution.**_

The CSI's had collected and processed a huge amount of the drug, and the evidence had been presented at the defendant's preliminary hearing.

On his drive over tonight, Nick had formulated a daring plan to rescue his Sara.

He smiled as he thought about the large amount of this drug that had been mixed at the perp's off-campus apartment.

Both Nick and Sofia had testified at the hearing, and even now Nick was tingling with pride at getting this guy off the streets.

Turning to the supply station near the doorway, Nick grabbed a pair of latex gloves and moved towards the box on the third shelf.

Tugging expertly on the six-inch strips of yellow EVIDENCE tape, Nick removed them without disturbing the thick covering of the corrugated surface.

Opening the container, he smiled at the varied sizes of containers, pushing the larger bottles on top until he spotted the one for which he had been searching: a small sample size plastic tube.

This "taste test" container contained a single capful of the powder, just the required amount to render an unsuspecting victim defenseless.

Nick smiled as he mentally added, "…and without any memory of what occurred…"

Moving swiftly, he pocketed the vial, and was in the process of reapplying the lid to the storage container when a quiet voice from the doorway shattered the silence.

"Nick! What are _you _doing here?"

--

Meanwhile, the bath water was now getting colder and the newlyweds felt it helped cool them off after another round of "I'll wash your back, if you'll wash mine" had, over time, regressed into "I'll wash your front, if you'll wash mine".

Sara lounged against Gil's broad chest, his arms limply moving his hands up and down her side following their latest workout.

Gil detected a slight shiver from his bride, and as fatigue was rearing its ugly head, he had to reluctantly acknowledge that this shiver had nothing to do with his ministrations.

"Honey, let's get out of this tub. Water's getting too cold now," he spoke as Sara leaned back in an attempt to stop his exodus from this watery bliss.

"We can put in more hot water," she protested as she twisted her head to speak, looking adorably flushed from Gil's prowess as a lover.

As with everything else Gilbert Grissom did, he was nothing if not thorough.

"_Sara_," he responded in his best no-nonsense, authoritative voice, conceding to himself that he stood absolutely _no_ _chance _of winning these battles, knowing that - in _this_ marriage - _she_ was going to be the "authority" in matters of lovemaking solely because he would never muster the true courage to deny her anything.

But, that wouldn't stop him from trying.

"Sara, we've been in this tub almost two hours! The water has gotten cold, and I really think we should stop shivering and go enjoy the warmth of our comfortable, king-sized bed!"

"Oh, honey…are you that cold?" she asked sweetly, almost batting her eyelashes at him in feigned worry.

"Sara, the water jets are bubbling cool water all over us, and I have trouble being romantic when I'm freezing!"

"Oh…well, if you…uh…are having _trouble_…uh…_you_ know…then, I think we _should_ get out…I…uh…can understand how…_embarrassing_…that must be when a guy can't…uh…_you_ know…"

Gil sat up a bit straighter, wanting to immediately squash any misunderstanding about his ability to react to his wife's seductive libido.

"Don't misunderstand, Sara, there's _not _a problem…I _don't_ have a _problem_… not _any_ problem…hot or cold water _won't_ affect my _ability_ to make love to you…_ever_…_no_ problems with temperature…not in the middle of the desert in the heat of day, or the cold at night…and _certainly_ not in this _tub_!"

"Oh," Sara replied simply, twisting away from him to snuggle her back against him again, and so he wouldn't see her satisfied smirk.

"Okay, then. Fine."

He closed his eyes, and began to move his arms around her as he closed his eyes a moment to regroup, thinking:

_good…okay…just so she understands what I am talking about..._

"Gil," she twisted around, her breasts sliding easily against the smoothness of his bare chest, "_then_…we can stay just a few more minutes?"

He sighed and then pulled her close to him, kissing the top of her head then releasing a dramatic sigh. "As you wish, my dear."

She smiled, loving that she had him wrapped around her little finger.

Knowing she was pushing her luck, Sara lifted her chin high enough to press a firm kiss on his lips before speaking.

As she moved away, Sara felt his chest move with the contented sigh he emitted.

Gil now rested his head back against the rim of the tub, closing his eyes contentedly just as he heard Sara pout, "But _Gil_…I'm _cold_…can we _please_ add a little more hot water? _Please?_"

Without opening his eyes, he sighed in defeat holding her closer to him as he moved only his feet.

His toes stretched to open the large drain, which immediately started to lower the water level as Sara softly squealed happily while slipping from his grip and sitting forward, reaching for the hot water controls.

As the cooler water retreated below and the remaining upper level of water started to warm deliciously against their naked bodies, Sara turned and knelt between her husband's legs for a moment before bracing herself for a belly flop, diving onto her unprepared spouse.

Although Sara had kept most of her weight suspended by holding onto the tub sides, Gil almost bolted upright as he shook his eyes open to find her face-to-face with him, grinning evilly.

She was perfectly fitted over him, her jarring motions having awakened his response to finding her now straddling his hips.

Instinctively, his toes flicked the drain switch _up_, finding his anatomy mimicking the motion.

The water was heating up nicely, as were their kisses.

"I love you, Gil" she whispered, grinding herself into him as she rubbed his chest.

"I love you, my Sara," he responded, twisting slightly to urge her into position.

They came together easily, forgetting about all the times in the past when he thought _he couldn't do it, _or when she thought _she needed to move on_.

In this space, _their_ space, there was no hurt-filled past, no dream-filled future.

There was just them, expressing their love in the most intimate profession of their union – a union not merely of bodies, but of souls.

Their minds were so concentrated on the height of their passion, that neither noticed the telltale warning signs as for the second time in this early morning, the emergency drain was gurgling while their frantic rocking motions were causing the waves to rise and spill over the porcelain dams onto the richly carpeted bathroom floor…

--

Brass scrubbed his hands over his tired face earning him Catherine's full attention.

Scrutinizing his appearance, she realized that his fatigue stemmed from more than a lack of sleep, as they were all seasoned veterans of late night investigations that often melded into double shifts.

_He's still worried,_ Catherine thought, not quite able to empathize as she was sure Sara and Gil were safe.

_I have never seen anyone obsess over Sara as Jim has these last few hours,_ she shook her head.

_Methinks I spoke too soon, _her thoughts borrowed from something Grissom would say, as she watched Warrick's long stride cross the long lobby towards them, followed by a grim looking Logan.

Brass was startled into a standing position as he heard Logan's plea, "Jim, please…tell me you have good news!"

Jim smiled crookedly as he related the details of Gil and Sara's wedding.

Brass was somewhat surprised at Logan's lack of surprise.

He smiled on a sigh, "So…they're okay…"

Catherine nodded, pointing to the elevators.

A uniformed officer was posted, sitting right at the front of the closed doors. It would be impossible to enter or exit from the elevator without running directly into the officer.

"That's their private elevator. Honeymoon penthouse suite."

Logan grinned in spite of himself, the full force of his smile dimming slightly as he turned from Catherine back to Brass.

Jim spoke first.

"We have an APB out on Nick, but…" he began with Logan speaking to complete his sentence.

"…but without knowing what he's driving, if he's driving…you aren't very hopeful, are you?"

"Have you spoken to Lillian?" Catherine asked, playing the small percentage that Nick had not pursued Sara and was merely hiding out on the ranch.

Logan turned slightly, his silence enough of an answer to her question.

Almost wistfully, he lifted his head as he closed his eyes, posing his question to the cosmos, "Where is my son?"

--

"Nick! What are _you _doing here?"

The evidence box almost crashed to the ground, only his reflexes saving him from having to answer some tough questions.

Straightening, he placed the lid back on the box before turning to face the person who now was closing the door softly behind them.

"I could ask you the same thing!" he retorted emotionally, as he stepped forward.

"Well, when I was so rudely asked to "not be late catching a return flight to Vegas", I was able to make the last connection before the fog rolled in.

I got bored at home, so I decided to come in and give graveyard a hand, seeing as I nothing "better" to occupy my time," she said seductively, as she moved forward to now find herself standing face-to-face with Nick.

He grabbed Sofia roughly, pulling her tightly to him as he backed her up against the supply station desk.

"Hmmm…is that something in your pocket, or are you just that glad to see me?" she teased, as her thigh rubbed painfully against the vial Nick had put in his front pocket.

Releasing her slightly, repositioning himself between her legs, Nick was already pulling her shirt out of her trousers when he felt her hands pushing him away.

"Not a good place, Nick," she protested, worried about discovery of their illicit affair.

"No one comes in here," Nick answered gruffly, continuing his attempts to disrobe her.

"_I_ came in here," she replied logically before using all her strength to halt his advances.

Furious, Nick grabbed both of her wrists, twisting them behind her, the action baring her heaving chest before him.

"_Never_. Refuse. Me." he forced out angrily, pulling her body towards him as he attacked her lips roughly.

After a moment, he released her tongue as he pulled back while shoving her away from him.

"Now. Go close the door."

--

Once they had reached their climax, Sara had moved weakly to lay over him.

That was when they heard the splash.

Remaining interwined in each other's arms, they moved as one to peer over the side of the tub, where most of the light colored carpeting was now a deeper shade.

"Whoa-" Sara chortled, breaking out into a bout of uncomfortable laughter, spinning briskly in his embrace to turn off the hot water still exploding from the faucet.

"Gil?" she spoke through her giggles, watching him extract himself from her arms and step out of the tub.

While he originally had kept his calm as he calculated what replacement of the entire bathroom carpeting (and probably ceiling tiles from the bathroom below) was going to cost them, Gil was relieved when he realize the carpeting was vinyl backed plush.

_So…no ceiling problems down below. This stuff is lightweight, easy to dry without concern for mold…_

In stepping over, his large hand reached for their terrycloth robes that had rested directly outside the tub.

That's when he realized the robes had absorbed most of the spillage, and in checking their luxury bath sheets that bordered their robes, he sighed in relief that they too had sopped up most of the watery mess.

His relief was palpable, but when he turned towards Sara, he was a bit disconcerted when he found her eyes on him – as she continued giggling.

"Sara?"

"It's nothing."

"Honey-"

"Really."

"Sara…we promised…no secrets…"

"Okay, okay," she giggled, "it's just that you –"

"…that I…" he encouraged.

"It's just that you…look like a big prune!"

Gil looked down at his hands, arms, and legs. Indeed…_prune _came to mind.

Suddenly, Sara stopped giggling.

She was unsure about the look her husband was giving her.

_Had she offended him? Why was he looking at her that way? SAY SOMETHING!_

"Gil," Sara began softly, but was interrupted as Gil moved towards her with that unreadable expression.

He stared at her like she was a specimen under his microscope.

Gil gazed over her body and found that as she lay in the heated water, now calmed as the jets had stilled when the timer turned them off, Sara's body was also wrinkled in the same spots due to their excessive amount of tub time.

"Gil," she began again nervously, as he lifted his foot to return to the watery warmth, never taking his eyes from hers.

Sara gulped.

She waited.

Finally, when Gil had resumed his previous position, he broke the silence.

"I am not the only one who looks like a prune-" he began, his voice resounding with emotion.

"Gil…I only meant-"

He broke off her explanation as he grabbed hold of her upper arms and pulled her to look directly into his eyes.

"Do you remember our last conversation, in this very room, about prunes?" Gil questioned, raising an eyebrow for effect.

"Why, Mr. Grissom, I believe I do, " Sara responded sassily, happy that she had not caused him pain or discomfort with her remarks.

"I believe you said you liked prunes," she continued, moving her hands up his chest to rest in the damp curls at the back of his head.

But Gil surprised her when he just kept staring at her, shaking his head deliberately.

Her forehead knotted slightly, as Gil pulled her closer.

"My _exact_ words were '"Prunes are _my favorite_ fruit."

His head dipped towards her neck, nipping softly at the feel of her smooth skin there as he headed south while speaking.

"I like to bite into them first," he continued as Sara closed her eyes happily.

"And then suck out their juice, slowly…very slowly…" his movements deepening against her sighs.

Gil decided to deliver his message without further words, as Sara pressed against him as the warm waters surrounded them.

The newlyweds surrounded themselves with the silent language of love, the only discernible utterance of an occasionally whispered, "Oh, Gil…"


	46. Chapter 46

A/N: This chapter is rated **M **for the topic of sexual assault.

Working a bit late after _finally_ finishing the rest of tonight's take-home work, I am grateful for the patience of this story's very faithful reviewers and readers…You are terrific as always… Don't hate the messenger…These two tell their story on their own terms…More as soon as possible. –Kathy

--

Sara found herself barely on the cusp of consciousness, her mind only minimally aware of being carried by strong arms and lowered carefully onto the mattress' cushiony surface.

Through her mental fog, one thought surfaced: somewhere, very far away, someone was lovingly whispering her name.

If she could only concentrate, she would have realized that someone _was_ speaking softly near her ear, inhaling her scent as large hands deftly removed her few articles of clothing, piece by piece, until she lay exposed on top of the quilted coverlet.

Sara slipped back into the black void as her senses succumbed to the darkness, totally unaware of the movement of his hands over the most intimate parts of her body.

He stood erect, removing the vestiges of his own clothing while feeling his body react strongly to her proximity as it had lately whenever she was near him.

Although she was totally oblivious, he moved over her almost trembling in anticipation of this union, and soon they became as one.

Sara remained unresponsive as he thrust himself deeply within her, plying her face with kisses as he professed his belief that she would love him forever.

Although she remained still, he climaxed by whimpering her name as hot rivers of emotion flooded his eyes.

He smiled weakly, claiming her sleeping mouth in his, kissing his way down her neck only to rest his head happily there.

Moving off her, he lay back against the pillows as he closed his eyes and sighed deeply before rolling her onto her side, pulling her into a tighter embrace.

He wished she would awaken so she could participate more actively in their next round of lovemaking.

And he did love her.

He forgave her everything.

He looked over at his sleeping love with a smile of total bliss – and triumph.

He pulled her hand up to his lips, kissing her palm first before squeezing her fingers lightly to kiss each knuckle, pausing to bask in the radiance of the platinum band housing the 2-carat solitaire diamond which now nestled securely against the companion wedding setting.

Content to just sit and watch the woman he claimed as his, Nick stared at the rise and fall of her chest as Sara slept, blissfully unaware of her surroundings.

He glanced over at their suitcases lined up behind the locked door of the cabin, near their wedding attire in clear garment bags suspended from twisted hangar heads over the cedar doorposts.

The midday sun cast a pale light in the mountain cabin, the sounds of vacationers enjoying the water sports of Lake Mead creating a pleasant hum throughout the opened windows.

With Sara resting next to him, Nick relaxed for the first time in several days.

_We can stay here for a day or two, then head up to Summer Lake where we can stay just as long as we like._

_Away from everyone. No one knows she's with me. No one knows where we're going._

_Sophia will cover for us, run interference with Ecklie and the Sheriff…she knows how to get what she wants…_

_Besides, we were already on the books for an extended honeymoon…_

He wished he could see Gil's face when he realized that Sara had just up and left him, without so much as a _see you round, Gil!_

_Grissom will think she abandoned him._

_He should have realized that he never stood any real chance…she's mine…always has been…_

_Always will be…_

This thought made a huge smile spread across Nick's rigid features.

_He'll try to find her._

_Maybe he will eventually succeed._

_But she's with _me_ now._

_And if he comes after her…I'm ready for him._

This thought brought Nick's hazy gaze reflexively to settle on his carryon – and the loaded revolver housed inside it.

He tightened his possessive grip on Sara as his thoughts fled into the hostile scenes playing out on the backdrop of his imagination.

_Grissom lying in a pool of his own blood…_

_Grissom lying broken by the severe beating he suffered at my hands…_

_Grissom lying dead…_

He ran his fingers lightly through her hair, as he sighed contentedly for a second time, whispering, "And then, my love, it will be just you and me…"

As Nick continued to pet and paw her while he enjoyed his demented daydream, Sara continued to lay almost lifeless in his firm grip.

In the quiet solitude of this Lake Tahoe retreat, Nick's thoughts ran back through the kaleidoscope of events that occurred during the last seven hours…

--

_earlier this day, around 4:30 a.m. :_

Having finally agreeing that the hot tub was no longer living up to its name, Gil had finally cajoled Sara into giving up their watery retreat.

He stood and found his shower wrap, and had secured it around his waist.

Moving swiftly, he walked to the far side of the expansive bath, securing a dry bath towel for Sara.

He held out his hand, gazing adoringly into her eyes as he helped her stand.

Gil was pleased to see her ankle swelling reduced dramatically, noting that her movements were cautious but not producing any pain.

Nonetheless, he helped wrap the bath towel around her before scooping up her lithe frame into his muscular arms.

He delighted in the slight shriek of surprise that emitted from her puffy lips.

His chest swelled a bit with pride, knowing that it was his attentions to her luscious lips that had swollen them slightly, making her look utterly adorable and extremely desirable.

As if reading his mind, Sara just rolled her eyes dramatically and laughed, "You are _insatiable_, Dr. Grissom!"

Instead of laughing, he kissed her firmly in response.

Feeling herself beginning to respond, Sara found herself pushed away from him as he set her on the edge of the bed.

"Gil…" she began, as he knelt before her ostensibly to check her ankle and leg, but making no secret of his up close admiration of her entire lower torso.

"_Gil_…" she started again in earnest, wanting to gain his undistracted attention, as his eyes stayed on her ankle while his hands gently massaged her calf, working upwards to her knee, slowing climbing…

"GILBERT GRISSOM!" she spoke emphatically, her stern tone a complete antithesis of her facial expression.

"Yes, my love?" he asked innocently, his hands not stilling their exploration.

"S-stop!" Sara laughed, as he brushed over her upper thigh, a sensitive and ticklish spot for this new bride.

Gil's hands instantly ceased their movement, as his eyes darted to her face looking for confirmation that he had not injured, or worse, scared or worried her.

Looking into his questioning gaze, Sara felt her heart stop.

_He would never hurt me._

_He stopped…just because I asked him to._

_He thinks…does he think _I_ was worried??..._

_Even after all we've been through these last few weeks…guess he's still a bit unsure…_

Immediately, Sara pulled him close, her eyes closing at the feel of his head pressed lovingly against her breast.

"Gil…it's okay…really…"

She moved back to place both of her hands on either side of his face, kissing him squarely on the lips before looking deep into his unblinking eyes.

"It's just…I'm very ticklish, that's all…"

At this revelation, Gil inhaled deeply and smiled.

"I didn't mean to worry you, or…uh…push myself on you…" he said softly, raising his hand to restrain an errant curl behind her utterly adorable ear.

Sara moved forward, her hands grabbing around him as she pressed him closer into her open-legged grip.

She smiled and said in a surprisingly throaty voice, "I _only_ worry that one day, you _won't_ desire me anymore."

Before he could respond, Sara slipped a finger into the mock waistband of his towel helping it to slide precariously off his hips.

"So, I guess I better store up enough memories to last me a lifetime…"

And with that, Gil moved up and onto the bed, pulling a take-charge Sara with him…

A half hour later, the newlyweds were lying intertwined beneath the king-sized top sheet.

Gil, exhausted from the events of the last 72 hours, lay completely done in and snoring ever so slightly against Sara's ruffled hair.

Sara, however, was basking in the glow of her good fortune, trying to not let her guilt about her sudden departure from the ranch, rain on her honeymoon euphoria.

Fighting with these demons made her restless, and she worried about rousing Gil from his much-needed rest.

Moving slowly, Sara substituted her pillow for her presence in his embrace as she paused next to the bed to admire the sight before her.

_I love him so…my husband…my Gil…_

That thought made Sara realize that Logan and Brass still did not know about their hurried nuptials.

Forgetting her injury, Sara clamped a hand tightly over her mouth as she squeezed closed her eyes to keep her pain-filled gasp from escaping.

She had planned to twist around to the bedside table and retrieve her phone.

Now, she could only stand perched on one foot, anxious for the residual ankle pain to subside.

Sara found that she could maneuver forward if she relied on her good leg, hopping off her bad leg slowly.

Using this method, she finally positioned herself in the bathroom doorway as she turned to be sure Gil was still in a deep slumber before quietly closing the door.

Sitting on the broad tub edge, Sara now opened her phone to find several missed calls.

_Brass.  
Brass._

_Logan._

_Brass._

_Brass._

Her heart started pounding wildly.

_Nick._

Moving the keys to enter her inbox, she noted five messages from earlier that night…and one from just about an hour ago…

Sara closed her phone and breathed deeply.

She was once again filled with remorse for hurting Nick…after all, he had been a friend to her, a good friend, for more years than he had been her fiancé.

Her leaving must have been painful…having to face all those guests…and Lillian…

Sara sighed.

Her gaze flicked to the closed doorway leading to her Grissom, her husband, her life…

Her eyes moved back to her phone, her thoughts making her shudder slightly.

_This was not going to be easy._

_But I am going to have to speak to him sometime…_

Looking at the string of messages, Sara decided to bite the bullet…

She had never walked away from a challenge before…

With a deep intake of breath, Sara squared her shoulders and pressed the keys to play Nick's message.

She shuddered again at hearing his voice.

She had expected anger.

She had expected name-calling, blame-placing.

She had expected an argument.

She was not prepared for tears.

"_Sara…" _Nick's voice strained to be heard over the emotional quivering.

"_Sara…sweetheart…I…I understand…really…" _followed by a slight pause and a choking sob.

"_Please…darlin'…just…just call me…as soon as you get this…let me know-" _the release of a strangled sob.

"_-let me know you're safe…I need to know you're okay…I'm so sorry, darlin'…" _more sobbing.

"_I love you, Sara…just…please…call me and let me know you're okay…"_

A soft click. Silence_._

Sara hugged the phone to her chest.

He sounded so lost…so hurt…

She knew he would be hurt, but …she wasn't prepared for this…

Sara's hands were shaking.

_How could she have hurt another person this way?_

_Here she was, ecstatic in getting what she always wanted – her Grissom._

_What if she had been the one jilted, abandoned on her wedding day?_

Sara closed her eyes, remembering all the nights she lay alone in her bed, sobbing in despair as once again Gil had rejected her.

_And Nick had always been there for her._

Sara had no regrets. Nick had scared and threatened her.

_Yet, that was over now, wasn't it?_

_He said he understood why she left._

_He just wanted to talk to her, to be sure she was okay._

_And, if truth be told, she worried the same about him…_

_She could phone him._

_How could that hurt?_

Sara hobbled deftly to the door, opening it slowly to find Gil clutching her pillow securely.

Sara found herself wishing she were in that embrace right now.

"Gil?" she whispered loudly, wishing he would immediately awaken and she could talk to him about her quandary concerning Nick's message.

"Gil!" she tried again, a bit louder, hoping against hope that he would stir.

But the lack of sleep, the worry, and the exhilaration of the last few days had taken their toll on her husband, and he did not stir from his position.

Sighing softly, Sara returned to her perch and glanced at the phone in her hand for a full five minutes before gearing up and decisively hitting the CALL button.

Nick had been parked on the second level of the hotel garage, waiting calmly for Sara to call him.

He was becoming a bit agitated as he refused to think of what Sara was doing that was preventing her from returning his call.

He had placed that message on her machine, laughing quietly at his sterling performance.

If he knew Sara, she'd be so filled with guilt over hurting him that she would not resist calling him.

And once she made that move, Nick would soon have her eating out of his hand.

So after a brief interlude of silence, he smiled broadly as his phone chirped and he raised it to eye level, seeing her name emblazoned on the display.

One last scan of the parking garage revealed he was alone, and he inhaled/exhaled sharply several times before picking up the phone, sounding out his message on a sigh, "Sara…"

--

The midday sun peeking through the corners of the full wall draperies was the only indication of how long Gil had been asleep.

His first waking thoughts, as his consciousness returned, were of Sara.

He hugged the pillow with closed eyes, inhaling deeper and deeper as he became more awake.

He loved her scent.

He had loved her body well last evening.

He would love _her_ forever.

He rolled slightly forward, expecting to find her lounging beautifully on the other side of their king-sized bed.

He frowned as his opening eyes revealed she was not there.

Gil moved his head sideways, expecting to find her sitting in a chair.

His heart started beating faster as he bolted upright in bed and called anxiously, "Sara?"

The silence that resounded was deafening.

Gil jumped out of bed, checking the bathroom, and rechecking the tiny living room to be sure she wasn't resting on one of the couches.

Now in full CSI mode, Gil stood still and surveyed the evidence before him.

He felt a bit better,

- noting that her travel clothes and purse were gone,

- seeing that the luggage cart that he had haphazardly left in front of the elevator had been moved,

- NOT viewing any signs of a struggle.

These facts led him to the inescapable conclusion that Sara had left under her own volition.

His heart sank, he missed her already.

_But obviously she needed something, or she wouldn't have taken her purse…_

He noted her crutches lay where he had placed them upon their arrival.

_She obviously wasn't going far, or she would have taken them…_

Searching the room quickly, he found the hotel pen and writing pad in its original spot by the phone.

_She didn't leave me a note, so she must have just stepped out._

Pressing the elevator button, he had to wait a moment before the doors opened.

There, on the floor he found a daisy petal, looking as if it had been squashed by weight of someone's foot.

_There is no shoe print around this damp petal…and her shoes are still near the bed…_

He glanced around in full investigative mode, his eyes falling on the keys for this elevator's three options: _first floor, mezzanine, and penthouse._

Gil gave a fleeting thought to the keys, thinking that Sara must have gone to the main lobby which would gain her access to the main desk and the front doors leading to the Strip.

_She'd really have no reason to get off on the mezzanine…all she'd find there would be the alternate entrance to the parking garage, and the hotel's Tea Room…_

Noting the time, Gil ran a hand through his tangled curls.

_Perhaps I could just phone her_, he thought, looking around to confirm her phone was no longer on the nightstand.

Gil felt a bit guilty, not wanting Sara to feel like she had to inform him of her every move.

Still…

The hairs on the back of his neck were standing straight up, and he was beginning to get that uneasy feeling that everything wasn't as it seemed.

When Gil flicked open his phone, he swiftly hit her speed-dial number which went immediately to voicemail.

_Now that's odd…Sara always leaves her phone on when she is away from a landline…_

Sighing deeply, he regrouped just as the machine greeting signaled that he could begin speaking.

"Sara? Honey…I…I was surprised you aren't here…please call me? I miss you…"

Gil quickly closed the phone, surprised that his voice cracked at the end of that message.

Something was wrong…he knew it…there was no evidence…he never relied on intuition…but he just _knew_…

Clicking open his phone again, Gil noted that Brass' messages had filled his inbox.

Angrily, Gil worked to erase them unheard, as he bitterly conceded that if Sara _had_ been trying to phone him she would have been unable to leave him a message.

After a moment, staring at the now empty inbox, Gil calmed enough to realize that Jim had to be worried about them, as it was almost a whole day since they had parted in Texas.

Begrudgingly, Gil pressed the speed dial for Brass' phone, his heart sinking as on the second ring Brass barked anxiously, "Dammit, Gil…it's about time!"

--

Nick's performance had been so convincing that after almost a half hour of pleading, Sara had agreed to meet with him.

Pretending that he didn't know where she was, only that he had come back to Vegas in the last few hours to find her, Sara gave him the hotel information.

Fearing that Logan or Brass might be following him, Nick slyly asked Sara if there was someplace they could meet without having to endure the noisy throngs of the main lobby.

Now, Nick had worked enough cases to know that the mezzanine Tea Room seemed to be designed with adulterous trysts in mind.

As a rookie a year or two before Sara came to Vegas, he had also worked a suspicious death in the penthouse and was aware that the private elevator was routed to stop at the second floor to gain access to the romantic hideaway.

So Nick feigned ignorance of the facts, and was more than delighted to accept Sara's invitation to meet for a few minutes in the Tea Room.

The beautiful décor was soothing, and Nick played the role of the perfect gentleman – not even attempting to kiss her cheek or shake her hand when she had entered.

They sat at a table in the first hideaway near the door, her back to the room.

Upon seeing him waiting for her, Sara began to shake slightly and flexed her fingers to release the tension in her body.

She was tired after her honeymoon marathon with Gil, and was taken aback by the surge of emotions that surfaced when she had to confront Nick for the first time after "leaving him at the altar".

Sara was grateful that at the last moment she had grabbed her purse, she felt she would need the purse pack of Kleenex it contained.

Opening it to retrieve one to wipe away the few tears that fell as she looked into Nick's sorrowing eyes, his gaze fell on the two prescription bottles the small bag contained.

Feigning worry, Nick reached out to grab her hand as he spoke.

"Darlin' ? Wha- what are these?" his eyebrows raised as he grabbed the two unmarked bottles.

Sara, glad for the momentary distraction, quickly related how both doctors had prescribed the Valium for her injury, although the dosage seemed too strong for her system.

"I just can't take them…they make me off-balance...Dr. Craig said if I took them for any _real_ amount of time, I'd be almost delusional…" she shuddered, remembering the odd feeling of not being able to trust the sights and sounds around her.

As if to seal the discussion of the drugs, Sara grabbed them from Nick's grasp and firmly placed them back in her bag.

"Darlin'…I'm sorry if I upset you…seems I'm always doing that…" Nick dramatized, finding Sara's expected reaction as she reached across to pat his hand.

That's when he saw it.

_The distinctive markings…were they butterflies?..._

_Sara is wearing _his_ wedding ring!_

Nick's jaw clenched tightly. When his eyes closed and he lowered his head to regain his control, Sara couldn't bear that she had hurt him so deeply.

She squeezed the hand she was holding.

"Nick…I never meant to hurt you…but…I love Gil-"

If he had been wavering in carrying out his plan, her words sealed her fate.

_One more act to this little drama…_Nick thoughts ran wild, as his rational side shut down completely_._

Smiling with that boyish charm that had broken many hearts over the years, Nick inhaled deeply as he tried to remain calm.

Reaching over to the pot of steeping tea, Nick reached over with both hands to lift it expertly from its spot in the tea cozy.

He poured some of the contents of the pot into the nearest teacup, into which he had emptied the small vial he had stolen from the evidence locker just before Sara arrived.

Placing it before her, Nick pulled back while keeping eye contact with her.

He gave her a small smile as he picked up his bourbon and water.

Raising his glass towards her, Sara smiled weakly as she raised her small teacup to meet it.

Hearing the soft clink of glass on china, Nick said, "Here's to weddings…and honeymoons…"

Sara's smile faltered, but Nick was so charming and he seemed to be trying to understand…

Sara lifted the cup to her lips, sipping first, then adding sips until she finished it off.

The warmth of the liquid felt good going down.

Sara would tell you that she felt better about things, and that she was glad to have this face-to-face meeting with Nick, to air out their feelings, and make peace with each other.

Sara would have told you that – if she could get her mouth in sync with her mind.

Finding herself instantly woozy, the result of her lack of anything substantial eat added to the active late night start of their honeymoon was compounded by the dosage Nick had slipped in her teacup.

Attempting to stand, Sara could merely rest her arms on the table.

Taking advantage of her present posture, Nick glanced innocently around the room and found them quite alone.

Reaching into his pocket, Nick retrieved the small velvet box from his jacket pocket.

Opening it to find the contents intact, Nick removed Sara's engagement ring and the wedding ring Nick was to have placed on her left hand a scant day before.

Trying unsuccessfully to keep her head up, Sara struggled in vain to release herself from Nick's grasp.

As her eyes closed, Sara couldn't see the glint of domination in Nick's eyes as he yanked off the wedding band Gil had placed on her finger less than six hours ago.

Tossing it to the wind, the beautifully engraved symbol of eternal love rolled zigzag across the floor, bumping into the sidewall of the reservation podium before weaving slightly onto its side and lying in the shadows, almost hidden from view.

Uncaring as to the fate of his rival's jewelry, Nick slipped his own rings back onto Sara's hand before leaning back and smiling.

_She's so beautiful…and she's all mine…_

Reaching again for his jacket, Nick left Sara leaning passed out against the table's edge as he quickly reviewed the alternate backroads route to Lake Tahoe.

He had called ahead to reserve a honeymoon cabin in the woods, off the beaten path.

This halfway stop would be about a six hours drive, and although Nick was a bit tired, he knew he would be okay to drive the distance….after all, he now had what he came for…

--

Nick's thoughts now returned to the present.

He was focused solely on Sara as she twitched slightly, far from awake, but enough to make him stop to think of his next move.

When she woke, she was sure to be furious.

She'd want to go back… to _him…_

_I promise you, Sara…I will never let that happen…_

Nick was growing more agitated as he realized he only had at best another hour before the drug would lose its effect.

Not wanting to cause her to stir too soon, Nick slid Sara onto her side and removed himself from the bed.

Dressing quickly, he now paced the room wildly, his paranoia reaching new heights.

Just as he was about to strike out in a panic attack, his eyes spotted the answer to his dilemma.

In two large strides, Nick grabbed Sara's purse as a wicked grin split his face.

Grabbing the medicine bottles, Nick popped open one seal and shook out a single capsule into his hand.

Replacing the cap, he tossed the purse to the floor, setting the pill on the nightstand as he cracked open the water bottle with ease.

Now kneeling over Sara, Nick checked her breathing and pulse – both seemed stronger.

At his attentions, Sara instinctively moved in a drunken motion to push his offending hands away.

Instead, Nick grasped her with one hand behind her shoulders as he pried open her mouth and dropped the pill on the back of her tongue.

Sara lurched forward violently as she swallowed it, sputtering as Nick flowed small amounts of water to wash the pill down.

Satisfied that Sara could now remain under total control, Nick allowed her to flop back down onto the bed.

He stood over her, becoming aroused at the absolute power he now had to keep her off-balance enough to believe that her wedding to Grissom was, in fact, nothing more than a dream.

Shedding his clothes for a second time since their arrival, Nick began to enjoy another round of intimacy with his "bride", smiling as Sara's awakening limbs slightly moved in a fashion that he interpreted as desire.

Had he been able to decipher her confused state, however, he would have heard a small cry from deep within her disoriented mind calling, "Oh!...Gil??"


	47. Chapter 47

This chapter is rated **M** for mention of sexual assault

A/N: Had to sneak away from a ton of chores to finish this update today…this story is burning a hole in my subconscious…we need more than 24 hours in a day!…next update as soon as possible…angst continues, but if you use your well-honed CSI skills, you might be able to produce your own ideas of where this is heading…remember these two are true to GSR, and a happy ending…but there's a far journey until we get there…hang on, the wild ride continues…thanks for the incredible reviews and amazing reader support…as always, you are terrific…hope this pleases… - Kathy

--

Unable to sleep after her emotionally charged phone conversation with Logan, Lillian welcomed the dawn alone in the family room.

She had spent the last few hours just staring at the stacks of wedding cards, telegrams, and phone messages that threatened to overwhelm their beribboned baskets.

Elaborately wrapped boxes of all sizes sat unopened on the larger table, one corner haphazardly sporting a section of the silvery banner which had earlier hung happily over the area inviting all who entered to enter into the family's "Wedding Day – Happy Day".

But there were no happy memories of this day.

Oh, Logan had spoken eloquently about the couple's decision to "take a bit longer to assess their true commitment to this marriage".

He had garnered some supportive nods as a large percentage of these couples were themselves in second marriages.

The music had entertained, the catered luncheon was exquisitely presented, the guests had enjoyed their party seeking out Lillian to remark _ad nauseum_ about the maturity of the couple to wait until things were "right".

Lillian continued to burn slowly.

_Things were never going to be "right". Nothing was ever going to be "right" again._

_And it was all _Sara's_ fault…crazy, unbalanced girl…never liked her…the way she flirted with that horrible Grissom…she never was good enough for Nicky…_

_And now…now my Nicky has disappeared…_

_And Logan!...he has the _nerve_ to suggest – ARGH!_

Lillian found herself pacing again, as she had done through most of the night.

_Nicky…where are you?... please, call and at least tell me you are alright…_

Lillian didn't think Nick had run away to do harm to himself. She knew he was too stable to do something drastic in response to the pain that witch had put him through.

She understood her son better than his traitorous father…

_That man had blinders on him since the day he met that little whore…imagine accusing Nick of trying to force Sara to marry him – as if my Nicky wasn't a "chick magnet", as his high school buddies used to tease._

This thought made Lillian's face brighten slightly at the memories of the many young people who were always hanging around the ranch, visiting her Nicky.

She smiled at the memories of the many young men who used to flock around him, and the young girls who romped around, hoping to gain his attention.

Why, hadn't he been chosen "Most Popular" at high school class night?

In all those happy years, Nick had indeed formed some close and amazingly loyal friendships.

As if to prove a point to herself, she moved towards the basket of phone messages that continued to pour in even into the late hours.

Picking up the slips, she rifled through the top dozen created mostly in Emma Anne's impeccably script:

_- Hang in there, buddy. Let's get together for a drink. John_

_- Hey, call me. We'll shoot some hoops at the school. Dirk_

_- Whatever you need, Nick. No hurry about the car. James_

_- Call me soon, Nick. Road trip next weekend?. Bryan_

_- Call me. Andrew_

Lillian couldn't continue, tossing the slips carelessly back into their basket.

_Nicky…please call me. I just want you to come home, son. That way, you and I can face your irritating father when he returns…and prove… and PROVE to him that there is no way you stormed out of here to run after that little actress…_

She had to sit down now; her anger mixing with worry was making her lightheaded.

But she was determined not to sleep until Nick called.

_He knows I am worried. My Nicky will call. He'll call his mother…_

Straightening her shoulders, Lillian moved towards the secretary desk in the corner of the room.

Retrieving a fountain pen and some stationery, she returned to the table and sat next to the gift card basket.

Arranging the materials, she set out to open the first envelope and began copying the address, scrawling it on the first envelope of the pile of Thank You cards.

--

Sofia was sitting on her apartment couch where she wearily sat after coming home from working most of the graveyard shift.

At almost daylight, her living room was cloaked in shadows as her closed draperies sealed out the offending rays of morning.

The darkness made the lighted window of her cell phone incredibly easy to read.

This made the texts that flew between her and Nick that much more enjoyable.

As he sat in the garage waiting for Sara to call, Nick had passed the time texting graphic comments that even innocent eyes would not mistake for "cyber sex".

One of Sofia's comments, however, distracted him from the arousal she was stirring in his loins.

Her phrasing reminded him of something Lillian would have said.

_Mom!_

Nick closed his eyes as he lay his head back against the cool leather headrest.

_She must be worried sick. I left without even a word!_

In his troubled state, the only real remorse Nick was feeling about all that had transpired at the ranch with Sara was the unmistakable fact that he had left Lillian there to deal with the embarrassment of the cancelled nuptials.

Sofia was irked at Nick's sudden desire to end their session without helping her reach a climax.

Still, she forgave him when his last text suggested he would let her know when he had reached their destination, adding a thinly veiled promise to reveal their hideaway to her only for the purpose of continuing their very satisfactory rendezvous.

Now alone with her thoughts, Sofia brought a finger to her lips in a sultry gesture and bounced her head back softly into the cushiony softness of her oversized throw pillows as she clicked the SAVE button for this round of messages from Nick.

Settling back into the cozy comfort, Sofia decided to reopen the message inbox and reread their latest communiqués, dreaming of their next time together…

--

At the same time, Lillian jumped off the highback chair at the first ring of the house phone.

Her relief was palpable as the first strains of Nick's voice danced over the receiver held hopefully to her ear; his words stroking her worried heart, easing her mother's fear.

She asked if he was alright.

He promised he was fine.

She asked why he left as he did.

He held onto his temper, simply stating that dealing with the news of Sara's betrayal delivered on the heels of his father's insulting implication had become too much to bear.

She said she understood.

He mentally noted that this was exactly what he was counting on.

She asked where he was.

He said he had tried to return to Vegas, that he had a special project into which he had thrown all his effort.

She asked if it wasn't too soon to return to work.

He agreed that taking some time off would probably be in his best interests.

She wanted to know if he had crossed paths with Sara.

He answered honestly that he hadn't.

She started to say that was for the best, that he should keep his distance from that awful woman who had hurt him so.

He surprised even himself with the force of the venom in his shouting for her to never talk that way again about the woman he loved.

She was silent.

He placed the cell to his forehead, reining in his anger.

He spoke again, much softer this time, asking her to please understand how it was _his_ life, _his_ happiness on the line…that he had to handle this in his own way.

She took a deep breath and promised she would always support him, and that she understood that he needed to do what was best for him…even if that meant trying to get Sara back.

In his mind, her unwavering support gave him the tacit approval his twisted psyche was seeking to move ahead with his plan.

He spoke from the heart, telling her how he _always_ knew she was there for him.

She smiled.

She asked where he would go.

He was momentarily caught off guard and without realizing his _faux pas_ Nick revealed that he might head way up north, that he knew the perfect spot to get away from everyone and everything.

She smiled to herself.

As every mother would understand, a single phrase from her grown child would find him recalling the time the words were first spoken when he was young.

For a split second, Lillian was returned to the summer Nick had vacationed with his grandparents.

Every post card he sent that summer talked about his love of being "way up north".

She thought of how proud his grandparents would be of this fine young man today.

That thought kept her from recalling that he had inherited that land.

He was asking her not to mention this phone call, and she lost the train of thought completely.

She wanted to say more, but Nick was sounding anxious, hurriedly saying he was getting another call.

He quickly professed his thanks and blurted out his love.

She stood there staring at the receiver in her hand, filling the silence with the lonely note of the dial tone.

Lillian turned towards the table, but did not move forward.

_Nick had called._

_Nick was safe._

_Nick was counting on her to keep the call a secret._

Lillian smiled.

_He needed her._

She was not going to let him down.

Turning towards the main staircase, Lillian smiled tiredly as she ascended the steps slowly.

Sleep would come easy now…

--

The main lobby clock chimed three times as the Bellagio was swarming with uniformed cadets armed with high intensity maglites.

They focused on the first and second floors as well as the elevator.

The uniformed officer who had been on sentry duty was being grilled for a second time by Brass, fuming that it didn't seem possible that Sara could have left the penthouse without being seen.

The officer was clenching and unclenching his fist, trying for the fifth time to assure his superior that he had never once left the area, that no one had approached the area, that there had been no sound in the area, that there had been no suspicious activity _in the area_.

The tenor of the officer's tone, and the emphasis on his final phrase, helped Jim to accept that the statements were true.

_I shouldn't have listened to Catherine._

_I should have followed my gut, and forced myself into the penthouse._

_If I had…_

_If I hadn't been so careless…_

_This is my fault…_

His self-loathing pushed him away from the officer, who stood unsure of his next move.

Watching the detective trying to hold himself together as he walked away from him towards the marble staircase, the officer gritted his teeth.

Technically, his shift was now over.

_This had happened on my watch._

He glanced around, trying to collect his thoughts before heading towards the stairs.

These cadets are wet behind the ears…I'm sure an experienced hand won't hurt…The officer took the stairs two at a time, following Brass' trail, heading towards the mezzanine…

_--_

Gil stood in the center of the penthouse, having insisted he would process their honeymoon suite alone.

His mind was struggle to disassociate the surroundings from his memories.

His face rigid, there was no mistaking his stance.

His body language was screaming "Just leave me ALONE!".

He pulled on the latex gloves with a snap, but his mind didn't register the sensation.

He clicked on his maglite and started his meticulous search of the carpeting where Sara's clothing had lain, each sweep disclosing no evidence to his trained eye.

He moved the crutches and her shoes, his head shaking in involuntary dialogue with his investigative mind.

_She can't walk without these…she must be in pain…she wouldn't just _leave_ me…she wouldn't leave _me_…_

_She _wouldn't_…_

Gil slumped to the plush carpet, slamming his palms against his closed eyes in vain…the tears flowed freely.

After a deep breath, he let them fall.

He was broken.

After all that had happened, after all the years of pushing her away…

He finally knew what to do.

And they had been married.

And he had loved her.

And now every fear that had prevented him from acting on his love for her had come true.

His Sara was gone.

And his heart was broken.

"Sara!" he cried aloud, his anguish reverberating off the penthouse walls.

"Where are you?" he whispered, his shoulders heaving in silent sobs.

"I need you," he mouthed as his head slung forward tiredly onto his chest.

_I shouldn't have fallen asleep._

_I was dead tired._

_She probably called for me._

_She needed me._

_I should have protected her._

_I failed her._

_It's all my fault…_

After a few moments, the rage over his predicament narrowed his focus onto one person.

_Nick._

_Nick has something to do with this._

_I should have listened to those messages._

_There isn't a shred of evidence._

_But my intuition is screaming at me._

_He has her._

_  
I _know_ it._

_I don't know what he's done, or where she is._

_But I will find her._

_I will never stop._

_And when I do…_

_Nick Stokes will never be able to hurt her again…_

Gil's hand moved towards the sidearm he had fastened on when he donned his work clothes.

His wedding band flashed in the dim light.

He brought it up into his eyesight, twisting it slightly as he recalled how it felt to have her place it there, on his finger.

_She had looked at him with so much love._

_Forever._

_She had said it. _

_She had _meant_ it._

_And so did I…_

He stood suddenly, racing towards the elevators.

There was work to do.

He wasn't going to stop until he had his love, his Sara, safely in his arms again.

He pressed the button for the second floor.

--

Sara's found it hard to open her eyes.

They opened slowly, but it was hard for her mind to process her surroundings.

There was minimal light streaming through the closed draperies as nightfall approached.

She was finding it hard to focus, almost as if she was experiencing a doozy of a hangover.

Sara was not awake enough to remember where she should be, or whom she should be with.

So she was very compliant when a strong hand cupped her shoulder and plied open her mouth, depositing a pill on the back of her tongue.

She winced as she swallowed involuntarily, grateful for the soothing liquid that was being poured through her slightly open mouth.

Sara swallowed, reaching unsuccessfully for the water bottle to claim more of the liquid relief.

Her mouth felt unusually dry, but her hands were swatting aimlessly in the air as if they were disconnected from her brain's command to latch onto the water bottle.

She needed a shower, hoping the cool sprays would invigorate her lazy muscles and shake off this euphoric haze that clouded her thinking.

Her body was released onto the pillows and all thoughts of getting up remained unfulfilled fantasies.

Yet, there are some bodily functions that cannot be ignored indefinitely.

Sara decided to crawl to the bathroom and, upon finishing quickly to relieve the pressure of a full bladder, perhaps spend the rest of the day in bed.

Her plans changed dramatically as she brought her hands up to clear out her field of vision.

The first fuzzy glimpse of the platinum band caused her heart to stop.

Forcing her eyes to open, she strained to make them focus on her surroundings.

Turning her horrified gaze away from the double rings now adorning her hands, her head lobbed to the side – to see the gaudy wedding dress and Nick's tuxedo hanging next to each other above the wooden doorway.

She closed her eyes in terror…she tried to remember how they got here…

Not HERE…to this place…

_HERE…as in MARRIED here…_

Nick had been sitting silently in a corner chair, bemused at the confused look on her face.He was going to enjoy this…

Finishing his text message, he lay his cell phone on the short coffee table and stood quietly.

Moving slowly towards her as if it were the most natural thing for him to do, Nick sat down on the bed near Sara's head.

He watched her pupils dance wildly as he reached over to stroke her hair lovingly.

Suddenly, Sara was very aware that she was completely unclothed under the thin sheet.

Her eyes failed to keep a focus, as Nick grinned seductively as he leaned towards her.

"How are you feelin', darlin'?" he asked as if he had every right to do so.

"Nick-" was all Sara could force out, wishing this were just a dream but feeling as if this was just the beginning of an unending nightmare.

He leaned over quickly, swooping down like a vulture to capture her lips in a searing kiss.

He tugged at the top sheet, but found it held secure in Sara's grip.

Her defiance instantly infuriated him, as he stood and pulled the bottom of the sheet with such force that it went flying off towards the entryway of the cabin.

His long "conversation" with Sofia had left him in need of some immediate satisfaction.

Looming over a nervous Sara, Nick reached over and brought her hand up until it rested before her eyes.

"You're mine now, Sara."

He straddled her legs with his, effectively pinning her down beneath him.

"Remember what I told you before, Sara…and now that we're married, there _will_ be no refusing me," he spoke slowly with a slight menace in his tone.

"Nick," Sara began, but was cut off again by Nick's lips, his tongue demanding entrance.

"Please," she sputtered as he moved his attentions downward, but her limbs would not comply.

Sara found herself using the same mental retreat that had helped her in similar situations as a child.

She lay there, unresponsive, as her mind tried to make sense of the smattering of images that assaulted her semi-conscious state.

_A minister………no, a judge?…walking down the aisle, alone…"I'm giving myself away"… a fairytale dress...my real dress is hanging here…butterfly ring…but I'm wearing Nick's ring…walking down the aisle towards Nick, alone…someone saying, "Kiss the bride"…I wanted it to be Gil…_

Sara screamed as she felt him enter her gruffly.

Nick was angered, bruising her with a punishing kiss as she tried to retreat into her mind.

_I wanted it to be Gil…a closet floor with the dust disturbed where his suitcase sat…feeling abandoned…looking down at the daisies…a daisy swing…"I love you, Sara"…Emma Anne bringing in her wedding dress…_

She heard him grunt her name loudly as he finished. He didn't move off from her.

She wanted him off her…out of her…out of her life…

But this is my life…now and forever…

…_forever…_

_GIL!…I need you…please…_

The latest round of medication was fully absorbed now, and the sedative effect was consuming her tired body.

She felt him roll off her, lying next to her as his strong arms yanked her unceremoniously to lie across his chest.

He fed his fingers through her hair, causing her to look up into his closed eyes.

_Gil's bright blue eyes dancing as he held her on a spinning chair…leaning in to kiss her…_

Sara found her eyes closing in her daydream, puckering her mouth slightly in anticipation of a kiss.

Nick chose that time to open his eyes, immediately surmising what thoughts she was having that were the source of Sara's romantic look.

Fuming, he tossed her painfully onto her side, ravaging her mouth and neck viciously as she was in no condition to put up a fight.

He would make her forget Grissom.

He would make her forget _everything_.

She was going to be _his_ now.

_His_ forever.

And if he couldn't rid her of her memories of Grissom…

He would get rid of the _bastard_ himself…

Sara was lapsing back into a medically induced sleep.

The last thing she saw was Nick attacking her body, his head moving downwards from her line of sight.

The last thing she heard were his professions of love, dirty little words of how he would prove the depths of his love physically.

The last thing she smelled was the musky scent of his arousal as he entered her.

The last thing she felt was him entering her again, a bit painfully.

The last thing she thought as the darkness claimed her was, "Oh, Gil…"


	48. Chapter 48

A.N: Thanks so much for the reviews…I am posting this on the fly, family dinner is almost done…all mistakes are mine, I'll reread soon…just thought we should begin to see some movement out of the "pit of despair" these two find themselves in…so romantics, take heart!...these two continue to tell it in their own time…thanks to all those who took the time and gave their true feelings on the events of the last chapter… I remind you that these two are committed to GSR…but there is still a very rocky road ahead…more as soon as possible…you are one terrific group of readers!... hope this pleases…-Kathy

--

Twenty four hours later, Gil found himself back at his desk.

He was unaware just how long he had been sitting there, staring at Sara's ring.

He thought his heart had stopped when Brass turned unbelieving from the officer who had found it hidden in the carpeted shadows near the Tea Room's main entrance.

The look on his face told Gil the news was not good.

When the white gold first hit his palm, a sizzling sensation sparked through his body.

His vision blurred and he choked back the tears.

When his eyes finally fixed on Jim's face, both men felt their resolve firm.

They moved into action without another word, buoyed by their singular cause: finding Sara and bringing her back home safely – back to her new life with Gil.

Now, a full day and night had passed without the ability to rest.

Gil rested his head tiredly on one hand, staring down at the only link to Sara clasped firmly in his hand.

He became aware of someone standing in his doorway.

Imagine his shock to see Sofia standing there, boldly moving towards his desk now that she had Gil's attention.

Sashaying slightly, she perched herself on the edge of his desk as if she had nothing to apologize for in all that happened between them at the ranch.

Gil's blood pressure spiked, and his mouth began forming a biting retort to her overtly flirting words.

He was going to tell her how he knew all about her clandestine meetings with Nick.

_Nick..._

Ideas were assaulting him, humming so loudly they were almost audible.

_Sofia and Nick..._

_How long had their little affair been going on?_

_How could they be so shameless to sneak around right under Logan's roof?_

Gil sat up straighter in his seat.

_...right under Sara's nose?_

He moved forward involuntarily, his head cocked slightly as he inwardly read the images and realities that were being shuffled and rearranged in his scientist's mind.

That was when he noticed it.

Hanging precariously from the thin front pocket of her bolero style jacket, Sofia's cell phone was daring her to move, waiting to ease out into its impending escape.

…_how long _had_ their little affair been going on?...and was it _reallyover_?..._

_Perhaps Nick has been keeping in touch…_

_Perhaps Archie can trace the number, get a triangulation of his current whereabouts…_

_Perhaps Sofia's cell phone can break this case wide open…_

_Sara!_

_Forgive me…but as I told Logan, I will do what I have to do to find you and bring you back to me._

_I love you, Sara._

_Forgive me._

The plan forming in his mind, Gil's heart thumped in his chest as he leaned in a bit onto his forearm resting on the edge of his desk, Sara's wedding ring clasped firmly on his lap.

When his eyes snapped to meet Sofia's, she smiled.

She leaned forward, her shoulder posed seductively.

"I wondered if perhaps you'd be in the mood for…something," she began.

She smiled widely, her tongue lightly peeking out to wet her lips, and perhaps whet his "appetite".

Before he could issue the protests she was sure to be forthcoming, Sofia began a rant on how tired he looked, how he _must_ be hungry by now, how he didn't seem to be taking care of himself since all that "nasty" business on the ranch...

She couldn't see his fist tighten as he held onto Sara's ring.

"I _am_ quite tired," Gil relented, a plan now fully developed in the back of his overactive imagination.

"_Well_," Sofia purred, "we _could_ just get some takeout and go somewhere - quiet - to help you relax away from all this turmoil," she continued as her finger drew lazy circles on the desk in the proximity of his resting arm.

"Yes…that actually sounds like a good idea, Sofia…a very good idea, indeed…"

Gil's mind was racing as he leaned into her touch.

The wattage of the smile she sent his way could have relieved the energy crisis throughout the nation.

"Let me…let me finish up a few things and meet you at the front desk," Gil spoke softly, standing to usher Sofia out the door.

Ever the gentleman, Gil reached around Sofia to open the door.

She cocked her head flirtatiously to the right as she felt his left hand glide across her waist from behind, sending tingles throughout her body, before seeing his grip appear on the door handle.

Flinging her hair boldly over her shoulder, Gil maintained eye contact as he retained his grasp on the open door.

"See you soon," Sofia hummed.

Closing the door, he smiled as he looked down at the cell phone's display light up in his hand.

He smiled, grateful that Brass had indeed played all the cards in this game close to the chest.

Even though all the cadets and the CSI's searching the hotel had been sent to look for evidence of Sara's disappearance, there had been no mention of Gil and Sara's wedding.

This left the appearance of their relationship's status quo, helping to secure Sofia in the confines of the deceptive web Gil was beginning to weave.

Locking the door, Gil moved quickly back to his seat, anxious to examine any evidence of Nick's whereabouts on Sofia's phone.

His shoulders slumped as the only number in her phone list was Nick's department issued entry.

As luck would have it, just then the phone vibrated in his palm, signaling a new text message was arriving.

_I need to find Sara…oh, god…please let it be from Nick…_

He clicked the DISPLAY prompt key, and was pleased to see a message full of sexual innuendo on the screen.

Gil could hardly contain his excitement.

_Gotcha!_

His revelry was short lived, however, when suddenly there was loud knocking on the door.

"Grissom? Are you still in there?" Sofia called innocently from the hallway.

Swearing under his breath, Gil stared at the phone for five additional seconds before slamming it closed and allowing it to fall from his fingers onto the carpeted area under his desk.

He strode to the door with a heavy heart, but replaced his sullen expression with a fake smile before relaxing it as he opened both the door and the deadbolt simultaneously.

"Oh?" he commented in a curious tone, "was the door stuck?"

Sofia moved into his personal space as he stood in the doorway, her finger gliding over the retracted dead bolt.

"Sometimes the thingy gets stuck," she continued as she rubbed her finger over the bolt head suggestively.

"You might need some lubricant," she whispered secretly, her hand sliding up to meet his grip on the door.

Forcing himself to remain calm, Gil smiled mechanically and asked, "I'm almost finished, did you need something?"

Deciding against being too brazen before she figured him out, Sofia let that opportunity slide.

"Well…" she couldn't resist a touch of suggestion, "I seem to have lost my cell phone. I am sure I had it when I came in here."

Feeling as if he was tossing the only fresh lead to finding Sara, Gil reluctantly decided to return the phone until he could take it without making Sofia suspicious.

Sighing inwardly, Gil moved them both over to his desk where Sofia was suddenly bending over in front of him to search under his desk.

Her blatant sexual message sent bile rising in his throat.

His mind needed a diversion if he were to maintain his masquerade.

So he thought of Sara.

_Sara, face calm, sitting at a computer._

_Sara, face annoyed, going toe to toe with a suspect._

_Sara, face angelic, saying "I do"…_

Upon straightening, Sofia assumed his smile was in appreciation for her stretch.

Gil asked for one more minute to clear his desk, as he moved them again towards the door.

"Hope it won't be _too_ long," she added, the double entendre making Gil gag internally.

Sofia was disappointed when she heard the door close softly behind her, as he would miss her strutting away down the hallway.

Gil moved jaggedly to the couch, his energy expended by his turmoil of the game that was now afoot.

_But I will do anything…anything…to get my Sara back…_

After another second, Gil stood and grabbed his coat before shutting off the lights and moving swiftly down the hall.

The sooner he got this evening over with, the better.

--

Sara stretched slightly as her need for the bathroom had awakened her in this early midday hour.

Rolling to her side, she stopped the moan from escaping her lips as she lowered her legs to the floor.

Painfully, she stood erect for what seemed the first time in years and held on to the small dresser to limp slowly towards the bathroom.

Closing the door quietly, she sat quickly and closed her eyes as her body reacted to the relief of sitting and of the opportunity to empty her bladder.

Her legs showed slight bruising, the stream flowing felt uncomfortable.

Sara was still in a bit of a fog, her mind uncharacteristically blank as she sat there willing herself to not keel over onto the cold floor beneath the wall mounted sink.

She just about finished and was starting to stand when the force of the door opening before her sent her into her sitting position.

"Oh," Nick uttered with wide eyes.

"Just – just wanted to be sure you were in here," was all he could blurt out.

His panic swelled from awakening in their queen sized bed and finding Sara's side empty.

"Get out!" Sara spoke quietly but firmly.

_What is wrong with me? Why do I feel so disoriented?_

The immediate day's events played out in Sara's head as she took notice of the wedding rings on her fingers..

_Nick and I are married…_

_I don't remember any of it…_

_Nick hurt me…_

_I want to leave…_

_Something's wrong with my feet…_

_Nick hurt me…_

_I don't know where I am…_

_What's wrong with me…_

_I need Gil…_

_Please…_

_Help me..._

_Gil…I love you…_

_Find me…_

The door opened again as Nick stood there with a glass of water and something in his hand.

After forcing himself on Sara the previous evening, he had fallen off her into a deep sleep.

Because their location was quiet, after Sara's traumatic assault she had closed herself off to the world around her and had succumbed to her drug-induced fatigue.

But Nick had overestimated the strength of the prescription drug that was meant to be re-administered every eight hours.

Having slept continuously for over ten hours, Sara's system was gradually returning to its non-medicated state.

Sara attempted to cover herself with her hands splayed over her chest and lap, causing Nick to comment, "No need to be shy, Sar…nothin' I haven't already seen…and enjoyed…"

She wished she had a steel rod to wipe that disgusting smile off his face.

"Here," he said moving towards her with some speed, causing her to recoil slightly.

"Time for your medicine," he continued, knowing that she would be much more compliant once she was under its influence.

Sara shook her head.

"Sara," Nick warned a bit playfully as if he were speaking to a child.

"You know the doctor insisted you take your pill to help the swelling in that leg," he lied, moving to place the pill on her tongue.

Sara batted her hand a bit more surely, almost causing Nick to lose his grip on the pill while sending the water bottle to the floor.

"I told you, NO!" Sara spat, trying to sit up straight but still feeling a bit woozy.

"Sara-"

He was cut off by her insistent reply.

"I don't _like_ pills. I don't _want _pills. I won't _take_ pills!" she spoke angrily, staring down the increasingly agitated look in his eyes.

Before she knew it, he had moved with lightning reflexes to wrap her helplessly in his embrace, dipping her head and forcing the pill into mouth, watching as it dropped to the back of her throat.

He turned his head for a split second, cracking open the water bottle with his teeth and pouring some of the contents into her mouth as she struggled ineffectively in his grasp.

Sara's head lurch forward as if she was going to vomit, and Nick released her forcefully, confident that the medication was now on its way down, soon to make her less resistant to his demands.

Sara sat there with her head in hands, her shoulders shaking in what Nick could only interpret as silent sobs.

He turned and left the room, the door clicking loudly behind him.

After a second, Sara raised her head slowly.

Confident he was no longer watching her, her shoulders shook once more as she gave her gag reflex one final run followed by her stomach lurching.

And the pill popped out into her hand.

_Foster care had some positive aspects,_ she smirked, recalling how the older girls in her first placement taught her how to "half swallow" small contraband items and regurgitate them effectively.

Sara had found this technique particularly useful when her second set of fosters had tried to administer psychologist prescribed antidepressants.

Since then, it had become second nature for her to perform the maneuver…which now just might give her the upper hand in facing her present danger.

Sara sat staring at the slightly dissolved surface of the pill.

She could almost recognize the shape…but from where?

Her head started hurting and she wanted to do nothing more than steep herself in a tub of warm water.

But in her present state of dress, Sara worried about Nick deciding to come in, join her, and "help himself"…

Instead, Sara stood on unsteady legs and creaked open the shower door to turn on the hot water.

Using the complimentary bottles, she stood in the shower holding on to the cool tile sidewalls as she ran shampoo haphazardly through her dark brown locks, her nails snagging on the devil knots that had formed over the two days she had not brushed through her naturally curly locks.

The water rinsed over the suds as she picked up her chin to allow the water to run down her back.

_Chin up…leaning back into his broad shoulders…_

Sara grabbed at the wall, the force of the flashback almost knocking her off her feet.

The change of head position allowed shampoo suds to rain over her eyes, causing them to sting.

The mild hair cleanser, however, was not the entire cause of the tears that began to fall from her confused brown eyes.

Sara moved her body to press against the warmed tiles, as she once again lifted her head in imitation of her previous movements, closing her eyes to retrieve the flashback, desiring the comfort of this mini-memory as she whispered, "Oh, Gil…"


	49. Chapter 49

A/N: I stayed up late to finish this as I will have to work late a few nights this week…I'll post again as soon as I can…thanks for the heartfelt reviews and reader support…these two are making progress, but there are several barriers still to be overcome…next chapter will include what's happening with Brass and Logan…but this chapter just focuses on memories…hope it pleases…you readers are just terrific…more soon… -Kathy

--

Gil had suggested they stop for drinks at that little jazz bar off the Strip.

By the time he and Sofia had exited through the main doors of the lab, his courage was faltering a bit.

His plan was in a state of flux, as the thoughts of touching Sofia in any other than a strangling movement was causing him a flight response.

Moving into the darkened ambience of the nightclub, Sofia led him to a corner booth, a decidedly intimate spot.

Placing their drink orders, Gil resisted the temptation to order a double.

He hope he could resist the temptation to flee, his negative feelings towards Sofia multiplying with each affected wave of her hand or toss of her blonde hair.

"Come here often?" Sofia asked breathily, trying to imagine Grissom being at home in such a public atmosphere.

"I've always liked jazz," Gil answered truthfully, although he didn't add that he had become a huge fan since he overheard Sara tell Nick years ago of her penchant for John Coltrane's music.

Sofia continued speaking, but he became lost in the memory of Sara's surprise in hearing the strains of that bluesy saxophonist rising from Grissom's car unit as they headed out to the desert on an assignment.

_She had been particularly aloof towards him for a week after he had made some asinine comment after a case of a jilted lover poisoning her ex because, as she stated in her deposition, "I wasn't about to let him give someone else the life I was supposed to have."_

_Afterwards, as he and Sara had made their way back to the lab, Gil breathed out in agitation and commented about people who set themselves up for heartache because they irrationally refuse to realize that human beings can _never_ find a true "happily ever after"._

_As a criminalist, there was plenty of evidence to support his theory; after all, he had secretly loved Sara since San Francisco, but was realistic enough to know that he was completely out of her league. She deserved someone so much better than him._

_He refused to set himself up for the heartbreak of never having the happy ending about which _he _would fantasize._

_Gil remembered how taken about he was by her immediate reaction to his comments._

_Sara had stopped so abruptly, he almost ran into her._

_She had turned, stunned, and gazed into his eyes, unblinking._

_For a millisecond, Gil read the brief but unmistakable flash of hurt…no, it was more like heartbreak…that emitted from her sparkling brown eyes._

_His own heart screamed for him to grab her at that moment and never let go._

_He never wanted to see that look in her eyes again._

_As if she had read his emotions, Sara had quickly lowered her gaze, and mumbled something Gil suspected was better left unheard as she rushed towards her car and drove off without a goodbye._

_He remembered how he had slid behind the wheel of the Denali, leaning heavily on the steering wheel, angry at himself for upsetting her _again_._

_Gil had spent a week looking for a way to overcome this latest roadblock to their achieving a civil working relationship._

_Seven days of grunts and avoidance._

_He had missed her more each day, suspecting more as time went on that she was indeed the "happily ever after" that was meant for him._

_So when he overheard her comments to Nick about the Coltrane concert that had played on PBS, Gil acted on impulse and had bought a few of his cd's._

_Pairing them together for the forty minute drive into the desert crime scene, he recalled how he casually had turned on the stereo system, anxiously awaiting her reaction._

_At the first few measures of _BlueTrain_, his heart had skipped a beat as Sara morphed from sulking and staring out at the night sky to excited twisting in her seat, her face alight with excitement as she said she didn't know he liked Coltrane, too._

_The next forty five minutes were some of the happiest from that period in his life, driving under the beautiful Nevada night sky, the strains of jazz in the background, Sara unusually animated as she talked about her longtime love of jazz in general, and Coltrane in particular…_

"So I take it that's a 'yes'?"

Gil returned to the moment, his mind having difficulty comprehending that Sofia was waiting for a response to her most recent query.

Disoriented by the force of his memory, Gil swallowed heavily, grabbing his drink and bringing the glass to his mouth as he gulped greedily; he needed the scotch to ground him as his memory had served to exacerbate the pain he was feeling in Sara's absence.

Sofia sidled up closer to him in the booth, tilting her head suggestively as she said, "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were ignoring me."

Gil forced himself to set down the drink, the temptation to down the rest of his drink and order another was too great.

Gil again forced himself to smile at Sofia, turning slightly to intentionally press himself closer to her side as he spoke softly, "You, my dear, are impossible to ignore."

Sofia sat up a bit straighter now, delighting in his attention, twisting her own body to fully face him.

She moved her face closer to his, eyes on his lips as she moved closer and closer until Gil thought about what she was doing.

He wanted to die, his betrayal of his wedding vows weighing heavily on his heart.

_Forgive me, Sara…_

At the last moment, she moved her lips to his ear, whispering seductively, "Glad you noticed. I've learned to like _lots_ of attention," her tongue protruding in an exaggerated fashion on all the 'L' words so that she almost licked his ear.

In a single motion, Gil had moved over and out of the booth before Sofia could exhale again.

Gil fingered his cell phone which he had placed in its smooth leather carry case.

Before housing the phone in the rarely used carrier, he had placed Sara's ring carefully at the bottom of the pouch with his phone on top, insuring he would keep it near him, keep it safe, and keep it out of sight until he could place it back on the finger of the only heart that would ever join with his.

Standing now looking down on a perplexed Sofia, Gil thought quickly and extended his hand towards her.

"Care to dance?" he asked, his body reacting with self-loathing as Sofia batted her eyes slightly and raised her hand for him to pull her out of the booth.

Leading her to the floor, they danced for the rest of the current tune, Gil totally repulsed by the way Sofia continued to attempt closer full body contact as they swayed to the music.

The tune ended, and they stood there in each other's arms.

Sofia pulled back slightly, beginning to run her hands up the firmness of Gil's arms.

Just then, the band began to play the distinctive intro to _Blue Train_.

"Let's get out of here," Gil spoke as he disengaged Sofia from his grasp and moved towards the booth, tossing a twenty on the table as she followed behind him smiling wickedly as they emerged into the sultry air outside.

--

It was almost midnight at the cabin.

Earlier, Nick had gone out about nine o'clock, leaving Sara to rest in the cabin as he went down the mountain to get them a hot meal at the resort restaurant.

He assumed Sara had been asleep, as he continued to expect the drug was keeping he subdued.

Nick could not know the clarity of her thoughts was continuing to return with each passing hour.

However, the mixture of the Valium with the dose of GHB that Nick had first given to her had robbed Sara of the immediate details of her kidnapping as well as memories of the previous evening's events.

So while Nick had thought she slept, Sara had tossed and turned, trying in vain to regain some idea of how she came to be here with Nick, and what had happened since her last clear memory of waking up at the ranch on her wedding day.

Unable to calm her anxiety over her predicament, Sara decided to make her way to the bathtub and have a nice long soak.

It took some effort to maneuver herself into the old style, ceramic footed tub but its wide sides made it easy to grasp as she lowered herself down into the water…

…_strong arms supporting her back as she lay back into the liquid warmth…_

Sara bolted upright at the flashback.

As with most drug-induced short-term amnesia, as the drug effects recede the mind will release 'snapshots' of random events, usually triggered by a sensory experience.

She closed her eyes against the heartache of her lost hours, willing herself to relax and rest.

The faucet continued to pour hot water into the tub, the steam rising to warm the room.

Sara was so deep in reflection that she hadn't noticed the water level rising, tickling her lower lip.

The sensation caused her to start, almost losing her balance as she jerked her body in an effort to sit upright.

This caused a small bit of warm water to flow into her mouth, making her sputter and shake to rid herself of the taste and sensation.

Sara reached for the controls to turn off the running water, but her movements caused a small tidal wave, splashing water over the edge.

_Whoa!…_

She leaned back against the warmth of the rounded tub back, turning instinctively to watch-

_Who?_

Now very confused, Sara thought to herself that she should just relax and sit back, as soaking her injured ankle in hot water was just what the doctor had ordered…

_Doctor?_

She frowned.

_Daniel?_

Sara was sure she didn't know a Doctor Daniel…and yet…

By this time, Nick had come home and calmed his racing heart when his ears heard what his eyes couldn't see.

_She's still here…she hasn't left me…we're still together…_

Glancing at the hour, he reached for the pill container and retrieved another water bottle from the small refrigerator before moving towards the bathroom.

Knocking softly, Nick pushed open the door and saw his lovely Sara soaking her beauty in the oversized bathtub.

"Hello, beautiful," he began nicely, hoping they could have one night without a confrontation.

Sara opened her eyes but said nothing, her face unreadable.

"Time for another dose," Nick approached warily as he knelt beside the tub.

Sara closed her eyes for a second before sitting up slightly and extending her hand.

Nick smiled broadly as she popped the pill, dipped her head as she gagged slightly, before sipping on some water.

He reached out to tuck a stray hair behind her ear, happy that she did not pull away.

"Well," he said as he stood, and for one heart stopping second Sara thought he was going to stay.

"I guess I'll go get supper ready for us. Can you be ready for supper in about fifteen minutes?"

Sara only nodded in reply.

Nick bent over and kissed her forehead before heading out the door.

The latch no sooner clicked than Sara was producing dry heaves.

_That was close._

The second gag produced the pill, which had started to disintegrate leaving a burning feeling in her throat.

Sara chugged the water, emptying the bottle.

These distractions had caused the water to turn cool, making Sara debate about getting out of the water.

"_I'm _cold_…can we please add a little more hot water? _Please_?"_

That familiarity of that flashback made her quiver with anxiety.

_The memory…it's right there…I'm- afraid…what if I never remember?_

The smell of supper being unpacked added to the stress of her increasing flashbacks made it easy for Sara to decide to leave the warmth of the bathtub.

Her feet hit the bath mat.

She wrapped the towel around her like a sarong.

As she sat on the edge of the tub to dry her healing ankle, another scene was revealed.

_Her hands reaching into the waistband of a man's bath wrap, causing it to fall open…_

Sara shivered at this memory.

_Had I done that to Nick?_

She donned her full length cotton nightgown and went out to the dining room.

Nick had unpacked most of the meal, consisting mostly of Chinese rice and egg rolls, cheese and crackers plate, and a large platter stacked high with an amazing variety of fresh fruit.

They ate in companionable silence, as Nick continued to assume her lack of conversation was drug related.

"Hope you're finding this cabin comfortable. I had to extend our stay a few days," Nick spoke happily.

When Sara looked at him, he smiled.

"No, this isn't the honeymoon site. This is a stopover on our way up north," he supplied, even though Sara wasn't sure she cared.

"The car's been acting up a bit on the way down the mountain. I thought I'd take it into town tomorrow and have it checked over."

_He'll think I need to sleep. I can stay here alone. I can get away!_

Her shift in posture brought a severe ache from her ankle.

_I can't walk. I'm trapped here. That's why he'll leave me, he knows I can't escape!_

Her appetite went from little to nonexistent.

"I'm tired," she said flatly, wanting only to go to bed and bury her head in her pillow in frustration at her captivity.

"You go on ahead, darlin'. I'll handle this," Nick said sweetly, reaching out for her hand which she deftly avoided.

He sighed, wondering how long until she finally gives up on the dream of being with Grissom.

Nick put away the rest of the food, leaving only the fruit platter on the table.

Dimming the lamps, only the table was lit.

So now, the clock was ticking away into the midnight hour.

Sara lay on her side, curled so that Nick couldn't see her face from his seat near the table lamp.

Seeing that she was exhibiting pain from her injury, Nick had decided to save their latest round of lovemaking until the morning.

Besides, he had to rethink their travel itinerary, needing to remain one step ahead of Brass or Grissom.

Nick sat at the table, area maps and aerial views of back roads spread out over the coffee table.

As he read quietly, she stared at the dining room table and chairs, her eyes falling onto the platter.

Absently, she began to catalog the varieties of fruit as if she were at a crime scene.

_Peach, kiwi, fig, apricot, plum, prune-_

"…_I like to bite them first…"_

As if lightning had struck, her mental curtains unfolded, bombarding Sara with the sights and sounds of the penthouse bathtub, the overflowing tub, the watery bliss as hot water cascaded over retreating cold water, pressing against his strong chest, telling the story of their love without whispering a single word…

Her body shuddered and she instinctively pulled the covers tighter around her.

Nick flicked a quick glance her way, noting she was merely shifting positions as he returned to his reading.

Sara shut her eyes to prevent the tears from erupting.

She worked to maintain an even pattern of breathing, not wanting Nick to realize she was awake.

After calming down a bit, Sara closed her eyes again, desperate to escape back into that memory of what surely was a happy time for her and Gil.

Although she didn't have all the pieces yet, Sara knew her memory of recent events was returning.

She just had to remain calm, and squelch her impatience.

_Somehow we had come back together._

_Somehow he had returned for me._

_He hadn't abandoned me after all._

_Please, Gil._

_Find me…_

Willing her memories to return, Sara lay very still and sent her fervent prayers to the heavens, as she ached for him, thinking, "Oh, Gil…"


	50. Chapter 50

A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed or supported the story up to now…I know the rollercoaster ride has been somewhat depressing, but I again assure you that these two tell their story in their own sweet time…this chapter made me smile…hope you will enjoy it too…no time to reread, so all mistakes are mine…working all weekend, so I will update as soon as I can…you all remain terrific! -Kathy

--

Logan opened the front door to the ranchhouse, closing it quietly in the early light of the new day dawning.

Wearily, he tossed his keys onto the polished surface of the foyer table, pausing only for a moment before the main staircase before turning decisively towards the comfort of his office.

The moment he entered the room, he repeated the motions that he performed what seemed like a hundred times since reluctantly leaving Vegas in the late overnight hours.

"Brass."

"Jim-"

A prolonged sigh, reflecting the frustration of the person on the other end.

"Still nothing, Logan. We are doing all we can from this end."

The silence that claimed the airways threatened the peace of mind of both parties.

"How is Gil doing?" Logan finally broke the tension.

"Last I saw him, he was heading back to the lab to check on some new cases…hell, he's a mess…"

Brass' thoughts again turned to Nick.

"Any word from your son? Any chance he contacted someone there while you were away?"

Logan flinched at the thought that Lillian might just have heard from Nick and would keep silent thinking she was protecting him.

For now, however, Logan just replied, "Not as far as I know…"

Another exasperated sigh.

"Well, then, how about spending some time to find out!"

Logan was normally not prone to explosive reactions.

But his fear for Sara, his worry for Nick, his guilt over not confronting his erratic behavior earlier, his frustration with Lillian's overprotective blinders – these factors simply sent him over the edge.

"And what the hell do you think I have spent the last 24 hours doing, Jim?

You think this is easy for me, not knowing where Nick is, what he might be planning at this very moment, what he might be doing to Sar-"

His voice broke, and the judge hugged the phone to his chest, as his hand flew to his mouth to prevent the strangled cry of anguish that demanded release.

_My Sara. _

_Nick is out of his mind in love with her._

_An overly possessive, demented type of feeling for her._

_He could hurt her._

_He almost did._

_I was there to stop him that day in Sara's room._

_I could hardly believe what I was seeing when I walked into her room that day._

_He was like a person I didn't even know._

_I could have done something then._

_I should have done something then._

_But I didn't, didn't want to believe…_

_And now Sara is paying the price for my blindness._

_  
I love my son._

_But he has to be stopped, before he-_

_I'm sorry, Sara._

He ended the call, not truly hearing what Jim was saying or even if he even said goodbye.

Guilt was making Logan uncharacteristically indecisive, so he simply sat in his padded leather desk chair, slouching slightly with his feet firmly planted on the plush carpeting.

Twisting side to side while deep in thought, Logan replayed the events of the last few days, as he began second guessing each and every action he had taken in regards to Sara's safety.

Should he stay here, hoping to hear from Nick?

Should he go back to Vegas, helping Gil and Brass to locate the missing duo?

Should he wait for Lillian to awaken, and hope she would be honest with him about hearing from Nick?

Should he rush upstairs and awaken Lillian, demanding that she tell him the truth about any messages that had arrived while he was gone.

Logan sighed and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, running his fingers through his hair slowly.

He was exhausted.

He was worried.

_My Sara…_

He found himself on his feet and headed towards the main staircase, in need of a shower and some clean clothes.

And a long talk with Lillian.

--

The ride to Sofia's apartment was punctuated by a snappy tune from the FM jazz station.

Gil's hands were clenched a bit too tightly on the wheel, making the left hand turn onto her street a bit clipped.

The car's stilted motion sent Sofia leaning towards Gil, her head snapping to smile seductively as her hand reached over to rest on his right thigh.

The car swerved forcefully, sending his passenger sailing towards the right as she gruffly banged into the side window.

"Sorry," Gil coughed as he took a long second to regain control of their travel path.

"A cat ran out…" was all he offered lamely, mentally wincing and hoping that he had not stirred her anger.

He needed that cell phone.

"We're here. You can park anywhere on the cul de sac," Sofia spoke softly, smiling at how adorable Gil looked when he was nervous.

_He's so different from the other guys I have been with._

_Some like it hard and rough._

_Some like to be handled, letting me be in charge._

_Yeah, I think that's what Gil is going to be like._

_And I _am_ going to _like_…_

"I can do this. I can do anything for Sara," Gil repeated this mantra in his head as he reached over and shut off the car.

Sofia was leaning over to begin her seduction, but Gil felt he just needed a few more gulps of fresh air before he faced his ordeal.

So as she was puckering up in the front seat, the bright shine of the interior lights suddenly made her gasp and sputter.

_What just happened?_

Gil's behavior was perplexing.

_He wanted to be with me, or he wouldn't be here, right?_

That thought put a smile on her face.

_Well, this is refreshing. I wonder…could he be a virgin?_

That thought brought a silly grin on her face.

_Okay, Gil…time to show you what a _real_ woman can do for you…_

Stalling for time, Gil moved towards Sofia's door and opened it for her.

His right hand was still atop the car door frame, and as she exited the car Sofia slithered up into his semi-open arms.

He reacted to her open palms sliding from his belt towards his broad shoulders, but it wasn't quite the reaction she was hoping for.

Gil felt the blood rushing from his head, causing it to loll dangerously backwards as he fought off the spectre of unconsciousness.

Sofia yanked him firmly forward, shaking him back into semi-consciousness.

Placing both hands on the car roof, Gil bent his head downwards, waiting for the wave of nausea to pass.

_Great! What a time to have a migraine hit!_

Having heard through the grapevine about Gil's previous migraine attacks, Sofia attributed this latest bout as the reason for his somewhat erratic, disinterested behavior.

"Gil, please…let me help you…" Sofia said in a no nonsense tone he had come to recognize as total concentration to a scene.

Unable to offer much resistance, Gil leaned on Sofia weakly as she steered them towards her first floor apartment.

Once inside, she started to turn off the lights when she heard him grunt and decided against it.

Moving towards her bedroom, Sofia paused only long enough to clear off her bed before turning down the covers and helping Gil lie down in the cushioned softness.

He immediately fell into a disturbed sleep, as Sofia removed his shoes, socks, pants and shirt without managing to wake him.

Having finished with that task, she changed into a short teddy and took her place next to his sleeping form.

Cuddled up as close as possible without waking him, Sofia fell into slumber soon after.

During the early morning hours, Gil shifted his position but remained deep asleep.

_He was dreaming of Sara, and his joy of loving her on their honeymoon night._

_He was dreaming of her smile, the look of absolute adoration in her eyes whenever she looked at him._

_He was dreaming of a happily ever after with her, until he turned and she was gone._

_He was searching…searching for her in the darkness…his lips unable to utter a sound, as often happens in the most traumatic nightmares…_

_He was desperate, and then…he reached out and suddenly, his Sara was there!_

In sleep, his smile deepened until it threatened to wake him.

But he stayed asleep, with his arm now draped possessively around a sleeping Sofia…

--

Nick lay asleep next to Sara, who was startled awake by a vivid dream.

She was almost sure it was a dream…

_There were daisies…"he loves me, he loves me not,"…_

_There was a royal coach…fit for a princess._

_She wore flowers in her hair._

_Someone placed a ring on her finger…"Forever"_

_She was almost drowning…but she was – laughing?_

_She was cold…hot water was running…_

_Her heart was overflowing with happiness…_

_Strong arms held her close…she looked up into the bluest eyes…_

"_I love you, Gil…"_

Sara now sat bolt upright, scrubbing both hands open palmed over her face.

The large stone on her engagement ring lightly scraped over her knuckles.

Pulling her hand down to observe the rings on her hand, pieces suddenly began to fit together.

_This is Nick's engagement ring._

_But this…I have never seen this wedding ring before…_

_THIS IS NOT MY WEDDING RING!_

Suddenly with stunning clarity, the puzzle was complete.

Sara turned her head, her angry eyes focused on this man next to her.

Flipping her feet off the side of the bed, Sara stood slightly less painfully and strode to the bathroom.

Locking the door behind her, Sara paced wildly as the ramifications of her predicament were becoming crystal clear.

Stopping before the sink, she ran some warm water to wash off the sleep from her eyes.

As she raised her head to look in the mirror, Sara winced at the pallor of her normally ivory skin, again realizing her general appearance must be the due to the drugs Nick had been administering.

Spinning around, Sara suddenly had one mission.

She was going to get away from Nick if it killed her.

Angrily, she twisted off the offending rings and tossed them to the carpeted surface.

Sara closed her eyes, trying to calm the rage she felt at being kidnapped.

Realizing Nick had really gone over the edge, she suddenly worried that in spiriting her away, he might also have hurt Gil in the process.

She had to find a way to contact him.

Sara's eyes teared at the thought of the pain Gil must be going through.

Reluctantly, Sara picked up the discarded rings, her jaw tightening as she replaced them on her finger.

_I can't upset Nick._

_I have to do this calmly, not to rile him._

_He's definitely unpredictable, but he says he's doing this all because he loves me._

_I have to take that 'love' out for a ride, and see what it can do…_

With that, Sara ran a brush through her hair, and turned to unlock the door quietly while she grabbed a change of clothes.

Fifteen minutes later, Sara hobbled a bit painfully from the bathroom now fully dressed – and ready for confrontation.

Hearing the bathroom door open, Nick bolted upright, making sure Sara was not trying to escape.

"Good morning," she spoke evenly, her tone a mystery to him.

"Mornin', darlin'," Nick said, wondering why she was already dressed.

After a moment, he added, "God, Sara, you are _so_ beautiful in the morning…"

Softly, Sara turned from him and her voice cracked even though she had started to speak with the intention of keeping the banter light, "That's what my husband says."

The silence looming between them festered into an emotional outbreak.

"Stop it, Sara!" Nick bellowed hotly, throwing back the covers and advancing on her.

His movements screeched to a halt as Sara turned and glared at him, all the while twisting the rings on her fingers.

Nick stood speechless as Sara, her heart thumping wildly in her chest, remained outwardly collected, as in a matter-of-fact gesture she slid both rings off her finger and lay them on the small dining room table.

"These are not my rings."

Her confidence buoyed by the fact that he was still motionless, she stood stock still staring into his eyes, hoping to make him understand.

"Nick…where is my _real _wedding ring?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but his thoughts would not gel.

Sara started again, "Nick…where is my real wedding ring…the one that Gil gave to me…"

Mentioning Gil's name at that moment was the wrong card to play.

Within seconds, Nick was at the table, swiping at the rings with one hand before upturning the table with the other.

The two chairs that had been sitting at the table went flying onto their sides.

The horrendous explosive noise was replaced by an ominous silence.

Sara stood her ground, feeling as if she were never more alone against the menace of Nick's temper.

Nevertheless, she was determined to continue her attempt to gain her freedom, and get help for Nick who obviously was suffering some sort of mental/emotional episode.

Her years as a CSI had taught her some techniques to diffuse situations such as these.

She spoke softly, keeping eye contact as she said, "Nick, this isn't helping…"

"Oh?" Nick spat out angrily, grabbing Sara by the wrist to pull her closer to his rage.

"And who is it exactly, Sara, that is going to _need _help?" he ranted, pushing her against the cabin wall as he forced his mouth down on hers with such power her blood was smeared slightly on his upper lip as he pulled away.

Adrenaline gave her hands additional power as she shoved at his chest, pushing him back a few feet as she ran the back of her hand over her stinging mouth.

Looking at the blood on her hand, she ran her tongue over her lips to dry the blood that was caking around her split lower lip.

The sight of her tongue darting out was Nick's undoing, and she found herself again pressed painfully against the pine paneling of the dining room.

"I can't believe you just did that!" Sara raged heatedly, again managing to wriggle herself into position to push Nick off her.

.  
"You are SO not the man I thought you were!"

With that, her facial expression morphed from anger, to surprise, to – fear.

Knocked backwards by the force of his open palm striking angrily across the  
side of her face, he chuckled as he moved menacingly towards the smooth hardwood  
surface where she had landed.

"Oh? And what do you expect to do now, my dear? Lick your wounds and go  
crawling back to Vegas? To your precious Gil Grissom?"

The venom in his voice when he spoke Gil's name sent shudders down her spine.

"Well, too late, darlin'," Nick sneered as he grabbed her hand and painfully pushed the rings back onto her finger.

"You are mine…'til _death_ do us part," he said as Sara let out a terrified shriek as he hoisted her to her feet.

Moving her awkwardly to a chair, Nick reached over to the first of the two pill bottles, containing one final pill which he shook out into his hand.

This time, Sara was out of luck.

Nick again forced her to swallow the pill, despite her more active protests.

Standing over her, Sara tried retrieving the pill by coughing so that she could hide it in her cheek.

But Nick was still there, forcing water down her throat.

A half hour later, she sat there feeling hopeless, hating the drug induced euphoria that was claiming her now tired body.

Without protest from Nick, Sara stood and weaved her way to the bed.

She just lay there with her back to him, staring at a spider spinning a web near the small bedroom window, refusing to look at Nick as he straightened up the dining room.

Having calmed somewhat, Nick tried to put the events of the morning out of his mind, mumbling something to Sara about the car and going into town.

The cabin door slammed behind him, and then…there was quiet.

She continued to lay there, her legs protesting their position.

Turning to her other side, Sara gazed unfocused at the dining room, watching the sunlight stream through the cabin windows, spilling brightness into even the darkest corners of the kitchen area.

Her thoughts turned to Gil.

She wondered what he was doing right now….

--

Gil's eyes opened slowly, vestiges of the violent migraine all but disappeared in the full light of day.

Unmoving, he immediately was struck by the thought that this was not his room.

He closed his eyes trying to remember…

_Jazz was playing as we were dancing…_

_Jazz was playing as I was driving…_

_I was driving to…_

His body shuddered as he recalled his mission….

_Sofia!_

At that moment he felt her stir next to him, but remain contentedly asleep.

_I've got to find that damn cell phone!_

He moved slowly, slipping out of her clutches as he looked down at his sleeping apparel.

_But first, I have to find my pants!_

Tiptoeing as effectively as a man with a hangover, Gil braced his temples with one hand as he scooped up his clothing with the other.

He did not stop until he reached her living room, dressing hastily while scanning the room for her cell phone.

Finishing with his clothes and shoes, Gil heard no noise from her bedroom as he checked the dining room table where Sofia had deposited her small clutch purse, jacket and keys.

Searching in vain through her jacket pockets, he was dismayed to find the phone was not there.

Now, a slight rustle was coming from the bedroom.

Gil had a decision to make.

Would he stay and go to bed with Sofia in the hopes of having more time to find that damn phone?

Or would he stay true to his wedding vows, spoken less than one week ago.

He thought about Sara, and his panic began to return.

But then he thought again about Sara.

_How would I ever explain what I did?_

_How could she ever understand this decision?_

_How could she ever forgive me?_

Another slight rustle.

_Decide, _NOW_, Gil…_

Two minutes later, Gil was sprinting down the sidewalk towards the Denali.

His head was down, his plan defeated.

And he was nowhere nearer to finding his Sara.

Shaking his head to fight back the lone tear that threatened to break through his armor, Gil's thoughts suddenly became focused as he approached the passenger side door.

There, laying half hidden under the county-issued mudflap for the front passenger side tire was a small boxlike item that Gil recognized immediately.

As Sofia had been wearing that bolero style jacket, her movements in trying to guide him up the sidewalk had joustled her pocket enough for her cell phone to escape from the confines of her front pocket!

Bending over to retrieve it, Gil ignored the dull pain that protested his actions.

He could hardly contain his smile as he started the engine, placing it in reverse while pulling on his seatbelt.

He placed his prize on the overhead compartment, snapping the cover closed with satisfaction.

Pulling out into the street, Gil hit speed dial on his car phone, waiting for the answering click before he bellowed out, "Archie…I'm coming in…"

--

The birds nested high atop the shade trees looming over the cabin were the only witnesses to Sara's Herculean efforts.

Although the drug had taken full effect, Sara's body was becoming somewhat acclimated to its effects.

While she was still spaced out quite a bit, she was forcing herself to maintain the memories that had finally been forced to the front of her mind.

And Sara was engaged in the fight of her life to keep them there.

_Daisies…the judge was there…Gil…he made me a…swing…_

She repeated these thoughts over and over, half to convince herself that what she remembered was real.

Once she made it halfway to the table, her balance faltered she fell painfully to the floor.

But her mission was clear –

In the darkest corner of the kitchen, a small boxlike object was catching a stray glint of sunshine whenever the breeze blew.

Crawling on her stomach, Sara's eyes could not keep a sustained focus but her smile cracked open her lip a second time as she realized that it couldn't be true, but …but it was!

After a few more minutes, Sara pulled herself up into a sitting position reaching down to retrieve Nick's cell phone from its resting place.

_He trashed the table…his cell phone and maps were on it…_

Sara knew her time alone might be drawing to a close.

She forced herself to a standing position, realizing her ankle was throbbing but too happy to care.

Hobbling unsteadily towards the bay window that adorned the small living room, Sara held her breath as she flipped open the cell phone, praying for just a few bars….

She almost fainted when it booted up with almost full service!

A tear escaped down her cheek, as she took a deep breath as her shaky hands were poised over the keypad, crying softly, "Oh…Gil…"


	51. Chapter 51

A/N: Late night posting as I am now working 7 days for a few weeks…your reviews are appreciated and reader response always is humbling…okay, so I cried over this one (Kateri Bear, get those tissues)… …you all remain so terrific… …hope it pleases…no time to reread, all mistakes are mine…more as soon as possible… -Kathy

--

The incessant buzzing stirred her from her restful slumber.

Having worked for the department all these years, answering a page while half asleep was a way of life.

_But you can't answer a phone you can't find._

Sofia pushed herself upwards using her well toned arms, groping her nightstand for her cell phone. With eyes still closed, she sighed as her grasp continued to come up empty.

_But the ringing was coming from the other part of the room…_

The muffled sound caused her to curse aloud, her temper and volume rising in tandem.

Silence enveloped the lavish surroundings again, as Sofia slumped against the open bedroom door running her hands roughly through her blonde tresses.

Glancing at the empty bed before her, Sofia all but yanked the hi-cut teddy from her body as she snarled, "Shit!" before making her way to the bathroom to grab her silk robe.

That's when she heard the cell phone beckoning her again.

_That's not even my ringtone!_ she thought, more annoyed than confused as she returned to the bedroom with her robe belt flapping at her sides.

Huffing around towards the sound, Sofia knelt down beneath the chair where she recalled dropping Gil's clothing haphazardly last evening, smiling as she remembered his pants sliding off the leather surface to the floor.

She remembered thinking it was no big deal, as he wasn't going to be needing them anytime soon if she had anything to say about it.

Apparently, he _had_ given her little to say about it.

But now, Sofia smirked brazenly as she read the caller ID.

_Perfect timing, lover_, her thoughts focusing on the one person who could ease the tension she was feeling due to Gil's abandonment of her early morning plans.

She was so focused on her situation that Sofia did not stop to register the anomaly of _Nick _calling _Grissom's_ phone.

As the device continued to resonate in her palm, Sofia bounced onto the bed and snuggled into the cushiony softness of her down pillows before flicking the phone open...

--

Logan stepped out of their private bath, half dressed and unable to contain his desire to awaken Lillian and confront her about possibly having been in contact with Nick.

He didn't have to wait long.

Their eyes locked as Lillian brushed her bangs in place absentmindedly as she eased herself into a sitting position against the headboard.

"How long have you been home?" she asked, her tone indicating her mood.

"A few hours. Lillian-" Logan began, his heart stopping as the bedside phone rang.

With the reflexes of a cat, Lillian pounced on the headset, weakly saying hello and pausing to listen to the voice at the other end.

Logan was halfway around to her before Lillian turned slightly away from him to utter softly, "No, Emma Anne. We'll just make something when we come down, thanks."

Lillian replaced the handset into the cradle and glared at Logan.

"So, I can't even use a phone in private, now?" she bellowed, swinging her legs out of bed.

"Not if it's Nick!" Logan began, his voice sounding confrontational.

"Nicholas Stokes is my son! I will speak to him whenever, and wherever I choose!" she replied hotly, her arm swiping angrily across her belt in a tying motion.

Logan grabbed his wife by the elbow and swung her around, his grip holding her in place.

"Lil, he's sick! He needs our help! He has Sara! He's going to do god knows what, and we have to stop him, Lil…before someone gets hurt!"

Lillian huffily freed herself from his grip and wheeled around to vent her anger.

"The only person I saw getting hurt around here was _Nicky_! That little _tramp_ took off leaving him on his wedding day without so much as a goodbye note…poor thing. And does he have the support and understanding of his _father_? OH, noooo…." she spat, and Logan began to have difficulty containing his anger.

"Lillian-" he warned, but she failed to control her outburst.

"No, because Daddy Dearest was out who knows where doing who knows what –"

Silence filled the room.

Lillian glared into Logan's angry eyes with equal animosity.

"You helped her get away!" she accused, and was becoming outraged when he did not move to deny it.

"You would _actually_ do that to your own son, _your own flesh and blood_…" she backed away from him incredulously.

"You _knew_…you knew she was going to leave him…you knew she was going to break his heart-" Lillian droned on, the heat of Logan's anger causing his pulse to rise and his face to redden.

"What kind of man _are _you?" she bellowed, rushing towards him as her hands raised to beat his chest angrily.

Logan's large hands were no match for Lillian's delicate bones, and he quickly dislodged hers from his chest as he restrained her by carefully clutching her wrists out at her sides.

"She was in danger, Lillian! You don't know the whole story! You don't know the whole truth! Yes, I helped Sara get away…for her own safety…"

By now, Lillian had pulled away from Logan and had bounced on the bed facing away from him.

Logan closed his eyes and willed his pounding heart to calm down.

In all their years of marriage, Logan had never stood up to her angry outbursts as he had today.

Once he left the airport that day, he had been committed to making good on the marriage that had cost him the only real love of his life.

Right now, he would have given anything for Anna to appear and take them away from this mess.

Logan sighed.

But even dreams wouldn't help Sara today.

Inhaling deeply, Logan stood near Lillian, but was unable to make a conciliatory gesture.

The phone rang again and Lillian just turned to glare at Logan before reaching over to answer it, daring him to contradict her.

"Yes?" she said sharply, and when he did not note a change in facial expression, Logan silently turned and left the room.

Once the door clicked shut behind Logan, Lillian relaxed her posture and darted her eyes to the door as she spoke in quieter tones, "Nicky…I'm glad you called back dear…I wasn't alone when you called just a minute ago…"

Entering the kitchen, Logan saw Jeremy and Emma Anne were seated having a cup of tea.

The judge noticed with surprise that both servants looked surprised at his entry.

Emma Anne stood quickly, moving towards him to inquire about Sara and Gil.

Logan sighed, and just ran a hand through his hair as he tried to smile reassuringly, saying, "Oh…it's such a mess…"

Jeremy had retrieved a fresh mug of coffee and Emma Anne ushered the weary Logan to the table as she then resumed her seat across from him.

After a moment of awkward silence, for his staff could see how the events of the last week were taking their toll on him, Emma Anne decided to lighten the mood.

"I'm sorry, sir, I didn't know you'd be coming down or we'd have helped Cook make a full breakfast for you by the time you came down."

"Well, as Lillian told you, we'd just grab something when we came down," Logan spoke as he stared into his cup before raising it to his lips.

"Oh? Is the missus already up, then?" Emma Anne asked, looking a tad nervously at Jeremy. He glanced at her, understanding her distress.

_After all, the missus had never just come and sat in the kitchen the way the judge was fond of doing._

_If the missus was up, they had better be working!_

"Yes, Emma…you remember, you spoke to her when you cal-"

Logan stopped in midsentence, calling every ounce of reserve into play as he gently lowered his mug.

Moving to stand, Logan glared down on a somewhat frightened maid as he leaned forward and asked, "Emma Anne, did you or did you not just phone upstairs in the last ten minutes to inquire about breakfast?"

Understanding that something important was riding on her answer, Emma Anne gulped and forced out a throaty, "No, sir."

"And you have not spoken to Mrs. Stokes today?"

A slight pause.

"No…sir…"

For the first time since they'd known him, both servants instinctively backed away from their employer as he raised his napkin and threw it to the tabletop angrily.

Raising his eyes upwards, as if by some miracle he could see what was happening upstairs in their bedroom, Logan turned towards the servants' staircase and bounded up the stairs two at a time.

Emma Anne sat with a lone tear running down her cheek, her upset visible.

Jeremy came around from behind to enclose her in his embrace, running his hands up and down her arms protectively.

--

Before a sound could be spoken from the other end, Sofia sighed loudly into the mouthpiece and spoke in a sultry voice, "Mission accomplished, lover."

She chuckled aloud at the silence on the other end.

"What? You said I'd never do it. You said Gil Grissom would never give me the time of day."

Sofia laughed in triumph.

"Well, Nicky darling, not only did he give me the time of day, but he slept in my bed – with me – _all night_!"

The silence on the other end continued, which she translated into Nick's stunned attitude over having misjudged Sofia's capabilities.

"Listen, lover boy, the guy has always had a thing for me…and last night he finally got his head out of the microscope…he took me dancing and drinking..he was all over me by the time we got back to my place…"

Silence continued, with only a noise – a muffled sort of sound – allowing Sofia to know the caller was still listening.

"Oh, you want _details_…" she smirked, settling herself back comfortably as she prepared to push a few of Nick's buttons.

"Okay, well first he refused to let me turn on any lights, we just kind of _felt_ our way to the bedroom…" she said seductively.

"Then, all he could think of was getting into my bed…he lay there watching me undress him…"

"_What was I wearing_?" she mimicked the unspoken question.

"Nicky, remember that darling little la Perla teddy I bought to celebrate your engagement?" she purred, expecting that Nick was ready to climax at the memory of the night they first came together.

With Sara working overtime after they had returned from their Christmas vacation, Sofia had gone with Nick to a bar on the strip, and then back to her place where she 'modeled' for him.

The poorly disguised strangled gasp over the poor connection almost sent Sofia over the edge herself, her memories of their first time together causing her to cry out, "Nick…talk to me, if you can….please…" she added as an afterthought, knowing Nick's penchant for remaining in control of their encounters.

Some soft noises were emitting from the earpiece, but Sofia was too involved in her own satisfaction to register them as suspicious.

When nothing else was forthcoming, Sofia relaxed as her body recovered from the height of her climax and said softly, "That's okay, Nicky…_real_ men don't need many words…"

At that she laughed tiredly and rolled over, the connection closing seconds before her eyelids followed…

--

Back at the lab, Gil was standing in the glow of the monitors in the dimly lit A/V lab.

The doors had been locked and the shades drawn, making the room appear empty to passersby.

Archie was plugging Sofia's cell phone into the machines, trying to keep up with accessing the programs that formed the increasingly long laundry list of priority tasks Gil was barking out.

Gil hoped that Archie could plot the locations of the last few calls from Nick and give them an area to search for Sara.

However, cross referencing the programs would take some time, and Gil was worried that Sofia would be missing her cell phone and come to the lab to find it.

Gil wanted to be long gone before that happened.

As he stood there, tired and worried, feeling useless as Archie punched codes and connected cables, Gil began to feel a twinge of hope rising in his chest.

_Perhaps…today…_

_Perhaps I'll find her today…_

_I need to hold her…my Sara…_

_As soon as Archie knows anything, I'll hop in my car and go after her…_

_If Nick has hurt her, I'll kill him…_

_I'm coming, honey…please be brave…_

_I promise I'll find you…I won't stop until I do…_

'_I do'…_

_It was the happiest night of my life…_

_I thought we'd be happy forever…_

_Oh, Sara…_

_--_

Sara slid to the floor, her hand over her mouth, Nick's phone still clutched tightly to her chest.

Though the call had ended a while ago, in her drugged state, Sara felt the pain of Sofia's words still cutting through her heart, the images being driven like a dagger through her soul.

_I thought this phone would free me…_

_Now, I feel as if I have no where to go…_

_Gil was with Sofia last night..._

_I thought he'd be looking for me…_

She rubbed the back of her hand to swipe at her tears, and scratched herself lightly with Nick's engagement ring.

Sara pulled her hand forward to stare at the offending objects.

_I hate these stupid rings…_

_I hate Nick for doing this to me…_

_I hate Grissom…_

Her shoulders shook as she relaxed her back muscles and lay onto the cool of the hardwood floor.

_I don't hate you, Gil…_

_I'm sorry…_

_  
These pills…they make me think crazy…_

_I love you, Gil…_

_Are you still looking for me?_

_Have you forgotten all about me?_

_Do you want Sofia, Gil?_

_Please…please don't want Sofia!_

_Please want me, Gil…_

_Please don't want Sofia!_

_Please want me, Gil…_

_I love you…_

_I do…_

'_I do'…it was the happiest night of me life…_

Lying still, Sara closed her eyes for a moment.

Inside the dark of her closed eyelids, snapshot memories were being displayed of Gil grabbing her into an embrace, photographer smiling at the happy bride and groom, a champagne toast…

_Forever…_

Sara's eyes jerked painfully awake, that last thought pulling her into a clearer state.

Shaking off the fatigue, Sara suddenly realized that she was going to give up her darling husband without a fight.

_He may have slept with Sofia, but he promised to love _me_!_

_And Sofia needs to know just what a fight she has in store for her if she thinks she is going to get Gil Grissom away from me!_

And with that, still slightly off from the effects of the drugs, and angry Sara dialed Sofia's cell phone…

--

Back at the lab, Archie was leaning forward, having failed in his attempt to triangulate a position for Grissom.

And now, he had to tell his boss the bad news.

"Grissom…uh…" Archie began, but his words faltered as he looked into Gil's eyes.

No other words were needed.

Gil understood the gargantuan efforts that Archie had been making, yet even Grissom could see they were getting nowhere.

_I was so sure this was it…_

_I'm sorry, Sara…_

Unable to speak lest his emotions overtake him, Gil turned away from Archie and spoke softly.

"Uh, thank you , Archie…I know you tried…"

Archie tried desperately to find a way to reassure Gil, but in all honesty…

"Hey, listen, Grissom…maybe…maybe Nick will call this phone again."

Gil was shaking his head, but Archie's wheels were spinning at break speed.

"Listen, Gil…if he does call again…all we need to do is keep the phone hooked up to these cables.

He just has to call…not even leave a message…I only need two minutes…then we can get an immediate and exact location."

The words sounded hopeful, but Gil was no longer hope filled.

_Forever._

_I said I'd protect you._

_I'm so sorry, Sara…_

_Please…forgive me…_

Guilt festered inside him until he thought he'd have a breakdown.

Afraid to be around anyone right at that moment, Gil relinquished his hold on Sofia's phone and moved towards the door…

--

Bounding up the stairs, Logan was out of breath as he stormed into the bedroom with eyes aflame.

One look at her husband, and for the first time since she'd known Logan Stokes, Lillian was actually afraid of him.

He looked at the phone in her hand and raced towards it, hands outstretched to grab it from her.

But Lillian's reflexes were quicker.

Before Logan reached her position, Lillian had stopped speaking and had slammed down the receiver.

With hands still outstretched, Logan swept her up off the bed and shook her violently as he screamed, "WHERE IS HE?"

--

Gil had no sooner crossed the threshold than the impossible happened.

He wheeled around to see the shock, the surprise, and then the joy spread across Archie's face as his eyes darted to Gil's as he shouted, "It's him!"

In two steps, Gil had crossed the room and now was in possession of the buzzing noisemaker while Archie was already gearing up the search program on the monitor using the switching station's keyboard.

Without pausing to take a breath, Gil practically screamed, "Where the hell are you, you bastard…and where is my _wife__!_?!"

For a second, there was a pause as a very confused called removed the phone from her ear to stare down at the number called.

_The monitor read, "SOFIA", but…_

_Gil was with Sofia?_

Sara shook her head, trying to regain some semblance of logical thought.

_But Sofia answered Gil's phone…_

_And Gil answered Sofia's phone…_

_Did they get their phones mixed up?_

"Please…help me…I'm so confused…" Sara said in a whisper, not fully realizing she was speaking out loud.

Pausing from his initial rants, Gil's angry retorts ceased for a moment, as he was now paying attention to Archie's SMARTBOARD for any information on the caller's whereabouts.

That's when he heard it.

The sound he worried he'd never hear again.

_Sara…_

"Please…help me…I'm so confused…" she continued to chant softly, rocking herself slowly as she held the phone in her lap.

"_Sara?" _Gil's tone softened dramatically, causing Archie's eyes to flip anxiously to Grissom who was now almost caressing the cell phone as if it were her palm on his cheek.

Hearing her name called in the special way only Gil used, Sara stopped her rocking motion.

Was she hearing voices, or did Gil really just call her name?

Hope filled her heart, as she frantically spun her head in every direction as she searched for him, praying he had come to take her home.

"_G-Gil?" _she started to say, but the word dissolved into hopeless tears.

"SARA!" Gil shouted into the receiver.

Worry, concern, helplessness all fought with his composure as he continued to speak the only word his mouth would form.

"SARA!" he tried again, anxiety causing his brow to bead with sweat.

"Honey, please! Answer me! SARA!" he was yelling now, pacing wildly as Archie tried to calm his fears and concentrate on helping his boss and friend.

Sara picked up the phone, almost afraid that it was all a dream.

"Gil?" she asked tentatively, her hands trembling as she held onto the phone as if it were her lifeline.

"Sara! God, honey….where are you? Are you alright?" his words blended together in relief, and loneliness, and fear for her precarious situation.

"Gil…" was all Sara could eek out, almost passing out in relief.

"Sara…honey…I love you…you're going to be okay…it's okay…I'm coming for you…Archie is getting a fix on the phone…just be brave a bit longer…"

Tears were falling and Gil didn't care.

The tired face on the other side of the phone was also tear streaked.

Neither cared.

He loved her.

He was coming for her.

She could be brave a bit longer.

_He loves me…_

Though they waited forever to finally speak, neither could find the words to say what needed to be said.

Instead, Gil smiled weakly for the first time in days, saying lovingly, "Sara…"

And Sara closed her eyes as she lay back down on the cool hardwood and almost whispered,

"Oh, Gil…"


	52. Chapter 52

A/N: THANK YOU for your patience in awaiting this update…it is a bit shorter than the others…this story is a labor of love and your reader support and reviews make it worthwhile…still posting on the fly…mistakes are all mine…hope this pleases…another work weekend, but more as soon as I can…you are all so terrific… -Kathy

--

Archie stood before the coffee pot, mug forgotten in his grip, as his worry controlled his thoughts.

He had given Gil the exact coordinates of Nick's cell phone less than an hour ago, but his concern over Grissom's safety had not abated.

Gil's anxiety had peaked when Sara failed to continue their conversation.

Panic over his inability to regain their phone connection had caused him to grab the address from Archie's hand and move swiftly through the opened door of the AV lab.

The lab tech had sprinted after him down the deserted corridor, imploring him to wait until they contacted Brass…

But before he could finish the sentence, the side door to the parking lot was slamming shut in his face.

Archie hadn't even had that long to survey the computer printout, only scanning it long enough to know Sara had called from Lake Tahoe.

He sighed and placed the mug onto the counter.

_The boss had asked for my help, and had said to keep it between us._

_If the few details he shared concerning Nick's state of mind were just the tip of the iceberg, Grissom could be walking into a deadly confrontation – with Sara an innocent victim._

_Why didn't he call Brass?_

_Why didn't he want to take some officers with him?_

_If I understand the situation, Grissom could be walking into a hostage situation – leaving Sara vulnerable at Nick's unpredictable hands._

_Nick – man, something must be really wrong with him. He was also so stable, so dependable._

_And I think he really loves Sara._

_What the hell happened down at that ranch?_

Giving up on the coffee, he headed back to the AV lab.

Archie thought about Nick and his family, remembering the stories Nick had shared with him over the years.

Pausing at the closed doorway, the computer genius suddenly was struck with a thought.

_Perhaps the family has a place at Lake Tahoe!_

Abandoning his plan to return to work, Archie was practically sprinting down the hallway leading to the LVPD wing, and Jim Brass' office.

_Brass knows how to contact Nick's dad…he has contacts at Lake Tahoe who might check out the scene…_

Sighing heavily as he entered the annex, Archie plodded towards Brass' office, thinking

_Sorry, Grissom…but I have to follow my gut feeling on this one…_

Entering through the main doors, Archie greeted the desk officer by name and gushed, "Is Captain Brass around?"

On hearing the negative and that he was clocked out early after receiving a personal call, Archie grabbed the officer by the collar and practically screamed, "He _left?_ You gotta get him on the phone…right now!"

--

Meanwhile, the drone of the Piper Cub's propellers was the only sound inside the small aircraft.

Belted securely in separate seats, Lillian refused to look in Logan's direction.

After initially shaking her shoulders demanding to know Nick's present location, Logan had released her quickly and pocketed his hands gruffly – for fear of doing real physical harm to his wife.

She demurred only slightly, but his eyes were so full of anger and - something, unreadable – that she merely shook her head in refusal.

Reacting to her reticence, Logan moved towards her so quickly she raised her hands defensively – but he would not be deterred on this occasion.

_Maybe she had really crossed the line this time._

Standing inches away from his glowering face, Lillian barely forced out, "What are you planning to do to my son?"

Moving his eyes directly in front of hers, Logan spoke pointedly, his words crisp and clear:

"I am going to him and bringing Sara home. He can stay or return to Vegas as he wishes.

My only concern is for that poor girl, Lillian. _She_ is my _only_ concern."

The protective side of Lillian came barking in rebuttal:

"She had always been your only concern, Logan!

That little bitch is the reason my son is running away from his _home_, his _friends_, and his _work._

She has completely bewitched him …_AND_ you…

I don't understand it. I keep pleading with him to see just how bad she is for him.

I don't see what all the fuss is, really.

The little harlot - just another _orphan_ looking for someone to take her in and make her the center of their universe.

Well, she isn't worth all this attention, Logan….SHE'S NOT WORTH IT!"

By now, Logan was seeing red.

He crossed the distance between them, demanding her attention as he was now crushing Lillian's upper arms as she squirmed in her attempt to put space between herself and his temper.

"Shut. Your. Mouth, Lillian," Logan warned and for once, Lillian chose prudence and remained silence.

"Our son…has something…something wrong…mentally wrong…Lilllian-" he choked but shook his head and continued.

"He has kidnapped this girl on the day after her wedding. _Kidnapped!_ She's in danger! Am I getting through to you?" he was practically yelling now.

Lillian swallowed hard.

If truth be told, she had noticed that Nick wasn't really himself when he called.

He had prattled on disjointedly about his plans to take his bride up north.

Lillian had confirmed in conversation that he was going to the place he inherited from his grandparents.

_He seemed to be repeating himself a bit…forgetting where his conversation was heading…_

_I know he has a lot on his mind…but he kept talking about how happy he was to be with Sara._

_He said they were going to be married._

_But…Logan said she was already married._

_Oh, Nicky dear…what is happening with you?_

Tuning back into her current situation, Lillian was surprised to see Logan on the phone and calling Charlie about using his plane.

Hanging up the receiver, Logan turned to her and spoke tersely: "Pack an overnight bag. Be ready to leave in ten minutes."

And with that, he strode out of the room and headed down the main staircase towards his office.

Once inside, he closed and locked the door, moving in large strides towards the wall safe hidden behind an oil painting of the Grand Canyon at sunset.

Effortlessly, the tumblers released at his expert spinning, the door opening in his hand.

Reaching in, Logan removed his Derringer pistol and some ammunition, placing both in his jacket pocket before donning the garment and heading back upstairs to escort his wife to the airport and the plane which would take them back to Vegas.

He needed to see Brass…

--

Gil pounded his fist on the steering wheel of his Denali, angry that he had to get off the highway to fill up the tank as the _Low Gas_ light was taunting him from the dashboard.

The large tank took several minutes to fill, all the while his mind was racing.

_Why couldn't I reach her again? What happened to her? _

_Did Nick come in and find her?_

_Is she hurt? _

_I have the phone's general coordinates – but which cabin exactly?_

_Precious minutes will be wasted having to track down the cabin registry at the park office._

_And what if Nick took her and they have already left the area?_

_Sara…help me find you honey…_

_I can't lose you now…_

_Sara…_

Within minutes, he was back on the road again, only to find some relief in a sign that signaled he was one hour out from his destination…

--

The afternoon was waning, nighttime was approaching, and Nick was still at the local mechanic's shop.

He was rapt in daydreams, thinking about getting Sara out of here and beginning their new life.

_She will love the cabin, the solitude, just us…_

_And she will love me…and only me._

Nick wrapped himself in the daydream, his thoughts returning to the fact that he had all but abandoned Sara, leaving her alone all day, the medication levels lowering in her body each successive hour…

That fact had him bolting to his feet, Nick moved towards the service counter to enquire about renting or borrowing a car to drive back to the cabin.

_Sara would need her medicine soon…she's so much calmer when she takes it regularly…_

He was becoming obsessed with his need to touch her, hold her, claim her as his own physically…and she was much more receptive to him when she took her medicine…

That was Nick's mood as he started the loaner car and headed back up the steep, chip-and-tarred incline towards the cabin…

--

Sara had expended all her energy in reeling from her success in speaking to Gil.

Her fragile emotional state, coupled with the effects of the drugs in her system, had caused her to relax tiredly onto the cool hardwood floor as Gil called for her.

Though her consciousness was waning, in her subconscious mind Sara stored the sound of his voice, repeating her name over and over like a beautiful medley full of love and passion.

Now, hours since she had disconnected from their call, she was sprawled out on her side as the dim hues of early evening danced through the semi-opened window shades.

Sara's body jerked instinctively at the sound of a car door slamming and footsteps pounding up the short steps to the cabin.

Her legs kicked impulsively and her hands shot out in a scattered motion.

Her hands released their hold on Nick's closed cell phone as her arm jerked upwards, sending the device spinning across the floor near its original position.

The door spun open, a man's voice intoning, "SARA!" in pained reaction to finding her almost unconscious on the floor.

Still oblivious to what was happening around her, Sara felt herself falling through a vortex devoid of direction, but illuminated with mental snapshots of Brass smiling at her as they talked at a crime scene, Logan on horseback, Gil carrying her across the threshold, Nick poised over her as he made love to her.

Her body was being hoisted upwards towards the tousled sheets of the cabin's bed, her head in close proximity to the masculine arms that carried her effortlessly.

Although her head was very near his ear, the loud beating of his heart made it impossible to hear the faintest sound released from her lips as she cried out in her dreams, "Oh, Gil…"

--


	53. Chapter 53

A/N: In rereading the reviews for the last chapter again tonight, I realized that everyone declared they were prepared to hang on for the ride…therefore, I am altering the author's notes at the end of the last chapter, and not wasting writing time creating the pivotal chapter, let's get on with the action!…thanks to all who expressed their opinions on the topic…this chapter could be entitled "Angst Central", so forewarned is forearmed…with the help of these two characters, I have plotted out the remaining chapters to this tale…sigh…without a definitive number, I can say they still have quite a lot of story left…but these two will tell it in their own time…and the promise of GSR remains intact…to all those who support this story by reading and especially by leaving reviews, you are all terrific…I hope this chapter sets well, more to come on the weekend for sure...fasten your seatbelt… - Kathy

--

His strong hands placed her tenuously on top of the sheets as his mind raced as to what had occurred while he was away from her.

Using both hands in a soothing motion, he pushed the hair away from her face – pausing to kiss her tenderly on the forehead.

_What a fool he had been, leaving her alone for such a long time!_

As he caressed her cheek and moved to place his mouth over hers, Sara's eyes remained closed as she spoke in the voice of someone awakening from a particularly surreal dream:

"Oh, Gil…"

He stiffened and stopped his head's downward movement.

Angrily pushing away from her, Nick noticed Sara's flinch as his hands pressed her hair a bit too heavily into the covered mattress.

Now on his feet, he stomped wildly around the cabin making no attempt to contain his rage.

Just as he thought he was as upset as he could be, Nick shook his head emotionally – and his eyes fell onto the glimmer of the setting sun falling on the metallic object partially hidden in the corner of the kitchen.

Recognition dawned – not only of what the object was, but of the risk it represented.

_Had Sara called for help?_

_Or had she been attempting to retrieve the cell phone and make a call?_

Swiftly, Nick swooped down and picked up his phone which he remembered leaving on before he upset the table and left the cabin.

_Had_ she called for help?

He glared in her direction as his fingers mechanically flicked the top to activate the lighted display.

Quickly, he pressed a key to disclose the last call made.

_Sofia._

Had Nick been of sound mind, his investigative skills would have insisted on checking on the last number of calls made.

But in his present state, he was satisfied that Sara would not have tried to contact Sofia.

His paranoia returned sharply, as he panicked: _but had Grissom tried to call contact him and made contact with Sara instead?_

Nick flipped open his phone and pressed his recent incoming calls.

His relief was palpable as he read Sofia's number again and again…

Usually, when Sofia tried to contact Nick, her overtures were always welcomed and he became focused solely on contacting her for some enjoyable gratification.

Today was different, however, as Nick now slammed his phone shut and tossed it haphazardly onto the table.

He stood immobile as he now was focused solely on Sara.

Only the sounds of his heavy breathing could be heard within the stillness of the cabin.

The calm before the storm.

Sara began to stir, attempting with great effort to open her eyes and keep them focused on something tangible around her.

When her eyes locked on Nick, her heart slammed into her throat.

His expression was one of abject anger, following her gaze as she momentarily glanced at the cell phone now perched at the edge of the wooden surface behind him.

_Does he know I called Gil?_

_Oh, my word…GIL!_

Sara was trying to sit up now, worried that Gil was on his way and walking into a confrontation with Nick.

In his disturbed state, Nick was unpredictable.

_Gil…please, stay away…I couldn't bear it if-_

As if he were reading her mind, Nick stalked purposefully towards the counter swinging around without pause – the pill bottle in his hand.

Sara was already shaking her head, determined this time to put up a better defense against taking that mind-altering drug.

Nick crossed the cabin in two large strides, pushing Sara down onto the mattress with such force that she bounced twice before finding his weight pinning her arms down underneath him.

His hand was cradling her violently shaking head, Sara being determined not to face him as he prepared to force feed the capsule into her tightly pursed lips.

"Stop it, Sara!" Nick yelled aloud, his voice creating rivulets of fear flowing through her.

Yet she maintained her insistence that she had been victim to his obsessive actions long enough.

"I said STOP, Sara!" Nick continued loudly, pushing up on his restraining hold to ensure that she was going comply with his demands.

The situation was grave, and the edges of Sara's vision began to blur slightly as the rush of adrenaline, coupled with the slight restriction of her oxygen supply by the weight of Nick's athletic frame pressing for these few minutes on her chest.

Sara refused to give in to his attempts to ply the capsule through her clenched lips and teeth, causing the gel-like covering to crack, small spheres of multicolored time-released medication spilling over her.

"Damn it!" Nick choked, his heightened emotional state causing him to grasp for words.

Releasing his hold slightly, he reached for another capsule.

Sara took this as her chance to plead with him.

"Nick…no…please…"

Slamming the bottle onto the bedstand, the fire in his eyes caused Sara to realize she was in real danger this time.

"Nick! NO!" she screamed, before resuming her failing attempts to keep her face turned from him.

"YES, Sara…YES!…NOW!" Nick bellowed as he began to successfully overcome her resistance.

Sara felt his fingers pulling her lips to create an opening.

Sara saw the capsule begin its way past her defenses.

Sara tasted the telltale signs that the capsule was disintegrating against her teeth.

Sara heard the sound she thought for a second she might only have imagined:

"_Let go of her, Nick!"_

Sara was not the only one taken aback by the voice near the doorway.

As Nick shook his head, trying to clear the confusion, he unwillingly released some of his hold on Sara.

She spit out the offending medication, continuing to spit out the tiny microbeads that threatened to reclaim her into their control.

Before she could speak however, the confrontation had already begun.

"Get out of here, Grissom! Sara is mine, you never wanted her, she loves ME…she wants ME!" Nick spat out as he jumped off the bed and prepared to defend Sara from Gil's intent to remove her from his cabin.

Gil had never believed it possible – his anger was past the point of his control.

_Seeing Nick looming over his Sara – _

_Sara screaming in protest –_

_Nick screaming for domination –_

The situation was intolerable; his response was preprogrammed, as every fiber of his being demanded an immediate, irrevocable resolution to Sara's plight…

"I said get away from her, Nick…or I swear I'll kill you!" Gil spoke in a voice so low and menacing that even Nick paused to take notice.

"So…if it's a fight you want, old man, it's a fight you'll get!" Nick said, as he suddenly lunged forward taking Gil in surprise and ramming both of them into the opened cabin door.

"Gil!" screamed Sara, attempting to walk painfully but surely towards them.

"Stay back, Sara!" Gil managed to get out, as Nick's powerful upper arms pressed him into the door painfully.

Not wanting to see her husband hurt because of her, Sara glanced around and picked up the book Nick had been reading the night before, flinging it at his head to distract him and hopefully allow Gil a chance to escape from his dangerous predicament.

Nick did disengage himself from Gil, delivering a right hook into his boss' solar plexus causing him to momentarily bend over in pain.

Taking the moment before delivering his next assault, Nick turned towards Sara as she approached and, with a jerk of his powerful arm, slapped her across the face sending her reeling backwards yelping in pain.

She landed the wrong way on her healing ankle, causing her to almost black out from the unexpected jolt of bone on healing bone.

As she closed her eyes, images of her childhood resurfaced causing tears to flow silently as she recalled this almost exact scenario being the cause of her original injury.

She had been a child then.

Though now an adult, the hopelessness of her current situation triggered the long-buried fatalistic response in Sara.

_Nick Stokes would make her a victim in the same way her dysfunctional family had._

Sara closed her eyes in fearful resignation of the fact that this confrontation could end in another death caused by an argument concerning _her_…

--

At the airport, Logan turned instinctively to help Lillian disembark from Charlie's aircraft.

Once she was on the ground, however, Logan turned away from his wife and moved towards the unmarked LVPD car that drove towards them.

Jim Brass stepped out before the driver had fully stopped the vehicle.

"Anything?" Logan asked, hoping there had been some news while he was in flight.

"Maybe…but I was hoping your message meant _you_ had a new lead," Jim rushed, despondent that the critical time frame was closing and they were no closer to getting a break in the case.

"THAT, Jim, depends on how well you shake the information from my stubborn, uncooperative life partner," Logan chided, his refusal to use the term "wife" sending chills up Lillian's spine.

Throwing a heated gaze her way, Brass pulled himself up into a more official stance.

"Oh…Lillian _will _cooperate…I'm not used to taking _NO_ for an answer…" he added menacingly without blinking, causing the object of his scrutiny to gulp heavily.

Without the protection she normally enjoyed due to Logan's status in law enforcement, Lillian suddenly began to wonder if perhaps it wouldn't hurt to help them find Nick to ensure he was alright…

--

Seeing Sara knocked to the ground was the last straw for Gil.

Call it adrenaline.

Call it the need to protect your own.

Call it autonomic response, Gil choosing _fight_ instead of _flight_.

But at that moment, the only call that Gil Grissom was heeding was the call to end Nick's reign of terror in their lives once and for all.

With that, Gil body slammed Nick into the wall, before taking the stunned man by the hair and placing a well-clenched fist into the side of his face.

Reeling backwards, Nick bounced off the edge of the table, causing the cell phone to fall to the ground next to the knapsack Nick had taken with him to town.

Before he had a chance to recoup, Gil picked him up again and socked him harshly in his ribs, hoping to incapacitate him enough to be restrained.

Instead, the opposite effect seemed to be occurring.

Now, like a bull in a china shop, Nick had rolled away from Gil's grip, and was hopping around the small kitchen throwing breakable objects at Grissom, yelling obscenities and taunting him to give up the fight.

"You'll NEVER have her!"

"She's already mine, Nick!"

"She doesn't love you! She loves ME!"

"She married ME, Nick. I love her…let her go home!"

"Oh, she'll leave here alright right…in one of two ways…"

At this point, Nick was totally out of control and had managed to work his way to the side of the table nearest to where Sara lay in pain.

Retrieving one of the pans Nick had tossed towards Gil, Sara clutched it beneath her as Nick kept focused on Gil.

"Either she goes with me –" Nick said, as Sara prayed he would come closer so she could knock him off his feet.

"Or, she goes with you-"

Just as Sara thought she'd finally get her chance, the pan flew from her hands as she was suddenly yanked to her feet to serve as a human shield before Nick's heated frame.

"-_dead_…just like you are going to be, Gil."

Grissom stopped his movements, his chest heaving to intake the oxygen his lungs burned to inhale.

"Nick-" he warned, but stopped when Nick's grip on Sara became more ominous.

"_I mean it, Grissom_!" Nick spat, sounding more and more like a man with nothing to lose.

Putting his hands up warily, Gil backed up slowly until his back was against the wall.

"Nick…think about this…you love Sara," it pained him to say, but he had to stall for time to figure out what his next move would be.

_Why hadn't I waited for Brass? _

_Will Archie ignore my stubbornness and find Jim to tell him what went down at the lab this afternoon?_

_Why hadn't I taken another cell phone from the lab?_

_Sara deserved better than this from me…_

Gil's protests did not seem to diminish Nick's resolve.

He began moving Sara counterclockwise from their position, encircling the table with Gil careful to remain opposite them.

The standoff continued, each man uttering phrases either calmed or enflamed, the banter heating up and the tension palpable.

Sara struggled, causing Nick at one point to restrain her with such force that she feared her upper arm would suffer another fracture.

Flashbacks of the night her father died began their assault on her concentration.

Her leg was throbbing and her upper arms hurt now as they did that night.

…_another death…caused by an argument…over me…_

Seeing Gil's reaction to her pain, her worry increased as she could see his agitation grow.

Sara consciously relaxed so as not to exacerbate the danger which would force Gil's hand and ultimately endanger his own life.

_I love you so, Gil Grissom._

_I always have. I always will._

_But, you're in danger right now because of _me_._

_You should never have become involved with me._

_I'm so sorry, Gil._

_Please._

_Don't do anything rash._

_I'm not worth it._

_Please._

_Save yourself._

_I'd do _anything_ to save _your_ life._

_You are _so important_ to so many people._

_Life without _you_ would change the lives of everyone you work with._

Your _work will help so many people._

_It's not the same for me._

_No one will miss me when I am gone._

_No matter how I've tried to ignore what's apparent to everyone, I finally, here, today, understand…_

_I'm not worth it, Gil._

_I'm not worth _any_ of the effort._

_We said our love was _forever_._

_But I'm not worth you sacrificing your _future_._

_Please._

_Don't endanger your own life because of me._

_I love you._

_But I can't be the cause of your pain._

_I'm so sorry._

_You were right all those years._

_You should never have gotten involved with me._

_I have only brought you pain._

_The wonderful days at the ranch were like a fairy tale._

_But the tale is over now._

_This is reality._

_And there seems to be no future for us now._

_No _forever_._

_Please, Gil._

_Don't do anything to cause Nick to harm you._

_I'll stay with him, he'll let you go, you can go back to your life._

_I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you because of me._

_I love you…love you enough to say goodbye if that's what it takes to save you..._

_I'm so sorry, Gil._

_I'm sorry I wasn't worth the risk…_

Being unable to tear his eyes away from Sara, Gil was puzzled by her sudden change in posture.

_She's giving up._

_She thinks she can intervene, get me away from here safely._

_Does she really think I would leave her here with Nick in this state?_

_When we get back, we'll get Nick the help he needs._

_Right now, I need to get Sara away from him before she gets hurt._

_Hold on to my love, Sara._

_I'm not leaving without you._

As if she could read his thoughts, Sara shook her head once but refused to look in his direction, an act of the finality of her decision.

Gil knotted his forehead, willing her to look at him directly, but she refused.

In the long moment of these thoughts, Nick had moved them until he was near his knapsack.

Sara gasped as in a split second she felt herself being yanked backwards as Nick swiped the knapsack from the floor into his hands, hiding the bag behind Sara's back.

"Nick," Gil pleaded, sensing a sudden shift in the balance of power in the situation.

"Let Sara go. Do what you want with me. Just let Sara go."

"Oh, I _will_ do exactly what I want with you, Grissom," Nick said, as in one smooth motion his hand emerged from the knapsack holding his department-issued handgun.

Before there could be a protest, Nick aimed and fired in Gil's direction.

Sara's last minute awareness of his intentions caused her to move in such a way as to deflect his aim from creating a fatal shot.

But the bullet entering Gil's shoulder caused him to gasp in pain so severe that he momentarily blacked out.

Releasing Sara from his grip, Nick strode towards Grissom's prone body, fully intending to finish the job.

As he raised his firearm, his motions were stopped in midair by Sara's surprisingly calm voice saying the words Nick had waited for so long to hear:

"I'll marry you, Nick."

There it was.

A simple declaration.

He pivoted on his heel, eyes scrutinizing her face for hints of deception.

But he found none.

Instead, he found the brown eyes that haunted his dreams were now totally devoid of deception.

If he had looked closer, he would have seen that they were devoid of any emotion at all.

In a brazen act, Sara hobbled forward painfully, expertly hiding her pain as if she were once again a bruised child enduring the horrors of her first foster-care placement.

She placed both hands on his chest, her lips mere inches from his.

"Now. Right now. Today, Nick.

I will marry you today.

Become your wife.

_Today_, Nick."

Then she confused him as she stepped back.

"But if you kill Grissom, you will have to kill me, too.

I will _never_ marry you if you hurt him, Nick."

She let her message sink in.

"Choose _now_, Nick."

Sara never let her gaze falter.

She would allow this charade to play out, anything to buy Gil some time to get away.

Nick stood for another moment staring between her and Grissom.

She could see his anger returning, his mistrust building.

But Sara fully intended on going through with this marriage.

After all, she was already legally married, wasn't she?

No court would honor this ceremony as valid.

With the extra time this action would buy them, Gil could get away and call Brass and Logan.

They would come to help Nick.

He would get the help he needed.

Afterwards, she would just slip away and stop causing pain to the man she loved more than life itself.

Stop causing pain to all the men she had loved in her life…

Her thoughts led to Logan and Brass, and she felt her resolve soften momentarily.

But she shook herself out of her approaching melancholy, determined to stay with her plan and do what she could to save Gil.

Returning her gaze to Nick's faltering belief in her sincerity, Sara stunned Nick and surprised herself as she grabbed his gun.

As Nick was already moving to retrieve his gun from her shaking grip, Sara realized as she held the gun there was no way she would be able to succeed in a fight for the firearm, and she may injure Gil in the process.

Facing him, panic crossed his rugged features for a moment before Sara pointed the revolver to her own chest and said,

"Choose, Nick. Or I end it now."

"_Sara, no!"_ Nick said shakily, grabbing her into a tight embrace.

"Sara…my Sara…I love you…please, don't ever do that again," Nick was crying now, hugging her to himself.

Finally composing himself enough to release her from his arms, Nick looked into Sara's calm countenance and said,

"Alright, Sara. We'll go. Right now. Go put on something pretty. There's a Justice of the Peace about a mile from here. We'll get married right away, stay here tonight, then get the car and begin our honeymoon tomorrow!" Nick said happily, as if none of the previous hell had happened.

Sara just nodded her head and moved to the bathroom to freshen up for the drive.

Mechanically, she had separated herself from the pain of her decision.

Within five minutes she emerged dressed in a plain sundress, her arms already showing the bruising that would later fully reappear after Nick's strong restraints.

She was startled to see that Nick had placed a makeshift bandage over Gil's shoulder and had moved him to the bed.

Gil appeared out of it, and Sara briefly wondered what Nick had given him to sedate him.

She groaned when she saw the ropes that bound his hands to either side of the headboard.

Seeing Sara's facial expression, Nick moved over and sweetly intoned,

"I'll let him go, Sara, after we are married. He'll be on his way, and we will be on the way to start our new life together –" he paused to embrace her, finishing his sentence as he breathed into her hair, "the way it was always supposed to be."

Nick paused to kiss Sara fully as he raised her hand to remove the matching wedding band he had placed there before he left for town earlier that day.

Pocketing it, he smiled and told her how happy she was making him.

Sara said nothing as Nick swept her off her feet, her distress upon walking apparent even to his disturbed consciousness.

Filled with the familiar sense of dread Sara had lived with her entire childhood, she employed the technique that had kept her focused throughout the difficult days of her youth –

She just breathed in.

She just breathed out.

She just resigned herself to being powerless to change her current state.

She just waved goodbye to her dreams…

And as Sara reverted back into defeatist acceptance that good things only happen to other people who are more deserving of them, her gaze locked on Gil's unconscious form laying on the bed as she silently said goodbye to her dream of a happily ever after as her mind cried unhappily, "Oh, Gil…"


	54. Chapter 54

A/N: The action continues with some heartbreak, AND some hope…I so appreciate reader support and reviewers comments…you people are just terrific…more soon as possible…the heavy workweeks are just about finished…hope this pleases…-Kathy

--

She flinched at the sound of the door closing loudly behind her.

Jim Brass had finely honed his skills over his career, and knew exactly how to intimidate the person he would interrogate.

Sitting down impatiently opposite Lillian, he did not return her sheepish grin.

Leaning forward with eyes blazing, Brass intoned on an exhale, "Okay, Lil…let's go over your story again…"

At that, Lillian bristled. "My _story_? You think I would lie about talking to my son?" she huffed, irritated at the implication.

The detective leaned back, unfazed by her outburst.

"Why not? You lied to Logan about talking to him…" he smirked, laying all his cards on the table.

She refused to meet his gaze, focusing on her wringing hands.

"He…you don't understand…" was all she could get out before needing to suppress the sob that threatened to expose her fear of current situation.

"No, I _don't_ understand!" Brass yelled heatedly, causing Lillian to jump to her feet as he slammed angry fists on the table.

She stood there, looking down at him as he sent daggers through his slanted eyes.

"He's sick, Lillian…he has kidnapped Sara and is doing god-knows-what with her right at this moment!

And you want me to _understand_? Understand _what,_ exactly?

That we have been searching for Sara for close to a week now, and you have been chatting with him during that time _and did nothing to help us find her?"_

By now, Brass was on his feet moving towards her purposefully as he spat out his final words.

Just as he reached her side, thoughts of wringing her high-society neck surfacing in his emotional state, the door flung open and Logan walked through calmly.

He stood just inside the closed door, unwilling to stop the detective from getting the information they sorely needed, but instinctively needing to secure his wife's safety against Jim's waning control.

Ignoring the unethical interruption, Brass found himself face-to-face with a terrified Lillian.

In the quietest voice he had ever employed, all three felt as if the walls of the room leaned towards them as he succinctly commanded her to do the one thing that would halt the impending release of his anger:

"Tell me – _now_!"

--

His eyelids felt heavy, his body screaming in pain.

As Gil forced his eyes open, he used his great inner strength to focus them feebly on his surroundings, trying to remember what had just happened.

He saw the empty cabin in ominous silence, Nick's backpack slumped against the kitchen wall, partially obscuring his cell phone from sight.

Gil moved to sit up to continue his survey of his surroundings, fearing that the silence meant that Nick had carried out his implied threat against Sara.

Immediately he was pulled backwards onto the pillow, pain exuding down his arm as the restraining ropes yanked his injured shoulder.

He shook his head to clear it. _Nick must have knocked me out with something. I can still taste the tinny feel of medication in my mouth…_

In fact, not having much else at the cabin, Nick had found the bottled remnants of the date-rape drug he had used on Sara at the tea room. As Sara busied herself in the bathroom, Nick had poured the drug straight into Gil's mouth without washing it down with water.

The effects were immediate, sleep claiming Gil almost instantly. But for his body type, the two or three droplets left in that sample bottle were not enough to warrant a lengthy stretch of unconsciousness nor a prolonged period of amnesia.

Within moments, Gil had regained his awareness and recalled all but the shooting incident.

The throbbing in his shoulder made quick work of that omission.

Angrily, Gil surveyed the restraints that held him prisoner on the tousled sheets.

He realized that the major loss of blood had been cared for, and he wondered if Nick had made Sara watch as he performed the effective first aid, or worse – made Sara tend to his wounds herself.

That picture stuck in Gil's thoughts as he struggled in vain to free himself with his good arm.

Leaning back a bit breathless, tears began to form in frustration.

Where are they?

_Where is Sara?_

_What has that maniac done with her?_

Images of Sara being held prisoner on this bed flooded his mind, causing bile to rise in the back of this throat.

What if he did restrain her?

_What if he harmed her?_

_What if…what if she called for me?_

_I wasn't here to protect her…_

_She must have been so afraid…_

_I saw the way he acted…_

_He did!_

_He hurt her!_

_He was pushing her down into this bed, and she was screaming…_

_No! I have to find her!_

_He'll hurt her again…_

"NO!" he shouted aloud, his anger bringing his adrenaline level through the roof.

With one large movement, Gil rolled to his side forcefully, screaming as the pain shot through his good shoulder. But he did not give up his attempt at freedom.

And he was rewarded with success.

Nick's knots held, but the aged wooden headboard could not withstand the prolonged pressure against the wood-glued frame.

With a sickening crack, the entire side of the headboard gave way and landed across Grissom's lap as he fell back and gasped for air.

Pausing only briefly, Gil sat up a bit straighter and slid the spearlike wood out of the knotted rope, effectively freeing his hand.

Buoyed by his success, he tried in vain to undo the knot on his injured arm.

Not to be swayed from his task, he determinedly twisted his bottom until he was laying near the side of the bed with his feet facing the headboard.

Thankful he was still wearing his heavy soled work shoes, Gil scanned the old wood for the best area to pummel, and began his two-footed assault.

He cried out in pain as his feet hit the wood the first time, the jarring on his shoulder making stars appear before him.

Not to be deterred, he needed to batter the wooden edge only twice more before it cracked and another time before it, too, splintered off and onto his lap.

He lay a moment to catch his breath, then repeated his motions to finally free himself from his bonds.

The knots were cumbersome, but not detrimental to activity, and Gil stood shakily.

After gaining his balance, he moved cautiously towards the table, holding on to it as he bent over to retrieve the forgotten cell phone.

From his activity, his shoulder began bleeding again, heavier this time, and Gil found himself with an odd wave of lightheadedness overcoming him.

Sliding along the wall, he prayed for the second time during this ordeal hoping this request would also be answered.

He smiled weakly as he flipped open the phone to find full bars for service in this area.

He punched in the number, angrily shutting it off to retype the area code first.

When the voice mailbox message began, Gil cursed and slammed the END button before redialing a different number, remembering to add the area code this time.

The phone clicked open the first time, the manner of "Hello?" disclosing the caller's wariness.

"Archie-" was all Gil could speak before he felt a wave of nausea and dizziness overcome him…

Sara had been silent since they left the cabin.

He knew she was marrying him to protect Grissom, but he didn't care.

She loved him, he knew that…and when they were on their honeymoon, she'd remember and love him again…

Still, she seemed – different, lost in thought.

He wanted this to be a happy day for them both.

He wanted her to remember how happy they used to be.

Impulsively, he drew her limp hand to his and said cryptically, "You'll remember, Sara."

Without turning her gaze to him, she smirked sarcastically as she shook her head and quietly said, "Don't trust _me_ to remember _anything_…"

She turned her head so he could not see the tear fall down her cheek…

Nick pushed open the door to office of the county's only Justice of the Peace.

The tidy waiting area was neatly decorated, inviting in its simple charm.

Nick proudly ushered Sara to a seat, she had insisted on walking – albeit barefoot – on her own.

He was almost giddy as he refused to release her hand.

His infectious smile was returned by the older woman who came to attend to them.

"We'd like to be married, today, as soon as possible," beamed an ecstatic groom, causing the woman to chuckle lightly as she answered, "Well, you've come to the right place."

Her smile faltered only slightly as she turned towards Sara.

Taking in her appearance, all the hairs on the back of her neck stood up.

Mary Grace Sonner had been a justice's wife for over forty years.

She had seen all manner of young people coming at all hours asking to be married.

But this young woman, so pretty, yet so _injured_…

Glancing back at Nick for a second, she wondered if this marriage was _really_ desired by both parties.

As Sara had refused to look directly at the woman, Mary Grace decided some investigating was necessary before this marriage would take place.

In her practiced style she had perfected to stall an underage couple while their parents could be located and sent to retrieve them, she smiled sweetly and said to Nick, "Let's get started, shall we?"

She motioned for Nick to join her at her spacious desk, pulling out the high-backed chair for him to settle into.

She pulled out the license paperwork, adding the lengthy instruction booklet for this state form.

"Read the instructions first. This is very important. Failure to properly fill out the application for a marriage license makes the union null and void."

Nick nodded and before pouring himself into the documents, he flashed a handsome grin over to Sara.

"And you, my dear, can come with me into the back room. We'll get you all fixed up for your big day. Did you bring any flowers with you?" she asked in a motherly tone as she moved towards Sara, whose eyes locked on Nick's as she noticeably retreated from those outstretched hands.

At this, Nick frowned.

_Don't do anything to stop this wedding Sara. Or else._

Mary Grace missed the interaction as Sara was still gazing at Nick – who was making pretend gun motions with his hand as little children do.

She shivered when his thumb went downwards, mimicking a shot being fired.

Sara hobbled behind Mary Grace without another glance at Nick.

Alone with the older woman, she set herself on a stool in front of a mirror.

Mary Grace sat beside her, wondering how to begin this delicate conversation.

Deciding that anyone who had sustained obvious injuries such as Sara exhibited did not need handling with kid gloves, the woman moved to look directly into her eyes as she spoke.

"Are you in trouble, dear?"

Sara inwardly cringed.

In trouble?

_Yes, I'm in trouble!_

_I ran away from him, but he found me._

_I left my husband, my true love, to meet him!_

_He said he wouldn't hurt me._

_I was so stupid!_

And now…I've lost it all…

_Gil…he'll never want me when he knows…_

_I have to marry Nick, or he'll go after Gil…_

_Nick always gets what he wants…_

No one_ is going to die because of me…not _again_…not _ever_!_

After a moment, Sara mustered all the courage she possessed to sit up straighter and smile at the older woman.

"I'm fine," she said in that rehearsed manner that had haunted Gil's nightmares throughout the years.

Knowing she needed to say something about her physical condition, Sara continued, "After the car accident, we decided that every day counts. So…here we are."

Hoping she had been convincing, Sara turned towards the mirror pretending to fix her hair.

When she looked into the mirror in the direction of the older woman, she saw tears in her eyes as she clutched her hands together towards her heart.

"That…that was so romantic!" Mary Grace said, as she placed both hands lightly on Sara's shoulders. "Let's get you married, okay?"

Sara sighed lightly, happy the charade had worked.

As the rejoined Nick, Mary Grace pulled the paperwork from him immediately.

Nick swung a heated glance at Sara, who simply smiled at him.

Play along, Nick. Don't lose your cool now!

"Sara-" Nick started, his anger fueling his actions as he moved swiftly towards them.

Just as he reached her, Mary Grace was turning a curious glance towards them.

Sara had no choice.

Before Nick could speak again, she reached up and kissed him – hard.

Stunned by her actions, Nick finally pulled away as Sara glanced towards Mary Grace who was wiping her eyes before sitting down to fill out the application.

As Sara did not have identification on her, Nick had presented the woman with a copy of their dated Texas marriage license.

Mary Grace agreed to accept the document that Sara had signed after the rehearsal that afternoon at the ranch.

Nick signed the new agreement and handed the pen over to Sara.

As she scratched the pen across the paper, her mind went back to the judge's words to Gil that night at the Bellagio: "Just sign here, in three places, and we'll have you two legally married…"

Sara's eyes widened as she stood looking unseeing at the document before her.

"…legally married…"

As Nick finished with the business end of the meeting, a flush of adrenaline coursed through her veins.

_We were interrupted._

_  
Daniel had arrived with Cynthia._

_Had I ever _actually_ signed our marriage license?_

_Am I really, _legally_, married to Gil?_

_Is it possible…will _this_ marriage actually be the legal one?_

_--_

Brass had the helicopter's headset pressed tightly to his ear, as he bellowed for Archie to repeat his transmission.

Nodding forcefully, he motioned to the pilot to end the urgent call from the FLVP flight tower.

Having gotten the information about the grandparent's land that Nick had inherited, Logan, Brass, and Lillian had boarded a police helicopter and were heading towards that destination.

About a half hour out, Archie had frantically phoned the desk sergeant who informed him of Brass' request for a helicopter with a lead on a kidnapping case.

Racing to the flight tower, he finally convinced the guards to allow him access to the director of air controllers.

Explaining his urgency, the director placed the call and shook his head as he listened to Archie relate the most recent communication from Grissom.

Archie had been yelling Gil's name over and over, refusing to end the call until he got a response.

Fortunately, the tactic worked and Gil found the strength to explain his predicament and that Nick had Sara.

Archie had hung up, called the sheriff's office for the Lake Mead area and had to rely on the proficiency of those personnel to find Nick's cabin and bring emergency services to Gil.

Agreeing to stay at the tower until they landed, Archie leaned back in his seat as he ended the call.

It was out of his hands now. He only hoped Grissom could hang on until help arrived.

Meanwhile, Brass was discussing the coordinates with the pilot, who nodded and gave his opinion that they were about ten minutes out from their destination.

Patching him through to command, Brass also contacted the Lake Mead sheriff's office, who agreed to send a car to the airstrip.

Turning to a puzzling Logan, who was unsuccessfully trying to put all the snippets of information together, Brass merely smiled and with raised eyebrows shouted, "We're landing at Lake Mead."

Lillian and Logan locked glances. He send an unreadable expression her way.

_Had she misunderstood what Nick had told her?_

_Or…had she lied to him…_again_?_

"Logan," his wife began, unable to stand the suspense, "What have you found out?"

Cryptically, he simply responded, "Remains to be seen, Lil…remains to be seen…"

--

She felt Nick's arm claim her waist as she moved, shell-shocked, into the judge's chambers.

Sara accepted a single rose from Mary Grace, who was trying to make this a memorable day for this happy couple.

Sara was already quite sure she would _never_ be able to forget what was happening here.

So, as the judge made quick work of the perfunctory words and actions, Nick already vowing to remain faithful to her in sickness and health, Sara wincing at the words "until death to us part", finding some irony in them considering their situation.

Now, it was Sara's turn and she felt the slight increase of pressure from Nick's hand as the judge spoke the words she would repeat.

She closed her eyes, willing the tears from falling, as she thought about Gil laying in that bed, bleeding and alone.

"I do," she said flatly, refusing to lift her head despite Nick's tugging on her hands.

"I now pronounce you man and wife, sealed forever-"

"_NO!"_ Sara broke her hands away from Nick's and glared defiantly at the judge.

"NOT _"forever"…_remove those words…remove them NOW!"

The judge blinked and looked helplessly towards his own wife.

Sara was becoming unglued, taking a painful step backwards.

_Think of Gil…he needs you…you can do this…you can save him…if you love him, you can do this…_her mind raced as her eyes closed, willing her heart to calm down.

Taking a deep breath, she looked imploringly at the older judge and almost whispered, "Please…just…just remove the phrase…"

Again he glanced at his wife, surprised to find a tear running down _her _cheek as her hands urged him to continue.

_Women…_the judge thought, shaking his head in confusion, picking up his book and finishing the ceremony.

"…you may now kiss the bride."

With that, Nick attacked Sara's lips so forcefully she contemplated slapping him for his insensitivity.

However, she _was_ his wife now.

_His wife._

_Oh, please…just let me die… right here, right now…_

Oh, Gil…


	55. Chapter 55

A/N: This chapter is very intense. As my fingers flew across the keyboard, I kept thinking, "OMG!"…these two have led us to a critical point in the story…please don't kill the messenger…the final chapter has been penned (out of sequence) because I just had to remind _myself_ that GSR will prevail…but somehow, when I read this, even I wondered if we'll ever get there…all mistakes are mine…fasten your belts, readers…this ending had me gasping for air…you have all been so terrific with your reader support and reviews…this one hurts, but it IS darkest before the dawn…more as soon as possible…-Kathy

--

As the patrol car sped up the one lane gravel road towards the cabin, Brass almost failed to contain his anxiety as he barked, "Can't this thing go any faster?"

The younger officer tightened his grip, his hands expressing what his training warned him not to, as he replied, "Just a few more minutes, sir."

Jim was about to argue when from the backseat Logan's low moan focused the car's occupants on the scene unveiling through the leafy canopy.

An squad car with its lights flashing was parked near the fork in the road, effectively blocking off travel to the right turn off where an ambulance's lights made a sickening contrast to the leafy beauty surrounding the clearing ahead as dusk loomed close by.

Brass was out of the car before it fully stopped, easily circumventing the blockade on foot as he raced the last few yards to the cabin.

Logan waited for Lillian and then guided her by the elbow to follow the detective at breakneck speed.

As Brass scaled the last few steps of the incline, he could hear the sheriff barking orders to the EMT who stood blocking Jim's view of the stretcher.

"I don't _care_ if this fella refuses to be transported!

_I_ am telling _you_ that _I take_ full responsibility and _I am ordering you_ to get this man to the hospital before he bleeds to death!"

The young EMT was visibly shaken, being newly assigned to this area.

As he moved to push the stretcher through the bay doors, a weak protest resounded through the quiet surroundings.

"I. Said. I. AM. NOT. LEAVING!"

By now, Jim had closed the distance between him and the characters of this drama, which would have been amusing if the stakes weren't so high.

"You're going. Get him loaded up," the detective said flatly, as he leveled Gil with a enigmatic glare.

"Sara-" Gil began to protest, but found himself without the strength to argue.

The sheriff began to interject in an official tone, but Brass was pulling out his I.D. as he raised a hand for the lawman to stop talking.

He continued to stare at Gil as he moved to the front of the stretcher to guide it through the doors.

Once loaded, he hopped into the rig to look down on his wounded friend.

"Gil…you need help…_NOW_…no more waiting…"

As if to head off any protests, he rushed to say, "I'll take care of her…I won't stop until we find her…"

Waning strength caused weary eyes to convey their hopelessness, causing Brass to grab Gil's hand to say, "I _promise_."

Whether the words were truly enough, or the loss of so much blood was taking its toll, Grissom just closed his eyes and nodded weakly.

Within moments, the ambulance was on its way down the hillside towards the local emergency room which had already been alerted to its impending arrival….

--

Meanwhile, as Brass had been making plans from the air, after leaving the Justice of the Peace Nick decided a celebratory dinner was in order.

Despite her protests, Nick decided a small Italian restaurant overlooking Lake Mead seemed the perfect place for their first meal as man and wife.

Sara hobbled after him, refusing his attempts to help her.

She knew he was annoyed at her independence, but right now she didn't care.

Her whole world seemed like it was crashing down around her, the feeling stronger and felt deeper than at any time in her troubled life.

As she sat at the linen-covered table on the side deck of the small bistro, she felt like a condemned prisoner having her last meal.

But her thoughts returned to Gil.

_He's all alone in that cabin._

_I hope he's still asleep, he won't feel any pain from his injuries._

_Please, let him be alright._

_I hope Nick will keep his word and let him go._

_Gil will be better off without me._

_He'll never understand…how could I have been so stupid?_

_How could I have forgotten-_

But her thoughts were interrupted by the tug of Nick's hand and the sultry placement of his lips on hers.

Instinctively, she pulled back, but seeing the fire in his eyes beginning to erupt, she batted her eyes slowly and said, "You…surprised me."

Never taking her eyes off his, Nick seemed to accept the answer.

To make her prove her point, however, he grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her hard, his hands painfully revisiting the sites of his earlier bruising grip.

Sara blinked back the tears as she joined in the kiss – anything to save Gil from Nick's wrath.

He ordered for them, but she did nothing more than push her food around her plate as Nick continued to chat on about the place up north, and how they would make use of the solitude to cement their new marriage.

When he brought up the subject of the "patter of little feet", Sara found herself on her own feet and on the way to the ladies' room.

Nick smilingly dismissed the waiter's concern, citing "newlywed jitters" as Sara's problem.

Inside the stall, Sara tried to calm her nerves and the impending nausea that threatened to bring her to her knees.

Tears flowed.

_He'll never understand._

_How could I have been so stupid?_

_How _could_ I have forgotten something so important?_

Just then, Sara was brought out of her musings as the main door to the restroom opened to the sounds of happy travelers needing to freshen up.

Sara flushed the toilet to cover the sound of her gulping back her sobs, as she worked to compose herself enough to leave the protection of the stall and head back to her husband.

_My husband._

_Nick is my legal husband now, no matter how Gil and I feel about it._

_We had finally found our way to each other, but now…_

_I never signed those papers._

_The marriage was never legal._

_Our honeymoon night…none of it was real…_

_He's better off without me._

_He'll find that out in time._

_As long as he will be safe…_

_It's all I can hope for now…_

Her concern about Gil's condition caused Sara to take a deep breath and head back to the table to urge Nick to return to the cabin.

--

Nick's car made its turn up the mountainside towards their cabin just as two police cars were moving out of the way of an ambulance as it blared its sirens to alert him to abandon his planned route.

To give the ambulance room to pass, Nick shot up the left branch of the roadside which would take him to the partially cleared lot behind the cabin.

Knowing immediately that Grissom had somehow been rescued from the cabin, Nick's anger had reached new heights.

He pulled into the clearing and shut off the engine.

Through the wooded area which provided them with some semblance of cover, both Nick and Sara could see figures moving.

Nick cursed when he saw Brass circling behind the cabin, apparently unaware of his proximity to the objects of his search.

As the detective moved towards the front of the cabin, Nick could hear an engine start.

Smiling in triumph, he noticed a squad car that had arrived a moment before was now turning around and descending the steep driveway towards the lake.

Nick heaved a sigh of relief, then looked over at Sara who sat unmoving.

Grabbing her hand, he almost whispered, "He's gone now, Sar. We can finally be alone."

A lone tear escaped her eyes as she refused to look at him, only nodding slightly.

_He's gone far from here._

_He'll be safe now._

_It was all worth it._

_It will all be worth it…_

So involved in repeating this last mantra to herself, Sara was almost unaware as Nick moved towards her door, opened it, and scooped his bride up into his strong arms.

He moved them effortlessly through the clearing, thinking that in a few more feet they would begin their married life by crossing the threshold and giving themselves willingly to each other for the first time.

His shock was so complete, he almost dropped Sara onto the marshy surface below his feet.

Having come within ten feet of the backdoor, just then Lillian had come around the corner of the cabin.

Their eyes locked, and she could see that he was having trouble comprehending what had just happened.

Nick was shaking his head, making a shushing motion with his lips, pleading for his mother to remain calm and quiet.

Lillian looked at Sara, noticing the rings on her fingers.

Nick followed her gaze, then looked up smiling into his mother's eyes.

Sara at that moment could only whisper, "Please…Lillian…"

But the parent/child bond prevented her from understanding Sara's plight, delighted as she was that Nick looked happier than she had seen him in a long time.

Blowing him a kiss, Lillian turned quickly and moved back around the front of the house.

Neither Brass nor the sheriff noticed anything different as they came out of the cabin, heading towards the sheriff's car to continue their search in the town surrounding Lake Mead.

But Logan had known his wife too many years to not notice the subtle change in her demeanor.

Before Lillian could raise her eyes to speak, Logan was already turned and moving slowly away from the group, ostensibly to continue to look for any clues as to where Nick might be.

"I'm going to check in this wooded area to the left here," he said loudly enough for _any_ ears that might be listening.

And with that, he moved away from the scrutiny of the search group.

Now inside, Nick left Sara on the broken bed and move swiftly to softly click the locks on the front door.

Turning to her, Sara felt his eyes on her and immediately felt the bile rise in her throat.

"Sara…darlin'…" Nick began moving towards her, convinced the intruders would be gone in a moment, he being so eager to start their happy future together.

She turned from him, nausea almost overpowering her.

Nick became incensed. He was so sure the marriage ceremony would have changed her attitude, now that Grissom was gone.

Grabbing her forcefully with angry motions, he forced her to look directly at him as he spat, "I. Am. Your. Husband.! You _are_ going to love ME!"

As he closed the distance, Sara protested loudly before her sounds were stifled by his insistent lips, "No!"

It was short, but her declaration was enough to alert Brass of her location.

He whipped around and saw Lillian's hand covering her mouth.

He spun her around to look into her eyes – and Jim Brass figured out the truth.

With an angry push, he freed himself from her company as he drew his gun and shouted, "Nick!

Nick Stokes!"

At the sound of his ranting, Nick stood straight up and moved to the window.

Cursing, he crossed the distance to the bed, yanking Sara forcefully by the arms and moving her as a shield before him.

Seeing Sara's frightened face faintly through the small cabin window, it was Brass' turn to swear.

Raking his hand through his well-groomed hair, he spun around to the sheriff who was about to call for reinforcements.

"Okay," Brass said in low tones, "but they stay off this mountain until we call for them."

Nodding in agreement, the sheriff finished the instructions for the two squad cars as Brass turned his glare to Lillian.

"She gets hurt…_you're _going up… for aiding and abetting…" he growled before turning his attention to the window.

Lillian immediately sought some protection from Logan, but noticed he was no longer in sight through the wooded area adjacent to the cabin.

"Nick! Let Sara go. Let me help her. Let me help you."

"Get the hell out of here, Brass. Leave us alone!" Nick wailed, his fury obvious to Sara as he increased his possessive hold on her.

"No can do, son. Nick, it's over…just let her go….let me help you, Nick," Brass pleaded, for it had become obvious to almost everyone that he was in need of a great deal of help.

"Never! She's my wife! She stays with me!" Nick countered, anxious for everyone to leave him alone with the object of his obsession.

"Nick! She's married to Grissom! Sara and Gil are married!" Brass tried again, earning a blazing retort from Nick.

"No! She married me! Her name is Sara Stokes now!"

"No, Nick-"

"Wait! Ask her yourself!"

He spun Sara around and suddenly she became frightened for him. Nick's eyes were almost unseeing in their panic, and she realized he was losing grip on reality – making him even more dangerous and unpredictable.

_Not one more person is going to die…Not because of me…Never _again_…_

"Hey, Jim?" Sara called as calmly as she could manage, never taking her eyes off Nick's.

"I'm…I'm okay….it's true…Nick and I were married just today…"

She saw the almost pleading look in his eyes, and she smiled sadly.

"Gil and I…were never legally married…"

The look of relief on Nick's face was palpable, his eyes focused solely on Sara as a small smile crossed his lips.

"Sara! Honey, are you alright?"

Her eyes trying desperately to calm Nick, she called, "I am fine. Please, Jim, just leave us alone. Please go back and take care of everything back in Vegas."

Brass knew she was referring to Gil, but her meaning was lost on Nick who now was cupping her face with one hand.

Sara's heart broke for this wounded soul, whatever caused this emotional upheaval was clearly taking its toll on this man she had always known to be a gentle soul.

"Brass…please…just leave….now…" Sara pleaded, hoping she would be able to care for Nick in such a way as to get him the help he obviously needed.

"Not without you, darlin'," Brass said, spinning around in hopes of commandeering Logan to help convince them to come out.

Puzzled as to the judge's absence, Brass continued to concentrate on Nick and Sara.

Meanwhile, Sara suddenly saw a change in Nick's behavior.

His eyes glassed over slightly as he pulled forward and kissed her forehead softly.

Leaving her for a split second, he scooped up the knapsack from its forgotten position on the floor, digging inside it in a singular motion.

When he pulled out the handgun he had used to inflict Gil's injuries, Sara knew her luck had run out.

Pulling her towards him, she yelped softly in pain as he spun her to face away from him, allowing him to whisper behind her ear.

"Sara, I love you.

They are never going to let us leave here.

But we can be together, darlin'.

You and me. For all time.

We can leave this mess of a world and move on to heaven. Together."

Sara's heart pounded in her chest, and unable to contain the bile that rose in her throat, she lurched forward in his tight grip and spewed vomit at her feet.

"Easy now, darlin'. It won't be hard at all.

One bullet for you. Then I promise one for me.

It will be painless, I promise.

Then…then we'll be together…forever…"

His use of that word caused Sara to shiver uncontrollably.

_Gil will be better off without me._

_But…I hope…I just hope he will remember how much I really loved him…_

She heard Nick curse softly as he opened the gun chamber to find it only had one bullet at the ready.

Releasing Sara, she fell to the floor, unable to fight any more.

"Sara?!" Jim called, worried about the quiet interlude, ready to force his way into the cabin to rescue her.

"Jim-" Sara started, as Nick whipped his head towards her.

Content that she was not trying to run away, Nick popped the last bullet into the now-full chamber, closing it.

It was time.

As Nick moved towards her, a tear escaped down her cheek as she spoke loudly, "Jim?"

"Sara!"

Nick placed his well-toned arm under hers and yanked her strongly to her feet.

"Jim - please…remember I love you so…please…please tell him I love him…forever…"

Not liking the implications of her message, Brass stormed the front door, only to be barred by the heavy security lock that was chosen for its strength against forced break ins.

Banging wildly, both he and the sheriff were now kicking at the door as their adrenaline kicked in.

"Sara!"

Nick was now holding Sara tightly to his chest, his calm another indication as to his complete emotional breakdown with reality.

"Sara, darlin'. I love you so much. Thank you for marrying me."

He raised the gun level with her head, kissing her soft brown locks a final time before whispering, "I love you, Sara…forever…."

Sara heard the click of the barrel before the gunshot shattered the quiet of the cabin, and everything went black…

--

Sofia shuffled down the hallways of the lab, noting that there was a skeleton crew at work.

Grissom's cell phone clutched in her hand, she was scouting out the object of her lust, hopeful he would be receptive to finishing what they had started the previous evening.

Heading towards Grissom's office, she glanced around before trying the door handle. Finding it unlocked she moved into the room quickly, closing the shades and locking the door behind her before switching on the lights.

As Gil had instructed over his shoulder on his way out of the lab, Sofia's phone lay directly in the center of his desk.

Worried that she might come looking for it, Gil did not want Sofia tipped off to his plan for rescuing Sara, concerned that she would in turn let Nick in on the plan.

Sitting in Gil's desk, Sofia swiveled slowly, taking in the ambience of the room that told so much about the puzzle that was Gil Grissom.

After a few moments, however, she tired of the inactivity and decided to take her phone and scrounge up something, or someone, interesting to do.

Moving towards the AV lab, she noticed Archie slumped over his computer screen. Standing in the doorway, she said seductively, "What's up?"

Flicking his gaze towards her, the tech called on all his reserves to muster a smile and say, "Just some research. What's up with you?"

Every bone in his body reacted in disgust as she moved towards this current source of attention.

"Just here to reclaim my phone. Gil left it at my place last night," she answered nonchalantly, running her finger absently over the desktop before her.

Glancing at the SMARTBOARD map of Lake Mead, she queried politely, "New case?"

One click of the button and the screen switched to the Las Vegas desert.

"Not really, just trying to tie up some loose ends on an old homicide possibly linked to this location," Archie lied, hoping Sofia would forget about the Lake Mead map if she spoke to Nick.

He didn't want to hamper Gil's attempts to get Sara back safely.

"Well," sighed Sofia, already bored with this conversation, "when you see Gil, tell him I returned his phone to his office."

Stopping her exit at the door, she leaned in and said, "Have him call me when he gets back."

"Oh, I will,don't worry, Sofia," he smiled and as she moved down the corridor, Archie felt compelled to finish, "I'm _sure_ you'll be hearing from him _soon_…"

--

When Brass heard the shot, he cursed wildly.

He and the sheriff finally kicked in the door after shooting out the locks.

When the door swung open, the sight before him almost brought him to his knees.

There lay Nick, dead from a single gunshot wound to the head.

Sprawled out before him lay Sara, face white, eyes unseeing, the barest hint of movement to indicate her shallow breathing.

At the opened backdoor stood Logan, Derringer pistol still aimed at the fallen duo, obviously shell-shocked, incapable of movement.

The sheriff rushed to the judge, disarming him easily but unable to make the tall figure of a man move from his position.

Behind him, Brass heard Lillian scream, "No! Oh my lord, no!" before running out the door into the early twilight.

But Jim Brass was only centered on one person.

"Sara," he wept as he pulled her slowly away from Nick's body, cradling her against his heaving chest.

"Please, honey…please, Sara…oh my god…" his tears continued to fall.

The rocking motion, the salty tears falling onto her cheeks, Lillian's screams from just outside the cabin – all these factors caused Sara to stir from her unconsciousness.

Just as she had heard Nick's gun click, Sara had resigned herself to her fate.

_Everyone will be better off now._

_No one else will have to die…because of me…not ever again…_

_I'm so sorry, Gil…_

_Sorry I couldn't have been worth the risk…_

_I have only ever brought pain to anyone who loved me…_

_But I will always love you, Gil…forever…_

_Forever…_

_Forgive me…_

Then there had been the blast.

Logan had to make the hardest decision of his life.

Save Nick…or save Sara.

In the end, Logan could not stand by and watch Sara die.

He loved Nick, but he knew he would never be able to stand by and watch his only son on trial for kidnapping, or worse – murder.

No, it was time to put an end to his suffering.

_I love you, son…enough to do the right thing…_

A bullet from Logan's gun ended Nick's anguish as it entered his brain painlessly, immediately stopping his life force.

Fired at such close range, Sara felt the bullet as it exited Nick's frontal lobe and seared painfully into her left side near her ribcage.

Now, as Brass rocked her gently, the pain shot through her sternum, but she felt little blood seep from the wound surrounding the impacted shell.

"Sara! Thank God! Are you hurt?" Brass scanned her bloodied sundress, wrongly assuming that all the blood was from Nick's wound.

"I'm fine," she whispered, feeling drained…and very much alone…

She needed Gil.

But she knew he would never want her now.

She had to get away.

Outside, Logan moved towards Lillian who was screaming at him.

Both Brass and Logan watched as one of the squad cars came and forced Lillian to return to the station to wait until the crime scene was released.

Logan's last sight was of Lillian's shaking form sobbing uncontrollably in the back of the police car.

Turning towards the sheriff, he cleared his throat and then asked, "So…what charges am I looking at, sheriff?"

The sheriff turned towards the grieving father, confused at the question.

The judge began again, "I'm a lawyer, sheriff…I'd like to know the exact citation of the charges so that I can advise my attorney."

The two stared at each other for a long moment.

"Sir.." the sheriff began, not being formally introduced.

"Sir…you acted in protection of a life…I don't know what the law's like where you come from, but here, we don't put heroes in jail…we say, "thank you", for saving that young lady's life."

He moved back into the house to check on Sara, leaving Logan out in the cool night air.

Looking from his spot under the moonlit stars, Logan watched as Brass helped Sara to sit up slowly.

He noticed her bruising, the swelling of her ankle, the distress in her movements, the lack of emotion on her face.

Tears started to fall as he remembered reading the report from his initial investigation into this stranger named Sara Sidle.

_All grown up now…but it's _deva ju_, isn't it, Sara?..._

Now Logan stood in the darkness, tears continued to fall in waves as he grieved,

-for his dead child, his only son,

-for the torment Sara was experiencing,

-for the heartache his wife was enduring,

-for Gil –

Logan shook himself to clear his thoughts.

Someone needed to check on Gil, to tell him Sara was alright…

Logan turned and wiped his face with both hands, almost running towards the other police officer.

Inside the cabin, Brass and the sheriff conversed while the policeman covered Nick's body with a bedsheet and Brass held Sara firmly in his arms.

But Sara was not in this place.

Outwardly, she displayed no emotion.

Deep inside her quiet place, her internal refuge when the emotional pain became too much to bear, Sara was allowed to weep for the loss of a happily ever after with the man she loved enough to lay down her life for.

In this personal solitude, she hugged herself closely as she cradled the new life just beginning to grow within her as she cried, "Oh, Gil…"


	56. Chapter 56

A/N: Posting on the fly…THANK YOU for the reader support and great reviews…mistakes are all mine, please be patient…more soon as possible…-Kathy

--

Lake Mead Medical Center housed a regional trauma center where Grissom was undergoing treatment.

Accompanied by a sheriff's deputy, Logan was granted access to the needed information about Gil's condition.

The bullet had done considerable damage to his shoulder muscle, with additional stress on the area by his escape attempt causing dislocation of the joint and possible long term reduction of movement to his left arm.

His injuries required immediate surgery, and the head nurse cautioned that in his present state it would be a while before they could see him.

"What are his prospects?" Logan queried, and the head nurse began her stock response – but stopped when she saw the desperation in his eyes.

"He'd lost a lot of blood before he came here," she answered truthfully.

"My experience tells me that if they don't find additional damage once they remove the bullet, they will sew him up quickly. In his condition, the less time on the table, the better."

The head nurse patted Logan's hand as she smiled encouragingly.

The judge thanked the woman for her honesty, and gave her a list of cell phone contact numbers.

Eyeing the names attached to the numbers, she raised her eyes and nodded slightly as if to underscore her understanding of the importance of keeping them updated on Gil's condition.

With that, the deputy led the way back to the patrol car.

Within moments, they were heading back to the cabin.

--

By now, the local coroner had been summoned and Brass had carried Sara outside to the wooden bench overlooking the starlit waters of the lake below.

She had not uttered a sound, but Brass was too busy concentrating on keeping her in arm's length as well as keeping appraised of what was happening in the cabin.

Finally, Brass he could wait no longer.

He needed to talk to the coroner about releasing the body into Las Vegas jurisdiction, yet was hesitant to leave Sara alone for a moment. He shuffled the sheriff's blanket higher on her shoulders.

"Hey, doll," he spoke quietly, his tone almost reverent as it broke the silence of the night air.

"You gonna be okay by yourself for just a minute? I …I need to take care of something, but I'll be right back," he spoke reassuringly while watching for signs that she had heard him.

"Uh-huh," Sara responded absently, not returning his gaze but tightening her grip on the woolen comfort.

Brass kissed her soundly on the top of her head, whispering, "Be back in a flash."

With that, he entered the cabin at breakneck speed, slowing slightly to see that she remained where he had left her.

Finally alone, a small tear trickled down her cheek.

She felt so tired, as if there was no life left in her.

Instinctively, her hand slid over her lower abdomen. _But I know that there _is_ life inside me. I just know it!_

Sara's thoughts replayed those moments when the reality of her situation came crashing down around her:

_As she had left Nick to deal with Gil's injuries, Sara had closed the bathroom door to prepare for her afternoon visit to the Justice of the Peace._

_Although she knew she should hurry, Sara sat down on the side of the tub for a moment, trying to reel in her emotions enough to go through with the only plan she had for saving Gil's life._

_Watching a drop fall from the faucet onto the surface of the tub floor, her thoughts fell to the last soak she took in this tub – and how Nick had tried to force the medication down her throat._

_She was still thinking about that medication as she moved to stand before the sink and mirror against the leaf-patterned wall._

_Using Nick's hairbrush, she combed through her tangles as painlessly as she could – all the while bemoaning how she had brought none of her toiletries with her._

_Staring into the image before her, she was temporarily transported back to the ranch, where she had stood like this just looking back at the image of a woman in such emotional distress that Daniel had prescribed medication to calm her._

_A small smirked formed on her face as she thought about those last few hours at the ranch. It had been a daring plan, she knew, to sneak away on the morning of the wedding…no bags, no toiletries…_

"_No brush! No medicines…"_

_The face in the mirror raised its eyebrows as its eyes widened uncomprehending._

"_Oh my lord…_

_No medicines…_

_Not even my birth control pills…_

_Shit!_

_Ten days without taking them, without even _thinking_ about taking them!"_

_Mentally, Sara began to count backwards, her eyes closing in resolution to the reality that –_

I'm pregnant_._

_Without a test, doctors would say it was just conjecture at this point._

_But Sara Sidle had been taking that medicine for over eight years as a relief from irregular, painful periods._

_Stopping the pills at that point in her cycle put her at additional risk for ovulation right about the time of her kidnapping._

_Placing a hand on her stomach, she cursed at the person in the mirror who now had tears trailing down her face._

"_I feel – different._

_I was only with Gil one night._

_I have been here with Nick almost five days, I think._

_I don't remember much because of the medication he forced on me, but I know he-"_

_Sara couldn't bring herself to say the words, even to herself._

"_How could I have been so _stupid?

_How did I not remember to take them? _

_Or at least to _remember _I needed them?"_

_She sat down heavily on the edge of the tub._

"_Even when we get out of this, Gil will not understand._

_He never even said he wanted children!_

_And now, what if I am pregnant with Nick's child?_

_He'll never want to keep it."_

_Both hands lay protectively over her lower abdomen._

"_And I could never get rid of it._

_But he'll never want me now, pregnant with another man's child._

_I'm damaged now…everyone will know it._

_I really am too much of a mess for anyone to fix._

_I'm so sorry, Gil._

_With all that went on at the ranch, I thought just maybe this time…_

_This time…I'd found someone who would love me forever…_

_But I just am not worth the risk to your career, Gil._

_How everyone looks up to you…your reputation…_

_It will all be ruined now, if you stayed with me._

_I can't do that to you…I love you _too much_…_

_I'm so sorry, Gil…"_

_And with that, Sara took a deep breath, then moved to wash her face soundly in the cool water from the tap._

_Finishing, she squared her shoulders for a moment before the mirror, almost in defiance of her situation._

"_But I _can _save your life, my darling GIl…and that is _exactly_ what I am going to do…"_

_And with that, Sara retreated from the bathroom and moved towards Nick, ready to lead him away from Gil by going willingly to the Justice of the Peace._

The sound of a car approaching brought Sara out of her musings, as the headlights flashed painfully on Sara's lone form sitting overlooking the water.

She was hesitant at first to see Logan, fairly certain that he had ended the drama but uncertain as to his current feelings for her.

_After all, he killed his only son because of me._

_He probably hates me now…_

Once again, Sara's theories on other's opinions proved wrong, as Logan bounded towards her and scooped her up in his arms gently.

"Darlin'! My _darlin_' Sara! Oh, thank god," he bellowed, forcing tears to flow again down both cheeks.

The pressure applied to her upper body caused a ripple of pain to flood Sara's side. Even though she wanted to remain in the safety of that embrace, she pulled away sharply from the offending action.

Logan looked a bit shocked but said nothing, just content to know he was this close again to the woman he had searched for.

"Sara," he continued, rubbing his hands over her arms as if to force himself to believe she was really there.

The pain in her side was intensifying from the crushing hug she sustained, and she felt slightly faint as she replied, "Dad? Take me home?"

As if he hadn't understood her clearly, Logan pulled back slightly to look into her eyes. "Sara?"

"Home. Now….please?" she asked, angry that her lips were quivering.

Sara felt if she could just get home, lie in her own bed, perhaps then she could really rest, and say goodbye to the pain…

"Alright, darlin'. We'll just go and collect Lillian-"

"No!" Sara pulled away painfully, twisting slightly so her grimace was hidden from his view.

"Please…just us…"

She looked mournfully in his direction.

"Please, Dad…I just want to go home…"

The bells and whistles were sounding in the back of Logan's head.

He should have asked why she didn't want to see Gil.

He should have asked if she wouldn't wait for Jim to take her.

He should have asked what she planned to do at home, alone.

Instead, Logan crossed the distance and pulled her into a secure hug, simply stating, "Alright, darlin'"

With that, Logan kept his arm around her as he turned his head to find the officer had already returned to the station once he had brought the judge back to the cabin.

"Sara…there isn't a car to take us right now," he said soothingly, kissing her lightly atop her head as she leaned into him.

Knowing she didn't have time to wait, her mind focused on a solution as she looked through the brightly lit cabin and spotted the back door still open.

"We…we can take Nick's…" was all she could get out before her grief threatened to overwhelm her.

Shuddering internally, Logan focused on Sara's need to escape instead of on the loss of his son and agreed.

Once inside the car which was still parked in the partially obscured lot behind the cabin, Logan helped her into the passenger seat with the blanket still firmly wrapped around her.

Looking out of her sideview mirror, she watched Logan move around the back of the vehicle.

Leaning back against the headrest, her eyes moved upwards and saw it mocking her from behind the visor.

A white enveloped bearing the markings of "Justice of the Peace".

As Logan's hand yanked open the driver's door, Sara painfully stretched her hand up to claim the only testament to her legal marriage to Nick, forcing it down the bodice of her blood stained sundress.

While Logan moved to secure his seatbelt, Sara pulled the blanket tighter around herself.

Only when he had secured the seatbelt did engage the car in reverse, whipping around slowly to head towards the airport, did he pull out his cell phone to text Brass about the change in plans…

--

An hour later, an extremely subdued Sara was clutching the blanket tighter with trembling fists.

The pain had increased and she was shivering due to the internal bleeding caused by the still in place bullet.

Logan looked out over the starlit landscape below, eyes unseeing the cloudless patch of starry night before him.

As the Cessna's engines hummed in the background, he slowly turned towards Sara.

She had not spoken since their arrival at the airport, even then did so only to decline the offers of drink or sandwich.

Moving to pull her towards him, Sara almost collapsed against him as her surroundings began to fade around the edges and fatigue battled to overtake her thoughts.

"Sara?" Logan whispered softly, afraid the events of this evening were finally taking its toll on her.

"Dad……tell him…I'm…sorry…."

"Sara?" Logan became alarmed, moving her to a more upright position so he could see her face in the dim light of the plane's cabin.

Muffled cries were his only response, as he had jarred her to a position that caused the bullet wound to open and leak blood onto the blanket.

"Sara!" Logan cried, as he noticed the darkening spot enlarging near her side.

Placing his hand over that area of blanket, he moved as if his hand had been burned.

Blood soaked his palm and fingertips.

Raising his hands desperately towards her face, Logan pleaded, "Sara!" as he saw her eyes close, unconsciousness overcoming her.

"Jack!" Logan screamed to the pilot whose eyes shot to the rearview mirror.

"How far out are we?" noting that they had been in the air a while.

"About 10 – 15 minutes, sir," the pilot answered, noting the tone of immediacy in the judge's words.

"Call ahead. Desert Palms. Have an ambulance waiting at the airport."

While the pilot began speaking into his headset, Logan moved to lay Sara on her back so he could assess her injuries.

He gasped as he noted that most of her sundress was soaked in blood, mostly dried but a large patch of new red still soaking through to her side.

He tried to shift the dress upwards to view the injured area, but the cabin was too dark, the pulling on the fabric caused Sara to moan as if in pain, and the area was too drenched in blood to really tell him much.

Logan took out his clean handkerchief from his back pocket and placed it near what he assumed to be the center of the wound, applying pressure evenly over the top of the fabric to stop the rapid flow of blood from the site.

With his other hand, he moved to smooth the tangle of brown hair, wet with perspiration, as he noted that her body shivered while her head felt hot to the touch.

"Sara-" Logan choked as he wept, worried that for the second time tonight he would have to say goodbye to another child…

--

Brass had secured the paperwork to allow Nick's body to be transported back to Vegas, and thanked the coroner for making arrangements as he now headed towards the Lake Mead Medical Center to check on Gil's progress.

Knowing Sara was in good hands with Logan, Jim was anxious to get some good news about his best friend.

Walking into the hospital, he saw a man dressed in surgical scrubs walking out of the trauma center.

Moving to match his tired stride, Brass introduced himself and inquired about Gil.

"Actually, I was just coming to find his family," the doctor replied, slowing to face Brass.

Jim hoped for good news, and was rewarded with the first bit of good news he had received this week.

"Surgery went well.

If there is no sign of bleeding tomorrow, the transfusions he is receiving will be halted.

The next day, if bleeding doesn't start again, we will move him to a private room.

If all goes well, and his hematocrit is satisfactory, he could be recuperating at home by the weekend," the tired surgeon said.

Brass sighed in relief. "Thank you, doctor. Really, thanks. When can I see him?"

"He'll be out for a while. The injury was aggravated and tough to repair. We're hopeful he will have most of the mobility in that shoulder after some pretty aggressive physical therapy," the surgeon replied, as he led Brass through the doors to recovery.

Nodding slightly, Brass took a seat in a chair next to Gil's pillow.

Finally alone, watching his friend recover from his life-threatening wounds, Jim finally allowed himself a moment to sit back and reflect on the events of the evening.

"She's okay, Gil," Jim spoke softly, knowing Gil was still out of it, but hoping somehow to bring him comfort and hope.

"Things are going to be okay now, buddy," Brass smiled mirthlessly as he allowed his eyes to close for a moment, dogged tired from their recent search.

"It will be okay, Gil."

Or so he thought…

--

The ER doors crashed open as the gurney sped through with EMTs yelling vitals and securing the I.V. lines as their tubes swayed in the wind caused by the racing motion.

The joustling movements, the bright lights, the yanking of her blanket from the gurney to the ER stretcher moved Sara to a light level of consciousness.

Doctors were yelling orders, beginning to cut her clothing to allow better access to her wounds.

Sara began to defend herself against the onslaught of their attentions.

Lab techs were poised at the ready, a team of nurse practitioners were arming tubes and saline packs, a pair of nurses were preparing to take her vitals, and a female doctor was now poised over her speaking loudly,

"Sara? Just lay still, okay? Please stop moving so we can help you."

Shaking her head from side to side, Sara began quietly but soon found her voice almost yelling, "NO! Stop it!"

The doctor yelled for some sedative to be administered.

At this, Sara's eyes flew open and she yanked the I.V. line right out of her hand.

"She's combative! Restraints! Now!" the physician yelled above the fray, causing Sara to kick and swat the first set of bands right out of the nurse's hands.

As luck would have it, at that moment, Cynthia Carter was walking through the ER to retrieve some STAT test results for Dr. Craig.

Hearing the ruckus, she moved through the curtain asking, "Can I –"

She froze as she laid eyes on Sara, tears streaming down her face, clothes bloody, movements suggesting total meltdown.

"STOP!" Cynthia screamed as she rushed towards Sara.

The woman doctor glowered at her as Cynthia pushed her away unceremoniously.

"Carter!" screamed the indignant physician and was about to yank this insubordinate away from her patient, when Cynthia grabbed hold of Sara's head, cradling gently on both sides forcing her to look into her eyes.

"Sara…please, Sara…stop moving…it's alright now…it's alright….I'll call Daniel…" she spoke soothingly.

The rest of the staff retreated a ways, as it was obvious Cynthia's actions were helping the patient.

It took a moment, but Sara's eyes settled on Cynthia's kind gaze.

"That's right, Sara. Just relax. I'll call Daniel. Shhh…" she cooed, smiling reassuringly at Sara.

In a Jekyll/Hyde moment, Cynthia's soft smile reverted to an angry grimace as she shot a glare over her shoulder at the ER doctor and barked, "Page Dr. Craig to come to _his_ patient….NOW!" she added as the woman began to protest.

Huffily, the physician stormed from the room, convinced this incident was far from over.

Cynthia sighed as she looked again into Sara's eyes, worried about the condition of this patient, wondering just what had happened during her captivity…

But she was most shocked when Sara increased the strength of her grasp slightly and whispered, "Please…just let us die…"

The use of the plural pronoun was not lost on Cynthia, and she turned and ordered the rest of the ER staff out of the room.

Within a few moments, Daniel Craig came flying through the room, waving off an angry floor physician as he closed the curtains almost rudely in her face.

He stood still at the sight of Sara on the stretcher, but he inhaled sharply as Cynthia turned towards him and he saw the tears streaming down her face.

"Oh…Daniel…." Cynthia shook her head, and turned back to brush a soothing hand over Sara's forehead.

Hearing his name, Sara opened her eyes to gaze into his. Daniel pulled her hand gently into his and said worriedly, "Tell me what happened, Sara. Let me help you."

But all Sara could do was shake her head and say, "Please…just let us die…"

Cynthia choked back a sob, and Daniel was torn between helping Sara and wanting to hold his Cynthia close, taking away her pain.

Shaking her head, however, Cynthia rallied her strength for Sara and looked sharply into her eyes.

"Listen to me, Sara! NO one is going to die here today! Do you understand me? Daniel and I are NOT going to let ANYONE die today!"

With that, Cynthia whipped around and looked almost angry as she glared at Sara.

"Now, I'm putting in this I.V. and you _are_ going to let Daniel examine you."

Before Sara could protest, Cynthia had already reinserted the I.V. and was hanging a bottle of saline to replenish her fluids and to prepare for additional medications to be administered.

Daniel was working silently to cut away Sara's sundress, covering her with a sheet as he did.

Once he got to the bodice, however, his fingers stopped as his eyes spied white paper – an envelope?

Sara's eyes remained closed and the blood pressure monitor which Cynthia had just attached to the patient showed she was in danger of slipping into unconsciousness.

Daniel took a moment to glance at the imprint outside the envelope, yanking out the paper inside to read the shocking document.

"Oh, my lord…" Daniel gasped, searching Sara's hands, his eyes widening as he found what he was looking for.

"Daniel?" Cynthia said worriedly, as she joined his disbelief as the doctor raised Sara's ring finger to display an unfamiliar set of wedding/engagement rings.

"Daniel," the nurse spoke in low tones, "Sara thinks she might be pregnant."

The doctor froze, mumbling Sara's last words, "…just let _us_ die…"

Racing to the phone, Daniel paged Dr. Steward to the ER, STAT. His old friend would be better able to guide Sara's care. As an obstetrician for over twenty years, this doctor specialized in high risk pregnancies.

For now, however, there could be no doubt.

Daniel called for a lab tech, who appeared within moments.

Dr. Craig personally drew blood from Sara's extended arm, placing the sample in Cynthia's hand – to the surprise of the lab tech.

"Take this, Cynthia, and don't leave until this gentleman personally delivers the results to you STAT!"

With that, Daniel now stood alone with Sara as he finished removing her sundress and draped another fresh sheet across her chest and across the area from her belly button to her toes, leaving the seeping wound visible.

Using a warm lavage, Daniel squirted the warmed liquid tinged with betadine over the bloody area, revealing the source of the blood.

His gasp was heard just as the OB man entered through the curtain.

Both men stared at an obvious bullet hole whose angle suggested ribs had been grazed and the bullet may now be residing somewhere near the fallopian tubes – or the uterus.

Glancing at each other briefly, their brief period of inaction was followed by a flurry of activity.

Although the wound continued to bleed, Dr. Stewart donned OR scrubs and rubber gloves and began to manipulate the area while Dr. Craig raced to the phone to notify OR of the need for an operating suite as soon as possible.

He was just about to join his colleague at Sara's side when her blood pressure monitor began to scream wildly that her pressure had dropped to dangerous levels.

Daniel moved swiftly, yelling to the floor nurse who came to assist to cross and typematch the patient for two units of blood.

He was prepping a needle to add to Sara's I.V. when Cynthia came flying through the curtains, catching his eye.

It was all she could do not to cry, but Cynthia Carter was a professional – her own feelings would have to wait.

Without fanfare, she moved to Daniel's side and caught Stewart's eye as she said, "Positive for pregnancy."

The two doctors shared a quick glance before Daniel added the medication that caused Sara's heart rate to rise slightly, cutting off the offending noise.

Shaking his head in response to Daniel's unanswered question, the obstetrician simply said,  
"Won't know, Daniel, until I get a look inside there."

Cynthia moved towards Sara and brushed a curl back behind her ears.

Without a word, Daniel's heart broke as he watched Cynthia mechanically remove the wedding ring set from Sara's hand.

Daniel reached into his pocket and opened the white envelope into which Cynthia placed the rings.

Her expression was unreadable, which worried Daniel.

But he had _two _patients to care for now…his personal concerns would just have to wait.

The wall phone chirped and Daniel answered on the second ring. The OR was ready.

"Let's get the show on the road," Stewart said to no one in particular.

Moving to the head of the stretcher to push it forward, the doctor looked into Cynthia's troubled eyes.

"I'll do everything I can, Cindy," he spoke softly, winking encouragingly at her before he headed through the curtain to follow Daniel's lead.

Left alone in the silence that ensued, Cynthia slumped down into the chair, clutching the envelope.

Absently, she opened it and pulled out the paper which revealed that Sara had married Nick just yesterday afternoon.

From the look of her other wounds, Cynthia couldn't force herself to believe that this girl, who had been so happy and so in love with Gil Grissom, could ever willingly submit to marriage to the very man from whom, Daniel had told her , she was running away.

_How did all this happen?_

_Oh, Sara, what happened to you?_

_And _where_ is Grissom when you need him the most?_

_Oh, Sara…._

Cynthia pulled the expensive wedding band set from the envelope, staring at it as she remembered how happy Sara had been with the ring Gil had placed on her hand.

She thought she had never seen a man more in love.

She thought about the last time she had seen him, as he came to see Daniel hoping Sara had tried to contact him after she disappeared.

She thought she had never seen a man more lost…

_How had it all fallen apart?..._

Shaking her head, confused tears began to fall from Cynthia's eyes as she threw the rings into the envelope and clutched her arms around herself, shaking her head and crying softly, "Oh, Gil…"


	57. Chapter 57

A/N: This story is keeping me awake at night… I am again posting on the fly…all mistakes are mine, thanks for bearing with me…Another pivotal chapter, but the ride is far from over…your reviews have been heartfelt and are so appreciated, as is all the terrific reader response…more as soon as possible, but a wedding out of town this weekend so I'll be away from my computer from Friday – Sunday…hoping for one more update before I go…sigh…these two are testing my limits…thanks to all for your terrific support… -Kathy

--

Upon awakening to the pain deep in his shoulder, Gil forced open his eyes to see a tired, smiling Jim Brass speaking softly, "Welcome back!"

Glancing around the tiny cubicle, even through the haze of this thoughts Gil seemed anxious that Brass was alone.

"Sara?" he squeaked, almost hoarse from the intubation necessary for the surgery.

Leaning forward, Brass was happy to relate, "She's fine. Logan took her back to Vegas."

Shrugging off the alarms that were pinging around him at that information, Gil settled back and closed his eyes in relief.

_My Sara is safe._

Suddenly, his eyes were forced open as he gazed into Jim's eyes to find the truth there. "Nick?"

This time, Brass lowered his head before sighing heavily.

"He's…no longer a problem, Gil."

The medication made his thoughts fuzzy as Gil tried to understand the meaning behind the words.

But the effects of the anesthesia overcame his urge to continue the conversation and the patient quickly settled back into an uneasy sleep.

_Nick…no longer a problem…_

_Sara safe…_

_Honey…_

_I need you…_

_--_

"I see…yes…yes, I understand. Of course," Daniel spoke softly into the receiver as he leaned back into his leather office chair.

Closing his eyes, he ended the call by saying, "You have been a great help, Judge Williams…of course…as soon as I know anything…thank you."

Placing the receiver calmly down on the cradle, Daniel sat bolt upright for a moment – then cleared his desk with one angry motion.

_Dammit!_

_The old man was so caught up in the festivities, he failed to do the _one thing_ that would make it legal!_

_How the hell hard was it to ensure that both of them signed the damn license?_

Daniel's chair went flying out behind him as he stood up to pace around his office, running his fingers angrily through his hair.

_And what exactly am I supposed to tell Gil?_

"_Funny thing, Gil…you know your happily ever after marriage? Well, it is neither 'ever after' nor a 'real marriage'."_

_Daniel kicked the decorative trash can across the room._

_And that old man…"Well, Daniel, when they left that night, I noticed she hadn't signed…I just figured I'd catch up with them a day or two later…who knew the girl would disappear?"_

_WHO KNEW?_

_Dammit, judge…doesn't anyone do their job correctly in this world anymore?_

Daniel felt like he could scream, but instead plopped himself down on the couch, covering his eyes with his arm as he tried to calm down.

_He was there._

_He should have checked that everything was alright._

_They had been so happy._

_She loves him. I know it. _

_How did she wind up marrying Stokes?_

Stokes!

Daniel was forced to his feet by the realization that he had not looked for Logan or Brass in the waiting room.

Knowing they would be frantic with worry, Daniel was paging the OR head nurse as he pushed the door to the stairwell open and flew through down the three flights of stairs.

Nodding as he ended his conversation about Sara's present status, Daniel pulled back the main floor entrance door and stepped through it, heading directly towards the main waiting room.

Instantly, he spotted Logan sitting with this head in his hands.

Daniel inhaled deeply as he slowed his pace, not wanting to alarm the man about Sara's condition.

Patting his pocket where the white envelope now resided, he knew that this father was going to have many shocks tonight, and Daniel didn't want to add to his distress.

Seeing the doctor approach, Logan placed his hands together in final prayer and reared himself to his full height, ready for any news that would now be forthcoming.

"Daniel," Logan began, reaching out for his hand.

Not pausing to claim it, Daniel pushed forward for a quick, manly embrace. With a few pats on the back Daniel now stood directly in front of Logan.

The gesture had touched the older man deeply, and now made him fully aware that Daniel had something unpleasant to report.

Taking a deep breath, wondering how to begin, Daniel spied the admissions clipboard for Sara's intake information.

Noticing the direction of Daniel's gaze, Logan smiled and picked up the board.

"Grissom, Sara"

Logan's smile was fading as he looked at Daniel.

"She never even told me if she was keeping her name, or taking his," he replied, a hitch evident in his voice.

"Logan-" Daniel began, but he was cut off with an abrupt, "Just tell me, Daniel. Whatever it is. I- I just can't take the worry any longer."

Pleading with his eyes, Logan asked again, "Just tell me. What about Sara?"

Again breathing deeply, Daniel took the clipboard and pulled out his fountain pen to cross out the word "Grissom" and replace it by writing "Stokes" over the top of it.

Handing it back to Logan, the judge just sat back, mouth agape.

"I don't understand," he said, his cheeks turning crimson in aggravation.

"Is this some kind of joke?" he fumed, sitting forward in exasperation.

Daniel wanted to say that yes, it was the cruelest joke that fate would play on this happy couple.

Instead, he reached into his pocket and placed the white envelope and its contents into the judge's hand.

Staring blankly for a few seconds, Logan opened the envelope and retrieved the rings.

He recognized the engagement ring immediately.

"My mother's," he spoke softly, emotion choking his volume.

Pulling forward the paperwork, he read it with the eyes of a member of the judiciary, nodding sadly as he saw that all was in order.

As his eyes fell on Nick's and Sara's signatures it was all Logan could do to not completely break down.

"Nick…son…what did you do?...what did you do?" he whispered, his hand now rubbing downwards across his tear streaked face.

"Where is Nick now?" Daniel asked, almost not wanting his fears confirmed.

Without looking up, Logan said, "Dead. From a gunshot wound to the back of the head."

The doctor asked, "Where you there?"

A lengthy pause almost caused Daniel to ask again, when suddenly Logan's shoulders began to convulse as his head nodded and a quivering voice said, "It was by my gun."

The two men sat without speaking, one unable to fathom the anguish of the elder, while the other totally unbelieving that this wasn't a bad dream from which he would awaken eventually.

"And where's Gil?" Daniel asked, more worried now that Gil had done nothing to prevent this turn of events.

"Hospital. He was hurt pretty bad. Nick-" was all he could say before the judge became overcome with grief.

Daniel sat there across from the aged man, letting him know that both he and Cynthia would be there for him, to help in any way they could.

After a while, Logan asked for Daniel to please get an update on Sara.

Unsure as to Sara's wishes, Daniel did not inform Logan about the pregnancy, nor the consequences this surgery could have on the baby.

Taking the paperwork to the admissions desk, Daniel called Cynthia to phone CSI and find out if someone could get in contact with personnel for Sara's emergency contact file.

Glancing one more at Logan who was leaning back against the cushions, blocking out the worry by closing his eyes to rest, Daniel moved towards the elevators.

He needed to call Brass to check on Gil…

--

As Gil opened his eyes the next morning, he found Brass in different clothes but in the same position.

This time, though, the relief he had gleaned from the detective's eyes wasn't there anymore.

Instead, Gil knew his friend was hiding something.

"Sara?" he asked weakly, startling Brass who had been deep in thought.

"Hey! You're finally awake! How are you feeling?" Jim asked, stalling for time.

Gil wasn't to be put off.

"Tell me, dammit! Is she alright?" Gil tried to sit up, halted by a searing pain in his shoulder and his old friend's hand on his sternum.

"Easy, there, buddy…don't go pulling out any stitches," Jim tried again, but in this proximity to Grissom he found it impossible to keep the truth from him.

"Relax, and I'll tell you the whole story," Brass said, noticing that Gil was forcing himself to calm down although he was obviously in pain.

"I'm listening, Jim," Gil said through clenched teeth.

Clearing his throat, Jim slowly met Grissom's gaze as he said, "She's stable for now."

"Stable?!" Gil asked excitedly. "What the hell happened to her? You told me she was alright!"

Putting both hands up defensively, Brass pleaded, "Please,Gil…let me finish."

Gil sat back but refused to be calmed. A nurse came in to check his vitals and he barked at her so loudly she backed out of the room in haste.

"Gil! No need to scare the poor girl!" Brass admonished, but Gil would not be put off.

"Tell me, Jim, or so help me-" Gil moved menacingly forward, only to rear back in extreme pain.

Brass was on his feet, reaching over Gil to ring for a nurse when he felt himself being yanked downwards until he was facing an angry Grissom.

"Right now!" he gasped weakly, a tear leaking down his face from the pain, but his hands gripping Brass forcefully.

"Alright, alright. Let me go and I'll tell-"

But Gil would not be dissuaded again.

"NOW!" he said through gritted teeth, and Brass was amazed at the strength adrenaline could give a person.

Looking him directly in the eye, Brass sighed and forced himself to begin the story he knew would send Gil through the roof.

"She's had surgery."

Gil dropped his hand, the breath momentarily refusing to enter his body.

"What? How is she?" His voice sounded small and afraid.

"Daniel said she lost a lot of blood."

"Jim, my blood loss was from a bullet to the shoulder….was Sara?..." he looked away in anguish.

"Please…tell me what happened…"

Jim went on to relate the two conversations he had held during the overnight hours.

how Nick had died,

how Sara had inadvertently been shot as the bullet exited Nick's body,

how she had concealed her injuries in an effort to "get home"

how Daniel had come to the ER and gotten a surgeon to work on her almost immediately.

"She's stable, expected to make a full recovery. The bullet was lodged deep inside her, with a large period of internal bleeding."

At seeing Grissom wince, Jim placed his hand on his arm gently as she said, "Luckily, it missed all major organs. After they build up her reserves, they plan on home recuperation beginning early next week."

At this, Gil relaxed.

_Home. Next week._

_They would recuperate together._

He almost smiled at the memory of Daniel's order for their convalescence at the ranch. That had been a little over a month ago.

_How time changes things._

"_I will never take our time together for granted…not ever again…" Gil thought, suddenly anxious to speak to Sara._

"Jim, I need to speak to Sara. Could you please ring the hospital so I can talk to her?"

Brass looked at Gil in disbelief.

Logan had related the rest of the story to him, but right now Jim didn't feel Grissom was up for the complete truth.

_Besides, maybe if Sara hears his voice, things will be alright again._

Opening his cell phone, he smiled at Gil and said, "This could take a while, why not close your eyes and take a rest."

Gil did rest against his pillows, but excitement began to build in his system.

_My Sara is alright._

_We will be together soon._

_Everything will be alright now._

_I love her so much._

_--_

Cynthia sat next to Sara's bed, encouraging her to at least try some broth.

"I just can't now, Cynthia. Maybe later," Sara said as she pushed the tray away from her, only to have Cynthia push it back.

"Some jello cubes, then…just something, Sara….that new life needs nourishment," the nurse cajoled.

Locking eyes with Sara, she knew she was getting through.

Slowly, Sara raised the spoon to her lips – twice – before her hand fell heavily to the bedcovers.

"That was a good try, Sara," Cynthia spoke again, noting the pained expression on Sara's face.

"Sara? Any pain?" she asked professionally before she realized that Sara was crying softly.

"Oh, honey," Cynthia cooed, rubbing Sara's hair from her eyes.

"I was so stupid. How could I have been so careless?" Sara wept, hugging herself lightly as her sobs were making painful ripples through the abdominal stitches.

"Listen, Sara…I can't imagine what you are going through, but I'm sure that Gil-"

At the mention of his name, Sara's eyes flew open, panicked.

"He can't know!

He'll hate me!

He won't understand!

Nick…and I….ohhh!" her sobs increased , sure that Cynthia would not understand how Sara could have been legally wedded to Nick even though the nurse had witnessed her nuptials to Gil just a few short weeks ago.

Cynthia continued to soothe Sara saying, "I know, Sara. I understand."

"No…no you don't understand at all!" Sara sobbed, not wanting to disclose her mistake for fear of angering Cynthia and being abandoned right now.

Although they were fledgling friends, Sara felt this nurse was all she had right now.

_Dad, Brass, Lillian – they'll hate me for what happened to Nick._

_And Gil…oh my lord…I can't do this! I can't have this baby! They should have just let us die!_

_I didn't want anyone else to die because of me._

_But Nick _did_ die._

_Because of _me_._

_I'm _so _not worth the risk!_

_Everyone I have every loved has been hurt because of me._

_And now, I am bringing a new life into this world…and it will suffer too, because of me…_

_They should have just let us die!_

Cynthia tried to console Sara , to no avail.

Finally, wondering if she would only hurt matters more, Cynthia said, "Sara, I know about your marriage to Nick."

Sara froze.

_If Cynthia knew, then who else…._

Sara refused to look at Cynthia.

She couldn't bear to see the hatred directed towards her.

And no matter how Cynthia tried to tell Sara it was alright, the walls had been fortified.

There was no reaching her.

Worried, Cynthia moved towards the phone to page Daniel, when the receiver rang in her hands, disturbing the emotional silence in the room.

"May I help you?" Cynthia asked, turning to Sara who still refused to look at her.

"This is Detective Brass, LVPD. To whom am I speaking, please?"

Cynthia raised her eyes to heaven for the good timing of the call.

"Jim Brass, "she turned slightly to view Sara in her peripheral vision, happily noting that Sara had stilled and was obviously listening.

"Jim, it's Cynthia," she spoke loudly and moved closer to Sara, sitting lightly on the edge of the hospital bed.

Jim moved away from Gil slightly, as he spoke softly, "How is she?"

Cynthia sighed and replied cryptically with more cheer than she felt, "Why yes, she _is_ awake…would you like to speak to her?"

Understanding that something was wrong with Sara, Jim turned back towards Gil and spoke:

"Someone _here _is demanding to speak to Sara. How about we let these two finally talk, eh?" Jim smile was a bit forced, but Gil was so focused on talking that he concentrated more on grabbing the phone from Brass.

Sara was shaking her head forcefully, but Cynthia would not be deterred.

As soon as she had fully cradled the receiver in Sara's hand, the nurse pulled away sharply.

Sara looked at her pleadingly, but Cynthia continued to back out of the room, spinning as her back hit the door so she could make a hasty retreat.

To appease her worry, however, Cynthia only half closed the door, letting Sara know she'd be around when she finished speaking to Gil.

On a split screen, the contrast would tear at your heartstrings.

In one hospital bed, a face-splitting smile of a man thanking all that is holy for the gift of finally speaking to his love.

In the other hospital bed, a frightened, lonely soul fidgeted with the phone cord, willing her heartbeat to slow down, almost faint with anxiety.

Finally, just as Sara was about to press the disconnect button, she heard it.

A faraway sound, like the music of butterflies sailing over the cresting waves.

A sound she was sure she would never hear again.

"Sara? Honey?"

Placing the receiver closer to her ear, Sara found herself unable to utter a sound.

But Gil's revelry was not to be contained.

"Oh, god, honey, please…Sara?...honey, please talk to me. I've been so worried about you."

_He'll never understand._

_He'll hate me when he finds out._

_I can't take it…I'll never be the same without him…_

_I can't do it…_

But Gil was insistent.

"Sara? I love you, honey. Even if you can't speak to me now. Just know this.

I love you.

You are all I have ever wanted.

You are all I will ever need.

I love you, Sara.

Forever."

The tears spilled over her closed eyelashes, as Sara was finally overcome with

the grief over her recent ordeal,

the horror of Nick's death,

the pain of her surgery,

the relief in knowing Gil was alive and well,

the reality of her pregnancy,

and the certain knowledge of his impending abandonment.

The tears continued to flow as Gil continued his barrage of endearments, pausing only briefly to ask worriedly, "Sara? Do you still love me?"

This last query causing Sara to breakdown totally, weeping openly as sobs racked her shoulders as she could only whisper, "Oh, Gil…"


	58. Chapter 58

A/N: Thanks, thanks, and thanks again for the terrific reader support and reviews of the last chapter…these two are really getting to me…baby steps forward, but more twists ahead…I hope to publish another update before the weekend…your support of the story always brings a smile, and I am grateful to those who are staying with the story as we twist and turn towards GSR eventually…more as soon as possible… - Kathy

--

The glare of the late afternoon sun was deflected slightly through the tempered glass of the medivac helicopter.

Jim Brass eyed the approaching Vegas skyline, lost in thought.

_What is waiting for us there?_

Following the end of Gil's phone call, the day's events unfolded at what seemed like warp speed.

Gil's attending physician had come barreling into the room, unhappy at his patient's earlier behavior towards the charge nurse

Pulling himself up to his work-mode stature, Brass had effectively defused the doctor's protests with a simple command: _Contact Desert Palms and make arrangements for this patient's immediate transfer into the care of his personal physician, Dr. Daniel Craig._

Daniel's widespread reputation among his colleagues brokered no argument from the stunned physician, a younger man who had no interest in going toe-to-toe with this legendary icon of trauma medicine.

Jim now let out a small chuckle, remembering how the younger man's demeanor had changed at the sound of Daniel's name.

Twisting slightly in his wall mounted seat, he stared at Gil's still form, glad they had lightly sedated his troubled friend to make transport easier.

Sighing internally, Jim was glad Gil seemed peaceful.

_But for how long?_

His body reacted as he felt the descent of the aircraft as it slowed to make its approach to the Desert Palms hospital helipad, a sinking feeling in his stomach created by the loss of altitude.

And, perhaps, created by the fear of what they would find there…

--

Cynthia was spending her usual day off now bustling around Sara's room, watching out for small ways to make Sara comfortable.

And to help her understand she was not alone.

Although they had not exchanged words in over an hour, the nurse was hopeful that Sara was somewhat comforted her presence.

The nurse smiled as she stood from her seat near the window to see that Sara had finally fallen into a light sleep.

Moving to replace the I.V. bag, Cynthia was standing very close to Sara's resting form when she first heard the mumbled phrases that indicated Sara's descent into the hell of another nightmare.

_She was practically floating down the aisle, which had been decorated with lush bouquets of daisies and organdy bows._

_The pews were empty, almost threateningly clothed in the echo of dark shadows._

_The cathedral's ceiling dimly dotted with starlight, the sides of the carpeted trail were muted into darkness – the only light at the end of the aisle._

_He stood there, his back to her._

_She was trying to rush to him, her progress suddenly impeded by the almost tacky nature of the red carpet._

_Plodding forward as if trying to run in knee-deep sand, she felt the lacy bodice of her empire-waist separating and flaking off, leaving a trail of litter that was being swallowed by the murk of the red floor below._

_She heard the discordant strains being produced from the pipe organ looming overhead as the church's choir loft seemed to move swiftly, ominously closing in behind her._

_Sara was panting as she used the decorative wooden aisle markers for each pew to yank herself forward, getting more and more bogged down into the murk with each attempt to move closer to him._

_She was trying to call out to him, but as in all devilish dreams she couldn't make her mouth work._

_Only a low moan escaped her lips, but Sara continued to try to call out to him._

_He was so close._

_He would help her._

_She only had to call for him._

_She only had to figure out _how_ to call for him._

…_If she could just say the words…_

…_He would be there for her…_

…_He would turn and see how much she needed him…_

…_He would race to her, hold her in his arms…tell her he would never leave her…_

…_If only she could just say the words…_

_The night terror deepened as she saw the minister move towards Gil and shake his head._

"Sara's too late_."_

_She heard him say the words, and noticed Gil shrug his shoulders and begin to follow the minister into the waiting darkness ahead._

_  
Sara increased her efforts, pulling both hands down to move her leaden legs forward one step at a time._

_Each step was becoming physically painful, but she needed to move forward._

_She couldn't bear to see him walk away from her._

_She couldn't do this alone._

_She needed _him.

_She loved _him_._

_But he was leaving her._

_He never even turned to look for her._

_He was just going to let her go._

_She was moaning louder now, hoping the noise would make him stop._

_But he was almost out of sight._

_She looked down to find the murk had turned to blood._

_The red carpet was now transformed into the cabin's blood splattered hardwood floor._

_Sara was shaking her head, her senses on overload._

_She wanted to double over in pain as her legs were now cemented in a sea of blood, _

_and as arms were felt on her abdomen which was cruelly being pulled backwards,_

_and as the organ was swelling, _

_and as her arms were flailing frantically in an attempt to reach out to him,_

_and as her voice refused to sound the one word that would free her from this nightmare._

_She turned wide-eyed to see the choir loft directly behind her, as the organist refused to release his painful hold on her._

_She felt faint with fright as the tuxedo-clad organist played with frightening overtones, fully twisting suddenly to reveal his identity._

_She shuddered unbelievingly._

_She was staring at Nick!_

_His head continued to bleed in terrifying volume as rivulets of blood swept from his immaculately groomed hairline._

_The music continue even though the frightening specter now turned his full attention on the frightened bride held prisoner within his reach._

_Nick's lips now loomed dangerously close to her ear, as he grinned evilly while jutting his chin upward, making her turn and follow his path of his icy glare._

_She turned just as the two figures disappeared into the dark, swirling mist of oblivion – but not before she heard Gil's voice wafting mournfully over the distance: _

'I guess I wasn't worth the risk...'

_The pressure of Nick's arms increased as Sara found herself being propelled slowly backwards, the painful weight of his linked fingers clenched over her abdomen making her want to cry out in pain._

_Sara struggled against the pain, however, in her renewed struggle to call out to the one man who would save her._

_She felt Nick's hot breath near her ear as his eyes danced heatedly, his voice cajoling her to turn towards him as he whispered, "Sara…honey…"_

_She tried to scream. She tried to run. Her limbs felt like lead and the only sound she could produce was a low moan._

_She struggled within his arms, shaking her head from side to side as Nick tried to kiss her neck, all the while whispering, "Sara…honey…please…"_

_She knew she would rather die than submit to his advances one more time._

_Through the encircling darkness that signaled her failure to escape Nick's grasp, Sara looked longingly one final time towards the last place she had seen the only man she would ever truly love._

_Suddenly, she saw a sliver of light pierce the darkness as the two shadowy figures moved farther from her, towards an opening door._

_Sara realized this was her _last _chance._

_If she didn't succeed this time in reaching out to him, all would be lost._

_Summoning all the strength she could muster, Sara fought with all her might against the arms that were holding her steadfast as she screamed, "GIL!"_

Just then, the door to the room flew open as Daniel rushed towards Cynthia who was failing in her attempts to restrain Sara from hurting herself while in the throes of her nightmare.

Dr. Craig had seen Cynthia Carter work in a myriad of difficult situations over their many years of emergency room work.

But this was the first time he had seen this powerhouse of a woman practically crumbling before him.

With tear-streaked cheeks, Cynthia glanced at him with eyes that were filled with relief that he had arrived – and total loss as to how to help this woman she had grown to love as a friend.

At his touch, the nurse lifted her hands which had been keeping Sara's abdominal pressure bandage in place to prevent injury as this patient's body thrashed around.

"10 mg. diazepam," he shouted over Sara's bloodcurdling screams.

"Daniel-" Cynthia shook her head, countermanding his order.

Closing his eyes, he shook his head at his stupidity.

_Of course, that drug was what got her into this mess in the first place…_

Sara's thrashing had slowed slightly from the pressure having been removed from her abdomen.

Daniel leaned his head closer to her, stroking her dampened curls away from her face.

"Sara-" he spoke slowly in an authoritative tone, "…honey…wake up. You're alright. Everything is okay. Please…wake up, Sara…"

Daniel continued his mantra, never wavering from his loud but controlled tone, until her breathing began to normalize somewhat.

After what seemed like an eternity, Sara's breath hitched as her eyes flew open in panic.

Immediately, the pain caused by her movements seared across her stitching, causing her legs to bend protectively as she hugged the incision sight.

Tears flowed through clenched eyelids, but she did not utter a word.

Daniel continued his examination, slowly lowering her legs and inspecting the dressing, silently glancing at Cynthia who was now in work mode.

She was already moving towards the bed with a new dressing kit, having taken a moment to shake off her upset and concentrate on helping Sara.

To an outsider, Nurse Carter was the composite professional.

To someone who had his heart stolen by this woman a long time ago, he saw the emotions she had wrangled to suppress in her desire to put Sara's needs before her own.

At that moment, Daniel thought he could not love her more.

"Florence, here, will dress your wound, Sara," the doctor spoke soothingly to Sara as he continued to stroke her hair in a calming fashion, bemused at noting in his peripheral vision how Cynthia's head shot up to gaze upon him.

Sara did not respond as Daniel turned to lock eyes for the briefest moment with this woman who had stolen his heart.

Smiling encouragingly at her, he placed his open palm over her hand poised to remove the last of the bloody gauze.

"She'll be alright, Cyn," he spoke before standing upright, moving towards the door.

Suddenly, his forward motion was blocked by the nurse's hand on his arm.

Trying valiantly to suppress her desire to wrap herself in the safety of his arms, Cynthia looked downwards to hide her need from him.

Instead, she increased the pressure on his arm and said, "I …Daniel…I think…I mean….I feel perhaps Sara needs…"

He waited patiently. Daniel could only remember a handful of times that Cynthia had ever asked him to reconsider his course of treatment for a patient. And she had been right every time.

Taking a breath, she looked into his attentive gaze as she said softly, "Call Monica."

Daniel breathed out slowly as he considered his patient's situation.

Nodding slightly, he turned his head back towards Cynthia, surprising her when he leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead.

Smiling warmly, he reached out and cupped her cheek, his heart racing as she leaned into it for a split second.

But a moment was all they spared, as the nurse righted herself and without a backwards glance moved back towards Sara to replace her dressing.

Daniel smiled at this woman who held his heart, and moved through the door to place his important call.

--

Back at the lab, Sofia had come in to work swing shift today.

She was cognizant of the rumor mill running rampant, but also something else….

An uneasiness spread over her, as she saw lab techs in small groups huddled in conversation.

Walking by Gil's door, she opened the door into the darkened space, pausing to flick a switch.

Surprised to see his cell phone exactly where he left it, her training was causing her to put some pieces of the puzzle together.

She didn't like the direction the facts were taking her.

Deciding to get to the bottom of things, Sofia headed towards Ecklie's office near the corridor leading down to the morgue – only to find the entire wing cordoned off, with an officer standing guard.

"So…what's happening around here?" Sofia asked lightly, hairs on the back of her head already standing on edge.

"No one in this corridor for a few hours," the officer answered cryptically, his eyes sweeping her face before his natural instincts continued their scan until they landed on the top button of her shirt which strained a bit to restrain her lily white form.

Placing her hands in her back pockets to accentuate her assets, Sofia moved forward to ask again, "So…what's going on down _there_?" meaning the hallway, but her own eyes drifting south on the officer's uniform…

--

He felt it before he could see it, his eyes struggling to open under the waning effects of the sedation.

When he finally could open his eyes, Gil saw a flurry of activity in his new hospital room.

An LPN was opening shades to admit some late day sunlight, an RN was administering pain medication to his I.V., and floor nurse was taking some initial patient inventory readings.

In the corner, he could see Brass leaning back against the rungs of the wooden chair, his face solemn, his eyes closed to fend off his obvious fatigue.

Gil noticed his friend spring to life as the R.N.'s voice spoke softly, "Ah, Mr. Grissom…you're awake. How are you feeling?"

His lips so dry, he licked them without relief as he asked, "Water?"

The soft smile of the nurse reassured him as the LPN was just returning with his pitcher of newly prepared ice water.

"Coming right up," she said, adding, "any pain? Tenderness?"

He moved to suck up the cooling liquid through the straw that the younger nurse held, keeping its cooling relief in his mouth a moment before swallowing it painfully.

Noticing his wince, the nurse placed a notation on his file recommending something for his postoperative throat discomfort.

"Dr. Craig will be checking in on you later. Is there anything you need?"

All his physical, emotional, and spiritual needs could be fulfilled with a single word.

Without hesitation, he croaked weakly, "Sara."

Glancing around questioningly, the R.N. locked gazes with Brass for help in understanding the request.

"Our colleague has been admitted. Surgical ward I believe. Sidle. Sara Sidle. If you could find out about her…" Jim answered, also worried about her.

"Of course," she replied to Gil and moved to step away before halting her progress.

This patient was obviously a friend of Dr. Craig, recalling the flurry of activity in getting him transferred to this facility and onto the physician's assigned floor.

Instead of moving away, the R.N. picked up the receiver of Gil's bedside phone and punched in an extension number.

"Sally, this is Grace on six. Fine, thanks. I am looking for information on a –" she paused to look again towards Brass.

"Sidle. Sara Sidle." Jim said anxiously, his eyes locking with Gil's worried glare.

"Sara Sidle. Sure, I'll hold," the nurse answered as her brow crinkled reflexively. This information was usually given without hesitation.

"You're sure? Might have been an ER admit," she spoke a bit softer, turning away from the patient slightly.

"I see. Could you continue to check, and page me if you find something? Thanks," the nurse said in an even softer tone before wheeling around to face her patient with the bad news.

"Tell me."

The soft-spoken words commanded her attention and forced a response.

This gentleman was clearly used to being a supervisor, not a patient.

"Currently, there is no record of a Sara Sidle being admitted to this facility in the last few days," she spoke with some authority.

Seeing the reaction of both men in the room, she held her hand up reassuringly.

"If your friend was here, it is possible her paperwork is just in processing," she tried to reason, without much confidence in her own explanation.

Gil was already fussing, making useless attempts to sit upright.

Brass was there in a heartbeat, placing his hand again on Gil's chest to calm him.

"Relax, buddy," he spoke commandingly, glad to feel the tension lighten somewhat on Gil's muscles.

Looking across the bed at the R.N., Brass motioned with his head movement to walk outside with him.

Glancing at Gil who was now trying to calm himself to lessen the pain in his wound site, Brass hurried out the door, leaving it partially opened for the nurse to follow through.

Thinking they were out of earshot, Brass glared at the woman in his best interrogator face.

Nodding, she sighed and said, "There has only been one "Sara" admitted in the last few days."

Jim's heart stopped, worried where this conversation was leading.

"Where is she?" Brass demanded a bit louder, not fully realizing that his emotions had caught Gil's attention.

Laying as silently as his injuries would allow, Gil thanked heaven for the success of his surgery as he heard the nurse answer anxiously, "Well, that patient is on the sixth floor, but-"

Gil cursed as the conversation dimmed to extinction, realizing that the duo had begun walking down the hall.

Sara was on the sixth floor.

So close.

Gil reared his head painfully off the pillow, at once hauling himself upright and swinging his legs over the sides of his bed.

Getting his bearings, he realized now as he looked around the room that he was in the same room Daniel had placed him in originally so he could keep his eye on Sara.

_And if memory serves me, that storage room is only four doors away…_

Though his knees almost buckled as his bare feet hit the floor, Gil gasped in agony as he caught himself in time and pulled his weight up painfully to lean against the bed.

Closing his eyes, he yanked out the I.V. needle before clicking the stop on the tubing to prevent any of the medication from leaking out onto the floor.

Hearing the dings of patient request buzzers at the nearby nurse's station, Gil hoped his little trek would be witnessed by empty seats at the nurse's station.

He needed to find Sara.

He needed to see her.

He needed _her._

As luck would have it, his slow trek pressed up along the hospital walls was not noticed.

Opening the door to the familiar storage room, he was grateful to find one wheelchair stood opened, not folded like the others in the cubicle.

Before pulling shut the door, Gil grabbed a hospital blanket to cover his unclad feet and legs, securing it in place just as the patient elevator doors behind him opened.

_Busted!_

Ready to fight with the first person who tried to return him to his room, Gil was pleasantly surprised to find the orderly who was coming off the elevator speaking in friendly tones.

"Hey! Sorry about that," the young man in a white lab coat smiled, moving the supply cart towards the storage room.

Closing the door quickly, he spun Grissom around and headed towards the elevator.

"Guess everybody knows you were waiting for a ride, 'cept me!" the orderly spoke with the slight hint of a background beat.

Stunned into silence, Gil couldn't believe his luck.

_Providence._

And not for the first time did Gil thank heaven above for helping him get to Sara.

"You, uh, have a chart?" the orderly asked as the doors closed.

Gil sighed and decided the truth was best here – at least, his take on the truth.

"I was waiting….to go to the sixth floor…"

The orderly pressed the button for six, turning a quizzical glance at Gil who quickly continued.

"The other person from the ….accident…they told me she was on six….I was just waiting for someone to take me to see her."

The young man smiled broadly.

"Gotcha. A social call on six it is," he said, patting Gil's shoulder lightly.

Gil sighed softly, his face then contorting as the young man's motions reverberated through his aching wound.

"Oh, hey…sorry…sorry, man," the orderly apologized, worried he had caused more pain to this man who was so obviously hurting.

"It's okay," Gil muttered, as he was being wheeled out of the elevator.

_Sixth floor. Now what? Sara – where are you, sweetheart?_

Wanting desperately to make up for causing the older man some pain, the orderly swung around to meet Gil's gaze.

"Listen – I am sorry, man. Let me help you get to the room-" he started, but was cut off by Gil.

"Please…just take me to the lounge," Gil countered, wanting to rid himself of this too-helpful interference.

"You sure?" the young man asked kindly, but he could see the answer written in Gil's glare.

Moving them deftly through the open doorway into an empty lounge, Gil muttered his thanks.

Seeing as the orderly was suspicious of his motives, Grissom decided to play the sympathy card.

Reaching up to his wounded shoulder, he winced and simply said, "I just need a minute."

Suddenly understanding that he was the reason the older man "needed a minute", the orderly was more than happy to retreat to the safety of the elevator.

Spinning him around so that he was facing out the doorway, the orderly wished him a good day and was glad the doors opened upon pressing the elevator key.

Finally alone, Gil made quick work of setting the wheelchair in motion, albeit slowly, with his good arm.

Moving down the surgical floor hallway, Gil kept a keen eye on the room assignment signs.

Drilled into the side of every door post was a large square with black numbers embossed at the top of the lucite cardholder, the patient name printed neatly behind the acrylic shield.

_624Greg Remas_

_623Sam Saultus_

_622Richard Grant_

Gil was wheeling slowly, his heart racing at the prospect of the imminent reunion with his Sara.

Then his heart stopped as he slowed in front of the partially-opened doorway before him.

_621Sara Stokes_

His head did a double take.

He closed his eyes, breathing deeply to calm his stomach which tried to revolt at seeing those words.

_Stokes._

_Sara Stokes._

_What the hell is going on here?_

Gil's eyes zoomed downward at his now outstretched hands.

_My wedding band is – gone!_

A bit disoriented, Gil started to pad down his body as if he were wearing a suit.

His blood pressure fell so quickly, he was sure he was ready to pass out.

_We _were_ married._

_My ring is gone!._

_Her name is Stokes?_

_NO, dammit!_

_She is _mine_!_

_Sara is _my_ wife!_

_WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE?_

His lips were pale and a soft sheen of perspiration covered his contorted brow.

But Gil shrugged off the feelings that threatened to make him faint away.

He had come so far.

He had finally figured out what to do about _this_.

He wasn't going to give up now.

Rearing back a bit on the right side wheel, Gil put all his waning effort into one last forward motion.

Propelling himself forward, Gil used his feet as a battering ram as he came in contact with the door.

Finding little resistance, the door slammed loudly back against the restraining wall as he rolled in like a charioteer before a throng of coliseum spectators.

Using his feet to deflect the impending collision, Sara's bed, now in upright position, shook slightly as the stunned occupant raised her tear-streaked glance from the physician seated at her bedside.

The doctor sat in silence, eyes darting professionally between the two faces that held each other fast.

Neither said a word, but the look that passed between them held joy, relief, worry, surrender, hope, and – the doctor noted especially in Sara's sudden change of posture – _sadness_.

The seconds ticked as the silence loomed, helped by the raised hand of the silent physician which was shooing away the two floor nurses who came to investigate the loud bang of the door opening, while requesting them to shut the offending item as they withdrew.

Sara slumped back against her pillows, her pale face looking downcast as she refused to return his heated gaze.

Gil's mouth opened and closed, a sight Sara was used to, but new to this psychologist.

Continuing to sit stock still, the doctor moved only her eyes as she volleyed from one to the other of these enigmatic personas before her.

In this two-minute drama that was unfolding before her, Dr. Monica Eastman learned more about Sara than the ten previous minutes of her patient's reticence had revealed.

Like a flutter of a hummingbird's wing, the sound was so soft, Monica's heart pained at its emotion: "_Sara…"_

Shaking her head slowly, both people reflexively tilting their heads to view her failing struggle for composure, Monica closed her eyes to remain objective as her emotions swelled upon hearing the pain in her response: "_Oh, Gil…"_


	59. Chapter 59

A/N: Special shout out to one of my personal favorite authors, RubixCSIpuzzle, for being the one thousandth reviewer for this story…it is quite an honor for me that so many of you have left comments for this story, and I thank all those who have been so wonderful to leave their reviews…in light of this feat, I was spurred to write an additional chapter tonight as I find myself with a rare night home alone…all mistakes are mine, I'll reread and fix them soon…these two just won't leave me alone, and I am pleased to find their story moving forward a bit more in each chapter…KateriBear, just a heads-up, as a parent this story caused many a tear…thanks again for all the terrific reader support and review encouragement…another chapter as a grateful THANK YOU for all who continue to support this story…more as soon as possible….-Kathy

--

She sat unfocused in the dim light of the office illumined solely by a gooseneck lamp.

_Nick._

_Dead._

Sofia shook her head, unable to process the horrific news.

She sat remembering his laugh, his sparkling eyes, his touch…

A tear splashed over her cheeks, the herald of many that followed.

Staring ahead, Sofia stared at Ecklie's empty chair. He was doing a surprisingly good job of stepping up to the plate as supervisor during this lab's crisis.

He had met Sofia in the corridor, immediately recognizing that she now knew the reason for the hallway blockade.

In a moment of compassion, he had steered her out of the mainstream and into his office, plopping down distractedly onto his desk blotter the file he had carried from the morgue.

They had exchanged some pleasantries, Sofia noting that Conrad was really trying to wrap his head around the ramifications of what had occurred.

_But what had happened?_

_Nick was dead._

_But…what about Sara?_

Anger surfaced deep within Sofia.

_Do NOT tell me that little bitch walked away from this…_

Now standing, Sofia boldly moved around Conrad's desk to flip open the paperwork he had retrieved from the day shift coroner.

As her expert's eyes scanned the sheets, her breath choked in her chest as she read the words:

_Cause of Death: gunshot wound to the rear skull_

Sofia's fingers ran across her lips parted in a shocked expression, stilling as she read the words that stirred the fires of retribution in her soul:

_Next of kin: Wife – Sara Sidle Stokes_

Trashing the file across his desk, Sofia stalked out of the office, not stopping until she was in the lab's parking lot.

Nearing her car, Sofia pulled out her cell and dialed furiously, supporting her phone under her chin as she fished out the keys to her sportscar.

The key fob clicked to allow her entrance just as the phone connected her with the only person who could tell her where the object of her revenge was currently located.

"_Hey…Brass?...it's Sofia…"_

_--_

After Gil had been taken by to his room by a very annoyed orderly, the doctor tried a new track.

"So…I take it _he_ is not the baby's father?" Monica inquired, getting her first full-faced stare from Sara.

The patient remained quiet, after a while shaking her head softly.

"He loves you."

It was not a judgment, spoken more as a fact.

This time, Sara's head nodded in a slightly faster response.

"And you love him."

Her body's only response to this direct question was to begin to shake, the tremors refusing to be stilled although Sara hugged her arms around herself protectively.

Monica, however, would not be dissuaded from ascertaining the truth.

"You…_do_…love him, though, isn't that correct, Sara?"

Throughout her troubled childhood, Sara had attended many counseling sessions.

She never chose to participate, however.

Sara was used to having the doctors throwing up their hands in exasperation at her silence.

Sara was used to watching as they grabbed their prescription pad and scribbled out a pharmaceutical solution to her "depression".

Sara was used to calling the shots where her therapy was concerned.

Sara was _not_ used to Dr. Monica Eastman.

So when Monica suddenly shot out of her chair and placed both hands over Sara's prone body, staring so intently that Sara gasped aloud, her silence left her as she shocked even herself by admitting, "Yes! I do love him!"

Stepping back, Monica quickly regained her seat, as Sara willed her heartbeat to return to normal.

Vowing to be prepared for this crazy woman's next attack, Sara now kept her eyes glued to the face of this pretty psychologist.

Monica brushed her hands casually over her taupe cotton slacks, as her patient observed for the first time she was not wearing the customary white lab coat.

The more her practiced gaze ran over the woman, the more Sara relaxed as she perceived her to be a non-threatening personality.

_Except for that jumping up thing she does…_

Feeling she had paused enough to allow Sara time to compose herself, Monica leaned her head lightly on one closed fist.

"So…let's start at the beginning…" the doctor started, and Sara inwardly rolled her eyes as if to say _Better men than you have tried…_

She was so involved with fortifying her usual strongholds, that she almost missed the beginning of Monica's next statement, which caused Sara to choke violently in response:

"I am a single mother, with a child born as a result of being raped."

Sara continued to choke slightly, Monica monitoring her crimson tone for signs of real distress, but remaining stock still until her patient had recovered from her initial bombshell.

Leaning back against the pillow, Sara turned slightly on her side to ward off the stinging muscular pain around the incision site which had been caused by her coughing fit.

Her total attention was on the calm this woman exuded.

Monica smiled softly, her first indication that she was fully aware of Sara's current medical condition.

Continuing in a much more personal tone, Monica leaned forward to take one of Sara's hands before speaking.

"It was awful. It was the worst pain of my life. And I'm …I'm not talking about childbirth…"

The two victims looked at each other for a while, just sharing the pain most women were fortunate enough not to experience.

Monica began to slowly, painstakingly describe her ordeal; both women shedding some tears by the end of the short saga.

Clearing her throat, Monica moved her face closer to Sara.

"My fiancé…he was a great guy…he just didn't understand…he couldn't handle it…"

Sara's eyes filled again, _wasn't this her fear about Grissom_?

Monica sensed she had hit the nail squarely on the head, so she went 'for broke'.

"I told him, Sara…it was the hardest thing I ever did…and I watched him walk away…"

Pulling Sara's chin upwards to face her, Monica locked eyes with Sara as she finished speaking:

"…but I let _him_ make that choice…"

Sara was shaking now, trying to hug herself tightly but receiving no consolation.

Her eyes flitted back to Monica as the doctor was now moving Sara's hair from her face, stroking her hair slowly in a comforting motion.

"Why not rest, now, Sara, hmm? Just think about what I've said. We can talk some more tomorrow."

Pausing at the edge of Sara's bed, Monica smiled and added, "Of course, that's if it's okay with you, Sara."

She surprised herself as she spoke softly, "And…if I say no?..."

Monica returned to her original spot near Sara's head, taking her hand gently while hiding her concern over Sara's shuddering.

"Sara – Daniel and Cynthia were there for me throughout my ordeal. I couldn't have made it through the pregnancy without them.  
They want to be there for you, too. That's why they asked me to come and speak with you.

I think they understand that what you need is not a shrink, but support from a fellow survivor."

Pausing again, her eyes never left Sara's as she waited before leaning in to emphatically make her point.

"But, you've had enough of people ignoring you when you "say no!", " the doctor finished.

Leaning back and pulling herself upwards, Monica smiled at Sara giving her hand a final squeeze.

"I've done what _they _wanted. Now, I will wait until you decide what _you_ want, Sara."

With that, Monica smiled and turned slowly towards the door.

Opening it quietly, the doctor sighed inwardly as she began to worry if she had been any help at all to this hurting soul.

She was almost through the threshold before a small, panicked voice from behind her squeaked out, "Tomorrow?"

Closing her eyes in grateful prayer, Monica plastered a small smile on her face as she turned to look into Sara's frightened eyes.

"First thing. Have better dreams, Sara."

And with that she was gone, leaving Sara to stare thoughtfully at the empty doorway while the sounds of life filtered into the silence of her room from the bustling hospital hallways.

--

Logan, Daniel, and Brass sat around the conference room table.

The detective was having trouble processing the entire chain of events, as he stared angrily at the contents of the white envelope that were displayed on the table before him.

"Again – and slowly," Jim insisted, but was just cut off by Logan suddenly standing and scooping up the marriage license and rings.

"You heard him correctly, Jim. Somehow Nick coerced her into marrying him, and now he is dead. End of story. Now, if you'll excuse me," the judge said tiredly.

For the first time Daniel began a cursory overview of this elder, not liking what he saw.

Also standing, Daniel placed his hand on Logan's arm as he spoke, "How about a rest, Logan? You could use the couch in my office-"

Logan was already shaking his head.

Smiling wearily, he simply said, "No…just lots to do, you know?...arrangements…"

As if he had just realized it, his head whipped around to Brass worriedly, "What about Lil?"

The detective himself was now aware that Logan probably had gotten little or no sleep since the "incident" at the cabin.

"Take it easy, she's here in Vegas. We put her up at the Bellagio for now, wanted to give her a place to rest before-" Brass' voice trailed off.

"I can get a squad car to take you-"

But the judge just shook his head sadly, "No, thanks…I'm sure I'm the last person Lil wants to be near right now."

Before they could protest, both men stood and watched the older man slump tiredly down the hallway.

They weren't sure where he was heading, but was sure he would not leave the hospital without checking on Sara…

--

A slight figure stood in the opened doorway to room 621.

Pausing to read the name of the lucite shield, well-manicured fingers slid over the name while a sob was choked back though a solitary tear trickled down a powdered cheek.

_Sara Stokes._

_It was all Nicky ever wanted._

_I thought my heart would burst for joy as I saw him carrying his bride towards their honeymoon cabin…_

_The look on his face…_

_That smile…_

_That heartwarming smile…_

_My Nicky…_

_Oh, my god –_

What was she doing here outside of this room?

Lillian shook her head to clear it, pausing to dry her cheeks and inhale deeply.

No matter what she was feeling about the loss of her only son, her beloved child, Lillian Stokes had been forced to reexamine the facts about what had transpired at the cabin.

Always a realist, Lillian had now been forced to admit the painful truth.

Her Nicky had been misguided, cruel, and hurtful to this young woman.

Lil was sure in her mother's heart that Nick never fully realized what he was doing was so injurious to her.

Lil was sure he loved Sara with his whole heart.

Lil was sure somehow he had just become unbalanced, maybe it was the job, maybe it was genetics, maybe it was some type of mental illness.

But Lil had come through her period of soul-searching since leaving that cabin with the certain knowledge that no matter what had transpired, this young woman was not culpable in _any _respect.

She needed to say this to Sara, needed to ask for her forgiveness so she could move on.

Logan certainly wouldn't want her anymore. Lillian sighed inwardly at this knowledge.

_Paybacks are hell_, she thought as she recalled ever shady activity in which she had participated to get what she wanted.

Her shoulders lifted dejectedly.

Now, she would not have the family she worked so hard to procure.

Nor the love of the only man she had ever desired.

Thinking about Logan, Lillian wondered, emotionally detached, exactly how she would continue to exist without him.

_The ranch had been in his family for generations_, she was now recalling the day Nick was born and Grandpa Stokes saying how glad he was to have a male heir to keep it a working ranch.

_No, the ranch is Logan's home. I'm the one who will need to find a place to call home –_ this last part causing a small sob to escape as Lillian wished her heart would just stop beating.

The sound from the doorway elicited the sound of sheets rustling from within as Sara called in confusion, "Lillian?"

The elder Mrs. Stokes froze on the spot. The urge to turn and sprint into oblivion was strong, quelled by the soft sounds of a quivering voice calling, "Oh….Lillian…I'm so sorry…."

Her maternal instinct taking over, Lil flew to Sara's side, hugging her gently as the two women cried over the loss of the heart they had both loved.

They were still sitting there locked in an embrace when Logan appeared at Sara's door, catching himself before he was noticed.

His plan was to wait until Lil left before checking in on Sara.

His wife had been through enough. He wouldn't add to her misery.

Leaning against the corridor wall, he could overhear the conversation that tugged at his heartstrings.

_All that Lillian put her through…all that she endured at the hands of our Nick…and still she can soothe Lillian and reach out to her in this time of need…_

Logan peered cautiously to see the two women holding hands and talking through their tears.

_I couldn't love that little girl more if she were my own…_the judge thought as his head flopped back to find the door sign even with his peripheral gaze.

Turning his head tiredly, Logan smiled sardonically.

_Sara Stokes. Guess she _is_ part of the family now._

Somewhere deep inside of Logan, his fatherly instinct blossomed until he thought he would burst from the realization.

_She _is_ my daughter now. She went through hell, but dammit she _is_ a Stokes now!_

The judge pulled himself off the wall, adrenaline coursing through his veins.

He was the head of this family, and dammit he was going to start acting like it!

Moving to charge into Sara's room, despite Lillian's feelings towards him, Logan's motion was halted at his daughter-in-law's words:

"Lil, I'm sure Logan does not hate you."

_Hate? HER? Where would that ninny of a wife get that idea from?_

He found himself glued to his hiding spot, eavesdropping on what might be the most important conversation of his family's life.

Tears streaming down her face, Lillian began a very abbreviated version of the story:

of Logan's first love coming to the house after they had said their vows,

of seeing Logan at the airport cafeteria the next morning, sure he was going to leave her and run away with Anna,

of arguing with their dearest old friend, who blamed Lillian correctly for stealing Logan away from Anna, never to talk with them from that day,

of the joy of realizing that Logan was not going to abandon her, and how she promised she would be the best wife any man had ever had,

of the fear that one day, Logan would find out that she was not worthy of the trust he had always placed in her…

and of the realization that, with Nick's death, Logan would blame her for any involvement she had in trying to make her son's dream wedding come true.

Logan stood shocked, shaking his head as the information he had just overheard was too much to process.

He stalked away angrily, thinking of his Anna, realizing that Lil was to blame for him losing his first true love.

As he punched the elevator call button a bit too hard, Logan was seething.

Closing his eyes to calm himself, Nick's face came into full view.

"_She's going to be my wife, dad! She's my one true love!"_

Logan's eyes flew open, his heart racing at the memory of one of the many confrontations he had engaged in with an angry Nick.

Leaning against the wall now, the visitors piled out of the elevator and Logan watched as the doors slid closed beside him.

Suddenly immobile, Logan began thinking of that day at the airport when Anna had looked into his eyes for the last time, smiling weakly as she said,

"_This is _her_ chance for a real life, a real family…marriage will make everything fall into place…you'll see!" _as if willing him to believe it would be true.

Logan shook his head to try to clear it, but the action was in vain.

Suddenly before him the judge stood bombarded by the visions-

of Nick being born and Lillian hugging him softly to her breast, her smile wide and her gaze loving as she turned to accept his kiss, telling his wife, "Thank you for our son, Lil.",

of Nick riding a horse around the corral solo for the first time, Logan beaming proudly at his "little cowboy", hugging Lil as she fretted over Nick being "too little yet",

of Nick graduating from high school, using his student council president's address to thank his mom and dad "for the many opportunities in his wonderful life…", and how Logan had placed his arm around his weeping wife,

of Nick preparing to leave for college, getting out of his Mustang to run back up the driveway to fling his arms once more around his parents who were trying hard to be stoic at the loss of their son to the "real world", recalling Nick's final cheerful admonition, "Hey! Remember I love ya- stay safe, and stay together!"

"_Stay safe…and stay together…"_

Logan felt his knees going weak as he stumbled across the hallway to the visitors' lounge.

Looking out at the darkness of yet another Vegas night, the judge sat and stared at the window.

Soon, the darkness created a backdrop that caused Logan to see his reflection as he looked at the window and not through it.

He was slightly surprised at the vision that was reflected back at him.

He saw a rather old man, fairly fit, well dressed – and alone.

Raising his eyes above the shadowy outline he saw nothing but darkness, and imagined what Nick would be saying if he were standing here now.

As in all dreams, his son's smiling face appeared causing this father's smile to broaden at the memory of that room brightening smile.

There was no chastisement, no anger, just the smile Logan suddenly realized had been missing for quite a while

Mentally speaking to his mind's image, Logan spoke directly to Nick, "I'm so sorry, son."

The image shrugged and matter-of-factly shook his head and said, "Dad – you did what you needed to do. It's alright."

Logan was losing his composure, grateful that the room was vacant except for the image in the glass.

"Son-" he gasped quietly, but found he couldn't continue.

"Hey-dad?" The smile continued though the image was fading. ""Hey! Remember I love ya- stay safe, and stay together!"

Logan blinked hard, but was unable to stop the tears.

After several long moments of allowing himself to grieve for the first time, Logan pulled out his handkerchief and dried his eyes and nose.

Guardedly, he glanced again towards the window to see the lights of the Vegas skyline before him.

Nick was gone.

His words would not be forgotten.

Almost sprinting down the hallway, Logan prayed that Lillian would still be there.

He knew the truth now, and although he wondered if his heart would ever really fully come to grips with losing Anna, the wisdom of her final words began to ring through: _Marriage would make everything fall into place…_

Lillian had always loved him, more-he admitted truthfully-than he had ever loved her.

Still, she had created a wonderful home and had given him a loving family.

And now Nick was gone.

They needed each other more than perhaps they ever needed each other before.

_Stay safe…and stay together…_

He didn't want to let Nick down again.

Arriving at Sara's door, he could hear Lillian's voice moving towards him as she backed away from Sara.

"Please, Lil…you don't have to-"

"It's better this way, Sara….for all of you…I…I just wanted to come by and see if you were really going to be alright…" her voice cracked as she paused to regain her voice.

His loud voice from behind startled both women, as Logan came from behind to wrap his arms tightly around Lillian, kissing the top of her head before rasping, "You're not going anywhere, Lil…"

--

"So tell me, Gil, " Monica continued, grateful that Grissom had agreed to talk with her after Sara's session.

"Do you love Sara?"

"Yes," he answered honestly, surprising her with the lack of hesitation.

"How much do you love her?"

Again, no hesitation, "She's my life."

"She married Nick."

"She married me first."

"She is Nick's wife now."

"They may have gotten married, I do not have those facts at my disposal."

"Oh, I've seen the paperwork. It's legal."

"Well, it doesn't change anything," Gil added almost agitated, as Monica could see the strength of his emotion on the matter.

"I'd say it changes a lot of things," Monica challenged.

"Not for me," he sat forward to make his point.

She conceded the round, but needed to be sure of this man's commitment to Sara, knowing firsthand the tumultuous ride the next few months would entail.

"But – what about for Sara?"

At this, Gil did pause.

Monica remained silent, realizing from her earlier observation that this man often needed time to formulate his thoughts into words.

Finally, "I can only speak for myself. I will wait for Sara forever, if she asks me to."

"And if she can't _ask_?"

Realization dawning on the purpose for her questions, Gil sat back sadly and shook his head.

"Doesn't matter what she wants."

Monica made a face, amazed at the bluntness of his man's boldness.

"Doesn't matter," Gil repeated, "I will always love her – whether she wants me or not."

The depth of this man's feelings stirred something inside the doctor, as she shook off a flash of memories of a personal encounter so many years ago…

She was brought back to the present as Gil closed his eyes and breathed out, "But I know she loved once, fully, passionately…I know she can love me again…"

Monica needed to be sure.

"Even…even if she will never be the same girl you loved before?"

She was pushing, she knew it, but she had to be sure that this man who was so much older than Sara was not just chasing the fantasy younger woman of his dreams.

"Perhaps, it is _I_ who will never be the same man _she_ loved before," Grissom challenged, before closing his eyes and tenting his fingers anxiously before his lips.

"Look. I-I don't know what you're looking for from me. So I'll make it simple for you.

I have loved her since I met her.

I pushed her away – because I wanted her to have someone better than me.

I almost lost her one day, but I saved her – because I couldn't imagine life without her in it.

I confessed my love to her one day – because I needed her to know that in this whole world there was one person who loved her just they way she is.

And I will be there for her – because Sara is the only woman I will ever love."

"How much do you love her?"

He merely glanced at the doctor tiredly, his shoulder hurting from the activities of the day.

"Do you love her enough to …stay away if she needed you to?"

The thought made Gil anxious. _What was this doctor getting at? What was happening to Sara?_

"I will do whatever it takes to help Sara get her life back. If that means I need to step away for a while, I will."

Leaning forward slightly to make his point, Gil concluded, "But I am not ever going to abandon her. Just so we are very clear on that topic."

"Crystal," Monica spoke quietly, internally cheering for finding the one key that would open the door to Sara's future happiness…

--

Sara watched as Logan continued to hold Lil's hand tightly, as he brushed his fingers lovingly over her own shivering hand clenching the blanket higher as sleep threatened to claim her.

Not wanting to endure another nightmare, Sara fought to keep her eyes opened and was startled by Logan's hand gripping hers tightly.

"It's alright, darlin'. Try to sleep. We'll be right here, won't we, Lil?" Logan spoke, turning to Lil to encourage her response.

"Sara…we'll be right here," she spoke as loudly as her emotions would allow.

As Sara closed her eyes, Logan spoke softly, "You'll stay safe. We'll stay together."

Lillian whipped her watery gaze towards Logan, recognizing the memory that had spurred her decision to visit Sara earlier in the evening.

For a moment, the parents just stared at each other before Logan pulled Lil towards him and she collapsed into his chest, sobbing quietly for fear of awakening Sara.

With Lillian clutched close to his heart, Logan whispered to Sara, "Just rest, darlin'. Think of all the people who love you. We're here for you, honey. Just rest. Think happy thoughts. Have sweet dreams, Sara…sweet dreams…sweet dreams.."

As Sara drifted off to sleep, Gil's smiling face appeared before her, stepping out of the darkness that surrounded her.

Moving backwards into the light, he smiled and offered her his hand.

Silently, he continued moving into the light and warmth of day, offering her a way of out the cold darkness where she was standing.

His smile never wavered, just beckoning her with a loving gaze and his outstretched hand.

Suddenly scared of the darkness around her, Sara moved forward in leap of faith as she felt herself safe in his arms as Gil swung her happily in the swell of joy that surrounded her.

In her dream, she buried herself against his neck as she whispered happily, "Oh, Gil…"


	60. Chapter 60

A/N: another set of 7 day work weeks…sorry for the delay…we are moving ahead…in their usual "one step forwards, two steps back" routine we have come to expect…thanks for all the reader support and wonderful reviews…you remain so terrific…more as soon as possible…all mistakes are mine, posting late night so no time to reread… -Kathy

--

His touch was featherlike, as soft as the beating of a butterfly's wings.

Having laid in his bed following Monica's visit, Gil could not find a comfortable position to rest his aching shoulder.

Or his aching heart.

In the semi-darkness of his private room, he shook his head in an attempt to dismiss his memories of Sara's face as he wheeled into her room a few hours ago.

At first sight, he had wanted to leap up and pull her close to him, a move designed to protect her from any more pain and to heal the ache of his empty arms.

Her immediate reaction stopped him, however, from any movement at all.

To be honest, his heart had stopped when she just seemed to stop breathing. He had hoped that was just her body's reaction to the surprise of seeing him unexpectedly.

But when she failed to register the smallest of smiles, he remembered his anxiety had peaked.

Watching her seek solace from the stranger in the next chair, Gil had been so flustered that when Monica had pressed the nurse's call button he couldn't muster as much as a whimper in protest.

The night now moved forward into a new day, and Gil could stand it no more.

He had become determined not to let this hospital's staff or any new physician stop him from being with Sara.

Boldly walking, albeit a bit slowly, down the corridor from his hospital room, the night hours had busied the staff to such an extent that he had walked undetected towards the stairwell.

Finding a similar reception on Sara's floor, Gil made his way towards Sara's room at once excited about spending some time alone with her and worried about her reaction to his visit.

Once inside the room, he just stood there gazing upon her as she slept.

Taking up residence in the padded seat in a darkened corner of the room, initially Gil had just sat and surveyed the scene before him – unhappy with what he was seeing.

His investigative skills found her restless, her brows knitted, her hands occasionally flexing as if she were pushing something – or someone – away.

His anger boiled as his memories flashbacked before his eyes.

_There was Nick's threatening demeanor._

_And Sara's impassioned pleas for his safety._

_My safety…at what costs, Sara?_

But all his thoughts suddenly cleared as he heard the beginnings of another nightmare sound from the depths of her anguish.

Moving as swiftly as he could, Gil had moved to sit next to her as she slept.

In a soft, guttural sound spoken in a singsong rhythm, he continued to soothe repeatedly in the softest whisper, "Sa-ra…it's alright…you're safe…I love you…."

Though his initial speech was not heard over the din of her moaning, it didn't take long for her subconscious to hear the lifeline being tossed and for her weary soul to grasp it quickly.

Now, he sat without speaking, running his hand ever so gently over the sheet that covered her arm.

The lightest of touches…he just needed to feel her…hold onto to something to take away the pain of their shattered dream.

At first, his face showed his shock but quickly morphed into a sad smirk as he heard Sara's whispered, "Gil?"

He pulled back his hand, worried he had awakened her from her much needed sleep, but more concerned about his reception when she realized he was there in her room.

His concern was unfounded, as he quickly realized she was speaking from somewhere this side of a dream.

Leaning forward, his hand hovered over her brown locks, burning to smooth them and soothe her anxiety.

Pulling his hand back sadly, he decided to forego the pleasure he longed for and simply whispered, "I'm here, honey…I'm always here for you…shhh…sleep now…"

With a sigh that another person might describe as contented, Sara nodded slightly before once again becoming entrenched in her dreams.

Sara slept and Gil continued to stroke her arm ever so gently as he whispered his loving endearments to the woman of his dreams.

In the shadows just outside the door, a tall figure stood silently and watched the scene unfold before him, concern etched deeply on his tired countenance…

--

The change of shift in the hospital signaled increased traffic both for parking lanes outside and the main lobby inside the multistory facility.

Monica stood patiently as staff and outpatients queued up for the elevators.

Finally squeezing into the last available spot, she faced forward watching the polished chrome doors slide closed before her.

From behind, some night staff were returning from their last jaunt to medical records in the basement before ending their shift.

Monica was glad her presence was obscured from the two RN's as they chatted cryptically about the "Houdini patient" on Dr. Craig's rounds. Without even knowing the entire story, Monica was sure she recognized their description.

Piecing together the details, she sighed softly. Yes, Gil Grissom was going to be as good as his word. He had not intention of abandoning Sara.

And that was going to work out very well for Sara.

Leaving the elevator feeling very contented that today was going to be a great day, Monica's jovial attitude nosedived as she saw the tall Texan apparently eavesdropping unnoticed outside Sara's room.

Logan jumped slightly as Monica's hand grazed his forearm.

Motioning him with her crooked pointer finger, she led him to the visitor's area.

Her practice calm belied her 'anxiety radar' as she slipped effortlessly onto the thinly padded leather sofa.

Logan looked a bit sheepish, as if he were a young boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Although she wanted to scream _just what do you think you were doing?_, Monica donned her best counselor demeanor and held Logan's gaze without speaking.

Finally, Logan offered the explanation that ripped at Monica's composure.

"I-(sigh)- I was just watching over her, waiting for her to wake up."

When Monica made no reply, he continued, "At 10 o'clock this morning, Lil and I are going with Doc Robbins…to take…Nick….his body…"

The father struggled a bit to compose himself before finishing, "He wanted to be cremated."

Monica lowered her gaze, nodding sadly in understanding. Her eyes flicked upwards sharply however, when Logan added, "And I wanted to discuss with Sara her decision about the final disposition of the remains."

"_Excuse me?"_ the psychologist intoned, unbelieving that Logan could possibly be thinking about involving Sara in anything to do with Nick's burial.

"Sara…she is legally Nick's wife…the decisions are hers," Logan responded getting more agitated as he answered.

"I really don't think this is any of your business, doctor, " Logan sneered uncharacteristically as he stood and headed towards the door.

But Monica was quick to block his exit.

"Not only is it very much my business," she said pointedly as she moved forward forcing Logan to retreat back to his original position, "but Sara is my patient and I do not believe it is in her best interests at this time to be burdened with the details of burying her kidnapper!"

Fuming, Logan stood and glowered down at the source of his agitation.

"Sara is family now. I think I will decide what's best for her!"

As he moved away down the hall towards Sara's door, the doctor moved swiftly to catch up with him.

Monica snagged Logan's arm handily which forced him to face her.

"Sara doesn't need this right now. She is dealing with many issues related to her kidnapping -" Monica paused to remind herself that Nick's father was handling that little detail badly.

Backpedaling a bit, she tried to soften her tone without diminishing the importance of her message.

"I just don't feel Sara needs to be emotionally pulled in another direction right now."

Logan's shoulders stiffened.

"Then perhaps you should be making your little speech to Doctor Grissom, also."

"A little speech about what?" boomed a voice behind them.

Both parties wheeled around to find an angry Grissom lingering in Sara's doorway.

"About keeping away from Sara until we have had time to take her back to the ranch to recuperate!" Logan spit out emotionally at Gil.

"In case you have forgotten, Logan, _Sara. Is. My. Wife_.!" Gil almost yelled as Logan moved to close the distance between him.

Slamming his hand across the Lucite room assignment board, the judge snapped, "Stokes! She is a STOKES now, Gil. And I intend to take very good care of her!"

Meanwhile, inside the room, Sara was being stirred from a deep sleep by the change in volume nearby her door.

"That sham of a marriage was carried out under duress and you _know_ it! Once Sara is healed, I am going to take her far away from Vegas, from the memories of Nick, and from _your whole damned family!"_ Gil spoke through gritted teeth.

Logan looked as if he were ready to physically sock Grissom on the chin. Instead, he wielded a blow much more devastating.

"Oh? Going to redo your wedding vows somewhere even _more_ obscure, Gil? Hell, maybe next time, you can rent a closet so the whole world can be kept away!

What were you afraid of, Gil? That if you didn't hurry and marry the girl she might change her mind? Or were you too ashamed to have anyone see that she was marrying someone almost old enough to be her father?"

Gil reeled a bit as if he had been sucker punched.

The problem with responding to arguments such as Logan had proffered is that they always contain a smattering of truthful details.

Indeed, he had "spirited" Sara away – but that was with help, and that was to protect her from Nick. Wasn't it?

Indeed, he had "hurried" Sara into marriage – but that was because they had already waited so long, he didn't want to wait another day. Wasn't it?

Indeed, he had "secretly" married Sara – but that was his desire to make the event intimate and memorable. Wasn't it?

Indeed, he was "almost old enough" to be her father – but their love was timeless and age was a state of mind. Wasn't it?

Monica worried as she saw all these fears flash across Gil's silent face.

Logan smirked and simply goaded him, "I thought so."

Moving towards the door, he walked around Gil to enter the room only to find himself bodily blocked by a determined entomologist.

Now turned to face Gil who was moved forward until they were both framed in the doorway, Logan looked condescendingly down upon Grissom whose back was to the woman everyone thought was still asleep.

"I should never have married her like that."

The words hung in the air as Monica bristled. Turning her glance slightly away from the two men posturing in the doorway, her eyes fell on Sara just as her patient turned her head into the pillow.

Moving past both men, practically forcing her way into the room, Gil grabbed Monica by the arm admonishing her, "Quiet! She needs her sleep."

Finding her chance, Monica placed her finger to her lips and moved into the room, quietly shutting the door behind her.

Placing herself softly on the seat near the bed, she thought about speaking but instead quietly took Sara's hand in her own.

After a few minutes, she was buoyed by the feel of Sara's hand gripping hers tightly in return.

They sat this way for a long time, Monica sadly watching the silent shaking of Sara's shoulders, wondering when the players in this drama were going to finally get their act together when it concerned this woman.

--

Gil continued his nightly visits, Sara staying totally unaware of the calming effect his protective stance had over the nightmares that threatened to haunt her.

Logan continued to make arrangements for Sara to return with them to the ranch, having already instructed Jeremy and Emma Anne to completely empty and redecorate Nick's room for Sara's personal use.

Lil was regaining some of her earlier disposition, visiting Sara briefly each day and chatting on and on about the great plans she had for the time she could take Sara "home".

Monica continued to monitor Sara daily, displeased greatly that she refused to discuss the issue of the Stokes' plans for her release.

Sara kept mute about her feeling of betrayal, misunderstanding Gil's statement to mean that he really regretting marrying her.

In a rare afternoon hour without any companions, Sara finally let the tears fall.

_I'm damaged goods._

_I don't blame him…really…it's too much to ask him to live with…._

_Someone damaged…with another man's baby growing inside me…._

_But I miss him…with every beat of my heart…._

_I'll never forget the short time I was Mrs. Gil Grissom…._

_It's the one good memory I will be able to keep with me in the lonely days away…._

_I feel so alone…_

_So alone…_

Sara was so lost in her musings that Daniel and Cynthia had slipped into Sara's room without her noticing.

Daniel immediately moved forward and pulled Sara into a totally unprofessional hug – which in truth turned out to be the right medicine for what was ailing her.

Cynthia moved to sit on the edge of Sara's bed, clutching her hand silently. Her mind flew to a time and place a few years back when they had sat on Monica's bed in similar stances.

"What's wrong?" A team of voices insisted from the open doorway.

Cynthia glanced at the concern written on Gil and Logan's faces, their hearts united over the need to protect Sara – yet their body language relating their struggling for superiority in her care.

Turning her eyes to Daniel, she relaxed when he scoffed at them as he kept his eyes glued to Sara's.

"Nothing…we were just congratulating Sara on being able to be discharged tomorrow!"

At this the two men in the doorway moved as one closer to the bed, Sara gasped in surprise, and Cynthia braced herself for the confrontation brewing before her.

"Of course, Sara…you'll need some help for a while-" Daniel began but was drowned out by the expected protests of the visitors.

"She'll stay with Lil and I …at the ranch…" Logan began but was interrupted by Gil.

"Sara should come to the townhouse with me…my shoulder's well enough that I can manage to care for both of us."

Not wanting to be alone with either man right now, Sara's confusion was beginning to take its toll on her.

Cynthia noticed the tremor before Daniel felt them. She was about to interject that perhaps it would be better if Sara went home with a nurse such as herself when from the door, a voice spoke authoritatively,

"Sara will be coming home with me."

Everyone stopped to see Monica move forward, her presence making even Daniel retreat from his patient's side as she stood next to Sara's bed.

Cupping Sara's chin gently upwards, she smiled into Sara's teary eyes and softly stated, "If that is what you want, Sara."

Gratefully, Sara nodded before putting her head back onto the pillow. She just couldn't look into the eyes of those two men she had loved – to see how she had disappointed them yet again.

Cynthia had been watching silently, but when she viewed the slump in Sara's shoulders, she recognized that posture from her long months of dealing with Monica's depression after her fiancé left her.

The residual anger from that event spurred Cynthia into action. She stood and practically forced Gil and Logan out of the room. Once outside, she suggested _strongly_ that they refrain from contacting Sara until she requested a visit from them.

Logan stood protesting his right to be at his family member's side, but Gil stood back, recalling his conversation with Monica.

"_Do you love her enough to …stay away if she needed you to?"_

Cynthia was in such an animated conversation with Logan that she did not see Gil walk towards the elevators with resignation in every step.

_She'll be in good hands._

_She needs some space right now._

_She knows I love her, right?_

_She'll come back to me._

_She will._

_She …has to…_

When the elevator doors closed, it signalled the last time Gil would visit Sara until she requested him to come to her.

Sighing almost painfully, Gil returned to his room and prepared to be discharged and go home – without his Sara.

--

The first and second nights at Monica's had been a restless one, Sara being grateful that her host did not require lengthy explanations about her nightmares.\

Instead, she would simply sit in a padded rocking chair in the corner of the room with a small nightstand lamp to illuminate the dreaded darkness.

Whenever Sara woke up with a start, Monica would gently call her name to reorient her to her new temporary surroundings.

Sara would lock gazes for a moment until her heart rate returned to a more normal beat, then curl up under the covers.

On the third night, Sara awoke to find Monica's seat vacant.

Sara gulped hard, rolling to her side to look at the seat in the corner.

She imagined Gil sitting there, as he sometimes had done at the ranch and more recently one night in the hospital – even though he didn't know she was slightly awake.

_He was sorry he married me._

_I can't blame him._

_It's just that I need him…but he'll never understand…_

_I'd rather him stay away, then find out about this baby …and hate me for what I've done…_

_But I need him…_

With that, Sara stole out of bed and sat on the floor before the rocking chair.

She rolled the blanket slightly until it created an impromptu "lap" on the seat. Placing her head gently on it, she moved to rock slowly back and forth, comforting herself in pretending her head rested on his lap.

Monica watched unseen from the partially closed doorway.

After several moments, she saw Sara wipe away a tear as she whispered her confidences and her needs to the nonexistent Grissom.

The doctor's heart broke as she heard Sara whisper a throaty, "Gil…I love you so…"

Setting her jaw, Monica moved back to her own bedroom.

Silently closing the door, she threw off her robe and clicked off her bedstand light.

She plumped her pillows and plopped her head forcefully onto them.

Monica Eastman needed her sleep.

She now knew what needed to be done to help her patient.

With a sigh, she closed her eyes. There was much to be done tomorrow…

Back in her bedroom, the rocking motion had soothed Sara considerably as she lay with her eyes closed imagining she rested on Grissom's lap, almost asleep now as she sighed, "Oh, Gil…"


	61. Chapter 61

A/N: A shorter chapter, but these two continue to move closer to each other, one step at a time…I am glad the reviewers really like this Monica character…she is becoming my favorite…and as far as the reviews on Logan, don't give up on him just yet…the reviews were varied, spirited, and so appreciated…thanks to all the reader support for this story…more as soon as I can…now, back to work for me!...posting on the fly again, so all mistakes are mine…you really are so terrific to hang in through the twists of this story…a few more to come, but more light is coming out of the end of that tunnel…hope this pleases…more as soon as possible… -Kathy

--

Despite the urging to take another week before returning to work, one day at home had convinced Gil that without the structure of a work shift he would not find sufficient distractions from his worry over Sara.

This is how Gil found himself pushing in the door to his office.

It struck him immediately that this room was no longer the peaceful haven it had always been.

Instead, as he sat behind his desk, Gil could only fight with the images that bombarded him as he looked in every direction…

_Sara standing in the doorway waiting to catch his eye before she said good night…_

_Sara sitting across from him in the chair to the right, leaning forward excitedly as she filled him in on a new lead…_

_Sara resting against the arm of the couch as she ended the early hours of a double…_

Sighing aloud, he no sooner had moved his cell phone from his blotter to his desk drawer, and picked up his mail than a knock at the door startled him with its volume and its owner.

"May I come in?" Monica asked, moving as if she had every intention of doing so anyway.

Gil's heart sank. Leaning forward as his forearms pressed into the desk, he asked quickly, "Is Sara alright?"

Monica sat and smiled at his impatience.

Nodding slightly, she answered, "As well as can be expected. But I'm here to talk about improving upon that."

Gil sat back, bewildered as to the direction of this conversation.

He was shocked as he heard her continue.

"I believe that Sara needs to return to work."

Knowing she had Gil's total attention, she continued in a softer tone, "She needs to be closer to you."

Gil's eyes flashed with emotion, but he remained stoic.

Monica smiled.

"Sara needs the comfort of this little family you have forged here. She needs to be able to focus on something other than the events of the last few weeks."

Leaning forward again, she continued to make her point.

"Sara needs to be near you, Gil. She is battling so many worries right now…"

The look on his face told Monica she may have said a bit too much. This man was a master investigator and it wouldn't take much for him to start connecting the dots…

"You are her supervisor. I am sure that you would be able to find something for her to do here, something that would make her feel a bit…valuable…again-"

"Sara is very valuable to the lab!" Gil broke in, wincing as he recalled saying almost those exact sentiments when she threatened to leave the lab all those years ago.

Playing to his admission, Monica interjected logically, "Then, you should have no problem allowing her to return to work for tomorrow's shift."

Gil opened, and then closed, his mouth, trying in vain to come up with an argument to counter Monica's demand.

Knowing when to leave with the upper hand, Monica stood and smiled. "I'm expecting you to take care of this, Gil. For tomorrow night's shift, if at all possible."

Moving to leave the office, Monica stood in the doorway and turned to look at Gil pointedly.

"It's important for her, Gil. She needs you. I don't know how…but please…make this happen."

Smiling again, Monica strode across the room to leave her business card in plain view.

"Call her at my home phone listed here…Gil –" she paused gaining his attention fully, "it's _important_…"

With that, she took her leave.

Alone for not more than a second, Gil fingered the card gently before tossing it into his shirt pocket as he stood and made his way to his office door.

He needed to see Ecklie…

--

Having returned from the cremation site where he had waited with Lil who had insisted on "not leaving him alone", the couple who had been accompanied by Doc Robbins had finally departed with Nick's ashes in a memorial urn.

Logan winced as he remembered how lovingly Lil had carried the container, placing it with great care on the center of their hotel room's dining table.

Finishing with that task, the enormity of the reality had done her in.

Now she slept quietly with the aid of some of the tranquilizers that Doc Robbins had given her.

Leaving Logan feeling terribly alone…alone with his pained conscience.

_What was I thinking?_

_How could I have said those things?_

_Gil must think I am out of my mind!_

_Such hurtful things…where did those hateful words come from?_

_Gil has never been anything but loving towards Sara…_

_Did I not instigate their reunion and escape?_

_What did I _think _they were going to do once they got to Vegas?_

_It's just…just that…I so wanted to be there, to give "my girl" away…_

He rubbed his hands tiredly over his face.

_I only ever wanted her to feel loved._

_And I do love her._

_And I know that Gil loves her, too._

_But all I could think about back there was that Sara needed to go "home" to recuperate._

_I wanted her to know she always will have a home with us on the ranch._

_Knowing what I read about her childhood, her father…mother…_

_How could they subject a child to that abuse? To that horror?_

_I swore if Nick married her that I would do everything I could to protect her…_

He shook his head dejectedly, feeling again as if he had failed his family. His need to protect was so strong, yet he failed to shield Sara from Nick's torment…and now his only son was dead – dead at his own hands…

After a moment, Logan's thoughts continued to ramble.

_But Nick was perhaps more hurtful to her than any of the horrors of the past._

_And today, at the hospital, all I could see was that Sara was a Stokes now…truly one of the family…_

_I just want what's best for her._

_I need to phone Gil…hope he can understand that I never meant to hurt him…_

_I just want what's best for Sara…._

_I don't really want them to be apart…but I also don't really understand why Sara isn't wanting to be with him right now…_

_Something is not right here…not right…_

The more Logan thought about Sara's decision to go home with Monica, the more curious he became as to what refuge that irritating psychologist could offer that neither Gil nor he and Lil could.

Raking his opened hand over his face tiredly, Logan stood and walked away from the bed – knowing sleep would not come readily tonight.

Instead, he found his cell phone and dialed the number for his lead law clerk.

"Stefan? Yes…thank you, son…actually there is something…do you have pen and paper handy?...okay…I need a background check on a Dr. Monica Eastman…"

--

In Ecklie's office, Gil was seated across from Sofia who had already been in discussion with Conrad when Grissom arrived.

Sofia was now in full form with the attention of two conquests riveted on her.

Explaining simply that he wanted to place Sara back at work as soon as possible, to relieve the shortage on the night shift as well as to ease the CSI slowly back into the mainstream of the night shift.

Ecklie hemmed and hawed, mostly for show because he knew that – despite the situation – Sara always gave one hundred and ten percent to the job…and the night lab was overwhelmed since Gil and Sara's accident.

He just wanted to rake Gil over the coals a bit, wondering how to twist the knife a bit deeper before finally giving in.

For one thing, Conrad refused to refer to the object of their discussion as "Sidle", choosing again to speak the name "Stokes" as often as possible without making it look forced.

Secondly, he continued to observe Sofia's coquettish moves on an uninterested Grissom, causing an idea to spawn that delighted him in its simplicity.

"Alright, Gil…after all, you rarely request something so major…tell Stokes she can return to work – but only if she can do a complete shift…_and_ only if she agrees that Sofia will be her partner…"

Gil stood to protest, but Ecklie swiveled in his chair with hands pressed open and upwards.

"Final offer, Gil. Sofia can be transferred from swing to graveyard, and can report to me objectively if she feels Stoke's condition hampers her from getting the job done."

This last part Conrad added as another jab at Grissom. He knew a large part of the graveyard shift's success was due to Sara's exacting attention to detail.

Sofia bristled internally.

_Great! I get to babysit the little wounded princess! _

_Well, Conrad wants me take care of her? _

_You can bet your lovely bottoms I will be taking _good_ care of her!_

Looking at Gil, Sofia smiled and placed her hand on his forearm.

"Anything that I can do for her, Gil. You know that, right?"

Gil stood without a word, effectively fluffing off her grip unapologetically.

"I'll…call Sara, then…" Gil replied, moving to leave this den of vipers before facing talking to Sara for the first time in three days.

Sofia sat back looking very satisfied with herself, as she spotted the change in Conrad's eyes as they looked upon her.

Sitting forward teasingly, Sofia spoke softly saying, "Looks like it is going to be a _long_ week ahead."

As Conrad stood from behind his desk, Sofia smiled at the realization of the opportunities that were being given her tonight to get Sara out of the picture _once and for all_.

_A very long week…but sometimes "long" can be very, very good…_

_--_

He held the phone in his hand, poised his finger over the SEND button, and froze.

_What if she doesn't want to talk to me?_

_I don't understand…I was so sure we'd be back together by now…_

_Has Sara changed her mind about us?_

_Why won't she let me comfort her?_

_Why do I get the feeling there's something she's not telling me?_

_What were the "worries" that Monica revealed before changing the subject quickly?_

_Is something wrong that Sara doesn't want me to know about?_

_At first, I didn't want her back her to work yet._

_Damn office grapevine will have a field day…_

_Still, I'll be able to see her, talk to her, watch over her…_

_No, I'll be glad to have her back here in the lab where I'll watch out for her…_

_If…If she'll come back…_

Rallying his courage, Gil pressed the button and tried to relax into the comfort of his ergonomically designed desk chair.

The message began, "You've reached 555-7000. Please leave a brief message."

Gil cleared his throat and began to sweat. He never expected not to speak to Sara personally.

Meanwhile, Sara had just turned off the TV in the living room, and was trying to get comfortable enough to doze when the phone rang.

Monica monitored the situation from the hallway unseen by Sara, needing to witness her reaction to the sound of Gil's voice.

"Uh…Sara…this is Gil…" Monica watched as Sara gasped while her fingers flew to her lips in surprise.

"Uh…I was hoping you were there…I guess you are resting at this hour…_of course_ you'd be resting at this hour!"

Gil cursed himself for always being so tongue-tied whenever he tried to tell Sara how he felt.

"I'm glad you are there, honey…really, I think taking some time for yourself right now was the right thing to do for _you_…Monica seems to know the words to say to get you to relax…and you deserve that…"

Monica noticed Sara blinking rapidly, her hand smoothing tears away from her eyelashes.

"I was…uh…ahem…just calling to see if you might be interested in coming back for a day or two this week, you know, to …uh…work in the lab…they really need you here…"

Wincing at those words, Gil quickly added, "_I_…_I _really need you here, Sara."

Totally unplanned, and before he could stop himself, Gil was blurting out his anguish.

"God, Sara…I really need you…I've been so worried about you…I just needed to see you, to know you were alright.

I'm sorry if I startled you that day in the hospital. I know you didn't want to see me, but …I just had to be there.

I _need_ you, Sara…I guess it was a blind hope that…_you_ needed _me_, too…"

The pause was suspenseful, Monica biting at her lower lip when Sara didn't move from her spot on the couch.

_Perhaps I misjudged Sara's signals…I went with my heart instead of my head…I thought she was ready…apparently she is not…_

The doctor's musings were interrupted as Gil's silence was broken by a supervisor obviously struggling to rein in his emotions.

"Uh…ahem…I spoke to Ecklie who has agreed to place you in the lab with Sofia to assist you…and I would make sure you weren't disturbed by any of the nonsense we all know happens here in the lab…"

Having to leave this message was clearly getting to Gil, his final thoughts mere whispers.

"Sara…please come back…if you don't want to deal with me, with our marriage…with anything that has to do with _us_…I..understand-" his voice choked.

Monica stood amazed as Sara swiftly moved to grab the house phone, wincing as her movements were a bit too animated for her healing wounds.

She wanted to tell him she loved him

She wanted to tell him she wanted to be with him.

She wanted to tell him about the baby-

But she wasn't ready for his rejection just yet.

Sara decided to be selfish a bit longer…there'd be plenty of time to face his abandonment later.

Right now…she just needed to keep the melody of his words flowing through to her broken heart.

She wanted to pour out her hurt at his words: _I should never have married her.._.

But more than anything, she wanted him to keep talking. His words were like the balm necessary to heal her aching soul.

She just wanted him to know, unequivocably, that faced with the same crisis, she would protect him with her life.

She loved him.

He needed to know, even if it didn't matter as much as she had fooled herself into believing it did.

Sara moved while she wrestled with these conflicting thoughts and emotions, as if she were too late and he hung up that she really might lose him in her life forever.

Sara could hear the gasp of surprise on the other end of the line as she reached over to grab the phone, letting him know she was there, listening to- no, hanging on - to every word as she clutched the receiver lovingly to her ear, her other hand pressing against her heart.

From the shadows, Monica remained silently praying as she watched as Sara slumped to the floor now in a lonely hearted heap.

Silence connected the two lovers through the distance. Finally, all Sara could force herself to sob into the receiver to the man who would always hold her heart was, "Oh, Gil…"


	62. Chapter 62

A/N: Chalk the delay in posting up to more 7 day weeks, and a midweek storm that knocked out power for two days…the plot thickens as it moves forward…I'm guessing about five or six more chapters, but then again these two tell it in their own time...thanks so much for the reader support and reviews…hope this pleases…more as soon as possible… you people are just terrific… - Kathy

-------------------

On the drive over to Monica's house the next evening, Gil straightened his shoulders repeatedly.

At every stop sign, he rolled his neck to relieve some of the tension.

With the turning of every corner, he cleared his throat in a nervous habit.

His fingers flexed open and then repositioned their grip tightly around the steering wheel as he forced his vehicle to stay within the posted speed limits on the main thoroughfare.

A small sheen of perspiration appeared on his forehead, as Gil first absently clicked on, then hastily shut off, the Denali's cd player once it began to belt out the beginning strains of "Tuxedo Junction", another of Sara's favorite jazz tunes.

_Concentrate on the road,_ Gil admonished himself as he tried to shake off the nervous excitement of tonight's activity.

_She's coming back! Sara's coming back tonight!_

The thought made him smile, but the beeping horn from the next car in line reminded him that he better keep his mind on the changing traffic light and the drive ahead of him.

After what seemed like an eternity, Gil finally maneuvered his vehicle into a parking spot at the curb in front of the townhouse complex.

As anxious as he was to see Sara, he found himself immersed in the memory of last night's telephone conversation…

_Actually, it was more like a monologue._

_Gil had been startled when Sara picked up the receiver, and there had been tense moments as they both sat stunned after realizing they were finally connected to the object of their heart's desire._

_But once he had heard her unsuccessful attempt at stifling her sob, Gil immediately reacted by attempting to reassure and soothe her with his words and inflections._

_Sara had quickly recovered, but seemed more content to sit and listen to his voice rather than to enter into the dialogue._

_Needing her to remain on the line, Gil talked about everything and nothing for over forty minutes – but mostly about how he looked forward to being with her now that she had agreed to return to the lab._

_He promised to be there for her when she needed him._

_He hoped she still did._

_Sara had promised to seek him out if she needed him._

_She knew she always would._

_But Sara had convinced herself that Gil would feel betrayed when he found out she was pregnant, particularly since she had convinced herself that the timing made Nick the likely father of her unborn child._

_So in light of this belief, Sara was steeling herself for their final goodbye._

_She just hoped he wouldn't regret _every_ part of their recent relationship…_

_Sara was so absorbed in her dilemma that it took a moment to realize that Gil was on the other end awaiting an answer to his latest query._

"_I'm…I'm sorry, Gil…I must have missed that…what did you ask?" Sara spoke softly._

_Hearing the faraway sound of her voice, Gil's worry had heightened._

She's so fragile now…this has been a nightmare for her…as much as I need her…need her with me _now_…I can't push her…I _won't_ push her…I can be patient…then, we'll have forever….

"_Sara…honey, I just wanted to know if you wanted me to give you a ride tomorrow…you know, uh, because you really shouldn't be driving yet…it's no trouble…uh…if you-"_

_Sara smiled and took pity on his insecurity. She cut off his rambling, saying softly, "Yes…thank you…"_

_Pleased with himself, Gil smiled broadly and they agreed on a pickup time for the following evening._

_Both parties slept a bit better that night._

But now, Gil's anxiety was rising again. Sighing heavily, he pushed open the door, noting that his grip did not so easily slide from the door handle which he continued to grasp the metal securely.

Bracing himself, he finally forced himself to release the handle.

His steps brought him to the front door of Monica's townhouse.

_Remember the plan:_

_Go slowly._

_Keep smiling and don't forget to breathe._

_Sara needs her space right now._

_Don't overwhelm her._

_She's been through quite an ordeal._

_Be patient._

_She's coming back to the lab tonight._

_That's one major step forward._

_Calm, steady, remain cool and relaxed…_

Gil flexed his fingers once more before ringing the doorbell.

_Calm, steady, remain cool and relaxed…_

He could see movement through the stained glass inlet.

_Calm, steady, remain cool and relaxed…_

He could feel his heart beating faster, his senses coming alive.

_Calm, steady, remain cool and relaxed…_

He could hear the latch being unlocked.

_Calm…steady…remain cool and relaxed…_

The door opened slowly and parted wide enough to admit him without really seeing who had answered the door.

He walked forward through the opening, far enough into the alcove that he could hear the door close behind him.

When he turned around, he found himself face-to-face with the only woman who could ever make him weak in the knees.

In the narrow entryway, they stood for a moment just looking into each other's eyes.

It was right then that Gil Grissom _forgot _the fine points of the plan.

Reaching out his arms to pull her close, Sara instead moved forward on her own and fell into his open embrace.

After a split second, Gil was totally overwhelmed by the feel of her silky softness in his arms, making him feel as if he had come home.

He pulled back slightly and kissed her as if his life depended on it – and in some cosmic realm, perhaps it did…

Their lips' contact was broken by the wide grin he couldn't contain as he realized she was returning his kiss.

Sara's plan had been to gather her things and leave without much ceremony, avoiding a tense, uncomfortable reunion.

Sara's plan had also changed as she stood within inches of the only man who could take her breath away.

The two lovers kept their prize grasped surely within their clinging arms, lips continuing to tangle with a slight increase in both the intensity and volume of their kisses.

In this one perfect moment, there existed no kidnapping, no separation, no injuries, no pain.

In this one perfect moment, Gil felt whole and Sara felt loved.

In this one perfect moment, Sara was creating a memory she hoped would sustain her through the lonely days ahead.

Perhaps their reunion would have taken on an even more physical aspect had the sound of a loud, poorly disguised cough intruded on their thoughts.

Realizing that Monica was now standing in the living room watching them with a mile-wide smile, Sara moved to leave the embrace, but Gil was refusing to allow her to part from him just yet.

His hands soothing her middle back, Gil acknowledged his host with a slight nod. "Hello, Monica."

Sara refused to look at her doctor directly, until she heard the question addressed to her, "So…looks like you _told _him?"

If looks could kill, Sara knew that she might be calling the undertaker for this nosy woman.

Gil's brow furrowed slightly, as he looked from Monica to Sara.

"I think you should…" the doctor encouraged softly, causing Gil to feel Sara stiffen within the comfort offered by his arms.

Without waiting for Sara to respond, Gil was immediately at her defense.

"Anything Sara has to say to me, she will say when _she _feels it is time…she's not a child…"he responded a bit gruffly, not really caring what that look of "surprise" which Monica's face was registering was supposed to mean.

Gil leaned over and kissed Sara's temple softly before returning his glare to Monica.

"We have no secrets."

Monica chortled a bit, while Sara remained ominously quiet. "Sure about that?"

By now, Sara's fear of premature disclosure of her pregnancy was making her tremble slightly which made Gil come completely unglued.

"YES, I am VERY sure. We have NO secrets. If there is something Sara prefers to keep to herself for now, then I support that decision."

His protective grip increased as he spoke.

"She'll tell me when she thinks I need to know. And I will respect that decision, doctor."

Kissing her temple again, he swayed Sara's body into his slightly as he concluded tritely, "And I would suggest you do the same."

With that, he turned his attention away from the source of his irritation, and spoke gently to Sara: "Ready to go, honey?"

It took two attempts to get her voice to squeak out, "Yes…I just need another minute. Could you wait for me in the car?"

Realizing she wanted to have a word with Monica in private, Gil smiled and lifted a hand to push a stray hair behind her ear. "I'll wait just outside, okay?"

He squeezed her hands slightly before releasing them.

Sending a warning glare to Monica, he returned his gentler gaze back to Sara as he moved towards the front door.

Concentrating on keeping her hands from trembling as she willed her heart rate to normal, Sara pounced on Monica in quiet, biting tones: "What the _hell_ was that about?"

The doctor sat down, patting the couch cushion beside her until Sara acquiesced, shaking her head as she reluctantly complied, sitting on the edge of the couch.

"Look. I'm sorry if I jumped to conclusions. But you can't blame me!" Monica began, continuing quickly as Sara's posture indicated her irritation.

"I come into a room looking at Romeo kissing Juliet, not being able to see where one ends and one begins…cut me some slack…_that's_ the beginning of makeup sex!"

Sara realized that Monica was serious. She paused to rethink their reunion in terms of what their magnetism meant.

"Listen, Sara…huh, I don't know exactly what the problem is in telling him about the baby…that man – " she motioned to the closed door and the shadowy figure standing outside of it, "that man _loves_ you. Nothing is going to change that."

She surprised Sara by grabbing her hands, forcing her to look deeply into Monica's eyes.

"Trust me on this one, honey…_nothing_…nothing will ever change that. I've been there…" she spoke a bit wistfully.

"_Tell_ him. Tonight. Right now. He deserves to know."

Although she decided to stay the course, warning Monica against a repeat of her indiscretion, Sara would have those words running through her mind for the rest of the evening shift.

"_He deserves to know…"_

Sofia sat in the break room, glancing at the clock and dreading the start of evening shift.

Tonight, she would begin her "babysitting" duties – watching Sara work on evidence in the lab.

Feeling as if she were alone in her ire over this situation, she was soon pleasantly surprised when Conrad Ecklie came sauntering through the door and unceremoniously flung a file folder full of a large stack of papers onto the main table.

"Bad day?" Sofia quipped, moving herself into Conrad's line of vision.

His momentary panic about having a witness to his mini-tirade relaxed as he realized he now had a sympathetic audience.

"These damned CSI's are going to kill me with this paperwork," moaned an exasperated Ecklie.

Slamming open the file, he began to produce exhibits to demonstrate his point.

"Change of name forms. Change of address forms. Beneficiary filing forms. Not to mention having to take Sara's full deposition on the shooting-"

"Well _that_ sure as hell isn't going to happen!" boomed an angry sounding voice exploding into the break room.

Both Ecklie and Sofia had been standing so close together looking at the paperwork that when they twirled around in surprise Conrad had to reach out to grab Sofia before she lost her balance.

"This is quite a picture!" snapped Brass facetiously as he continued his forward movement into the room.

Having seen for himself that Conrad's hold on Sofia was the result of a totally innocent movement, something in the sudden way Ecklie released her and pushed her away sent all the alarm bells ringing in Jim's detective brain.

Filing that information under "needs further review", Brass returned to his original comment.

"Brass – I didn't know you were in the lab tonight!" the nervous lab director spoke.

"I have just returned from Lake Mead an hour ago. I stayed behind a few days to square things away with the locals about the shooting, the FBI about the kidnapping, and the coroner about the paperwork concerning the disposition and release of the body.

I am _sure_ that_ I_ will be able to complete the necessary paperwork here in Vegas as well…without having to subject Sara to a painful deposition."

Sofia noted that Jim looked tired although he tried his best to hide it.

_What was it about Sara that created such loyalty and devotion in these men? Logan, Grissom, Brass, - even Nick – would go to the moon and back for this little tart…_

Her musings caused her to miss the beginning of the knockdown/drag out confrontation brewing before her.

"And I said NO!" Jim replied to whatever it was that Conrad had spoken, taking a menacing step towards the man who now was hiding behind the file he had scooped up into his hand.

"I'm _warning_ you, Con-rad," Jim spoke deliberately so even Ecklie could understand his message, "leave her _alone_!"

Having now moved so that the table was between them, Ecklie regained some of his bravado.

"Fine. Handle the PD paperwork yourself. But this is my lab, Brass. And I _will_ meet with Sara upon her return and get these forms from personnel filled, filed, and signed - or she doesn't return to the lab!"

Feeling as if he had regained control of the moment, Ecklie spun towards Sofia and smiled knowingly.

"Keep your eyes open, Sofia. Let me know if there are any problems when Sara returns to the lab."

Ignoring Brass totally, Ecklie glided out the door leaving an irritated Brass staring at Sofia.

"What's he talking about?"

Sofia smiled smoothly, putting on her mask of "sisterly concern", "Oh, Con-, uh, Ecklie has assigned me to partner up with Sara while she makes her way back into the lab. She'll be handling evidence and running tests and he just thought-"

"He just thought he'd have you _spy_ on her so you can just wait until she screws up, and then turn around and run to him with all the ammunition he needs to finally fire her! Yeah, that sounds like something that sonofabitch would think of!"

Within a heartbeat he stood toe-to-toe with Sofia.

"My _advice_ to you, Sofia, is not to mess with Sara in any way. She has been through enough crap to last her a lifetime, and she doesn't need any more coming from the likes of _you! _Capishe?" Jim ended in his best _Godfather_ accent.

With that, Brass turned and strode out the door towards Gil's office, leaving a fuming Sofia to plot ways she'd love to get back at Jim for speaking to her that way.

After a moment, a small smile appeared as she decided that the one way she would strike at his heart would be to strike down the person he needed most to protect.

And that is how Sofia began the detailed plotting of the many ways to get rid of Sara Sidle…

------------

The Denali moved into Gil's regular spot.

Their ride had been comfortably silent, each understanding the need to psyche themselves for Sara's first steps into the lab since the night before Gil called her out to accompany him, followed by that landslide…

So now they sat as the motor made cooling sounds, Sara reacting to the panic setting in.

Gil noticed her shallow, erratic breathing and managed to grab onto her hands, icy from the tension.

"Hey," he offered quietly, not wanting to startle her.

Placing his pointer finger under her chin, he turned and raised her head to look into his welcoming blue orbs.

"Listen…let's just try, okay?...Sara-" he leaned forward for emphasis.

"If you get settled, and then realize you can't do this, just call me. I'll have you out the door in record time," he smiled to reassure her of his promise.

She shook her head, finally calming enough to interact.

"No…I'm fine-"

"Stop it, Sara!" Gil all but screamed, causing Sara to jerk her head towards him.

"Stop _saying_ that! You're _not_ fine! You have no _reason_ to be _fine_! Hell, _I'm_ not fine!"

Gil closed his eyes and breathed deeply, mentally chastising himself.

_Way to go, Einstein! Why don't you just give the poor girl a slap across the face? It certainly couldn't have done any more harm than screaming at her when she needs you the most!"_

It was then that he felt her soft palm cradling the side of his face.

He opened his eyes, startled to find her small smile staring back at him as she said softly, "What's your heart rate now?"

With that, the tension between them eased, as they recalled the events of the last time she spoke those words..

Gil grasped her hand from his cheek and kissed it softly on the palm as Sara cocked her head to one side and lovingly whispered, "Oh, Gil…"


	63. Chapter 63

A/N: Their story moves forward…this chapter is one of conflicting emotions…made me smile and cringe…thanks for the continued reviews and reader support…more soon as possible…no time to reread, all mistakes are mine…hope this pleases…-Kathy

------------

His reeling senses seemed to recognize the pain as beginning in his jaw and radiating intensely from that point.

He was beginning to recognize another area of pain focused mainly over his left eye.

As Conrad Ecklie reclined limply against the closed door to his office, he barely noticed the mound of paperwork that had cascaded through the air until it loosely covered him like some table confetti at a giant's ball.

Around him, all movement seemed to occur in an indistinct haze of slow motion.

Gaining his bearings slightly, he was slowly becoming aware of voices sharply pinging their warnings from a small mound of bodies scuffling as they moved away from him down glass-lined corridor now brimming with onlookers.

"Grissom! Man, enough!"

"No more! Dammit, Gil, he's not worth it!"

"Let's take him to see Doc about that hand!"

"No! First stop – the Sheriff's office!"

As Ecklie tried to shake off the multicolored lights that hazed his vision, after a moment he realized that as he sat there obviously injured, the corridor had been completely deserted.

Pulling himself painfully to an upright position, he tried to recall the most recent events into the front of his memory…

_He recalled rounding the corner near Judy's office, seeing Gil and Sara just walking past her desk into the building and moving directly to Grissom's office._

_He remembered the ache in his gut as he saw Gil's hand protectively placed on Sara's lower back._

_He could again feel the frustration that burned in his thoughts as he realized that Grissom would once again try to shield Sara from any attempts to show that little insubordinate exactly _who_ was in charge of this lab._

_But what had happened next?_

Conrad pulled himself to his feet, looking at the paperwork strewn across the hallway as if he had to remember where it had come from.

Suddenly, his head whipped around to glare angrily down the hallway towards Gil's office.

Oh. _Yeah_….

_Conrad had decided to lay in wait for Sara, biding his time until he could pounce on her the moment she was away from her new "bodyguard"._

_Standing near the coffeepot in the break room, he clutched the file with the paperwork close to him as he stirred his two sugars into the coffee mug._

_After about five minutes, his prey moved slowly past the large glass windows._

_The predator smiled and emptied his mug into the sink soundlessly._

_In three steps he stood at the doorway, poised until the right time to attack his innocent victim._

_Two more steps and she would be near the locker room door, a scant distance away from his own office door._

_The plan had been simple: intercept her before she entered the safety of the locker room and herd her into his lair where she would remain away from those who might protect her._

_And then…she would be at his mercy…_

_The plan seemed to be intact._

_A few footfalls away from the locker room, Sara's steps were halted by an unusually loud, authoritative voice bellowing,_

"_STOKES!"_

_Sara froze, momentarily overcome with the irrational panic that Nick was somehow, indeed, right behind her._

_Tears sprung to her eyes, and her body began trembling so badly she was sure her knees would give out._

_Smiling at the effect his words had on his victim, Conrad stalked quickly towards her, repeating, "Stokes!"_

_  
Grabbing her arm and spinning her heartlessly, Ecklie continue to abuse his power by grasping Sara's chin in one hand and yanking her head upwards almost violently._

"_It _is…Sara Stokes…_now…isn't it?"_

_He could see Sara becoming faint, the color completely draining from her face._

_Rather than help her, he chuckled softly as he manhandled her upper arm to thrust her forward, joining him in striding past the locker room and up the hallway, propelling her discourteously as he taunted her in an disgusted tone,_

"_Sara Stokes…if our Nicky could only see you now…"_

_That's when Ecklie's world went out of kilter._

_Unbeknownst to him, his bellow had done more than attract Sara's attention._

_Warrick had just been headed to review some trace evidence with Grissom in his office._

_His hand no sooner twisted the doorknob after hearing the invitation to come in, then the ruckus up the hallway garnered both men's attention._

_Flying from his chair, Gil whizzed past Warrick who – having gotten his bearings a moment later – was also in close pursuit._

_Only Gil was close enough to hear Conrad's last derisive remarks, and he flew into a blind rage._

_Ecklie found himself being spun around opposite of Sara's position, causing him to release her suddenly._

_She found herself spinning into Warrick's embrace, and he quickly shuttled her behind the closed doors of the locker room._

_Meanwhile, Conrad's line of vision had not had time to focus on his assailant before a powerful right hook met with his left eye._

_Streams of stars and bursts of pain decorated his brain waves, but his attacker was far from finished._

_On the heels of that blow, Ecklie's body was assailed with another full-bodied punch to his jaw – causing him to slump limply against the door to his office._

_Meanwhile, the second punch had caused his body to lurch violently, causing the heavy file of personnel forms to fly high into the sky._

_They seem to stand in mid-air a moment before releasing themselves softly to litter the area where the lab director was now almost out for the count._

_Yet, the attacks continued._

_Another right hook to the left side of his jaw connect painfully, and Ecklie felt himself being spinelessly yanked up by the collar yet another time before suddenly all the weight stopped pulling on him – causing him to slump limply a second time against the door to the office._

Shaking off the lingering effects of the attack, Conrad fumed now as he bent to retrieve the scattered documents which he fisted into a tight ball before kicking down the door to his office and slamming it angrily behind him.

Furiously touching his painful injuries, Conrad's eyes glared menacingly into the mirror, growling:

"Sara…you are _so_ going to pay for this…"

----------

Sara sat, alone, on the bench in the locker room with her head in her hands.

She was shaking violently, the shock of imagining Nick behind her still making her reel emotionally.

_Get a grip on yourself, Sara! You've got to get a grip._

_He's dead._

_You saw him, felt him…omigod!..._

The flashback to the cabin came crashing down around her as she hugged herself tightly, swaying side to side to comfort herself.

_It happened. It really happened. _

She stared at the closed door of Nick's locker, just a few down from her own.

Feeling as if she might faint, Sara pushed her head to her knees, willing herself to keep it together.

_The baby. This little innocent baby. I have to get calm, I have to protect her, I have to…_

Deep, slow breaths resounded off the walls, echoing Sara's attempts to call upon the internal fortitude that helped her escape the horrors of her childhood.

Still, her eyes were drawn to Nick's locker, as if any moment he would sail through the doorway and light up the room with that smile he used to reserve just for her.

_Nick…Nick, I am so sorry…so sorry…_

Suddenly, Sara was drawn out of her melancholy by the vibrating noise of her cell phone buried in her jacket pocket.

Pulling it out, praying it was Gil telling her he was on his way to her side, Sara's forehead crunched in thought as the display did not record a phone number.

_That's odd, _she thought for a brief moment, _I wonder who would be calling me from a blocked out number?_

Opening the phone, Sara was mute, listening for clues as to the caller's identity.

Her eyes went so wide little white dots began to form before them, her heart began pounding so hard in her chest she thought might faint right there on the spot, her hands began to tremble so badly she thought she'd drop the device right there onto the tile floor.

"_Hey, darlin'…just wanted you to know I've been thinking about you…can't wait until we can be together again…"_

The slow Texas drawl was unmistakably that of Nick Stokes.

Sara tried to stand, needing to escape from this room, this phone call, this _voice…_

Instead, her knees gave way almost immediately, causing Sara to slump to the floor as her cell phone was released from her grasp.

"Sara?"

The CSI looked upwards slowly, every muscle in her body refusing to submit to any of her commands to flee.

Instead, she could only look up slightly, enough to recognize the figure in the closed doorway as she begged for help.

"Sofia-"

But instead of hurrying to her aid, Sofia stood her ground, almost teasingly asking, "Is there something _wrong?"_

Obviously in distress, Sara kept her head lowered, breathing becoming difficult as absolute panic engulfed her.

But Sofia remained motionless.

"Sara? You look like you've just seen a ghost!" the blonde taunted, totally enjoying her companion's discomfort.

Just then, the door to the locker room burst open, almost knocking Sofia against the wall.

Brass took inventory of the situation, almost oblivious to Sofia's presence as he ran to Sara.

"Hey, cookie, here…it's okay…it's okay…we took care of Ecklie...it'll be alright.

C'mon now. Let's get you off the floor and over to Gil's office, huh? C'mon, honey."

As he pulled Sara easily from her spot on the floor, Brass suddenly noticed Sofia coming from the area of the locker room showers.

With a makeshift cloth of paper towels heavily moistened with cool water, she acted so earnestly in worry as she made her way over to Jim and Sara.

"Here. Put these on her head. Perhaps she'll feel better."

His worry over Sara causing him to take Sofia at her word, he asked as he continued to move them forward, "Did you see what happened?"

Sofia shook her head sincerely, "No…I was only here a moment before you, and I found her slumped near Nick's locker…"

Those words made Sara react violently, "Jim…Nick-"

"Shhh, Cookie. Don't try to talk now. Let's just go and get you a place to lie down, okay?" he responded soothingly as he led Sara away.

Alone in the locker room, Sofia smiled.

She moved slowly towards the row of lockers and stood before Nick's door.

In a sincere moment, she ran her hand over his door before opening the locker and removing a shirt that Nick had hung up there the last time he had been in this room.

Sofia clutched the shirt to her chest and inhaled deeply. Nick's scent was still on his shirt.

"I'll miss you, tiger," she whispered softly before hanging up the shirt and closing the door gently.

Next she moved to retrieve Sara's cell phone from its resting place beneath the bench.

Grinning evilly, she clicked open both the Inbox and Call History and deleted all the items found there.

_Call, Sara? What call could you be talking about, dear?_ Sofia whispered in mock sympathy.

Placing Sara's phone in the locker marked _Sidle_, Sofia slammed the door handily and moved to make one last stop at her own locker.

There, she retrieved the small leather satchel which had entered the lab almost empty earlier today, but now contained audio tapes of Nick's crime lab reports, some recorded messages from Sofia's answering machine at home, and some phone messages from her private cell phone which she had used the AV lab's equipment to download.

The bag also contained a half dozen prepaid wireless phones from the same evidence box of the street gang where Nick had pilfered the drug samples he used to carry out his kidnapping plan against Sara.

Patting the unobtrusive bag after she slung it over her shoulder as she headed out to her vehicle, Sofia whistled softly.

_This was going to be a great week…_

The Sheriff had listened to Gil's tirade and Warrick's calmer narration of the events leading up to the assault on Ecklie.

Aware of Conrad's campaign against Sara, and Ecklie's well-publicized irritation of the lab's involvement in processing the aftermath of her kidnapping, nonetheless the Sheriff felt at a loss as to how to handle this degenerating situation among his top two lab personnel.

"Gil, you know I can't just let your attack on Conrad go without some consequence-" he began only to be interrupted by a still-steaming Grissom.

"Then accept my immediate resignation."

The words hung in the air; Gil absolutely resolute in his convictions and the Sheriff aware that this man did not make idle threats.

"Gil, relax…no need-"

Again his statement was interrupted by the angry stature of a man now looming menacingly over the mahogany desk to emphasize his words.

"Either Ecklie is kept away from anything dealing with Sara, or we're both gone. Tonight."

Standing a bit more upright, Gil placed both hands on the desk and stated, "Choose well, Rory."

Now, the Sheriff was not one to be railroaded. But he was very good at playing the game of politics.

And he was always astute enough to know when to concede the game.

"Gil…sit down…._please_…" he cajoled, and waited for a moment to see if Gil would allow him to regain control over the conversation.

"Let's rethink things, shall we? Now, if what you both have told me is a factual account of the events in the hallway, it seems Conrad merely called Sara by her married name-"

"She is _not_ Nick's _wife_!"

"Gil, they were married-"

"Under duress!"

"Gil, she _was_ his wife-"

"NO! She is _my_ wife!"

"Well, as I understand the story, there was a problem-"

"A technicality. One we will rectify as soon as Sara is up to it!"

"Still, simply calling her by her legal name-"

Gil was on his feet now.

"It was harassment. Plain and simple. Everyone who heard it, knew it!"

He was on his way to the door before Warrick could stop him.

"I'm done here. Do what you have to."

Leering at the Sheriff over the top of his eyeglasses, Grissom barked, "And I will do what _I _have to."

With that, the door slammed behind him leaving a stunned Sheriff to look into the eyes of a CSI whose body posture mirrored the irritation of the man who had just departed.

With a sigh, the Sheriff picked up the phone and dialed an all-too familiar extension number…

---

Returning to his office, Gil had looked into every lab window searching for signs of Sara.

Whipping out his cell phone, he was just about to place a call to her when he saw lights coming from under his closed office window shades.

In a moment he was standing in the doorway taking in the sight of Sara lying on his couch with a blanket pulled over her, her eyes closed but she obviously awake, with Brass holding her hand.

Turning a worried face towards Gil, he said nothing which caused Grissom's heart to bang painfully in his chest.

Swiftly moving to her side, Brass moved away to allow Gil the space to hover over Sara who immediately opened her eyes, sensing his presence before actually seeing him.

All the worry over her was written in his eyes.

Sara wanted to comfort him, wanted to stop feeling as if she always needed his protection, wanted so badly to get on with their life, wanting so badly for him to never let her go….

But the memory of the pregnancy,

the shock of hearing an impossible new phone call from Nick,

the worry that somehow he wasn't really dead – _after all, she never really did attend his funeral,_

all these things accosted her at once, causing her to reach out and pull Gil into her arms if only for this short time they had left, as she could barely whisper, "Oh, Gil…"


	64. Chapter 64

A/N: The tide is moving slowly forward…hoping to update again soon…off to another Sat. at work…posting on the fly…thanks for the terrific readers and reviewers whose patient support is overwhelming…all mistakes are mine…more soon as I can…hope this pleases…-Kathy

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She had lied to him.

Some part of her knew it was wrong, but it was overruled by the overwhelming need to shield him from any more pain caused on her behalf.

After spending a few moments in Gil's supportive embrace, a change began swirling deep within the very fiber of her being.

It began small, but was growing in intensity.

Sara was becoming weary of playing the role of victim.

As she pushed herself away from Gil, several flashbacks obscured her vision within the blink of an eye…

_Gil's mountain rescue, without him she would surely have perished…_

_Gil's selfless offer to spend her final days as a single woman showing her the depth of his untried, yet unending, love; a lifeline to cling to before she gave herself over to a loveless marriage…_

_Gil's heroic return to the ranch, without him she would not have escaped the lunacy of those prearranged nuptials…_

_Gil's own care filled arrangements for their impromptu wedding, the memories of which kept her focused throughout the harrowing ordeal at Lake Tahoe…_

_Gil's acceptance of her need for personal space now that they were back in Vegas, unknowingly giving her time to deal with this unplanned pregnancy…_

_And now, the aftermath of Gil's explosive response to Ecklie's actions… _

_Gil placing his job and reputation on the line as he came to her defense against that bullying lab director…_

_No! She could not let him suffer any further on her account…_

_No! She was tired of being a "damsel in distress"...surely her current situation was not more heinous than the abuse and neglect she had suffered as a child…_

_No! She needed to pull herself up by her bootstraps and face her current situation head on…alone…without having to rely on Monica, or Gil…or anyone…_

_No, dammit! Nick _was_ dead, and she would not let him continue to impact her life anymore!_

_NO! SHE WOULD NOT BE A VICTIM ANYMORE!_

_NO!_

_NO!_

"No!" Sara spoke as she pushed herself farther away from the arms that sought to console her.

"Sara?" Gil asked a bit tentatively, searching her eyes for a signal that she was verging on an emotional collapse.

She moved back, forcing herself to not crumble and return to his embrace.

"I- uh," she began, pushing an errant curl behind her ear.

Sensing her discomfort, Gil sighed and moved back onto his heels, facing her but giving her some space.

"Sara?" he repeated, with a softer more intimate tone.

"Gil…I have to get to the morgue…I promised Doc I would stop in after I checked in…" Sara spoke convincingly even though she was lying to him.

_I need time alone…he can't be with me…he would just stop me…but I have to do this myself…to protect him…_

Fifteen minutes later, with assurances to take things easy and to meet Gil for coffee when she took a break, Sara now found herself outside the Sheriff's office door.

Steeling herself, she willed the tremors to subside as her hand reached to knock firmly on the frosted glass.

Hearing a call to be admitted, Sara now stood before a rather surprised Sheriff.

Recovering quickly from his shock at seeing his unexpected visitor, he stood and ushered her to a nearby chair and sat across from her, taking in her general appearance with a practiced eye.

_Frail…but as gutsy as I remember…she seems a bit worse for the wear…still, she has been through hell and back…_

His observations were cut short as Sara forcefully stated the reason for her visit.

"Sheriff…I take full responsibility for what happened earlier. In the lab corridor. With Ecklie."

Wondering where she was going with this, the Sheriff remained mute, allowing her time to formulate her next statement.

"I do not want the repercussions to land on Grissom's door. He was only trying to protect me."

The last sentiment brought an unexpected wave of melancholy, and Sara wondered, not for the first time tonight, if things at the lab could ever return to "normal" now.

Her need to defend Gil caused her to rush ahead without fully acknowledging her spiraling emotions.

"Sheriff…Ecklie-"

Sara stopped speaking as her voice cracked under the strain of speaking the name that caused her anger to surface.

She and Ecklie had a disruptive past, and their dislike for one another fueled every confrontation into a blazing conflagration.

Recalling the fear that engulfed her when Ecklie shouted Nick's name, Sara shuddered visibly as she tried to collect herself.

"Gil- …he was-" she fumbled, and inwardly cursed herself as she felt her eyes begin to fill with tears.

Sara dipped her head quickly, causing one tear to jump its eyelash boundary.

The Sheriff had seen enough.

Leaning forward, in an uncharacteristic gesture for the man everyone viewed as callous, the Sheriff reached for Sara's hand.

Raising it a bit to grasp it firmly within his own, he spoke with authority, "That's enough, Sara."

_That's enough?_

_But enough of what?_

_Enough – he doesn't want to hear anymore?…because he's already decided to suspend Gil?_

_FIRE him?_

_NO! I can't let that happen._

Sara removed her hands quickly and sat upright imploring him, "Please…suspend _me_…but leave Gil out of this…I'm-I'm begging you…Sheriff-"

Seeing that she was becoming distraught, the Sheriff steeled his jaw and mentally cursed Ecklie for causing Sara this much angst on the first night back to the lab after surviving her kidnapping.

"Enough, Sara!" he spoke as a father disciplining his child.

Shocked, she continued to focus on him, waiting to defend Gil to the exclusion of all propriety.

"Ecklie has already been told to keep his distance from you and all matters pertaining to your personnel paperwork.

As a matter of fact –" he leaned over towards his desk, grabbing the manila folder with her paperwork in it, "I've decided to take on that job personally."

Sara was speechless.

The Sheriff smiled.

Wanting not to leave any stone unturned, Sara asked quietly, "And Gil?"

The Sheriff sighed.

"I conceded that Ecklie will get the pleasure of including a write up of this little…altercation…in Gil's file. But I was clear that would be the extent of the fallout from this encounter today."

She was about to protest this action by Ecklie, but the Sheriff's calm smile stopped the words from forming.

He reached for Sara's hand again and patted it gently.

"And…I have also decided to write an addendum to that write up after it has been submitted."

With a slight pause, the Sheriff released her hand with an slight squeeze.

"Really…it will be alright."

Sara smiled a genuine smile for the first time since the honeymoon night at the Bellagio.

Turning to more serious matters, the Sheriff then proceeded to open the file and discuss the pile of paperwork that needed to be addressed.

Sara's mind was swimming with the different bits of information with which she was being accosted.

_Change of name forms? Life insurance beneficiary forms? Claim forms? WHAT?_

Shaking her head, her smile morphed into a disgusted frown.

"No…I don't want any of it-" she almost whispered, backing away from the offending documents.

Again, the Sheriff let her absorb the details before pressing forward.

"Sara, the change of name form is a necessary formality. It will be required to claim the benefits, as Nick listed your marriage name in this survivor paperwork."

She shook her head, unbelieving what she was hearing.

"I'm going to _profit _from Nick's _death?"_

The Sheriff was quick to pick up on her ignorance of Nick's actions.

"He made you sole beneficiary on his policies. And…even though…" he paused, needed to phrase this next statement in the most delicate terms,

"uh…his…_death_…occurred within the commission of a crime, Doc Robbins consulted with the medical examiner in filing the death certificate."

Seeing as Sara's breathing was a bit shallower, the Sheriff paused and took her hand in a supportive gesture.

Sara was grateful for the contact, and in a moment raised her eyes to hear the rest of the message.

_Like pulling a bandaid_, he thought as he inhaled and delivered the rest of the message.

"So…due to the overwhelming evidence of Nick's precarious mental state, with this coroner's ruling of diminished mental capacity…you are still entitled to full benefits under the insurance the county carries."

Sara was unbelieving.

She stared at the paperwork the Sheriff helped to guide into her hands.

_$750,000_

"So…_he_ proposes a murder/suicide pact with me…and _I _get his death benefits because he died _first_…" she stated blandly, a disgusted sneer plastered on her face.

Even the Sheriff winced at the way she stated the facts.

Reaching for her unsuccessfully, he tried, "Sara!-" before she was on her feet, albeit a bit painfully from the sudden movement, yet heading towards the door in haste.

Moving swiftly, he stilled her hand on the doorknob and prayed he could say something that would calm her agitation.

"We don't have to do any of this tonight, Sara. Just think things over."

The look she gave him melted his heart, causing him to grieve for the loss of her peace of mind.

Sara turned away from him, attempting to leave again.

Again, the Sheriff pressed his body weight against the door, willing her to look at him.

"He _wanted_ you to have that money Sara…that security…for your _future_.... Nick-" he stopped as she whipped her head towards his at the sound of that name.

The Sheriff now stood looking into the depths of this woman's pain. Softly, he continued.

"Nick _wanted_ you to have it, Sara. He cared enough about you to want to leave you with a little nest egg for _your_ future…no matter what else happened…he did this because he cared for you."

At this, Sara paused.

_A nest egg…for the future._

_The baby will need things._

_I know Nick is the biological father…I can feel it._

_That money…the baby deserves all the things her father can never give her…_

Her mind was reeling as looked directly into the Sheriff's eyes.

"I'll think about it," came her throaty whisper.

With a small smile of encouragement, the Sheriff opened the door for her, but not before he placed a hand lightly on her shoulder.

"I'll be here when you're ready to deal with everything, Sara. Take your time."

Swinging the door open widely, he added, "Please…take care of yourself. Don't overdo it on your first few nights back."

Nodding silently, Sara lowered her head and moved out the door and down the corridor.

Once out of sight, however, she darted through a door leading to a side stairwell, pressed her back against the wall, and slid down until she sat wrapping her arms around herself tightly, rocking back and forth in a comforting motion.

One arm loosened, her hand pressed securely against her abdomen…feeling very alone…

---------

Sofia felt more than heard the door from the parking lot close behind her.

Smiling, she was feeling excited about continuing with the next phase of her plan to rid herself of the specter of Sara once and for all.

Ducking her head into the lab, she scanned the area to see if Sara was there.

Hearing the low strains of a conversation in the direction of Doc's office, Sofia closed the door quietly behind her while keeping her eyes fixed on her goal.

Too bad those eyes hadn't looked behind her.

Doc Robbins, who had just returned a victim to his drawer in the morgue's "cooler" was at that moment positioned behind the just-opened door.

He stood silently, understanding Sofia's actions instantly as he remained silent, a frown etched deeply in his forehead.

Sofia was now almost at his office door, like a cat about to pounce.

Only this time, the mouse was about to do the pouncing.

"Anything I can help you with, Sofia?" Doc intoned loudly, smirking as he observed Sofia's body react to the surprise sound.

"Doc!...uh…I …uh…thought," Sofia stammered as her heart pounded in her chest.

"Looking for something?" the coroner asked again, closing the distance quickly.

Before she had time to raise her shields, Sofia answered quickly, "I thought Sara-"

That raised the ire of the older gentleman, who puffed, "You thought Sara was in my office speaking so you decided to _eavesdrop_ on her? Is _that_ it?"

Sofia remained mute.

_What just happened here?_

Doc quickly moved around her and disappeared through the semi-opened door through which a second later there came a louder version of the sound Sofia had been straining to hear:

"So stay tuned. This is CNN Headline News…"

Sofia's eyes closed briefly.

Doc had his small TV set playing in his empty office.

_Shit._

As Doc was angrily exiting his office door, he expected to have time to give Sofia a lecture on the minute difference between eavesdropping and stalking, and the lab's policy on both.

Instead, he merely spotted her blond locks swiftly exiting through the now swinging morgue doors.

Doc made a mental note to talk to Grissom about Sofia…

------------

Sofia burst through the locker room doors, angrily kicking the trash can across the aisle.

Intent on her mission, she stalked over to Sara's locker and yanked the metal door open.

"Dammit!" she growled under her breath at the sight of Sara's phone still nestled on the shelf inside, exactly where she had left it.

"What the _hell _do you think you're doing?" a voice boomed from the doorway into the room.

Sofia closed her eyes, still partially hidden from view by Sara's locker door.

_Shit, Curtis! This is not going at all as you planned!_

Using the second to compose herself, Sofia plastered an innocent smile on her face and turned to look directly into the angry eyes of Catherine Willows in very close proximity to her own..

"Hi, Catherine. Well, you see-" Sofia began but was cut off by Catherine's usual disdain for rambling.

"No! I don't see! This _is _Sara's locker, isn't it? And last time I looked…YOU WEREN"T SARA!"

Sofia thought quickly and decided a version of the truth was most easily defended.

A small chuckle forced from her lips. Then,

"Of course…but I found Sara's phone under the bench before and put it here.

I've been looking for her for a while now, and I thought I'd see if maybe she had gone home.

But, obviously, if she hasn't taken her phone…"

_Ah, paydirt!_

Sofia knew Catherine couldn't resist a good mystery.

She could see the wheels turning swiftly behind Catherine's hazel eyes.

Knowing how protective the night shift CSI's were of each other, Sofia profited by Catherine processing the implications of Sara's unexplained absence.

Taking advantage of her opponent's momentary distraction, Sofia pocketed Sara's phone and closed the locker door.

Moving around the bench and heading away from Catherine before she could continue her questions, Sofia said, "I'll just keep looking for Sara."

With that, she was out the door.

Catherine made a mental note to talk to Gil about Sofia.

--------

Meanwhile, a half hour had passed when another hesitant knock pressed on the door to the Sheriff's office.

From his place near the window, where he had been staring out at the calm of the Las Vegas night sky, deep in thought, the Sheriff turned and called for the visitor to enter.

Imagine his surprise at seeing the object of his recent thoughts appear before him.

They stared silently at each other for a moment, before Sara coughed roughly and closed the door behind her.

It did not escape his notice that her hand lingered on the doorknob a bit longer than needed, as if forcing herself to conclude whatever business brought her here.

"I've, uh…" she stammered, before taking a deep breath and forcing that old-Sara resolve to the forefront.

_Surely, this would not be the hardest thing you've ever done, Sara. Rely on yourself. You can do this._

"If you have time, I'm ready to deal with that paperwork now."

Surprise registered on his face, knowing the internal conflict that brewed behind that resigned mask she wore.

But, if she wanted to do this now, he would help her ever step of the way.

Once seated and settled, the Sheriff handed her the first form, discussing the Name Change requirements.

His voice droned on somewhere in the distance, as Sara's vivid memory of the Judge Williams handing her the marriage license paperwork, only to be interrupted by Daniel and Cynthia's arrival.

_Why was I so stupid as to be distracted?_

_Two little words written in three different places…and I would be writing Sara Grissom._

_Sara Grissom._

My_ name _should_ be Sara Grissom!_

_But no…I was stupid…and now I will once again hurt the only man I will ever love…_

_I'm sorry, Gil._

Her pen moved in small shuddering motions, not overlooked by the Sheriff who continued to watch her outward calm with suspicious eyes.

S-A-R-A- …

She willed her hand to finish the six letters that would secure financial security for her innocent child.

_A nest egg…for the future._

_The baby will need things._

_I know Nick is the biological father…I can feel it._

_That money…the baby deserves all the things her father can never give her…_

Sara steeled her jaw.

S-T-O-K-E-S

It was done.

The Sheriff removed the document by sliding it out from under her pen still perched slightly about it but still held in a rigid grip.

He spoke with authority about her having a new set of ID badges, access keycodess, and payroll accounts drawn up immediately, but Sara no longer heard him.

She sat as if made of stone, transported back to her vows spoken with heartfelt love on that timeless night at the Bellagio:

_Gil - I want _you_ – you're all I've _ever_ wanted…you're all I'll _ever_ need…"_

Sara's hand moved without her full knowledge as it signed, out of sight of the Sheriff as he sat on the other side of his desk attempting to make this ordeal easier for her.

_A-N-D I W-I-L-L- L-O-V-E Y-O-U- F-O-R-E-V-E-R_

A smile that threatened to spread across her face died off instantly as the Sheriff placed a new set of papers needing her signature, the headings bearing the 72 font in bold print: SARA STOKES.

"Oh, Gil…"


	65. Chapter 65

A/N: Thanks for the great reviews and reader support of this story…the work schedule is easing now, and while this chapter is much shorter than I'd like, I am hopeful it will please…the plot is moving forward and key events are occurring (although there is a cliffhanger alert!)…I plan to post at least twice more this week…you are so amazing and terrific…more as soon as possible…-Kathy

---------------------------------

Cursing, Gil Grissom was practically flying down the corridors now crowded with lab techs and investigators returning from a myriad of crime scenes.

His haste was fueled by his overwhelming desire to find Sara, tempered with the knowledge that the triple homicide at the city limits required his immediate presence.

Ducking his head in and out of closed draped work stations, Gil's heart was pounding in his chest as he began to imagine all types of scenarios – all of which centered on Sara's being in distress, crying out for him.

His distraction was so great that as he turned the corner sharply he almost found himself dancing with the tall blonde as he practically body slammed into her, much to her delight.

"Sofia!" he nearly shrieked as his strong arms grabbed onto her upper arms to prevent her from spiraling into the wall at the power of the impact.

Sofia's body immediately reacted to the sudden proximity and undivided attention of the object of her lust.

Her arm movement restrained severely by the manner of his grasp, Sofia's long fingers stretched out to graze the cotton material covering his chest.

"So…Gil Grissom likes to play rough…" she cooed seductively, as their joint movement finally halted with her pressed lightly into the paneling behind her.

Reacting to her subtle innuendo, Gil's fingers splayed open immediately and moved down her arms swiftly – but not before Sofia's own fingers grasped lightly onto his wrists.

"Sofia -…I –I-…" he stammered, leaving Sofia feeling very much in control of the situation.

Moving forward, she breathed out heavily, "What, Gil…what do you _need_?"

Before Gil could regroup from this unplanned encounter, from behind them was heard a distinctively irritated voice.

"Grissom!"

Both parties swung around – Gil, red-faced, glancing around looking guilty, and Sofia, releasing Gil's hand, glancing around as if just remembering they were at work.

"Logan!" they both exclaimed, their voices pitched a bit too high as their emotions affected the sound – one with concern that their meeting seemed anything but innocent, while the other with irritation at 'their moment' being interrupted.

Glaring at Gil, Logan all but dismissed Sofia's presence.

"I see your _work_ is as demanding as ever…" snapped the judge.

Angered by the presumption that his encounter with Sofia was premeditated, Gil retorted with a calm coolness, "My _work_ is waiting for me at the city limits. I was racing to find Sara when I-"

Logan did not think that a person could become more angry than he was at this moment.

"Sara? _HERE_?"

Logan shook his head, wheeling around as he glanced down the four main thoroughfares of the crime lab.

"She's only out of the hospital a few days…after surgery, for god's sakes…_WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING HERE?"_

Gil closed his eyes.

Ever since the triple homicide was called in, he had been asking himself that same question.

_I wanted her near me._

_We needed her here to help with the cases that were backing up._

_I needed to be close to her, to protect her._

_Well, way to go, Gil!_

_You've not only managed to lose sight of her, now you've got Logan breathing down your neck!_

Calmly, Gil turned his back to Sofia and squared off with Logan.

"Sara is a CSI. We needed her here. We're terribly short-staffed since…" Gil's voice trailed off.

Nodding in understanding, Logan looked away for a moment as he stood imagining Nick's presence moving through these very walls just a few weeks ago.

A bit choked up, Logan managed without quite meeting Gil's eyes: "How is she?"

Grissom nodded slightly to relate that Sara seemed fine with this arrangement.

Logan nodded, then spoke softly, "Where is she now?"

Speaking as he moved to begin walking again, Gil said, "Told _me_ she was going to see Doc…"

Sofia interrupted, placing her hand again on Gil's forearm without garnering much of a reaction from Grissom.

"Oh, Gil," she spoke in a tone of someone who shared confidences with her listener, "I just came from there."

Smiling, she squeezed Gil's hand lightly before batting her long eyelashes a bit.

"Doc said he hasn't seen her…" she spoke, the implication that Sara was hiding from him not lost on either man.

Scowling, Gil picked up the pace a bit, more determined than ever to find his Sara.

Logan only took a moment to nail Sofia with a look that detailed his warning and his displeasure before the man took off after Grissom.

Sofia patted her pocket, smiling.

_Yes…let's ALL look for your precious Sara, shall we…?_

_---------------_

Sara sat on the loading dock deck behind the lab's morgue.

It was peaceful and quiet under the clear Las Vegas starlight, but she was anything but peaceful.

Her emotional meeting with the Sheriff had taken its toll, and she was beginning to experience a need for some restorative sleep.

Reaching down to her waistband, again she cursed that her phone was not there.

The earlier call had shaken her to the core, and now she was convinced that it was some type of hysterical hallucination.

Sighing deeply, she grimaced as the surgical site protested her movements.

Nonetheless, she closed her eyes and mentally demanded that her body just deal with the situation.

There was work to be done.

First job – find her missing cell phone.

Just as Sara entered the doorway into the side corridor near Doc's office, Sofia spotted her prey.

"Sara!" she almost shouted, taking Sara by surprise, but without recourse but to deal with this irritation face to face. "I've been looking all over for you!"

"Sofia? Was there something you needed?" Sara replied coolly, not willing to discuss her recent life events with her working partner for the evening.

"Well, for starters," Sofia began, reaching into her pocket and extending her hand gracefully.

Sara instinctively reached for the bundle Sofia was offering, recognizing her missing cell phone.

"Thanks…I was just about to go searching for that…" Sara said, wincing ever so slightly at the brief memory of the last time she held onto it.

Sofia smiled broadly, happy to see that effect of her scheming on Sara.

Following Sara's lead towards the lab, Sofia was surprised that Sara kept her phone shut off.

"Oh!" she began, feigning sincerity.

Sara looked towards her reluctantly, "Something you need, Sofia?" she asked tiredly, weary already of this woman's presence.

"No…not exactly," was the response, "just surprised, that's all."

Now, she had piqued Sara's curiosity.

"About?" Sara spoke impatiently, tired of the 20-questions game.

"Well," Sofia shrugged noncommittally, "I guess I just expected you would check you messages right away. You know…since Gil had been looking for you and all…and Logan-"

"Logan…was _here_?" Sara stopped dead in her tracks, hovering between the need to see him and the dread of dealing with his pressure to return to the ranch with Lillian and him.

Just nodding her head, Sofia felt her job was accomplished.

"Listen, I'll catch up with you in Trace in a bit. I need to see Hodges for a sec," she lied, smiling gleefully. The plan was definitely on track.

Before Sara could protest, Sofia turned the corner and scooted down the path to the lab.

Sara sighed, as she began to make her way to Trace, all the while eyeing the offending object in her hand.

_Get a grip, Sara! _

_Nick is gone…gone!_

_He can't hurt you anymore!_

With a deep breath, Sara clicked on the device which activated the voice mail alert message just as Sara walked through the open doorway to her worksite.

Taking a deep breath, Sara sat on a workstation stool and clicked the screen which indicated she had five waiting messages.

Another breath.

Message 1: caller GRISSOM

Sara's mouth curled slightly into a small smile. She punched the code and listened to Gil trying his best to not be panicked at the loss of contact with her earlier tonight.

Guilt overran her as she imagined him searching the entire lab, worrying if she had fallen or blacked out.

His words spoke of his concern that she had been hurt.

_No, my darling love…but what I have done I know will hurt _you_…_

She replayed the message, just to hear the timbre of his voice, the only slightly whispered declarations of love.

_I'm sorry, Gil…I want to be with you…but this baby…this baby changes everything…_

_How can I tell you…another man's child…how can you want me now?..._

_A forever reminder…that one time…another man-_

Her hand flew to her mouth to stifle the sob.

NO!

She shook herself and set down the phone, Gil's words a faraway echo in the almost empty room.

NO! I am not going to fall apart! I can handle this! I can do this alone!

Her words were brave.

But…she saved his message….

Message 2: caller DAD

A broader smile crossed Sara's face as she listened to Logan impatiently imploring her to return his call.

Apparently, he had gotten Monica's number from Daniel…but she refused to give him any information about Sara's whereabouts, stating firmly that she would get a message to Sara and have her contact him _if she wanted to._

Logan complained of getting Grissom's voice mail, and related his plan to got the lab himself to get some answers.

He hoped she was alright.

He wanted her to know how much he and Lillian loved her.

A tear ran down Sara's cheek.

Suddenly, the idea of being wrapped in a fatherly bear hug sounded very appealing right now.

She deleted this message, planning on finding out from Judy if Logan was still in the building.

Message 3: caller GRISSOM

This time, Gil did not try to hide his panic about not finding her. He related that he had been called out on a big case, but would have his cell by him at all times…and would she please…PLEASE call him as soon as she got this message…and that he loved her…and just that he couldn't wait to have time to talk to her soon….

Somehow, this message soothed Sara's troubled spirit. She saved the message with a smile, intent on phoning Gil as soon as she finished with the rest of the messages.

Message 4: caller UNKNOWN

Despite her strong will, the sight of this word screaming across her screen made her heart pound.

Ready to hit the delete button, Sara paused in mid-air.

_You're being ridiculous._

_You're losing your mind._

_It isn't Nick._

_It can't _be_ Nick._

_Just listen to the damn message!_

Sara coughed loudly as her heart fluttered deep within her chest as she clicked the LISTEN button.

"_Sara! Hi, this is Monica._

_I'm calling on my daughter's cell…just one of those cheesy disposables, but she likes it…anyway, there's no rollover minutes, so use 'em or lose 'em…_

_Anyway…I just wanted to phone and tell you that Logan is looking for you. I feel he needs to speak to you._

_I know, I know…he's not going to be happy that you chose to return to work so soon…but just remember…you have the right to choose what you do and when you do it…just call me, okay, any time of the night if you need to talk…or you need just to take a break….okay?_

_I'm sorry I have to leave such a rambling message…tell you what, I'll call you back later, to catch up with you…hope it's going alright…just take it one step at a time…okay…call you later."_

Sara was glad to have such a strong ally in her corner.

Sara smiled to herself, knowing that she had always viewed Grissom as such an ally.

_No matter whatever was happening between us…in a pinch, I always knew he'd be there for me…_

The smile morphed into a sadder version, knowing that Gil _would_ probably take great care of her and the baby…but she couldn't be one hundred percent sure…

_And where did _that_ come from?_

_Are you really contemplating telling him?_

Sara shook her head, a slight tremble making her almost drop the phone, releasing a pile of papers that had sat near the edge of the table, now cascading all over the floor.

_Concentrate, Sara! Just finish the messages, make return calls to Gil and Monica, and go find Logan!_

Message 5: caller UNKNOWN

_Monica, again_, Sara reasoned as she clicked on the LISTEN button and hit LOUDSPEAKER as she released the phone and bent slowly to retrieve the fallen paperwork.

"_Hello, darlin'…."_

Sara gasped, her shock in hearing Nick's voice echo through the room causing her to knock over the lab stool in her effort to shut off the source of the horror.

Her exaggerated movements caused the phone to slide across the polished workstation surface, landing out of reach on the other side of the table.

"_I've been thinking about you…miss me?"_

The voice held a laughing quality, taunting her as she scrambled to reach and shut off the device.

"_I'll be seeing you very soon, darlin'…can't wait to spend some quality time together…well, you know what I mean, don't you?"_

The verbal seduction released memories of her kidnapping: of Nick's roving hands, Nick's passionate kisses, Nick's possessive demands…

Almost blindly, Sara reached the other side of the table as the voice paused again between sentences before finishing:

"_Soon…Sara…soon."_

No sooner had Sara hit the STOP button, then she had begun frantically hitting the DELETE button, repeatedly sobbing, "NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

For a nanosecond, Sara had shut her eyes in an effort to try and calm herself.

A microsecond later, her eyes flung open in terror at the loud sound emanating from behind her.

"What the _hell_ is going on here?" boomed a Texas drawl from the direction of the doorway.

Clasping onto the cell phone, visions of calling out to Grissom for protection were instinctively overtaking her actions.

Hitting the speed dial for Gil's number, Sara frantically bounded one step towards the corner of the room as she felt the presence closing in behind her.

As a hand forcefully grabbed onto her upper arm, Sara's terror caused her to black out just as Gil's voice answered on the first ring.

As she slipped into darkness, she heard him calling her once, followed by a more frantic repeat of her name which overpowered the whisper of the only utterance she was capable of making, "Oh, Gil…"


	66. Chapter 66

A/N: A late night posting, because this story is moving forward in interesting steps…thanks for the many, wonderful reviews…yes, I know the angst seems to seep oppressively out of the woodwork…but these two tell their story in their own time…and I expect the fluff, one day, will be very worth the wait…hope this pleases…more as soon as possible…you are, as always, terrific… -Kathy

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In the distance, there was a low buzzing...humming…no, more like voices…

"…_anxiety can cause on outburst such as you describe…"_

"…_almost hysterical…"_

"…_calling for Grissom…"_

"…_he's on his way…"_

_Gil?…my Gil?…he's on his way?…_

A sudden rush of air, felt not seen because Sara could not force her eyes to open…

_What's wrong with me?_

_Gil…please…help me…_

_I need you…_

_Only you…_

_Always, only you…_

"Has she come around yet? How long has she been out?"

_It's Gil!...he's here…please, Gil…I can't get my eyes to open, my mouth won't work…_

_I need you…_

"She blacked out for about a minute or two, but was so disoriented I called for help.

One of the lab techs called for Doc, and they brought her to his office.

He's given her something to relax her, said it might make her drowsy."

_They gave me something to sleep?_

_What about the baby?_

_Oh, please…don't let it be harmful to the baby!_

_I should have told Gil…should have told him…_

Although she could not bring herself to a fully conscious state, Sara started to force a low moan to emanate from her lips in an effort to get Gil's attention.

Notwithstanding the ruckus around him, Gil immediately turned towards her, soothing her hair and speaking directly to her even though the others insisted she would not hear.

"I'm here, sweetheart. You're fine. You're fine now. "

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, not caring who was present and observing, Gil continued to smooth her hair and soothe her jerky movements.

"Sara…I'm here…please wake up now…and I will take you home…take you to Monica's…whatever you want…whatever you need…"

_I only need you, Gil…_

_I want to be with you…_

_But the baby…_

_I'm so afraid…I'm so afraid…_

Sara felt his hand grasping hers firmly as he continued to speak softly.

After what seemed like an eternity, Sara was able to open her eyes.

She was there alone with Gil in Doc's office.

He had shooed the others outside and closed the door, clicking off the bright lights and allowing only softer indirect light to bathe them in their solitude.

"Gil…" Sara rasped out, her eyes almost open.

Sighing softly, Gil reached over and under her until she was secure in his embrace.

"Sara…my god…I was so worried when they called me…"

The memories of the phone call, hearing that same Texas twang behind her, trying to get away…trying to get to Gil…

Sara started to battle for release, but Gil held her firm.

"Relax, honey…just relax, please…I have you …I have you and no one is going to hurt you…"

He held her closer, repeating his mantra until he felt Sara relaxing in his arms.

After a long while, her head resting on his chest listening to the rhythm of his loving heart, Sara looked up at Gil.

Patient as ever, he waited for her to speak.

She wanted to tell him about the phone calls.

_They _were_ from Nick._

_That _was _his voice._

_But Nick was _dead_._

_What did he want from her?_

_What did he want from her?_

"Gil…" Sara started, worry choking any other words.

After a moment, Gil just pulled her close and said, "Come on, honey…we can talk later…let's go home."

Although he had more questions than answers, he had Sara in his arms again – all the rest could wait.

----------

Sara rested at Monica's for another day before returning to work at the lab.

Ecklie had insisted that she return as per the original plan, the triple homicide was a tough case to crack, and all hands were needed on deck.

So busy was the lab at this point that Gil had only been able to talk to Sara on his infrequent breaks.

He had arrived just after the she had clicked off the phone, and did not apologize for his swift intervention at what seemed like a pure psychotic break on her part.

Logan was only moderately convinced that while he did not have the entire story, Sara was of sound mind and capable of continuing in her job.

Sara had spoken to Logan briefly after the memories of that night lost their hold over her, and she had held firm to her decision that he return with Lillian to the ranch without her.

Logan, while unhappy with the decision, was glad that at least he could trust Monica to be there as Sara needed.

In her at-home interval, Monica once again challenged Sara to tell Gil about the baby, and her effective arguments had begun to sway her slightly in that direction.

Monica had gained points with Sara by supporting her decision to apply for the beneficiary monies from Nick's estate – agreeing with personnel that the name change was needed and appropriate.

The doctor tried to pull out the real cause of Sara's "incident", but she was keeping firm-lipped about the phone messages.

_They won't believe me…I'll wind up in some institution somewhere…I just have to deal with it…_

_But I'm so afraid…_

_So afraid…_

So now, against Monica's advice, Sara sat in the locker room putting away her bag and jacket.

Sofia strolled into the locker room, pleasantly surprised to see Sara surfacing for round three.

"Sara! Good to see you. How are you feeling now?" asked Sofia in an extremely patronizing tone.

"I'm ready for work, Sofia. And you?" Sara asked with a perfunctory smile.

Slamming her locker, Sofia responded, "Ready for a busy night…my kit is packed if I get a call, and my cell phone is ready and waiting…how about yours?" she prodded, delighted again to see a shadow fall across Sara's face before she regrouped enough to answer.

"Then, ready if you are," Sara spoke quickly, leaving Sofia standing alone in the locker room.

_Oh, yes, Sara…I'm definitely ready…_

_----------_

Greg bounded into the Trace Lab having seen Sara enter a moment earlier.

"Sara! Good to see you!" he spoke as he reached out and hugged Sara tightly.

Normally, she would shy away from such behavior, but tonight…tonight a hug felt as good as a cup of hot chocolate after an afternoon of sledding.

"Hey," he began as he pulled back slightly, "what happened to you the other night?"

For some reason, Sara found herself starting to open up to Greg, who had always been there for her.

"I-I'm not sure," she responded, continuing, "Sofia returned my phone, I walked into the lab," Sara spoke before she heard Sofia's sharp inhale.

"Sara-" she came forward, placing her hand maternally on Sara's forearm.

"Sara…_you_ had your phone with you all the time, remember? In the locker room?. _I_ didn't give it to you!" she spoke, feigning concern.

"No, Sofia-" Sara began, "you remember…in the hallway…_you_ had found it in the locker room?" Sara spoke, upset filtering into her final words.

Greg looked from Sara to Sofia and back.

Something was not adding up here.

Sara had no reason to lie to him.

But Sofia was staring into his eyes in a way that tried to convey _just play along…_

Greg was uncomfortable patronizing Sara.

She was the most level-headed person Greg had ever known.

So…what story was he to believe?

Patting Sara's arm gently, Sofia sighed and said, "You know what, Sara? Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter at all," finishing with a slight shake of her blonde tresses as if to say _Poor girl…_

Greg turned his back on Sofia, facing Sara whose eyes held a faraway look as if she wasn't so sure of anything anymore.

_This is great! First Logan, now Greg sees Sara becoming more and more unglued._

_This is working out better than I thought._

_They'll be taking her out in constraints one day soon._

_And then…Grissom will need some major consoling…_

Sofia smiled and said to Greg's back, "I'm going to check on those tox results…see you in the lab in five, okay Greg?"

Without waiting for a reply, Sofia bounced her happy way down the hall.

Greg stood waiting for Sara to meet his gaze.

When she finally did, Greg reached out and held her hands tightly.

"You, Sara Sidle, are going to be just fine. You just have to get your groove back…and working on a puzzle of a case like this is just the thing to do it!"

Sara looked into Greg's eyes before she spoke.

"Stokes."

"Excuse me?" he squinted, unclear as to the message she was sending.

"It's Stokes now…Sara _Stokes_…"

He noticed how her lips quivered on the last syllable.

He nodded his head, trying to make sense of how it had all gone so wrong.

Taking a deep breath, he shook off his shock and smiled.

"Well… not for long, if Bugman has anything to say about it…"

He kept his surprise to himself when she did not respond.

Greg's pager went off and he looked down to see that Sofia was contacting him.

He noticed how Sara had jumped at the electronic beep, and how her hands flew to her cell phone.

_Her cell…what the hell was with that, anyway…and why would Sara lie about Sofia returning her cell phone?_

_What was happening around here? Something was not adding up._

Greg made a mental note to talk to Grissom about Sofia, as he bid Sara goodbye.

---------

Leaving the lab a half hour later, Greg was returning to trace with two brown paper bags filled with small labeled specimen bottles.

Each set of jars were tagged for processing manmade fibers and for testing natural fibers.

Each set of jars were tagged with labels warning handlers not to mix the contents under any circumstances.

The toxic gasses that could be produced with even small amounts could create severe burns if in contact with skin, or temporary unconsciousness if inhaled in a poorly ventilated area.

Greg had taken the time to tag the bottles with the liquid Warrick had procured, so there would be no confusion when Sofia and Sara handled them, as these liquids could help produce important evidence from materials Warrick had collected at the scene of the triple homicide.

When Greg arrived, the door to the Trace Lab was shut as the fresh air ducts worked to supply a suitable environment for testing.

Looking in the window, he saw that Sara had painstakingly set out the minutiae for testing, having categorized it by size and site.

Sofia had spent most of the time flitting around looking perky and important, leaving Sara as usual to do the grunt work.

Now, however, Greg was startled as Sofia was suddenly at his side.

Blocking his entrance to the Trace Lab, she forced Greg into relinquishing his hold on the two bags of chemicals.

"Sofia…just remember, tell Sara to take extreme caution with these solutions.

She has used one or the other before, but usually it is the senior lab techs who handle both under a very controlled environment.

Just be sure to tell her-"

"I got it, sugar, relax," smiled Sofia sweetly, seeing fate place another golden opportunity at her feet.

"Now, it's been great to see you and all, but…won't Grissom be looking for you?" Sofia batted her eyelashes and smirked to see Greg's eyes fly to his watch before he himself flew down the corridor.

Walking into the room, Sara was so absorbed in her work she paid little or no attention to Sofia.

Which is what she counted on.

Her back to Sara, she started speaking loudly as she unpacked all the bottles on the counter now hidden from view by her lab coat.

Switching one set of labels, Sofia effectively had created two sets of potentially harmful solutions.

_A win-win situation_, Sofia muttered as she reached for the door handle – her hand grazing the fresh air vent fan to OFF.

With the hustle and bustle of the lab, Sara did not register the difference in sound.

"Hey, Sara? I, uh, have an errand to run. Greg left these processing liquids for you, so don't feel like you have to wait for me. I'll, uh, be back as soon as I can."

With that, Sofia left as she closed the door behind her, taking a moment to enjoy what hopefully would be the last look at Sara working in the lab.

_I'll be close by here, Ms. Wonderful, for _whatever_ you might soon require…_

_Then everyone can tell Grissom just what a devoted friend I am to you…_

Sofia smiled as she moved down quickly down the hall; therefore she could not see Warrick coming around the bend to check on Sara.

He was unhappy about not speaking with her after the events out at the cabin, and decided tonight was as good as night as any to find out how she was holding up emotionally.

As the lab's window came into view, Warrick stopped dead in his tracks.

How could this be happening!?

Stunned, he watched immobile as his eyes saw Sara bring the edge of the woolen blanket that has been used to strangle the second victim to the chemical counter.

Using an eyedropper, he saw her dispense the remainder of the blue-tinted liquid onto the materials, saturating the wool in the test area.

Warrick's eyes widened in horror as the second titrate dropper from what Sara believed was the same batch of chemicals revealed a pink-tinged liquid.

_No…Sara wait!...don't…don't do it!...DON'T!_

The second the first drop fell from the dropper, a tight, medium sized white ball appeared to form out of nowhere.

Sara stood still, dropper poised unmoving as she tried to take in exactly what was happening.

Warrick now sprung into action.

"Sara!" he yelled, loud enough to garner the attention of all the passersby.

In those few seconds, the cloud grew exponentially and Sara was already disoriented.

Releasing her grip on the dropper, she watched in what seemed like slow motion as it fell onto the work surface – splashing lightly across her forearm while reacting with the saturated blanket area to create an even larger cloud.

Before her senses could fully focus on what was happening, Sara felt strong arms pull then lift her off her feet as she heard the door kicked wide open into the hallway.

By now, Greg was running up one hall and Sofia was turning the corner from the other.

"What happened? 'Ric…what happened?" Greg pleaded, unable to grasp the enormity of the near-miss.

Sofia reached out to Warrick, but he just brushed her aside angrily and began stalking down the long corridor to the morgue.

_An appropriate venue for you, Ms. Sara Wonderful, _Sofia stewed.

She was not used to being upstaged by the likes of Sara Sidle.

Suddenly, Sofia's mind snapped.

Perhaps it _was _the only thing that would give Sofia the undivided attention she craved.

Perhaps, with Sara _gone_, Gil Grissom might finally realize that he _belongs_ with Sofia.

Perhaps…

And while she dismissed the cleanup crew who demanded some information necessary to maintain their safety, Sofia came to a decision.

The time would never be more perfect…to get rid of little Ms. Goody Two Shoes once and for all…

--------

She promised him over and over again that she was _fine_,

she felt _fine_,

the chemical burn blisters were slight and looked _fine._

Gil was not convinced.

"Let Warrick take you home, Sara," Gil ordered, but Sara shook her head.

"I'm just going to take a rest here at Doc's office for a while, then go back and salvage what I can from the evidence."

"DO NOT GO BACK THERE, SARA!" Gil yelled loud enough to cause Brass to turn away from his consult with the investigating officer.

Calming slightly, Gil raked his hand roughly through his hair and pleaded, "Honey, please…just let Greg and Warrick handle it. Please…honey…"

The events of the other night, coupled with tonight's near miss had Sara's nerve on edge.

"Don't you trust me anymore, Grissom? Afraid Crazy Sara will mess up your damn evidence?"  
her voice raised menacingly.

"Sara," Gil sighed. _How could he make her understand his worry?_

"Just forget it, Grissom. I'm still capable of doing my job. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do…" she said, ending the call.

Immediately, guilt washed over her.

Her head bowed, slightly ashamed at her treatment of this man who had remained at her side throughout these last hellish weeks.

Intending to call and apologize, Sara held out her phone as it vibrated in her hand to indicate she had a message.

Warrick was just entering the room after being assured by Doc that Sara would suffer no long term effects thanks to his speedy intervention.

As he crossed the threshold, his footsteps screeched to a halt at the scene unfolding before him.

Sara sat facing away from Warrick with her arms wrapped around her, rocking disconsolately from side to side, sobbing, "No…please…don't say it ...stop..." as she stared unblinking at her cell phone dropped haphazardly in her lap.

Moving slowly towards her not knowing what to do next, Warrick's eyes opened fully as the whispered strains of Nick Stokes shattered the quiet: "You're mine, Sara…you're mine…"

Blinking furiously, Warrick raced forward and grasped the offending item, pressing the end button.

Kneeling quickly before her, 'Ric did his best to comfort Sara, assuring her it would be okay, that she was safe, that Nick was _not_ going to hurt her ever again.

Yelling for Doc, Warrick increased his hold on Sara as she melted against him, the toll of the nightmare being displayed through her silent sobs against his neck.

Releasing only one arm, he glared at Doc while he dialed Grissom's number.

"Grissom."

"Hey, boss…drop everything and get back here…on the double…"

Gil was already moving towards Brass, his facial expression causing Jim to excuse himself from his interview and move towards his squad car so that both men would converge upon at the same time.

Grissom's heart pounded in chest. "'Ric…is she…is she okay?"

Although Doc tried to release Sara from Warrick's grasp, he just shook his head defiantly.

After what he had just heard, he needed to hang onto Sara as much as she needed to cling to him until Grissom arrived.

"Warrick!" Gil demanded, all types of scenarios playing out mentally in the interlude.

Finally, 'Ric looked down at Sara and took a deep breath.

Finding the courage to face Sara's situation in pointblank fashion, Warrick almost yelled, "No, dammit! It's not alright! Nothing is alright! Just get your ass back here! She needs you. NOW!"

With that, Grissom's adrenaline level shot off the charts.

"I-I'm on my way. Fifteen minutes. Can you tell her I'm on my way?"

Warrick closed his eyes. These two needed to get rid of all the middlemen in this relationship.

Knowing Gil was really making an effort, 'Ric sighed and tried to control his vacillating emotions.

"Here…tell her yourself…"

And with that he held his cell out for Sara to see.

"Sara…Gil needs to talk to you...can you just tell him you're alright?"

Without releasing her from his embrace, 'Ric set the phone near Sara's ear.

While she didn't acknowledge its position at first, he knew she was listening.

Grissom, however, did not wait for her to speak.

Instead, he began a barrage of endearments, of assurances, of promises that he was only a few minutes away.

_Could she hear him? _

_Could she hold on just a few more minutes?_

_Could she please just try, just let him hear her say she'd wait for him?_

Her face still buried in Warrick's neck, Sara breathed in deeply and on an exhale uttered simply, "Oh, Gil…"


	67. Chapter 67

A/N: Another twist ahead...(but maybe not what you're thinking!)…thank you for all your reviews (yay or nay, they are all valuable)…these two tell their story in their own time…hope this pleases…not beta'd, all mistakes are mine (my word counts don't match, so if you find a section that repeats, please ignore)…more as soon as possible…you are all dearly terrific to me… - Kathy

---------

Bounding through the long expanse of corridors leading towards Doc's office, Gil was oblivious to Ecklie's shouted hails, the rush of lab techs wanting to update him on test results, or Brass' presence racing behind him.

He could only think about getting to Sara.

_What the hell had happened here?_

Pushing his full body weight onto the entry doors, the polished aluminum swung easily out of his way revealing Doc's worried countenance turning towards him.

Without speaking, he pushed past the coroner and found himself in the small office, Warrick still holding on to Sara – looking himself as if he had seen a ghost.

"Griss-" Warrick began, immediately releasing Sara as she turned towards him.

Gil grabbed her possessively from the CSI's protective stance, worry overcoming him as he took in her quiet demeanor.

There were no tears, no shivers, no signs of – life.

He tried to speak to her, to get Sara to at least look into his eyes, but she demurred as she flopped her head into the crook of his neck.

So he wrapped his arms around her, furiously scanning the room for _somebody_ to explain what had happened here.

Now, Doc was hopeful that with Grissom here Sara would allow at least a superficial exam.

His cursory examination eased his fears, and he pronounced Sara well enough to go home to rest.

This time, Grissom planned to actually take Sara "home". Today his heart just could not bring himself to hand over her care to Monica.

"Let's go, honey," Gil spoke softly, hugging her thin frame tightly to him as he moved them towards the door.

"Grissom!" Warrick shouted, needing to relate what had led to Sara's current state.

"Later, 'Ric. I-I'll call you later," Gil said distractedly, concentrating on keeping Sara near him for both their benefits.

Nodding slightly, Warrick was just standing there watching their exodus when his view was obstructed by an irritated Brass speaking directly to him, "Lucky for you, 'Ric, _I_ happen to be free right now…"

Having moved past his office towards the main exit, Gil and Sara had made it almost to the front doors when Judy called after him.

"Later, Judy," Gil spoke dismissively, but she scurried after him urgently.

"_Dr. Grissom_…these came from the FBI…your current case…"

Gil grumbled and slowed their forward movement. Sara didn't seem to object, or notice for that matter.

Extending his hand, he all but grabbed the large, laminated interdepartmental envelope and resumed their exit.

Judy rushed to cut him off, speaking nervously as she handed him a smaller manila envelope.

Frowning his displeasure, Judy looked apologetic as she added, "…and these from the Sheriff's office. He- well he thought it was important enough to order me to pass these to you… _personally_."

--------

Warrick had refused to begin his story until they both were in the privacy of Brass' office.

Taking only a little time to setup the scenario, the tall, lanky CSI found himself shuddering a bit internally as he related the details of finding Sara and overhearing the phone call.

Obviously shaken, Warrick paused to regain some semblance of calm as his agitation had caused his voice to grow in volume and intensity.

After the third heartbeat, Warrick realized that Brass had not reacted to the news.

Pulling himself to a fully upright position, he leaned forward in his chair until his forearms were poised at the end of the mahogany desk.

"Didn't you hear what I _said_???

It was _Nick_!

Calling Sara!

And-and she was freaking out!

And he was saying over and over and over in the same tone I've heard a hundred times!

"You're mine…you're mine, Sara…you're mine…you're mine, Sara…"

DAMMIT!"

Warrick was on his feet, angrily stomping around the office, finally kicking the trash can across the room.

"Damn him! Just how much more is the girl supposed to _take_?"

Realizing for the second time that Brass was still seated motionless, Warrick whipped around and stomped towards the detective, the urge to yank him out of his comfortable seat becoming very powerful.

"Dammit, Jim! You think I'm lying? You think I'd make up something like this?"

Warrick's tirade pulled Brass out of his deep thoughts.

Shaking his head slightly as if to clear it, he shook his head quickly.

"No, god no, 'Ric! I believe you…I do…please…sit down…"

Warrick couldn't decide if he was annoyed more at Brass for his calm or at himself because he was feeling anything _but_ calm.

Now it was Brass' turn to lean forward against his desk.

"And you are sure it was Nick?"

Quick shakes of the head. "No doubt in my mind."

"And you'd swear it under oath."

Anger colored the quiet response. "On my grandmother's grave."

Brass stood up and in deft movements he opened his office door, surveyed the immediate area surrounding it, and once satisfied that there was no one within earshot he moved to sit on the edge of the desk in front of Warrick.

"Tell me about Sofia."

"_Sofia_?!" Warrick spat. He was here telling about the horrors that Sara had endured, and this man wants to know about Sofia??

"It's important, 'Ric…I promise," Brass implored, and for the first time Warrick could see that the detective was trying to connect all the dots.

Closing his eyes on a sigh, Warrick reined in his anger and tried to remember.

"I was walking down the hallway…lots of lab techs, day shift…uh, come to think of it, yeah…Sofia was there, but at the end of the corridor talking to a lab tech…I just kinda glanced over in her direction…"

Warrick paused as if ready to remember something important.

"Then what?" Jim prodded.

He turned to answer, his movements excited by his recall.

"I just remember glancing up and her eyes were already locked on me…like she was watching me…no, more like watching this end of the hall…"

His eyes widened and snapped sideways to lock with Jim's.

"_You _think she was watching the lab where _Sara_ was!"

Standing, he began to pace a bit before the pieces started falling together.

"_You_ think she had something to do with the call!"

In a heartbeat, Warrick had turned to stomp out the door, but his exit was blocked by Brass' swift movements.

"No…not yet…" he placated Warrick with his usual intensity.

"Tell me what you know, Brass," the CSI implored him. "Please."

Their eyes warred for control of the situation for a mere moment, before Brass sighed and said, "Fine."

Seeing Warrick's shoulders relax as he moved to seat himself, Brass placed a hand on his shoulder.

"But not here…and I think the rest of the gang needs to hear this, too…"

Recalling the fear in Greg's eyes, Warrick could only nod his agreement.

"Just say where and when."

Brass smiled.

"Half hour, Rocco's Bar off the strip. Bring Greg and Catherine."

Moving again towards the door, Warrick turned to make one more impassioned plea, but was only greeted with, "Leave it for one more half hour. Go!"

With that, Warrick left like a man on a mission, leaving Brass to move quickly to the phone and dialing the Sheriff's number…

-----

Gil sat against the headboard of his townhouse bedroom.

Shades drawn, the only room light emanated from his nightstand lamp, switched to low.

Sara was laying on her side, even in sleep he could feel her cling to him.

Sighing, he continued to absently stroke the brown curls that cascaded down her back as her head was inclined towards his neck in such a fashion that her breathe both calmed and excited him.

_What happened to you, Sara?_

_You've been through so much lately, and…laying here together…_finally_ together…I'm even more confused…_

_Why _aren't_ we together?_

In the last half hour since they had arrived, Gil's emotions battled for control.

One minute, he was overjoyed at the feel of her in his arms. He had missed her so.

The next minute, he was confused at her choice to distance herself from him.

_Nick's gone…we should be together…yet, she seems to be shutting me out…_

Try as he might to keep this thought at bay, the last few days found quiet times when he was contemplating a bit of evidence or a crime scene layout when Monica's words would flash through his mind:

"_So, I take it you told him?"_

The same uneasy flush pounded through his system as Gil's lips pursed and turned sideways.

_Did you tell me _what _exactly, Sara?_

_We promised to be together forever, Sara…but lately it seems that secret is the only thing you plan to embrace forever…_

Absently, his body bristled at the perceived deception and his shoulder muscles cried out to be stretched.

Without thought, he readjusted his position with a huff – a movement that threatened to awaken the object of his ire.

As quickly as it had surfaced, the irritation vanished.

Gil, now worried that he had caused her to stir from the only deep sleep she had probably allowed herself in days, began gently rubbing her back as he brought her closer to him in a protective embrace.

Sara, still asleep, clutched his shirt as if to deny him retreat, her face contorting as if in the throes of a budding nightmare.

"I'm here, Sara. I'm here….shhh…I have you…just rest, sweetheart…." he whispered, eliciting a small sigh after a while.

Looking down at her, asleep but concern still written on her face, Gil sighed.

_Even in dreams, there was no escaping the memories of what that bastard did to her._

The protective Grissom surfaced now, causing the minute hand to fully circle the numbered orb on the wall before he dared to take his eyes off her.

_Who am I kidding? I am here…I will always be here for her…I need to be here for her…_

_Sara…I want to scoop you up, take you away…run away…_

_We can elope…start somewhere fresh…no ties to Vegas…no memories…just us making each other happy for the rest of our lives…_

The thoughts were turning into plans, as Gil wrestled with the minute details of making this plan a reality.

His heart was buoyed. He could do this. He could leave this place. He wanted to do whatever it would take to be with Sara and make her happy.

As she shifted her body to rest on her other side, Gil allowed her to slip from his arms.

He had many things to do, many loose ends to tie up before they could leave.

Happily, he covered her with the fleece coverlet and smiled as she rolled herself slightly to encase herself as if in a cocoon.

Kissing her on top of her curls, he backed away from the bed relishing the sight he had sorely missed since that happy night at the Bellagio.

Moving quietly to the living room, he spotted those two envelopes Judy had insisted he take with him.

Surveying both, he decided the case could wait. If they were to leave soon, he'd be passing off the workload to Catherine anyway.

Grabbing the smaller of the two envelopes, he moved into the kitchen and started the already prepped coffeepot.

Leaning against the counter, he slit open the envelope and dumped the contents out onto the marble surface.

What he saw made him want to cry out in anger.

I.D. card, health card, department issued credentials, locker name tag.

All imprinted with the words that seared his soul.

_Sara Stokes._

Now, Gil's wrath boiled over.

_Ecklie._

_That bastard._

_He was just going to rub her nose in it._

_He was just hell-bent on making her suffer._

_Well, he's not going to get away with this._

Angry did not adequately describe the tenor of his voice as Judy answered the incoming call.

"CS-"

"This is Grissom. Patch me in to Ecklie's office, Judy…_now_…"

Tongue-tied, she transferred the call without a spoken word.

Gil tried to calm himself to no avail.

As soon as Conrad's voice washed over his hearing, Grissom was out for blood.

"You sonofabitch! You aren't going to get away with this! Sara won't stand for it! And you will have me to contend with when she finishes with you!"

Ecklie smiled.

_I didn't remember doing anything to Sara…was Gil referring to that letter I wrote for his disciplinary action?..._

_well, doesn't matter...whatever is making Grissom so out of control is certainly making _my_ day…_

Condescending to the extreme, Conrad replied, "Why, Gil…what has gotten your shorts in such a bunch?"

-----------

The bar was almost deserted, the overhead sound system loud enough to effectively block out their conversation from being heard.

Grim-faced, Catherine, Greg, and Brass listened to Warrick tell his experience in Doc's office.

Greg initially tried to treat it as a product of their stress, a misinterpretation of facts.

The silence that followed his protests caused him to take a good look at Warrick.

That man had been through hell and back in his personal as well as professional life, especially in the last year.

But Greg had to admit to himself he had never seen him as rattled as he did today.

"Okay…so…saying we accept that it _was_ Nick's voice on the other end…"Greg began, only to be cut off by an impatient Catherine.

"No…uh-uh…we saw the body, Doc was there for the autopsy…no…somebody is playing Sara…I don't think they ever expected Warrick to overhear that voice…" she began, causing Brass to smile softly in agreement.

"I think you hit the nail on the head, kid," he spoke, leaning forward.

"So, who might benefit from hurting Sara in such a manner?" he asked, knowing that the full story of Nick's demise had never been released, even to the still-curious lab techs.

"Well, it would have to be someone close to Nick and Sara…and that suggests one of us," Catherine said, looking at the three men with a pained expression.

Brass was quit to retort, "Well…a CSI, definitely…"

After a heartbeat, Greg's eyes became as large as saucers.

"What?" Catherine asked casually, sipping her drink as her mind tried to sort out the facts in the case.

"Earlier…in the lab…I was talking to Sara…she mentioned that Sofia had given her back her cell phone that she left in the locker room."

He held their complete attention.

"Sofia tried to get me to play along, like Sara was spacey, not really in touch with reality," Greg spoke in a tone that became increasingly bitter.

"What? I personally saw Sofia tampering with Sara's locker. When I called her on it, she was holding Sara's cell in her own hands!" Catherine interrupted, fuming.

Warrick shook his head, pleading with Brass, "I'm telling you, she was waiting for something to happen at that workstation – wait! You don't think-"

The three CSIs were dumbfounded at the body of evidence pointing to Sofia's involvement with Sara at the lab.

"But I can do you one better," Brass smiled ironically.

Taking a deep chug of his mug, he began to relate a seemingly innocent discovery that had wide reaching ramifications.

"You know I stayed at the Lake after everyone came home, tying up loose ends.

So, I'm back and my desk is littered with files and reports.

I start stacking them in piles according to types of cases: trick rolls, robbery, you know.

Anyway, after I finish sorting I start filing and after a long while, I'm tired and sore from the long car ride, I just want to be done and go home to grab some ZZZ's.

The last pile is a list of internal memos from various departments. Individually, nothing too eyecatching.

But together like that…" his voice trailed off as he started to recall putting the puzzle together.

"Were any of them about Sofia?" Catherine asked, enthralled.

"No…but three separate memos dealt with activity in the area of the Evidence Vault."

Seeing three blank faces staring in rapt attention, Brass shook himself out of his thoughts and realized he needed to give them more insight.

"One told of the vault door being left ajar. No one was found inside, and the memo reminded everyone to lock up when they were done."

"The second memo was from the precinct captain who was logging out new evidence for an upcoming appeals trial noted that a box filed high above his had an evidence seal broken."

This caused the other three occupants of the table to shift uncomfortably.

"Without the log in manifesto, the captain couldn't tell if anything was missing. He just filed the report and suggested someone check that seal for tampering."

Taking a deep breath, Brass continued.

"And yesterday I did just that."

Looking each of the CSIs in the eye, he warned, "If you want to help Sara, then nothing I'm about to say leaves the table."

"Well, except for Grissom," Greg chimed in, to be forcefully silenced.

"ESPECIALLY to Grissom, understand Sanders?" Brass huffed, the other two nodding in agreement.

One look into his troubled eyes, and they knew the information he was about to impart was going to be a blockbuster.

"I phoned the Sheriff today and informed him of my findings. The box has been re-inventoried, but has been replaced to suggest the theft has gone unnoticed."

"So the thief thinks they've gotten away with it," Warrick said, distantly.

Nodding, Brass sighed before continuing.

"No prints, and two major pieces of evidence missing."

"And they would be?" Catherine said, dreading the answer.

"Two small vials of the date rape drug…and a small bag of disposable cell phones."

An audible gasp brought the hairs on Brass' neck to attention.

"And you think…it's _Sofia?_" asked an unbelieving Greg.

"Why not? She's always hated Sara, everyone knows that," Catherine spoke, the wheels obviously turning as she tried to process the new information.

Warrick remained silent, staring at Brass.

Finally, "But…there's something else, isn't there, Brass?"

The trio stared, waiting.

Nodding slightly, Brass held up his hands.

"Don't go too far with this…but we're following a hunch I have…and it's not a good one," Jim spoke quietly.

"Go on," Catherine said, agitated.

"Well, think about it…if she did take those phones…she must have either been there, or at least known about…" he paused, allowing them to connect the dots.

It was Warrick who spoke, startling everyone with the venom in his voice, "The drug…the drug that was taken could be the drug that was used to kidnap Sara in the first place…dammit!"

Brass just nodded, waiting for the implications to sink in.

Greg was unsure what was being alluded to, but Catherine was soon on board.

"And if she _did_ know…she could be charged as a co-conspirator!...or at least an accomplice – before or after the fact!"

Brass sighed, "And if we know that, so would she…which would make her a very dangerous person."

Understanding dawned on Greg, as he added, "And Sara would be in major danger…"

----------

Sara stirred, smiling at the feel of Grissom's bedding under her outstretched arms.

_It would be so wonderful to wake up here every morning…if only…_

Suddenly, Sara realized with a start that she was alone with no sounds rising from anywhere in the townhouse.

Irrational panic seized her, and she had to steady herself from the dizziness that overcame her momentarily upon rising so abruptly.

Holding on to the wall, she made her way as swiftly as she could out into the living room, her heart racing at the thought of being alone with the darkness of the early morning surrounding

the city.

She followed the light of the kitchen where she was immediately relieved and perplexed to find Gil sitting with his back to her, shoulders slumped as he hovered over the dining table.

Trying to not seem so needy, she breathed in slowly and out softly – until the objects of his attention came into her full view.

Startled by the sight of the items bearing her new legal name, she inhaled sharply which caused Gil to twist in surprise to face her.

The sight of the anguish in his eyes was a memory she was sure would haunt her until her dying day.

She reached out to him, but he turned sharply away from her.

Her hand hovered in mid-air, her body feeling cast in stone.

A long moment passed, in which Sara felt her entire life flashed before her.

Monica's advice rang in her ears: _It's your life. Your choice. Choose wisely._

Sara knew that long journeys start with the first step…

She was choosing to find her way back to being happy, to being whole…to being with Gil.

Moving forward, she sat in the tall backed chair across from him.

Pushing her errant curls behind her ears, Sara braced herself to have the most important conversation of her life.

Waiting a long moment, she watched as he fingered her I.D. badge bearing the name which caused them both so much pain.

He finally dropped it in anger, looking up to glare at her, silently shaking his head before averting his gaze.

Worried that he was going to leave before she could speak, Sara mustered up the courage to speak softly, "Oh, Gil…"


	68. Chapter 68

A/N: These two can really get to you….this chapter was written in one sitting…it will be the last posting until I get back from Thanksgiving vacation…hope everyone enjoys the holiday weekend…these words flew from the action with which they flooded my brain…there is not time to reread…all mistakes are mine…your reviews and support continue to amaze…hope it pleases…-Kathy

--------------

His chair flew out from behind him as he shot out of his chair, flinging the I.D. badge across the polished wood towards Sara, causing her to gasp in surprise.

Pacing like a caged lion about to pounce on his selected prey, his eyes never left hers.

"Don't look so shocked, _my dear_…they're _yours_, are they _not_?"

When she remained silent, wondering how to respond, Sara jumped slightly as Gil turned to slap his hands flat onto the table where moments before he had sat trying to make sense of her request for the name change.

"ARE THEY _NOT_?" his booming projection shattering the previous calm of the room, his eyes betraying his feelings.

Never taking her eyes from him, she looked beyond the anger, seeing it masking the real emotion – pain.

_He's hurting._

_I never wanted him to be hurt._

_It's why I can't tell him about the baby…_

_He won't understand._

_How can I make him understand?_

Without missing a beat, Sara inhaled deeply before she began.

"Yes," she said evenly, "they _are_ mine."

Pushing away from the table forcefully, Gil spun around to face the empty doorway.

"At your own request."

Still focused solely on his defeated posture, Sara replied stiffly, "At my own request."

Rubbing his hand down his face, he began to shake his head before twisting around, his words like venom spewing from his mouth.

"You must be _so_ happy, then…trying _this one_ on for size as well…"

His reference to her previous comments to him, spoken a lifetime ago at the Bellagio, felt like a slap on the face.

"_Sara Grissom…Mrs. Gilbert Grissom…_

_oh, Gil,…those lovely sounding words…_

_they make me _so_ happy…_you_ make me so happy…_

_and now, forever, to use this name…to read it, to write it…_

_and know that I am starting a whole new chapter of my life…with _you_…"_

A few weeks ago, his hurtful statement would have cut her to the quick, causing a tear to roll down her china white cheeks.

But having endured the events of the last few days, the scrappy Sara Sidle from the old days suddenly was being resurrected, hovering somewhere right below the surface.

This long buried side of Sara was used to pushing back when she was attacked, self-preservation the leading instinct.

During her years in foster care, she had been inclined to respond to the pain inflicted upon her.

And right _now_, the old Sara was rearing her ugly head.

_And_ the old Sara was inclined to do many things…but crying wasn't one of them.

"Shut. Up." she said quietly, shaking her downcast head.

Gil paused his pacing, almost sure he had misheard.

"Excuse me?" he said, his anger momentarily abating slightly as his natural curiosity surfaced.

Standing slowly, Sara nailed him with a stare before pushing off the table slowly to stand a bit too erect, her movements menacing in their simplicity.

Grissom gulped.

"Just. Shut. Up." she spoke more forcefully, her gaze locked disapprovingly with his eyes.

Gil was stunned into silence.

His Sara had never spoken to him before in this manner.

Even during all the years he had pushed her away, she had taken it on the chin and would simply walk away.

Gil could not focus on anything other than his surprise at her tone.

Sara took full advantage of his silence.

"_Don't_ stand there with your preconceived ideas about me…

You don't know _anything_ about me!

You don't _know_ what's been happening to me!

You …you sit here and look at these-" her emotions caused her lips to quiver suddenly.

Sara slammed her eyes closed and looked away from him, trying to keep those damned tears from falling.

_No more tears, Sara! No more tears!_ a small voice from inside screamed loudly.

_You don't need him! _

_You've done just fine alone._

_You don't need him!_

_You don't need anyone!_

But unlike all those hurtful years in foster care, or all those lonely years she had shielded herself from Gil's rejections, _this time_ her heart demanded to be heard.

_He loves you, Sara!_

_You love him, too!_

_Find a way, Sara…find your way back to him…_

_You're both hurting…_

_Together...you can heal each other…together…forever…_

When she opened her eyes, Gil could see the conflict displayed within them.

He closed his eyes as he turned away from her gaze, hoping to explain his feelings adequately for once in their relationship.

"I'm sorry, Sara…" he began, wishing Sara to calm a bit as his worry increased over her uncharacteristic verbal assault.

But before he could speak, Sara glanced at the newly named credentials, the sight of which caused her buried anger to spill over.

She picked up the locker tag and threw it at a stunned Grissom.

"Stokes…it's Sara STOKES, now…and don't forget it….

_I _won't forget…

I will _never_ forget …"

Sara pulled her arms around herself defensively, absently placing an open palm slightly below her abdomen.

"Sara…" Gil tried again, his previous fury now replaced by concern over the apparently rapid decline of Sara's rationality. "It's alright, honey…"

"SHUT. UP!" Sara screamed, picking up the picture I.D. and flinging it angrily across the table at him.

Gil dodged the second missile, mentally thanking the powers above that he had not poured them mugs of hot coffee.

Sara's rage spilled out, evidenced by a bitter verbal assault.

"It's _not _alright!

It's _far_ from alright!

It's _never_ going to be alright!"

Her heart was screaming warnings not to push Gil away, but she refused to listen.

The old Sara had armed her defenses to full attack mode.

Grabbing her named keyring, she raised the offending letters for emphasis.

"THIS.

_Nick _did this.

I _let_ him do this.

I let him take me away from you that night in the Tea Room.

I let him take me away from you at the cabin.

I let him take me away to marry him…so he wouldn't hurt you anymore…

I let him do this…to save you…

I let him touch me…over and over again…so he'd let you go free…

I let him do this…because I needed to know you'd be safe.

I would have let him go through with his plan to end our lives…because I wouldn't have lasted without you…

I watched him…dead…"

Gil's concern was growing as Sara's ranting was growing softer, more introspective.

"And now…Nick's dead…."

Sara looked at Gil, their souls joined as he shivered at her words.

"And now…

it will never be over…

it will never be over…"

Sara stood silent for a moment, lost in thought, her hand splayed open over her abdomen.

"And you can never want me now…"

The words, spoken with such finality, made Grissom's heart seize.

He inched towards her, worried about any sudden movements would cause Sara to collapse under an emotional landslide.

"Sara?"

Gil wondered if she honestly realized he was standing just a few inches beside her.

He continued to speak, moving his hand to softly touch her shoulder. She did not react.

Worried, he spoke softly, hoping to regain her focus on the present situation.

His touch sent chills down her spine, and at that moment Sara realized Gil had crossed the distance and was now speaking to her in a loving tone:

"Honey…I _do_ want you…want _us._.."

His words, designed to placate her temper obviously on a downward spiral, amazingly had the opposite effect.

With all the bitterness that poisoned her psyche from the horrors of her kidnapping, Sara laughed softly.

She shook her head, unable to face the man who right now teetered on a narrow Love/Hate precipice.

"You couldn't do it."

The words caused Gil to brake his forward motion.

He could feel his knees buckle slightly under the weight of daggers implied in her utterance.

"I-" he stammered, his mind not really knowing to what she was referring, but his heart somehow understanding her words..

She turned slightly and raised her gaze, piercing him with her stare.

"And then…_lest we forget_…what was your _exact_ phrase?…oh, yes…

Sara leaned back against the credenza situated behind her.

"Yes…something about…that you are... _sorry… _you 'married me like that'."

A pause.

A deep, shuddering breath.

Sara did not blink as she spoke. "Well…I am sorry, too."

His breath caught at her words.

_She's lying._

_She loves me._

_She sacrificed herself to save me._

_That bastard almost killed her…because she loves me._

_She _does _love me._

_She _DOES_!_

"Stop it, Sara!" he said forcefully, but she was no longer really speaking to _him_.

No, her world was crashing down around her, just like Monica had said it would if she didn't get out the emotions that were smothering her, choking off her peace of mind.

Gil found himself riveted to the spot, the only witness to Sara confronting her demons.

"I can take his name.

I _can_ take his name…_I can_…

And I can do this….I _will _do this…

And we'll be okay…_we'll be okay_…" she muttered more to herself than to Grissom.

Gil closed the distance between them.

Sara again seemed not fully aware of his presence until she felt his arms wrapped protective around her from behind.

Moving slowly so as not to startle her, Gil began to speak slowly in reassuring tones.

At first, his grasp was welcomed, and Sara unconsciously leaned back into him a bit.

"I have you now, Sara…you're okay…

you're not going to be alone….

I have you now, Sara…I'm sorry, honey…so sorry," Gil continued to speak.

He was so angry at himself for his selfish reaction to Sara's decisions about the paperwork.

_You're such an idiot._

_All she's been through…and you are worried that she put into writing what is legal _fact_?_

_Get a grip on yourself, Grissom…this isn't about you…isn't at all about you…_

He began to sway them slightly, soothing her as one would a distraught child.

"I love you, Sara….I have always loved you…"

Gil's words rang in Sara's ears, but it was Nick's face that suddenly appeared before her as she remembered how he had spoken those exact words that December night of their engagement as they went for a midnight stroll down to the stables.

Grissom continued, oblivious to her flashbacks.

"I want to marry you, Sara…I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy…"

Sara's memories flashed Nick's smile as he had uttered similar words.

The voice in her ear added, "As soon as we can, I want us to get married, Sara. I want the whole world to know that you will be mine, forever…"

Sara's mind was now conflicted with images of Nick's pronouncement, "You will be mine" and Gil's smile as he promised to love her "forever".

Her mind was reeling, and as Gil mistakenly believed Sara was calming down, in reality she was beginning to find breathing difficult.

His final statement put her over the edge.

Hugging her tightly, he pressed his lips to her ear and whispered, "You're mine, Sara…you're mine…"

The horror created by the memory of Nick's message blaring from her cell phone blanketed Sara with an adrenaline rush that sent her heart racing.

"NO!" she screamed emphatically, struggling as if her very existence depended on securing her release from Gil's arms.

"Sara? Honey?" Gil asked, again and again, refusing to release her until he discovered the reason for her distress.

Images of being held hostage at the cabin accosted her:

- Nick bending them backwards to retrieve the gun in his backpack,

- Nick speaking softly in her ear, "…and then we'll be together in heaven…"

- Nick kissing her hair softly as he aimed the gun at her head,

- the feel of his hands gripping her tightly to prevent her escape,

- the feel of his hands all over her,

- having to endure the feel of his lips as he "kissed his bride",

- drug-blurred images of him mauling her on the cabin's bed…

"No! Nick! Leave me alone! Just leave me alone!"

Sara struggled and this time Gil released her, his hand jumping to cover his mouth as his brain raced to figure out what to do next.

In that moment, Sara had moved across the room, her eyes widely scanning the area for evidence that Nick was, in fact, in the room.

Decisively, Gil squared his shoulders and spoke in his most authoritative tone.

"_Sara!_"

In all the years Sara had worked at the lab, she had come to know that tone.

Graveyard Supervisor Grissom didn't raise his voice often.

But when he did, _everybody_ stopped and listened.

Immediately, Sara stilled, gulping back her harried panting.

He did not speak another word.

Gil maintained eye contact with Sara, allowing her the space she obviously needed to regain control.

He had learned a valuable insight from listening to Monica speak to Sara.

_You've had enough of people telling you what to do…it's time for you to begin doing what _you_ want to do, Sara…_

So, he waited.

It seemed like hours…but a few minutes can do that when you are a desperate man.

_Please, honey…just please say being with me _is_ what you want to do…_

Her breaths were steadier now, and Gil was not disappointed as he anticipated Sara's next action.

All those years at crime scenes, he saw victims lash out, calm…and then seek solace in the arms of a loved one.

Silently, Gil stood his ground, opening his arms invitingly.

The old, warrior Sara – defender against the cruelty of the world – was swiftly deposed by the power of the heart – desperately wanting to be loved, by the only man Sara would _ever_ love.

Sara crossed the divide and all but collapsed into Gil's arms, her heartbreak bringing both of them to their knees.

Gil swiftly situated himself against the credenza, pulling Sara tightly against him as she wept bitterly and clawed at his shirt in an effort to hide in his arms.

"Sara…my Sara…" was all Gil could utter as his own tears flowed.

They sat like this for a good part of an hour, releasing the pain of their ordeal, their separation, their insecurities.

Finally, Gil pulled Sara's tear-drenched face upwards with one hand, the other clinging to her in an effort to maintain their contact.

"I'll never let you go, Sara…_never_!" he forced out emotionally.

"I _love_ you, Sara…_forever_…"

He felt her hesitation when she rasped out, "I love you, too…but"

Sara snuggled closer, their proximity giving her the courage to ask the difficult question.

"But?" he encouraged, tightening his grip to let her know she could ask him anything.

She shuddered a breath before continuing.

"But…you said…you …were sorry…" was all she could get out.

Knowing he would tolerate her unrestrained tears was allowing her to get years of lonely misery off her chest.

"_Sara…" _Gil spoke, flustered, as everything suddenly clicked.

He sat upright, allowing her to flop back into the cradle of his half-opened elbow.

Running his fingers over her cheek soothingly, he dried some of the tears as he smiled gently.

"Honey…do you mean when I was talking to Logan at the hospital?"

When she looked away, he moved her head to make her resume eye contact.

After a moment, she nodded slightly.

Gil's lips descended on hers without warning, surprising her as they crushed against her closed mouth.

Pulling back, Gil resumed rocking her slowly as he spoke.

"Honey…you didn't hear all of what I had been saying. I had been explaining to Logan that I was feeling sorry that… I had…you know…_rushed_ things…"

Her gaze told him she was really listening this time.

"I was just sorry that I didn't wait and let you have the kind of wedding you deserved…with our friends there to witness, with Brass as our best man, with Logan to walk you down the aisle…"

His speech conjured up images that made Sara's heart ache.

For as much as their Bellagio wedding was a wonderful memory, the scene he described was one that she had to agree _would_ bring great joy to her heart.

Seeing her thoughtful expression, Gil leaned down and kissed the tip of Sara's nose.

This move elicited the first heartfelt smile he had seen from Sara in some time.

Daring to hope, Gil gulped and asked shyly, "Sara…will you marry me?"

He felt a pain in the middle of his sternum as he saw a myriad of reactions played out in her eyes, moving from surprise to joy to…worry?

Hugging her tightly, he cursed himself for his poor timing.

"Nevermind, sweetheart…we can talk about this another time…"

"No…Gil…" Sara began, and she relaxed again in the security of his embrace.

Cradling her again, Gil allowed Sara time to speak.

When a few moments went by, he could tell she was debating on how to answer him.

Slightly frustrated that, after this monumental breakthrough session they had just endured, Sara was still having concerns on telling him what was on her mind, Gil shook her slightly in an encouraging motion.

"Come on, Sidle…spill…"

As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them.

But his error actually gave Sara the courage she needed to put the cards on the table.

"It's STOKES, now, Gil…and yes…it was of my own request…"

Pausing as to how to finish what she needed to say, Gil asked, "And you had a reason…"

Nodding, Sara said, "Yes."

Reining in his impatience, Gil had to admit at least she was trying to open up to him.

A light suddenly went on, and he turned his head sharply.

"This has to do with the inheritance, doesn't it?"

When she didn't immediately respond, he shook his head and Sara glanced worriedly at him.

"Did you really think _whatever _Nick was giving you was something you needed _so badly_, Sara?"

His question stung, but she could see he was asking without agenda.

Taking a deep breath, Sara found her voice still unsteady as she replied, "Yes…we do…"

Gil pulled her tightly against his chest, as he shook his head in disagreement.

"No, honey…no, we don't….we don't need anything that bastard wants you to have…we don't need him…"

Pulling back, he looked directly into her eyes, "_I_ can give you _everything_ you need, Sara…"

Knowing Gil was speaking without all the facts, Sara's first reaction was to escape from the safety net he was providing, but her heart overruled her actions.

Taking another breath, Sara looked up squarely into his blue eyes, and the understand she found there.

She took his hand that wrapped her warmly in his embrace and brought it up to her lips.

Kissing his palm softly, she kept eye contact as she said, "I know you can give me everything I need, Gil…"

Taking that palm and placing it over her abdomen, she looked up again at him and spoke distinctly, "I just couldn't be sure you would be able to give _us_ everything we need."

She waited for his reaction. Gil's face displayed a kaleidoscope of mental activity.

Confusion at her words.

Review of the evidence.

Understanding of her meaning.

When the last stage was met, Sara braced herself for the inevitable detachment.

_He will be angered at my situation._

_He will blame me for allowing this to happen._

_He will release me from his arms…from his heart…_

_He will leave me._

…and after this tumultuous sharing and soul-bearing, Sara wondered if she might not die without him…

She felt it before she actually saw it.

Snapping her face upwards, Sara realized that a tear had splashed upon the hand that was holding his in place over her abdomen.

Sara's forehead wrinkled, surprised at this reaction.

Afraid to speak, she sat holding his hand as he pressed it further into the flat surface of china white skin.

"Our baby?" he uttered, his words choking off emotionally.

_Oh, no! NO!_

_He thinks it's his…oh, god…he thinks this is his baby…_

_I have to tell him…_

_It's going to hurt him so…_

_Please…please don't leave me, Gil…_

_I'm so sorry…_

_So sorry…_

Sara pulled his hand away and kissed it softly.

She raised her hands to softly frame his face, her tears beginning to fall again.

When he moved to kiss her anxious lips, Sara pulled away.

_Just do it…like removing a bandaid…_

Gil tried again, but Sara placed her hand over his lips.

Her shoulders shook, but she refused his comforting gestures.

"Gil…it's not… _your_ baby…"

The implications of Sara's words hit home immediately, causing Gil to inhale sharply.

Time stood still.

Sara felt in that instant what it must have been like for Gil when he suffered from his hearing loss.

The world stopped moving as she waited for his response.

For the second time this day, Sara was unprepared for Gil's reaction.

Moving backwards slightly, Gil grabbed Sara by the upper arms firmly, forcing her to a position directly in front of him.

Her eyes shot open…_was he going to become violent?_

Her heart racing, she watched the words come out of his mouth, but her fear stopped her from interpreting his choice of language.

When his mouth finished moving, Sara felt herself being shaken ever so slightly.

_There was – anger? – in his eyes…but his grip is not painful…._

_He's speaking…listen, Sara, listen to what he's trying to tell you…_

"Do you understand me, Sara?" Gil was saying in a very agitated tone.

When she did not respond, he yanked her forward as he closely inspected her eyes for signs of trauma.

This caused Sara to blink and to shake her head slightly.

"Sara?" Gil asked now, worriedly.

"Wha-?" she all but whispered.

"Honey…I _said…_ I _never_ want to hear you say those words to me again!"

_He doesn't want this baby._

_I won't get rid of it!_

_If he makes me choose, I choose this little life…she didn't ask to be conceived…_

_I could never do it!_

_He has no right to ask me!_

Again, Gil was shaking her to get her attention.

"Sara! Are you listening to me?"

_Concentrate, Sara…listen to what he has to say…before you need to tell him goodbye…_

Gil could see the situation was taking its toll on Sara, and he wanted to end this difficult discussion and get her back to bed for some needed rest.

Then he planned on having a long talk with Monica…

This time, Gil waited until he had a sign that Sara was finally listening to his words.

"Sara…I don't ever want to hear you tell me…or anyone else…that this is not my baby."

He placed his hand back on her abdomen for emphasis.

"Sara…This. Is. OUR. Baby."

She looked at him in disbelief.

He released her from his grasp and held her tight to him as he rocked her back and forth slowly, placing feather-light kisses against her temple.

"This baby is a part of you. You are a part of me, Sara. Forever.

Those vows we took that night…I meant every word…

For better or for worse…and, god, Sara…we've been through the worst…."

Pulling back to kiss her soundly, the kiss was broken when he smiled against her lips.

"This baby is part of you and we are part of each other's lives now, honey."

He pecked her lips and kissed her still-tearing eyes.

"I love you…and I will love _OUR_ baby,

…and _I_ will be this baby's father,

…and I will take care of _both_ of you,

…and…oh, _god,_ Sara…we're going to be such _a happy family_!"

As he choked out this final statement, both Gil and Sara clung to each other as first the tears fell in earnest, followed by the burying of all the hurt, the struggles, the pain they endured.

Clinging to each other, Gil was the first to utter a glee-filled chuckle, which had Sara soon joining in.

Somehow, Gil managed to raise himself to his feet and pulled Sara up close to him.

"Oh, Sara…I love you so much…" he whispered as he ran his hands up and down her back, as if he couldn't get close enough to her.

Relishing in the feel of his loving embrace, Sara closed her eyes and whispered happily, "Oh, Gil…"


	69. Chapter 69

A/N: Still on holiday, I managed to get up early to write this chapter as everyone else sleeps, as these two wanted to post some fluff for the holiday weekend…more next week…hope your Thanksgiving was as great as ours…your reviews were terrific, and yes they are together now with only a few more twists ahead…hope this pleases… -Kathy

-----------------------

She slept.

He had carried her from their reunion spot into the bedroom.

Lovingly, without a spoken word, he had helped her change into one of his t-shirts and settle under the blankets.

She smiled at his attentions, feeling cherished and important for the first time since the entire kidnapping ordeal began.

Changing into sweat pants, a bare-chested Grissom made his way into bed as she was already reaching for him.

Sara snuggled against the warmth of his body, Gil pulling her almost gruffly against him.

"Sleep, honey," he commanded.

Happy memories of being the sole object of his undivided attentions at the ranch began flooding her thoughts.

She had missed this protective side of Grissom.

Somehow, today, his actions increased her confidence that they could make it through this _together._

Sara closed her eyes and soon fell into a restful slumber – the first in many, many weeks.

Gil, however, remained awake as if on sentry duty.

Throughout the next eight hours, Sara stirred very little while Gil would catnap only to awaken sharply upon realizing he had dozed off.

After the second time, he pulled back slightly as if to take inventory of the precious treasure he held in his arms.

A wry smile bathed his lips as he watched her mouth form a slight pout, the kind it made when she engaged him in a battle of the wits.

He leaned down and kissed her softly on the forehead, whispering "I love you" and increasing the pressure of his hug.

His peace of mind dwindled as their conversation began playing over and over in his head.

_I let him do this…to save you…_

For the first time, Gil was becoming aware that he had not really dealt with this own issues concerning Sara's disappearance and the subsequent agony he had endured personally at the hands of Nick.

His anger was resurfacing, but now with Sara in his arms, another reality was finally set free to confront Gil in the security of his own home.

He wanted revenge.

Looking down at Sara clinging lightly to him as he slept, a tear tried to form but was banished by an increasingly emotional Grissom.

He wanted to throw something.

He wanted to break something.

He wanted to _hurt_ someone…and only one person consumed his thoughts.

In the honesty that only comes in the solitude of the darkness, this pacifist -who always prided himself on using words over fists, intellect over swords- was finally able to admit he was _glad_ Nick was dead.

He was glad, because if the cause of his nightmare had not already departed this life, Gil was sure he would have ended the bastard with his own hands.

And that fact, as out of character as it was, created such turmoil in this man that it made him question just how violent he might actually be under his well-polished facade.

And just how similar he actually was to all those suspects he had interviewed over the years, perpetrators of the most heinous crimes of passion.

As if his anguish had taken form, Sara stirred in his arms and Gil immediately soothed her with soft endearments, angering himself further that his torment had almost interrupted the only real sleep she had in weeks.

So he forced himself to breathe in and out, the action calming him physically while his thoughts raged out of his control.

He needed to do _something_, or this feeling would consume him.

He just wished he knew what that _something _was.

Sara's words continued to play over and over, adrenaline now coursing through his veins as he felt powerless to stop them.

_I let him touch me…over and over again…so he'd let you go free…_

The tear that threatened before now made its escape, with several comrades joining in the trek down Gil's tired countenance.

He released his hold on Sara slightly. As she leaned onto her back a bit, Gil placed a hand softly over her abdomen.

_A baby. We were only together a few times that night…Nick had days to-_

His anger resurfaced, cutting off his airflow as images of Sara bruised, Sara beaten, Sara terrified, Sara screaming, Sara calling for him to help her….

That last thought brought the taste of bile to his mouth, but Gil gulped heavily and reached back for the water bottle on the nightstand.

The cool liquid helped refocus his thoughts, and he pulled Sara closer to him. She was a balm for his aching heart.

A sudden thought created a sense of panic in him.

_I feel so overwhelmed, and I can't bear to merely _speculate_ on what happened out at the cabin…but Sara has been carrying around the _reality_ of that nightmare…and she has been doing it alone…_

The protective side of Grissom burst through his being on every level.

_No more, Sara!…no more hiding it!…no more being victim to it!…_

Today_…today is the first day of our new life together…and we're going to see Monica…we're going to get counseling together…_

_She needs to help us deal with this ordeal…to help us move on past the pain…past the guilt…and I _am_ guilty, Sara…_

_You needed me…and I couldn't protect you…and I was the cause of your leaving with Nick…_

_And I can't live with myself for not shielding you from everything you endured at the hands of that bastard…_

_And I need to find a way to deal with these feelings…before they push you away…because I can't do this without you, honey…I can't be without you ever again…_

The memory of her words challenged his resolve.

_I let him do this…because I needed to know you'd be safe._

He rubbed her back lightly, determination now banishing his anxiety about facing up to his guilty feelings.

_We're going to stop burying these feelings, these memories…we're going to face them…together…._

_And then, we really will bury the past…and raise our child happily._

_OUR child, Sara…and I will show you both daily…you are my world…you are everything to me…_

His resolve in place, Gil glanced at the clock on the nightstand and sighed.

He hoped Sara would sleep for a while longer. Perhaps, he could too, just for a while…

A plan now in place, a very small smile played on his lips as he kissed her hair and closed his eyes…

-----------------

"Are you hungry?" he asked her sweetly.

"I could eat," she said, turning to him smirking saucily while raising her eyebrows seductively, "and probably have some food, too."

"Sa_ra!_" he responded, rolling his eyes that held the twinkle revealing his amusement, "be_have!_"

Looking the picture of innocence, she feigned shock as she placed her hand to cradle the side of his face.

"Why, Gilbert…I'm _always_ good….or so _you've_ told me in the past…"

He placed his hand over hers, loving the feel of her and enjoying the banter of lovers who laze in bed upon awakening.

"Well…_good_ is a relative term," he stated with the mock authority of a college professor correcting a recalcitrant student.

Twisting herself so that they were now face-to-face, Sara blinked coquettishly and replied, "Okay…so…you want me to show you what a _bad girl_ I can be?"

Sara smiled as she watched Gil gulp heavily. Yes…she was getting to him.

Gil began to speak, but found he had to clear his throat and begin a second time as the strangled sound of his first attempt at "Sara…" laid plain his reaction to this current conversation.

"Sara," he began a second time with a surer tone, "I doubt there is _ever _a time making love with you could be classified as _bad_."

Laying soft kisses on his beard, she spoke between her lips' contacts.

"Hmmm…never, huh? Is that some kind of challenge?"

He smiled as he rolled her over suddenly and started an attack of his own, targeted at that soft spot on her neck that have driven him crazy for years.

"Well, I am sure there will always be something good that could come out of making love to you _every _time, even if the time or place were less than perfect."

Sara decided she liked the course of this conversation.

"Really…well, what about…outside of Ecklie's office?" she squeaked out before she groaned at Gil's attentions.

"Well…" he began between kisses, "the rest of the female lab techs would finally see what's they're missing…" he spoke innocently, as Sara burst out in a fit of laughter, causing some discomfort in the healing area of her recent surgery.

"Mmmm" she moaned slightly, and Gil immediately pulled himself up as he checked her over quickly looking for the source of her distress.

"It's okay, Gil…really, just sore," she was quick to assure him, ending her remarks with a meeting of their lips.

Seeing his hesitation, Sara cradled his face and resumed the game.

"What about…out in the desert, in the middle of the night? It can be quite cold…"

Gil found himself relaxing, as he looked down to the wondrous view before him. He loved the way his t-shirt twisted around her body now, revealing her long legs.

He moved his hand over the bottom of the shirt, causing her to inhale sharply.

"Oh, I'm sure we could create enough friction by rubbing two sticks…or _something_…together to create enough heat to keep ourselves warm."

Delighted that she had brought him back onto a mutually enjoyable tract, she smiled that special smile which had always been reserved special for him.

And that was his undoing.

"Sara," was the last word he spoke as he crushed her mouth with his kiss.

Immediately, he knew something had changed.

Gone was the timid scientist who sought to show her pleasure in coupling with this woman whom he loved with his heart and soul.

Now, he felt totally possessive, protective…primal.

He needed her, there was no denying it ever again.

He desired her, not just for her body but for the completeness she brought to his life.

He claimed her, she was forever his better half – a necessary component to his choice to really _live_, rather that merely exist.

Sara moaned as his strong hands moved over every inch of her body, his kisses following the path his fingers etched out upon her skin.

She gasped as he suddenly drew back, his eyes almost grey with desire.

If they had never made love before, she might have been afraid.

Sara continued to look at him, noting his jaw was locked in an uncommon tilt which, when added to his smoldering gaze, made her heart race.

She drew a shocked breath as Gil suddenly straddled her, cradling her face in both of his strong hands.

The usual gentleness was gone as he claimed her with his kiss, and she found herself lost in the heat of his passion.

He was claiming her as his own, marking her with the invisible brand of his want.

Sara responded nervously, the pressure of his lips and the feel of his hands…like the cabin…when Nick-

As if he could read her thoughts, Gil continued to kiss her lips, eyes, cheeks as he spoke.

"_Don't_, Sara…it's just you …and me…and you ARE mine…MINE, Sara!"

Before she could respond, he lifted off her gruffly, his hands leaving her face to slide down to the neckline of the t-shirt.

Any thoughts of the cabin faded quickly as Sara gasped aloud when Gil's hands clenched over the fabric and suddenly ripped the t-shirt fully, exposing her body to his examination.

She had not time to respond, as he looked at her with such wanton desire it made her heart ache.

"I love you, Sara…you…and only you…"

And with that, he laid claim to ever inch of her.

She lifted and writhed beneath him, he placed heated but tender kisses over her healing wounds.

It was primal, punctuated by guttural moans and urgent thrusts.

And when it was over, he remained over her with his weight supported by his strong arms.

Panting slightly, they exchanged their professions of love.

As he slid out, Sara expected him to lie beside her.

Instead, he continued to kneel before her, with that same look in his eye.

Patiently, she waited for him to find the words he wanted to speak.

Instead, he leaned towards her and kissed her abdomen, rubbing his hands lightly over the place where their child was growing.

She gulped as she saw the resolve in his eyes.

"This baby…_our_ baby, Sara…" he stopped speaking, his hands moving possessively over her.

He looked directly into her soul, as he planted the seeds there that would bloom into a confident belief in a "happily ever after".

"I will die before I let anyone hurt either of you again. _Ever_."

He stilled his hands and kissed the spot before moving upwards and placing a punishing kiss against her lips.

Looking her in the eye, she saw his passion on the topic and for the first time in a very long time, Sara felt…safe.

He spoke confidently, like a warrior ready to set out to battle.

"_Never again_, Sara….on my _life_…"

Gil continued to look down upon this woman who made his life complete, not really expecting a response.

His smile was broad as she reached up to cup his face, her eyes reflecting her total trust in his ability to protect her and their baby as she whispered, "Oh, Gil…"


	70. Chapter 70

A/N: These two…I can only say this chapter evolved totally away from the original intent…guess it is time for this story to take another step forward…Rated M for the topic of sexual assault…had me a bit teary at the end…thanks for the great reviews and reader response…this chapter sets up the action for the next few chapters…hope it pleases… more soon…-Kathy

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To say Monica was shocked to hear from Grissom would be an understatement.

To say Monica was pleased to invite them over for a session as soon as they were ready would be just the tip of the iceberg.

But no words would do justice to her reaction when she first laid eyes on them crossing the threshold to her comfortable townhouse.

The first thought that crossed her mind was the new intimacy that their body postures revealed:

the way Gil's hand rested openly and firmly on Sara's lower back…

the way Gil paused briefly as Sara began to sit on the couch, making sure she was comfortable before seating himself in very close proximity to her…

the way Gil claimed her hand almost immediately, as Sara wrapped her slender fingers around the protective grip of his large hands…

The doctor lazed back into the antique chair and glanced down at her own hands before speaking.

"So…why don't you start, Gil, by telling me…why are you here?"

Monica was amazed at the openness with which he answered the question.

On a protracted sigh, Gil squeezed Sara's hand for support as he began, "We…need to stop hiding from each other."

Reflexively, Monica's eyebrows shot up a bit as she nailed Gil with a gaze that spoke to her total attention to his comments.

He cleared his throat, continuing as Sara turned a loving gaze and placed her free hand upon his.

"The baby…_our_ baby…" he paused, cursing himself inwardly as the realization hit that this was the focus of his attention.

Refusing to return Sara's gaze, Gil was silent for a moment. Monica waited.

Finally, "We…Sara and I…well, I…am aware that our baby could possibly have been conceived during Sara's…ordeal…in the cabin…"

Sara turned away from Gil as her eyes welled up at the pain he expressed over that fact, more in his hardened features than in his heartbreaking words.

Immediately, Gil yanked on their joined hands and placed his arm around her, with Sara melting into him as she whispered in his ear, "I'm sorry….Gil, I'm so sorry…"

Monica viewed the exchange with interest, heart racing a bit as Gil's booming voice projected throughout her home.

"No, Sara! You didn't do this! Stop blaming yourself!"

Taking this as her cue, Monica cut to the chase by leaning forward and interrupting Gil's proclamation by saying, "Gil…"

With Sara nestled into the safe haven where his neck and shoulders meet, Gil's arm tightened around her noticeably as his attention was brought back to Monica.

"Gil…so…if Sara is _supposed_ to be blameless in the creation of this baby…who do you want to shoulder the blame?"

_This was a pretty straightforward question, so why am I stuttering to answer it?_

_Nick! He's the one who kidnapped her, took her away against his will…hurt…my Sara…_

_She must have been so scared…was she screaming?...did her abuse her? Had she…called for me?_

_Oh, please…say she didn't call for me…laying there…waiting for me to rescue her…and I never came…_

_I didn't protect her…_

_I'm sorry, Sara…_

At this point, Sara was tilting her head in an attempt to bring Gil out of his introspection.

_He knows the answer! It was Nick!_

_Nick was the one who…gave me the medication that prevented me from defending myself against…_

Sara found the tears forming again, angry droplets this time as she recalled her feeling of frustration in not being able to ward off Nick's advances.

_I just wanted Gil…needed to be with him…and Nick…he wanted to take all that away…_

_My mouth couldn't function, but my brain…was calling for Gil…I needed him…to stop the pain…_

_The pain…_

_Of being …_raped_…by Nick…over and over…_

_Oh…god…he raped me…he…he _raped _me!_

It was the first time Sara had admitted to herself the full reality of what had occurred at the cabin.

Bile forced its way upwards and Sara was now fighting to free herself from the restraints of her true loves caress, violently pulling her hands away from Gil's restraining grip.

"NO!" she screamed, painful aches emanating from her midsection as she was slapping away at the air between Gil and herself, suddenly clutching at her midsection while attempting to cover her mouth from the near-erupting flow.

Instantly, both Monica and Gil were now focused on this woman who had endured so much.

Gil was startled, and began yelling her name while Monica reached over and placed the small trash can next to Sara's feet.

Sara emptied her system of the foul tasting substance, as dry heaves began to overtake her thin frame.

Monica left the room in haste, returning with a water bottle she had opened on her return.

Thrusting it into Sara's open palm, Gil superseded that action as he claimed the bottle in his own grip, tilting it slightly towards Sara's mouth.

She swigged a bit and spit it out before taking another small sip to clear her palate.

Sara's entire body was now limp, the reaction to confronting the painful reality she had banished to her inmost depths.

Her breath returning to normal, she clutched at her abdomen in an attempt to deal with the pain – of both her surgery and her pregnancy.

"Sara?" Gil asked, keeping close but not touching her for fear of setting off another panic attack.

Upon hearing him speak her name, with all the love and security contained within that sound, she closed her eyes to focus solely on that sound…wanting with all her heart to let it lead her back to her Gil.

Glancing worriedly at Monica, she offered Gil a small smile and nudged her head in an encouraging motion as if to tell him _Don't move. Be patient a bit longer. Let Sara take the lead._

His head jerked swiftly towards his love as, with eyes clenched tightly, on a whisper she pleaded,"Gil?", her heart hoping he had not deserted her in the silence that enveloped them.

The insecurity of her tone sent him once again into protective mode, as his arms snaked around her, pulling her into a secure embrace as he kissed her hair repeatedly, whispering endearments and promises into her hair.

"I have you, honey. It's over now. Sara? It's all behind us now. I have you, honey.

No one will hurt you or our baby again. On my life, honey…on my life…"

He breathed easier as he felt her finally returning his embrace. "I love you, Sara."

"Oh, Gil…" she began, but it was all she could utter without the torrents of tears being released.

And she wanted to be stronger than that…to show him that she _was_ stronger than that…

"Here, lie back honey," Gil cooed softly, already removing her clogs and placing her feet upon the couch where moments before he had contemplated what he felt Monica had wrongly assumed was an easy question.

Once Sara seemed settled, Gil sat on the edge of the recliner sofa and reclaimed Sara's hand in his.

They were focused totally on each other, their touches meant to soothe and comfort the other.

Realizing they were almost oblivious to her presence in the room, Monica knew a breakthrough when she saw one.

Continuing seemed the difficult, but ultimately the more productive, route.

Leaning back to regain her relaxed appearance, Monica coughed and regained their attention.

Not missing a beat, the doctor smiled at Sara supportively before leaning forward forcefully, her body language commanding a response.

Leveling Gil with a gaze, Monica disregarded the upset of the prior moments and repeated her earlier query, "Gil…_if_ Sara is supposed to be blameless-"

This time, Gil's eyes widened angrily at the less-than-subtle innuendo of that statement.

His one hand moved backwards possessively towards Sara's abdomen as he leaned menacingly towards Monica, speaking in a loud and irritated voice, "Sara _IS_ blameless in this…if you need to point the finger at someone, then point it at _ME_!"

His words reverberated off the paneled walls, as inwardly both women shuddered in shock.

"Gil…" Sara whispered raspily, her concern centered on what evidence Gil used to create such a ridiculous idea.

Not used to baring his soul, especially to outsiders like Monica whom he barely knew, Gil kept his head down and just continued to softly massage Sara's abdomen.

"Gil," Sara started again as she bolted upright to pull him into her grasp.

"Baby, please…_listen _to me," she pleaded as she hugged him tightly to her.

"This isn't _your _fault. All you ever did was _love_ me. _I_ did this…I never should have gone to meet him…I should have _told_ you he contacted me…I don't know _what _I was thinking…I…I _trusted_ him…and he…he-" was all Sara could get out before the heartbreaking sobs released themselves independent of her desire, overpowering her voice.

Gil yanked her closer, peppering her hair with kisses laced with salty tears.

"God, Sara, no…_NO!_...this _isn't_ your fault…_nothing_ that happened is your fault…I almost lost you…_I almost lost you!..._I wasn't there – when you needed me…_I wasn't there!_…I was never there…" Gil pleaded.

Monica could hear the strains of guilt that must have been embedded for years in Gil's psyche.

She commended him for finally figuring out what he wanted, and taking hold of what seemed to always be his heart's desire.

_But now, the real work begins…_she thought.

Allowing them only the briefest of moments, Monica insisted on pursuing this dialogue.

"So…you say _Sara_ isn't at fault, she says _you_ aren't at fault…tell me, then…who _are_ you going to blame?"

Still clinging to each other, they turned slightly to face Monica – both stunned by her logic.

Straight-faced, Monica glared at them, defying them to make the next move.

It was Sara who spoke.

"Nick…it was Nick who did this…he lied to me…he must have drugged me…he hurt Gil…he threatened -…he threatened to hur-" her voice trembled so that she had to surrender to his embrace as he hid her face in his chest and soothed her with his hands moving over her silky locks.

Monica was not to be put off.

"He threatened to hurt Gil, is that it? Sara? Is that all he did? Sara?"

"That's enough, don't you think?" Gil spoke without taking his eyes off Sara.

"No!" demanded Monica. "I _don't _think that's enough at all. Because I think there is something else that Sara knows…and I think it's time she let us in on what she's been keeping to herself!"

Gil held her tightly, but Monica continued her attack.

Again and again, she called Sara's name, each time goading her with the fact that it was time to say it aloud, to say the words, to let them in on her "little secret".

When her grip on her emotions was finally broken, Sara pushed Gil away from her and forced herself to stand and move away from them.

Hands pulling through her hair so tightly she thought she just might tear it out at the roots, Sara screamed, "No! No it isn't all!"

She moved menacingly towards a docile Monica and spat out the words that bore her pain.

"He raped me! Nick. Raped. ME!

Again! and again! Over! and OVER!

I couldn't move! I couldn't speak.

But I could feel him. I could feel him inside me.

I just wanted it to stop! I wanted him to stop!

He wouldn't stop! He wouldn't stop! Over! and Over-"

Shaking himself from the shock that had held him immobile, Gil moved to stop her rant, and found Sara's fist glancing angrily off his jaw as she struggled with escaping her nightmare and finding her current reality.

He shook off her blow, claiming her wrists securely but not painfully and forcing them behind her so that he could offer her a cocoon of safety in which to calm down.

"Sara…it's done now…please…calm down…I love you…so much, honey…please…calm down…"

Sara stood wrapped in Gil's arms for several minutes before he felt she was calm enough to move back towards the sofa.

"It's okay now, honey," Gil said, "you've gotten it all out in the open now. Now we can deal with it."

Monica, however, remained skeptical.

Her professional intuition was reinforced as she saw Sara's reaction to his final pronouncement, "He's gone now, Sara…he can't hurt you anymore."

The terrified widening of her eyes lasted only a moment, but Monica made the experienced decision to go for broke.

"But…it _isn't_ over, is it Sara?"

"What the hell are you playing at, Monica?" Gil asked heatedly, his eyes searing hatred at her words.

But Monica knew Sara was still hiding – something.

"Why not ask Sara?"

Sara's mind raced to the last time she heard Nick's voice over her cell phone.

_You're mine, Sara…soon, Sara, soon…_

Her eyes watered, familiar terror striking at her very being.

She glanced at Gil, who now was looking at her in a suspicious manner.

_Sara would tell me if there was something…no secrets…and yet, she hadn't told me about the baby…_

His words were pointed.

"_Is _there something else, Sara?"

She shook her head, her eyes pleading.

Sara was surprised at Gil's next statement.

"Leave her alone, Monica," Gil warned, "Sara wouldn't lie to me. If she says there isn't anything else, then there isn't!"

Her eyes, however, never left Sara's tired eyes.

"I'm sorry, Gil," she responded in a relaxed manner, "but I think there actually _is _something Sara isn't telling you."

An angry Grissom can be extremely daunting, but Monica now eyed him without blinking.

Unsettled in spirit, she was now more determined than ever to rid Sara of this last secret that was oppressing her being, stopping her from moving on towards her happy ending.

Attacking again, Monica began to speak to Sara but was interrupted by Gil's sudden standing in front of Sara, blocking her view of the doctor.

"I said…enough!" Gil bellowed, staring down the doctor.

Knowing it was crucial for Sara to get it out in the open, Monica continued to speak to Sara though she could not see her.

"How about it, Sara? Are you going to let Gil in on this last little secret?"

Without speaking, Gil turned and began to pull Sara into a sitting position. "Let's go, honey."

Once they were both on their feet, Sara still continuing to divert her gaze from the doctor, Monica knew it was her last chance to reach her.

"Fine. So…_Nick wins_."

The mention of his name brought Sara's gaze to meet Monica's determined eyes.

"Don't tell. And it will never be over."

Gil's movements stilled when he realized Sara was not following his first steps.

"Sara? C'mon, honey…"

But Sara was now just staring at Monica.

The tough love façade over, Monica now moved so that only the coffee table separated them.

"It's time to move on, Sara…and we're all here to help you…but you have to make the first step."

Monica spoke and held her breath.

Speechless, Gil's gaze volleyed from Monica to Sara.

Sara had never felt so alone.

_If I tell them…that I keep hearing Nick's voice on my cell phone…_

_Gil will leave me…he'll think I've gone insane…_

_Monica won't believe me…she'll put me away…oh, god, no!... _

_They'll lock me away…my baby…I can't do that to my baby…._

_But…my baby…_

_It can't be good for her, carrying around all this stress and upset…_

_And Nick…_

_I can't take another call…I feel so alone…_

She turned as she felt Gil's arm around her waist.

Looking into his eyes, she saw worry…but the determination to be with her.

_He says he loves me…that he will never leave me…_

_I have to trust him..._

_I trusted Nick…but he hurt me…_

_Gil isn't like Nick…isn't _anything_ like Nick…I have to trust him…I have to…_

"Gil-" Sara said softly and looked directly into his worried blue eyes.

"Sit down, Sara," Monica commanded, and Sara's body complied instantly.

Within a heartbeat, Gil sat beside her and took her trembling fingers into the safety of his strong hands.

"What is it, Sara?" he asked softly, never taking his eyes from hers.

But Sara couldn't look into his.

Quietly, she began her tale.

_Of the first time she heard Nick's voice on her cell phone._

_Of the worry over the other calls._

_How she knew it was crazy, but she would swear... on her life that _it was_ him…it was…_

_And…how he was saying…over and over…_

"…that I was his…always…only his…and that….that we would be…" her voice broke, but she shook her head to continue almost breathlessly, "…together…soon…"

Silence enveloped the room.

Monica sat with her hand over her mouth.

She had suspected something…but not _anything _like this.

In professional mode, she took in Sara's demeanor as she related what on paper would seem like a classic dissociative event.

But Sara's emotions over the words, coupled by the secretive timing of the calls …_always at the lab and whenever she was alone…_brought Monica to a different diagnosis.

Gil had yet to respond, taken completely off-guard by Sara's statements.

Again, Sara spoke.

Raising her eyes to Gil, she looked to find the disbelief and the disgust she just knew would be there in those icy blue depths.

Instead, she felt his hand caress her face as he lowered his lips to touch hers lightly.

His words surprised her more.

"Sara…thank you for telling me about this…honey…someone is trying hard to hurt you…I don't know how or why…but I promise you…I promise you, Sara…I will find out…but-"

He had to brace himself for this next question. He needed to know.

"Sara? You know it isn't Nick, right? I mean…you _do_ know that Nick is…dead…right?"

Her answer sent a wave of relief over them both.

Hugging him tightly, Sara sighed and said, "I do…_I do_…I- I just want to make it stop…make the calls stop…I can't bear to hear his voice again…I don't want to be _afraid_ anymore…"

Gil protectively hugged her to himself, his mind reeling with its attempts to arrange the disorder of the facts so that he could decide on the first logical step towards ending her latest nightmare.

But it was Monica's turn to interrupt his thoughts.

"Sara-" she spoke, and fear raced through Sara's body.

_Please…no medication…no hospitals…please, Monica…please…believe me…_

Having moved forward without notice, Sara jumped slightly at the feel of Monica's sure grip on her forearm.

Reading Sara's thoughts, Monica tried to smile reassuringly, but her worry shone through.

Not having the words to speak to Sara, Monica kept her grip on Sara's forearm as she addressed her concerns to Gil.

"Gil, you need to take her-"

"NO!" Sara pulled back but was caught quickly back into Gil's protective grip.

"Sara stays with me," Gil said definitively. Both of them were surprised by Monica's response.

"Good!"

"G-good?" Sara stuttered, emotions and confusion making her slightly woozy.

Monica pointedly stared at Gil and continued, "Gil, as I started to say, you need to take her home and let her get some rest. I wouldn't leave her alone…_at any time_…until you get to the bottom of this…

_and_…I would call that detective friend of yours and let him know what's been going on."

Turning to Sara, Monica swept a stray lock behind her ear.

Smiling softly, she said, "You done good, kid. Now it's all out in the open. _Now_ we can help you deal with all this crap you've been burying yourself with."

Turning to Gil, she patted his arm as she continued to look at Sara, "Now…you're not alone _anymore_…"

Sara looked at Gil with the most adoring gaze. He instantly fell in love with this strong woman all over again.

His voice wobbled slightly as he hugged her close and whispered, "Let's go home, honey. Let's go home and you can let me take care of you." With questioning eyes he added, "Trust me?"

Tired beyond words, Sara could only smile at Monica as she turned her eyes to the man she trusted with her life, and said only, "Oh, Gil…"


	71. Chapter 71

A/N: Posting after a hectic weekend…one more chapter of smiles as the action within sets the stage for the next curves ahead…your wonderful reviews and tremendous reader support makes me grateful…hoping to post again this week…you remain terrific as always…hope this pleases… -Kathy

-------------

On the way back to the townhouse, Gil clicked on his cell phone and found several text messages from Brass, urging him to contact Jim ASAP.

There was also a voicemail from Warrick, which Gil decided to delay listening to until he had Sara comfortably settled for a rest.

As he stopped at an intersection, Gil casually moved his head to check on her and frowned slightly at the faraway look painted across her unreadable brown eyes.

His hand snaked across the console to grasp her delicate fingers that lay limp across her stretched out legs.

It wasn't until Gil tugged on her hand lightly that Sara even realized his attempt to connect with her.

When she did little more than avoid his eyes, Gil began to worry about the toll the visit to Monica's would have on Sara's already frail constitution.

The remainder of the ride home was spent with Sara wondering how this man, whom she loved more than life itself, was going to be able to deal with her brokenness, while Gil wondered silently how he was going to get Sara to trust him enough to really be her light at the end of the tunnel…

------------

Meanwhile, a fuming Ecklie tried to display an air of nonchalance while his insides were revolting against the Sheriff's most recent dictates.

Nearing his office, Conrad kept his eyes averted from all those who might attempt to engage him in conversation.

Not that he would have really paid attention anyway, as the surreal meeting with the Sheriff continued to replay before his eyes.

Having been called to the Sheriff's Office earlier, Ecklie smugly entered – only to have his whole world turned upside down by the sight of the Sheriff engaged in conversation with Jim Brass.

Quickly seating himself, the Sheriff nodded to Brass who sat across from Ecklie looking like the cat that caught the canary.

The door closed behind him. Sheriff dove right in.

"Conrad, it has come to my attention that you have enlisted Sofia Curtis to work exclusively with Sara Sidle, is that correct?"

Suddenly not worrying where this conversation was going, Conrad relaxed.

He knew that assignments were under his purview, so this little meeting can't have anything to do with him making the wrong move.

Nodding in assent, the lab director turned towards Brass and was slightly shocked at the thinly veiled anger he read within the detective's posture.

"Well then, I guess I'll begin this little get-together by countermanding that order and placing Curtis under Brass' supervision – for the time begin, of course," the Sheriff began evenly, his body language indicating that this move was not negotiable.

"May I ask _why_ my duty roster is suddenly so _critically important_ to Detective Brass?" Ecklie fumed internally, yet his tone disclosed much of his annoyance.

"Oh, sure, Conrad," Brass quipped jovially, "you may ask…but I don't believe Sheriff's tellin'  
"

Outraged at Brass' cheekiness, Ecklie's eyes swung towards the Sheriff, only to find that he had moved around his desk and was now leaning back onto the front of his polished desk, directly before Conrad's chair.

"Furthermore," the Sheriff continued as if the previous detour in conversation had never occurred, "until further notice, I expect that any encounters you will have with Sofia Curtis be documented "off the record" to my attention, is that clear, Conrad?"

A few beads of sweat began to roll down Ecklie's back, and his shirt collar was feeling a bit tighter than before.

_Whatever you've been playing at, Brass, you're going to regret the day you tangled with Conrad Ecklie!!_

Forcing a smile to his lips, Ecklie appeared the picture of acquiescence to the Sheriff's authority.

"As you wish, Sheriff, although I must interject here that I feel –"

"Oh, and Conrad," the Sheriff continued to prevent any dissenting comments being directed his way, "I'm sure I don't have to point out, in the interest of your career, that these arrangements are not to be discussed outside of this room…do I?"

The next thing he knew, without being given a chance to address his concerns, Conrad found himself being ushered out into the hallway…

That is how Ecklie found himself walking past the break room, his eyes falling upon the assignment chart.

The listings made his forward pace grind to a halt.

The board registered that Gil and Sara would be out on sick leave until the end of the week.

_Sidle!_

_Why can't I shake this feeling that all this uproar has _her_ as the catalyst?_

_And now…now she has Grissom to "protect" her…_just_ what I needed…_

_This day just keeps getting worse by the minute…_

Storming down the hallway like a man on a mission, Ecklie was steaming as his thoughts rang to Sara's abject disregard for his authority, Grissom's cutting remarks directed to him whenever their arguments centered on Sara, the way Gil always felt he needed to protect her…

Suddenly, a light went on for Ecklie.

_Did Brass feel Sidle needed protection…from Sofia?_

The thought was so ludicrous, Conrad's face fell into a disbelieving smirk.

And yet…some things did add up…

_Was " poor, unfortunate Sara" feeling "overwhelmed" by having to partner with a "real woman"?_

_Well, Sofia doesn't need to put up with this type of office politics…_

_I know I said I wouldn't discuss the meeting details outside the Sheriff's office…but that doesn't mean a friend can't help a friend…_

And with a spring in his step, Conrad bypassed his office and made his way to down the corridor to Personnel…

_----_

Once inside the townhouse, Gil tried to get Sara to relax a bit.

"Honey, how about some hot lemonade with cinnamon?" Gil asked quietly as he removed her jacket hoping her favorite drink would soothe her.

"No, thanks…how about some coffee? I can make it-" Sara began, but found Gil's hand weighing heavily on her shoulder as it forced her to sit in the captain's chair at the dining room table.

"Sorry, honey…but Daniel ruled out coffee and tea for a while, at least until your next visit."

Pouting slightly, Sara huffed silently and refused to look at Grissom.

"I could make you some broth? Maybe you're hungry? There's some vegetables and I could-"

"NO!" she answered in an irritated tone, then backtracked her anger as she saw his reaction, "I-…no, thanks."

Shaking his head in understanding, Gil tried to lighten the mood.

"How about a milkshake? A small one? You really should have something, Sara…the baby-"

_The baby. Nick's baby. NO…she's MY baby now…_

She sighed inwardly, her shoulders slumped tiredly.

_God, I just want this baby to be alright after everything I've put it through lately…_

The quiet reverberated off the dining room walls. She realized Gil was standing there awkwardly, waiting for her response.

Without meeting his gaze, Sara nodded slowly.

Glad for the reprieve from the tension, Gil opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it and turned towards the kitchen, leaving Sara alone with her thoughts.

Sighing, she turned towards the empty doorway.

_What is wrong with me? He's only trying to make me feel better!_

_Why am I so angry? Gil didn't do anything to deserve this attitude!_

_But I am… just annoyed with the world…_

Sara hung her head and looked across the table…and saw _them_ laying there.

Her lips curled angrily as she found herself on her feet racing to the other side of the tablecloth.

Her new CSI credentials lay where she had left them earlier that day, mocking her peace of mind.

_Sara Stokes._

For a second, Sara looked almost forlorn as she glanced towards the kitchen where Grissom could be heard but not seen.

As if at a movie premier, the events and revelations from their session with Monica flashed before her eyes.

She was becoming unglued. Facing the truth of her ordeal at the cabin caused something under her docile exterior to snap.

Suddenly rage filled every pore, anger oozed out of every thought.

Sara's mind screamed, _I want you out of my life, Nick! Leave me _alon_e! Just leave me _alone_, Nick!_

With one swoop, Sara's arm motion scattered the newly named identification items, sending them sailing through the air and crashing unceremoniously against the wallpaper nearby.

At the sound of the crash, Gil came flying through the doorway, concern etched deeply in his countenance.

The room was empty.

Worry for Sara escalating, Gil called her name in a panic as he moved from the dining room through the living room, stopping finally at the bathroom door which had been partially pushed shut.

His heart ached as he saw his love on her knees retching in what seemed like unending waves of nausea.

Reaching her in a heartbeat, Gil rubbed her back and pulled her curls away from her face, his voice finally reaching through her upset, soothing her.

Sitting back on her haunches to indicate she was done being sick, Gil helped raise her to her feet and lifted her gently to sit upon the marble counter between the twin sinks.

Running the water to wet a cloth, Gil applied a cool compress to her lips and chin before rinsing it and reapplying it to her sweaty brown and tear stained eyes.

Sara's arms hung limply at her sides, and she took great solace from his silent attentions.

When he was satisfied the little sips of water were going to stay down, Gil surprised Sara again by lifting her easily into his arms, carrying her towards the bedroom.

Undressing her from the street clothes she had donned for their appointment with Monica, Gil bit back a sob as his thoughts flashbacked to helping Sara dress for their wedding.

He needed to focus. This was not about him, now. This was about helping Sara get over the ugly truth that she had painfully released today.

Moving her to lay back on the pillows, Gil covered her with the cotton coverlet, before moving to the other side of the bed.

Kicking off his shoes, he found her in two moves and pulled her tightly into his embrace.

Gil continued to watch Sara silently as she moved to make herself comfortable, her tired eyes refusing to stay open.

The last vestige of her denial had been shed. Sleep found her easily now.

And so Sara slept as Gil stood watch over her.

The shadows infiltrated the window covering barrier, indicating the passage of time, but he refused to release his hold on her.

Hours past, as Gil at last drifted off, his dreams reviewing the complete details of their relationship, centering around

the day that he almost lost her to the landslide,

his despair of having to relinquish his claim on her when Nick arrived at the ranch,

his stupidity for leaving her there and his thankfulness that he could find his way back to her, their reunion…

their wedding…

her…kidnapping…

waking up to find her gone…

Reliving that nightmare caused him to awaken with a start.

His heart rate returning to normal, Gil glanced down at the sleeping beauty in his arms.

_I'm here, honey…I'm not going anywhere…you will be mine, now…forever…_

That thought caused him to remember something with a sudden jolt of excitement.

He was so focused on his delight, Gil failed to notice Sara was now fully awake and staring at him with curiosity.

He opened his mouth to speak, turning slightly towards the nightstand as he did, when his words were interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone.

Sara moved away so he could answer it, and instantly they both mourned the loss of the comfort imbedded in the touching of their bodies.

Gil sighed as he realized it was the third time today Brass had tried to contact him, and with the slightest bit of guilt he hoped it was good news that his friend needed to impart.

Nodding, grunting, and sighing, Gil agreed to whatever Brass was saying and seemed to disconnect without even saying goodbye.

Sara lay propped up on pillows, watching the one-sided view of the conversation with interest.

She became suspicious, however, when Gil continued to hold his cell phone for almost a full minute after Jim's call ended.

Finally, seeing that Gil was deep in thought, Sara placed her hand softly on his forearm, making him jerk around to look at her with eyes that seemed almost surprised to see her laying there.

She was even more surprised when Gil leaned forward and kissed her passionately, with a longing that touched her very soul.

Breaking the kiss as the demands for air could no longer be denied, Gil sat up against the headboard and pulled Sara closer to him.

His smile was infectious, and Sara's curiosity was piqued.

"OK, Grissom…spill…" she teased, elbowing him teasingly.

"Here," Gil smiled, "I want you to have this."

"Your cell phone?" she asked incredulously, shaking her head to make sense of his nonsense.

Gil refused to speak, content to watch Sara sort through contradictory information to formulate a plan of attack in dealing with seemingly random evidence.

He loved to watch her mind at work.

He loved to watch her hold still while observing evidence, knowing her synapses were exploding while making new connections, discarding dead ends while recreating her premise.

He loved to _watch_ her.

He loved _her._

Turning the leather-cased phone over and over in her hand, Sara looked up once or twice but Gil refused to give her any additional information.

Intrigued by the mystery, Sara flipped open the phone which indicated the hour, the number of missed calls and text messages…but did not yield any answers.

Narrowing her gaze as she smirked at his challenge, Sara held the phone and tried to think of what he was trying to tell her.

_Calls…messages…he has a message for me…he is calling me…no, no, no…_

_He wouldn't be that cryptic…no, there is something else here…maybe…_

_Maybe it doesn't have to do with the phone...or the messages or the calls…_

_He is giving me something that belongs to him…something that's his and now it's mine…_

_No, no, no…think, Sara…think…_

_Ignore the obvious, disregard the ludicrous, then all that's left is the truth…_

_Think outside the box…outside the box…the box…_

Gil smiled as he watched Sara making the connection.

Her long fingers turned over the phone and unsnapped it from its case.

She examined the inside of the leather case snap, turning the case absently as she was disappointed to not find a hidden message upon opening it.

Looking inquiringly at Gil, she was bolstered by his half-faced grin.

Moving slightly backwards, Sara smoothed the coverlet and tapped the closed edge of the case, tilting it so that the phone would fall out onto her lap.

And her actions did just that.

But Sara was _not_ prepared for the platinum rings that tumbled out after her second round of gentle taps.

Sucking in a sharp breath, Sara's eyes moved from the rings that had graced her fingers weeks ago for not longer than a calendar day, what now seemed like another lifetime ago.

Shaking hands flew to her eyes, the sheer emotion of the moment almost too much to bear.

When she felt his hand soothingly comforting her hunched over shoulders, Sara raised her eyes to meet Gil's loving gaze.

"Sara…I love you…

You have my heart. Forever.

You have all my love. Forever.

And now, I want to give you my name.

To make you my wife. Forever."

Sara sat speechless, wondering if she had forgotten how to breathe.

_I didn't think he'd want me…not now…after…everything…_

_I'm damaged. _

Can_ he still want me? Is he _really_ still able to love me with that _forever_ kind of love?_

As if Gil was reading her mind, he reached out and slid the engagement ring over her slender finger.

Holding onto her hand, he continued to speak softly even though he could see some internal debate still worrying her.

"Sara…my _sweet_ Sara…

You make me whole.

You make me a better person just by knowing you.

You have gotten through all the walls I put up around my heart, desperate to keep you out.

But it was an exercise in futility, Sara.

Because you got in…from the very first time I saw you, you captured my attention, honey.

I pushed and pushed, but you wormed your way in to my heart.

Every look, every touch, every kindness…made me love you more…even when I didn't want to believe it could be true."

Sara looked deeply into his eyes which were locked onto her dark orbs, begging for belief that what he was saying came from his heart.

"Sara, I almost lost you for good this time.

And all the while I was looking for you, I kept thinking of all the time I wasted pushing away the one person who makes my life worth living."

Sara lowered her head, afraid to believe that after everything that had happened this wonderful man could still really love her this much.

Gil placed his fingers softly under her chin, raising her head to within inches of his own.

"I don't want to ever be without you again, Sara.

I love you.

You are my life.

I need to help us get past the horrible things that happened to us, especially everything you went through at the cabin.

I need to help us find our way back to each other, honey.

I want to make you my wife…be together to make a life… a life I never thought possible…a life with you…forever…"

Pulling her suddenly against his chest, Gil shifted her slightly in his arms so that her head rested in the cradle of his embrace.

He kissed her softly, then raised her hand to display the engagement ring that had been sheltered inside his cellphone case until a time he could put it back where it had always belonged.

"Sara…my darling Sara…please…will you marry me?...forever, this time?"

He held his breath as he realized she was just staring at him.

But her stare was the result of a total reordering of her thoughts and suppositions about his man.

_He _does_ love me..._

_He really _does_ want to make his live with me._

_He carried around these rings…_my_ rings…next to him…all the time I was gone…_

_He let me in...even after all the times he tried to push me away…_

_But he couldn't push me too far because…because he _loves_ me!_

_He is trusting me with his heart…_

_And _I _can trust _him_…I know this now…and he _would_ never hurt me…_

_Not like Hank…not like Nick…_

_He's not like any of them…_

_He's not like any man I have ever known…_

_He's…mine…_

Just as Gil was beginning to think of ways to make a graceful exit, suddenly Sara exhaled sharply and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Yes! Yes, Gil…oh, Gil…thank you for loving me…"

There was more she wanted to say, but smiling lips came crashing down on hers preventing further speech.

After a mini-eternity enraptured in each other's arms, the two lovers lay back down under the covers, happily staring into each other's eyes.

"I love you, Sara…thank you for loving me…I'll spend the rest of my life making sure we are the happiest husband and wife who have ever lived."

After sealing his promise with a kiss, Sara was suddenly overcome with a fit of giggles.

Sitting up and throwing herself into his welcoming arms, Sara couldn't stop herself from squealing aloud in the happiest sound she had made in years, "Oh, Gil!"


	72. Chapter 72

A/N: A late night post because these two insisted on whispering their tale to me all day today...the twists are unraveling...but the GSR remains intact...thanks to all who read and especially those who left those outstanding reviews...your comments are so welcomed...and your support of this tale shows you are just amazingly terrific...more soon as possible...hope this pleases... - Kathy

----------

Sofia sat on the bench in the locker room, trying to make sense of the occurrences over the last half hour.

She had come in early, hoping to find Sara alone in the locker room or break room, prepared to set up the scene for another round of "emotional roulette".

Instead, she found herself facing the assignment board which boasted that both Sara and Grissom would be off for the next few days.

_Together. Gil Grissom, the man with the reputation for the most unused sick days ever recorded by Personnel in the history of the LV Crime Lab…this man is taking a sick day at the same time as Sara…and we are supposed to believe it is a _coincidence?

Sofia seethed at what she saw as Sara's conniving, her anger fueling her outburst as both Warrick and Brass entered the room and read the assignment board with interest.

"Some coincidence, huh?" Sofia spoke, her bitterness barely hidden.

"Oh, Curtis, no _coincidence_ at all…in fact," Brass moved towards her as he spoke, now standing a breath away, "I'm sure hoping they are enjoying every minute of _alone time_, if you get my drift!"

He smiled smugly at Sofia's discomfort.

Warrick sat across from her now without comment, his eyes never leaving hers as if his glare was answer enough.

Sofia shifted slightly under Warrick's glare, but engaged Brass in conversation.

"So…without having to babysit Sara, wonder what Con-, I mean, Ecklie has in mind for me tonight?" she said aloud, her innuendo and false slip-up not lost on either man.

"Conrad? Well, I wouldn't know about that. But as for you, little lady," Brass spoke condescendingly, igniting Sofia's ire, "_you_ are mine tonight."

Staring between the two men, Sofia tried to make sense of this new situation.

An uncomfortable feeling seized her imagination, and for the first time in many months she was at a loss for words.

Taking her silence as a cue to continue, Brass moved to hover over her a bit before continuing with all the saccharine sweetness he could muster, "Oh, but don't worry. Warrick here will be your partner tonight. All night."

Something in the way he spoke was leading Sofia to wonder if he suspected that she was involved in Sara's latest nightmare.

Reacting quickly with practiced charm, Sofia leaned over the table edge slightly as her ample charms scraped the polished wooden edge as she smiled coquettishly and replied, "Well…lucky me to be stuck with Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome."

Warrick was out of his chair in a heartbeat, large feet pounding towards the door as he replied over his shoulder, "I'll be in with Archie if you need me, Brass."

And before anyone could protest, he was gone.

Brass, now alone with Sofia, sat in Warrick's vacated chair and reclined easily in it.

Sofia took his posture as an invitation to chat. And there was much she needed to learn.

"So, _Jim_, what shakeup occurred that brought you back to your roots?" she asked, referencing his past leadership of the crime lab.

"Just slumming, I guess," his reply instinctive, his meaning clear.

Sofia tried another avenue.

"As I said, back to your roots," the jab not unnoticed by a still smiling Brass.

"Anyway, should Warrick get too involved in evidence review, you know I am more than willing to go solo if you need me."

Brass leaned forward and smiled broadly before answering, "I can't imagine _anything_ that would make me leave _you _alone tonight, Sofia."

And for the first time tonight, Sofia and Brass were totally understanding of each other.

Suddenly, Sofia found herself standing as she prepared to leave the room.

"Where are you going, Sofia?" Brass asked evenly.

"Why? Am I under surveillance now?" she spit out, allowing Jim to enjoy her unease a bit too much.

"No…no…" he said coolly, the smile never leaving his face.

"Just wanted to know in case a call comes in," he spoke, gathering the files he had set on the table.

_You idiot! He's baiting you, and you are falling into his trap! Calm, Sofia! Don't play the game!_

Straightening her posture, Sofia fingered a patch of blonde hair almost seductively over her shoulders before replying, "Well, then…I'll be in the locker room…freshening up…"

Then, with threatening innuendo, she threw down the gauntlet.

"You and Warrick…come and get me…_I'll be ready_…"

With that, Sofia strutted down the hall as Brass' eyes narrowed angrily at her challenge.

_Oh, don't worry, Sofia…we are onto you now…make another move to hurt Sara and _we will _be coming to get you…and soon…_

_----------_

They had talked well into the night before sleep claimed them a second time.

As she woke again from a restorative sleep unencumbered by nightmares, Sara stretched out onto the warmth of the bedding, and noticed Gil's side of the bed was empty and cold.

Alarmed, she checked her left hand – more to reassure herself that the engagement was not just another perfect dream.

She smiled as she saw the platinum and diamonds glinting softly in the indirect sunlight escaping from the window covering.

As she straightened the coverlet over her legs, she found the hint of a bent corner of notebook paper peering out from under Gil's covers.

Reaching for it, she smiled as she recognized the handwriting.

_My Sara,_

_How I love to see those words. Can't wait until I can give you a good morning kiss on the day after we marry, forever._

_I have some errands to run, your prescription to refill, and some food to buy._

_I won't be longer that I need to be, so desperate am I to hold my future wife in my arms again._

_I love you._

_Forever,  
Gil_

Sara read, and reread, the message several times, hugging the blankets closer to herself as she realized again that this morning, as last night, she felt…happy.

The realization made her almost giddy. Happy. Sara was happy!

Recalling their rendezvous at the ranch and at their Bellagio wedding night, Sara smiled and realized that her happiest memories all centered on Gil being with her.

She loved him.

She was going to marry him.

Soon.

Suddenly, Sara just couldn't contain her excitement.

For a split second, she let doubt reclaim her resolve.

_What would Gil say?_

_What would Gil say if…if I started making some firm plans for our wedding…_

_No…maybe I should wait and talk to him about it…_

_I wouldn't want him to think I was forcing him or-_

Her conscience stopped those thoughts in their tracks.

_He loves you, Sara._

_He wants to be married to you as soon as possible, isn't that what he said over and over and over and over last night?_

_Sure, last time you were too injured to plan, and he took care of it all._

_But now, you are perfectly capable of taking charge of some of the details._

_You can tell him what you have decided to do, and then talk over the fine points together._

_He will be happy you are doing this!_

_He loves you!_

_Now, go on…get planning!_

She hesitated about where to begin.

Sara decided to begin with telling Logan and Lillian about the wedding, hoping Logan would be happy for them…and maybe give her away at the ceremony…

She moved to grab her cell phone, but her hands hesitated over the device.

She was afraid to turn on the phone, afraid of what messages might be lurking there in wait.

Sara tried again to force herself to turn on the device, in vain, and finally bounced back roughly onto the pillow as she tried to calm her racing heartbeat.

Determination, though, is a powerful tool for overcoming the feared thing.

With her jaw locked, Sara sat up and swung her feet over the side of the bed as she reached for Gil's house phone nestled snugly in its bedside cradle.

Punching in the memorized numbers of her AT&T calling card, Sara dialed the ranch's number and smiled as she waited for someone to answer.

Hearing Emma Anne's voice, she did not allow her to complete the traditional greeting before shouting, "Emma Anne! It's Sara, how are you?"

The two talked for over five minutes, as friends excited to be reunited.

Finally, "It was great to talk to you, but um, is Logan around by any chance?" Sara spoke as she looked at the alarm clock next to her.

"Just one moment, Sara honey," Emma Anne drawled, setting the phone down and sprinting through to the kitchen.

Sara twisted the phone cord absently, her fingers betraying her anxiety at Logan's reaction to her news.

In a heartbeat, her heart swelled with the joy evident in the delighted cries from the other end, "Sara, darlin'!"

She realized that both Logan and Lillian were there, most likely on speakerphone.

"Hi, Dad! Lillian!" Sara's smile reaching through the lines.

"How are you, darlin'? Everything alright?" Logan queried, his concern warming Sara's heart.

"We're fine, Dad, just fine," she said, as she continued happily.

Her face, however, would have fallen slightly if she had seen the momentary facial reaction to her use of the word "we".

"That's fine, darlin'. Uh, and Gil?" he continued, asking mostly because of his daughter's involvement with the man more than his genuine interest in the topic.

"Well," Sara just about gushed, "that's actually why I'm calling, Dad. The most incredible-"

"Sara, dear," Lillian interjected with a smile, "we were planning on calling you just today," she said with her usual all-business air.

"Oh, well…I am glad I called then," Sara's brow furrowed a bit, "something you needed?"

"Well, actually," Lillian began but was cut off by Logan.

"Sara, what your mother is trying to tell you," he interrupted, and Sara was glad they could not see her reaction to his reference to Lillian as her "mother".

Sara was more than happy to replace the void in her life that occurred with her father's death.

But she really had no more stomach for another "mother' in her life – the heartache brought on by her biological mother did enough emotional damage to last a lifetime.

Still, in the hospital she and Lillian had forged a tentative bond caused by Nick's death, and Sara decided to let it pass and refocus on what they were both now trying to tell her.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" Sara asked, as she had zoned out momentarily on their discussion.

"Well, it must really be overwhelming, darling, and we can sort out the details later. Right now, just knowing that you are now officially part of the Stokes clan is enough to see us through…the rough spots…" Lillian ended on a choke.

The silence on the other end was deafening as Sara closed her eyes and wished she had decided to write a letter instead of making this call.

"Darlin', you alright?" Logan asked with such concern, a tear rolled from her eyes at the loving feel it generated within her.

She had missed him.

Missed them both actually.

Messy, frustrating, their dealings overly complicated.

Sara could think of a million words to describe their very exasperating relationship.

But now, as she lay her hand over her abdomen, only one word really came to mind.

_Family._

And suddenly, Sara felt the need to connect with these parental figures in a way she never had before.

Without thought, she blurted out into the receiver, "I'm pregnant."

From both sides of the line came the sound of startled inhaled breaths.

_Smooth, Sara…could you be any less sensitive?..._

However, the news – while shocking – seemed to bring Lillian out of her stupor.

"A baby? Oh, Sara…" the mother spoke excitedly, her hands over her heart and her shaking lips.

"Darlin'…are you alright? Feeling alright? The baby alright? You know, you've had quite a time of it and-"

Sara became uneasy at the abrupt cessation of Logan's speech.

In her mind's eye she could almost see them looking at each other, piecing together the fragments of the recent past and putting two and two together to reach the same conclusion Sara had come to a few weeks ago.

Moving ahead, hoping to get her real message out before baby talk waylaid the effort, Sara silently took a deep breath and added,

"And Gil and I have decided to marry...soon…Dad?…and I want…we want…I'd _like_ it if you and Lillian would please be here for our special day."

Met with silence again, Sara fidgeted with the phone cord anxiously.

After another heartbeat, Lillian's voice reached across the line with a strange timbre that caused Sara's heart to sink to her knees.

"Sara…it's _Nick's _baby…isn't it?"

A streetsmart person would have said _no_.

An intelligent person would have said there was _no way of knowing_ at this time.

A savvy person would have reminded Lillian that _she and Gil_ had a honeymoon night before her kidnapping.

But Sara wasn't feeling streetsmart, intelligent, or particularly savvy.

Instead, she answered from the truthful depths of her mother's intuition.

"Yes."

Silence again, as clarity was forming in the minds of the couple in Texas, while a sense of utter dismay descended upon Sara as she sat alone upon the bed where hours before she and Gil had shared the happiest night of Sara's life.

"I see."

That cryptic response from Lillian brought back all the painful aggravation Sara had experience while staying in Texas.

"Sara," Logan began what he considered to be arguably the most emotional plea in his long legal career, "you're bearing his child…you've just changed your name…why the rush?...perhaps…perhaps it would be better to take a while…for yourself…not hurry into a…marriage…you might not actually want…"

Of course, he knew deep down that Sara and Gil were meant to be together, but…this was _his grandchild_ they were talking about here…maybe a boy…to carry on the family name…

Lillian picked up on those thoughts and turned back to the phone, her hand still over her heart.

"Sara! This is _our grandchild_ we're talking about here! A STOKES grandchild!"

Sara found herself wincing on the other end, the receiver becoming heavier and heavier to hold.

"This child stands to inherit what Nick inherited. Think about this child, Sara. For once, stop thinking about yourself! Think about your child – our _grandchild_!"

This was going badly. Sara wanted to hide in a corner, wanted to run away from the familiar pangs of pain.

_This_ was the Lillian she remembered.

Anger built inside of Sara, just as it had the other day when she spotted the credentials on Gil's dining room table.

_Nick had made me a victim…but no more!_

_No more, Nick!_

_I am not going to let you hurt me anymore!_

_No more!_

"No more, do you hear me!" Sara yelled into the receiver, although the message was not originally directed at the stunned couple on the other end.

"Sara!" Logan cried, but she would not yield the floor.

"No! YOU listen to ME now!"

She was puffing out breaths, glad she was seated or surely she would collapse to the ground any second now.

"This child is MINE…do you understand that?

And whether I DO or DO NOT acknowledge Nick as the father is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

You say you want me to be part of your family? WHY? So you can CONTROL my LIFE?!?"

Sara's face was moist with falling tears, but she swiped them away as her anger reached new limits.

Her voice had become gravelly as she choked on the strong emotions overwhelming her.

"_I_ decide _who_ it is I live with, _who_ it is I marry, _who_ it is I love…and I LOVE GIL GRISSOM!"

She was standing now, nausea at her heightened emotional state bearing down on her staggering steps.

"And I _will _marry him…I _will_…I…"

She dropped the phone as her hands flew to her mouth, and ran to the bathroom just as Gil was hurrying around the corner into the bedroom doorway.

"Sara!" he called worriedly after her, having heard her shouts the moment he entered the townhouse.

She retched violently having just reached the bowl, with tears and sobs punctuating the dry heaves that threatened to make her faint.

Gil rubbed her back while snapping open his cell phone, knowing that this time Sara was in need of more than just a consoling massage.

Punching in a number on speed dial, he spoke urgently.

"This is Gil Grissom from the crime lab. I need to speak to Dr. Craig immediately….YES IT'S AN EMERGENCY!..."

Weakened beyond words, Sara moved back as Gil placed a moistened towel against her head as he pulled her onto his lap while he braced himself against the bathroom tiles.

Gil kissed her head softly, wondering what in the world had caused her to reach such a critical state.

Her eyes closed briefly, tears streaming silently down her face.

Upon opening however, her eyes fell onto the landline receiver haphazardly perched against the wall where it landed when she ran.

She wondered if Logan was still _listening_.

She wondered if they would _ever_ listen to reason.

She wondered if Lillian would once again work her wiles as she always did when she wanted something.

Or _someone_…

Sara's hand protectively splayed over her abdomen, the action making Gil's anxiety reach new levels as he wondered if she was experiencing pain.

Trying to remain calm, he kissed her forehead again as he questioned, "Sara?"

Her hand never leaving the place where her unborn child rested peacefully, she looked up worriedly into his nervous gaze.

_How can I tell him what I've done?_

_I'm afraid…please don't make problems for me and my baby, Lillian…please…_

Her thoughts were becoming disjointed, fear blinding her to the comfort he was trying to offer in the security of his embrace.

"Sara?" Gil asked again, more urgently.

He turned his eyes from hers as Daniel's voice rang in his ears.

Quickly running down Sara's current state, she found her minor trembles turning stronger.

Recalling how, at the ranch, they had nearly escalated into convulsions, Sara began to panic as she snapped her terrified eyes to his.

Hitting speakerphone, Gil continued to speak to Sara while he barked an update on her condition to Daniel.

"Keep eye contact, Gil. Cover her with something warm, a blanket, anything."

Gil looked away from Sara for a second, before flinging open the linen closet door and yanking a pile of Egyptian cotton bath sheets from the upper shelf.

"It's okay, honey…keep looking at me, Sara…just keep looking at me, baby…" he spoke evenly, but Sara could hear the terror in his voice.

"O-o-o-kay…o-o-kay…" she said through tremor-clenched teeth, before closing her eyes, willing her body to relinquish control back to her.

"Stay with me, Sara…please…_don't leave me!…"_ a horrified Grissom shouted, thinking her eyes were closing as she was losing consciousness.

Without opening her eyes, she inhaled as slowly as her shaking limbs would allow.

"Re….la-a..x….ing……..Mo-…on…nica…." was all she could get out, trying to reassure him that she was getting a handle on her emotional outburst.

"GIL!" his phone barked, and Gil quickly picked up the unit.

"What's happening?" Daniel asked, seconds away from summoning EMTs to the townhouse.

"Sara?" Gil asked softly, almost reverently.

"Be-tter…better…" she spoke softly, as if louder volume would cause a relapse.

Sara lay there intent on the rhythmic breathing exercise Monica had demonstrated as working for her in times of stress when she had handled her pregnancy alone.

Now, Sara realized that woman may just have saved a young life.

Gil finished speaking to Daniel, promising to get Sara there as soon as possible.

After long minutes passed, Sara was able to open her eyes – crisis temporarily averted.

Immediately, Gil pulled her into his arms, seating her again on his lap – willing his own heart rate to return to normal.

"Sara?" he asked softly, continuing to kiss her hair, her forehead, her nose, her lips before finally resting his head across the top of hers, closing his eyes in silent prayer.

But at this time she had no strength left for the conversation that she knew must take place.

For now, however, she was in need of some TLC.

Looking upwards, she found it, and more, in the watery gaze of the man she adored.

Her mind was filled with a thousands things she needed to say to this man who would be the father of her child.

But her mouth would only form the words which she hoped would convey just how much she needed him in her life.

"Oh, Gil…"


	73. Chapter 73

A/N: I had to smile at the reviews from the last chapter…in rereading, I personally found evidence of Sara's inner strength returning, some loose ends starting to be wrapped up, a woman who was becoming more secure in their relationship that she was allowing herself to be cared for instead of always insisting she was "Fine"…some readers however seemed to find a different message…ah, how I enjoyed the varied viewpoints…and how I wish we could sometime get together with a few cups of hot tea and debate the merits of the characters in each chapter as some lucky readers do in monthly book clubs…I also have to smile as I anticipate some readers' reactions as I pen the finish to this chapter …twists and turns, my friends…but the GSR remains intact…for those who seriously worried that the plot might become too dark again, I will set your mind at ease and state for the record I see possibly only a few chapters left before what I will _assure _you to be their "happily ever after"…for me, that is the beauty and the power of fanfiction…hope you will continue to hang tight…I have enjoyed having your terrific company on this journey…hope this chapter pleases…more very soon…-Kathy

-----------------------

Trudging through the watery mess of the extinguished house fire, Warrick moved towards the front room with difficulty.

Dripping mud, mixed with paint shavings from the destroyed kitchen ceiling, threatened to suck his work boots from his feet.

Sighing softly, Warrick found a place to perch his kit. Flipping the latches in tandem, he opened the lid and donned a pair of work gloves before shoving a few bindles into his vest pocket.

Intent on finding any evidence to close their case against the husband, Warrick became engrossed in his thoughts – temporarily forgetting about Sofia.

Still in work mode, she moved like a ballerina as she flitted from one fallen ceiling tile to another in an attempt to reach the bedroom – the site declared by the fire marshal to have been the source of the blaze.

As fortune would have it, the latest tile block shifted and cracked under the pressure from her boot, causing Sofia to list so badly she grabbed onto the first stable thing – a seemingly innocent shadow box that seemed intact.

The moment her forearm slid against it, Sofia's eyes grew.

The mounted box slid sideways to reveal a suspended chain.

Looking around, her first reaction was to call for Warrick.

Remembering their solemn ride out her to the crime scene, she thought better of it.

Positioning herself in a stable stance, she clamped onto the rope and heaved downward.

Behind her, Sofia could hear the sound of a latch lifting.

Intrigued, she twisted around handily and opened the door to the study – that now revealed a closet-like opening in the paneled wall.

Knowing she had uncovered something major, her investigative side began to brainstorm possible uses for the space.

Upon reaching the threshold of the mini room, however, the remnants of carpet on the floor told their story.

Bloody splotches on the carpet indicate that someone had suffered untold indignities in this place.

Propping the door open with her kit, Sofia stepped gingerly inside – already impressed that trained investigators had overlooked this important part of the crime scene.

Just as she was about to reveal her find, Sofia stopped and spun around.

While Sofia should have been thinking about her pleasure in sending the husband to prison, instead she began to inspect the workmanship more closely.

An evil idea was hatching in the midst of this crime scene.

The door was fitted perfectly to the knotty pine paneling, and she suspected that even if you knew what you were looking for, you could very well miss it.

Peering inside for a closer inspection, Sofia surmised the room was actually a single-unit chamber that had been soundproofed, allowing for all types of pleas for help to go unanswered.

Examining the lock, her eyes flitted to the walls and entryway of the room, stopping to examine the four-inch door a bit more closely.

_Airtight. _

She searched for air vents, or other clean air supplies.

She found none.

_Could it really be this easy?_

Her eyes took on a faraway glaze as she closed the door, still amazed at the expert camouflage perfected by the husband, who by all accounts was a master carpenter who built this house by hand..

_The perfect crime._

_Remote. Soundproofed. This scene will be released today. _

_While it _is _scheduled for demolition, I bet it won't be on the calendar for at least six months to a year._

_And with a little luck, by then I could finally be rid of Sara Sidle once and for all…_

Sofia hopscotched back to close the secret lever, watching as the shadow box slid back into place, no one the wiser.

Except Sofia…

-------

He refused to relinquish his hold on her hand.

The subtle gesture meant so much to Sara, as her body rolled with morning sickness and her limbs felt weak with the sustained emotional response of her recent upset.

But now, their hands remained locked together as Gil sat on a straight-back chair next to the patient bed where Sara reclined on her side, willing the stomach upset to pass.

"Can I get you –", Gil was interrupted as Sara shook her free hand negatively, even the thought of speaking about food not a good thing right now.

He knew the nausea meant Sara's pregnancy was progressing, yet he wished he could make it better for her.

With his iron constitution, Gil had decided at an early age never to get sick to his stomach…there fore he had decided at an early age to never participate in anything stronger than a gag reflex.

But he could empathize, even at a relatively young age.

And now, he would trade places with her in a heartbeat.

He would do anything for her.

But first, he knew they needed to talk about what had caused her episode.

_We have no secrets._

She was staring blankly at him, marveling at the sight of their joined hands, thanking the powers above that he had overcome his self-imposed obstacles and found his way to her.

He caught her eye and smiled. God, how he loved this woman.

He brought his free hand to place a curl behind her ear, causing her to smile tiredly and close her eyes at his touch.

"Sara?"

She did not respond, but smiled a bit more to let him know she was listening.

"Honey…would you tell me…please?"

They had always communicated their needs with few words, over the years the team had commented on how they would often finish each other's spoken thoughts as if they were of one mind.

Sighing softly, Sara forced her eyes open and inhaled deeply.

_No secrets…not anymore…not ever again…_

So Sara began to relate the events leading up to the phone call…and of her worry over Lillian or Logan trying to stake some legal claim to her unborn child.

Gil Grissom was not known to have the most excitable personality in the world.

His reputation over the years was of level-headed calm – even in the face of a pistol or knife aimed directly at him by a suspect.

So it spoke volumes to Sara that Gil began immediately to vent his anger at Logan's insensitive handling of her phone call.

"I mean…does the man not GET it?..."

She began to worry when he released her hand and stood up pushing the chair behind him so forcefully it landed halfway across the room.

Raking his hands through his curls, he tried to calm down but his anger over Logan upsetting Sara in such a fashion was difficult to rein in.

He turned to continue his rant, and the look on Sara's face stopped him cold.

_She thinks I am angry…with her…_

Her need superseded his, calming his exterior immediately.

Forsaking the chair, Gil moved to her bedside one moment and brought Sara into his arms the next.

"I'm sorry, honey…for upsetting you…"

He kissed her temple and rubbed soothing circles over her back.

When he felt Sara finally relax, he released her enough to look into her eyes…only to find she had fallen into a light sleep.

Despite the turmoil he was dealing with, her long brown lashes resting upon her pale cheeks was a sight that would warm the heart of the coldest beast.

His protective instincts went into overdrive.

Remaining perched on the side of her bed, Gil situated her on her side and covered her with the extra blanket he had insisted they bring in for her.

He joined their hands and held hers to his heart as he massaged her shoulder and back lightly.

He could feel vibration of his cell phone taunting him within his side pocket, but he would have to release her hand to retrieve it.

Behind him, Gil felt a slight change in sound and temperature and was not surprised to find a floor nurse walk quietly by them to check on Sara's vitals.

Gil smiled softly at the nurse's happy reaction to Sara's napping.

The door closed again, causing the sound level to return to the quiet hum of the activity at the distant nurses' station.

His phone vibrated again and once again Gil decided to ignore it.

The room was quiet, Sara was breathing evenly, exhaling softly and adorably.

Gil found his own eyes drifting closed.

Fighting it at first, he decided to retrieve the chair and perhaps take the opportunity to rest until Sara needed him again.

With some Olympian moves, his foot dragged the chair closer and he plopped down heavily into it, never releasing Sara's hand from his possessive grip.

His eyes once again fluttered closed, although Gil was aware of his surroundings as are many people who awaken for a few moments in the middle of the night.

Now, he was feeling that same change in the air temperature of the room, and so he expected to open his eyes and see a floor nurse standing there.

He shifted and opened his eyes fully.

But no one was there.

Immediately, the investigator in him was alerted, and he stood, clasping her hands more securely.

No one.

Shaking his head to clear it, Gil sat down after checking Sara over from head to toe just to ensure himself that she and their baby were fine.

Their baby.

Gil immediately reverted back to Sara's phone call.

He was going to have a _very long_ talk with Logan…and soon…

Gil's phone persisted once again, the vibration making the side of Gil's leg tickle under material of his side pocket. Without thought, his hand reached to retrieve it.

"Don't."

Gil was frozen in time.

His body did not move, the speaker's tone was familiar, but not.

His eyes flashed to Sara.

But she was sleeping comfortably.

Had he actually _heard_ that word? Or was it more like his brain just accepted that he had been spoken to?

Shaking his head, deciding he had been dreaming, Gil released Sara's hand with a kiss then stretched fully to try to shake off his fatigue.

He retrieved his phone which opened to reveal ten missed calls and three text messages.

The last was from Brass asking him about the possibility of joining those pulling a double at the scene of a horrific bus accident.

Gil glanced over at Sara, conflicted with his desire to stay with her and Brass' need for his services as a senior CSI.

This time, he _felt_ more than heard a very distinct: _Stay._

Whether it was his worry, his fatigue, or his disgust with a career marked with putting Sara last, Gil decided to follow that little voice's suggestion, leaning back after placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

Her contented face was the last thing Gil remembered before he nodded off to sleep.

--------

Meanwhile, back at the lab, Ecklie couldn't help grin broadly when he spotted Sofia coming through the lab doors…his smile faltering only slightly as he spotted Brass and Warrick almost ushering her through the entryway.

"Sofia!" Ecklie began, "my office, please?"

Warrick's face hardened, Brass' eyes narrowed, but Sofia moved towards the corridor without a moment's hesitation.

"Gladly," she said in loud annoyance, hoping she was heard.

Brass moved to follow, but Ecklie's hand prevented his forward movement.

"This…._will not_ concern you, detective…" Conrad spoke definitively, and again Brass fumed.

"Remember what the sheriff said," Jim whispered in a guttural tone, his displeasure noted.

Warrick and Brass watched as the duo disappeared around the corridor.

Now inside the comfort of his office, Conrad looked at Sofia for a moment before speaking.

"Sofia…do you have any idea how much vacation you have stored up?" he asked in a tone that suggestion he already knew the answer.

Sofia had to pause. She hadn't ever used many days…over the six years she had been at CSI…and then there were her comp days…

Bursting to tell, Conrad leaned over and mouthed, "Seven weeks!"

She continued to look at Ecklie, not fully understanding his agenda for this meeting.

He leaned forward and smirked wickedly.

"So…what would happen if, say, you wanted to _take _a few weeks?…right _now?_…_starting today_?"

As their eyes met, his plan was becoming clear.

Her vacation, in essence, would "stick it to the man" … or to the _sheriff _if you'd prefer…particularly with Gil and Sara out…and Nick gone...

She had to admit the deal was tempting. And highly opportune.

_A big case could find Gil necessary on the scene…leaving the little bitch alone…_

_I could just take off before they even knew what was happening._

_Oh, I can see Brass' face now...priceless._

_They would think I went away._

_I could pack a bag, buy an airline ticket….then drive back…I'd never be expected to..._

_Never be a suspect…_

Totally clueless as to Sofia's evil intent to seek the ultimate revenge on Sara, Ecklie was trying to gain some favors from the blonde by doing a few favors for her first.

Leaning back from his seated position at the front of his desk, Conrad stood suddenly and marched around his desk handily, pulling a large envelope from his top drawer and pushing it towards her.

Her slender fingers inched it closer to her, as she never released his gaze.

Inside were plane tickets reservations for Hawaii, Florida, Bermuda, and Jamaica.

Sofia smiled as she realized all the work Conrad had done.

She thanked him, saying he would never know what this meant to her.

And she was sure he wouldn't…

She asked when she could start.

Ecklie said he was just finished writing her name of the assignment chart – across from Grissom's.

Conrad's deliberate snub of Sara's name sent delightful tingles down her spine.

_Thank you, Conrad…_

Sofia stood and moved closer to Ecklie, so close her front was brushing up against his suit-covered arm as she leaned in and placed a light kiss on his cheek.

He sat stock-still, trying to recover from the heat rising in his loins at her touch.

"See you when I get back," she purred and continued to make her way out the door, clutching the envelope tightly against her.

Within the quarter hour, she was gone from the lab, having succeeded in dodging Brass and Warrick who were now scouring the building for her.

But Sofia was gone.

She had some _things_ that she needed to deal with….

…..

Two hours later, Gil felt the temperature change and heard the wheels of the medication cart being wheeled into the room.

Immediately he straightened, his groggy eyes making out three sleep-blurred figures as the activity moved fully into the room.

The nurse left the cart as Grissom stifled a yawn, addressing Brass who stood near the closed doorway.

Jim began to speak, but Gil was searching behind him.

Hadn't there been three figures?

Immediately Gil stood and surveyed the room, Brass joining in with his hand on his clandestine service revolver.

If there was some reason to be worried about Sara's safety, then he would be prepared.

A few seconds and Gil relaxed.

Sheepishly, he grinned at Brass and spoke softly, "Just overtired."

Turning back to Sara, he realized the nurse's bed check was rousing her from her deep sleep.

His eyes never left her sleeping form, visually guarding her against anything that could harm her.

"How is she?" Brass asked quietly, causing a distracted Gil to respond, "Beautiful. Like always."

Brass chuckled.

"C'mon, Romeo. Let's get you out for a stroll down to the coffee shop. You look like you could use some caffeine."

"I shouldn't leave her," Gil, an odd feeling of déjà vu wrapping over him, only this time it was he who was uttering the idea.

"Fifteen minutes…you could maybe get something for her to eat for when she wakes up."

That idea finally sold Gil on the idea.

Brass smirked as he watched Grissom tidy her blanket, smooth back her hair, kiss her forehead, take a step back, survey the room, move towards the door, and twirl around once more to be certain she was safe…and alone…

Opening the door quickly, Jim continued to tease Gil.

Ignoring his friend for now, Grissom marched to the nurses' station to tell them he would only be gone a few minutes, and would they please page him in the cafeteria if she should wake and need him.

Only with the floor nurse's solemn assurance that she would keep a watchful eye, did Grissom finally move towards the elevators.

Jim's chuckles could be heard down the hallway until they were no more than an echo: "Man, if that's what love is like, do _you_ have it bad!"

Quiet settled in Sara's room as she slept, and for a small while Sara continued to sleep peacefully.

She was having a wonderful dream.

_She was playing in a field, when she heard a small voice sound happily behind her, "Mama!"_

_Sara recognized the place immediately…the field bordered the pond next to the hideaway cabin on the Stokes' ranch._

_The place was beautiful, full of daisies growing wildly…except for the oversized bunch with the cutest little feet attached that was bobbing excitedly her way._

_Coming near enough to grab her, the young girl with soft brown spiral curls and green eyes suddenly misstepped, causing the daisies to pop up in the warm breeze of the summer afternoon while the child belly-flopped onto the grass._

_Sara lunged for the child protectively, but she was already rolling over in a fit of giggles as she reveled in the feel of the tall timothy crushing under her steamrolling motions._

_Shaking her head, without hesitation Sara flopped down beside the little girl and joined her in rolling towards the pond._

_Stopping to catch their breath, the child immediately became mesmerized by the ladybug that had crawled to the top of a thick stalk of timothy, peering down at the little princess._

"_Look, Mama! Ladybug!" she whispered, having a second sense about the volume of noise these insects would tolerate._

_Off in the distance, Sara could see the strapping figure of a younger man watching them play. His muscular arms were crossed, a huge smile gracing his handsome face._

_She smiled and waved. He smiled back before blowing her a kiss, a wisp of wind suddenly sending a shock of his short brown locks falling slightly into his eyes._

_Behind them, the sound of a horse's gallop caused Sara and the child to turn their attention to the trail._

"_Dad-dy!" the little one shrieked, falling down twice as she tried to pull herself up out of the tangle of tall grass that surrounded her._

_Sara laughed at the antics and pulled the little girl upright. She took off like the wind in the direction of the horseman._

_Sara watched as the rugged figure of a curly-haired man dismounted and scooped the child up into his embrace before she even finished her run at him._

_Squeals of delight echoes through the canyon, and Sara thought she had never been happier in her life._

_As an afterthought, she turned towards the younger man, but he was gone._

_Sara smiled wistfully, her attention suddenly drawn to the noisy intrusion of her two loves as she found herself under a kissing attack, her child kissing her Mama's hair and forehead, her husband kissing her neck, cheeks, and lingering finally over her lips._

She felt something pulling her away from that happy place.

The happy smile still gracing her face, Sara first became aware that the foot of her bed dipped ever so lightly.

Without opening her eyes, she could sense someone looking intently at her.

Inhaling lazily, Sara stretched her shoulders slightly as the peaceful contentment of her dream caused her to happily murmur, "Oh, Gil…"


	74. Chapter 74

A/N: Hope the holidays were great for everyone…finally got my computer working so I could get this chapter up…Some of you may disagree with the events of this chapter…but I assure you they are based on the true life happenings of a widowed family member who is adamant that they occurred…another loose end is tied up in this chapter…(and it will remain an "unsolved mystery")…this chapter is rated M for an act some may consider violent…your reviews and reader support are so valued…all mistakes are mine…hope this pleases…you are so terrific…-Kathy

--------------

The hospital cafeteria was rocked by the echoes of angry words as Brass sputtered into his cell phone.

"WELL GO OVER YOUR FINDINGS AGAIN!…Just DO it!…or this guy walks in an hour!" Jim continued to speak through gritted teeth, his voice lowering as he became more aware of his surroundings.

He slammed his cell phone shut and shoved it into his pocket angrily.

"Dammit!" he muttered under this breath, running his hand over his face in an attempt to calm his racing heartbeat.

"Tell me," Gil said evenly, his experience already convincing him the situation was intense.

"We've been over that crime scene for the last three days. Nothing! How does a guy kill his wife, in their home, without a _single_ trace of blood anywhere except on her clothing?"

Brass looked angry enough to take on the role of this guy's judge and executioner.

"Where was she found?" Gil asked, the investigator in him intrigued by the mystery.

"Just outside the back door. Neighbors walking their dog down the alley spotted her. Husband was apprehended in the tool shed with a shovel and rake, but said he was just preparing to put away his yard tools…didn't even know his wife was home."

Brass picked up his mug, but put it back down onto the table with a thud.

"Dammit! We know he did it…guy was cocky as hell in his deposition…but without an actual crime scene, we can't link him to the murders…"

"Who ran the scene?" Gil asked, becoming more involved in this puzzle.

"Well, I _had_ called _you_ a _few_ times," Jim spoke in an agitated tone, but quickly changed it when he realized that Gil was just putting Sara's needs first.

"Sorry, pal…it's just that house went up in flames later that first night so evidence collection was halted-"

"-and CSI was left with a waterlogged mess to try to sort out," Gil sighed and shook his head.

"Listen," Brass leaned forward to speak in confidence, "we have one hour to uncover _something_ or this guy walks!"

Gil's mind was already formulating theories, picturing the murderer completing his tasks, covering his tracks by premeditating an arson at the scene.

He was brought back to the present by Jim's voice insistently calling him.

"So? Will you?"

"Sorry?"

Brass sighed, trying to rein in his mounting frustration, not wanting to take out his emotions on Gil.

"I asked if you would be interested in visiting the scene, kind of a last chance look. I mean, Sofia and Warrick are very competent, but I'd feel better knowing you had previewed the scene-"

"I appreciate that, Jim, but I don't feel right about leaving Sara-"

"I'd stay with her until you got back, Gil. An hour, two tops, just to be sure we've covered our bases."

Gil remained silent, pondering what was best for Sara, wondering if leaving while she slept for just a short time would really matter to her especially since Jim would stay with her.

Almost pleading, Jim spoke again, "Listen, they're already preparing this guy's papers. If we have to release him and you find something, we can bring him back in for another 24 hours."

Knowing Sara's penchant for justice for the victim, Gil decided he would help Brass and visit the crime scene.

"But just for one hour…then I'm not leaving Sara's side again," Gil stated firmly, internally pleased to see Jim's shoulders relax.

Glancing at the clock, Gil decided he would send Brass back to Sara's room alone.

The sooner he got out to the crime scene, the sooner he would get back to Sara…

----

Meanwhile, at the LVPD lockup, a high priced lawyer was signing papers for the release of his client.

As with many of the people he defended, this slick counselor doubted his client's innocence, but knew enough about evidence collection to spot when the DA's case was weak.

Moving towards the lockup, the attorney adjusted his tie and gripped the handle of his briefcase a bit tighter as the jailor punched in the code to open the cell door in order to admit the visitor into his client's cell.

Grinning smugly, the accused husband sat back in a relaxed posture as his lawyer sized up his client, internally shuddering as he looked into his taunting gaze.

"Am I a free man yet?" he laughed a bit, so sure he would be released soon.

Glancing down at his watch, the attorney answered, "Unless something changes, twenty minutes or so."

Expecting a response but receiving none, the lawyer crunched his eyebrows and tried another tact.

"Have any plans for when you're released? Do you need to call someone, or-"

"I have…_things_…I want to do. And no…I don't need to call nobody."

Silence ensued for another moment before the counselor was beginning to get a bad vibe from his client.

Standing while maintaining his outward calm, he clutched his briefcase a bit tighter and offered, "Well, then…I'll just go and finish the paperwork and you'll be on your way…"

Without another word, he called for the jailor who came and eyed both men before opening the cell and releasing the lawyer into the hallway.

Leaving the cellblock twenty minutes later, he would later recall watching his client exit the building and hail a cab…all the while wondering if a stiff drink would help alleviate this nagging sense of dread embedded in the pit of his stomach as he watched this fellow disappear from his sight…

----

Sara's eyelids continued to feel heavy, the strain of the last few days leaving her body craving rest.

Laying there in this moment, however, Sara felt a desperate need for comfort outweighing her body's demand for more rest.

As her legs began to jerk restlessly, she felt a warming pressure on her calves, so soothing it caused her instantly to cease her movements.

As she lay there on the cusp of sleep, she sighed contentedly.

It was in this setting that she first heard it.

Initially, her brows furrowed, but her eyes remained obstinately closed.

"Hello, darlin'."

She couldn't be sure of the truth of her vision; in fact, she couldn't really be sure her eyes were opened at all.

But nonetheless, she could not deny the overwhelming sensations that caused her to conclude that the impossible was occurring….

Without the slightest fear or sense of dread, Sara found herself face to face with-

"_Nick_?"

His smile lit up the room as it had in all her memories of their happier times.

And, just as he had in all those years they partnered together, he was laughing at her now, watching her trying so hard to make sense of this puzzle.

"Don't be afraid, darlin'," he smirked.

Again, Sara realized she _wasn't_ afraid.

In this moment, she found herself looking deeply into those kind, brown eyes of her longtime friend.

Not the monster who had made her life hell.

Not the jealous maniac who had threatened to take her away from the only man she would ever love.

No.

Now she found herself face to face with her friend Nick who was looking healthy, skin perfectly aglow with a radiance that exuded peaceful contentment.

Sara relaxed against the pillow, although she was unaware of its texture against her upper back and neck.

"Nick-" she began, wondering where to start this conversation.

Then, "Why are you here?"

He smiled in a way that made her respond in a like manner.

"I've been here, Sara, all along. Guess you could say I've been watching out for you…" he spoke as he looked around her hospital room.

"…for both of you…" he grinned, and again Sara found herself responding.

"Sara," he continued after a moment, "I just want you to know…I'm so sorry for everything that happened…" Nick paused to regain control of his trembling lips.

"What_ did_ happen, Nicky?" Sara found herself asking without hesitation.

He smiled at the endearment.

"Well, the cremation pretty much ruled out the chance to uncover the damage, but…" he reached over and placed his large hand over hers that were pressed together lightly over her midsection, immediately warming her into a state of peace.

"…let's just say, that chemical factory arson I investigated last year had me handling some combinations of materials that no one guessed could cause some delayed – and irreversible – effects to my system."

Sara felt a tear form at this revelation, but Nick was quick to swipe it away as he ran his fingers lightly down the side of her face in a whisper-like caress.

"Dad will be glad to have some closure there, Nicky."

Nick beamed at the mention of his father.

"I visited with him a bit when you were first brought to the hospital, Sara.

I wanted him to know I was alright.

Now…I want _you_ to know that I'm okay...I'm happy, _really_ happy, Sara.

No more worries, alright, darlin'?"

He held her gaze as she listened intently.

"Please let them know I am okay, no need to fuss anymore about what happened.

Will you let them know, Sara?"

She could only nod her head, so overcome with what she was experiencing.

Nick continued to urge her, "I'm _fine_, now, darlin'. _Please_. No more tears. Can you make that promise for ole Nick?"

He smiled broadly, and soon Sara again felt compelled to return a small smile in his direction.

"That's better. There's been too many tears, Sara. No more now, darlin'."

Sara started to speak, but Nick seemed to read her mind.

"You're going to be happy now, Sara.

Grissom loves you. We always knew that.

Honestly, I think we knew it before you two did!" he spoke happily, laughing at his own presumption.

This caused a large smile to form on Sara's face.

She found herself feeling calmer than she had in weeks, and surprisingly …happy.

"And you, Sara, are going to be such a wonderful mother," he added, hoping to dispel any doubts she had because of her childhood.

Sara just sat and looked at Nick as he continued to smile and beam at her.

"This little one," he placed his hand again over her stomach, "god, Sara, she's beautiful.

Out of all the horrors of those last days, she is the one good thing that will come from it."

Sara felt his hand join hers in pressing more firmly over the spot where their daughter lay asleep in the safety of her mother's womb.

"You're going to have such a happy family, darlin'…"

Taking a deep breath, Nick smiled again and promised Sara that her future life was going to be good from here on out.

"And just remember, Sara, I'll always be looking out for you." He gazed at their joined hands. "For _both_ of you."

"Lately, Nicky, with everything that's been happening to me, I feel like I could really use a guardian angel," Sara said quietly, letting him see the effects of the last few days play out on her worried countenance.

She noticed Nick set his jaw slightly as an unknown emotion fleetingly passed over his features before his gaze softened upon locking onto her eyes.

"No one will hurt you again, Sara. _I promise you_."

He leaned forward in such a way that Sara suddenly found him sitting alongside her looking down into her eyes.

"Will you trust me, Sara?"

Without pause, she smiled into his gaze and said, "Yes, Nicky. I will trust you."

Without turning his head, Nick's eyes shifted sideways as if looking at something in the distance.

In a blink, she found he had returned to the foot of her bed.

"There are some things I need to take care of, Sara. You sleep now."

"But Nicky," she began to protest, although her eyes seemed already to have closed.

"You sleep now, Sara," Nick spoke softly as Sara felt the weight lift from the bottom of her bed.

"Nicky," Sara's lips uttered softly as once again she found herself on the edge of sleep.

"I love you, Sara. I always will.

You're going to be _safe_ …from now on. I promise you.

Gil will make you a wonderful husband and father.

Be happy, darlin'…"

Silence again filled the room as a new-found peace filled her heart.

Sara found herself wrapped in the deepest sleep she had experienced since this whole ordeal had begun…

---

Meanwhile, Sofia had left her rental car parked in the designated carpool area a mere two blocks from the crime scene house.

Smirking wildly at her cleverness, she felt totally invisible to being tracked down, having used a fake I.D. to rent the vehicle in the first place before driving back undetected to Vegas.

_And when I'm done with little Miss GoodyTwoShoes, no one will ever know I was here._

Slinging her backpack over her shoulder, Sofia moved furtively through the thinly forested area that led to the backyard of the structure.

Assured no one was on the scene as the crime tape had been removed from the area, Sofia entered the back door and set quickly to work.

Her objective was to prepare the room with minimal supplies to sustain her target for a few days, thus increasing the angst of her dilemma and therefore the terror in knowing she was to die a slow and painful death.

A smile crossed Sofia's face as she envisioned her final triumph, with her focus on reality lessened with each step she took.

Her manicured nails swept the framed box to the side, her slender fingers deftly pulling the chain as the clandestine door slid open.

Moving into the room, Sofia shivered with the macabre feeling these walls gave the occupant upon entering.

Kneeling with her back to the door, she made quick work of unzipping the backpack and emptying the half dozen power bars and six pack of water bottles into the only corner not spotted with signs of a desperate struggle from the previous occupant.

Just as Sofia moved to stand, her head suddenly jerked at the sudden clang of a gearshift engaging.

Her eyes widened in shock as she stood frozen to the spot, gasping as she stared in disbelief at the figure in the hallway,

"_**You?**_

You. Can't. Be. Here…

_you're not supposed to be here!_…

no…you _can't_….

please…no!...

wait!…

_WAIT!_"

Screaming, Sofia now lunged towards the doorway.

Her movements were too slow, however, as she reached it just as it locked in place.

Her pounding, pleading, anguished cries were not heard in the silence of the hallway.

The last sound that did echo through the abandoned house was the soft scrape of a framed box sliding into its nesting place…

---

What seemed like a great stretch of time passed when Sara felt the softest of kisses planted on her temple.

Again, her sleepy eyes refused to open as she felt a large, gruff hand slowly engulf hers where it rested over the spot where her child rested.

Turning with a small smile, Sara whispered, "Nicky…"

This caused great turmoil to churn inside the seasoned detective who now occupied the bedside chair.

Deciding she was beginning another nightmare, Brass shook her hands softly and whispered, "Sara…come on, doll…wake up for ole Jim, will ya?"

She opened her eyes to the worried expression on his face.

Her eyes darted swiftly around the room looking for any signs that Nick had indeed presented himself here in this room.

Not finding any evidence to that fact, she tried to sit up glancing wildly as she searched for-

"Gil?"

She grasped Jim's hands firmly.

"Why are _you_ here?

Isn't Gil here?

Is he okay?

Why _isn't_ he here?

What's happened, Jim?

Is he alright?"

At that moment, the door brushed quietly opened as the cooler hallway air heralded the arrival of …

"Sara! Darlin'!...oh, thank God…thank God…"

Logan and Lillian swept into the room, the breeze they stirred carrying them to Sara's bedside.

Brass looked impassively at them, broiling internally as he recalled the story Gil had told them about Logan's last phone conversation with Sara.

Refusing to leave her side, Brass stood at the head of her bed, Sara's hand firmly clasped between both of his own.

But Logan and Lillian seemed not to notice.

"It took us so long to get here…we were out of our minds with worry, darlin'…no one would tell us if you were alright…" Logan spoke, not realizing that Sara had made no move to welcome them.

Lillian had made her way around to the other side of the bed.

Sara suddenly began to recall watching Daniel Boone movies as a child, suddenly empathizing with the critters he caught in his traps.

But when Lillian reached out tentatively to lay her hand on Sara's shoulder, a warm feeling ran through her, causing her to look up into Lillian's eyes.

Instead of the expected glare, Sara now found the sheen of concern transforming the woman's normally self-serving look into something infinitely more…compassionate.

Brass was surprised when Sara released one hand from his grip and placed it on Lillian's trembling hand.

The two gentlemen watched in wonder as the two women in the room communicated on many levels without a single word being spoken.

Sara's years of being orphaned and alone blended with Lillian's newer reality of having lost a beloved child.

Sara's mind reverberated with Nick's pronouncement - was it _really_ only a dream? - _"You're going to have such a happy family, darlin'…"_

Clutching Lillian's hand tightly, Sara turned to Logan and pointedly stared at him as she spoke.

"Gil and I are going to marry and raise _our _child."

Lillian moved to release her hand, but Sara held firm.

"_We_ are going to raise _our_ child."

The tension was thick. Brass stood stock still, wanting more than anything to let Sara know she wasn't alone in this fight.

For a long moment, Logan just stared into the face of this person he had come to love as his own child.

And for now, at least, she bore his family name.

His shoulders sagged slightly as he began to nod his head resolutely, eyes downcast.

_Well, lord, you've answered my prayers._

_Ever since we left the ranch, we prayed that our Sara would be alright and that nothing bad had happened to her baby._

_You've granted us all that we've asked for._

_It won't be easy, lord, to say goodbye again._

_I barely made it through saying goodbye to Anna all those years ago…you remember._

_But I see now that everything that happened in my life has led us to this moment._

_In a way, I guess you've helped me prepare for this – final - goodbye._

_Take care of them, lord, and please just let them have a life as happy as the one Lillian and I shared with our own children._

Aloud, he spoke, "As long as you are alright, darlin'…I can live with that."

Brass spoke to clarify the situation, "With no claim to the child?"

Logan sighed and looked at Lillian who now was brushing Sara's errant curls softly away from her face.

Tears glistened in her eyes as they made contact with her husband's anguished gaze.

One drop escaped as Lillian smiled and spoke:

"Sara and Gil will make a wonderful family for their child."

Relieved that a bitter custody fight had been averted, Brass squeezed the hand he still held and smiled down at Sara who now looked from Lillian to Logan before she spoke.

"And she will have a wonderful Grandma and Grandpa to spoil her rotten when she visits."

Brass stood in place, once again in awe of the selfless spirit of this young woman.

Lillian sobbed openly as she pressed a kiss to Sara's temple, repeating over and over, "Thank you, Sara…oh, thank you…"

Logan sat silently for a moment, again internalizing prayers of thanks that perhaps there might be a happy ending to the heartbreaking saga they had all recently endured.

He pondered briefly a quotation he remembered reading so many years ago: _"A baby is God's way of saying that life must go on…"_

When he did react, however, it was to startle Brass and Lillian by standing and diving in to bring Sara into a fatherly bear hug, which caused tears of happiness to fall from her eyes as he swayed slightly saying, "My Sara…my Sara…"

"EXCUSE ME!" came an angry sounding Grissom as he moved swiftly into the room.

"Sara isn't _yours_, Logan! She is going to be _my wife_ just as soon as she is well enough to marry me!"

His words caused Logan to release Sara slightly, and Gil moved forward heatedly to dislodge her from Logan's embrace.

But upon seeing the beacons of happiness emitted from her eyes, Gil paused as Logan retreated on his own.

Looking from a beaming Brass to a teary-eyed smiling Lillian to a smiling Logan, Gil's brow furrowed slightly as he sought answers merely by saying, "Sara?"

Sara moved into his outstretched arms, hugged him tightly, and then turned her face to his before almost laughing aloud, "Oh, Gil…"


	75. Chapter 75

Finally! My computer problems are solved and this story can finally get back on track…this was not the chapter I had in mind, yet these two felt it was necessary…it gave me goosebumps as the last obstacles are dealt with…thanks for the reader support and terrific reviews…no time to reread…all mistakes are mine…hope it pleases…more soon….-Kathy

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"Having a party and we weren't invited?"

The door to Sara's crowded hospital room swung open to reveal a smiling Dr. Craig followed by an expressionless Monica.

Daniel's cheerful demeanor masked his effort to gauge the overall intensity in the room.

Monica was focused on Sara's tear-stained cheeks, as if trying to decide if her full-faced smile was genuine.

Brass broke the silence.

"Just celebrating the upcoming nuptials."

Monica's eyebrow lifted at this, staring at Sara who was now returning her gaze without blinking.

_Something's changed._

She watched as Gil strengthened his hold on Sara, his possessive action speaking loud and clear of concern for her well-being.

I have to speak to Sara, alone…find out what has been happening here…

Daniel was focused on Lillian and Logan, noting the genuine smiles and Lillian's welcomed presence close to Sara.

I have to speak to Gil, alone…find out what happened here…

After a few friendly exchanges, Daniel stood a bit straighter and announced that everyone might consider clearing the room so he could examine Sara.

Gil was the first to react, releasing Sara from his grip as he stood on both legs to give the doctor some room.

His back to the crowd, Gil fluffed her pillows and helped situate her comfortably against them.

He didn't move far, as he reclaimed her hand and glanced towards Jim who swiftly moved from the head of her bed.

Looking initially like she might protest, Lillian blinked slowly before forcing a smile on her face. She leaned forward and kissed Sara lightly on the top of her head.

"Dad and I will see you soon, sweetheart. Please take care of yourself."

Logan met his wife as she loomed over a smiling Sara.

Looking directly into her eyes, Logan remained silent for a moment before leaning forward to kiss Sara on the forehead.

"Take care of yourself, and that baby, okay, darlin'?"

Sara grinned as she lay her hand over her abdomen. "I will, Dad."

"We love you, honey," Lillian spoke as she moved closer to Logan.

His arm naturally claimed his wife's shoulders and he kissed the side of her head as he led them both to the door.

"Call us, if you need _anything_," Lillian's voice trembled over her shoulder as she walked away, feeling as if she were losing Nick all over again.

Sara may have been the only one besides Monica to hear the pain in that tone.

She surprised Gil as she shot up from her pillow, almost shouting, "Mom?!"

The older woman turned swiftly, halting her husband at the doorway.

"I love you. I'll…I'll call you tomorrow…okay?"

Lillian found she could not speak, so Logan softly squeezed her in his embrace as he answered for her: "We love you too, Sara…talk to you tomorrow."

With that, the couple passed through the doorway and out of sight.

Daniel turned to Brass, who just cleared his throat and made his own goodbyes.

Monica took up residence in a chair, still observing, still trying to make sense of the major changes in her patient.

Now that the room was less crowded, Daniel began a perfunctory exam of Sara before setting down on her bedside.

"Everything is looking good, kiddo…how does home sound to you?" he smiled, ready for her reaction.

Sara beamed, but Gil looked concerned.

"Home? So soon? You're sure you're not rushing her?" he interrupted boldly, making the physician smile.

"Well, I was going to finish by saying I'd like to have an OB/GYN consult, maybe a sonogram, just to rule out any potential problems."

"I'm _fine_. And I am SO ready to go home," Sara smiled encouragingly to Gil, who was just now beginning to notice the stress lines were missing from her eyes and forehead.

"Well, humor the old doc just for a little bit longer, okay?" Daniel smiled, happy his patient really seemed in the best spirits he had seen since he'd known her.

"If that's what it's going to take to blow this joint, bring it on!" Sara joked, and Daniel laughed as he stood.

"Okay, let's have you rest tonight, we'll do the tests and exams in the morning and you should be home by noon."

Nodding in Gil's direction, his action went unnoticed as Daniel realized that the man couldn't take his eyes off his future wife.

Wanting to give them some time together, the doctor stood and was followed by Monica who smiled encouragingly at the duo before following Daniel out the door, closing it quietly behind them.

Alone at last, Sara shoved over as Gil made his way over to her bed pulling her over into his embrace.

"Sara?" he asked, needing to know what had transpired before he had arrived.

"Gil…it's going to be okay…they know…they know it's our baby…we're going to have your name…be a real family…a happy fam-"

Her speech was cut off by his lips claiming her.

"We _are _going to be happy honey. I am going to make it my life goal to make you both very happy. Just as you have made me."

They stared smiling at each other for a moment, just taking in the fact that nothing was going to stop them from being together now.

There was so much she wanted to tell him, about her dreamy conversation with Nick, about his illness caused by his investigation, about his promise of being the guardian of their happy home.

In fact, she started to speak, but Gil had other ideas.

Right now, holding her in his arms was causing all sorts of protective feelings to surge through his body.

He wanted her to know that he would protect her, be there for her whenever she felt threatened.

He would be her guardian, her knight in shining armor.

He leaned forward and captured her mouth hungrily, eliciting a matching response from his bride-to-be.

After a few moments, "Marry me?"

Face-splitting smiles. "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes…I love you, Gilbert Grissom."

"I love you too, Sara Si-"

Silence claimed the air for several seconds.

It was still there, no matter how they tried to move past it.

"Gil," Sara said softly, only to be shushed by a forceful hug.

"Just rest now, Sara honey…just let me hold you," Gil whispered, almost self-consciously.

"Okay," came her whispered reply, not wanting to upset the fragile peace they had created. She would talk to him later.

It didn't take long for his gentle caresses and subtle rocking movements to lull her into a restful state.

He found himself dozing too, listening to her soft breaths as they signalled her dreaming state.

Almost dropping off, he felt the movement of her lips as her faced snuggled close to his neck.

Gil smiled as he looked down at his love who looked so peaceful, glad for once she was having a wonderful dream instead of the nightmares that usually rocked her sleep.

He kissed her softly on the forehead, only to have his heartbeat slow as she snuggled closer, and with a small smile whispered, "Oh, Nicky…"

In her dream, they were sitting across from one another on the daisy covered bank near their pond, chatting about nothing in particular.

_The cloudless sky offered radiant light without the oppressive heat. Yet, Sara felt warmed through and through._

"_This is what happiness is," she thought, and glanced up to see Nick nodding, obviously having read her thoughts._

"_Well, I never could keep anything from you, Nicky," she smiled and was treated to that chuckle she had missed hearing for such a long time._

_Sara was relaxing, feeling like she had run a marathon for weeks and it had really worn her down._

_Sitting here with Nicky, listening to his awful puns and talking about how happy she was with Gil, Sara felt that truly this must be heaven._

_She sighed, leaning back into the tall timothy that decorated her resting place, utterly content in the thought that her future with Gil was going to be just as heavenly._

_Stretching softly, she closed her eyes and sighed, "Oh, Nicky…"_

Sara continued to sleep, but Gil was now wide awake.

The green-eyed monster controlled his every thought.

Gil's heartrate jumped and his anger built.

_Even dead, he won't leave her alone._

_She's mine, now…and I won't let him come between us again…_

Gil shifted himself a bit and shook Sara's shoulder slightly.

Her eyes flew open, startled out of her sleep.

"Gil?" she asked worriedly, her hand flying to cup his face tenderly.

"You…uh…I thought you were having a nightmare, honey," he lied, his eyes closing against her continued touch.

"Mmm, no…" she answered so quickly he knew it was the truth,

"…a good dream…"

She smiled again and closed her eyes as she settled against him.

"…a very good dream…"

Gil cradled her for a while until she drifted off again, gently fingering the curls that splashed over his arm before pressing her head against his chest.

He loved her.

And only her.

It may have been juvenile, god he had felt more like a teenager these last few months than he did in his own puberty, but…

He wanted to be her one and only.

His eyes darkened.

Nick seemed to still be driving a wedge between him and that desire.

Gil pulled Sara a bit tighter into his embrace, closing his eyes in an effort to calm his anger.

Jealousy, hatred, the need for revenge – these were feelings Gil had never experienced to this degree in his entire life.

He knew Sara loved him, wanted to be with him, desired to have him raise their baby as his own.

But there _would _always be that little bit of Nick in their lives.

And in the ebbing light of day, a little darkness was settling over Gil's heart.

_This baby would never really be his…always Nick's child…always belong to Nick…always…Nick…_

This is how Gil drifted off into a dream that would impact him for the rest of his life….

_Instead of arms around Sara, Gil found himself in the middle of a pasture which seemed fenced in as far as the eye can see._

_In the distance, glorious green grass blanketed the miles of pasture as the long tips of each blade bowed slightly to the warm breeze that comforted the air._

_Looking around, his eyes settled on a figure moving towards him._

_His eyes narrowed immediately as he recognized the strapping figure that had graced the halls of CSI for many years._

_The figure moved more than walked, and surprisingly Gil was not shocked to see him almost suddenly appearing across the low painted white fence._

"_Why are you here?" Gil spat angrily, willing to tear this person apart limb from limb._

_Wheeling around swiftly from side to side, Gil suddenly bellowed, "Where is Sara? What have you done with her? You-"_

_Raising his hands in a quieting motion, the man stood riveted and continued to smile softly._

"_Grissom…now, just calm down…"_

"_Calm down? You bastard! I'll kill you for what you did to her!"_

_Only a slightly longer blink of his eye signaled the pain those words had caused._

"_Grissom…you need to relax…I came to see you to help you-"_

_Gil found himself moving forward, ready to scale the fence which suddenly had grown a foot in height._

"_Help me? HELP ME? When I finish with you, you're the one who's going to need help!"_

_Gil was reaching for the fence, his vision obscured by a brilliant light that temporarily blinded him, much like looking into the sun while sunbathing._

_Undaunted, Gil reached out until hands grasped wood._

_He immediately started to climb the fence, focused on reaching Nick and pummeling his smiling face until he physically hurt a tenth of how much Sara had suffered._

_In this dreamlike state, climbing was a struggle, and just as he thought he'd reach the top there suddenly would be another foot to scale._

_He exhausted himself after what seemed like an hour of climbing, but he wouldn't give up, wouldn't rest, until he had secured the satisfaction he sought._

_Pausing briefly, Gil heard a voice from far away calling him. It was Sara._

_Looking down, he realized he was almost a mile in the sky. Perched where he was, the fence beneath him now yielded none of the ladderlike boards he had employed to get to this point._

_There was no going back._

_And Sara continued calling him…_

_Panicked, Gil released one hand and closed his eyes, ready to jump the mile back down to where he began no matter what the consequences._

_She was calling him._

_His desire for revenge quickly was replaced with the overwhelming panic of returning to his love._

_She needed him._

_He was here…and she was alone._

_Gil chastised himself, channelling his anger towards Nick inwards._

_He cursed the emotions that led him to this predicament._

_In his macho desire for satisfaction, he had placed yet another barrier between them._

_In a heartbeat, Gil no longer wanted to punish Nick._

_He realized that in pursuing these feelings, he was shutting out the woman who needed his total focus._

_And he _wouldn'_t leave her alone. Not _ever_ again._

_He needed to get back to Sara._

_Looking down, he prayed that he could survive his foolishness and return to his Sara._

_He promised all that was holy that he would bury his jealousy and hatred._

_He no longer was filled with the need for revenge._

_He just needed to get back to Sara. _

_Just as he was about to release the other hand, he felt a strong arm reach down and hoist him up to the fencetop._

_There he sat, next to the man he had thought of as a son for what felt like another lifetime ago._

_He was face-to-face with Nick._

_Gil sat silently, trying to make sense of this experience._

_Softly, Nick spoke._

"_Grissom. You will never know how sorry I am for what happened with Sara. I don't know how she could, but in that big heart of hers she has forgiven me."_

_Turning to him, Gil found them standing now as Nick backed away and hugged his arms around himself._

"_You feel jealous of my connection with Sara, Gil._

_But truthfully, I am the one who still struggles with her feelings for you._

_I love Sara, Gil. I won't lie to you._

_I think I have always loved her._

_But Sara loves you Gil, she always has, even when she wouldn't admit it to herself. _

_And even though she does love me, it was never near the love she has carried in her heart for you._

_You're worried about not loving this baby because it is not your biological child."_

_Nick looked away, knowing that his next statement would not be pleasant to admit._

_Turning back, his eyes pleaded for Gil to really listen to his message._

"_This baby… was not conceived in love, Gil. _

_But _you_ can be the father who gives her a life full of love._

_She may have _my_ blood running in her veins. _

_But she will have _your_ arms cradling her when she cries._

_And it will be _your _laugh ringing in her ears._

_And it will be _your_ love she carries in her heart, as _you_ protect her from the hurt the world can inflict._

_You've known the pain of feeling unloved._

_She _will_ be _your_ daughter, and you will have the chance to make sure she never knows a minute of that heartache."_

Nick paused, looking away in an attempt to regain his composure.

_Closing his eyes, he continued with a crack in his voice._

"_I will always be watching out for Sara, and for the baby, whenever they feel alone in their distress._

_But you will be there for them everyday._

_You have the opportunity to see that they never feel alone."_

_His smile was strong, but his voice wavered._

"_Don't…please…don't let your memory of me stop you from enjoying this God-given gift._

_They're your family, Gil._

Your_ family."_

"_My family," Gil repeated, unconscious of the sudden need to speak._

"Your_ baby."_

"_My baby," Gil spoke a bit softer._

"Your_ Sara."_

"_My Sara," he finished on a breath._

_Nick smiled and his gaze followed the length of fence._

_When Gil turned to follow his line of vision, he was surprised to see that his feet were again standing on the green grass._

_Turning, he noticed that Nick was again on the other side of the fence._

_Looking like he wanted to say more, Nick just shook his head softly and cocked his head to the side._

"_We okay, Griss?"_

_Inhaling the wonderfully comforting scents of the green pastures, Gil smiled at Nick, noting that his feelings of hostility had abated._

"_Yeah, Nick. We're okay."_

_Nick smiled and began to walk backwards._

"_Your family," he spoke as he pointed a finger for emphasis._

"_My family," Gil repeated._

"_Your baby," Nick said, suddenly almost out of sight._

"_My family," Gil felt himself say aloud._

"_Your Sara," Nick's voice traveled over the now empty pasture._

"_My Sara," Gil whispered on an exhale, which was suddenly halted by the pressure of lips on his lips._

His eyes flew open to find Sara lifting her face from his, worriedly.

"Gil…are you alright, baby? You were mumbling in your sleep, I couldn't wake you."

Glancing around to get his bearings, he pulled Sara hard into his embrace.

"My Sara," he whispered, peppering her hair, her eyes, her cheeks with kisses as he released her enough only to keep her face between his hands.

Sara laughed as she leaned in for a deeper kiss.

"Marry me, Sara. Today. Be my wife. Let's begin our life together..forever."

Pulling away, he pushed her hair away from her face as he looked into her eyes.

"I love you, Sara. _Please_ marry me."

Seeing how she strained to remain in her present position, Gil immediately cursed himself and flipped her on her back.

He just lay there over her, glancing down in awe at this perfect person who had loved him through it all.

"I love you so much, Sara.

We are going to be such a happy family."

A small tear threatened but Sara shook it off.

Her new life with Gil was going to be marked with smiles and rejoicing in their wonderful life.

Only happy tears would occasionally be allowed.

"Sara, are you tired?" Gil asked between kisses.

"Well…what did you have in mind?" she asked saucily, making him almost forget that nurses and visitors were walking past their unlockable door.

He kissed her with abandon, then pulled himself back against her pillows bringing her to rest in his protective embrace.

"Just keep that thought until we get home tomorrow," Gil laughed, kissing the top of her head.

"Would you …could we…talk…about the wedding?" he sputtered, and Sara turned her head thinking how adorable he was when he was excited.

"Relax, Gil. Whatever you want."

He leaned down and touched her lips reverently.

"You. I only want you."

Sara gifted him with the smile that stole his heart so many years ago, as she sighed, "Oh, Gil…"


	76. Chapter 76

A/N: This story is preparing for its happy ending, just a few loose ends to wrap up…as Grissom's final episode left us all smiling, this chapter offers nothing to take that smile away…sigh…I enjoyed this chapter, hope it pleases you also…thanks for the great reader response and wonderful reviews…it means more than you know…you people are just terrific…more as soon as possible…GSR RULES!... –Kathy

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Ten days later, Sara was beginning to tire of what she termed her "house arrest".

The day after they came home from the hospital, Grissom had grumbled but Ecklie was insistent that Gil come into work to deal with the triple homicide as the shift was really short with both Sara and Sofia on leave.

Monica had volunteered to stay with Sara while Gil worked, and it was only knowing that she was left in such capable hands that he agreed to leave her side.

Having been filled in on the phone calls, Brass had even scheduled cruisers to include Grissom's townhouse on their regular beat when Gil was at the lab.

But Grissom had been absolutely adamant that Sara remain inside the townhouse.

So now, on this tenth day Sara found herself in the kitchen going head-to-head with a stubborn Grissom.

Having returned from a hectic shift, Grissom was still no closer to solving the perplexing homicide mystery.

Gil was concentrating on leaving the problem in the lab, wanting to focus solely on making his love a nutritious breakfast.

Sara was concentrating on getting her name back on the active status board for tonight's shift.

She felt her arguments were sound, and she noted in a voice that was increasing in volume that any _reasonable_ person would agree with their merits:

1. She was feeling better than at any time during her pregnancy, all tests confirming that she and the baby were in good health.

2. She had not had one upsetting phone call since she had come home from the hospital.

3. She was making headway in her sessions with Monica, who at first was suspicious but finally had to agree that Sara was dealing truthfully with her feelings, and overcoming her symptoms of post-traumatic stress well.

4. Daniel had certified her healthy enough for lab work.

Again, she tried to calm her voice when she pointed out that it was _Grissom_ himself who was being "unreasonable" about his overprotective need to shield her and their child from harm.

Secretly, Gil agreed with all her arguments; in fact he was overjoyed that Sara seemed truly content, at peace, _free from fear_.

And silently, he had to admit that her arguments – under other circumstances – would be persuasive.

He even had to admit that he understood how being away from the job and the people could be hard for her.

But in his quieter moments since their return home from the hospital, his mind constantly replayed that last horrible scene of Sara collapsing in their bathroom, almost incoherent, upset beyond telling…and how helpless he had felt knowing there was nothing he could do to make it better beyond calling 911.

If he managed to shake off _those_ thoughts, the memory of her upsetting admission about the cell phone stalker left a dull ache deep within his depths…and how helpless he had felt again at not being able to shield her from that torment.

_No_!…no matter how she droned on and on about wanting to kick out the walls of this "ivory tower" to which he had sequestered her, he wasn't ready to let her face the threats that lurked outside the comfort of their home.

Sara continued ranting, while Gil's arms continued their circular motion as he finished whipping the waffle batter until smooth.

He was grateful that this action prevented Sara from seeing the shudder that wracked his body at the memory of her listless body in his arms and the haunted look of her eyes during her confession.

No…he wasn't prepared to let her leave this sanctuary he maintained for her.

Here, she was healthy, smiling, _happy, _for the first time in a very long time.

That happiness was worth any price to achieve it.

He would do _anything_ to keep her that way.

He promised himself he'd work doubles, even triples, to cover their caseloads if it meant that she would not be subjected to the threat posed by the secretive caller.

So he refused to put her back on the work schedule.

Sara protested loudly.

Gil turned towards her, crossed his arms, and simply shook his head authoritatively.

Sara insisted boisterously, nearly stamping her foot.

Gil chuckled at how adorable she was when she was pouting, making her feel like a petulant child.

She turned away from him, wrapping her arms tightly around her midsection, her frustration causing a silent tear to escape from her downcast eyes, racing towards her trembling lip.

Hoping she would forget this disagreement and focus on sharing their breakfast, Gil moved towards her as he put a hand softly on her tense shoulder to turn her towards him.

As she was refusing to look into his eyes, his weathered hand gently cupped her chin and drew her face upwards to see him.

The sight of that one tear was his undoing.

Gil agreed instantly.

His head was telling him all the reasons he needed to stick to his guns, denying her access to the lab.

His heart was forcing him to agree to anything that would stop the tears from flowing.

He pulled her tightly to him, whispering softly that he loved her, only wanted to protect her, needing her to understand this, needing her to calm down, shhh…

Sara dried her eyes against the soft brushed cotton of his polo shirt.

She cursed her hormones. Here she was, needing to display to him that she was indeed ready for work, and she begins crying the minute he won't give in.

Still, she was loathe to pull out of his embrace.

Truth be known, her real desire to return to the lab was not to work on the newest case.

No, her real desire was to be with him.

She missed the closeness they had come to experience in these last few months together.

In quiet moments, she fondly relived some of that dream of speaking to Nick.

_Our happily ever after._

Suddenly, the need to finish planning for their wedding became terribly important to Sara.

For many years, she had maintained that "it was only a piece of paper".

But in that night at the Bellagio, she had experienced the intensity that followed making those vows to the person with whom you would spend the rest of your life.

And making love afterwards _was_ different.

And it _was_ special waking up besides a person who knows your flaws, but declared to the world that forever he will love you anyway.

And she was finding it harder to wait until she was Sara Grissom all over again.

Gil pulled her back slightly, rubbing one fist lightly over her cheeks to dry the remaining droplets.

"We'll figure it out, honey. Let's talk about it after breakfast."

Her reply puzzled him.

"No…no, after breakfast, I want to talk about …something else."

His angst radar immediately deployed.

"You okay? Something worrying you? About the baby?"

She shook her head, but he was in panic protective mode.

"Sara, tell me. Please, do you have any pain? Contractions?" he spoke rapidly, and Sara might have laughed if she wasn't so concerned about how he had spun himself up so quickly.

"Hey…I'm okay…we're okay…relax, honey," she soothed as she placed her hand softly against his beard, caressing it soothingly.

"Let's sit down," Gil said quickly, and before she could respond he had whirled around to unplug the waffle iron and was pulling on her elbow to escort her to their comfortable love seat.

In the short time that Sara had lived here, the three-cushioned couch was their lounging spot. Gil could sit and prop his feet on the ottoman while Sara reclined full out with her head in his lap…or vice versa.

But the love seat was rarely used by either of them. It was their spot for heart-to-heart talks, forcing them to stay in proximity to each other while they each had an opportunity to maintain a separate space.

Gil felt the need to use this space, as he wanted Sara close to him but didn't want to invade her space as she told him what was on her mind.

Sara smiled as he sat on his cushion, but waited to help her down to her side before he turned towards her in silent submission, giving her the first chance to speak.

Again, she noticed how his tense posture betrayed his anxiety, and she was sorry he was feeling so defensive.

"Gil…honey, please relax…it's just that I was thinking…about us…getting married," she faltered as she tried to speak before fully forming her thoughts.

_He's starting to rub off on me that way._

When her eyes met his a second later, she noted the panic in his now unblinking eyes, as his hands closed on hers a bit tighter in response.

_She's going to tell me she's changed her mind. She doesn't want this…she doesn't want…_me…

Cursing herself inwardly, Sara jumped in to damage control mode.

Forgetting the stupid "stay on your own cushion" loveseat rule, she leaned towards him, capturing his mouth in an almost punishing kiss.

When she pulled back into her own space, an almost pompous smile decorated her face as she looked at his closed eyes and his adorable still-puckered mouth which was slightly bruised from her attack.

She squeezed his hands, and his eyes fluttered open.

_That was SO not what I was expecting! She still LOVES me!_

Knowing that she now had his intention, Sara crawled over into his welcoming embrace as she made herself comfortable sitting on his lap.

Her finger circled his sternum slowly, drawing lazy patterns that were beginning to send messages to his lower regions.

"Wha-" Gil managed to squeak out, before having to clear his throat roughly to begin again. "What did you want to talk about, honey?"

Sara lay her head snuggling against his neck, "I want us to get married. Soon."

Gil closed his eyes as his arms encircled her tightly.

_You really have to stop doing that to yourself, Gilbert! You're going to give yourself a heart attack one of these days if you don't calm down! The girl loves you…why? I don't know…but she wants to be with you…so calm down._

"Calm down," he said aloud, causing Sara's forehead to crinkle as she sat up and asked,

"Don't you?"

"You do?" he spoke in answer, leaving both of them feeling in need of an interpreter.

Sara's mind cleared a bit more quickly, and she burst into laughter as she leaned happily against him.

He loved to hear her laugh.

She turned again to bury herself into his embrace, smiling as she looked into his still silent face.

"I do," she said softly, and Gil smiled as he recalled the first time she had spoken those words surrounded by daisies and stars.

"I just have one request," she spoke, leaning up towards him.

"Name it, and it's yours," he said so quietly, Sara fell a bit more in love with him.

"Would you…it's okay if you'd rather not…I just wondered-"

"_SA-RA!_..."

"Okay, okay…I just thought maybe …you…could plan the wedding for us?"

She finished and closed her eyes quickly, slowly opening lest she find him upset about once again having to make all the arrangements.

Instead, he sat there in shock.

"Honey…are you sure? I mean, before…you weren't well…I rushed you-"

"STOP IT!"

Her words conveyed her annoyance with the topic.

Sara sat forward and brought her face close to his.

"Last time, let's call it our _rehearsal_, was the most wonderful night of my entire life!

I won't listen to you say another word against it!

It was so _romantic_…it was so _perfect_…" she sniffled, and he cursed himself for upsetting her again this morning.

"Sara, honey I'm-"

"And stop apologizing! Geez, you think you are the Happy Police, or something?" she broke in, trying to lighten the mood.

He sat quietly, holding her close as she continued.

"I'm no good at this type of stuff. Catherine knows so much, where to get a dress, where to buy a cake, the right chapel, the right minister, the right _everything_!" she said self-consciously, causing Gil to want to protest, but keeping quiet as she leveled him with a gaze.

"And yes, it IS true, Gilbert, and you know it," she said before letting out a sigh.

"It doesn't have to be a storybook wedding, because I've already gotten my Prince Charming," she finished in a small voice, noticing with a smile that he was beginning to blush even as she pulled him in for a righteous kiss.

"So will you?" she asked, pulling away from him after kissing him with abandon for a full minute.

"Will I what?" Gil answered groggily, admitting internally that he would never be able to deny her anything if she was going to ask _so_ nicely.

Sara laughed and snuggled close to him.

After a companionable silence, the two lovers kissed again before Gil reminded them about breakfast.

Sara was not particularly hungry, fatigue washing over her.

Gil agreed to skip the macho breakfast until later, if Sara would have a fruit smoothie before bed.

As he turned towards the counter where she sat, he couldn't help but fall a little deeper in love with this woman who owned his heart – even if she was almost asleep sitting up.

"Here," he said softly, pouring some of the nutritious drink into a smaller cup, "just have a bit and I'll freeze the rest."

By the time he had cleaned up in the kitchen, Sara was definitely on her way to dreamland.

Gil scooped her up effortlessly, and this time she didn't protest.

She snuggled close and breathed in the essence of his scent, causing her eyelids to droop in worry-free bliss.

He left her dressed in her comfortable sweatpants as he lay her on her pillows, moving to close the door and join her.

Sleep settling over her, Gil pulled Sara against him and they drifted off that way.

-----------

At the lab, the Sheriff was embroiled in a debate with Brass who was making connections between Sofia's absence and the cessation of the calls to Sara's phone.

"Ten days, Sheriff. Hardly what I'd call a coincidence!"

"I'd need to see more evidence before I'd accept that theory," the Sheriff spoke, more inclined to agree with him, but not willing to be in the hot seat if the theory didn't pan out.

"Then, get me an order to search her apartment," Brass said, again meeting with resistance.

"So…another Catch-22."

The Sheriff nodded at Brass, willing him to understand the position in which a wrongful inquiry could place them both.

After a moment, the Sheriff smiled.

"But there's nothing to say we couldn't check on her itinerary, I assume she left one with Conrad," the Sheriff began, Jim's eyes suddenly lighting up.

"Yeah, with contact numbers…and not necessarily her department issued phone," he added.

"I'm sure CSI Sidle would have not problems with us comparing her call log with those numbers," Brass said, ecstatic to having a new lead to follow.

"I'll get right on it, Sheriff," the detective spoke, hurrying out the door.

Ecklie was in a mood.

And a visit from Jim Brass was the last thing he needed this morning.

For the last two days, Conrad had tried Sofia's contact phone several times, having a few late night "urges" to satisfy.

Those attempts to contact her leaving him unsatisfied, the last thing he wanted to do now was give this detective any information on Sofia.

After all, he and Warrick were two of the reasons she needed to get away for awhile.

"So…she's a suspect, now?" Ecklie stormed towards Brass angrily, but the policeman remained unflappable.

"I never said that, Conrad," Jim answered condescendingly.

"What I _said_ was I needed to see the itinerary and contact information for Sofia's little getaway…and I need them _right now_."

Ecklie practically flung the file at Brass, who seemed not to notice.

His brow furrowing, Jim looked into Conrad's daggered gaze.

"She took _all_ these planes?"

Ecklie sat down.

"Conrad…she had reservations on _all these_ planes?"

Conrad leaned on his left elbow, rubbing his finger absently over his lower lip.

"_Conrad_…you are sitting there telling me that Sofia took _all these planes_?"

After a moment, he tried to suppress his rising upset as stared up into the steely eyes of the detective, who now was in full work mode.

I_ was the one who made all those reservations. Dammit! How am I going to explain _this _to the Sheriff?_

Clearing his throat, Ecklie squared his shoulders and stood at his desk, glaring down at the diminutive detective.

"I can explain that…" he began, trailing off when he saw a smug grin begin to spread across Jim's face.

"Why don't you do that? Somewhere more comfortable, perhaps?"

He gripped the file firmly as he headed towards Ecklie's door.

Turning, he yanked it open and motioned with his head as he spoke, "Downtown. Let's go, shall we?"

Ecklie's fist clenched tightly, as Brass stood and watched it close angrily.

Smiling internally, Jim said to himself, "You look like you are _so_ busted, Conrad!"

Ecklie's first movement was quick, almost dangerous in his nearness to Brass.

Unflinching, Jim leaned towards Conrad as his right hand settled on the safety of his pistol.

"Go ahead, Connie…make my day…"

Ecklie seethed, and Brass chuckled as his suspect flew through the doorway and down the hall.

Reaching around to turn off the light, Jim paused a second to turn out the lights.

With his hand resting on the switch, his eyes flew to the comfortable office, much more spacious and reeking of high-handed importance than Grissom's small room.

"Hmm, wonder if they sublet…" he thought aloud, chuckling again as he closed the door.

------------

Gil had rested well, but not for a long time.

His brain was on overload, thinking about Sara's request, realizing he had never even given his fiancée an answer.

He wanted it to be perfect this time.

Gil lay there breathing slowly in and slowly out, each exhale rolling Sara a bit closer to his heart.

_I love her._

_I want her to be happy with me…forever._

_What would make her happy?_

Ever idea he ever had about romance had gone into their first attempt at marriage.

He wouldn't repeat any of those ideas.

He wanted this to be a new, fresh memory.

So whatever he did last time, he needed to do the opposite this time around.

_Before it was inside but on the patio under the stars…so this time should be outside in the light of day…_

He closed his eyes imagining how beautiful she would look, sunbeams radiantly dancing over the curls of her deep brown hair.

_Before it was Sara, alone, riding on the cart with me escorting her…so this time it should be Sara walking on someone's arm, while I stand waiting for her…_

He smiled as he watched his dream Sara shyly glance downwards until their eyes finally met…as she reached where he stood, to begin their life together.

_Before there were single daisies littering the cart, the tables, our bed…_

A deep sigh was followed by his body's reaction to the memories of Sara being laid down on top of the king sized bedcovers looking so beautiful in the little field of daisies…

That thought shocked him into an idea that he felt was past being perfect…it was _ingenious_.

His delight made him stir excitedly, almost waking Sara.

He shushed her back to sleep, lazily stroking her back until her breathing evened out again.

Glancing down, he thanked the powers above for the inspiration.

He knew now the _what_ and _where_…now to confirm the _when_.

Reaching down, he laid a soft kiss on Sara's head, thinking how for him the big day couldn't be soon enough.

He tried to relax, but the adrenaline was coursing through him.

There was much to do.

To begin, he'd have to speak to two people: his lawyer, and Logan.

Laying there outlining their wedding plans for what seemed like hours, he rolled over to glance at the clock.

Groaning, he realized that in under two hours, Sara would be back at work.

His worry would escalate, he knew that, and they would have words…and he was hating going in to work already.

In the darkness that surrounded them, Gil realized that lately, he was expressing that sentiment quite frequently.

For the next hour, Grissom began to create a mental list of Pros and Cons about his job.

At the end of the exercise, he wasn't exactly happy with the realization of what he had created.

Sara began stirring in his arms, drawing him out of his thoughts as his eyes quickly scanned her body nestled closely to his.

He couldn't help but smile at the small bump that was their baby.

His hand caressed the area softly, willing this baby to know it would know love from the first moment of its appearance.

Fatherly instincts joined with protective feelings for Sara, overwhelming him towards a clarity that somewhat shocked him as he lay there with his family snuggled in his defensive care.

Gil revised his plan for the week, so easily it almost startled him.

There would now be _three_ people he would need to meet with…

Sara stirred again, her lips pouting slightly as if she were ending a delicious dream.

Without thought, Gil leaned towards her and kissed her lightly at first, strengthening his kiss after a half-moment.

Pulling away, he gazed down at this woman who he would love forever, as she stretched lazily in his arms, smiling softly and whispering before her eyes were fully opened, "Oh, Gil…"


	77. Chapter 77

A/N: Moving forward, a few more loose ends wrapping up…a slightly longer chapter to thank you for your patience with the delay in posting…total happiness just a few chapters away…thanks for the terrific reviews and reader response…they really do make my day…sigh…is there anything better than GSR?...hope this pleases…more as soon as possible… - Kathy

--------

Ecklie stormed out of his seat in the interrogation room.

"You can't possibly believe I had anything to do with Sofia's late return to the lab!" he insisted heatedly, although he had a sinking feeling he was fast becoming the primary suspect.

"Really?" Brass responded coolly, "and I supposed these credit card charges shouldn't lead us down that path?"

Ecklie ran his hand over his head roughly. _This was looking worse by the minute…_

"I explained that!" Conrad shouted again, forgetting the first rule of investigators was to get the suspect off-balanced so that the truth would spill out as their guard was down.

"Well, perhaps you should explain it again because from where I sit it sure looks like you were instrumental in planning her escape-"

"She wanted to get away. Sofia needed to get away, said she needed some privacy – away from _your_ prying eyes…"

"And what was she doing that would be interpreted so wrongly by my "prying eyes"?"

Silence ensued, and Brass decided to add some tinder to the fire.

"Yeah, we were keeping a close watch on Sofia. I know she was up to something, and I think I've kind of figured things out.

She was different after Nick Stokes was killed…she always seemed too interested in what Sara-"

Brass was interrupted by Ecklie's temper exploding.

"SIDLE? Is THAT what this witch hunt is about? _Damn _that woman!" Ecklie spat as he stood and slammed his chair sideways.

Brass sat motionless, years of interrogation causing him not to flinch outwardly, even though his temper was rising at the words spewing forth from Ecklie's mouth.

As he now leaned menacingly forward towards Brass, it was obvious that the detective had played the right hunch.

"I TOLD Grissom, a long time ago, that that woman was a loose cannon. She comes in here, to _my_ lab, and starts seducing her way around until all the men in this department are so aroused they fall into that, that, that _white knight_ routine."

Brass' face was becoming flushed, the tightening of his grip on the armchair the only indication that this tirade was angering him.

"And poor Sofia-"

"That's enough," Brass warned, his tone bitter but unheeded by a ranting Ecklie.

"_She's_ just a true beauty, inside and out…now _there's_ someone _definitely_ worth your attention, just trying to do her job the best she knows how-"

"I said, that's enough!" boomed Brass, now standing and leaning forward to square off with Ecklie as the officer at the door began wondering if he should step in.

"And_ that little tramp_ just bats her eyes, probably tells a little "woe is me" sob story, and suddenly everyone's after poor Sofia-"

"SHUT UP!" Brass said, his fists tightening menacingly.

"I WON'T shut up! First, she gets Grissom wrapped around her finger, then she spreads those legs for Stokes – and look at where _that_ got the poor bastard-"

Suddenly, Ecklie's words were silenced by the forward lunge of Brass to grab the lapels of his suitcoat.

"YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" Brass yelled emotionally.

But before there was time for Ecklie to respond, the door to the interrogation room burst open to reveal an angry Warrick.

He had been stoic watching the interrogation from the observation room, steeling himself to the irritation of Ecklie's spoken defense, but those last remarks about Sara were just more than he could bear.

Before anyone could prevent his entry, his long legs had crossed the distance around the table. Without pause for anyone to breathe, 'Ric hauled off and leveled Ecklie with one blow.

Brass shook his head to clear the shock, the officer was moving forward until he felt Brass' hand splayed across his chest to stop him.

"Get up!" glowered 'Ric angrily. "Get up so I can level you again, you bastard!"

Wisely, Ecklie stayed down.

Not to be denied his satisfaction, Warrick leaned down and pulled Ecklie up by the lapels before smashing his fist once again into this midsection causing Conrad to double over and sink again to the floor.

"Now." Brass said without turning as he moved his hand away from the officer's chest.

With that, the policeman moved forward and pulled Ecklie into his chair while Warrick watched fuming.

" 'Ric. Go." Brass said, exchanging glances.

Before he could protest, Brass raised his chin a bit more in demand. "Go. _Now_."

Shaking his stinging fist, Warrick turned and glared at Brass before slamming the door behind him.

"You saw that! I want him up on charges!" Ecklie spoke weakly.

"Conrad, Conrad, come on, man…two old time friends like you and Brown?...just having a little "talk" because you dissed one of the sweetest women ever born? Please…what judge is going to believe that Warrick could mean to hurt you...after all you've been to each other?" Brass replied, saucily.

Even the usually unemotional officer had to smirk before resuming his post.

Leaning forward, Brass spoke conspiratorially, "Here's what I think, Connie. I think you helped Sofia do some pretty vile things to Sara.

I think you helped her escape from our imposed surveillance.

I think she decided that she didn't need you anymore, but you couldn't handle that, could you?"

"Sofia's coming back to me!" Ecklie spouted, but even he could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

"So, I think you couldn't stand the rejection."

"She was grateful for the help! You should have seen her reactionn when she saw all those airline tickets-"

Leaning back, Brass sighed as his fingers lightly drummed the tabletop, seeming to ignoring Ecklie's outburst.

"You made sure we couldn't find her, so she could continue with her plan to hurt Sara…only she left…you …all…alone,"

"She contacted me the day she left! She's coming back to me!"

"No, I think it must have torn you to pieces that Sara was going to marry Grissom, and despite all you'd done to sabotage her wedding to Stokes, today she's getting ready, still going to have her happily ever after."

"That slut will _never_ be happy-" Ecklie began to fume, and Brass smiled and moved in for the kill.

"Now, that "slut" you are talking about _is_ Sofia , right?"

Ecklie stood again, facing Brass angrily.

"What? You sure seem protective over that little Sidle bitch! Wait! "

Ecklie paused, his evil smirk taunting Brass. "Don't tell me she's doing _you_, too?"

For the second time in five minutes, Ecklie found himself again knocked to the ground with an uppercut to the jaw.

The officer moved forward a step, but decided to wait for instructions.

He knew CSI Sidle to be a hard working, benevolent soul whose empathy for victims and their families was transparent to most of the force. He was in no rush to intervene here, only to have to endure hearing more of Ecklie's venom.

Rubbing his jaw, Ecklie pulled himself to sit in the chair.

Realizing he had said more than he wanted to, he glared at Brass and continued.

"You'll see! Sofia will be back any day now. Then my lawyers will have a field day with suing this department for false arrest!"

"So…he wants a lawyer?" Brass asked the officer in a stage whisper.

The officer smiled. Ecklie fumed. Brass decided he had had enough.

"Conrad Ecklie, you are hereby being remanded to custody for a period of 72 hours, until such a time as your involvement with the stalking case against Sara Sidle and your role in the disappearance of Sofia Curtis can be investigated further. This officer will read you your rights."

The officer did so, with pleasure.

While they were being read, Conrad boomed, "I want a lawyer."

Brass nodded to the officer, "Get this bozo a quarter on the way to lockup."

Hearing the clink of the metal bracelets around Ecklie's wrists had to be one of the sweetest sounds Brass had ever heard.

Sitting alone for a moment to collect his thoughts, Brass knew the Sheriff would question his placing Ecklie on ice with such flimsy evidence.

But after the hurtful things he had said and done concerning Sara over the last few years, spending time in a holding cell with some of the characters Ecklie himself had probably pulled off the streets at one time or another might just help even the score a bit.

With a small smile still on his face, he moved out into the corridor that led to the Sheriff's office.

Flexing his fingers in his stinging fist, Brass made a mental note to buy Warrick a beer after shift…

---------

Meanwhile, Grissom muttered under his breath as he found someone's car was occupying his usual parking spot.

Sara smiled over the center console, knowing full well his anger was misplaced at the incident.

_He's so worried about me. I wish I could get him to focus on something other than me for a while._

_That_ thought made her almost laugh out loud.

_After all these years, Sara, and _now_ you want him to _not_ focus on you?_

Her hand slipped over to rest on his upper thigh. She could feel how tense he was

"I'm going to be okay, you know?" she spoke quietly, and waited for him to release some of his pent-up emotions.

Instead, he just exhaled slowly.

"I know," he almost whispered back, seemingly focused on expertly parking the Denali in a narrow spot at the end of the row under an overhanging branch of a shade tree.

Through the shadows of the partially obscured lighting, Sara was having difficulty reading the tale of his thoughts through the look in Gil's eyes.

After a moment of engine silence, he turned to her slowly.

Across the inches of their physical distance, Sara suddenly felt the chasm of their impending separation.

The reflective quiet was broken seconds later by the feel of her hand gently cupping the side of his face.

"It will be alright, Gil."

When his eyes closed, Sara began to question her decision. _Maybe I'm _not_ ready to do this._

Her eyes closed against the panic that emerged from out of nowhere.

That was when she felt him mirroring her actions.

"Yes, you will, Sara…just-…if you-…please-" he almost stuttered, and she opened her eyes to see the concern in his.

_Just how deeply _can_ you fall in love with someone?_

"I'll be fine, Gil," Sara spoke and his response made her brows furrow.

He laughed.

Gil Grissom was sitting there, chuckle turning into a downright belly laugh!

"WHAT is so funny?" she asked over the sound filling the SUV.

Gil tried to contain himself, but every time he looked at Sara he was overtaken by another fit of the giggles.

When a small tear started trailing down his cheek, Sara couldn't help but smile followed by her submission to the infectious sound.

"Gilbert!"

He unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned over to envelope her in a soothing hug.

Leaning back a bit, the smile still containing a trace of the giggles, he kissed her lightly.

"Boy, if I had a dollar for every time I heard you say you were "fine"," he laughed and kissed her again.

Sara slapped at him playfully, but succumbed to his need to pull her close one final time before shift started.

Even though there was still worry in his heart, Sara's response had been spot on perfect.

_Thank you, Sara, for that…I feel like you really are more like your old self before all this mess started at the beginning of the summer…maybe-…no, no maybes…I trust you…if you tell me you're "fine", then I will believe you…_

He pulled her into a kiss that threatened to deepen. Reluctantly, he pulled away and looked into those brown pools that had stolen his heart a long time ago.

_Please, God, just keep them both safe._

His hand came to rest on her ever so slightly protruding abdomen as his gaze never faltered.

"Okay, mommy…guess it's time for work."

The shocked look on Sara's face was soon mirrored on Gil's as she smiled lovingly and said, "Okay, daddy…let's go."

Gil smiled broadly as he pecked her lips before turning away. As Sara's hand reached for the knob, he pulled slightly on her hand in silent direction to wait for him to open the door for her.

Watching him round the front of the Denali, Sara's heart raced as she watched his protective side emerge.

She thought she had never felt so secure, so cared for, so _loved_.

The door opened, and for a moment Sara just sat there.

Her split second of indecision was eased by Gil leaning into the cab for another embrace.

"I'll be right here, Sara. I won't let anything happen to you, honey," he said reassuringly.

Although he wanted to scoop her in his arms and run as fast as possible in the other direction, Gil knew Sara had something to prove to herself.

Besides, after his meetings, perhaps this would all be a moot point anyway….

Once inside, Gil beamed as lab techs and CSI's seemed to suddenly come from every direction to greet Sara and welcome her back.

Perhaps the most touching moment came when Warrick parted the crowd and simply scooped up Sara in a warm, enduring embrace.

"Hey, girl," he whispered a bit emotionally.

Gil's brows crinkled momentarily, wondering what had transpired recently to warrant this reaction upon seeing Sara.

Pulling back, Sara beamed a smile at Warrick causing him to break out a face-splitting grin of his own.

His arm firmly around her, 'Ric looked over towards Gil and said, "Still partners tonight, right boss?"

Knowing he could entrust Sara's safety to this CSI, Gil nodded as he forced himself to stand there and watch his love disappear from sight in the midst of the happy sounds that enveloped her as the group moved towards the break room.

Standing alone in the middle of reception for a few seconds, Gil suddenly felt very alone.

Guilt overcame him as he thought of the many years Sara must have felt this way, remaining behind while he refused to pair them together, leaving her alone and worse – needing him to lessen her loneliness.

His footsteps quickened until he found himself at the breakroom door only to almost plow directly into Sara as she started exiting the room with wide eyes and fast steps.

Almost bouncing off each other, Gil's first worry was that he had harmed the baby.

Without thought, his hand went out in concern to Sara's abdomen.

She flung her arms around him tightly, but he turned them without separation towards his office.

Flinging the door open, he flipped on the switch and kicked the door closed before sealing her within his full embrace.

"Sara?" he asked quietly, hoping nothing had harmed her.

"I just missed you…I can't explain it…" her voice muffled as she clung to him.

"I turned around…and you…you weren't there…" she continued, still buried in her favorite resting spot in the crook of his neck.

Gil smiled. She still needed him!

"Let's sit down, honey," he offered and pulled her onto his lap slowly.

After a moment, Sara relaxed visibly and when she started to draw lazy patterns across his chest he knew she was feeling better.

"I'm so sorry, Gil, " she gulped and he knew she was restraining the tears from flowing.

"I guess- I guess I panicked when I didn't see you," Sara said softly, hating that Gil would think she was so vulnerable.

"Oh, sweetheart," Gil cooed as he pressed his lips to her temple.

"First night back jitters, that's all," he smiled as she pulled back.

She was so close. All he had to do was kiss her and tell her he was taking her home. Instead he said:

"You'll do fine. You're ready for this. And I'll be here if you need me," he spoke reassuringly, wondering which of them he was trying to assure.

He understood her need to return her life to normalcy. And although he would worry about her, he needed to give her this chance.

But the decision had to be hers.

"So, what's the verdict, honey? Do you want to stay, or go?"

Feeling his support, seeing his smile, enveloped in his arms, Sara felt as if she could conquer the world.

"Well," she said saucily, "if you can get your hands off me, I guess it's time to work."

He chuckled, but took an extra moment to seal their goodbye with a loving kiss.

"Would you like to have breakfast with me?" he inquired, and Sara couldn't help but think of all the years she had dreamed of him asking her that as they sat in his office before shift.

"I'd love to, Dr. Grissom," she smiled and he pecked her lips one final time.

Placing his hand over their baby, he said softly, "Please take care of both of you tonight."

"I love you, Gil."

Four simple words that suddenly defined his entire existence.

Leading her back to the breakroom, Gil was anxious to pass out assignments and get to that meeting…

Moments later, Gil passed Brass as he rounded the corner of the hallway leading to the Sheriff's office.

Unsure of how to break the news of Ecklie's present situation and Sofia's suspected involvement in Sara's recent situation, the detective paused and placed a hand on Gil's forearm to gain his attention.

"Going to see the big man?" he quipped and Gil nodded in response.

"Come see me when you're done," he spoke, but the CSI noted the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Trouble?" Gil queried, but Brass only said, "When you're done…"

Hurrying off, Grissom paused as he reflected on both Warrick's and Brass' behavior. He would be glad to take that meeting as soon as he was done here…

Upon being admitted, Gil wasted no time getting to the point.

Placing several pieces of paper on the Sheriff's desk, Gil sat back and allowed his boss to read through the meeting's simple agenda.

Sighing loudly, the Sheriff tented his hands and rested his pouting lips on his fingertips before speaking.

"Well, I can't say this is a total surprise."

Gil remained mute as the Sheriff leaned back, considering him thoughtfully.

As his boss began relaxing with a small smile, Grissom listened as he found himself addressed informally.

"So, when's the big day?"

Gil smiled and said, "That is the focus of my NEXT meeting during break time this shift. But as soon as possible."

The Sheriff smiled. He knew Gil would be good for Sara, and he knew Gil's involvement with Sara had done him a world of good as well.

"This-" the Sheriff paused as he pointed to the other paperwork, "really isn't a surprise exactly, but it does come at a price."

Gil frowned, his eyes darting from the paperwork to the Sheriff's smirking gaze.

He remained silent until the Sheriff continued.

"It certainly will help your cause if I receive an invitation to the big day."

Both men smiled and Grissom was surprised at the huskiness of his voice when he answered, "Done."

The Sheriff paused, reflecting over the paperwork for a moment longer than necessary before finally signing both copies, retaining one set and handing the other back to Grissom.

After a heartbeat, both men stood simultaneously and shook hands.

Once again out in the corridor, Gil leaned back against the wall.

_That went surprisingly well._

Suddenly, Gil was overwhelmed with the need to see Sara…

-----

Warrick had been given the watchdog duty with clandestine instruction not to leave Sara out of his sight.

So when Doc Robbins had called to say the autopsy report on the third homicide victim was finally complete, Warrick felt conflicted.

They needed that report, yet Sara was knee-deep in evidence sorting and couldn't get away easily.

After a moment, she looked over at Warrick and questioned, "So…you're not going?"

He shuffled slightly, trying to think of an explanation.

But Sara was too good of a criminalist to not solve this easy puzzle.

She smiled at her longtime friend and realized his predicament.

"'Ric…I'll be fine…really…"

When he still hesitated, she turned fully to him and said, "I'll even let you leave the door open."

When Warrick failed to move, Sara put both hands on her hips and said, "And Hodges is in the lab right down the hall."

When his stance didn't change, Sara moved menacingly towards him and shook a gloved finger at him, "And there'll be hell to pay if you don't start remembering you're a CSI and not a _babysitter_!"

Warrick had to smile. The old Sara was definitely making a comeback.

And he had missed her very much.

Placing his hands up in surrender, Warrick started backing up towards the door as Sara tried in vain to stifle her trademark smirk.

_Man, I have missed that look,_ Warrick thought.

Turning serious suddenly, he paused at the doorway and spoke softly.

"Five minutes, Sara…and don't answer your phone if you're alone," he admonished to which Sara quietly nodded.

With one more smile, he set off at a slightly quicker pace than normal towards the lab.

Alone.

After weeks and weeks, Sara found herself finally alone.

Once again, panic began to set in as thoughts of the last time she was alone in the lab threatened to cause the bile to rise up in her throat.

Instinctively, her hand reached out to the spot where her child rested quietly.

A realization made a small smile creep over her face.

_But I'm not _alone_…_

Images of her conversation with Nick flooded her mind, and a calm settled over her again.

She wasn't alone.

Nick had promised to look out for them both, and he had promised her a happily ever after.

With calm hands, Sara turned towards the evidence and as she worked she found herself returning to the old habit of humming and singing softly.

At that moment, Gil was moving down the hallway, peaking into lab windows on the way in search of a glimpse of Sara.

Seeing her alone as he approached her workstation, his temper immediately flared as he cursed Warrick for leaving her alone.

But his steps stilled a few paces from her doorway as Gil could hear the soft refrains of one of Sara's favorite tunes.

It felt like years since he had heard her lilting refrains echoing softly in the lab.

He secretly used to observe her for a few moments every shift, just standing there watching her be truly happy in her work.

Despite the concern over her working alone, Gil found himself smiling at the expert approach she employed in methodically sorting through evidence.

Pride swelled in his heart, along with the overwhelming desire to take her in his arms and share the news of his meeting with the Sheriff.

Tapping the file he carried with his fingers, he decided to keep his plan intact. He would tell her all about it…when the time was right.

His smile broadened as he moved to stand in the doorway before masking his face in true supervisor fashion and saying aloud, "A little more attention to your work, missy, and a little less time entertaining the lab."

Sara froze, afraid to look at him. She spoke softly, "Warrick just stepped out to the morgue. He-He's on his way back right now."

Getting angry with herself for feeling "caught", she whipped around as she spoke a bit too loudly, "And I don't need a babysitter. I'm _fine_."

Gil was at her side in a heartbeat, and Sara braced herself for yet another lecture.

Instead, she felt his arms snake around her, pulling her tightly towards him.

"Yes…yes, you are sweetheart."

The uncharacteristic display lasted only a few seconds, but the results would last much longer.

Taking a step backwards, Sara looked up at this man whom she loved and choked, "I really am, huh?"

A tear glistened, but she gulped and said, "Now, better let me get back to work. My boss is a bit cranky when it comes to the nose to the grindstone stuff."

Gil couldn't help but laugh as he turned to move away, turning back suddenly to speak.

Sara cut off his attempt by raising her hand and sweetly saying, "I will be very careful. Buy you a cup of coffee in an hour or so?"

With that, Gil nodded and went off to check on Hodge's test results, in total awe of the feeling of normalcy that enveloped him.

But that would soon change after his meeting with Brass…

Returning to his office, he made several phone calls.

First to Brass, making arrangements to see him right before shift ended.

Next to his lawyer, making an appointment to see him tomorrow afternoon.

The final call had Gil a bit on edge, wondering about the reception his idea was going to receive.

Signing off on some paperwork, Gil realized it was 2 a.m., the time Logan had indicated by email would be a good time for them to speak.

The phone rang once and when Logan picked up immediately, Gil realized he was just anxious to hear about Sara.

"Gil…everything okay with Sara? And the baby?" the fatherly concern rang out.

Gil smiled and answered all his questions before getting to the heart of this discussion.

The two men talked about many things that had happened while he and Sara had been guests at the ranch.

Gil spoke of wanting to make their wedding day special, and not wanting to delay voicing his requests for another moment, he took a breath and forged ahead.

"So, Logan, I thought that Sara's big day would be perfect if you would agree to perform the ceremony."

There was a hush on the other end of the receiver, and Gil cursed himself for not doing this face to face. He was much better at judging a person's response if he could look into his eyes.

After a moment, "Thank you, Gil. You will never fully understand how much I am honored by that request. It would be my honor to marry you."

Gil smiled, happy at the news. He braced himself for the next part, but forged ahead quickly.

"Also, and I have given this a lot of thought, I would like it if you and Lillian would allow us to be married on the ranch…outside the cabin…by the pond…you know how Sara loved that little field of daisies…"

Again, silence ensued.

The previous night, Gil had remembered their happy times at the cabin…

-the king-sized blanket with the picnic basket sprawled on the floor…

-standing by the horses, holding hands as they watched the animals sipping cooling drinks from the pond…

-Gil stuffing his saddlebag full of daisies to spread over Sara's bedcovers…

-watching the sunset through the windows as the fireplace glowed brighter in the shadows…

-making love by candlelight…

Gil was broken out of his reverie by Logan's emotional response.

"Gil…Lillian will be so happy…you know, we don't have to use the cabin site…we could do it here on the veranda, and the reception can be so lively with a band and catering and-"

"Logan!" Gil interrupted.

From the other end, a small chuckle.

"Guess a bit of Lillian had rubbed off on me after all these years," Logan spoke, glad Gil couldn't see the small blush rising in his cheeks.

"Listen, I have to go. Please talk with Lillian tomorrow. I want to be sure she's comfortable with this."

After a slight pause, "I just know it would mean a lot to Sara. She loves you deeply. You're- you're the only family she really has, you know?"

A knock on Gil's door prevented him from continuing.

Shielding the mouthpiece, "Enter!"

"Listen, I'm at work so we'll have to pick up this conversation tomorrow. Same time okay with you?" Gil finished speaking just as the door opened to find Sara standing there with a smile.

Motioning for her to enter, Gil heard Logan saying, "You know, that's not exactly true."

Brows knitted together, Gil simply asked, "Excuse me?"

Logan continued, "We're really not the only family Sara has. Not anymore. Right, Gil?" he spoke plainly, emphasizing that final word to make his point.

Watching Sara sit across from him with her adoring smile intact, Gil found himself smiling in response to Logan's message.

"Absolutely," was his only answer.

"I'll speak to Lillian. Talk to you tomorrow, Gil…and thank you…this means far more than you know," Logan's voice dropped off and the call ended.

Taking a breath, Sara spoke, "Ready for that break?"

Gil just sat there a moment, recalling all the times over the years that Sara had sat in that exact spot.

All those times, when all Gil wanted to do was cross the short distance between them and scoop her up in his arms.

All those times, when all Gil wanted to do was kiss that gorgeous smirk right off her face until her knees buckled.

All those times, when all Gil wanted to do was surrender to his feelings for this remarkable woman.

Without thought, Gil leaned forward and asked in earnest, "Sara? Would you like to have dinner with me?"

Confused at first, Sara let the silence hang between them.

Continuing to gaze into his eyes, however, a small smile formed and broadened until she was displaying that gap-toothed smile he adored so.

"Why yes, Dr. Grissom. Dinner would be nice. Your place, or mine?"

Standing slowly, Gil moved seductively towards his love.

"Let's go to my place, shall we? The view of the city lights is nicer there."

He continued to close the distance as Sara's forehead crinkled.

"Gil," she said seriously, not immediately understanding his point, "the city lights can only be seen from the bedroom side of the townhouse."

His silence caused understanding to form and a soft chuckle emanate from deep in her throat as he stood before her and held out his hand.

"Exactly," he voiced gruffly, and Sara felt her arousal begin as she placed her hand in his.

Pulling her effortlessly into his arms, Gil's next message was wordless but totally understood by a now panting Sara as she leaned back from his passionate kiss and gasped, "Oh, Gil…"


	78. Chapter 78

A/N: Your patience is appreciated in waiting for this update…it did run a bit shorter than the last, but my goal is to post again by midweek (as we brace again for another winter storm in the northeast)…your reviews were as terrific as you…and the reader support continues to be humbling…another loose end tied up in this chapter…a bit of angst, but remember that GSR will endure…hope this pleases…more as soon as possible… -Kathy

----------------

Almost jogging down the corridor from the morgue, Warrick tried to calm his concern over the additional time it had taken for Doc to give him the full report on the latest victim.

Now, as he tried to pace himself to get back to Sara, 'Ric overheard a snippet of conversation as he passed to lab techs at the water cooler.

"Sofia" and "Ecklie" were the only two words that he had clearly heard from their fast-paced dialogue.

Glancing over his shoulder at the two younger men, Warrick now almost double-timed his gait.

Could it true?

Was Sofia back?

Was Ecklie on the prowl again?

Either possibility did not sit well with Warrick, knowing that he had left Sara alone and defenseless.

Another time, using that term to describe Sara Sidle would make for a good laugh.

But since the memory of her last phone call in the lab was now burning through his being, all he wanted was to get back to the evidence lab to be sure Sara was alright.

Seeing the evidence spread out on the table without Sara examining it sent shock waves through his system.

Though the door was locked, Warrick dismissed the meaning of that discovery as he wheeled around and almost ran through the hallway, his head flipping right to left as he hoped to get a glimpse of that brunette.

Screeching to a halt at the break room door, his fist slammed the doorway as the empty room lay before him.

Just about to spin around, Grissom's voice rang out close to him, "Hey! What'd that door jamb ever do to you?"

His eyes closed as he expected to find an angry Grissom stalking towards him.

Instead, he found Grissom with his arm loosely around Sara's shoulder as his wide-eyed smirk almost screamed, "Gotcha!"

Although Gil intended to "have words" with Warrick, he was temporarily halted when the tall CSI crushed Sara to his chest as she was pulled out of Grissom's arms.

"Oh…thank god…thank god…" Warrick repeated softly as he held her, willing his heartbeat to return to normal.

"When I didn't find you…when I heard them talking…that she might be back…" he continued as he pulled Sara back to cup her face in his large hands.

Grissom immediately picked up on Warrick's words.

"Who? Who might be back?" Gil demanded.

Warrick only looked into his eyes in response.

He didn't want to discuss Sofia's possible involvement in front of Sara.

She looked confused and 'Ric allowed her to move back towards Grissom.

"I…nothing…listen, Griss…" he tried to stall for time but Gil was now holding Sara by the waist and was not going to be put off.

"If you know something, Warrick, tell me…_now_…" he demanded, but the CSI would not be moved.

"No man…you gotta talk to Brass…he's the one…" Warrick answered, looking at Sara as if to plead for some support.

Gil's pulse was starting to race, but Sara placed her hand on his forearm.

Her gaze seemed to calm him.

The next moment she found herself being handed over to Warrick.

Releasing her hands after placing them in the CSIs grip, Grissom's look brokered no argument.

"Stay _with_ her, Warrick, until I get back."

Before leaving he leaned over and kissed her temple.

Startled by his public display of affection, Sara smiled back and whispered, "I promise."

With one final glare at Warrick, Gil turned and strode quickly down to Brass' office.

--------

Meanwhile, Ecklie's lawyer had appeared in lockup and demanded a private space to talk to his client.

Fuming, Ecklie now stood and leaned across the short width of the oak table, his eyes wild with anger.

"Get me the hell out of here!" he demanded, and for the first time over the many years that he had represented this man on official case reviews, the lawyer was getting bad vibes from his client.

"Conrad-" he started, but the man would not be calmed.

"I have just spent one hour – ONE HOUR – in that lockup…I'm not going to last 71 more!"

Menacingly, Ecklie eyed his lawyer and continued, "Either I get out of here, or I won't be responsible for my actions when I _do_!"

Sighing, his lawyer leafed through the paperwork he had collected concerning the charges against his client.

"Alright, Conrad. I don't think a judge will consider you a flight risk, despite _these_-" he paused, tapping on the photocopies of the multiple flight vouchers that had been placed in evidence against him.

"Call Evinrude. I served on a review board for him last year. If you can get a hearing date from anyone, you can get it from him," Ecklie spoke quietly, his gaze shifting wildly as he was becoming more and more unglued.

His lawyer placed his hand on Ecklie's wrist, and could almost feel his pulse pounding even from that distance.

"Sit down, Conrad…please," he urged his client who resisted.

Resuming his pacing along the wall, he halted only when there was a sharp rap on the door and a guard entered, stating time was up and Ecklie was to return to the cell.

"CALL HIM!" Ecklie demanded as the guard led him out of the room, resisting Conrad's attempts to put some distance between him and the guard.

The lawyer sighed, gathered his papers, and moved towards the door. Safely out of the confinement area, he whipped open his cell phone and ran through his address book.

Once outside, he moved to the quiet area on the side of the building as he keyed in the number.

After a second, he heard the secretary's greeting, "Judge Evinrude's office. May I help you?"

----------

Knowing Sara was safely in Warrick's care, Gil had reached Brass' office and entered without formality.

"Tell me what the hell is going on, Jim!"

Sighing, Brass swiveled away from the window where he had been looking while speaking on the phone.

"Listen. I have to call you back." Without ceremony, he hung up the receiver and motioned for Gil to sit.

Closing the door, Grissom sat across from Brass while trying to calm his frazzled nerves.

"Are you calm?" Brass asked.

Irritated, Gil answered, "Hardly. And I don't _expect_ to be calm until I find out what the hell is going on! TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW!"

Closing his eyes slowly, Brass breathed in and decided to just go for it.

He leaned forward and looked into Gil's eyes decisively.

"You say nothing until I finish. Then you DO nothing, capishe?"

Gil went to respond, only to have his protest met by Brass' raised eyebrow.

Resigned, Grissom's hands flew up defensively and he settled back into the captain's chair.

Brass took a moment to organize the information he thought was most pertinent for Grissom to know.

He related the facts as he knew them:

_He had gone to the Sheriff with suspicions that Sofia had broken into an evidence file on a cold case and had possibly taken some items for her personal use._

_The Sheriff had sent him on a clandestine mission to collect evidence to exonerate or convict her of the possibility of this crime._

_Brass had taken Warrick into his confidence and both men had been keeping close to Sofia._

_Ecklie had removed Sofia from their "protective custody" by arranging multiple venues of escape for her._

_She had contacted him once since she had disappeared, but no further communication had been forthcoming._

_As she was now days overdue for a return to work, Ecklie was now a suspect in Sofia's disappearance._

Sensing that Brass had not confided everything, Gil pressed him, "How does this affect Sara?"

Knowing that he hadn't made the connection, Brass worried about Gil's reaction when the evidence revealed what even Jim didn't want to dwell on.

On a sigh, he leaned forward, "It's possible…that Sofia had something to do with those phone calls-"

Without giving him time to finish, Gil was on his feet.

He was bombarded by images of Sara leaning against him as she slid to the floor, him screaming her name, calling 911, the paramedics, his feeling of helplessness…

Moving towards the door, luckily Jim had anticipated and blocked his path.

"_That_ is not going to help Sara," Brass said, relieved that the words had some effect.

"Listen, Gil, we're on this. Ecklie's on ice for 72 hours, no one's heard from Sofia…for now, Sara's safe," he continued, but Gil's emotions were volatile.

"Until _when_, Jim? Until they decide the phone calls aren't enough? _Then_ what?"

He paced in agitation. Brass stared worriedly.

"I want to see him."

Brass shivered at the coolness of Gil's tone.

"Woah, woah, cowboy. No can do," Jim stopped in front of Gil, placing his hand softly on his friend's sternum.

"Stay away from Ecklie, Gil. Sara doesn't need to be worrying about you now. Just let me handle this. I promise you'll know what I know."

Stepping back, Brass waited to see what type of intervention his friend's reaction was going to warrant next.

Surprised, Gil sat back down, placing his head in his hands.

Satisfied for now, Brass took up his own seat and waited for Gil to speak.

"I just want her to be safe, Jim."

Looking up into his friend's eyes, Brass again saw the hopelessness shining there.

"You should have seen her today, Jim. She was singing. She was smiling. She – she was _happy_."

He head hung a bit as he continued.

"I just want her to be happy…I _need_ **them** to be happy."

"And you're worried…" Brass led him on.

"And I'm worried that she will encounter Sofia, and then…then she is going to go through that depression all over again. Hasn't she been through enough?"

Rising, Gil continued, "When do _we_ finally have time to be happy? Happy _together_?"

Moving towards the windows, Grissom looked out as he leaned against frosted panes, his fist resting against his lips.

_I need to get her away from here…_

The upward movement of his arm jostled the notepad resting in the inner pocket of his lab jacket.

This reminded him of the two meetings, with the Sheriff and with Logan, that he had already held this shift. He needed to get back to finish this shift, to not be late for his final meeting this morning.

"I've got to go," he said suddenly, anxious to check on Sara.

"Gil," Brass stood, but his friend was already at the door, "let me handle this. Don't do anything stupid."

Nodding, Grissom left without a word leaving Brass to worriedly return to his seat.

------------

The rest of the shift was uneventful and soon it was time to clock out.

Gil had kept Sara on "a short leash" (as she had teased him) throughout the shift, and was inwardly happy to be leaving the lab, ushering her tired form into the sunlight.

"Home, dear?" he asked sweetly as he assisted her into the Denali.

"Sounds great," Sara replied as Gil shut the door.

Climbing in behind the wheel, Gil was so focused on pulling out of the lot and steering onto the road, it wasn't until he brought the vehicle to a stop that he looked over at Sara.

He smiled and felt a bit deeper in love with the picture before him of his love leaning back onto the padded leather, already fast asleep, her hair spilling softly over her eyes, her hands resting protectively over the slightly protruding bump that seemed to appear overnight.

Pulling out slowly, Gil never drove as expertly as he did tonight, realizing he was guarding such precious cargo.

Once home, she slipped easily into his arms and soon he was removing her shoes and jeans and propping her up on one arm as he removed her work shirt.

Pulling back the covers, he watched her a moment as she lay still, never have wakened, now clad only in her undergarments.

"I love you, Sara, so much" he whispered, leaning forward to place a soft kiss on her abdomen and then another on her forehead before covering her with the blankets and tiptoeing out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Instead of moving to rest himself, Gil went into the kitchen and called Monica.

Thanking her for being able to come over on such short notice, Gil used the guest bathroom to shower and dress for his meeting at the courthouse in an hour…

---------

The first case on the Judge Evinrude's docket for the early court hours concerned Conrad Ecklie.

Arguing against the flimsy circumstantial evidence, and the citing the illustrious career in working for the crime lab, his lawyer was making a rather convincing case for his immediate release on his own recognizance.

As his lawyer spoke, Ecklie was externally unmoved, but internally a tempest was brewing out of control.

_That little bitch._

_Every time I have a problem, it always seems to center around Sidle._

_And Grissom._

_Always playing the over-protective guardian, always making my life hell because of that little whore._

_Well he won't get away with it this time._

_The lies she must have told him, and Brass, to get me in trouble, to get Sofia in trouble…_

_No more…_

_When I get out of here, I'm going to take care of Grissom and Sidle once and for all…_

So deep in his psychosis was Ecklie that his lawyer had to nudge him to bring him back into the moment.

"Conrad, the judge is speaking to you," he muttered hastily, causing Ecklie to shrug his shoulders and smile softly at the judge.

"I'm sorry, your honor. It's been quite a night being locked up," Conrad tried to sound sincere.

"I'm sure," the judge agreed as he stared at the defendant for a long moment before reaching his decision.

Duly noting the protest of the D.A., the judge revoked the order for Ecklie's confinement, reminding him not to leave town but that otherwise he was free to return to work until more evidence was procured to present a new case in the future.

Conrad was giddy with relief. He ignored the overtures of his lawyer as he practically ran out of the courtroom.

Once inside the hallway with the flurry of courthouse personnel filing by in either direction, Ecklie moved towards the exit until his forward motion was suddenly halted by the entrance of Grissom into the main foyer.

Grissom hurried towards the elevators as he was already a tad late for the appointment with his lawyer on the seventh floor of the courthouse annex.

Focused on navigating the arriving workers who jammed the queque for the elevators, Gil was unaware of Ecklie's presence.

Unseen by his nemesis, Conrad now blocked out every person except Gil.

Ignoring the bumps and sneers of the people inconvenienced by his abrupt stop, Ecklie watched his prey move towards the elevators.

Another moment and Grissom would enter the elevator and disappear from view.

Conrad's blood pressure was reaching stroke proportions. His temperature was rising, and his breathing was short and rapid.

Almost on their own volition, his legs moved forward into a trot, increasing in speed until he was almost running down the corridor, knocking people off-balance and leaving a wake of angry passersby.

Reaching the security guard who had just placed his coffee mug to his lips, Ecklie's expertise served him well as his hand slid towards the officer's holster, unsnapping the safety as he pulled the firearm out of its home as he turned and yelled Grissom's name.

Hearing the call over the din of the morning rush, he reacted curiously as the elevator doors opened.

Gil had almost turned when he felt the first sting of a bullet as it grazed the lateral side of his left shoulder.

Before he had time to process what was happening, the din of screams and the closing door of the elevator before him was compounded by the shouts of officers and the screams of courthouse personnel behind him.

Falling to his knees, Gil felt a sharp pain sear through his upper back before the floor rose up to meet him.

His eyes winced as the pain threatened his consciousness.

It surprised him how suddenly calm he felt, realizing he had been shot but now feeling no real pain. In reality, there was no pain at all.

His eyes were closing as he watched the surreal drama unfolding before him.

From his vantage point on the floor, his eyes saw a pair of shoes stalking towards him only to be stalked themselves by several pairs of uniformed boots poised behind him.

Shouts were volleyed, but the stalked moved closer until finally…were they gunshots?

In his mind, he was suddenly looking down upon her sleeping form as he leaned forward to whisper in her ear, "I'll always love you, Sara."

As Gil's eyes closed to the quiet solitude of this thought, a thud caused them to reopen one final time.

The last thing Grissom's eyes focused on were the lifeless eyes of Conrad Ecklie…

------------

Monica walked into the darkened bedroom as she was concerned about Sara's restless sleep.

She could see her friend's brow furrowed, as her hands moved slightly as if to reach out.

Whimpering sounds caused Monica to move forward.

Just before her hands were to rest on Sara's shoulder in an attempt to awaken her from the nightmare, she heard Sara whisper, "Oh, Gil…"


	79. Chapter 79

A/N: These two overruled my original intent for this chapter…and as usual, they told their story in wonderful imagery…I smiled upon finishing as I realized we have turned the final corner towards the place we've waited many chapters to reach…I foresee just a few chapters remaining (although these two _have_ overruled me in the past)… : ) …your reactions and reader support have been so terrific…hope this pleases…more soon as possible… you people are terrific… -Kathy

--------

Gil found himself perched on a boulder that jutted out on the weathered path which was lined with foliage in every hue of vibrant green that must ever have existed.

His resting spot seemed created out of layers of slate which were eroded in such a fashion that his body molded easily into its furrows, his feet resting on the lowest level.

Moving just his gaze, the investigator took in his surroundings. He was sitting across from a fork in the road, unveiling two distinctly divergent paths.

To the right, there was revealed a short path with a wide bend in the road around which the sunlight seemed to brighten. Perhaps a meadow?

To the left, there was a longer, well-maintained, and perhaps better-traveled path whose equally wide bend seemed to indicate a denser tropical forestation. Perhaps a rainforest?

Grissom shook his head to clear his thoughts. His memory seemed muddled; his priority became simply trying to remember how he had gotten to this place.

Gil stared at the paths another moment, before becoming overwhelmed with the need to move forward.

Knowing he needed to choose a path, the years of processing evidence prevented him from succumbing to the desire to just move on just yet.

If only he could remember.

There was a draw towards a single, specific piece of information, the one thing that would make the right decision easier.

His conflict seemed so out of place in this tropical paradise. He was drawing a blank, but he was aware of one certainty:

he could not stay where he was indefinitely.

Suddenly, Gil was pulled out of his deliberation by the sense of being watched.

Raising his head quickly, he noticed a figure standing just outside the bend on his left.

The man's straw hat obscured his facial features, and Gil instinctively squinted despite the fact that he no longer seemed to need his corrective lenses.

The figure raised his hand in greeting, beckoning him onward.

A slight unease flashed through his being, as Gil felt the edge of the boulder as his feet slid down to the forest floor.

"Where am I?" he spoke in a conversational tone, almost surprised when the man answered despite their distance apart.

"Gil! I've been waiting for you!" the man spoke with a smile in his tone.

"Wh-who are you?" Grissom asked, a nagging inner voice stilling his steps as he merely turned slightly towards the man.

"There's not much time…the others are waiting!" was his only response.

Confused, Grissom crossed his arms and called out a bit more impatiently, "What others? Where are we?"

"They can't wait to see you again! C'mon, Gil!" the figure called again, inciting Grissom's naturally inquisitive nature.

"I-I-I don't know what to do…" Gil responded, waving his hand towards each fork in the road, "…about this…"

His eyes whipped around towards the meadow light. He found no compelling reason to choose one path over the other.

The path to the right seemed alluring, however, with its promise of all good things that living in the light can offer. Gil had spent so much of his life working in the dark (in terms of sky light, victims, and what to do about Sara).

Yet, he could not ignore the fact that here before him now there _was_ someone, whose presence felt vaguely familiar, offering him companionship on the journey down the path to the left.

Even if that choice seemed a bit more rugged, darker environment.

But Gil almost recalled enjoying some time in just such place.

Memories were trying to break free, but Grissom was feeling the pull to choose his path.

His feet were commanded to move forward as Gil turned towards the figure that seemed to have moved back further into the shadows, his presence even more obscured than before.

Taking a deep breath, Gil decided to make the decision and move to accept the man's company.

Besides, hadn't he once told Sara that he'd love to visit the rainforest one more time?

_Sara?_

As he was about to ponder the flashback of just who this Sara was and what kind of memories he was holding that brought her to mind so easily, the figure down the road began to sound impatient as he almost barked out,

"You know, Gil, by the time you figure it out, it really could be too late."

His whole body reacted to that statement.

Suddenly, memories of Sara flooded his mind bringing him to his knees.

_Sara laughing in the break room._

_Sara sitting across from him by candlelight._

_Sara smiling as he slipped a wedding band onto her finger._

_Sara sleeping in his arms on their honeymoon night._

_Sara leaning against him in their Jacuzzi tub as he ran a sponge enticingly over her freckle-splashed shoulders._

_Sara placing her hands lovingly over the place where their baby slept…_

"NO!" Gil forced out, crumpling his side against the rock, head bowed as his heart ached to hold his Sara close again.

"Gil!" the voice sounded, the gentleness replaced by a tone of forced cheerfulness with vague undertones of stress, "you can come with me…you can see Sara again…c'mon, Gil…she won't be long now."

Raising his head wearily, the message bypassed his brain and made a direct hit to his heart.

"Sara?" Gil asked weakly, dragging himself from the ground as he pulled wearily on the boulder, his mind on overload as the memories of the earlier drama began breaking through…

_He remembered calling his lawyer to introduce a codicil to his will._

_Years ago, when Sara had been in Vegas over a year and before their early friendship began to unravel, they both had agreed to become each other's power of attorney for medical decisions._

_The decision was made due to the fact that neither had living family members, with Sara having concealed the truth of her family situation at that time._

_Unbeknownst to Sara, Gil had taken that decision one step further, and had made her sole beneficiary in his will with rights of survivorship to his numerous investments and life insurance._

_Even though he told himself he could never have her, he loved her enough to want to secure her future if he wouldn't be around to watch out for her._

_Things had changed so rapidly this year. Their marriage had happened so quickly upon their return to Vegas, followed by her kidnapping, that he hadn't had time to update his will with her name change._

_Now that she was pregnant, Gil wanted to add a provision whereby Sara's children would by named beneficiaries in the event of her untimely death._

_His lawyer had demurred about the wording of "Sara's children", but Gil was firm that in the event of his passing any children Sara should have in the future, even if involved in another relationship, would benefit from an inheritance as well._

_The lawyer's eyebrows raised, and Gil could hear the confusion in his tone._

"_Listen, Alex," Gil paused and sighed, wondering if he could put his feelings into words._

"_She's my life…and _any_ life she brings into this world will be a part of her…and essentially, then, a part of my life…"_

_When it was clear that he had only served to confuse the poor man more, Gil laughed softly and continued._

"_Alex…it's just really what I want to do…"_

_Knowing that when his trusted friend and client had made up his mind there would be no changing it, Alex agreed to draw up the papers personally for Gil's signature._

Like a slide show intensely barraging his senses, Gil now was bombarded with the memories of his final moments…

_The shouts about the early morning courthouse din…_

_The sight of an out-of-control Ecklie aiming a firearm in his direction…_

_The feel of the first bullet as it impacted with his upper arm…_

_The smell of gun shot residue as his body was rudely whipped around defensively towards his attacker…_

_The taste of blood in his mouth as his head hit the floor, splitting his lip as it came in sharp contact with the cool, polished tiles..._

_The heart-wrenching thoughts that he could not die here, without having the chance to tell Sara how he loved her one more time…_

He was shaken out of his memories by the figure calling to him, having back up even more into the shadows as to be almost invisible.

"Gil…don't be left there all alone…come with me…_now!_" the voice was calling, his tone morphing swiftly from encouragement to insistence to demanding."

"_Who in hell do you think you are, using that tone with me?"_ Gil reacted loudly, to be brought out of his angry thoughts by the sound of a small giggle from somewhere behind him.

Grissom whipped his head around, craning his neck to look down the brightly lit path but failing to see anyone.

Returning his gaze to the left, the path looked slightly darker – and totally empty.

Sighing, Gil turned his attention to the path on the right, his curiosity piqued.

_It was not my imagination…_

Working up a bit of courage, Gil moved forward tentatively and asked aloud, "Please…show yourself."

After a minute of silence, "Please…I know you're there."

Another moment passed without response.

Gil backed up dejectedly, wondering what to do next.

Leaning against the boulder and placing his head in his hands, he all but whispered, "Please…help me."

At that, his head jerked upwards a bit at the sound of a sweet little giggle coming from his right side.

Sitting up quickly, he almost fell off the boulder at the sight of two of the cutest little feet just swinging happily from their perch next to him.

Jumping off the boulder, Gil was treated to a happy little smile from the little girl whose brown curls danced as her body swayed in happy little motions.

"Hi," Gil said, after collecting himself.

"Hiya," answered the soft angelic little voice.

Readying herself to jump down from her seat on the high boulder, Gil instinctively reached out and caught the little cherub just as she released her hold on her position.

"Easy, easy," Grissom said worriedly, as he scooped the little darling into his secure embrace.

Giggling again, the little girl raised her arms to hug him securely around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug.

At that moment, Grissom felt loved.

A hug was just what he needed right now, and he smiled despite himself.

She pulled back and placed two chunky little hands on either side of his face and planted a soft kiss on his cheek.

"I wuv you," she smiled, and Gil lost his heart completely.

Smiling back, he set her back on top of the bolder, her princess length puffy skirt blowing softly in the breeze.

Brown eyes looked into blue, and for a moment Gil enjoyed a memory of looking into Sara's eyes, seeing her great love for him reflected there.

"You aww funny," she said on a giggle, and Gil's brow furrowed in confusion.

"I am?" he inquired, and when she nodded vigorously, her curls shook wildly.

Shaking his head in amusement, he reached over and tucked an errant curl behind her ear, recalling all the times in their early years that he had longed to reach out and tuck in Sara's miscreant curl.

"You zay funny tings," she continued, proceeding to hum happily as she stood and twirled, watching her long, fluffy skirt twirl like a ballerina's.

Gil smiled, remembering all the times he had heard Sara humming happily to herself as she worked long hours laboring over evidence.

"Like what?" he countered, holding her right hand over her head so he could control her trajectory as she continued to spin happily.

"Like "who in _hell_ does he think he is?'" came a familiar voice from behind, causing Gil to whip around in surprise.

Advancing down the well lit path, the Texan smiled at Grissom but then turned an exasperated look at Gil's visitor.

Reaching their position swiftly, Nick tried to look stern. Failing miserably, he smiled his broad smile as brown eyes met brown.

"And _what_ is the meaning of making me look all over for you, young lady?" Nick said as he tickled her tummy, causing a squeal of happiness.

Scooping the little darling from her perch, Nick kissed her forehead as she lazily snuggled into the niche between his neck and shoulder.

Grissom sighed as he ached to hold Sara on his lap and feel her assume the same stance.

She once told him she felt safe and loved whenever she cuddled into him there.

Looking towards the darkened road to the left, Nick frowned.

Jutting out his chin, Nick looked at Grissom and said, "You don't belong there."

His analytical mind was screaming for information causing Gil to look directly into Nick's eyes and demand, "Who was that? Why was he calling me? Where are we? And who is this?"

Nick rubbed the little darling's back as she began to giggle again. She looked at Gil and then turned to Nick and said, "He zays funny tings."

Both men smiled as Nick shushed her, turning his full attention to Gil.

"You aren't supposed to be here."

Gil looked around, a painful realization forming in the back of his mind.

With fearful eyes, Gil gulped and pointed, asking without really wanting to know, "Who was that?"

Without flinching, Nick replied simply, "Ecklie."

Eyes widened, Gil asked again, "And where does-"

He was cut off by Nick overtalking him as he raised his hand to state, "Somewhere you don't deserve to be."

"Come on, pumpkin," Nick said quietly, moving away from Gil only to have two chubby arms reach out to him.

Again reacting instinctively, Gil gathered the child in his arms and hugged her in a soothing motion.

Again, two brown eyes now looked into his with a smile followed by two chunky hands on either side of his face.

A slight peck on the cheek and then, "I wuv you."

Before he could respond, Nick reclaimed her sweet little form and tickled her slightly as he moved them down the right path.

Halfway down the narrowing road, Nick turned to see Grissom just watching them, mesmerized by the little eyes that continued to smile towards him over Nick's shoulder.

"Griss…go back…you can't be here...not for a long time…"

Gil panicked. "How? Nick! How?"

But Nick had backed up almost reaching the bend. His final words were, "Go back…Grissom…go back…"

Gil blinked hard, shocked to find his body filling with painful sensations.

"Go back, Grissom…it isn't your time…"

His vision was blurring, greens were melting together, the light was fading before his eyes as he watched Nick almost disappear from view.

His final clear vision was of a chubby hand blowing a kiss and calling, "I wuv you, Daddy…"

The next moment, Gil's body was flushed with searing pain.

Every nerve ending in his body was on fire.

The sensation of pools of moisture matting his shirt to his chest was contradicted by the arid coolness of the tiles around him.

Moaning in agony, the first clear words that cut through the cacophony of chaos around him was, "We've got a heartbeat!"

"How long was he flatlined?" asked a familiar voice, worry and relief intermingled in his tone.

"His heart stopped right as I attached him to the portable monitor, so I'd say less than a minute. His beat is stronger now, I think he's ready for transport."

_Less than a minute?_

_It seemed like I was there forever…it all seemed so timeless…so beautiful…_

_Nick seemed so happy…_

_Said it wasn't my time…for a long time…_

_She called me "daddy"…_

_I need to know what happened to me!_

_I need…Sara…_

"Sara," Gil's mouth continued to move, the paramedic glancing over his shoulder at a worried Brass who had just overseen the white sheet being pulled over Ecklie's lifeless body.

"Detective," he called and Brass raced the few paces towards him.

"He's calling for someone," the EMT said as Gil moaned and called for her again.

Sighing, Brass' face was grim as he spoke. "I'll take care of it. Where are you taking him?"

"Desert Palms."

"Fine. I'll collect his…family…and meet you there."

The stretcher moved one pace ahead before Jim's hand pulled back on the paramedic's arm.

"And you tell dispatch to radio me if there is any change…immediately!"

With a nod, the wheeled stretcher moved swiftly towards the waiting ambulance.

Standing until the bay doors closed and the sirens signaled their departure, Brass exhaled an exaggerated breath before pulling out his cell phone.

Staring at the offending object, he shut it loudly and almost ran to his cruiser.

This was one message that would need to be delivered in person…

-----------

Silently thanking the heavens that Monica had been with Sara when he had to break the news, Brass clicked on the lights and floored the pedal as he sped away towards the hospital.

Glancing in the rearview mirror, the sight that greeting him tore at his heart.

Monica was seated next to Sara, who had said nothing after hearing his terse words relating the situation as she slumped onto the couch and hugged herself tightly while asking, "Is he dead?"

Knowing that her critical mind would need details to process, Jim inhaled and told her of the placement and severity of the wounds, the fact that he had coded for almost a full minute, and that they had a strong heartbeat when they whisked him off to the trauma center.

Now, tears fell silently past closed eyelids as Sara leaned back against the headrest with hands splayed protectively over her child, praying to the heavens that Gil would not be taken from her before they would have their chance at happiness.

The memory of Nick's promise was all that kept her from drowning in despair.

As they reached the hospital, Sara's door was opened before the cruiser came to a complete stop.

She raced towards the door running directly towards the ER.

Seeing the anxiety in this woman's face, a kindly nurse came around from the admissions desk and ushered Sara into a family conference room.

"Sit here, dear, and try not to worry. I'll see what I can find out. Is anyone here with you?" the ER triage nurse asked sympathetically.

Just then, a small commotion near her desk alerted her that the persons in question had arrived.

Smiling, she spoke softly as she patted Sara's hand, "I'll send them in."

In the interim before Monica and Jim would join her around this conference table, Sara closed her eyes and whispered loving thoughts into the cosmos to the man who was her life, ending her declarations as her fears reached the surface and she choked out, "Oh, Gil…"


	80. Chapter 80

A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting, your patience has been appreciated…consider this a transitional chapter…we are moving close to the end of this tale…thanks for your comments and for all the reader support of this story…you are all so terrific!…more as soon as possible…-Kathy

----------

Twin sounds that were at once disjointed, yet in sync.

Steady beeping vs. racing tones.

One in solid, steady rhythm, another pulsing, acting almost in joy of life.

His eyelids fluttered.

His mind registered images, but he was far from making sense of them.

Monitors.

IV drips and opaque tubing everywhere.

White sheets drawn up to his chest.

The right side of his hospital bed raised with the nurses' call button hanging handily within reach.

The left side was lowered, butting against…another bed?

Gil forced his head to turn, and the painful motion caused him to pause and try to make sense of what his eyes viewed.

Sara.

Sara asleep next to him.

Sara's hand reaching towards him with open palm.

Sara resting with a monitor strap across her abdomen.

The baby?

_SARA!_

The fog rapidly clearing, Gil welcomed the pain that the forcing him awake.

"Relax, Gil. Sara's fine."

Gil turned a bit too swiftly towards his right, causing him to wince in pain.

Daniel stood over him now, adjusting the IV drip and securing a new tube to the lead line from a new machine the doctor was moving towards Gil's side.

Dry-mouthed, Gil found difficulty voicing his concerns, but his worry concerning Sara and their child forced him to continue.

"Sara…hurt?" was all he could muster, looking hopefully towards Daniel to understand his need for information.

Glancing in her direction, the doctor failed to keep the mirth from his eyes.

"You shoulda seen the other guy!" he answered with the slightest chuckle.

Confused, Gil closed his eyes and took a deep, painful breath.

"Easy, Gil," Daniel answered soothingly, placing a small button device in his hand.

"Do you remember what happened to you, Gil?" the doctor asked professionally, releasing his patient's hand and retrieving his chart before seating himself next to the bed.

After a thoughtful pause, Gil closed his eyes and nodded ever so slightly.

After another pause, "Ecklie?" he asked weakly.

When no response was forthcoming, Gil's eyes locked onto Daniel's silent stare.

Worry immediately claimed his internal calm, turning to the bed next to him.

"No, Gil, Sara wasn't anywhere near the courthouse," Daniel tried to reassure him, his solid grasp of the bandaged forearm causing Gil to turn towards him.

Smiling, the doctor leaned back to reassure Gil.

"No, Gil…Sara actually had her own excitement yesterday afternoon…"

Yesterday?

"How long?" Gil squeaked out, the weakness in his voice causing Daniel to reach for the water pitcher to aid in getting his friend a drink.

"How long have you been here? Well, you were brought by ambulance two days ago, rushed to surgery to remove two bullets from your shoulder and upper back, then taken to recovery where you remained until yesterday morning, when you were brought here."

Trying hard to follow Daniel's speech, clarity was returning slowly.

"Sara?" Gil asked, his voice a bit more intense, the need to find out the reason for her resting in a hospital bed consuming his foggy thoughts.

Another slight chuckle.

Gil tried to level Daniel with a gaze, but his eyes crossed slightly causing him to close his lids and will his body to cooperate.

Feeling pity on his friend, Daniel moved forward.

"Gil, I hooked you up to a morphine pump. I know how you hate feeling out of control, so I have ordered the pump for you to use as you need it."

Gil looked up gratefully, sliding his grip from the device.

Daniel replaced it in his patient's hand.

"Use it when you need it, Gil; ultimately, you'll need less," he encouraged.

Sighing, Gil pressed the button once, causing the machine to release a small measured dose.

Relief flooded his painful areas, and involuntarily he leaned back against his pillow feeling almost instantly better.

"Good, good," Daniel spoke and gave his patient a smile.

"Sara," Gil asked again, his mind a bit less focused as the full effect of the medication was felt.

Daniel smiled.

"I could come back later," he asked, but Gil would not be put off.

"Sara," Gil said again.

Settling himself in for the storytelling, Daniel began.

"While you were in surgery, Sara sat in the waiting room with Monica and Jim. No one seemed capable of reaching her, you know how she shuts herself off from everyone when she's dealing with the incomprehensible," the doctor began as he glanced over at Sara in peaceful slumber.

"When you were moved into recovery, she insisted on sitting by your bedside – which of course is against usual hospital policy," he continued, failing at hiding the small smirk that resided on his lips.

Gil listened intently as the story continued.

"Monica had left to return home to take care of her child, and Jim promised to stay with her. Except –" he paused, wondering how Gil was going to comprehend the rest of the story.

"Except-" Gil repeated weakly, needing to know more.

Sighing, Daniel continued.

"Except, there was an "all hands" call for a major collision on the interstate, and try as he might, Jim had to report. He called to inform me of what was happening, and I had my service inform him that I would be down to see Sara as soon as I was out of surgery."

Nodding, Gil continued to listen as Daniel tried to keep to the details.

"My service just acquired a new resident, a Dr. Fellows. Fresh out of med school, and, well, let's just say that on our first rounds together, I suggested he work on his "bedside manner", if you get my drift."

Gil stared at Sara, trying to figure out how the story ended with her in bed besides him.

"He was there retrieving messages from the service as he finished with a patient about an hour later. Dr. Fellows took it upon himself to see what Sara's problem was. Without consulting me first, you need to know."

Gil was putting the players in order, not liking where this story was heading.

"From what Sara told me later, sparks flew between them from his brusque introduction. When he dismissed her frantic concerns about you and her adamant desire to sit with you in the Recovery Room, and suggested she just "get along home, honey", that's when Sara lost it."

Daniel looked at Gil to make sure he was still following the story.

Satisfied, the story continued.

"Finishing her verbal tirade with some very colorful suggestions as to where he could put his head, Sara stomped off towards the Recovery Room. And that's when things really started to go downhill."

Daniel smiled despite himself, glancing at Sara still peacefully resting.

Gil's face,however, was anything but peaceful.

"Gil…relax…she's fine…now…"Daniel spoke, the last word coming out as a chuckle.

Leaning forward, the doctor decided just to spill out the events without interruption.

"Fellows grabbed Sara by the upper arm, all the while yelling that if she didn't calm down and get back into the waiting area that he would call security.

That's when she wheeled around and yelled at him to get his grimy hands off of her.

She turned and started off towards recovery again, and again an angry Fellows stalked her and pushed her up against the wall, refusing to allow her to "talk like that to _him_".

Furious, Sara reminded him that she was trained in "weaponless defense" and that if he valued his manhood he would get away from her and stay there.

Fellows countered that if she didn't calm down, he would call security and have her straightjacketed and put into the psych ward for observation.

That was enough for Sara. The next thing the man knew, he was felled by a knee to the groin and his hand twisted upwards and back towards his elbow.

Screaming in pain, apparently the man could endure his patients'suffering more than his own, he clicked his pager and called security while Sara made her way towards recovery as she flipped open her phone and dialed Brass.

Jim had just finished making sure there was enough coverage and had secured the scene, intent on getting back to Sara. He was only a few blocks away when he heard Sara's voice trembling over the phone.

His heart racing, worried something had happened to you, he was at once relieved that you were alright and infuriated that Sara had been accosted by some doctor.

Jim was just about ready to speak when he heard hospital security rushing up behind her and an anguished cry to stop her in the background.

Sara had dropped the phone, disconnecting from Brass who immediately called in a uniformed unit to respond to a disturbance on the recovery floor of Desert Palms.

When he arrived on the scene, the uniforms were already there squaring off with hospital security as they stood over Sara who had slid herself to the floor and was grasping her abdomen.

By this time, Brass had reached his tolerance level and he silenced the frey with a hearty bellow.

The guards and officers stopped, but Dr. Fellows, still nursing his injured hand, moved menacingly towards Sara.

Before he could speak, Brass had whipped out his handcuffs and had the doctor cuffed and forced against the wall.

Everyone was silent for a moment, waiting to see where this confrontation would proceed next.

That's when Sara issued a small whimper, hugging her abdomen a bit tighter."

At this, Gil's eyebrow raised worriedly until Daniel's hand patted his friend's forearm reassuringly.

"It turned out to be just some mild stress-related contractions, Gil. But Sara _was _hurting, and Brass was worried about her losing the baby.

He hurtled the handcuffed doctor towards the uniforms, barked at security to get a gurney or wind up like the doc, and next thing I know I am standing over your bedside in recovery as an OR nurse is calling me as Brass is racing Sara's gurney towards me.

Sara was worried about her baby, but then she saw your almost lifeless form and that's when she began to forget about her pain and started firing off quesitons about your recovery.

I examined her quickly, taking her vitals and deciding she was having a slight panic attack, inducing the mild contactions.

I ordered something to calm her that wouldn't hurt the baby, and proceeded to hook her up to a monitor for our peace of mind.

Despite the medication, Sara continued to toss and turn, and Brass was worried about her so when I left to change out of my scrubs he pushed your two gurneys together and allowed Sara to hold your hand.

By the time I returned to check on her, she was asleep and her vitals were better.

We allowed her to rest next to you until you were moved into this private room yesterday. When I mentioned we were moving you, Sara's vitals began to show that her anxiety was returning and so I allowed her to continue to rest next to you."

Both men glanced over at her sleeping form.

"She's been resting on and off since yesterday, occasionally waking and taking your hand for a while before nodding off."

Daniel looked over at Gil who was reaching towards Sara but finding movement painful.

The doctor stood and moved towards Sara, helping Gil to meet her hand.

The moment their fingers touched, Gil smiled. He closed his fingertips possessively over hers, and sighed.

Daniel checked on Sara's monitors, smiling that they were all in healthy range.

Looking down at the soft smile that dotted her face, Daniel spoke softly.

"When she was settled, I was going to remove the baby's heartbeat monitor. Sara decided against that. She said she wanted you to hear the baby, even if you were asleep. She wanted you to rest and get better, knowing that they needed you."

When Gil didn't respond he looked from the monitor to Gil and Sara's joined hands to Gil's face. His eyes were closed and a small, contented smile graced his lips.

Daniel smiled as well, shaking his head in remembering the long road these two had traveled since they had first been brought to this hospital after their accident.

Standing there recalling those details, a twinkle appeared in Daniel's eyes.

Glancing once more to find his patients still blissfully asleep, the doctor hurried towards his office.

He had a phone call to make….

--------

Logan informed Lillian about Daniel's phone call. After some discussion, Lillian had made Logan promise that he would go to them and plead for them to recuperate at the ranch.

Logan expressed his worry to Lillian about how Sara would feel staying in the house under these conditions, after everything that had transpired during her last stay. Although Gil had requested them to allow the wedding to happen at the cabin, Logan doubted he had enough time to discuss that plan with Sara before the shooting.

It was agreed that they would house Sara in the guest room next to Gil's former room, avoiding the side of the house where Nick's old room sat. Lillian was anxious to make things perfect this time for Sara.

Emma Anne was overjoyed at the news that Sara and Gil would be coming, anxious to wait on them hand and foot until they were well enough for the nuptials.

Phoning the Sheriff to arrange a flight to Vegas, Logan signed and sealed some papers into a large manila envelope. Leaving his office, he called for Jeremy to take the papers into town to his law clerk, who had been taken into the judge's confidence and was awaiting their delivery.

Handing over the papers, Jeremy asked, "So, these are important papers, right?"

Logan had a faraway look in his eyes as he answered, "Important, indeed…"

-----

Feeling a small weight against her fingers, Sara turned her head and just stared at the large fingers caressing her fingertips.

Her gaze traveled up his arm until she gasped lightly as two blue eyes stared back at her, almost unblinking.

A watery smile greeted him, as he responded merely by increasing the pressure on her fingertips.

With their baby's heartbeat surrounding them, Sara turned slightly to claim his hand lovingly inside both her hands as she whispered, "Oh, Gil…"


	81. Chapter 81

A/N: I apologize for the lengthy delay since the last chapter…Internet problems, family with flu, and long workweeks allowed me some fanfic _reading_ time only, and I am sorely behind in _that_ also…hope this chapter pleases…possibly only one or two chapters to go…thanks again and again for the continued reader support and especially reviewers support of this work of the heart…you remain terrific and I will be forever grateful for encouragement…more as soon as possible-Kathy

-------------------

Amid the hustle and bustle outside their hospital door, she slept fitfully.

Sara's dreams haunted her with the content of her deepest fears.

_Opening her eyes, she noticed immediately that her hospital bed had been pushed away from Gil's resting place._

_A nurse was just finishing the last flap of the bed sheet's hospital corners, her expert motions smoothing the crisp linens into place._

"_Where's Grissom?" Sara asked while bolting upright, not fully realizing her abdomen was no longer encumbered with the baby monitor._

_The nurse kept her back to her as she gathered the dirty linens._

"_He's gone."_

_Fear gripped Sara making it difficult to continue with the onslaught of questions that were screaming to be asked._

"_He's…"_

"Gone…"_the nurse responded curtly in a bit of a huff, annoyed that this silly woman couldn't grasp the simple meaning of the word._

"_Where is he…" Sara's voice trailed off, as her eyes scanned the immaculate bedspace that had been Grissom's area._

_The water pitcher and glass were in the trash, his nightstand void of the sterile bandages and skin tape that had sat at the ready for another wound examination, the IV poles were dismantled and disappeared from view._

"_He's gone," was all the R.N. would say before retreating through the door into the misty haze that would be the hospital corridor._

_Gone?_

_Grissom was _gone?

_In her dream, Sara tried to move but found herself suddenly immobile._

_Try as she might, her legs were unwilling to obey her commands, and as she started her internal struggle to follow the nurse and get some answers she found the numbness creeping upwards until even her abdomen felt the pressure holding her in place._

_There was discomfort now in her arms, but she welcomed it as a sign that perhaps she could still retain some semblance of movement._

_She continued the fight to find answers to what had happened to Gil, why he wasn't here with her, how she could ever raise this child herself…oh, lord…the baby!_

_Her arms tried to move towards her abdomen but her fingers could not seem to contact her body, as if the pressure was numbing the area…was the baby…gone?_

_Frantic now that she might have lost both Gil and her child on the same day, Sara's terror multiplied as she felt herself suddenly unable to move either arm. _

_Was she paralyzed?_

_She wished at that moment that soon her condition would make her lungs stop functioning and she could join Gil and her child. She didn't want to live without them._

_Tears flushed from her still closed eyelids, as the pain of her separation from those she loved was almost unbearable._

_The pressure on her arms increased, and somewhere she heard someone calling her name._

_Gil?_

_GIL?_

_Help me, Gil, please…_

_Gil, please…don't leave me…please…Gil…_

"Gil…please…" whispered Sara as a very concerned Daniel stood over her, stilling her flailing arms with his large hands gripping her elbows firmly.

"Sara…honey, wake up…Sara…"Daniel pleaded, unhappy with his inability to awaken his patient.

Sara's eyes suddenly flipped open, disorientation and terror written in her large brown orbs.

Daniel continued to talk soothingly to her, releasing her slowly and reaching over to grab a tissue to dry her waterlogged cheeks.

"It's okay, Sara…just a bad dream, honey…just relax…take a deep breath…"the doctor spoke on a relieved exhale.

He had remembered Gil and Monica speaking to him about Sara's night terrors, but seeing her live through one was an experience from which his heart was still reacting.

Free from his grip, Sara suddenly remembered that dream and her hands flew to her abdomen, clawing at the fetal monitor that was still attached to it, her breaths swift and shallow.

Seeing her distress, Daniel continued to talk soothingly as he held her hands and looked into her eyes.

"Baby's fine, Sara. Would you like me to remove the monitor for a while?"

Still unable to speak, Sara fell back exhausted onto her pillow and simply nodded, her breathing labored and her distress evident.

Happy that it took only a moment to free her from its confines, Sara's hands shot out to cover her baby bump, and suddenly was greeted with a slight movement under the area where her fingers lay.

Her eyes closed at the new sensation, and she wished Gil could experience it with her.

In an instant, her panic returned as her eyes shifted over to her bed and found the area in exactly the same situation as in her dream.

No IV poles, neat bedsheets, empty nightstand…no Grissom.

Intent on finding him, Sara bolted upright again only to flop back down as the dizziness returned.

Daniel pulled up a chair and grabbed Sara's hand, noting her pulse was racing.

"Calm down, Sara…sshhh…breathe in slowly…in and out…in and out…c'mon, Sara…calm down, honey…"

Her eyes closed against the vertigo, but Sara was insistent.

"Where's Gil?" she breathed out unevenly.

"He's gone-" Daniel began before Sara stopped listening and started to scramble out of bed.

_It isn't true…he's not dead!...he _can't_ be dead!..._

"No!" she was fighting with Daniel now, her eyes trying to focus as her anger kept her trained on her mission to find her missing love, "He's _not _dead!"

"Dead?" asked Daniel in confusion as from the sounds of movement at the door another familiar voice asked in concern, "Who? Who's dead?"

Both Sara and Daniel turned from their arm wrestling towards an anxious Grissom who was trying to make sense of the scene before him.

"Gil!" Sara's voice was no more than a whisper as she was sure her eyes had never seen a more wonderful sight.

"Daniel?" Gil asked in search of an explanation while never taking his eyes off his love.

Even as Gil took over wheeling the chair the few feet in their direction, his unbroken gaze was causing Sara to relax and return to a prone position as the doctor hastily fixed her covers and moved to allow Gil access.

"Just another nightmare, I think," Daniel answered, although he wasn't sure anyone was listening.

Grissom proved him wrong while clasping Sara's hand and raising it to his lips, meanwhile throwing an annoyed glance towards Daniel.

"There's no such thing as "just another" nightmare, Daniel."

The couple held hands and continued with their silent communication.

Daniel wanted to tell Gil he needed to return to bed and rest now that his followup scans were completed.

Daniel wanted to tell Gil to let Sara rest as her upset had caused a spike in blood pressure that was best served with sleep.

Instead, Daniel wisely told Gil he would be back after checking in on a patient, and left the room closing the door behind him, halting the lunch delivery person with an order to return in half an hour _with hot trays._

Once alone, Gil moved his left hand slowly until it rested on Sara's pillow just enough to gently stroke a few strands of hair.

"Tell me," he soothed, and while at first Sara had told herself she wanted to forget all about the horrible dream, once she began she found herself unable to stop.

She poured out her nightmare in vivid detail, causing Gil to wince several times at the hopelessness he heard in Sara's voice.

Taking a shaking breath, Sara finally finished retelling the events, finding herself suddenly releasing her emotions.

She cried while Gil held her hand, feeling impotent to do more as he was still chair bound.

He recited some Shakespeare from memory, soothing her with its melodic pentameter and romantic phrases as he resumed stroking her hair.

Seeing as she had nodded off with a slight smile on her face, Gil continued to hold her hand until he was aware of Daniel's return.

"Better?" the doctor asked cryptically.

"For now. She needs to get out of here. WE need to get out of here, Daniel."

Releasing her hand with a kiss, Gil placed her arm back on the bedding before wheeling around to face his friend and physician.

"How long until I can get her away from here?" Grissom asked with an unmistakably tired tone to his voice.

Daniel spoke as he moved forward, wheeling Gil back towards his own bed and clicking on the brakes before motioning for Gil to get back into bed.

The chair tipped slightly with the movement and made a sharp clanging sound as it regained contact with the floor.

Daniel's back was to Sara as he aided Gil's upper back onto his pillows before helping to adjust his top sheet and blanket over his legs.

"You _should _really stay a few more days…however…"

Gil noticed the smile in his eyes as the doctor continued.

"What would you say to monitored home care convalescence?"

Curious, Gil responded, "What did you have in mind? Because while she would insist, Daniel, I don't think that Sara could-"

Daniel interrupted with both hands raised in front of him.

"No, Gil. I , ah, took the liberty of talking to Logan."

Clearly having piqued his patient's interest, he continued.

"He and Lillian want you and Sara to recuperate at the ranch."

The silence that ensued confused Daniel for a moment.

Gil finally spoke, "We, uh, well, I hadn't had a chance to speak to Sara…but….uh…well, I _had_ asked Logan if he'd have any objections to Sara and I getting married at the ranch…only…uh…"

The doctor remained silent, wondering what the problem would be with combining their convalescence with their wedding plans.

Gil shifted slightly, wincing as he rubbed his wound a bit too harshly against his pillows.

"The…uh…problem is that I hadn't had time to ask Sara…and I don't know…how she feels about…about…sigh…you know, Daniel, the last time she was there things weren't very good for her…but that cabin was such a special spot for us…even so, I don't know if she would-"

"I'd love it."

Both men's heads whipped around towards a smiling Sara.

"Yes, Gil…the cabin _was_ our special place…and I'm sure Emma Anne and Jeremy would love to spoil you rotten just to help you heal quickly."

Gil loved the light that was shining in Sara's eyes.

"Let's do it," she added, to be sure he understood she meant what she said.

Tearing his eyes away from Sara, Gil smiled at Daniel.

"Guess you should go make some arrangements," Gil said happily when suddenly another surprised greeted all three at the door.

"Up for some company?" the Texan drawled as his face lit up upon seeing Sara.

"Dad!" she smiled as she held out her arms to claim him.

Gil and Daniel smiled at the reunion, Logan kissing Sara on the cheek and planting another on her forehead before sitting down on the edge of her bed.

"Well, I'll leave you three to sort out the details," Daniel smiled as he tapped the edge of Gil's bed before moving on to his rounds.

Gil waved goodbye and turned his head towards his happy Sara, unable to stop smiling at the happiness and love reflected towards him in her smiling eyes.

-------------

The days sped by and near the end of the week, discharge papers in hand, Gil moved slowly from the wheelchair and was mounting the plane to take them to the ranch.

Tired out a bit more than he would admit, Gil rested his head against the window and closed his eyes for just a moment.

The next thing he knew, the sky had darkened a bit as their late afternoon takeoff meant a night landing.

Sara was seated next to him, leaning against his arm which she had encased in a death grip.

He smiled and shook his head at this action, wondering where she thought he could possibly retreat to on an airplane.

His smiled dropped quickly, recalling her last nightmare in the hospital, and he leaned over to kiss the top of her head gently, the motion making him wince from his muscles' outrage at the movement.

"I love you, Sara," he whispered, now more fully awake.

"Well, welcome back, Gil," smiled Logan who had heard Gil whisper something to Sara.

"What's the time?" Gil inquired, and Logan checked his watch.

"Won't be long now. Only about another fifteen minutes or so. How's the pain?"

"Tolerable," Gil answered, forcing himself to keep the promise he made to Sara about not hiding his discomfort from her or the family.

"We'll get your meds out of the pack as soon as we land. Doctor's orders," the judge smiled, remembering the mini-volume of reminders Daniel had given him before agreeing to finally discharge his patients.

Feeling Sara stir next to him, Gil leaned over and planted another kiss on the top of her head.

"Sara? Honey? You doin' okay?"

Inhaling deeply as one who was just returning from a lovely dream, Sara with eyes still closed exhaled happily and murmured, "Fine. I'm fine."

Smirking as he did when he was annoyed, Gil responded pointedly, "Sa-ra…." as he remembered all the times she had used that cliché was she was obviously feeling just the opposite.

Her response was a full out Sidle smile.

Her eyes still closed, she answered, "I have YOU, and WE are on our way back to the scene of some of our happiest times together…I…am…MORE …than…FINE…"

Despite himself, he chuckled. "MORE than fine?"

Keeping him clutched tightly in her embrace, Sara peeked one eye open as she smiled up into his loving gaze.

"And you still want to marry me. Yes, I am MORE than FINE."

Ignoring the protests of his wounds, Gil leaned forward and planted a worthy kiss on her upturned lips before leaning back and whispering, "I love you, Sara."

Snuggling closer to him, tightening her grip on his arm, she uttered softly through her happiness, "Oh, Gil."


	82. Chapter 82

A/N: I apologize for the lengthy delay since the last chapter…life just seems to get in the way of having time to write…the next chapter will deal with the wedding arrangement day, followed by the chapter on the wedding, and then perhaps an epilogue…thanks for all who continue to support the story by reading or reviewing…I am grateful to all of you for being so terrific…hope this pleases…all mistakes are mine…more as soon as possible…-Kathy

-----------------

Emma Anne was in her element, happily serving up more steaming coffee and iced tea to the family as they gathered around the large table in the spacious ranch kitchen.

Cook had outdone himself, baking and preparing a banquet of appetizers that covered the varied palates of the family now gaily assembled around his table.

Jeremy smiled as he held the seat for Emma Anne before seating himself next to her. He couldn't help but reflect on the changes in the household since Sara and Gil had first visited them earlier that year.

Lillian was now a frequent visitor to the kitchen, and many nights Jeremy would be finishing up as Logan and Lillian would stroll in, hand-in-hand, and settle down for a hot chocolate and a chat around the cozy fireplace the judge insisted be kept lit after supper.

There were many nights when Lillian would insist that he and Emma Anne join them for a steamy mug, and a pattern of exchanging stories emerged which allowed the grieving parents an opportunity to hold onto fonder memories of happier days.

Lillian herself had changed the most, Jeremy mused as he watched her pick up the carafe and refill Emma Anne's mug. She had returned from Vegas and had thrown herself into her charity work, which had always been a focus for her.

But at home, she seemed to be searching for a new way to connect with these people who were her _de facto_ family.

Jeremy had to admire the way she had kept her grief to herself, expertly deflecting questions about Nick's death while graciously accepting memorial gifts in his memory for the new children's wing at the local medical center.

He knew her public façade was hiding the pain created by having to face her large contingent of social acquaintances.

Lillian had always been so proud of her family, and now she was having to deal publicly with the scrutiny of the gossips while she was dealing with having the lavish wedding cancelled while the guests were on the premises, the macabre events leading up to Nick's death, Sara's pregnancy and impending marriage to Grissom.

Yet, here she sat among those she would now call family, eyes sparkling as she spoke to the mother of her unborn grandchild. Jeremy could not help but wonder what pain she was hiding, knowing that the child would never carry on the family name.

In all of this, Jeremy had begun fostering a new respect and even admiration for this powerhouse of a woman.

Emma Anne's gentle touch on his arm brought him back to the activity at the table. Her quizzical look was met with a full faced smile, reassuring her that he was indeed alright.

Glancing around the table, Jeremy noticed that Sara and Logan were chuckling at the end of Billy's story, but Gil sat staring absently in their direction.

Remembering the flurry of discussions about his strict medicine timetable, Jeremy cleared his throat and spoke, "Gil? You look ready for some shuteye!"

The question made Gil turn his attention to Sara, almost as if he was unsure of who had spoken.

Sara was quick to pick up on his confusion.

"Okay, that's it! Sleep for you, mister!" she said lovingly, as she rose and grabbed onto his hand.

"I'll get the medication and bring it up," Logan added as he rose to his feet.

"Your bed is already turned down, so you can get right in," Emma Anne asked standing by her chair.

"I'll help you upstairs," Jeremy added, moving to stand next to Gil who was looking a bit overtired.

Lillian had moved towards them, stopping when she realized everyone had taken care of the necessary details. She was feeling a bit like she was in the way.

A haphazard glance her way made Sara's heart drop. _She's been really trying…she looks so…alone…_

Not wanting to add to the pain this mother had gone through these past few weeks, Sara moved towards her and surprised Lillian with an unsolicited hug.

"Thank you, Lillian," Sara whispered.

"It's good to have you…home…" was all Lillian could eek out before the tears threatened to fall.

Sara smiled broadly into the older woman's eyes before moving away to follow Gil up the stairs.

Logan had been moving through the doorway from the foyer and caught the tender scene at the end.

Smiling, he moved towards Lillian without looking at her, snaking his arm around her shoulder and bringing her closer to him.

As the trio ascended the stairs, Logan's attention was suddenly on Lillian as she turned and placed her head into the crook of his neck which instantly was wet from her tears.

He stood immobile for a second before the realization dawned on him, as it does for all those who have suffered a horrible tragedy.

_This is real. _

_It's all… _real.

_Sara is going to have a baby. _

_Nick's baby._

_Sara is going to marry Gil. _

_Because Nick…our Nick…is…_

The pain overcame them and they clung to each other in the privacy of their sprawling kitchen where once upon a time, a happy little boy had given and received so much love…

-------

Jeremy smiled as Sara entered Gil's room directly behind them.

Lillian had made her usual preparations for guests, personally fussing with Sara's room to make sure it was comfortable and cozy, right down to the vase of daisies on the bedside table.

Emma Anne had noted to him that it was odd to think that Lillian believed Sara would not desire to share Gil's bed during their stay.

Both servants had giggled as they brought the suitcases up to the landing, hesitating on exactly what to do.

But Lillian had stood there directing traffic, so suitcases were taken and opened in their separate, adjoining rooms.

When Sara turned around taking in the room, realization hit her like slap in the face.

Jeremy thought he caught a flash of something in her eye, but it disappeared before he could be sure.

Now, Gil was resting heavily on the cool colored sheets, covered in the cottony comforter Sara was smoothing over him.

He reached up without opening his eyes, tiredly pulling her towards him.

Sara leaned over to listen to his whisper which, while so low it would be impossible to overhear, made her eyes dart to Jeremy as her cheeks turned rosy.

Turning to leave a kiss on his lips, Sara cocked one eyebrow and spoke severely, "Gilbert!"

This caused Jeremy to turn away to hide his smirk as he busied himself to ask if they would need anything else.

"Nothing else, Jeremy. Thanks so much," Sara answered moving towards the door.

There was great confusion in his mind as he said good night and headed towards the stairs while he heard Sara turn to head to her assigned room, the soft turn of the knob signaling her entrance.

_Is she _really_ not going to share his bed tonight?_

Shaking his head as if the movement might dislodge an answer, Jeremy moved in search of Emma Anne.

He passed Logan on the landing, too preoccupied to notice the glisten of moisture still on the judge's cheek.

Moving into Gil's open door, Logan took a deep breath and pasted a smile on his face.

"Gil? Time for the next dose!"

Gil opened his eyes partway, coughing to waken himself enough to acknowledge Logan's efforts.

Taking the prescribed, prepackaged dose, Gil's eyebrows knit as Logan opened a notebook to write.

As if gauging his confusion, Logan spoke as he jotted down the figures.

"This? Oh, Lillian's idea. With everyone around wanting to help you, she thought you'd have less chance of an overdose if we recorded when you took what," he smiled, noting Gil nodding in approval.

"Okay, then…where's Sara?" he asked in confusion, as he had expected her to be hovering over him as she did at the hospital.

Just then, there was a loud bang of a door and the sounds of exertion coming from the hallway.

Both men started, thinking about racing to the hallway, when suddenly Sara's form appeared at the doorway.

Pulling on the handle of her overstuffed suitcase, she was making every effort to pull the case forward without exerting too much strain on her midsection.

"Here, darlin'" Logan spoke as he moved forward in giant strides.

Lifting the suitcase onto the closet perch, he turned and moved to lead Sara to the overstuffed chair next to the bed.

"You know you could've asked for help with that," Logan mock-scolded her, his concern deleting any annoyance from his tone.

Sara smiled.

"Guess I'm just used to doing everything for myself, Dad," she sighed, leaning her head back tiredly.

Logan looked from Sara's resting form to Gil's body almost asleep on the cushiony surface.

Leaning towards her, the judge kissed her forehead and whispered, "Get some rest, darlin'. It's been a long couple of days, and you need your sleep."

Patting her abdomen which just today started to appear rounder, he added, "You both do."

Heeding his advice, Sara reached out a hand for him to help her stand.

Another kiss. "Sleep well, darlin'."

"Good night, Dad….and thanks…for everything."

A broad smile graced his face as he turned and spoke to Gil, reminding him to call on the intercom if they needed anything.

Once the door was closed, Sara closed her eyes tiredly in an effort to gather just a bit more strength to unpack.

Gil's quiet tone squelched that idea.

"Sara."

She turned slowly, willing herself to look bright and alert so he wouldn't worry.

"You need something, Gil?"

"Just you."

Those two little words, almost whispered in need, jumpstarted her heart.

She stood completely still, taking in the ragged breaths that signaled his impending departure into dreamland.

How she loved this man!

In swift succession, her thoughts lingered over how easily she could have lost him, how unbearable her life would be without him, and how grateful she was that they had been given this final chance to be together.

Her sudden need for contact with him overwhelmed her, and she found herself kicking off her shoes and climbing under the covers he had pulled back for her.

She moved so close she was practically atop him, and as concerned as she was about hurting him, all the while she continued childishly huddling against him as she sought sanctuary from her memories.

His eyes remained closed, his final waking thought exhaled on the soft breath, "My Sara…"

In a moment, Sara followed him in sleep…

_The meadow stretched far before her._

_Clean, crisp air surrounded them as if poured from the brilliant blue of the sky._

_She was walking slowly towards him, and he turned and raised his hand to hail her._

_Within seconds they were touching, his arms encircling her as if he were protecting her with his life._

_She leaned back into his embrace, willing his lips to fall to hers._

_A small giggle prevented that action, as they both turned to see a darling little mop head lumbering towards them on unsteady feet._

_He released her with a peck to the nose, turning to gather the little form into his arms._

_Both of them planted a kiss on either side of her cherubic face, before leaning in front of her to plant another kiss squarely on each other's lips._

_This kiss lingered as small lips gifted the cheeks of first one, then the other with a succession of kisses._

_Breaking off with a happy smile, she first rubbed the child's back lovingly before resuming her place at his side, surrendering her hand into his as they stood there contented to just be together…_

The silence of the bedroom was broken with the sound of the two slumbering lovers each sighing softly, oblivious to the fact that his hand moved slowly to claim hers…

------------

Early the next afternoon, a slight tap on the door went unnoticed as the calm quiet of this healing place allowed them to continue with their restorative sleep.

Gil had only been roused once that morning, as Jeremy brought his dosage and retreated without waking Sara.

Sara on the other hand had only gotten up once during the early morning hours as the baby caused pressure on her bladder, but then had quietly returned to snuggle into his side.

So now, another knock brought them a new visitor.

Emma Anne walked to Sara's side, whispering her concern that everything was alright and they were not in need of anything.

As she slipped out silently, the action stirred Gil from his sleep.

Wincing a bit as the pain of moving caught his breath, Sara placed both hands on either side of his shoulder.

"Just relax, Gil…take it one step at a time," she hovered, and despite the fact that "invalid" was not a role he relished, on some level Gil was enjoying her attentions.

"How about a nice hot soak?" Sara asked, herself fantasizing about slipping into neck-high liquid heat.

Gil was sold at the first suggestion.

Kissing Sara deeply, he answered, "Only if you join me."

Sara smiled broadly and returned his kiss in kind.

"That would be the plan," she spoke seductively.

As Sara had just stood from making her side of the bed, straightening her clothes and running a hand through her tousled locks, another knock on the door came.

Moving to answer, Sara was taken aback by seeing Lillian standing there with a worried look on her face.

Immediately, her eyes flew to Sara's abdomen as she asked, "Sara? Everything okay?"

Realizing that Lillian had probably spent the morning pacing in concern, Sara dug deep to summon a bright smile.

"Perfect, Lillian. I just really needed the sleep."

Her shoulders sagged slightly in relief, as she looked past Sara to ask, "And how is Gil today?"

Moving aside, suddenly Sara was glad that the bedding on her side of the bed looked undisturbed.

"I'm fine, Lillian. This bed is really comfortable. I feel very rested."

Pleased that Gil and Sara looked rested, Lillian suddenly felt a bit out of place.

"Are you-, will you be-, um, should I have Cook make you a tray, or…" the words gushed forth in a jumble.

Inwardly sighing as she realized that hot bath would have to wait, Sara beamed, "We were just getting ready to come down. Maybe we'll just eat in the kitchen."

Lillian looked pleased, but her smile grew as Sara continued, "Will you join us?"

Without thought, her hand moved forward to touch Sara's forearm. "I'll go see what Cook can make for us."

The door closed and Sara slowly turned to find a smiling Grissom.

"You're not upset?" she inquired as she moved slowly towards him.

"I love you," was his reply.

She leaned over and claimed his lips, keeping her body from touching his.

The lack of contact seemed to fuel their desire, and soon their kiss was turning hotter and more demanding.

Gil turned to swing his arm around her and pull her closer, when his hand hit the alarm clock beside it and it went crashing to the floor.

The noise brought them back to the reality of their situation, and with foreheads melded together Sara could only say, "Well…time _does_ fly when you're having fun!"

Another stolen kiss and she pulled away reluctantly.

"Ready?" she asked as she reached towards him with her hand to help him sit up.

"Yes…but we have to wait, remember?" he responded cheekily, causing her to gift him with the sound of her laughter.

----------

Their late lunch was fun, full of the exchange of ideas for their impromptu wedding.

Lillian's ideas were always too outlandish.

Sara's ideas were almost too simplistic.

Gil's ideas all centered on making his dream come true as soon as possible.

He had not shared any of his ideas with Sara since he hadn't had much chance to be alone with her since his incident at the courthouse.

Looking over at her giggling and smiling with Lillian, his heart warmed again at the sight of his love.

Lord, how he loved this woman.

Suddenly, he was becoming flush with the need to hold her, to marry her, to make her his own, to begin their life together.

He was just not willing to wait for his "happily ever after" another day.

Sara was speaking, and now had Lillian agreeing that Gil would be final voice where the wedding plans concerned.

Pleased that they saw him in that role, he took a deep breath and laid his cards on the table.

"I've made a decision," he said calmly, and both women looked at each other before giving him their attention.

"Today is Thursday, and I believe Saturday would be a perfect day to make Sara my wife."

He grinned in anticipation.

He frowned with silence continued to rule the room.

"Sara?" he asked, unsure of what to read in the expression on her face that was mirrored in Lillian's flabbergasted gaze.

"Sa-Saturday?" Sara spoke, "A-as in _this_ Saturday?"

"Saturday…"Lillian all but whispered, and Gil could see the wheels already turning in her mind.

Clearing his throat, Gil continued with a bit less confidence, "Well, we're here, Logan's here, the cottage is here-"

"We're getting married at the _cottage_?" Sara shrieked out excitedly as she grabbed onto his hand, making Gil's confidence grow a bit.

"Um, yes…and well, Brass, Catherine, Warrick, and Greg are only a short flight away…I'm sure they can arrange the same coverage as before, seeing as this will only be a full day visit," Gil continued.

By now, Lillian was no longer listening. One day. There was a wedding to plan, and there would only be _one day_ to do it.

Completely ignoring Gil, Lillian stood and grabbed Sara's hand.

"Sara, let's go. There's so much to do, so much to do…"

Speechless, Sara stood and allowed Lillian to lead her from the cozy kitchen area.

Gil continued to sit motionless, robotically reaching for a sip from his still-warm mug.

_One more day to make Sara mine forever…_

He was drawn out of his thoughts by the sudden emergence of a figure in the doorway.

Sara's eyes locked on his for a long second, and worry began to eat away at the pleasure of his daydream.

But he needn't have worried, for in a split second Sara was lunging for him as he moved his chair back to accommodate her on his lap.

She kissed him madly, pulling back to pepper him with kisses before leaning back to grace him with a full-watt Sidle Smile.

"One more day!" she almost shrieked as she hugged him tightly.

The small shards of pain that imbedded themselves in the bandaged area under her hands were a small price to pay to see her so happy.

As if she just remembered, Sara released him swiftly but Gil hid his discomfort by crushing his mouth to hers in a searing kiss.

"One more day, then you'll be Sara Grissom…._forever_," Gil spoke emphatically at the end, needing to confirm his lifelong commitment to her.

Both lovers could hear Lillian calling for Sara from the family room.

Twisting in his lap to allow him to cradle her more comfortably in his arms, Sara remained contentedly seated for just another moment shuddering with delight as she sighed happily, "Oh, Gil…"


	83. Chapter 83

A/N: Unexpected travel, interim Internet access on a borrowed computer, seven day work weeks – and you have the makings of a regrettable delay in posting…this chapter takes place the day before the wedding…looks like the next chapter could be the finale of this work of love…yet, these two have a way of letting me know when it's time…and you all remain terrific and so appreciated for your patient reader and reviewer support…hope this pleases…left me with a smile on my face…hope you will have one, too…next chapter as soon as possible…after all, it will be the wedding day…all mistakes are mine…. –Kathy

-------------------

Gil slept soundly late into the morning, partly due to the effects of the medication but more exactly due to the peaceful state of mind in knowing that his dreams were shortly to be realized.

Groaning slightly, his eyes remained closed as his hands searched for the hand of the only woman he had ever loved.

Surprisingly, his fingers grazed the edge of folded stationery, narrowly averting a nasty paper cut.

Flexing his fingers to grasp the paper, his eyes opened as his hand brought the object into view.

He smiled as he read.

_Gil-_

_Dragged out for a shopping spree with Lillian._

_(You owe me big time!)_

_You'd better rest up, mister._

_You have a big night tomorrow!_

_Yours forever,_

_Sara_

_  
_A brief chuckle make him wince, but the smile remained as thoughts of a determined Lillian dragging a reluctant Sara from store to store was just too comical.

The innuendo concerning their wedding night was not lost on him either. Just the thought of it made restless stirrings below the drawstring waist of his pajamas.

Deciding a distraction was definitely in order, Gil was just about to move himself to a sitting position when a knock on the door grabbed his attention.

"Ah! You're awake!" smiled Logan as he entered the room with a medicine cup full of Gil's next dose of medicine.

"Thank you, Logan," Gil spoke as he held out his hand to retrieve his pills.

"Sore much?"

"It's manageable now," Gil replied before swallowing the handful of colored pills in one gulp.

"Sara made me promise to keep you on schedule with those pills. But if you'd like to get some more rest…" Logan spoke as he was already moving back towards the doorway.

Gil's response halted the judge's movements.

"Actually, I was just about to get up and shower before making my way down to see what Emma Anne has made in the way of lunch," he spoke as he swung his pajama clad legs over the side of the bed slowly.

"You seem to be doing okay there," Logan smiled. "So…feel up to the big day tomorrow?"

Gil smiled as he stood cautiously, pleased that he felt no pain upon standing.

His look turned a bit more serious as he answered, "_Nothing_ will keep me from making Sara my wife tomorrow."

Gil saw a look pass over Logan's eyes and then quickly vanish. With a sigh over what may have been construed as an insensitive remark, the CSI shook his head slightly and began, "Logan-"

But the judge's smile was genuine as his hands raised before him in a calming gesture.

"It's okay, Gil."

Moving towards the doorway, he turned suddenly and said, "Could I join you for brunch? There's….well, there's…something I want to talk to you about."

Curiosity about the topic made Gil reply hesitantly, "Fine. About ten minutes?"

The judge nodded and left the room while Gil freshened up, pondering about exactly what their conversation would be.

-------

Sara walked out of the third store with one small bag as she held the door for Lillian who was already managing two handfuls of shopping bags.

"Sara! You really have to get into the spirit, dear! It isn't like you have _days_ to put together a trousseau, and we haven't even _discussed_ what _dress_ you'll be wearing!"

A small sigh escaped undetected as Sara's mind drifted back to the first time Lillian had dragged her and Nick's sisters into that tacky little bridal shop where dresses were hanging from the ceiling, on wall displays, and on every rack positioned over the cramped boutique.

Dark thoughts started to loom over Sara's conscious mind, recalling those days of indecision, of longing for a life with Gil she thought she'd never have, about the accident that caused Gil to reveal his true feelings for her…

Sara was abruptly returned to the present as her distracted self collided almost head-on with a passerby.

"Oh! I'm sorry-" Sara began, but was cut off by a voice calling, "Lillian?"

For a moment, Sara turned expecting to see Lillian's trademark smile. She was surprised to see a stoic grin perfunctorily gracing her face instead.

"Madelyn. So surprising to see you out and about this early on a Friday. I heard you were in Palms Springs for the season," Lillian spoke and Sara noted for the first time that she was decidedly uncomfortable in this woman's presence.

Something in Lillian's tone told Sara this woman was not on her "BFF" list.

Madelyn's eyes squinted slightly as she squared her shoulders a bit haughtily

"Hmm. Just got back actually. I asked my driver to bring me in early to avoid the tourists."

Giving Sara the once over, she turned to Lillian and said snidely, "And how is everything with _you_, dear? I heard about your _dreadful_ loss."

Sara's back was up as she pondered how anyone could speak about the death of someone's child in such a callous manner.

Again eyeing Sara, unsure as to whom this stranger might be, Madelyn again turned her conversation rudely to Lillian.

"How _are_ you holding up, dear? Such a terrible year for you. First, the _embarrassment _of that wedding fiasco, then to find out your son was killed doing _god knows what_-"

Madelyn shook her head in mock distress, her eyes glowering over Sara who was beginning to develop an intense dislike for this matronly gossip.

Instinctively, Sara realized that Lillian had not disclosed much information to her circle of society other than Nick had been killed.

Somehow, Sara was relieved at that. Nick certainly deserved to have his reputation remain intact, and Lillian certainly deserved to have her privacy respected about the whole terrible ordeal.

Sara looked to Lillian who, to her surprise, was suddenly mute.

Sara's eyes whipped from Lillian to Madelyn, anger storming at the diminutive way she continued to speak to the bereaved mother.

"Well, you know what I always said. I speak my mind, Lillian, and you know I never cared for the ideal of Nicholas moving to Las Vegas. He should have stayed here at home, followed in his father's footsteps, married a hometown girl…"

Sara was seeing red now, moving forward in an unconscious attempt to shield Lillian from the verbal attack she was enduring.

"Excuse me…and _you_ would be…" Madelyn spoke dismissively, but was unprepared for Sara's curt reply.

"My name is Sara…Sara _Stokes,_" she spoke, a furious look in her eyes.

Madelyn was not fully comprehending the message Sara was sending, but as the woman turned to Lillian for an explanation she was cut off by Sara stepping forward into her personal space.

"_I_ am the woman that stole Nick Stokes' heart away from that _hometown girl._"

To say Madelyn was now speechless would be an understatement. Not that it mattered now because Sara was on a roll.

"And if you knew one iota about Nick Stokes, you would know that he was an incredibly talented CSI whose work helped more victims and their families than he could ever possibly dream of helping in your _quaint_ little corner of the world!"

Madelyn gulped visibly before venturing, "I-I wasn't aware that Nicholas had gotten married. After all, with the wedding called off that day-"

Squaring her own shoulders, Sara's baby bump peeked out from beneath her opened cardigan sweater, riveting Madelyn's attention and making her eyes bug out at the sight.

"Oh…dear…" Madelyn's gaze flicked back into Sara's contentious stare. "I-I-I just assumed-"

Sara interrupted again, "Well, my old supervisor used to say _never_ assume! It just makes an _ass _out of _you_ and me!"

Madelyn sucked in her breath, unable to form a coherent thought after that attack.

Taking full advantage of the silence, Sara turned sweetly to Lillian, taking one bag from her grasp before asking, "Ready to go…_Mom_?"

Lillian's eyes pricked with moisture at the Sidle smile raining down on her.

Inhaling deeply, she felt a special bond sealing with this woman whom she now knew would always be part of the Stokes family.

Standing a bit more upright, Lillian squeezed Sara's arm before waving to Madelyn, "We really must be going now."

To which Sara added, "You have a great day!" as she gave a sassy wave of the hand before turning her back triumphantly on the stunned woman.

Madelyn could only stand there, her hand automatically raising in a mirrored gesture as she watched the two women disappear from sight.

The two women walked forward and remained silent until they turned the corner.

Leaning against the edge of the building they looked deeply into each other's eyes before a fit of laughter overtook them both.

"Well, I'm sure every cell phone in the county is blazing right about now," Lillian chuckled, making Sara stop her laughter.

"I-I hope…" she began, but was put to ease immediately by a hug from Lillian.

"That little gossip had it coming to her, Sara. She has always felt this superiority over me. Madelyn DeLeius deserved everything you gave her, and more!"

Smiling shyly, Sara tucked some hair behind her ear. "I just hope I didn't embarrass you…"

Linking arms with Sara, Lillian tugged her forward. "My daughter could never embarrass me…"

The two women shared a long look before smiles graced both their faces.

"Now, let's go see about finding you the perfect dress, Sara dear."

The bride-to-be couldn't contain her joy as she practically skipped forward, saying, "Ok, _Mom_…"

Moving down the street, Sara thought about how happy her life had become.

_Nick told me I'd be happy now._

_Tomorrow Gil wants to make his wife…forever._

_Soon we'll have a baby to raise…to be a real family._

_Now, I finally have someone whom I can call Mom and Dad…who I know now will always be there for me._

_It's more than I ever dreamed I'd have._

_A real family. _

_It may be simple, but it's really all I've every really wanted._

_So simple…_

So simple.

Simple!

Sara's thoughts brought her to an abrupt stop, almost knocking Lillian backwards.

Concern turned to curiosity as Lillian watched the emotions pour over Sara's face.

"Sara?" she asked, but was answered only with a smile.

"Simple," was Sara's only reply as she tugged excitedly on Lillian's arm.

"C'mon, Mom! I think I know exactly the kind of dress I want to wear for the wedding!"

------------

Having finished their late brunch, Gil and Logan found themselves alone in the kitchen.

"So…what was it you wanted to talk to me about?" Gil asked randomly, hoping the anxiety was not evident in his voice.

"Well, uh," stammered Logan, hopeful he had made wise decisions on this matter.

Gil sat back, wincing slightly as he repositioned himself on the polished wooden chair.

"What say we head over to my office, Gil? The chairs are a bit more padded, and will definitely be more comfortable."

The two men headed down the hallway and Gil was surprised when Logan locked the door.

Once situated in the seat before the large office desk, Gil gave Logan his undivided attention.

Logan unlocked his lap drawer and handed Gil and enveloped marked simply, "Sara".

Turning it over in his large hands, Gil paused when he heard the judge offer, "Open it."

Pulling out the legal documents, Gil spread out not one but three short stacks of courthouse documents.

His eyes became wider as he moved from one pile to the other.

"Logan-" was all he could utter, before coughing and leaning back slightly while asking, "Does Sara know about this?"

Logan tented his fingers in front of his lips before answering.

"No…not yet…these were….well, they are…I guess you could say they're our wedding gift…to the both of you…"

Gil was speechless.

Logan leaned forward nervously.

"Do you…I mean do you think…what do you anticipate Sara's reaction will be?"

Gil continued to eye the documents, shaking his head slightly as he tried to reason out all the ramifications of the judge's actions.

Worriedly, Logan pressed on.

"You think she'll be okay with this?...you don't think she'll believe we're trying to trap her, or…" his voice trailed off as he tried to get a read on Gil's concentrated stare.

Finally finding his voice, all Gil could utter was, "Wow…Logan…I-I think she'll be…"

Logan leaned forward, needing to hear the descriptive lest his heart surely stop.

Gil smiled. "I think this will bring her great joy."

Leaning back, the judge's eyes closed momentarily and he exhaled happily.

Gil continued, "That cabin has very special memories for us. Giving her the deed to the property will allow her to finally have a _home_ to call her own. _Our_ own," he correctly himself with a smile.

Pulling out the second stack, Logan began pointing out several other legal details.

Basically, as Nick was the only male heir to the Stokes family, Logan and Lillian had decided to divide the section of ranch that included the cabin and the undeveloped lower forty acres surrounding it and deed it to Sara and Nick's unborn child.

Additionally, Sara and the child were included in the new codicil of Logan and Lillian's will. Upon their deaths, the two would receive Nick's share of their inheritance.

Finally, Nick's inherited land in Oregon which had reverted back to Logan upon Nick's death had since been sold. The final group of papers detailed the sale and the close to one million dollars profit from the sale, after taxes, had been invested in a low-risk portfolio for Gil and Sara and their family.

Gil could not help but smile at Logan's excitement as he detailed the particulars aloud.

Catching Gil's bemused glance, Logan's cheeks reddened slightly as he paused.

"Sorry. It's just that-" he paused to take a deep, steadying breath.

"After losing Nick, and now realizing the only chance has passed for the Stokes family name to survive…"

Gil interrupted the emotional choke in Logan's speech as he leaned forward to place the papers back into the envelope, allowing the judge to regain his composure.

"When do you plan to give these to her?"

Gruffly, Logan said, "I thought I'd leave that up to you…"

Handing the envelope back to Logan, Gil spoke from the heart.

"Sara will be just as unbelieving as I that you have done such a generous thing. But more importantly, she will be most moved that she now has a _real family _who caresabout her and her child to do such a thing..."

Catching Logan's eyes, Gil added, "…Dad."

Both men smiled, knowing that they shared a common bond of love for this remarkable woman who had stolen both their hearts.

-------------

"It's perfect!"

Lillian smiled in agreement as Sara turned back to view the dress in the mirror.

The tips of the handkerchief hem kissed her slender legs mid-calf as the thin spaghetti straps hugged her lightly-freckled shoulders.

The single overlay of ivory taffeta added a slight shimmer as the empire-waisted satin designer dress softly flowed over her hips, secreting her baby bump.

"_Simply_ perfect," Sara almost whispered.

Glancing at the fit from all sides, Sara's heart gave a tiny leap as she imagined sauntering down the path by the lake into Gil's waiting arms.

Sighing at the happy thought, Sara's hands suddenly flew to her abdomen, causing Lillian to leap to her feet in shock.

"Sara, dear-" she began, but her worry was soon abated by Sara reaching out to grasp her hand and to hold it firmly in place over her baby bump.

Smiles were shared by the two women.

"Guess she approves of this dress," Lillian laughed, only to be treated to one more palpable movement by her grandchild.

"I think perhaps you both have had enough shopping for today," the elder woman said protectively, and Sara could only nod in agreement.

"Let me help you out of that dress, dear," Lillian said as she picked up the shoe box and moved towards the dressing room.

Alone for a final moment, Sara turned one more time as she smoothed her hand down from the thin line of beading adorning the bottom of the slightly gathered waistline to rest over the place where her child now rested comfortably.

She stared directly into her reflection, marveling at the happy eyes which shone back at her.

She thought about Gil's good night kiss last evening and the words he whispered as he nuzzled his face into her hair.

"_One more day…and then no one will come between us again…"_

Sara spun around like a tiny ballerina, resting her arms securely about her as she was now anxious to get home, her happiness spilling over as she breathed out, "Oh, Gil…"


	84. Chapter 84

A/N: Heartfelt apologies for life getting in the way of concluding this story… I really felt like this would be the last chapter, but as usual these two have other ideas…the wedding day is here, but the ceremony itself will have to wait until the next chapter (which I promise will be soon)…all mistakes are mine…for those who have continued to read and review, my sincere gratitude…for those who have supported this story by reading, thanks for your patience…you remain terrific in my eyes, and you are the reason I love to write GSR…hope this pleases…-Kathy

-------------------------

Sara stretched lazily, her eyes slowly focusing on the beauty of the sunlit day.

She reached over for him, only to find his side of their bed cold and empty.

Her head twisted frantically, worst case scenarios flooding her brain.

It was then that she spied the long-stemmed daisy with the note beneath.

Smirking despite her best efforts, Sara rolled to her side as she rested her head on the overstuffed pillow and reached for the blossom.

Pulling the daisy towards her, she sniffed its newly-picked scent. Allowing her mind to wander towards all the times this bloom had featured itself in their past, she sighed.

Picking up the hastily scrawled note, Sara laughed aloud girlishly at the words.

Rereading it over and over, she buried her face in her pillow to stifle her giggle and pulled her gaze back to reread once more.

"_Sara,_

_You can spare the poor petals. I can __assure __you that "He LOVES you!"_

_Yours, Gil"_

A knock on the door raised her hopes that she could thank him face-to-face.

Her disappointment must have registered on her features, causing Emma Anne to frown and ask, "Sara, is everything alright?"

Clutching the daisy closer to her chest, Sara immediately recovered and smiled her full-wattage smile.

"It's perfect, Emma, just perfect…where is everybody?" she queried, noting the remarkable absence of distant sounds of activity.

Smiling fully herself, Emma Anne pronounced, "Well…it seems Dr. Grissom has taken charge of this day. Corralled everyone out to the cabin. Insisted they make their own preparations there while you have the entire run of the house to get ready for your special day. 'Doctor's orders,' he said."

Sara beamed. He was going to make this day as special as he did once before…_before I messed up, before I left, before the nightmare began…_

Noting the shadow that crossed over her gaze, Emma Anne moved forward as she retrieved an envelope from her pocket.

"Doctor Grissom asked me to give this to you upon your awakening," she spoke as she handed over the envelope towards Sara's quizzical stare, before turning to leave the room.

At the doorway, Emma Anne paused to smile and ask, "Will you be coming down to breakfast, or would you like a tray?"

Just as Sara was about to tear into the envelope, she paused to absently answer, "Not that hungry, thanks," just as she flipped open the folded sheet.

_Sara,_

_Please remember to eat…even if you just have something light for breakfast. The little one is going to have a big day today. And you will need your strength…for _you_ are going to have a big night tonight…_

_I'll be waiting…take your time…from now on, I'm not going anywhere without you by my side…can't wait to see you soon…_

_Love, _

_Gil_

She leaned back against the pillows and without taking her eyes from the letter she spoke softly, "I'll be down in a few minutes, Emma Anne."

Continuing to reread the message, Sara only slightly registered the sound of a door closing softly…

------------

The flurry of activity under the picture-perfect Texas sky was in stark contrast to the scene in the upstairs master bedroom.

Despite the noisy preparations both outside by the pond and under the shade trees directly outside the front porch, Gil stood unhearing as he stared at the reflection of a groom-to-be in the oval dresser mirror.

Dressed to the nines in a silky white tuxedo shirt that hugged his recovering frame handsomely, his fingers paused over the folds of the cumberbund, having already neatly tied the matching bow tie after only a few attempts.

Gil had decided to forego his medications for this day.

He wanted his mind clear and focused.

Sara deserved nothing less as they started their new life together.

His head drooped as his eyes closed against the onslaught of the images that encroached on his peace of mind.

He stared at his image, squaring his jaw as he tried to shake off this shadow that continued its assault on his peace of mind.

_This is our wedding day._

_This will be the culmination of our seemingly endless journey towards each other. _

_This should be the happiest day of my life._

Yet, his mind was teeming with horrific memories of the recent past; Sara's abduction, subsequent hospitalization, his own near-death experience.

_I cannot count on a happily ever after._

_I cannot breathe with worry that something is once again going to come between us._

_I cannot lose her, ever again._

_I cannot breathe…_

Gil knew Sara would be furious with him for lying to her about having taken his pain meds before bedtime.

He had not slept well last night because of that decision.

While Sara slept peacefully, Gil' rest had be plagued by nightmarish visions of losing Sara in a labyrinth where voices and hands tugged at his frantic form, his voice mute and unable to call out to her.

Now, Gil was so wrapped up in his emotional crisis that the sound of the soft footfalls entering the room behind him went unnoticed.

After a moment of assessing his friend's distress, he realized that Gil was battling some personal demons.

Jim's shoulders sagged as he felt for his friend, knowing he needed to express and deal with these deep-seated fears before they encroached on this most joyous day.

_He's never really talked about all that they've gone through, trying to be so strong for Sara._

_It isn't good that he keeps his emotions so closed off._

_Boy, these two…they certainly are a pair!_

Brass spoke softly.

"You certainly are one lucky son of a bitch."

Gil's surprise had him inhaling sharply as he twisted around towards the intruder.

His exhale was equally sharp, followed by another labored breath.

Jim was there in a heartbeat, his hand firmly clasping onto Gil's forearm to steady him as made his way to sit in the padded rocker beckoning from its place by the window.

"Hey, take it easy there, buddy. Just sit back and relax. Breathe in and out, in and out."

Gil's breathing leveled out eventually and his solid frame relaxed easily against the supportive high back of the rocker.

The slight rocking motion supplied a bit of comfort, and Gil could feel himself unwinding from his latest panic attack.

"Much better…thanks," he responded, still a bit breathless, without really looking at Brass, embarrassed to be seen in such a weak moment.

Brass smirked and let out a slow breath.

"You know, you are going to be the death of me, my friend," he joked with a slight chuckle.

When Gil didn't respond, Brass decided to press his luck.

"Maybe you should postpone this wedding."

The glare he received would have cut through steel.

"No, I'm serious…look at you…you're still recovering from your surgery-"

"I'm fine," Gil muttered softly over his friend's rant.

"God knows how hard it's going to be to take care of a new wife who is several months pregnant-"

"Sara will never be a burden-"

"It's not like you have to worry about the effect of your relationship on the job anymore-"

"I've already resigned."

Brass' head whipped around to stare at his friend. _Well, I'll be a-…he's serious!_

Going for broke, Jim leaned into Grissom's personal space and calmly said,

"Then what the _hell_ is your problem, Gil?"

Expecting the usual diversionary dance, Brass was stunned by Grissom's immediate response.

"I can't bear the thought…that I'll lose her, Jim."

Silence hung over them for a moment as Gil raked his hands absently through his curls before clasping them together in his lap.

Jim backed off and sat across from Gil, thanking the powers above that his friend was finally opening up.

"I think about the horrors Sara has lived through in her life, and I worry that I won't be enough for her when she needs me.

I worry that someone will physically take her from me again because I can't protect her well enough.

I worry that something will go wrong during childbirth, and I will lose her again.

I worry-" but his emotions choked off his next words.

When Gil finally chanced a look at his friend, instead of the expected dismissive behavior, he was shocked to see moisture welling in Jim's eyes.

That action made his own lips quiver as his confession now bared the truth which kept him from claiming Sara for all those years.

"I worry that I just am not …_enough_…for her."

Seeing as Brass was forming his thoughts, Gil settled back against the cool wood as he rocked steadily back and forth, the action continuing to calm his earlier tension.

Finally, Jim brushed his hand roughly over his eyes to rid them of the emotion before clasping his hands on his lap and inhaling deeply.

"It sure has been a helluva few months, hasn't it?"

Gil could only nod, his attention fully on his friend's message.

"You love her."

Again, a nod of agreement.

"Then, be with her."

The simplicity of the remark caused a furrow in Gil's brow.

Brass leaned forward, choosing his words carefully.

"Listen, Gil. _None_ of us can predict the future.

You and Sara, you two have had everything fate could dish out targeted at separating you.

But if you knew for sure today was your last day on earth, wouldn't you want to spend it as the most happily married man in the universe?"

Grissom's rocking slowed.

He found him mind reliving parts of a flashback to the insane dream that held him prisoner directly after the shooting, hearing Nick's voice promising, _"You don't belong here, Grissom. Not for a long time."_

Leaning forward, Brass' hand gently lay on Gil's shoulder, bringing him out of his daydream.

"After everything, Gil…today's _your _day.

Sara _loves_ you.

Just keep your eye on _that_ prize.

And then remember to make every day _count_."

Standing up, Brass moved towards the French doors behind Gil and let him think about what had just been said to him.

When Gil suddenly stood and moved like a man on a mission towards the bedroom doors, Brass held his breath.

Pausing slightly, Gil turned with his hand on the gleaming glass knob.

The smile on his friend's face gave Brass all the assurance he needed.

"Well, Jim? Are you going to stay there all day? I do believe we have a wedding to attend to!"

Hardly able to contain his joy, Brass grabbed Gil's coat from the bed and slung it over his arm.

Moving out into the hallway, the two men exchanged a look.

"Thanks," Gil said almost awkwardly.

"Hey, it was nothing. Cold feet sermons are my specialty."

With that, they both laughed and moved towards the winding staircase with Brass commenting on the construction Logan had paid for in anticipation of handing over ownership of the cabin to Sara.

Gil smiled as Jim whistled at the sizable home improvements that had been completed in the last week.

Logan had spared no expense, calling in many favors to have the sizeable project completed in just under seven days.

An entire addition had been created onto the back of the cabin.

The fireplace had been removed and the back wall taken down.

In its place, a large two story high family room with a cathedral ceiling had been created from three new large-windowed walls that were wood-paneled.

A half-wall hearth encased a deep caverned fireplace.

On the right side, the second level held the master bedroom where Gil had spoken to Brass.

This loft room was spacious with its own bathroom complete with sunken tub, and the French doors that would eventually let out to a mini terrace overlooking the family room.

Below that, the meager kitchen area had been expanded to fill the entire space under the master bedroom.

Eventually, there would be ceiling high cabinets and an eat-in dining area, but Logan was sure Sara would want the joy of decorating her own home.

"Plenty of space for a growing family," Logan's tone smiled from behind them.

"It's amazing – Sara will love it," Gil said softly.

"I- I hope so," Logan spoke less confidently, still worried about Sara's initial reaction to being deeded the land.

He and Lillian so hoped this new family would reside here, so they could be part of their grandchild's life, even if the baby never knew its true lineage.

The slamming of car doors broke their concentration and the three men moved to welcome their visitors.

Catherine was first to ascend the stairs, whistling at the new improvements to the cabin.

"Nice digs. Perfect day for a wedding, too."

Brass smiled and gave her a hug, but after sharing a kiss on the cheek with Logan, her face fell as she approached Grissom.

He knew _that_ look.

"Thanks loads, Gil," she began, and fortunately Gil could see the smirk hiding behind her frowning lips.

"Daytime Supervisor? Me? You don't seriously expect that I would be thrilled about that, do you?"

Gil knew better than to interrupt a Catherine rant.

"And when were you going to tell us you are not coming back? When you're on your honeymoon? A postcard that ended 'Oh, by the way…'?

Grissom opened his mouth to speak, but Catherine had other plans.

"You just don't DO something like this without speaking to us first, Gil.

We're family. We need to talk things over, be okay with the major decisions."

Gil hung his head slightly.

Aside from Sara, these people _were_ the closest to family he had over the last few years.

"That's why I turned the position down."

Grissom's head snapped up, and he glared at her unbelievingly.

"Oh, don't get your noodle in a knot, Gil.

I told the Sheriff there was no way I could leave the team right now.

We need each other."

Gil blinked. "You're – _graveyard_ supervisor?"

The Sheriff's booming voice interrupted Catherine's reply.

"You've trained this one well, Gil. She made it impossible to say, "No"."

"Well, we know how impossible Cath can be," chimed in Warrick as Catherine reached over to punch his arm in mock-agitation.

"If this is what you want, then I'm happy for you, Catherine. I really mean that," Gil spoke as he moved slowly to pull her into his soft embrace.

"But please," Gil spoke, making sure he had their total attention.

"I haven't told Sara yet, haven't had time what with everything…that happened…" his voice trailed a bit, and Brass could see the worry returning.

Greg broke the strain, however, when he piped up, "Well, if I know Sara she'll wrap her arms around herself, raise and eyebrow and then say," his voice mimicked in falsetto, "Grissom! I- I don't believe this!"

His impression of his former crush was so dead-on the mark that the gang burst into fits of laughter that continued as Greg held his pose.

Their happiness filled the sunlit room, and as Gil turned to admire the new construction he felt that truly this would become their home – perhaps the first _real _home they both ever had – complete with friends, and laughter, and _love._

Suddenly, Gil was filled with an urgent need to hold Sara.

He moved past the gang who had moved onto the wraparound front porch, and stalked up to Brass who was talking quietly with Logan.

"Can you…I was just…" for some reason, Gil couldn't gather his thoughts enough to speak.

"Anxious for your bride?" Jim teased, but he already was pulling his cell phone from his pocket.

Gil felt like a schoolboy waiting for his prom date: his palms were sweaty, his heart was pounding, his legs just wanted to pace back and forth anxiously.

"Okay, thanks," Brass spoke before clicking closed the case.

"_Well?_" demanded Grissom, and Logan couldn't help but break into a smile at his wedding jitters.

Although he could have some fun in prolonging his answer, Jim could see that Gil was barely hanging on to his composure.

Taking a deep breath, a full face smile broke out across Brass' face as he uttered, "She's on her way!"

--------------

Sara stepped forward through the polished main entryway and onto the lavish covered front porch of the homestead.

Her smile genuine, her heart filled with happiness, the bride turned and hugged Emma with thanks.

Just when she thought this day couldn't get any better, she turned to see a tuxedo-clad Billy climbing the stairs to escort her to her bridal carriage.

Making his way gruffly to the top of the stairs, her old friend bowed slightly and then donned his top hat before offering Sara his arm.

"Madam, your carriage awaits."

Sara couldn't stop giggling as she stepped with low heels onto each step, mindful of the important passenger who resided just below her waist where her bridal bouquet now rested.

"Whose car are we taking, Billy?" Sara asked happily.

"Oh, no car, Sara," Billy smiled. "Gil gave very specific instructions…"

His voice trailed off as they reached the end of the short gravel path that led them to the driveway.

Sara gasped as her hands flew to her mouth.

She was unable to move, taking in the sight before her.

A satin-ribbon harness gaily decorated a handsomely groomed Buttercup who whinnied and snorted softly at the sight of Sara approaching him.

Her face-splitting smile reached to her eyes as she ran her hand gently down the horse's mane.

"Hey, Buttercup…I missed you…"

The horse seemed to understand as it turned its head to sniff the beribboned bouquet Sara clutched possessively to herself.

"Oh," her chuckled warmed Billy's heart, "you like these daisies, do you?"

"Buttercup!" Billy chided harshly causing the horse to step back obediently.

Sara smiled at Billy, but leaned towards the friendly animal to stage whisper, "Me, too."

Billy smiled and took Sara's elbow leading them forward.

"Best be going, Sara. Wouldn't want that handsome groom of yours to be waiting now, would you?"

_Waiting._

_Gil Grissom is waiting to marry me._

_Then we will never be apart again._

_Seems like I've been waiting for this moment my whole life._

A slight shadow passed over her twinkling eyes.

_I'm going to do things right this time._

_My stupid mistakes have cost Gil great pain._

Taking a deep breath, Sara shook her head in determination.

_And I'm going to spend the rest of my life making sure I never cause him pain again._

With that resolve, Sara allowed Billy to hoist her onto the black leather, open-sided surrey.

Its canopy cover was bordered with white fringe and from the looks of it the entire carriage had received a recent makeover.

The memory of Lillian disappearing into the dry goods section of the local fabric center brought a smile to her face.

Shaking her head, Sara closed her eyes and breathed in her happiness.

How had all the horrors of her past led to this stage in her life?

She had people who cared for her.

No, loved her.

Her whole childhood was spent longing for this dream to come true.

Sara's eyes closed and immediately an image of Gil painted the inside of her eyelids.

_His eyes were bright with happiness._

_His smile was shy._

_His hand outstretched and his fingers moved slowly but deftly._

_F-O-R-E-V-E-R_

That image stirred an emotional response that Sara felt deep within her.

Her eyes flew open as she leaned forward.

"Billy…please…take me to Gil…"

His hat tipped in deference, his hands took up the reins, and his voice was commanding as he clicked his tongue as he jiggled Buttercup's straps.

"Let's go, Buttercup. There's a groom a'waiting for this little filly."

Sara's heart almost burst with anticipation as she braced herself against the forward motion of the carriage.

_My groom was a'waiting indeed._

She clutched the bouquet as she raised it to her nose, closing her eyes as the fresh-picked scent invaded her senses.

Her smile itself blossomed and her mind raced with thoughts of how her life would change forever.

Leaning back slightly against the plush interior of the horse-drawn carriage, Sara's pulse began to race as her mind enforced that image of him waiting for her, causing her to impatiently play with the petals of a flower as she sighed, "Oh, Gil."


	85. Chapter 85

A/N: It has taken six months to write this epilogue, several drafts were trashed in that time as I dragged my feet while trying to end this story…it continues to be a favorite of mine, and truthfully was one I didn't really want to see come to an end…so I submit this as a Merry Christmas gift to all who are still interested in reading about these characters…and cannot fully express my gratitude for the wonderful reviews and terrific reader support for this story…hope this ending will be satisfying and leave you – as I experienced – a bit teary-eyed but content for these characters…on a sigh, I shall just say that all good things must come to an end…hope you will have a blessed and wonderful new year… -Kathy

---------------

Epilogue

Fours years later…

The sun streamed warm rays through the summer afternoon as Sara ambled from the surrey she had driven to rest under the shade of the 100-year-old oak.

The soft sound of childhood play brought a one-sided grin to her lips which began to quiver until she bit down harshly to prevent the unwanted display of emotion.

Helping the child to the ground with a reminder to stay close by, a kiss ended the tyke's spoken promises as Sara turned back to the leather seat to grab her handled bag and head out towards her intended destination.

Her sandaled feet brushed through the soft spikes of the low-lying meadow grass which now sported the wild daisies he had sown especially for her across this wide expanse of acreage that led from the cabin to the family's ranch house.

Entering under the recently-painted archway, she inhaled softly in an effort to keep her emotions in check.

Finding easily the four-by-six patch of newly replaced earth, Sara set her shoulder bag down slowly as her eyes slowly lifted upwards before slamming shut under the weight of a renegade tear.

_Remember me with smiles, or don't remember me at all._

It was a promise he had finagled from her that last night at his bedside.

Keeping that promise was all she could give him now.

Smoothing her hand sentimentally over the mounded dirt, Sara shuddered as she pushed away at the recent memories that threatened to depress her.

Swiping at her eyes to dry them, she reached in the bag to retrieve her treasure.

Placing the photo album on her lap, her fingers ran lovingly over the picture of her and Gil on their wedding day, surrounded by Logan, Lillian, and their friends from Vegas.

She thought about the seemingly endless ride from the ranch house to the cabin, smiling at the memory of that journey…

_Getting more and more anxious to arrive, Sara tried to calm herself as Billy continued to keep the horses at a steady gallop._

_Looking out towards the thicket at the edge of the pasture, she blinked twice before shaking her head in disbelief._

_There, as the trees seemed to part slightly to reveal a lighted path, stood a figure Sara could barely make out as being male._

_Squinting slightly, she knew there was a familiar stance to this man, and she leaned forward to get a better view._

_If she didn't know better, she'd almost swear that it was…_

_As that thought suddenly took hold of her thoughts, Sara gasped as the figure suddenly raised his hand in greeting – and blew her a kiss before waving once more._

_She found it hard to inhale, and closed her eyes to blink hard before returning her gaze to the figure._

_The thicket was once again solid without trace of a lighted opening._

_Sara sat back stunned against the sun-warmed seat._

_A smile claimed her face, and a small chuckled escaped from her happy lips._

"_Sara? Darlin', you okay back there?" asked a somewhat concerned Billy._

_Turning towards the thicket once more, Sara's thoughts turned to Nick._

_He had always wanted only the best for her, and now she was sure that – whether she could testify that the mirage was real or just a wish-filled figment of her imagination - he had just found a way to reassure her of his love and to give her his blessing on this wedding day to the one man she had always loved._

"_Sara?" the question repeated with Billy now turned to see her grinning like a fool._

_Laughing out loud, Sara raised her bouquet and answered happily, "I'm just fine, Billy. Now, let's get the lead of out these horses, okay?"_

A sound from the nearby field caught Sara's attention as her daughter scrambled after a butterfly who flitted always just out of her grasp.

Her eyes moved towards the sky, remembering all the days she had watched her Gillian walk hand in hand with her Papa through these same fields.

Her stomach lurched slightly as she wondered how they'd manage without seeing that contented smile each day as he hugged and kissed them hello or goodbye or all the odd times in between.

Turning the pages, she smiled at more family photos, recalling the joy in Logan's eyes as she accepted the gift of "the cabin", recalling how Gil had spun her around happily as she laughed and cried that she finally had a place to call "home".

Her mind flashed snapshots of that wedding day in such rapid succession that Sara's breath caught on a sob, recalling how she felt she would never be that happy again.

But the intervening years proved again and again how wrong that feeling would be.

_Their first Christmas around the large fireplace at the ranch house with Sara feeling as big as a house at only six months as she sat perched on Gil's lap while Logan took a picture of them sneaking a kiss when they thought that no one was looking…_

_The day Gillian was born, and the unmistakable feeling of completion as she joined Gil when he cried as their baby was first laid in their arms…and the look of awe on Logan's face when she presented him with his first granddaughter…_

_Picnicking recently by the pond on their last anniversary, a sparkling and perfect day spent alone with her darling husband as their child was enjoying being the center of attention at her grandparents' home…_

A tear escaped her eye as her head moved towards the mounded earth next to her.

That picnic day…how could she know that her world would be turned upside down just the very next day…

_They sat on the veranda, Lillian moving into the house to get more lemonade._

_Watching her come back onto the covered porch, dropping the pitcher at the sound of Gillian screaming his name…_

_His body falling to the floor as he clutched his chest…_

_He had always insisted on "no extraordinary measures"…._

_A weeklong bedside vigil…never leaving his side, despite the urgings of the doctor to consider her own condition…_

_Their final conversation…simple declarations of love born of the special relationship the others simply would never truly fathom…_

Reaching a hand to wipe away the tears that fell unbidden down her cheeks, a chuckle suddenly rose from her throat at the sight that loomed before her.

Almost a moment of déjà vu, Sara's heart soared the sight of the biggest bouquet of fresh-picked daisies attached to a pair of adorable little legs which now lumbered towards her.

In a heartbeat, the legs stumbled and crumbled, causing the flowers to be strewn near the base of the gravesite.

Her motherly lurch forward was stilled by the giggling of the curly-headed moppet as she emerged from under the cascading field flowers.

Reaching her arms out in welcome, the child squealed with happiness as she flung herself into her mother's embrace.

Sara clung to her a bit tighter than normal, but Gillian did not seem to notice as she swayed in Sara's arms happily while her mother attempted to dry her tears in her daughter's beribboned brown tresses.

Pulling away slightly, Sara looked deep into her daughter's eyes.

"Where were you going with all those daisies, darlin'?" she asked, using the term of endearment her grandfather had enjoyed using for 'his girls'.

"I bring dem…for Papa…" Gillian smiled, patting the dirt after blowing a kiss into her chubby hand.

Sara was grateful that her daughter seemed oblivious to the _forever_ aspect of this separation, for now obliging them with satisfaction of their rudimentary explanation.

"Mama…roll!" Gillian laughed as she had now returned to the daisies and began rolling around on their silky smoothness.

Sara couldn't help but laugh and after a moment she stood stiffly to lay alongside her daughter amid the flowery expanse.

Gillian squealed happily as she fully rolled one way and then the other, crashing into Sara with glee.

Sara smiled broadly as she pretended to roll onto her side, awaiting another imminent crash when suddenly they were both distracted by the sounds of hooves pounding up the path towards them.

"Daddy!" yelled Gillian, her attention now focused on her parent's approach as she scrambled unsuccessfully to her feet.

Sara laughed and helped right her child fully, startled by the messy buss pressed quickly onto her cheek before her daughter trotted down the well-worn path towards the galloping steed.

Inhaling a shaky breath, Sara turned back towards the mounded dirt and rested her hand on cool earth which now was strewn in a lovely cascade of bits and pieces of wild field daisies.

"I love you, Dad," she whispered on an exhale, her gaze traveling lazily upwards towards the thicket in the distance that lined the pasture.

No surprise registered this time when she spotted a slight sunlit parting in the trees, encasing the two figures Sara now knew to both be familiar to her.

Raising one hand slightly, her fingers touched her trembling lips before extending them in the universal gesture of love before waving her hand in a final goodbye.

The older of the figures returned her gesture, and while their features were indistinct, in her heart Sara knew he was smiling broadly.

Hearing the horse slowing on the path, Sara turned her attention to her daughter for a moment as she waiting impatiently for the handsome figure to disembark from his saddle and swing her upwards into his loving arms.

Snapping her head again towards the thicket, her first reaction was to scream out for them to wait, wait one more minute…but the opening had again sealed the thicket into a darkened forest.

Her eyes remained focused on that area for another moment, so focused that the thud of a giggling child slamming onto her back startled her enough to let out a panicked gasp.

"Gilly! Careful of mama!" scolded Gil as he scooped the child off Sara's hunched frame, inspecting her mother for damage.

"I sorry, mama," the beautiful moppet whispered, her contrite brown eyes glancing upwards towards her father's glare before hiding her head in the nook of her daddy's neck.

Sara smiled.

That nook was her favorite spot, too.

Sara smiled a gap-toothed smile as she realized that at just over three years old, little Gillian Grissom knew her father would forgive her anything if she nestled firmly into that spot.

As expected, Gil's tone changed abruptly.

"Okay, darlin'…but we have to be very careful of mama nowadays, okay?" he spoke lovingly, setting Gillian back down to stand on the ground.

Suddenly Sara was overwhelmed by the entire experience this outing had afforded her, and she found herself slowly lowering herself onto the daisy bed as if she were leaning against Logan's sturdy shoulder.

Gillian took this as her signal to snuggle against her mother's shoulder, humming softly as her dusty shoes were raised into the air and captivating her as if they held the secrets of the universe.

"I came home and I couldn't find you, so I took a chance that you…might have…" Gil started hesitantly, unwilling to fully express his worry for her since Logan's emotional passing a mere ten days before.

"I just…I needed to get out for a while…I just kind of wound up-" she paused, needing a moment to come to terms with her feelings.

She thought for a moment how Gil had always been the one man she had loved, and in the four years they had lived here they had grown deeper in love each day.

Looking once again towards the man who was the quintessential husband and father, Sara suddenly allowed the grief of Logan's passing to melt away.

While their lives would always feel the absence of this man who had been the father Sara never had growing up, she knew that each day with those you love was a gift from above.

Her earlier vision had been a confirmation that love truly never ends, and that one day they would be reunited.

That thought made a smile cross Sara's face, and for the first time since this anguished ordeal began she was able to take a deep, cleansing breath.

Gil took that as his cue to lean on his elbow close enough to kiss the growing bump on Sara's midsection.

"You doin' okay, honey?" he asked, his concern evident in the concentrated look of his deep blue eyes.

Inhaling deeply, Sara felt a surge of indescribable joy in being surrounded by the reality of the love that for the past four years had been hers.

"I love you, Gil Grissom," she spoke softly as she raised her hand to run her fingers lightly through his soft curls.

Watching as Gil unconsciously ran his fingers lovingly over her baby bump in response, they were both startled when his hand suddenly pressed more firmly against body, his eyes twinkling as his smile matched Sara's.

"Was that…?" Gil asked, grinning even more broadly as Sara nodded with eyes glistening with happy tears.

Leaning over, Gil pressed a kiss against the spot where he just felt the butterfly movement, snaking upwards to kiss his wife lovingly and to stare into her eyes.

Their silent communication continued - he, searching for reassurance that she truly was going to be okay, and she, replying that she was fine.

He smiled softly, happy that when Sara said she was fine these days he could finally believe her.

Sneaking one more kiss, Gil claimed her hand and pressed another kiss into her palm.

Smiling towards their Gillian who had fallen into a light slumber, his eyes returned to Sara's as he thought again that he just might be the luckiest man on the face of this planet.

"How about I get the little one and I take you both back home in the surrey?" he asked as he leaned in for a kiss that made his full intentions clear.

When she continued to smile up at him, Gil added huskily, "If she continues to nap, maybe you could take a little rest yourself, Mrs. Grissom."

A small giggle escaped her, causing Gil to claim her mouth hungrily, pulling away regretfully but not wanting to delay their departure.

"Let's get you out of here, honey," he spoke as he stood, moving towards their sleeping child and lifting her easily and cradling her to his chest.

On her feet now, Sara looked once again towards the thicket before turning to gaze upon her husband and daughter.

At that moment, the child in her womb moved so quickly it caused Sara to gasp in surprise.

Next to her in a heartbeat, Gil's strong arm was around her shoulders.

"Honey! What is it? What do you need?" his words were swift and his expression concerned.

Feeling secure in her husband's embrace, she glanced over at the sleeping child wrapped protectively in her father's arms.

Standing there with her hand splayed across her growing baby bump, Sara smiled into her husband's eyes.

"As long as I have you – all of you - to have and to hold onto, Gil...I've got everything I will ever need."

The End -


End file.
